QI XL F07 - Fingers and Fumbs

[SayidShazeen]

BRAAAAAAAH!

[cranberryjuiceeXx]

Rock paper scissors lizard spock

[sinmantky]

This is the best line-up.

[CrystalPistol517]

@MrHuggah There is a muscle in your penis, so if you're lucky you might get a penis in their hand (e.g. A handjob). What is your first language?

[lamarmousse]

"Stop it Stephen, I'm already pitching a semi!"

[MrHuggah]

Can someone explain the hand muscle joke "One if you play your cards right"? English isnt my first language :S

[cipher656james]

Jo's criticism of alan is absolutely hilarious and she enjoyed it so much, and phil's laughing at it made me laugh.

[soundslave]

I feel sorry for Jo's Husband. He's the punchline in all of her jokes.

[piggy201]

Sorry to say that, but when you skip though different videos from different series, Stephen looks really pretty fat in this one...

[BloodFromTheThorn]

'With their consent?' xD <3 Alan Davies

[meestryal]

There are no three kisses in Belgium, it's always one;

[stfunoob707]

i finally get a top comment and now i regret it because as people have been correctly pointing out, he just said it was an american word not a commonly used one. so yes my bad lol

[MoonBurgle]

@stfunoob707 No worries boss, IT's just a bit of fn after all :)

[pdlbean]

I learned the thing about the thorny devil from Wild Kratts! Perks of being a nanny!

[pdlbean]

...what the fuck? Fargling? Yeah that's not a thing.

[lelandwhitehead56]

Fargling is not an american word.

[lostfanvanjellies22]

Xylophones are not made of wood, Marimbas are.

[lesterclaypool1]

@lostfanvanjellies22

Xylophone means "wooden sound".

Are you thinking of the one octave metal Xylophones that Fischer-Price makes?

[EditorNick]

@lostfanvanjellies22 Xylophones are, indeed, made of wood. A marimba is a specific "type" of xylophone.

Metallic equivalents include glockenspiels, etc.

[Shyyrn]

"I'm chooshing mwy wouds vewry caewfully heyre..."

[Georgeous129]

i would've thought the first starting move in rock, paper, scissors.....or fargling....would be to have a conversation with your mates about the best starting moves, THEN play it, like in this episode

[Skeew1]

what is it with Phil and Kestrels?

[Penniwhistle]

That's crap. My hands are fucking tiny and my feet are size 11. Got the right size wrists, though...

[BlackhartHill]

I wish I had size 13 feet. I got the genetic roll of a size 18. Almost NO store carries my size.

[aaron9099]

@BlackhartHill What the FUCK does a size 18 foot look like?

Sorry bro, but that's ridiculous lol

[RespectYourViews]

@aaron9099

the same as any foot, just longer.

[danflyer22]

I love when Phil Jupitus is on the show. He always makes Stephen blush

[Mishieftress]

I did the pencil thing XD I had no problems X'D

[TBlenx1995]

"Good... Vendor of shoes!"

[Yoeribank]

This is one of the very best QI episodes to date.

"One if you play your cards right" Priceless

[shortywiccanxxx]

Never even heard or fargling.....we say rock, paper, scissors or roshambo

[kingpharaohtsar]

surly daras saying feck witch is gaelic for throw not fuck witch is germanic for sex

[uiruu]

It's sad when -24 is the highest score

[ReeceDogg100]

The forfeit against Jo is unfair. She didn't get the chance to play R.P.S! I'm dead surprised she didn't kick off at this fact.

[misskaderzin]

hilarious episode! Thanks for uploading!

[loonatic323]

FUCK!

[chunglb]

Why is Stephen Fry so tanned?!

[TheFloat303]

@chunglb because he spends most of the year living somewhere in africa,cant remember exactly where but remember seeing it in a documentary about him.

[mchandler2112]

Phill and Alan are on fire in this episode!

[Erufailon42]

obviously, the ants beat the elephant by being numerous and biting them

[markhayes69]

@Erufailon42 Lets be fair with the numbers though, a swarm of elephants could easily trample a swarm of ants LOL!!

[slytown]

"One if you play your cards right."

[20centuryfox100]

that was the highest-stakes game of scissors-paper-stone that i've seen since primary school. which should give some indication of the kind of people that go on qi, really.

[Hjeagles]

@youweechube That's a good point

[3122tan]

That thing about the different finger lengths is absolutely true. As a girl I can tell you that. If you're a guy with nthing to worry about keep your hands in view with hot girls; more know

About it than you think. If not; don't make them obvious and use your skill instead of natural assets.

[DuTriDu]

@3122tan I wonder how long will it be before someone develops finger lengthening/shortening surgery. Maybe gloves with extensions lol.

[youweechube]

funny that EVERYONE watching this knows what the F-BLEEP word is yet they have to bleep it out everytime. Kinda makes you wonder what the point is of trying to censor it, the whole thing seems ridiculous when you think about it.

[Glarfugus]

@youweechube Perhaps if they do it enough times, you'll come to think it's innocent words that just got an unfortunate, loud noise over them by accident.

[FuneralDust666]

I wear 15's & I could not find any boots in Europe to fit my feet... Which is a same because I did find a really great pair of boots. My wife bought them in her size & flaunts me with them now & then...

[TheDominionOfElites]

Oh man, when I saw they had Jo, Dara, AND Phil, I knew it was gonna be a good one

[IvyWilliamsVC]

This episode was bloody brilliant!

[colmonhs]

Hmm. Why did'mt they mention the gay index finger thing.

[310BPM]

@colmonhs

they did, but it's not a "gay" thing, it's a testosterone thing.

