Added: 4 years ago
From: evan520
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  • George is a god xD

  • Hey he is absolutly right, i talk to my frig everyday, so Alzheimer has come to town, HEY ARE WE STUPIDE ??? LOL, I think of his jokes alot......

  • Hang on, are there more than one video recording of the Jammin' in New York show?

    Look at this:

    watch?v=y4M1nDC1ZlQ

    The same piece, but there are noticeable - small and large, but noticeable differences in how he delivers the same material.

  • He's definitely a connector, mavern and salesman all put in together. You'll know what i mean if you read TIPPING POINT. =)

  • I've sneezed while pissing! It's not physically impossible. But it still makes me LOL.

  • Im pretty much peeing right now

  • I do this all the time

  • "Where?! HERE!?"

  • I love the pillow story!! so true :)

  • i don't get the chain link fence part at all... i don't think that's ever happened to me. can anyone here explain that one?

  • @YaBoyChrisH the stereo effect. for example, take a piece of checked paper, put it in front of you and try to unfocus as if you were trying to look through the paper. the lines on the paper are going to appear double. then you try to make them concide with one another somehow, but eyes still unfocused.

    if you do, it'll seem to you, that the paper is farther/nearer than it really is. This thing can happen accidentally when you are looking on smth with a regular ornament like the chain link fence.

  • holy shit, today i actually went to one of my rooms, and i didnt know why i went in there! hahaha true story, too! :D

  • I've sneezed while peeing. I didn't blow my butthole out. Even so, STOP PEEING! Is f***ing hilarious. XD

  • I loved his Thomas and Friends narrations. He didn't deserve to die. He was a great person.

  • @topotoonoon you fucking thomas fans don't realize he was famous for other reasons than thomas the fucking train

  • STOP PISSING!! WE'RE GOING TO SNEEZE NOW!!!

  • yes i have walked into a room and then forgot why I came in and two words came into my mind....."too stoned".

  • Have you ever sat down to take shit, without realizing that the toilet seat was up? Then you have to clean your ass off because you sat in toilet water!!!!!!

  • 356,000th viewer! WHOO!

  • usually when i listen to stand up i chuckle but that's about it, right now i just about pissed my self, laughing so hard. thankfully i didn't have the urge to sneeze.

  • people laugh because its all true and happened to everyone :D

  • Have you ever texted a long-ass text message and the only reply you get is "OK?

    Have you ever closed your eyes 10 minutes in your bed at 6:00, and it's 7:35; and when you close your eyes 5 minutes at school at 1:30 is 1:30?

    Have you ever wanted to bust a cap in your computer because of YouTube's 30 seconds-ads?

    Have you ever texted a message at class when your teacher is writing on the Blackboard?

    Have you ever dumped your date because you were playing Call of Duty?

  • fucking funny!!!!

  • Holy shit that was funny!

  • I wish I was able to meet him before he passed. Definitely an amazing comic

  • Sarcasm at itz best with somethings we ALL can relate with, LMAO!

  • @bretskigretzky *infarction. Lolol.

  • 4:40 had me laughing so hard...

  • @bretskigretzky gtfo

  • Why did he have to die?­

  • STOP PISSING!! LMAO! Why did he have to die, So much talent.

  • RIPPPP -- U DA FUCKING MAN GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Comment removed

  • The bravest and original Comedian of all time.. I love George Carlin....Now it seems That 20 People have the 3rd Stage of Syphillis....LMAO

  • Gotta love good ol' George... wish he didn't die.

  • This is just a masterpiece. So fucking true and funny. What a legend.

  • is he in the ministry of silly walks? (Monty Python reference for you uncultured folks)

  • All things must pass. It's a nice luxury to be able to leave behind good works like this. Just a a day well spent brings happy sleep, a life well spent brigs happy death. I MISS HIM TOO. But he is still with me.

  • oh man, why did he die? I'm sitting here laughing the hell outta my lungs! it's so sad that there won't be any new stuff of this guy

  • Just about everything that he says has oddlly happened to me!!!

  • LIES, george lied! i sneezed while i was pissing just today!

  • @BringerOfD Hows your asshole doing?

    

  • @Camron932 Fine, it just increases your flow when you sneeze

  • @BringerOfD hes right if you sneeze when you pee the pee will shoot out in one big clump. it dosent increase the flow after the snezze the rate of pee flow goes back to regular rate.

