Actually, this question isn't anything like a straight guy asking his girlfriend if she likes it up her ass or her pussy. Regardless of what hole she takes it up, she is STILL the one getting fucked. Maybe if he asked her if she wanted his dick in her hole.....or if she'd prefer straping on a dildo and shoving it up his ass - THAT would be a simliar question. This question is relevant for gay men as it isn't like straight sex in that regard.
i totally agree with what is being said. The quetion, "top or bottom?" primairly serves two functions: 1. To actually find out, top or bottom 2. If the person is down to fuck. The dude was just looking to hook up. If you truly love someone, than sex should be sex, and meaninful regardless of the positions, it should just be compatable because of who its with. But he was probably just seeing if you were interested by if you were gonna answer him or not.
Well, it actually is an important question. It would be really sad to fall for someone and then find out that you're not compatible. But, asking in that format, I agree, is not good. If you just met him ten seconds ago, then he was just trying to get some. Asking later on is totally understandable. I've asked it to my boyfriends.
My best friend is gay(Im bi) but a guy asked him that question and he didnt even know my friend. My friend after having not very nice words to each other punched the guy. So I think you are totally not blowing it out of porportion.
To me he is asking about hooking up with you. obhviously your at a gay bar so it is in the subject of his asking. Maybe he wasnted to see if he can get with you later. Just my opinion
I tend to believe its about establishing compatibility before investing time in trying to foster a relationship that would ultimately be unsuccessful due to being unable to have intimate relations, that every couple needs.
I totally agree with your comparison of asking somebody if they're a top or bottom to if they like it in the pussy or in the butt... especially if I wasn't in the mood for anything sexual. However, whenever I'm in a slutty mood, I could care less if somebody asked me that. If I was flirting with somebody in a slutty way then I feel like I'm just asking for that question. If I'm just trying to have a non-sexual conversation with somebody then I wouldn't like to ba asked that question.
I agree with you, the way I see it is that if you are gay you will be open to experience everything. If anyone ever asks me that question I always say I am neither.
Soooo are you a top or a bottom? lol Actually that's like the number one question on Craigslist. Yeah I don't like the question either as it's way too personal way too early on. But if the guy is really hot hey he can ask me anything as long as he asks me home.
i think its perfectly reasonable to ask this...i'm a power bottom....and i think it would be extremely awkward if we got around to sex and he wanted something i was uncomfortable giving him:-/
Straight guys don't need to ask. Nobody would ask right away if the girl likes anal, because it's a different thing, completely.
When I met my current boyfriend, we talked about it after a couple of weeks. It wasn't sleazy or just trying out to get sex, it was just stating facts. If both guys don't like getting taken, or both guys only liked getting taken, then it wouldn't go far. It's just asking where we both feel more comfortable.
When a guy ask me direct that question I assume he's 100% bottom, even inactive, the kind of guy who want to lay on a bed and be f^ck, he doesn't want making love with ME, he thinks about himself as an hole,and me as a d:ck: he hasn't any interest in sex,just penetration...
I don't judge but there is nothing less exiting for me; I prefer have to "fight" a little for reaching my goal, and by the way the few times I run into another only top guy we have good sex even without penetration.
Yes, you are blowing this out of proportion. It all comes down to practicality, and a real world scenario. Which is better? To meet someone, develop feelings for them, spend a great deal of time getting to know them, love them, need them, only to find out at that point you are not compatible (and let's be real, a relationship without sex is just a friendship) OR to gain this information upfront so you can have a good idea of where things may or may not lead, without emotional investment.
I think it's naive to pretend love overrules the practical need to know if you are sexually compatible with another guy. And the analogy of asking a woman if she likes it up the ass or the pussy is a flawed one because women can be only bottoms whereas gay men can be either tops or bottoms.
@1:46-1:52 = absolute & undeniable evidence of bottomness.... & if you add the whole drama on top of it (*pun intended*) it just makes the point even more clear..
I was in a relationship for a while and we did not ask the question and it did become a problem because he thought I was a top and I thought he was. Just saying I wish I had asked the question early on (but maybe not the first date!)
I think it's an important question......did you consider maybe he's looking for a LTR and if he's a strict top and so are you.....in general.....that relationship isn't going to work out :( Relationships r hard enough as they r but going on several dates & maybe just making out once in awhile & developing feelings for each other is fantastic & then the bomb gets dropped when you're all hot & bothered & ready to hop in the sack & suddenly you find out your both tops or both bottoms (sad day)!
The question doesn't bother me that much, but I do agree that when you first meet someone, for that to be one of the questions, is a little off-putting and sleezy. I'm pretty open about what I am, but sometimes, especially if you really want to get to know someone, it shouldn't even be up for discussion at first.
Having been active sexually since 1973, my experience has shown that (a) most guys are versitile and (b) anal intercourse used to be something special, but is now expected nearly all the time. Guess it's connected somehow to all the expectations created by the vast amount of porn available: staged and edited sex being portrayed as "real" and as the "norm". So yeah, the question top or bottom on a first encounter would upset me too, but largely through disappointment rather than annoyance!
I think u blew that up a bit. He was hitting on you. if h'e s a dominant top in bed and ur a top, it can get awkward. Truth is (though not fem really), I like guys that take charge. I like for them to lead the way. Obviously I'm a bottom. Still, I am usually accurate on who I talk to. If I spoke to you, I wouldn't be sure. Not really. Maybe to him bottoms are usually more submissive. He was probably a top and wanted to know if he should, sort of, lead the way.
@ dk683. Fully agree with you. Whether you're a top/bottom/versatile is a personal preference and generally shouldn't be asked about when you're just meeting someone. I do like knowing what my partner's preference is, but you find that out later after/while you date them
yes, it's a good question! If you are a top--and I am a top--sorry that aint gonna happen--so my guess you are a bottom or at least willing to try--now that's my take on your overall take on the situation. Tops are a lot smarter they want to know where they stand from the get go--bottoms are different.
no, you are NOT blowing this out of proportion, I agree with you 100% it is such an awkward question to be asked when you just meet someone. it's just gross.
I think it is a semi-relevant question since we, as a gay society, do have different sexual behaviors than heteros. Some adhere quite strongly to one position and if you find that you are not sexually compatible it can be unfortunate. It is very telling though when that is a basic introductory question as to what the guy is ultimately interested in. For fostering a relationship of any kind (friendship or dating) the personality is a bit more important than position.
I agree with you 100%!!! i hate that question personally too. to me its a great indication to weather the guy is just looking for one thing and one thing only.
I think its a question that your open to answering if you flirting at a bar. It could be a little annoying if that came up somewhere else but your kinda asking for it in that situation.
I don't think it's a big deal question but I do agree to ask it on some of the first, second, third dates is WAY too forward, it means all I am is a sex toy to you. I've been asked at clubs and concerts and usually say (if that's one of the first questions) "Since I won't be with you, does it matter?" =)
That question is great, I think it's important to know, and that it's asked at the appropriate time. When is it appropriate? When having sex becomes a desire and you both want to know if that is a match. For those slutty men that question is in the forefront. For those looking for love don't ask that question for a while longer. But again they ask it when they have the desire to have sex and it matters.
