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  • Anya: For God sakes Andrew! You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?

    Andrew: Entertaining and educating.

    Anya: Well, why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?

    LOL I love Anya (and Spike) best character(s)

  • Why couldn't Xander be possesed by a puppy, or some ducks?

  • 2nd best line (after Out for a walk.... bitch)

    Xander: She's a sex bot. I mean, what guy doesn't dream about that? Beautiful girl with no other thought but to please you, willing to do anything.

    (He gets strange looks from the group.)

    Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but he'd get it.

  • "Whenever giles sends me on a mission he always says please... and then afterwards i get a cookie" Buffy season 3

  • not the best.. but their buffy so i still love them

  • epic face quote 7 spike

  • Bit of a season six focus, no?

  • i just cant stand all this nambypamby boohooing about the bloody indians. you came in you took their lands and you massacred them end of story. Its what conquering nations do. Its what Ceasar did and he's not going around saying "I CAME I CONQUERED *in mopey voice* i felt really bad about it"

    pangs had great quotes

  • I—I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries. They're really good. Spike: Not as good as those onion blossom things. Andrew: Ooh, I love those. Spike: Yeah, me, too. Andrew: It's an onion... and it's a flower. I—I don't understand how such a thing is possible. Spike: See, the genius of it is, you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape. Then you deep-fry it root-side up for about 5 minutes. Andrew: Masterful. Spike: Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you.

  • What episode is quote 8 from?

  • @bobothebearguy Oh never mind, saw the end of the video! Thanks!

  • Anya: "Maybe we shouldn't do this reintegration thing right away. See, I can take the boys home, and we can all have sex together, and then, you know, just slap them back together in the morning."

    Xander 2: "She's joking."

    Xander 1: "No, she's not! She entirely wants to have sex with us together. Which is... wrong. And it would be very confusing."

    Giles: "We just need to arrange the candles. Also, we should continue to pretend we heard none of the disturbing sex talk."

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  • These are great! But how about

    Willow: It's not about his physical presence--it's about his heart..

    Anya: His physical presence has a PENIS!!

    Willow: I can work around it!!

  • "You're English, right?"

    "Yes."

    "I've seen every episode of Doctor Who."

    "..."

    (Picturing Spike watching Doctor Who is seven different kinds of hilarious.)

  • I'm only 126!

  • Faith: There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.

    Buffy: Also, you went evil and were killing people.

    Faith: Good point. Also a factor.

    one of my favourite lines

  • 'like those famine pictures from dusty countries... Only not half as funny'! And spikes cheekbones in quote 8 look amazing! Hahaha!

  • Buffy: it feeds off our fear! Everyone we beed to stop right now!

    Xander: its ok if we close our eyes and pretend its a dream... THEY'LL STAB US ALL TO DEATH!

  • stop touching my magic bone!

  • what episode is "I have a muscle cramp"?

  • @wisconsincountrygal season 6 episode 14

  • it always amazes me when people don't include:

    YOU MADE A BEAR!

  • "Stop touching my magic bone!" LMAO I can't watch that scene without cracking up or at least chuckling, just like Warren and Andrew. :P

  • "Why can't you just masterbate like the rest of us?" lol

  • @sabrinamatis it was 3,7,8,9,11 but i just realised at the end u have the list, im sorry for being a pain... But loved even more the sexond time round

  • quote 10 lol

  • My favorite isn't so much one quote as it is the idea of Spike having a cozy conversation discussing his problems with Buffy's mom.

  • @goldenphoenixeyes "Have you got any of those little marshmallows?"

  • My favorite:

    Buffy: sorry, I was raised the old-fashioned way, men dig up the corpses and women have the babies :D

  • my all time favorite

    Buffy:"You had sex with Giles on the hood of a police car..... TWICE!?"

  • @benjierooster I like the end bit of the episode when Giles walks into a tree xD

  • Quote 7 the best!

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  • Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.

    Waiter: ID.

    (Anya glares at him)

    Waiter: ID.

    Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!!!

    Waiter: ID.

    Anya: Gimme a coke....

  • I miss Anya, all she said was funny :)

  • One of my absolute favorites:

    Spike: I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody indians. You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it."