  • @BringerOfD fine, it just increases your flow when you sneeze.

  • i laughed so hard

  • fukin ey,hear this out ,last fukin saturday,i took a long ,long afternoon nap, when i woke up,i thought it was monday ,and was getting ready to go to work,my wife goes ,what are you doing,i answered ,getting ready for work,she responce ,its 10.45 at night and its saturdsay,fuck ,i starded cracking up big time,so we ended up going clubing,cheers jejejeje :0

  • You've ever seen a performance of George Carlin... and couldnt help to laugh your ass off?

  • 19 people just found out they aren't super strong.

  • i just cried from laughing so hard.

  • what day is it? why is my pillow on the ceiling?! why is the chain-link fence moving?! WHY WON'T MY WATCH TELL ME WHAT Time IT IS?!

  • why the fuck am i in the basement?

  • 'cause your brain knows... YOU JUST MIGHT BLOW YOUR ASSHOLE OUT!!

  • I swear I go through all this stuff everyday of my life. lol

  • the two train thing is true but to my teacher is different.... oh yeah the field trip bus parked and another 1 parked next to us and the other 1 moves my teacher freaks out cus there was no driver XD

  • - Did u ever fall asleep on a late afternoon and wake up after dark and you don't know what goddamn day it is?

    LOL-yes, just yesterday...i didn't even know where i was at first :))

  • Why DID HE DIE WHYYYYY

  • @nycpd75 he died of old age. for a average irish american dieing at this age is very common. but im not irish im appalacian last time my ansestors come from either of british isles was 1700's. my people always live longer then natural life exspectancy. my irish-american cultural cousins have short life spans but they still can contribute greatly to society and become philosphers like george carlin. or help build the brooklyn bridge. but my appalachian ethnic group has not had much acomplishments

  • @nycpd75 government didnt want him sticking around any longer, he started convincing people

  • @youareme888

    hahahaha I was actually thinking the same :D fuck that's not funny... government will kill anyone that tries to convince the people... I wonder whether he died because of age or not

  • @youareme888 cool story bro!

  • @youareme888 he did this really god awfull thing called THINKING!!!!!!

  • Convincing? He’s an apathetic, selfish, nihilistic asshole who thinks of life as “Herpaderpa, why should we give a fuck about it?”. If anything the government would be pleased to have people like him around who tell you to keep vegetating.

    Can you remember one time where Carlin told his audiences to move their fat lardasses and take action? No? That’s because this is not his message. He tells you to stop caring and to “enjoy the ride” since eventually you will vanish anyway. Stupid prick.

  • @MoaiMaea

    If that's what you think then you're a complete idiot. Carlin was an observer, a spectator, just telling it like it is. And that's what comedy is, observe your surroundings and speaking about it. Since when was comedy supposed to be political? It's not always about finding solutions. If the audience wants to take action on their own then that's up to them, not the comedian.

  • You do realize that I replied to another user, yes? Makes you look kind of retarded seeing as your rant completely missed the point of the ongoing conversation.

  • @MoaiMaea

    I've read the whole conversation and I don't see how I missed the point. Carlin still convinced many people, yet you think he tried telling others not to give a shit. You missed the point of Carlin's standups and the whole concept of this brand of comedy in general. I'm certainly not the retarded one here.

  • "Carlin still convinced many people"

    Do you have any sources that could back up that claim or are you just resorting to making shit up?

  • @MoaiMaea

    All you have to do is either scroll through the comments here on YouTube, the articles, blogs, and forums throughout the web, newspaper clippings of him, those who attended his shows, and the interviews with all the numerous people who knew him personally to find out how much he convinced others the past 30 years. Of course you won't do that, considering you were the one making shit up with that ignorant idiotic response of yours.

  • Oh, people have written how much they appreciate them? That’s great! Look at all that has changed because of that! Surely all those blog posts and whatnot is why the government didn’t “want him sticking around any longer”, right? Why are you supporting this tin foil hatter anyway?

  • @MoaiMaea

    Like I said, he was a comedian, an entertainer. That's his job. He made people realize things he observed and put them into comedic context, some serious and some not. Just because the world didn't change overnight means he was irrelevant? Why are you trying to make him into something he wasn't? Should you even be in this discussion?