No sense in dating if in the long run there wont be sexual chemistry. No to be a pig but that's a big part of a healthy lasting relationship. Maybe it doesn't need yo be asked so early but in a social setting like a club your pressed for time.
I don't think this is a big deal. Sexual chemistry is apparently important...so knowing which you prefer would help them know if they could enjoy sex with you.
Well, while I appreciate your POV, Couver, you have to take the context of the situation into account: *you were talking to a bartender/person in a BAR*... That *isn't* really the "looking for something deeper" kind of place: most people are there to either just hang/have fun, or to hook-up. I get where you're coming from, in the broader sense (if a person asked you that out of the blue, I'd be offended, too), but in terms of the setting/the person asking in your story, you're overreacting..
I always think it is really funny when someone says, "oh you don't look gay". Exactly what are they expecting someone to look like! As for top/bottom/sideways on your head, who cares. It's similar to the straight world, people are either after sex or a relationship. That bar man sounds like a right slag who would go with anything and everything. Two people with similar preferences are often quite compatible as relationships are not always about what happens in the bedroom or garden shed!!!
Good job on quitting...I smoked for 12yrs and quit cold turkey. Been smoke free for 430 days now, quit after the worse Tequila hangover known to man. 16 shots of tequila and hot sauce. I should market it as a stop smoking aid. And to ask somebody that question is extremely tacky. The fact he even asked that shows he's been ridden harder then seabiscuit at the Kentucky Derby.
The older I get the more I think this question is irrelevant. I've had long term relationships with people and it didn't matter if we were both tops or bottoms. If the chemistry is genuine, you find other ways to express those feelings
You're not making an issue out of nothing...I think that it's the most "turn off" of all questions at the begining of a relationship or upon meeting someone. Shouldn't the question be "What was your life like growing up" or "So what things do you like to do, like hobbies or..." . I think that getting to know someone and seeing if you are compatible with each other's life styles may be a better start than trying to figure out sexually what's going to happen down the line.
@KBallelli I love you a little more each time you speak, broski. Jesus loves you all (Even the homophobic haters...) and so do I! And bravo to you Couver87 for being a boss!
It doesn't really bother me because my answer is usually...oh really,you asked that. because that is NOT what I'm all about. and the conversation abruptly ends most of the time
It is a very practical question. I mean if you are really looking to get it plowed and you wind up with someone who has no interest in their own erection, it is going to be a very long or very short evening depending on your transportation situation. Read personal ads. People are very specific about what the are looking for. If you are a blue eyed blond, it is nice to know that your target is only into black guys sooner than later. If it has to be 9 and you only have 8 3/4 better find out now.
Definitely blowing it out of proportion. It's not only a way to quickly and easily communicate one's basic sexual proclivities, but is also language that defies the hetero-normative expectations placed on homosexual men. Aside from that, you've always got the option of saying that you're vers(atile).
It sounds more like you're annoyed at being asked that question so early into meeting someone, which is fair.
men fuck, women get fucked, so many people wanna know who's the "men" and who's the "woman"... it's really very stupid, honestly i think that if you're gay, you have to be prepared to be both, i had a boyfriend sometime and he only wanted to be the top one, anyway, you're totally right, it's something to discuss on bed.
Interesting! Very Interesting!!!!!!!! Gay is sexuality is it not? This is interesting that gays think this is faux pas to ask yet they want everyone to know they are homo"SEXUAL". and gay sexual.
@benisturning30 that is why people say gay and straight, they are EUPHEMISMS for homosexual and heterosexual. homosexual and heterosexual are just words that describe what sex you are attracted to. If you were a heterosexual man you'd probably need to know whether the girl you're about to ask out was a heterosexual as well.. its much different than being a gay guy and having another gay guy ask you how you like to have sex..
@oishitomoro it shouldn't even be compared to heterosexuality. It is not the same.
If a person does flaunt his or her sexuality, then he or she deserves to be treated in the manner in which they carry themselves. That is all I'm saying.
yep blowing it out of proportion.. if u r one or the other u don't wanna hookup with somebody u aren't compatible with and if u r versatile the other guy might wanna know that if he isn't..if all he had in mind was a hookup then it's a question that is important .. but if u want love then I think it is more disappointing than offensive
I agree with you but what I'd like to comment is that you said "If I was a man". You ARE a man. Being gay doesn't mean that you're not a man. What you shoud've said is "If I was heterosexual". This kind of speech just perpetuates the miss concept about gays not being masculine enough to be men.
Yeah I kinda see your point, but then again men are pretty upfront about sex. Which is one of the things I've always liked about being gay. Seems like you're at that point where you're still figuring out who you are and how that relates to your sexual identity. Don't let one line blow you out of the water. And don't expect to much subtly from a bartender at a gay bar. In fact don't expect much from bars in general.In fact take everything with a grain of..vaseline, I mean salt.
Hate the whole role thing! It doesn't matter if he's a top or a bottom or versatile (wink) it doesn't matter if you love him or Capitol H.I.M lmao!!!! I had to.... Anyways gays get to caught up in roles! Annoying , but such is the way of the world.... I will take romance anyway ^_^
I don't mind if someone asks, while I tend to be a uke (bottom) I normally say 'There depends on my partner and his desires'. I'm open about it even with straight people, just yesterday one of the boy in my school thought it would be fuuny to joke "You're getting too close behind me." (I was walking to the stairs to go to class, the he was standing in the middle of the stairs, blocking them) I just replied "Please I'm a uke" and walked on.
Yea Ive been asked the same thing too and I hate that the only thing the gay community can think about is SEX... I mean what happened to love? lol. Specially the younger gays....
Sorry men are a different animals then women. It a way to break the ice about sex do to not all gay guy like it up the ass some can live with out it. It helps as much as it hurts yeah gay (male) relationship are sexual but so are guys. Love, romance, courtship, and all the stuff that makes relationship so good is very hard to find. Gay bar and other such place are seen as hook up places. This is one reason I been single most of my life. I wish you more luck then I.
I agree. It is stupid. You should with someone for love. I like you dude. You speak the truth. I mean get to know someone ja but that question you don't really need to ask right off the bat. Just go with the flow. Oh you are cute by the way. :-).
I think you're maybe blowing it out of proportion, but I don't think that it's a big deal. I mean, yeah, it usually just means that it's a kinda "Let's fuck," thing, but also, you have to admit that it'd suck if you dated a guy for like four months, and finally wanted to have sex, and then you guys are right there, on the spot, and you're both tops. (I use this, because it's easier to get someone who's a bottom to top than the other way around) I'm not offended by it, just because I'm used to it
I think that it is unnecessary to ask that question upon the first time meeting another gay man, I think that people who ask this question are the ones who create the negative implications on the gay culture as a whole
I think is true it's a little anyone, but in your situation what I can see is the he was a Bartender trying to hook up with you and he wants to know if you are going to be able to fuck him or you are going to let him to fuck you or what it's going to happen and I'm agree, can be a stupid question depends on the situation, but in your case seems like he ask the right question for his needs; so don't take it too personal. I want to know what happened? What did say? Details Girl!!