    Love the way he says the last line :D

  • Buffy - What are you doing here?

    Spike - I...

    Buffy - FIVE words or less

    Spike Out. For a Walk... Bitch

  • @Wilara4Ever that's my favourite, too

  • Another Good Quote From Seasons 4 " The Freshman"

    When You Look Back At This In The 3 Seconds It Takes You To Turn To Dust, I Think You'll Find The Mistake Was Touching My Stuff !

  • My favorite:

    "I cost you? That's a designer lamp you mook!"

  • "You're english right?"

    "...yes..."

    "I've seen every episode of Doctor Who."

    "..."

  • here is an other one:

    Buffy: Spike and I are getting married...

    Xander: how? what? how?

    Giles: three excellent questions.

  • It's missing the one w/ Willow saying to Buffy, "You can do that thing with your mouth that the boys like. No, not that, the other thing!"

  • S02E05:

    "Willow?"

    "oh sorry, it's just the reflection, Angel how do you shave?"

  • I always really loved this gem from season 2 - "Earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help cause your girlfriends a big ho?!"

  • "Fail" lol

    

  • reading these comments, and watching the video, I realize that Spike had more of the funniest lines in the series than any other character. I knew there was a reason he was my favorite, other than just his badassery...

  • Really funny, thanx for posting

  • haha funny stuff

  • The entire episode of Tabula Rasa = Win.

  • I like "and afterwards I get a COOKIE!!"

  • llol, imma say to my friednsw "u mook"

  • i've always loved "out. for. a. walk...bitch"

  • The face Spike gives the one who mentions Doctor Who (I forget his name...) is absolutely priceless.

  • quote 10 FTW

  • SPIKE: "I'm drowning in footwear!"

    It gets me every time! It's such an intense moment and then out comes this weird lame comment. It's not his funniest quote but I love it!!!

  • my fav is

    "RANDY GILES?! why not just call me horny Giles or desperate for a shag Giles?! I knew there was a reason I hated you." -- Spike

  • My favourite :)

    Giles: You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.

    Spike: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?

    LOL

  • @tarawillbuff9

    that one's one of my faves :D

  • @tarawillbuff9 this and

    Cordelia: I don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan

    Oz: we attack the mayor with Hummus

    Cordelia: I stand corrected

    it made me laugh so hard I kept rewinding to hear him say it again!

  • @smokestripe6 haha :D oz is so funny in such a sly way :)

  • One of my Favs.

    Spike: What, just come to pump me for information?

    Buffy: What else would I wanna pump you for..... I really just said that didn't I???

    LMFAO

  • Spike: And, I never really liked you anyway and....you have...stupid hair!

  • 1:15 cracked my assss upXDDD!!

  • OMG why do i laugh soooo much when he says hey stop touching my magic bone :LL replay replay replay replay replay :D x

  • Buffy: What are you doing here. Five words or less.

    Spike: Out for a walk..bitch!

  • One of the best quotes from the series.

    Spike: Oh poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea.

  • one of my favorite lines is xanders "you can't defeat the penis!"

  • Lots of lolz, some fun quotes here - obviously from a fan of Andrew /the Trio and kitten poker. :o)

    I love the inclusion of the first quote cos it's a very long time since I've watched that scene and not one of the top quotes that would come to mind, but it's a fab Giles & Wesley moment.

  • Sorry, just a comment: Andy couldn't have seen EVERY episode of Doctor Who. This was before the reboot, and he would have been about 3 when it was taken off the air. The BBC, during those later years destroyed many tapes, making those episodes lost forever. So... yeah. Done nerding out now. I'm just going to go sit in that corner over there.

  • @theaterchick

    Ha. I am such a geek, let's have a geek out moment together. Cos I was thinking and about to post the exact same thing. I don't remember thinking this the very first time I watched this scene with Andrew, but I think I was less of a Dr Who nerd pre-reboot.

  • Is it bad that seeing this video for the first time I was able to say EVERY line in time with the characters? *leaving to get a life*

  • @jr89dp it's ok...so could i...yeah, i need a life.

  • i hate spike booooo

  • Cordelia (to Giles): How many times have you been knocked out? Any more times and you'll wake up in a coma!