  • Dude, I am not the one who tried “to make him into something he wasn't”, youareme888 is. That’s why I commented in the first place.

  • @youareme888 YEAH THE ILLUMINATI KILLED HIM MAN JUST LIKE THEY KILLED M.J. AND FUCKED PARIS HILTON

  • @youareme888 or maybe it's cause he was almost 80 years old

  • @dubydahsmils He was 71.

  • @3timeMVPNash thats almost 80

  • @youareme888 uhmm... HE WAS 92 or w/e LOL

    BILL HICKS, on the other hand, DIED 7 YEARS BEFORE HIS TIME; empirically & scientifically proven ;p

  • @UnseenAdict420 he was 71 ...get your facts straight.

  • @youareme888 OR he got old.

  • @youareme888 coll story bro

  • @leafninja208 cool story bro, get your grammar right

  • @youareme888 at least I'm not an idiot for thinking George Carlin was killed by the government.

  • @nycpd75 Well ... what with all these phony religious people about ... I think God needed a few laughs.

  • @nycpd75

    he was old, is that a good enough reason?

  • @nycpd75 q.q

  • @nycpd75

    He was born 1937, he had a long life. :)

  • @nycpd75 we all die! good thing is we all go somewhere after we die.

  • @nycpd75 Age i guessss

  • @nycpd75 Conservatives paid them off. Yep, we're pretty fucked now.

  • Because you touch yourself at night.

  • @nycpd75 : he was fortunate enough to live long enough. lots of people dont get that chance.

  • @nycpd75 Probably old age

  • Lol the singing is so true! And embarrassing

  • Lmao booyee i miss this man. Everything he said was true.. Him and richard pryor was the legends in comedy. Then u have redd foxx, bernie mac, robin harris ugh dam why the good was had to leave i guess god needed a laff house in heaven so he picked these fellas. R.i.P george

  • COMMON EXPERIENCE... so im watching tv with the volume on 20....i am used to it...i turn it down to 10.. i get used to that...i turn it up to 20 again and ITS SO FUCKING LOUD I CANT BELIEVE I WAS ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT!

  • 5:19 i hate it when that happens to me lol

  • the walkin different on a date thing that was funny lmao, i had that the other night when i was walking to the shops with my gf and i had to walk at a different pace than im used to lol

  • The man is an ARTIST

  • damn, pretty much all of this has happened to me ... even the pillow thing.

  • Ever noticed how some youtube videos are quiet as shit so you turn it up, then get scared shitless when the next video is turbo boosted volume?

  • @lolomg69aids It's worse with TV... How hard is it to equalize the damn volumes?

  • @Samail666 i know hahaha, worst when you're watching TV at night and not trying to wake someone up

  • "Cause your brain knows, You might blow your asshole out."

    Yeah, that pretty much sums up everything

  • 0:50-1:08 : That's me O.O And I'm only 22 D: I can't have Alzheimer's D:::

  • 19 people believe there's a song called "what does she think I am, some kind of putz?"

  • 19 people had there assholes blown out...

  • Hey George, didja ever have to do #1 and #2 at the same time? It's a pretty fucked up experience.

  • @BigOrangeTitan You do realize George died in 2008 right?

  • @theyhavepeabrains Yes I sure do. 

  • bad idea: never eat a bagel while listening to george carlin... you will choke

  • Love this! 

  • STOP PISSING !

  • I fuckin' love the look on his face when he says Altzheimers' Disease at 1:06. xDDDDDD

  • i couldnt stop laughing at the end

  • KI don't understand how someone can not like this. I just don't understand. What is there to dislike? The man is listing all things we've ALL done in our lives. Jesus...WHAT IS THERE TO UNLIKE!!!!!!!!!!??????????

  • i sneeze while i piss and it is resolting in piss the the toilet seat

  • @torso99 onece happened to me, wasn't only on toilet seat. it was FUCKIN' EVERYWHERE!

  • 0:52 at the end of that line he sounds like Heath Ledger.

  • George-as always, brilliant.

  • 19 people sneezed while they were taking a piss, and blew their assholes out!

  • I've sneezed while pissing many times. The piss goes REAAAAAL fast and is near uncontrollable. You'll likely piss on the wall or ceiling.

