phae; no dress

[Austhehedgehog]

WTF Bomb...oooooooo...KABOOM!

[clattybrown]

had to connect a vid to this, it goes so well. and had to also say, this video like all i have seen by you really really is good, you are very very artistic, love the music too very sombre almost creepy, I want to smack you with a wand of happiness and make everything happy ever after for you but alas reality is a kick in the arse and you have took your fair share and gained so much from them, strength knowledge keys blah blah blah

[clattybrown]

That potrait of you is how you are my friend, caught you sooooooooo well, we never see our selfs as others see us, we look inside where others look at the outside to begin with, but you know as well as i do that as adults we dont just physically connect we mind connect too, you lost part of you (inside that is) but your here to say you did, girl your beauty shines through, no one is ever happy with theirself, you make your own role model and c'est la vie...

[phaedress]

I think you DID smack me with a wand of happiness today.

Thanks!

[clattybrown]

and that happiness wand i will give to you to smack yaself with anytime you wish but go gently as too much happiness hurts too, ver been tickled till you cry as a child, it hurts

have a great day my friend week month year decade life

[T2ariadne]

Well, Phaedress.

This was unexpected. Your video will probably help a lot of people,women especially...even those who still have two breasts.

It must have taken a lot of courage. I am very impressed with the way you put it together.

I also watched Mellomel's response. What a lovely song, and more so because it was created in answer to your creation.

Looking forward to more.

T2ariadne

[yoavzi]

we who are going to die sollute you, ceaser!

[phaedress]

"morituriti te salutant" sounds better..but you say the dying part is a joke.

[yoavzi]

well, dying is never a joke, just a sad fact of a godless universe.... what i meany is that (and m sure you got it) are brave, and for me, the only light i expect from this life is what shines out of people....

still, let's all prey there is a god... amen :)

[mkmusic06]

No illusion: You're still beautiful!

[Clarachk]

A mind-touching vlog! I do sit think about what parts of myself I do and do not share with the outside world. Why do I chose not to share all of me? Fear of rejection or being judged? Tact? This video, to me, is pure art and soul. We spend years dreaming about what could-have-been and even longer dreaming about things that seem so far away. It is important that we learn how to let our minds grow, despite our losses. I believe imperfections are those little things that make us, well, Perfect.

[phaedress]

"There is a crack in everything...

that's how the light gets in."

Leonard Cohen

[Clarachk]

Yet another great one. To the book it goes! Thanks for reminding me that it's okay to have cracks sometines.

[EquisHalo]

Phae, Phae, PHAE!...Thanks for this. I love this. I really wanted to share this, though. I struggle too. This is very real. You are very courageous to put yourself out and feel vulnerable. 3 Cheers for you.

[phaedress]

Hi. You really wanted to share what?

Share, honey, g'head!

[EquisHalo]

Your video, of course. Embed is disabled =X But I did shared the link =)

[phaedress]

embed where?

[tinotrivino]

its a shame that you live in usa if you lived here in europe you never wuld have that problem .. i hope you are doing well than for me it wasnt so terrorific to see that but here ni spain for example the operations for that kind of things they helpd you to put a sintetic breast (sorry for my bad english) i hope things change soon.. it was very brave from you to put this video.. big hugs :-) tino from Spain

[phaedress]

Actually, I live in Canada, and can have the operation but choose not to for now.

[tinotrivino]

canada is a god place.. :) once i had a girlfriend in quebec :-)

[tinotrivino]

hello :-D could you tell me please wich song you used? or is it in the final credits? i am still watching

[phaedress]

there's a link to the right for the band

[MartySchrader]

Radical mastectomy _will_ change your body. You are one special lady for not letting it conquer your mind nor your spirit. Yeowza!

[kilroy2point0]

This is a great video. Makes one think about our perceptions. You are a wonderfully beautiful person on so many levels, at least as far as I can tell from never having met or spoken to you. What comes through in your videos is great. Be proud of who you are. You are beautiful! Oh and I loved the Mellomel vid thanks for sending it. Made me cry, but like I told him, in a good way. It just felt beautiful.

[hrumphga]

I've seen this video seven times, and been holding off my comments, because your integrity, your honesty, and your courage humbles me and haunts my days. You are one beautiful person, but you don't need me to tell you that. Thank you for continuing to make me face myself, and confront the demons we travel with everyday. I am in awe.