I personally would say that it depends on the context of the question in the conversation...for example what you explained was offensive, and would have offended me...now if you were on a first date with someone and doing the whole gently put your feet in the water and test it getting to know you thing...and your date asks...that to me is not offensive, forward, but not offensive...he's just trying to see where the bedroom roles would be placed...
i guess it doenst bother me, i am guilty of asking it too. But I only ask it if I am looking to hookup cuz youre right about it being that I dont care about the person then, and it makes it easier to weed out the other bottoms and find a match quicker. not sure that the guy/girl analogy works cuz the girl is always input only. she is always getting penetrated, regardless of the hole. Some tops dont like their asshole penetrated, so its good to know upfront. Imo.
i agree and disagree... i prefer to use the words dominant and passive... because im wanting to describe my (or the other persons) personality... cause even then... i still like to... i guess we could say experiment... and so if i say dominant or passive its is much more open then top or bottom
i don't hate that question, but it surely makes me see the kind of person that they are. It's obvious that when they ask you that right away is because they want to know if they can have a relationship based on sex and not on a serious relationship.
I have wondered if being a top or bottom has a stereotype attached to it when it comes to a person's masculinity (or lack thereof). I've never been more than mildly offended by it. However, I don't like it when it's the first question "out of the box." And, I don't think you're blowing it out of proportion, at all. Thanks for making me think a little deeper on this because it's a very valid point. This is the first video of yours that I've seen; but, I'm going to check out more of them.
I don't mind the top or bottom question that much. What I do hate is when someone says, "So are you the guy or the girl in a relationship?" We're both f@#%ing guys!
i think its a question that theres just no right way to answer it either someone might or might not be asking it with the right intentions or someone else might or might not take it the wrong way off the bat. but for me its a question that needs to be asked because im a bottom and plan to stay that way why would i try to be with someone that they might wanna bottom one day, would it cause a problem if i dont want to top. this is the situation im trying to avoid altogether just if they ask you
I'm neither a top nor a bottom, too, and I don't care about these particular labels, but I'm curious about the femme/butch label because I like mannish women. I'm a bisexual guy.
I think that it is an OK question if it is a compatibility question, but if it is someone just trying to be nosy or trashy then yes it offends me. I think in a gay bar setting it is a compatiblity question, because there are guys out there that are only into one position, and then there are the guys that are vesatile. I don't think that one is better than the other like some of the comments that versatile is the only way to go. That is the only way to go for them.
If the answer to that question is important than you're not the man for me. Why? You can't be a good TOP without being a good BOTTOM. Versitale is the only way to be. The best part of building passion in bed it a good "fight for the fuck". Hopefully for a flipflop. If you only do one thing, i'll bet borded.
For me, it all depends on the person. If it's a friend that asks, I'm usually comfortable saying. If a random stranger asks, it's a bit annoying. Though, since coming out, etc. I've gotten more comfortable about my "position" so I was embarrassed to say anything about it (all my bottoms, holla! LOL). I just think it depends on the person being asked.
I don't think that a bartender in Phoenix (my hometown...was it at Charlies?) should be asking you that question, but it is an okay question to ask others. Personally, I am a top because that is what I enjoy and I find being a bottom very uncomfortable and painful. It would be foolish for me to go out with another top who wanted to fuck me; plus it could potentially get violent. Also, bottoms wouldn't want to be with other bottoms. Not everyone is versatile.
Here's the facts. I'm vers.. so ya I top and I bottom. As for everyone else.. does two tops work?? does two bottoms work?? and really does one top one vers.. or bottom vers work?? I've dated tops and bottoms and I always felt a building urge to switch it up.. to the point where a guy I was dating for 3yrs who started out vers went all top to well asexual.. (masturbation) to say the least I got frustrated so ya its important to know.. but like someone else said be a gentleman, its in the timeing
wow, the 2 top comments actually kinda sum up how i feel, roughly.
I agree that its annoying for that to be something that gets brought up in the first day or two after you've met someone, but its something that definitely can't be put off talking about for too long. i don't know about that whole "stab at your sexuality" sort of thing, but i definitely agree that it can be insanely impersonal and inappropriate if brought up super early on
I once dated a guy for about a month before opening up a serious dialogue about sexual history. Now, I like to bottom, don't take this the wrong way, but he told me I'd never be able to top him because it hurt him too much. I wouldn't even get any on the weekends - not even on my B-day. I can't live my life never getting any! I'm a guy! So I do think its an important question. I say by 3 weeks in you need to sort all this out. I also had one guy tell me he had HIV at about 3 weeks in, so... ya.
I find it important to know at least early on when meeting someone. Not as the first thing they ask but still dont want to waste months dating someone if its not going to ork. I have dated someone for 5 months just to find we where incompatible in that way and as such the relationship didnt last.
If you're just looking for sex, it's important to know. If you're looking for a serious relationship, it's important to know. My last boyfriend was a bottom, and I'm a bottom, and sex just didn't happen, so we broke it off. I expect to see those kinds of things online, where it's easier to post info and and thus you don't have to meet people you don't feel compatible with, but in real life I'd rather not know that info, because if we don't mesh sexually, I can still hopefully have a new friend.
i am 100% with you on this i hate it, dose it really matter. I dont really care, if i like you i like you and you being a bottom or a top is not going to change that
God I agree so much with you. Does it fucken matter if I am a bottom or a top. So many times guys just want sex sex sex and its like listen can't we build something here.....im not a whore and I dont wanna fuck u and then bounce. Being someone that is trying to come out and be apart of the community I keep wanna to pull my hair out by how many men just want sex. I want a fricken relationship, I wanna hold hands and cuddle, I wanna be apart of your life and you mine.....is that so fucken hard.
When asked that question, I tell them I am sideways. Why be locked into just one position. I think some guys ask that question so they won't be wasting time with someone that is the same way.( top and top, or bottom and bottom) Wait................maybe I have hit on something. Think about it: doesn't it look like we do to ourselves (Gay Men) what straight people do to us?(Why would you be into another guy?)
If you are asked that question it's because the person isn't interested in who you are, they find you sexually attractive and don't want anything more than a quick fuck or two.
I find it pointless to be upset about someone asking this because you obviously just have different wants for each other, which should be respected and then move on.
I see the question as irrelevant to, striking up a friendship. If one is trying to hook up, and is only interested in one position, it becomes extremely relevant. Additionally, if one is looking for a relationship and is only comfortable in one role, it becomes a compatibility issue. No one wants to date for months to find out that they're not compatible, and this is an issue that can be addressed early. I only find the question offensive when it's the first thing to come out of someone's mouth.
@dannyboi111982 I completely agree, I mean for medical reasons I can only be one of those positions, so dating for months just to find out we aren't compatible is annoying.
@cucumberzr4chumpz That's a prime example. It even trumps mine which is based on preference. But I put the question in the category of important questions such as HIV status, sexual role, relationship or screwing, etc. I think everyone wants to know what they're getting into (or what's getting into them, lol)
I totally understand your point of view on this particular question. Being asked that question can be a good or bad thing, as you stated in your video. It's a bad thing, because it makes you think they're just after you for sex && it can be taken as a rude question. I also see the positiveness of it. I have to admit, i do like to know if a guy is a top or bottom, but not right away, because it's a weird questio to ask. So personally, I'd just say, do whatever fits best. (:
Thanks from BR. Very simple but very comtemporary, useful and sincere. I was touched and a bit sad for having discovered you just now. Congratulations! Keep it up plz!!!