    Giles: Wake up in a coma? How can you wake up ... Oh, never mind.

  • Buffy: What are you doing out here Spike? 5 words or less.

    Spike: Out...for...a...walk..........­....bitch

    Definitely my favorite quote!

  • Buffy v. Dracula: "No more butt monkey!"

  • one of my all time favorites has to be buffy saying to her mother "You had sex with Giles on the hood of a police car?..... TWICE!!"

    i spit my drink everywhere the first time i heard that one lol.

  • @benjierooster Oh my god.. I LOVED that one.

    It was so awkward.

    ..but hilarious! Lol

  • @SincerlyEvermore that and xander's "nothing can defeat the penis!!" or giles "you have the emotional capacity of a blueberry scone" so many it's hard to choose lol

  • @benjierooster "Nothing can defeat the PENIS!" (everyone stares at him) "...too loud...very unseemly..." In seven years of awesome moments that's definitely in the top ten.

  • "It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big." -Spike

  • "A muscle cramp? In your... pants?" lol, great one, you go Tara.

  • Spike : who gunna advance me a tiny tabby. get me started

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  • Spike: i had a muscle cramp... Buffy was helping me out

    Tara: a muscle cramp? in your pants?

    Spike: WHAT!?!? ITS A THING!

    HAHA my favorite along with "HEY! stop touching my magic bone!" i can tell im very dirty minded cuz i started cracking up right away lol :p

  • @sabrinamatis where are these quotes in the series do you remember

  • @Charmedfan2404 The first quote you are looking for is from season six episode "Older and far away" and the second quote comes from season six "Life Serial" hope that helps.

  • @Charmedfan2404 all of the quotes or just specific ones?

  • lol Im totally gonna use the 'you have the emotional maturity of blueberry scone' line on ppl!

  • 0.45 please? C:>

  • Seeing Tom Lenk (Andrew) doing stand in Edinburgh tonight :)

  • What is that sharkfacedudething?

  • @ragsash he's a joke on a "land shark" gansters who are out for money or property and will do anything to get it. In this case Spike owes the shark kittens... (sry if my discription of a land shark is off. I don't really know a whole lot about them.

  • @Sesshomaru092

    urm, sorry to be pedantic here, but felt the need to comment on misinformation. It's a 'loan shark' not a 'land shark'. As in, they are people who lend money illegally for very high interest rates and use violence to get back any money which is late or defaulted on. Hence, if you think about it, it makes sense that they are called 'Loan sharks' - what with sharks being predators. Don't think there's such a thing as a 'land shark' ...

  • Here's another great quote from the series.

    Spike- "A bear! You made a bear!"

    Buffy - "I didn't mean to."

    Spike - "Undo it! Undo it!"

  • @Lediv7 i dont remember that one, what was that from?

  • @akkaside, it's from the season 4 episode Pangs.

  • @Lediv7 cheers! I'll have to rewatch the series, havent seen it since it was on!

  • @Lediv7 when was that one?

  • @Lediv7 probably my personal favorite in the entire series

  • @Lediv7 well, that, and a couple minutes before when he gets hit by like the 12th arrow and can only roll his eyes and mutter "Bloody hell..."

  • angel disliked this vid

  • 1 person has the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone

  • "Like famine pictures from those dusty countries...only not half as funny." Lol xD

  • Doctor  Who!

  • right...a muscle cramp in your...pants.

    hey, it's a thing!

  • Love the reference of doctor who. In french it was not this one.

  • Wesley has the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone XD lol he's such a weenie

  • what was all that about with Spike and the kittens?

  • @degrassiluvaforeva kitten poker...

  • "Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?" LMAO! I love Anya!

  • That's Right! I'm Back and I'm A Bloody ANIMAL!

  • He can't have seen every episode of Doctor Who. That would mean he was able to see the lost episodes. Which are lost. So he can't have seen them. Not only that, a lot of Doctor Who isn't out on DVD so that's no reason he would have seen that instead of Red Dwarf. And, um... I'm not a geek. Just wanted to clarify..........

  • @Nilanna And I was honestly wondering about that, as I am desperately trying to find all the episodes.