[StephStance]

Ooo baby... I look at my life every day,right here on YouTube... :o(

[Mellomel]

This opens my mind ...grounds my soul. I am humbled by this video...and love you more.

[phaedress]

Hi Mellomel!

Gosh, I haven't seen you in my comments for AGES.

Thanks for the visit.

((hugs!))

[Mellomel]

I know exactly what you mean in what I reffer to as the need to come "clean." I thinnk we all experience it at some point. I know I did during a period where I was in the public eye a lot more than I am now....when i started becoming follicly challenged. Then I wanted to just shave it all off...but then I was cured. Two different subjects, but I still understand...really I do.

[phaedress]

I notice in your video response you are hatless.

Could I love you more? Doubt it.

great goopy hugz to your whole family.

[taragolden]

i have given this more more thought.. like any piece of art everyone will react differently and thats good.. so as you are being totally honest ill match that in my comments..

1.. im sorry you went through what you did.

2. it makes me more conscious/grateful for my own health, and to continue to work out/ eat well.

3. it makes me think even more that we are not our bodies.

[phaedress]

Thank-you. From you, it means a lot.

[taragolden]

art. my highest compliment, real, honest, challenging..

[Thorneau]

Is this appropriate? This sort of video only shocks and disgusts people, especially your poor family.

Why would you be so brutal towards yourself?

[philipsmovies]

This is a very moving,revealing and thought provoking video.Well Done Phae and thank you.

[mollylotus7]

brilliant.

[phaedress]

I was the original Liker...the one who coined the phrase.

Have you seen that (now-ancient) footage?

[phaedress]

Well, the feeling is mutual.

I've just been checking out your channel..as you are my 400th subscriber.. and there is much more than a quick perusal's worth.

I look forward to discovering more.

[danielnz1]

As Joe Cocker sings ...

You are so beautiful to me!

Seasons cheers!

[dishdiva]

this video was...was...I don't know how to explain. I loved it. Mysterious, captivating, message without pushing a message. Awesome work.

[fehquig]

Wow! This has got to be your best one yet! There's the introspection, there's the editing, there's the camera angle,

there's the soundtrack, and there's you being real. Brava!

Great video! What's here is the kind of production that many,

including myself, aspire to...

[phaedress]

Many thanks and welcome back!

[eligarf]

Rivetting! or is it rivotting?

e

a

L

i

z

i

n

greatnessweetruthsaysomuch. very well done!

[phaedress]

Interesting comment. :)

[MusiCureSanity]

oh, gotta excuse eLi. you see he tried curing his sanity without music and well, it went a little too far so i doubt we can help hiMuch.

But he is really harmlessometimestupidontworryB­happy!

[phaedress]

Ok, sure.

peace!

[angelgallardo1]

pretty deep stuff!

[phaedress]

Thanks Angel. Actually, if was barely a foot of water.

[PPocket]

still appear to be a beatiful person wishes aside fo a moment most of us see our outside from the eyes of others anyway

peace

M

[phaedress]

M;

Yes, we see the outsides. Art is for reflecting the insides.

[TheaterOfMemory]

What a beautifully made video. It is very powerful!

[blueclouds4me]

"I pull you from your tower, take away your pain. Show you all the beauty you possess, if you only let yourself believe." Sarah McLachlan quotes (Canadian Singer)

But Phaedress, this I believe you already know:) Your beauty cannot be bottled, manufactured or re-created. It eminates from within you, a rare commodity in today's world. I am new to your world and enjoying watching all of your vids as each one brings to the table a new vision of untold truths!!

Hug Life,~Marylou~

[phaedress]

Blue:

I adore Sarah McLachlan; she is quintessentially Canadian in all the best ways.

[ScourgeoftheSea]

You mean there's a body to go with the mind? Cool.

[phaedress]

Dear Scourge: yep, all minds come housed in bodies...unless you beleive in Descarte's demon. :)

[pissantpunk]

Wow, you never fail to amaze me. You are 300x stronger and brave than I would have to say 90% or more of the world. This video... God, I feel so much love for you right now I can't even think of what to say!

[phaedress]

(doing the math...)LOL!

Where you been, pretty boy? I've already seen you in your undies, so perhaps you should do a "response" vid.