[7CellarDoors]

I wish that dirty old hag would have a nice cup of Shut the fuck up.

Unfunny filthy old crone...

[310BPM]

@7CellarDoors

Jo Brand is fucking hilarious.

go back to watching your "Larry the Cable Guy" in your trailer, or whatever you do regularly.

[7CellarDoors]

@310BPM No, she is most definitely not. I live in an apartment. And Jim Carry will burn in the lowest circles of hell for what he has done, with Larry the Cable Guy being on the top of the list.

You utterly fail to appropriately judge my character, not to mention good comedy. Next time you get the bright idea to open your gaping maw by way of keyboard, don't. You'll look a lot less simple, and I wont have to bother myself with your pathetic attempts at a highbrow insult.

Good day.

[310BPM]

@7CellarDoors

Whoever said it was an attempt at a highbrow insult? lolz.

Besides, apartments are just as bad. If you don't like Jo Brand, then I judged your character correctly, however incorrect my assumptions about your living arrangements were. :)

[7CellarDoors]

@310BPM You keep believing that.

[MyFishIsTwonk]

You know its a good episode when the winner has -24 points.

[TomFynn]

@MyFishIsTwonk They really let the points run through their fingers...

[naryanr]

Jo Brand just isn't funny.

If you actually listen, almost EVERY SINGLE thing she says is either a desperately weak joke about the physical difference between men and women, a similarly weak joke about genitalia or pubic hair or excretion/urination.

There's actually no comedic genius there at all. It's true what they say about men being funnier.

[TopHatPangolin]

@naryanr Not a fan of Sandi Toksvig?

[naryanr]

@TopHatPangolin She's just got so many interesting funny stories to tell that she doesn't really need that much skill to get the laugh. She just recites the thing off.

I was just saying in another video though about Ronni Ancona, despite finding her really attractive in a really *weird* way, she's practically the only woman that I find regularly funny, and I've seen a lot of stand ups.

[DarkZholt]

@naryanr Men are funnier? Well, maybe that's why many of her jokes start "my husband " xD

[naryanr]

@DarkZholt And that's why those jokes suck as well?

[DarkZholt]

@naryanr depends on who hears it, I find them unfunny, but whatever.

Phill Jupitus was more then enough to raise the funny level

[RespectYourViews]

@naryanr

shockingly some people find those things funny. I think of them as just above fart jokes. Then again apparently people laugh at them as well.

How true indeed is the old saying: "there's no accounting for taste" (or lack thereof)

[TheLemonGrenade]

Dude I can say quack without smile

>:

[TheLemonGrenade]

Alan wears the mantle of the show's mascot dunce admirably, I must say

[Fab4Sunrises]

In case anyone else finds this tidbit Quite Interesting, I have found that some werewolf myths say that one of the markers of a werewolf is that the person's index finger is longer than their middle finger.

[stfunoob707]

fargling? i've never heard of that, we call it rock paper scissors, honestly i'm not sure where they got that

[bencolecumbria1995]

@stfunoob707 its a bit like apple and pears people from london never say that but its said to be cockney slang

[PointsofData]

@stfunoob707 I...have...never heard of "fargling" either. But then the US is a pretty big place.

[Rykerman33]

@stfunoob707 agreed..

[radar1974]

@stfunoob707 In Stephen's defense, he just said it's an American word, he didn't say it was in common use. There are plenty of words that are 'English' but are never heard. 'Eyot' for instance. It's a perfectly real word for an island in a river, but even experts would simply say 'an island' rather than say 'eyot'.

[hippybullshit]

@stfunoob707 Jenken is another word I've heard commonly used for it, but never Fargling.

[MichaelKingsfordGray]

@hippybullshit

Farnarkling:

youtube.com/watch?v=vFOImv3aTy­o

[Midnight0Mistress]

Phill Jupitus is hilarious!!

[MrBazzingah]

@Midnight0Mistress The only "hilarious" thing about Phil Jupitus is his dress sense!!

[MrNusecus]

@Midnight0Mistress I cant decide whther i like him or not, i hate people with his tendencies but i sorta like him

[gyrrakavian]

European 13 is bad? Try USA 9.5 6E 

[gyrrakavian]

So what's it mean when finger 4 is longer than finger 2?

[mctrikster]

Jo Brand is absolutely glorious

[Marbles278]

@spoony2795 I don't think so! Maybe Bill Bailey/Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Andy Thompson

[CrissCross407]

39:54 Alan wondering why the alarm didn't go off lol

[spoony2795]

Best Panel: Sean Lock, Johnny Vegas & Rob Bryant

[Josbakerful]

Fry has it wrong, it's 1 kiss in Belgium.

[dsherstonbaker]

is it just me or does phil look more like david dickinson?

[mrhenk007]

every QI without lee mack is awesome, with him its quite interesting.

[Thr33PatchProblem]

XD "You make Richard Dawkins look like a f@cking Buddhist."

[BrotherAlpha]

Do not watch this show while drinking!

[llkdll]

hahaha thatcher's face!!

[SpanishScion]

I've been to Luray Caverns... the playlist is less than inspiring.

[BeautifulGoodbye13]

Dara really looks like the guy from 'Despicable Me'...

[albertusj]

Phil is such a clown....awesome!

[RoninSatyr]

One of the funniest episodes yet!

[theduderwiggysan]

38:11 Another classic chat up line from PJ.

[theduderwiggysan]

6:01 Classic line from PJ " Ball gag " !!!

[antbarton]

Thank you!!

[eltonjesus69]

you sir are a great man/woman...

[ezrego]

Thanks for this !