  • @Nilanna Damn. I was going to say that. And I am a geek. :)

  • @TheGoldenTV Oh so am I, that was a joke. I'm also a girl. Double geek for knowing that.

  • @Nilanna Girl geeks are the best. Especially Doctor Who girl geeks.

  • shit and one from season 4. never mind haha

  • and 7 :P

  • These are only from season 6...

  • you should have had Xander's dracula monologue about his accent

  • you made me lol.

  • 1:48 i love that episode

  • you missed "how'd the laying go last night!"

  • lololol masturbate!

  • i loved Anya quote haha

  • "A muscle cramp? In your pants?"...what got me the most about that was that it was Tara who asked that LOL....sweet old innocent Tara of all people LOL.

  • My favorite... "I'm too hungry to remember everything" and sometimes i keep say it in my 'term' such as 'I'm too hungry to cook'.. so my hubby then get me something to eat LOL...

  • I haven't watched Buffy much since I started watching Doctor Who, and I totally forgot about them mentioning that. I AM GOING TO WATCH THE ENTIRE SERIES OF BUFFY AGAIN (for the 3rd time) JUST BECAUSE OF THAT. :D This video just made my life.

  • I was watching Doctor Who at the same time I watching this!

  • The last one was funny, spike wins

  • You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone.

    Fucking love you Giles.

  • i think spike has his sexiest look in season 6! he's soo freakin HOT!

  • Seasons 4, 5, 6 and 7 are what makes this show the best show that ever landed on TV screens.

  • @ChrissieBana Ugh, Season 7?! And really, Season 6 only had a couple of good moments after OMWF (which was, without question, the best episode of the series).

    Besides, what was wrong with seasons 2 and 3? Both had epic endings. Both had many excellent scenes - Jonathon's speech at the prom (giving Buffy her award) in particular comes to mind.

  • @NecessaryTruths UGH, people have different tastes.

  • @ChrissieBana Poor writing, and tired acting isn't a "different" taste, it's bad taste.

  • @NecessaryTruths Ah go get a fucking life.

  • @ChrissieBana I agree! Although, disagree about season 4. The last three seasons are definitely my favourites. Seasons 1 and 4 are my least favourites, but I definitely liked 4 more than 1, it had it's moments - Wild At Heart, Something Blue, A New Man, Fear Itself in particular come to mind. But it must be the Spuffy lover in me, but 6 was by far the best season!

  • @NecessaryTruths So you didn't dig them, others did. Learn to accept variations in opinions because, newsflash, you're gonna encounter it for the rest of your life.

  • That last one is sooo priceless! I cant stop laughing.

  • stop touching my magic bone!

  • Taras not buying it Spike...

  • oh oh oh what about

    "out. for. a. walk...BITCH????

    i looooove that one! 

  • "or Mmm cookies" lol

  • oh no. where's PETA when you need them?!?!

  • Out - for - a - walk.. bitch? :(

  • How about B-I-T-C-H = bitca!?

  • "Well why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?"

  • "subscrbe" what is that? And you should have preceded each quote with where it came from not just at the end. You know, footnote instead of endnote.

  • 0:38 best bit ever

  • FAIL- pmsl :D

  • "I've seen every episode of Doctor Who" <-- whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Speaking of Doctor Who on Buffy... next to Spike who played a sexy badass on Torchwood... this part made my day :)

    mind = blown :D

  • "Like those famine pictures from dusty countries... Only not half as funny." XD Ah, Spike. Gotta love him.

  • 'I cost you? That's a designer lamp you mook' If I was drinking something I'd have spat it out!

  • 'WARREN!!!!' i just love spike <3

  • Blueberry Scones!

  • Quote 7 is my fave - when he said it I was like : Yeah, Doctor Who is mentioned on buffy - and here I was thinking this couldn't get any better

  • I love Tara ;D

  • "Aaaah" "Aaaah". Fail. Epic!

  • i think the '5 words or less' moment was the best ever, every time i see it i still die of laughter, my sister who hasn't even seen the show still loves the scene.

  • quote 7=doctor who=torchwood. ever heard of a name called captain jack harkness, spike :P (im a nerd)

  • "Well why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?"