MONSIEURchi made a really great one, but he's closed his account for some reason since then.

[pissantpunk]

*laughs* Yeah, I might... but then you'd see my ugly blue bathtub! I might still though. I just really don't know what I would say on it other than "Hey Phae, Look at my bum!"

heh.

[phaedress]

"Hey Phae, Look at my bum!"

heh.

omigosh! That, in itself, is ROTFL funny.

[JadedIllusions27]

Very provocative and executed with talent that many fail to show on here.

The music made it feel almost dark and chaotic.

The elegant musings of a very intelligent beautiful person. More than musings...sorry musings is not the word I would use I guess profound thoughts that while spoken softly came across loud and leaves an echo. Awesome!

[phaedress]

I actually made the video with entirely different music, then just before uploading tried this...and then had several more hours of editing to do, because the whole thing changed on me. It wasn't originally "dark and chaotic", but I like it better than way.

[LizBizToo]

Powerful, courageous vid, phae becoming undressed/unveiled....my hope is that it was cathartic for you :)

[phaedress]

Liz;

It was enormously cathartic.

Now what?

[LizBizToo]

Wonderful :)

(We should all do a 'response' vid lol...wouldn't that be a trip)

Good question...you know...carry on w/ze Big Flow (note caps! ha!) :)

[pissantpunk]

Hmmmm, interesting idea on the response vids. I would be very intrigued to see the results of that! Perhaps I'll do one myself, but doubtful because I'm not as creative as our lovely hostess Phaedress.

[LizBizToo]

Isn't it, though? Surely a nice long soak in the tub before taping would help the process; hey, go with the (water!)flow...your unique way.

I have about 3 projects to finish first, but maybe then (next summer lol) :D

[phaedress]

Liz-in-a-tub!

I bet yours has golden claw feet.

[LizBizToo]

Woah! Haa, nah; lotsa ole stuff in this abode, but peeps are always surprised to find clean contemporary pale silvers n creams there (helps clear the mind thang for relaxing :)

[phaedress]

ah..that would be really cool!

[DawndeeDALLAS]

I was Truely moved by your courage and honesty.

Our bodies are but a shell that holds our True Beauty and that is our Soul! When I made those pic's of you it was your words that most inspired me. Your Friend Dawn~

[phaedress]

Thanks Dawn,

I appreciate the use of your art!

[PositiveLogic]

Carefully considered

cleverly crafted

AND

hopefully cathartic

;-}

[RandomHater007]

How did I get to a point where I'm watching some naked fat chick without tits take her clothes off?

[undiesinabunch]

Thanks for the reminder on how cold and cruel the world can be. Hurt people hurt people. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you. The world is full of love and I hope some day you find it RandomHater007.

[pissantpunk]

Or, How did you get to the point where you felt you had to insult someone for no reason? She put herself out there in a way that I'm sure you could never have done. She's very brave for this video. You should be ashamed.

[Haynes1994]

I have to admire your braveness, and your willingness to be so open and honest with everyone. ((hugs))

PS-- And I think you are beautiful, too!

[phaedress]

Thanks.

I think from the moment I got on here I've been wanting to show my mastectomy.

Hope you are well.

((hugs))

[enjoythevoyage]

"If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness"

5*

[7anby]

You are cool and beautiful... the fact that you sometimes question your coolness and beauty makes you all the more so.

Just telling the truth.

[tushygalore]

What an absolutely stunning work of art this is!

You're beautiful in every shot... I can't see the ugly or the lack of wholeness.

You are amazing.

[phaedress]

Tushy:

Not that I don't appreciate your vote of confidence, but did you miss the amputated body parts???

[tushygalore]

I saw. My original statement still stands.

[iseehaters]

this was really well made.. awesome.

[roadhouse48]

cool

[morfeene2]

This (of course) doesn't change a thing about the way I feel towards you. NADA. ZIP. You are my Phaedress - beautiful in mind, body and spirit. Very interesting video, though - thought provoking for some and I loved your flowing hair in the tub - YUMMY ;-)

[phaedress]

You!

Are!

Yummy!

Too!

so there

[kayleewyatt]

wow , this video was absolutely peircing, and as much as you tried to dispell it: BEAUTIFUL

[phaedress]

Actually, kaylee, I wasn't trying to dispell it all,just braden the definition.