I hear you on this one. I don't take it personal but yeah some guys will want to know this to determine if there's any question to a possible fuck, like you said, or to see if it could lead to a possible relationship, etc. Some just don't want to beat around the bush and I don't blame them. The thing about love/connecting,etc., well I find very few are into that anymore especially around our age. Take care.
anyway,I always talk with guys (when I'm single) without lookin' for bottoms but intime when things go to somwhere else I have to ask Bcuz I don't wanna be bottom in a relashion ship and I never gonna force to any guy to be bottom so wht can I do ofcourse I have to ask first and it's not cool ask it I agree but in some time I think I have done it not tryin' to hook up...
I think it shouldn't B a 1st question n at th end it doesn't matter but 4 exam in my case and I know it's worthless but I'm top I have been bottom but I don't really like it toomuch I do it in extremely cases when my bff wantsit who thnk God ask me for it rarely in several months...(continues above)
It depends on the situation, and how it's addressed. If you're in a hook up situation where it is expected, then you can't really be surprised. The "stupid part" for me is that when you tell them whether you're a top or bttm then they feel like "Oh you're not a top/bttm, or are you kidding me - you look like a bttm/top." Like they can make you change who you are as a person just because they don't like it, or their views of sexual preference are so narrow. To me that is very disrespectful.
Actually, this question isn't anything like a straight guy asking his girlfriend if she likes it up her ass or her pussy. Regardless of what hole she takes it up, she is STILL the one getting fucked. Maybe if he asked her if she wanted his dick in her hole.....or if she'd prefer straping on a dildo and shoving it up his ass - THAT would be a simliar question. This question is relevant for gay men as it isn't like straight sex in that regard.
erik3579 21 hours ago
I think love is more than sex, so top or bottom is irrelevant.
hipineva 1 day ago
i totally agree with what is being said. The quetion, "top or bottom?" primairly serves two functions: 1. To actually find out, top or bottom 2. If the person is down to fuck. The dude was just looking to hook up. If you truly love someone, than sex should be sex, and meaninful regardless of the positions, it should just be compatable because of who its with. But he was probably just seeing if you were interested by if you were gonna answer him or not.
ShipDipTheChips 1 day ago
Well, it actually is an important question. It would be really sad to fall for someone and then find out that you're not compatible. But, asking in that format, I agree, is not good. If you just met him ten seconds ago, then he was just trying to get some. Asking later on is totally understandable. I've asked it to my boyfriends.
robtul12 2 days ago
My best friend is gay(Im bi) but a guy asked him that question and he didnt even know my friend. My friend after having not very nice words to each other punched the guy. So I think you are totally not blowing it out of porportion.
TallaRaksha 2 days ago
To me he is asking about hooking up with you. obhviously your at a gay bar so it is in the subject of his asking. Maybe he wasnted to see if he can get with you later. Just my opinion
Orly1964 3 days ago
I tend to believe its about establishing compatibility before investing time in trying to foster a relationship that would ultimately be unsuccessful due to being unable to have intimate relations, that every couple needs.
accordguy0325 4 days ago
i like your poster in the back round
squiretaco2 4 days ago
I totally agree with your comparison of asking somebody if they're a top or bottom to if they like it in the pussy or in the butt... especially if I wasn't in the mood for anything sexual. However, whenever I'm in a slutty mood, I could care less if somebody asked me that. If I was flirting with somebody in a slutty way then I feel like I'm just asking for that question. If I'm just trying to have a non-sexual conversation with somebody then I wouldn't like to ba asked that question.
shaunny0208 4 days ago
AGREE
damdoom86 5 days ago
I agree with you, the way I see it is that if you are gay you will be open to experience everything. If anyone ever asks me that question I always say I am neither.
JussyJR 5 days ago
Soooo are you a top or a bottom? lol Actually that's like the number one question on Craigslist. Yeah I don't like the question either as it's way too personal way too early on. But if the guy is really hot hey he can ask me anything as long as he asks me home.
ARSholva 5 days ago
i think its perfectly reasonable to ask this...i'm a power bottom....and i think it would be extremely awkward if we got around to sex and he wanted something i was uncomfortable giving him:-/
brysch18 5 days ago
Straight guys don't need to ask. Nobody would ask right away if the girl likes anal, because it's a different thing, completely.
When I met my current boyfriend, we talked about it after a couple of weeks. It wasn't sleazy or just trying out to get sex, it was just stating facts. If both guys don't like getting taken, or both guys only liked getting taken, then it wouldn't go far. It's just asking where we both feel more comfortable.
Top and Bottom sometimes isn't about sex, either.
Batmilne 5 days ago
When a guy ask me direct that question I assume he's 100% bottom, even inactive, the kind of guy who want to lay on a bed and be f^ck, he doesn't want making love with ME, he thinks about himself as an hole,and me as a d:ck: he hasn't any interest in sex,just penetration...
I don't judge but there is nothing less exiting for me; I prefer have to "fight" a little for reaching my goal, and by the way the few times I run into another only top guy we have good sex even without penetration.
Malacarne2012 6 days ago
Yes, you are blowing this out of proportion. It all comes down to practicality, and a real world scenario. Which is better? To meet someone, develop feelings for them, spend a great deal of time getting to know them, love them, need them, only to find out at that point you are not compatible (and let's be real, a relationship without sex is just a friendship) OR to gain this information upfront so you can have a good idea of where things may or may not lead, without emotional investment.
Inclousid 1 week ago 15
@Inclousid I think that if you truly do love somebody, you can make the sexual part work no matter what.
But hey maybe I am just old fashioned.
FilledHunchbacks 5 days ago
@FilledHunchbacks Yes, that is old fashioned. Which is why our mothers and fathers usually stayed in loveless sexless relationships.
And what does equal rights and mutual respect have to do with it?
Inclousid 4 days ago
@Inclousid And another thing... we demand equal rights from others... how can we do that if we don't even respect each other?!
FilledHunchbacks 5 days ago
@FilledHunchbacks Please add me as contact... I wanted to do you but I don't know how to do it on the new channel design.
Bresalio 4 days ago
WOW.... you are cooool !!
longnguyen96 1 week ago
I think it's naive to pretend love overrules the practical need to know if you are sexually compatible with another guy. And the analogy of asking a woman if she likes it up the ass or the pussy is a flawed one because women can be only bottoms whereas gay men can be either tops or bottoms.
klytus42 1 week ago
@1:46-1:52 = absolute & undeniable evidence of bottomness.... & if you add the whole drama on top of it (*pun intended*) it just makes the point even more clear..
spunkyspunky666 1 week ago
So r u?
razzatron 1 week ago
I was in a relationship for a while and we did not ask the question and it did become a problem because he thought I was a top and I thought he was. Just saying I wish I had asked the question early on (but maybe not the first date!)
johndavidw 1 week ago
I agree with you 200% and yes I did say 200, that is how much I agree with you
bobsit1945 1 week ago
I think it's an important question......did you consider maybe he's looking for a LTR and if he's a strict top and so are you.....in general.....that relationship isn't going to work out :( Relationships r hard enough as they r but going on several dates & maybe just making out once in awhile & developing feelings for each other is fantastic & then the bomb gets dropped when you're all hot & bothered & ready to hop in the sack & suddenly you find out your both tops or both bottoms (sad day)!