  • Every single thing he mentions in this video is my life in a nutshell

  • So funny! How does he make those sounds- like with the empty suitcase? He's the funniest comidian!

  • I don't understand the chain-link fence thing her refers to a few times.

  • @szqsk8 its the same concept as the 3d picture you have to cross your eyes to see

  • the mystery of the moving pillow!

  • This era is his most energetic time, more sophisticated than the older times.

  • Did you ever wonder how you can instantly remember a commercial from 10+ years ago but can't remember what you were going to do when you get up off the couch?

  • Someone explain the chainlink fence thing to me. I seriously don't get it.

  • @DrSuperMarioMan6464 Sometimes while looking at a fence while not really concentrating at it, it seems to almost pop out like a 3D movie effect. Try it yourself, it's not that hard.

  • @gordonfreemannr2 oh cool thanks!

  • @DrSuperMarioMan6464 Of course, it has to be the mentioned "chain-link fence" :P

  • Carlin: god of truth

  • @ScatmanKirby U mean the JOE PESCI of truth!

  • I did the stair thing lol

    you do feel retarded for some reason xD

  • do not try to watch these videos when you are in the quiet section of a library!

  • ever thought that your alarm clock was an annnoing sound in your dream? :D

  • It's called getting senile you old fuck.

  • @gremlin05 that senile man was one of the greatest to live.

  • Ever walked into something in public while looking at a squirrel pick up a nut?

  • I once knew a man who sneezed while pissing. Blew his asshole clear out of his body, poor fella.

  • This is simply amaizing... :)

  • "What are we? Fuckin' stupid?!?!"

  • @MrGofman yes. we all are

  • 18 people have 3rd stage syphilis

  • @pokemoneinstein and your one of them XD

  • @pokemoneinstein 3rd stage "OF" syphilis. not 3rd stage syphilis

  • @BananasAndSemen Nope, mister fake grammar nazi, its what he says.

  • @BananasAndSemen One has 3rd stage syphilis, one is in the third stage of syphilis. The other guy is right, genius.

  • @pokemoneinstein

    19 now.

  • @pokemoneinstein Someone else has recently caught syphilis.

  • I love how georgee carlin is makin fun of people by sayin stupid shit we do

  • I walk like this..its the third stage of siphilis lmaoooooo :)

  • STOP PISSING WERE GOING TO SNEZZ NOW...ROFL that is so trueive actually tried that

  • You might blow your asshole out!

  • #1 FAvorite comedian!!!! LONG LIVE GEORGE CARLIN! <3

  • @kissesnguns124 He's dead D:

  • Wonderful observational comedy

  • Holy shit! My hips are in my chest! D:

  • I honestly never laughed so hard in my life. The best.

  • Hes just right! 'Joey, how are you?' Hahah XD

  • what time is it, hell i dont know

  • OMG i fell asleep a few days ago at like five, then woke up at midnight. then i didnt know what day is was!!! holy shit im not alone!!!

  • as I listened to this, I looked at my clock...it's 0:03 here, THURSDAY :D

  • This made me laugh so hard that I cried and Davey had to come see what I was crying about.

  • @angiegirlie Fascinating, seems like this is a common experience.

    /No pun intended.

    It would be very interesting to investigate why everyone to whom I've shown this video has cried, not just due to joy... but afterwards or consequently due to something sad.

  • I LOVE GEORGE CARLIN!!! IM 14 AND LOVE GEORGE CARLIN. HE IS THE BEST COMEDIAN EVER!!!!!!

  • @kissesnguns124 is your age necessary?

    its like saying im 16 and i love waffles

  • @Smackenzieth haha i was thinkin the same shit, why the fuck do they have to mention their fuckin age? nobody gives a fuck

  • @kissesnguns124 Your age doesn't matter young cunt.

  • George Carlin - Senility is more like it.

  • Even worst is when you enter a room and not only you forget why you went in there but you even forget that you went there for some reason.So you do something totaly not relevant,like drinking a glass of water if the this room is the kitchen,and then you return to your initial spot only to realise a few minutes later that the reason left erlier was not to drink water.

  • Every cut, scrape, scratch, scar, scab, bruise, boil, bump, pimple, zit, wart, welt, and abscess you've had since birth all seem to come back at the same time. and all you can think of is "I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!"

  • pillow thing happens because when yur head is sideways, one eye is higher than the other...