[kayleewyatt]

well you succeeded

[phaedress]

I agree with you, actually.

[phaedress]

Were you watching Nip/Tuck in your hot-tub when you had this thought, young man?

[amjPeace]

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are still unspeakably beautiful! and thank you for not "blowing bubbles" cuz that would have really shocked me! ((HUGS))

[phaedress]

Annie, my dear, you are the one blowing bubbles! If you puff up my ego, my head will explode; and then what?

[Minniver]

Dearest Phaedress I cannot tell you how much I related to this aamazingly honest, stark video.

[phaedress]

Minniver;

you don't have to.

[Minniver]

I think you are one of the most beautiful women I've had the honor to meet.

[000dgtlkttn000]

That was amazing! Thanks you for sharing how you feel, and for being so honest.

You are beautiful!

Much love, peace and respect to you Phae,

N xx

[phaedress]

I'm glad you liked my little effort, N.

[guitmartiman]

"Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity" (Ecclesiastes 1:2). The beauty of youth is at best fleeting. But the beauty of character is what's really attractive. As one of my favorite evangelists once said, "there are basically four different kinds of people. There are pretty pretty, pretty ugly, ugly pretty, and ugly ugly people." Even with your mask off, you're beautiful to me.

[phaedress]

Jack;

always handy with a scripture. :)

[zdaveard]

Such a powerful video... And so artful... I just can't find the words to convey how great a job you did... It left me wanting to give you a long hug and tell you that you're a desirable woman and the surgery hasn't changed that. I mean that in a respectful way. I'm an old guy and don't want to be accused of trying to rob the cradle...

~virtual hugs~

-- David

[phaedress]

David,

Virtual hugs to you, too, extra hard for suggesting you'd be "robbing the cradle".

Yer sweet, you are.

[Marihani]

When we get older, our bodies are no longer "perfect". They show what we have been through. Some more than others, but they are still OUR bodies and house OUR souls. And if you have a good soul (like you do), then that shines through and makes the body beautiful too.

[phaedress]

Our bodies house our souls...yeah. My soul wants new digs...lol.

[Marihani]

LOL! I think your soul has a beautiful home as it is! We are all much more critical of our bodies than others are - unless they are B|TCHES! ;-D

[phaedress]

Thank-you.

What can I say to that? We've discussed walking, and running, and my difficulties.

I wanna whine..but I won't.

hugs!

[Marihani]

I think we are all allowed to whine a little once in a while. But then we have to pick ourselves up and go for a walk! Hehe!

Hugs right back!

[phaedress]

"go for a wals"...hmm...keep an eye out for my next video, entitled: "waist-deep in snow" LOL!

[Marihani]

Hahaha! And mine - "Where's Noah hiding his ark?"

But we both know that if the sun is shining, we should at least try to go outside for a bit. Right? I am going to try harder, now that I have umpteen Christmas-gifts made and delivered :-)

[phaedress]

you have whot?!

Oh my! Such enviable diligence.

[Marihani]

Not diligence. We just got back from Norway, and I had to bring most of the gifts with me! Most of our gifts go that way. Raided the book-store for those not ceramic. One-stop shopping for almost all interests! :-)

Hugs!

[gleegirloz]

As always an amazing and thought provoking video, I never expect anything less from you! And you are very beautiful! I find bravery and honesty to be extremely attractive qualities and you possess these by the bucketful!

[phaedress]

Bucketfulls of glee!

[Lingacreations]

This video was beautiful! You are beautiful! :) Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us in such an intimate and open way. You are truly courageous.

[phaedress]

In a way, it's been on my mind since your "Beautiful" video.

Speaking of you two brilliant ladies: anything new on the horison?

[Lingacreations]

Life seems to be flying by. Seeing your film yesterday was the first I've watched in a long time. But I shall try and put a new vid on soon.

[phaedress]

I will be looking forward to it.

[ichbinkeinberliner]

I seriously think you are very beautiful. Great video too, but I happen to think you are beautiful, so I guess I don't agree with the premise. I love the bathtub vlog! :)

[phaedress]

Kristin;

Nein, nein...the premise is not "I am ugly". If anything, it is "nobody is as perfect as they would like to be."