PriceSlut 1 week ago
The question doesn't bother me that much, but I do agree that when you first meet someone, for that to be one of the questions, is a little off-putting and sleezy. I'm pretty open about what I am, but sometimes, especially if you really want to get to know someone, it shouldn't even be up for discussion at first.
ERAUPRCWA 1 week ago
I'm a top, I guess. I'm not really sure. My boyfriend and I are really kind of the same as being dominant or submissive.
GayGreekGuy 1 week ago
I peraonally like to know just cause im a bottom but alot of people would consider me to be a top so two total bottoms dont match
KingArthur1991 1 week ago
Having been active sexually since 1973, my experience has shown that (a) most guys are versitile and (b) anal intercourse used to be something special, but is now expected nearly all the time. Guess it's connected somehow to all the expectations created by the vast amount of porn available: staged and edited sex being portrayed as "real" and as the "norm". So yeah, the question top or bottom on a first encounter would upset me too, but largely through disappointment rather than annoyance!
yo519ge 1 week ago
I think u blew that up a bit. He was hitting on you. if h'e s a dominant top in bed and ur a top, it can get awkward. Truth is (though not fem really), I like guys that take charge. I like for them to lead the way. Obviously I'm a bottom. Still, I am usually accurate on who I talk to. If I spoke to you, I wouldn't be sure. Not really. Maybe to him bottoms are usually more submissive. He was probably a top and wanted to know if he should, sort of, lead the way.
Justask79 1 week ago
It is okay. i would grossly offended by that question and if I were you I would have punched that bartender
tokyomewmewberry1 1 week ago
he was trying to get into your pants... not asking you to mary him...
the question seems perfectly reasonable given the situation...
had you been asked the same question while on a first date...
now that would be a little different...
caspercaspermac 1 week ago 12
@ dk683. Fully agree with you. Whether you're a top/bottom/versatile is a personal preference and generally shouldn't be asked about when you're just meeting someone. I do like knowing what my partner's preference is, but you find that out later after/while you date them
SkyDragon2982 1 week ago
yes, it's a good question! If you are a top--and I am a top--sorry that aint gonna happen--so my guess you are a bottom or at least willing to try--now that's my take on your overall take on the situation. Tops are a lot smarter they want to know where they stand from the get go--bottoms are different.
pulp7theman 1 week ago
no, you are NOT blowing this out of proportion, I agree with you 100% it is such an awkward question to be asked when you just meet someone. it's just gross.
dk683 1 week ago
I think it is a semi-relevant question since we, as a gay society, do have different sexual behaviors than heteros. Some adhere quite strongly to one position and if you find that you are not sexually compatible it can be unfortunate. It is very telling though when that is a basic introductory question as to what the guy is ultimately interested in. For fostering a relationship of any kind (friendship or dating) the personality is a bit more important than position.
gap136 1 week ago
Couldn't agree with you more, and what your analogy with a straight couple is both right-on and hilarious.
chthonic19 1 week ago
I agree with you 100%!!! i hate that question personally too. to me its a great indication to weather the guy is just looking for one thing and one thing only.
93CElias 1 week ago
I think its a question that your open to answering if you flirting at a bar. It could be a little annoying if that came up somewhere else but your kinda asking for it in that situation.
saladoray 1 week ago
Yah I consider the question a red flag if someone asked me that on the first date. Because its not suppose to be just about sex.
adfgfds 1 week ago
I don't think it's a big deal question but I do agree to ask it on some of the first, second, third dates is WAY too forward, it means all I am is a sex toy to you. I've been asked at clubs and concerts and usually say (if that's one of the first questions) "Since I won't be with you, does it matter?" =)
TheMandy713 1 week ago
That question is great, I think it's important to know, and that it's asked at the appropriate time. When is it appropriate? When having sex becomes a desire and you both want to know if that is a match. For those slutty men that question is in the forefront. For those looking for love don't ask that question for a while longer. But again they ask it when they have the desire to have sex and it matters.
JeremyAmorossi 1 week ago
No sense in dating if in the long run there wont be sexual chemistry. No to be a pig but that's a big part of a healthy lasting relationship. Maybe it doesn't need yo be asked so early but in a social setting like a club your pressed for time.
asmonde420 1 week ago
ur poster of sublime is dope i want
BassMaster486 1 week ago
I don't think this is a big deal. Sexual chemistry is apparently important...so knowing which you prefer would help them know if they could enjoy sex with you.
BroadwayKing15 1 week ago
it's just a question...I don't mind people asking me that...all though I see your point as well....
najfaca2 1 week ago
I personally think you're reading too much into the question
TheRetrokyo 2 weeks ago
Hey, you look like michael vartan from Alias! : )
thirdeye8 2 weeks ago
Honestly, when a guy asks me if I'm a top or a bottom, I just tell him I am whatever he wants me to be. :D
advancedplacement1 2 weeks ago
that's true, this question is awkward and rude
POkerMImi1 2 weeks ago 2
Well, while I appreciate your POV, Couver, you have to take the context of the situation into account: *you were talking to a bartender/person in a BAR*... That *isn't* really the "looking for something deeper" kind of place: most people are there to either just hang/have fun, or to hook-up. I get where you're coming from, in the broader sense (if a person asked you that out of the blue, I'd be offended, too), but in terms of the setting/the person asking in your story, you're overreacting..
tideoftime 2 weeks ago
I always think it is really funny when someone says, "oh you don't look gay". Exactly what are they expecting someone to look like! As for top/bottom/sideways on your head, who cares. It's similar to the straight world, people are either after sex or a relationship. That bar man sounds like a right slag who would go with anything and everything. Two people with similar preferences are often quite compatible as relationships are not always about what happens in the bedroom or garden shed!!!
urbex2007 2 weeks ago
Good job on quitting...I smoked for 12yrs and quit cold turkey. Been smoke free for 430 days now, quit after the worse Tequila hangover known to man. 16 shots of tequila and hot sauce. I should market it as a stop smoking aid. And to ask somebody that question is extremely tacky. The fact he even asked that shows he's been ridden harder then seabiscuit at the Kentucky Derby.
GaynNovi 2 weeks ago
The older I get the more I think this question is irrelevant. I've had long term relationships with people and it didn't matter if we were both tops or bottoms. If the chemistry is genuine, you find other ways to express those feelings
jghothot 2 weeks ago
You're not making an issue out of nothing...I think that it's the most "turn off" of all questions at the begining of a relationship or upon meeting someone. Shouldn't the question be "What was your life like growing up" or "So what things do you like to do, like hobbies or..." . I think that getting to know someone and seeing if you are compatible with each other's life styles may be a better start than trying to figure out sexually what's going to happen down the line.
KBallelli 2 weeks ago
@KBallelli I love you a little more each time you speak, broski. Jesus loves you all (Even the homophobic haters...) and so do I! And bravo to you Couver87 for being a boss!
codynootchies 2 weeks ago
It doesn't really bother me because my answer is usually...oh really,you asked that. because that is NOT what I'm all about. and the conversation abruptly ends most of the time
Gatorz01 2 weeks ago
It is a very practical question. I mean if you are really looking to get it plowed and you wind up with someone who has no interest in their own erection, it is going to be a very long or very short evening depending on your transportation situation. Read personal ads. People are very specific about what the are looking for. If you are a blue eyed blond, it is nice to know that your target is only into black guys sooner than later. If it has to be 9 and you only have 8 3/4 better find out now.
Stanwoody 2 weeks ago
I TOTALLY agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jamesarnesen 2 weeks ago
Definitely blowing it out of proportion. It's not only a way to quickly and easily communicate one's basic sexual proclivities, but is also language that defies the hetero-normative expectations placed on homosexual men. Aside from that, you've always got the option of saying that you're vers(atile).
It sounds more like you're annoyed at being asked that question so early into meeting someone, which is fair.
TheRobertStull 2 weeks ago
men fuck, women get fucked, so many people wanna know who's the "men" and who's the "woman"... it's really very stupid, honestly i think that if you're gay, you have to be prepared to be both, i had a boyfriend sometime and he only wanted to be the top one, anyway, you're totally right, it's something to discuss on bed.
abisspassenger 2 weeks ago in playlist Watch Later Playlist
i hate that shit too, its very direspectful to ask that
allthingsOlympic 2 weeks ago
Wow, you're hideous
SneakySnitch1 2 weeks ago
Comment removed
SneakySnitch1 2 weeks ago
Interesting! Very Interesting!!!!!!!! Gay is sexuality is it not? This is interesting that gays think this is faux pas to ask yet they want everyone to know they are homo"SEXUAL". and gay sexual.
benisturning30 2 weeks ago
@benisturning30 that is why people say gay and straight, they are EUPHEMISMS for homosexual and heterosexual. homosexual and heterosexual are just words that describe what sex you are attracted to. If you were a heterosexual man you'd probably need to know whether the girl you're about to ask out was a heterosexual as well.. its much different than being a gay guy and having another gay guy ask you how you like to have sex..
oishitomoro 2 weeks ago
@oishitomoro it shouldn't even be compared to heterosexuality. It is not the same.
If a person does flaunt his or her sexuality, then he or she deserves to be treated in the manner in which they carry themselves. That is all I'm saying.
benisturning30 2 weeks ago
@benisturning30 GAY PEOPLE DON'T FLAUNT THEIR SEXUALITY ANYMORE THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE DO LOL
oishitomoro 2 weeks ago
@oishitomoro Then how do you know someone is gay? It's sexuality. I don't understand it.
benisturning30 2 weeks ago
@oishitomoro Then how am I supposed to know a guy is gay?
benisturning30 2 weeks ago
@benisturning30 Ask him if he's gay. -.-
TheIgaram 2 weeks ago
yep blowing it out of proportion.. if u r one or the other u don't wanna hookup with somebody u aren't compatible with and if u r versatile the other guy might wanna know that if he isn't..if all he had in mind was a hookup then it's a question that is important .. but if u want love then I think it is more disappointing than offensive
xadam2dudex 3 weeks ago
I completely agree with you, but I found out that at some point the question needs to be raised if you want a future with another guy.
love4musicuk 3 weeks ago
Your being hit on at a bar, not on a date, he obviously just wants to fuck your ass like most people only want to do.
G1Shane 3 weeks ago
I agree with you but what I'd like to comment is that you said "If I was a man". You ARE a man. Being gay doesn't mean that you're not a man. What you shoud've said is "If I was heterosexual". This kind of speech just perpetuates the miss concept about gays not being masculine enough to be men.
Dapperod 3 weeks ago
Yeah I kinda see your point, but then again men are pretty upfront about sex. Which is one of the things I've always liked about being gay. Seems like you're at that point where you're still figuring out who you are and how that relates to your sexual identity. Don't let one line blow you out of the water. And don't expect to much subtly from a bartender at a gay bar. In fact don't expect much from bars in general.In fact take everything with a grain of..vaseline, I mean salt.
drewt3 3 weeks ago
you should at least give us an answer... lol
imaginaryboii 3 weeks ago
my reply "I'm not a piece of meat"
Howl93 3 weeks ago
So not taking it the wrong way i find it offensive to
Mrpimp696 3 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
my answer is "i like to take turns"
shuts my friends the fuck up.
[;
DoniZales 3 weeks ago
my answer is "i like to take turns"
shuts my friends the fuck up.
[;
DoniZales 3 weeks ago
Hate the whole role thing! It doesn't matter if he's a top or a bottom or versatile (wink) it doesn't matter if you love him or Capitol H.I.M lmao!!!! I had to.... Anyways gays get to caught up in roles! Annoying , but such is the way of the world.... I will take romance anyway ^_^
davisfontanes 3 weeks ago
ok just messing around but i understand what you mean hun its annoying actually !
TheSHAWNPILGRIM 3 weeks ago
ima top baby what about chu ~_0
TheSHAWNPILGRIM 3 weeks ago
I don't mind if someone asks, while I tend to be a uke (bottom) I normally say 'There depends on my partner and his desires'. I'm open about it even with straight people, just yesterday one of the boy in my school thought it would be fuuny to joke "You're getting too close behind me." (I was walking to the stairs to go to class, the he was standing in the middle of the stairs, blocking them) I just replied "Please I'm a uke" and walked on.
Katra846 3 weeks ago
Whatever happened to love and Chemistry? well, that's nice.......if you can find that.
If you go to a gay bar, how can you ask "Do you like romantic walks in Tuscany?"
I would be appalled if this was asked on a first date....but for a hook up?
blondboy93 3 weeks ago
@blondboy93 tots agreed! hes talking bout a bar! what would u expect a proposal!
matuiory 3 weeks ago
Yea Ive been asked the same thing too and I hate that the only thing the gay community can think about is SEX... I mean what happened to love? lol. Specially the younger gays....
akatsukigoku1010 3 weeks ago
@220phenom cause charlieissocoollike has a huge gay following
merlin8499 3 weeks ago
there's so much to explore why would you define anything so singularly?
bgus55 3 weeks ago
Only bottoms get offended by this question.
Deceptatronic 3 weeks ago
Sorry men are a different animals then women. It a way to break the ice about sex do to not all gay guy like it up the ass some can live with out it. It helps as much as it hurts yeah gay (male) relationship are sexual but so are guys. Love, romance, courtship, and all the stuff that makes relationship so good is very hard to find. Gay bar and other such place are seen as hook up places. This is one reason I been single most of my life. I wish you more luck then I.