[ChameleonArt]

I found the Phaedress from the vids I watched to be strong, beautiful from within, intelligent, tough, formidable, powerful. Every day I believe no one would like me if they knew the real me. I relate. The painting is how you look to me. xxoo Anne

[phaedress]

Anne,

It was your art that inspired me to come out of hiding.

[undiesinabunch]

We've already fallen in love with you, so you can't change that with these images. But this video teaches me that our self perceptions are so much more dreadful than reality. I've never been able to comprehend how people could honestly find me attractive with my cleft lip. I finally understand. With tears I thank you! Your imperfect body is perfectly beautiful.

[phaedress]

It is I who is grateful...

[sprichbeeke]

A very courageous video...and a work of ART !

[phaedress]

Beeke;

That is much valued praise, coming from you.

[Blinkazoid]

None of us, now matter what we look like, or what cards we're dealt will ever truly overcome our vanity. Cancer dealt a very cruel blow to you. One that no one should have to go through. One that can't be fully comprehended by someone who hasn't gone through it. All we can do is focus on those things which give ourselves enough personal gratification to shove all the other crap far enough into the background that we're better able to deal with it. An excellent and brave vid Phae.

[Blinkazoid]

We each bring our own little slice of individuality and specialness into this world that no one else can quite duplicate. I oftentimes marvel at, and envy the gifted way you have of putting things. I for one am certainly glad to have met you here. Go easy on those soap suds there. You might need to save a few for the fire:)

[phaedress]

"I oftentimes marvel at, and envy the gifted way you have of putting things...."quoth phaedress to her hero, Blinkazoid.

[1938superman]

Phae... No ailment of body... No perception of imperfection based off of societal standard... Can destroy what is beautiful about you, my dear. There is likely more of you in those pictures than you think. I am your friend. I love you. And I'm not going anywhere. And btw... you don't leave me disturbed. But nice try. ;-)

[phaedress]

Andy;

You are a sweetheart & I love you.

But you hardly need my leave to be disturbed. :)

[1938superman]

you know me well. LOL :-)

[susangm]

No wishful thinking can make you whole again??? You ARE whole, dammit! You are so very much more WHOLE than 99.999999% of the world. A whole intellect, a whole artist, a whole woman who is beautiful. A WHOLE BODY THAT WORKS, and plays and reads and moves in the world and communicates and sees and feels and hears and touches. You touch the world. How much more whole would you want to be? Perfect? Name someone for me. Someone who is. Your "stuff" is so very whole.

[susangm]

You are amazing!!!!!!! Beautiful, intelligent, a fabulous artist, totally thought provoking, and just so damned brave I can't even find the words to tell you how much I LOVE YOUR STUFF! That STUFF that's inside that head of yours and how grateful I am you put it out there. Amazing. fucking amazing, dammit.

[phaedress]

susangm;

Why so reticent with your feelings?

(blush!)

[my15minutes]

still here, phae

[phaedress]

Owen;

here? where?! I think I lost the trail. Got hungry and ate the breadcrumbs, too bad I never found the eggs.

[my15minutes]

guess i'll have to make more :D

[phaedress]

Yes, please!

[my15minutes]

very well then!  :D

i'll upload a favorite joke. today!

[nikitejay]

Eerily beautiful Phae un dress.

I'm speechless.

Except to say that was art. Bravo!

And I love you. Nikita

[phaedress]

Nikita,

You made me do this, didn't you? I bet people would much rather see you in a tub...

I'd call it "nikki takes bubbles with her pet aliens; while a fat cat watches"

too wordy?

[nikitejay]

Yes Phae,

I made you do this with my telepathic powers. LOL!

My fat cat is a pervert. I would never let him see me naked. He likes nipples. And no, I care to share how I know this. LOL!

[petrus4]

I don't know what to say, Phae...I'm scared of saying the wrong thing...I feel for you, though.

[phaedress]

Petrus;

I can't beleive after I've literally bared all you could imagine there's a "wrong thing" to say!

There is no wrong thing, though I appreciate your sympathy.

[sainter1]

I was joyfully disturbed, very joyfully...disturbed. :)

Yes, why? Eye of the beholder? Perhaps we are here; perhaps we are, as we are, at this moment in time simply because there is no alternative? :)

Brilliant vid!!