AlanDaoust 3 weeks ago
I agree. It is stupid. You should with someone for love. I like you dude. You speak the truth. I mean get to know someone ja but that question you don't really need to ask right off the bat. Just go with the flow. Oh you are cute by the way. :-).
telephonemegaga 3 weeks ago
its a conversation starter...especially in a gay bar
tintaverde 3 weeks ago
I think you're maybe blowing it out of proportion, but I don't think that it's a big deal. I mean, yeah, it usually just means that it's a kinda "Let's fuck," thing, but also, you have to admit that it'd suck if you dated a guy for like four months, and finally wanted to have sex, and then you guys are right there, on the spot, and you're both tops. (I use this, because it's easier to get someone who's a bottom to top than the other way around) I'm not offended by it, just because I'm used to it
cubhicbu 3 weeks ago
I think that it is unnecessary to ask that question upon the first time meeting another gay man, I think that people who ask this question are the ones who create the negative implications on the gay culture as a whole
TheGayOracleAD 3 weeks ago
I think is true it's a little anyone, but in your situation what I can see is the he was a Bartender trying to hook up with you and he wants to know if you are going to be able to fuck him or you are going to let him to fuck you or what it's going to happen and I'm agree, can be a stupid question depends on the situation, but in your case seems like he ask the right question for his needs; so don't take it too personal. I want to know what happened? What did say? Details Girl!!
naya7 3 weeks ago
I personally would say that it depends on the context of the question in the conversation...for example what you explained was offensive, and would have offended me...now if you were on a first date with someone and doing the whole gently put your feet in the water and test it getting to know you thing...and your date asks...that to me is not offensive, forward, but not offensive...he's just trying to see where the bedroom roles would be placed...
charmedfreak1988 3 weeks ago
How the Heck is one gana know if you match "sigh" ;\
jayboytoy007 3 weeks ago
he is obviously a bottom. duh, why ask. lol jk. shusshhh. but seriously, he is a bottom.
Bobesque 3 weeks ago
i guess it doenst bother me, i am guilty of asking it too. But I only ask it if I am looking to hookup cuz youre right about it being that I dont care about the person then, and it makes it easier to weed out the other bottoms and find a match quicker. not sure that the guy/girl analogy works cuz the girl is always input only. she is always getting penetrated, regardless of the hole. Some tops dont like their asshole penetrated, so its good to know upfront. Imo.
846jensu 3 weeks ago
i agree and disagree... i prefer to use the words dominant and passive... because im wanting to describe my (or the other persons) personality... cause even then... i still like to... i guess we could say experiment... and so if i say dominant or passive its is much more open then top or bottom
daronsong13 3 weeks ago
You are SOOOOOO right!
fenackerpan 4 weeks ago
i don't hate that question, but it surely makes me see the kind of person that they are. It's obvious that when they ask you that right away is because they want to know if they can have a relationship based on sex and not on a serious relationship.
adriand80 4 weeks ago
I'm whatever you want me to be! ;)
greedlusthate 4 weeks ago
I have wondered if being a top or bottom has a stereotype attached to it when it comes to a person's masculinity (or lack thereof). I've never been more than mildly offended by it. However, I don't like it when it's the first question "out of the box." And, I don't think you're blowing it out of proportion, at all. Thanks for making me think a little deeper on this because it's a very valid point. This is the first video of yours that I've seen; but, I'm going to check out more of them.
RonN448 4 weeks ago
i have really come to enjoy your videos bro,,,muah
1988fierogt 4 weeks ago
I don't mind the top or bottom question that much. What I do hate is when someone says, "So are you the guy or the girl in a relationship?" We're both f@#%ing guys!
Eyulfable 4 weeks ago
If I was in your position I would've found it a little disrespectful, and I don't see you blowing this out of proportion in any way.
ElevatorLink 4 weeks ago
ask them y they asked it who knows.
tyty12345678910 4 weeks ago
i think its a question that theres just no right way to answer it either someone might or might not be asking it with the right intentions or someone else might or might not take it the wrong way off the bat. but for me its a question that needs to be asked because im a bottom and plan to stay that way why would i try to be with someone that they might wanna bottom one day, would it cause a problem if i dont want to top. this is the situation im trying to avoid altogether just if they ask you
tyty12345678910 4 weeks ago
I'm neither a top nor a bottom, too, and I don't care about these particular labels, but I'm curious about the femme/butch label because I like mannish women. I'm a bisexual guy.
xXvolhvXx 1 month ago
I think that it is an OK question if it is a compatibility question, but if it is someone just trying to be nosy or trashy then yes it offends me. I think in a gay bar setting it is a compatiblity question, because there are guys out there that are only into one position, and then there are the guys that are vesatile. I don't think that one is better than the other like some of the comments that versatile is the only way to go. That is the only way to go for them.
geminimikie 1 month ago
I agree w/ you. Asking that kind of question is just way too personal. I get that all the time. And people wonder why I give them the cold shoulder.
talent102284 1 month ago
"It" will work itself out if u r attracted to each other!
flcwoods 1 month ago
i think liking each other is most important, people now a days cares about these things too much, if there is love.. would that stops you?
eric92chen 1 month ago
i don't mind when people ask that anyway but oh well people are curious o.o
KEITH2781 1 month ago
yeah, i feel ya, who cares?
justjuan4u 1 month ago
Meh, if you're not versatile, the sex is gonna be lame in a month anyway. Why waste your time?
PennyDreadfuI 1 month ago
Are you talking about Amsterdams... I love that place lol
CotesMaGoats 1 month ago
If the answer to that question is important than you're not the man for me. Why? You can't be a good TOP without being a good BOTTOM. Versitale is the only way to be. The best part of building passion in bed it a good "fight for the fuck". Hopefully for a flipflop. If you only do one thing, i'll bet borded.
squirt404live 1 month ago
I wouldn't be offended if someone asked and we we're close or dating.. like it depends on the situation.
But if someone's being trashy then I wouldn't be offended but I would more or less laugh at the situation and walk away.
Kayamaniac 1 month ago
Comment removed
Boot1998 1 month ago
One word: Trashy. You're right on.
TeepasaurusRex 1 month ago
For me, it all depends on the person. If it's a friend that asks, I'm usually comfortable saying. If a random stranger asks, it's a bit annoying. Though, since coming out, etc. I've gotten more comfortable about my "position" so I was embarrassed to say anything about it (all my bottoms, holla! LOL). I just think it depends on the person being asked.
ApplesNPhillip 1 month ago
I don't think that a bartender in Phoenix (my hometown...was it at Charlies?) should be asking you that question, but it is an okay question to ask others. Personally, I am a top because that is what I enjoy and I find being a bottom very uncomfortable and painful. It would be foolish for me to go out with another top who wanted to fuck me; plus it could potentially get violent. Also, bottoms wouldn't want to be with other bottoms. Not everyone is versatile.
buddhatrue 1 month ago
Here's the facts. I'm vers.. so ya I top and I bottom. As for everyone else.. does two tops work?? does two bottoms work?? and really does one top one vers.. or bottom vers work?? I've dated tops and bottoms and I always felt a building urge to switch it up.. to the point where a guy I was dating for 3yrs who started out vers went all top to well asexual.. (masturbation) to say the least I got frustrated so ya its important to know.. but like someone else said be a gentleman, its in the timeing
guyatplay 1 month ago
wow, the 2 top comments actually kinda sum up how i feel, roughly.
I agree that its annoying for that to be something that gets brought up in the first day or two after you've met someone, but its something that definitely can't be put off talking about for too long. i don't know about that whole "stab at your sexuality" sort of thing, but i definitely agree that it can be insanely impersonal and inappropriate if brought up super early on
driftnman 1 month ago
I once dated a guy for about a month before opening up a serious dialogue about sexual history. Now, I like to bottom, don't take this the wrong way, but he told me I'd never be able to top him because it hurt him too much. I wouldn't even get any on the weekends - not even on my B-day. I can't live my life never getting any! I'm a guy! So I do think its an important question. I say by 3 weeks in you need to sort all this out. I also had one guy tell me he had HIV at about 3 weeks in, so... ya.
TheBrimstonetitan 1 month ago
I find it important to know at least early on when meeting someone. Not as the first thing they ask but still dont want to waste months dating someone if its not going to ork. I have dated someone for 5 months just to find we where incompatible in that way and as such the relationship didnt last.
hotbottom6453 1 month ago
FUCK SOPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PGnumbaONE 1 month ago
I agree, but not totally, but almost
Jinkoundo 1 month ago
If you're just looking for sex, it's important to know. If you're looking for a serious relationship, it's important to know. My last boyfriend was a bottom, and I'm a bottom, and sex just didn't happen, so we broke it off. I expect to see those kinds of things online, where it's easier to post info and and thus you don't have to meet people you don't feel compatible with, but in real life I'd rather not know that info, because if we don't mesh sexually, I can still hopefully have a new friend.
piscesrd 1 month ago
i am 100% with you on this i hate it, dose it really matter. I dont really care, if i like you i like you and you being a bottom or a top is not going to change that
TheHello0077 1 month ago
I hate being asked that
jar46540 1 month ago
It depends on the guy
Harleybear09 1 month ago
"Are you a top or bottom?"
"Depends on the guy."
"Are you a top or bottom?"
"Depends on the guy."
"Are you a top or bottom?"
"I will destroy you and feed your remains to your family."
airdeity492 1 month ago
Ikr I agree with u 1000%
andysleythebitch 1 month ago
you're not a man on a date with a woman, but you are a boring and sanctimonious-non-smoking-mom-birthday-loving-faggot from redneck Phoenix.
bigbronzespider 1 month ago
@bigbronzespider and you are a homophobic idiot.
richard1968lee 1 month ago
Dude a fucking straight persons asks that and I go "Well, are YOU a TOP or BOTTOM? HUH?!" .-. stupid people suck
TheSnowWillowsShadow 1 month ago
YOUR SO RIGHT <3 I HATE IT!
ellocogigo071394 1 month ago
God I agree so much with you. Does it fucken matter if I am a bottom or a top. So many times guys just want sex sex sex and its like listen can't we build something here.....im not a whore and I dont wanna fuck u and then bounce. Being someone that is trying to come out and be apart of the community I keep wanna to pull my hair out by how many men just want sex. I want a fricken relationship, I wanna hold hands and cuddle, I wanna be apart of your life and you mine.....is that so fucken hard.
luomobuffo 1 month ago
When asked that question, I tell them I am sideways. Why be locked into just one position. I think some guys ask that question so they won't be wasting time with someone that is the same way.( top and top, or bottom and bottom) Wait................maybe I have hit on something. Think about it: doesn't it look like we do to ourselves (Gay Men) what straight people do to us?(Why would you be into another guy?)
AudredDax 1 month ago
If you are asked that question it's because the person isn't interested in who you are, they find you sexually attractive and don't want anything more than a quick fuck or two.
I find it pointless to be upset about someone asking this because you obviously just have different wants for each other, which should be respected and then move on.
cucumberzr4chumpz 1 month ago
I see the question as irrelevant to, striking up a friendship. If one is trying to hook up, and is only interested in one position, it becomes extremely relevant. Additionally, if one is looking for a relationship and is only comfortable in one role, it becomes a compatibility issue. No one wants to date for months to find out that they're not compatible, and this is an issue that can be addressed early. I only find the question offensive when it's the first thing to come out of someone's mouth.
dannyboi111982 1 month ago 30
@dannyboi111982 I completely agree, I mean for medical reasons I can only be one of those positions, so dating for months just to find out we aren't compatible is annoying.
cucumberzr4chumpz 1 month ago
@cucumberzr4chumpz That's a prime example. It even trumps mine which is based on preference. But I put the question in the category of important questions such as HIV status, sexual role, relationship or screwing, etc. I think everyone wants to know what they're getting into (or what's getting into them, lol)
dannyboi111982 1 month ago
@dannyboi111982 couldn't have said it better myself
makeitezr93 1 month ago
its incrediably offensive, i am a gentlemen, i expect to be treated as a gentlemen.
PjPoison 1 month ago
I am vers. So that question is irrelevant to me.
Jopo1226 1 month ago
I don't understand why one would be strictly one or the other....I mean, switch off?
Maybe it's just me.
MrJetallan 1 month ago
I'm gay and I say get over it. If you hate it enough, I garentee you that eventually you will do the same thing. It happens every time........
driverain2 1 month ago
I totally understand your point of view on this particular question. Being asked that question can be a good or bad thing, as you stated in your video. It's a bad thing, because it makes you think they're just after you for sex && it can be taken as a rude question. I also see the positiveness of it. I have to admit, i do like to know if a guy is a top or bottom, but not right away, because it's a weird questio to ask. So personally, I'd just say, do whatever fits best. (:
chrisbc1 1 month ago
Thanks from BR. Very simple but very comtemporary, useful and sincere. I was touched and a bit sad for having discovered you just now. Congratulations! Keep it up plz!!!
rafaelmachadochagas 1 month ago
@220phenom becouse he's gay.
ComfortablyDouglas 1 month ago
I hear you on this one. I don't take it personal but yeah some guys will want to know this to determine if there's any question to a possible fuck, like you said, or to see if it could lead to a possible relationship, etc. Some just don't want to beat around the bush and I don't blame them. The thing about love/connecting,etc., well I find very few are into that anymore especially around our age. Take care.
ACXiaoyu 1 month ago
Vers — problem solved ;)
midnightfapper 1 month ago
anyway,I always talk with guys (when I'm single) without lookin' for bottoms but intime when things go to somwhere else I have to ask Bcuz I don't wanna be bottom in a relashion ship and I never gonna force to any guy to be bottom so wht can I do ofcourse I have to ask first and it's not cool ask it I agree but in some time I think I have done it not tryin' to hook up...
thekcerYo 1 month ago
I think it shouldn't B a 1st question n at th end it doesn't matter but 4 exam in my case and I know it's worthless but I'm top I have been bottom but I don't really like it toomuch I do it in extremely cases when my bff wantsit who thnk God ask me for it rarely in several months...(continues above)
thekcerYo 1 month ago
I get annoyed, too. I also get annoyed when people think a bottom should be prissy and the top should be more manly.
Nateynate82 1 month ago 42
Such an annoying question. It's personal for fucks sakes.
Shiggityshiggtyschwa 1 month ago
i all ways get ask that
emojoshyyyyy 1 month ago
It depends on the situation, and how it's addressed. If you're in a hook up situation where it is expected, then you can't really be surprised. The "stupid part" for me is that when you tell them whether you're a top or bttm then they feel like "Oh you're not a top/bttm, or are you kidding me - you look like a bttm/top." Like they can make you change who you are as a person just because they don't like it, or their views of sexual preference are so narrow. To me that is very disrespectful.
GLBizME 1 month ago
Wow your cute;)
instantRegicide 1 month ago
one question, is the top should be the bigger one or the manlier one?
Lezarful 1 month ago
@Lezarful most of the time. But sometimes the smaller one gives. It depends on the couple. Sometimes they take turns
rainbows1996