Das Ranting: Mervin Reads! Twilight Illustrated Guide (Episode 4)

[HRZONE2]

As a joke I should take the audio from this video and edit it so that it's just what the book says. The length would probably be like 15 mintues LOL. You make me laugh.

[Harakuroi]

My god, Edward freaked me out...Seriously, watching that cold light in his eyes whilst you ranted seriously freaked me out. I'm going to go and read The Darkest Hour again, now. I love Mrs. Hyde's Edward. He deserves a drink.

[KitaCamui]

Edward is Kira from Death Note. D:

[RWBn00b]

...The romanian coven apparently ruled without secrecy...

...Since way before the Dacian kingdom, the first known kingdom in the area... until 400-500 AD... way after the romans took Dacia.

What in blazes? By any logic, they would 1. Need to build their castles themselves. 2. Keep out of the conflicts.

So they basically must have sat around, not making enough of a note for the romans to notice them. For all their "Kinginess", they just bossed around a village or so.

[RWBn00b]

@RWBn00b

Plus, the romanian coven story confirms that her vampires dies from regular fire. Without tearing them apart, as they were literally burned to death by arson. XD

Makes sense what with her saying her vamps have incredibly flammable cells.

Napalm would absolutely murder the meyerpires.

[tcelenacuatemocatl]

Meyers has Edward wanting to go to war so that people will think he is such a warrior and noble guy.

[tcelenacuatemocatl]

LOL!!!!!!!! "sex cottage"

[MorSonny11]

Wait in the last videos Myeres said that vampires cant starve. But then now she said he was starving

[tallblondasian]

I love how Rosalie is basically the least evil of the Cullens but made out to be a bitch by Bella. Meyer really hates those female blondes doesn't she? Rosalie, Lauren, and the Denali sisters are all just labeled as bitches that Edward would never look at because he has perfect Bella. I'm sure that has nothing to do with Meyer being jealous of Blondes in high school lol

[tcelenacuatemocatl]

@tallblondasian ahahaha! Meyers is jealous of blondes.

[Catalaya270]

This is so completely off topic and random, but when you were ranting about Edward's birthday being June 30, I was hit by a sudden blast from the past. June 30 is the birthday of another famous fictional character:

Sailor Moon

[tallblondasian]

@Catalaya270 lol but Edward's is June 20th I remember cuz I was pissed that he was a Gemeni like me.

[IzZyVanDizZy]

This is off topic, but just when you started laughing about Edward's "alternative lifestyle", my dad came in and asked me, why >I< was laughing so hard. I didn't notice because I haven't heard my own voice recorded in a long time, but we sound very, very much alike, especially the laughter.

Now I really like my voice. =)

[aquabluecat123]

Ahem!

Edward. Since your creator loves Paramore SO MUCH. (*eyeroll*) Listen to the song, "Playing God".

Better yet, look up the anime: Death Note. That's a good boy. Now discover what it is to truly play God and get the punishment you deserve.

[NosKryme]

As amusing as this is, it really makes your accusations kinda of...bottomless cause alot of the questions you asked were answered in the book ^^'

Soooo I'll just assume you DIDN'T read the book, but I'd suggest you do if you want yer answers.

[dasmervin]

@NosKryme Considering I am doing a sentence-by-sentence analysis and recap of all of the Twilight books right now and am currently in the middle of Eclipse, that is a bottomless accusation as well. If you have answers to the questions I still have, feel free to point me in the direction of the passages that contain said answers.

[NosKryme]

@dasmervin Why would I need too? o___O the answers already ARE in the book (...though considering how the book is written, I wouldn't be surprised if one forgot what it said, cause in all honesty, I don't remember the extra scenes in the book besides the answers.) Most of the answers, I believe, would be in the first book though.

[nicolebmoviesFTW2]

@NosKryme LOL! You think reading the book will give answers? The books are shit-cake. Reading them answers nothing.

[NosKryme]

@nicolebmoviesFTW2 It depends what kind of reading you mean, there are a few questions you asked in this video that have been answered in the book. Though if you're randomly reading the book and not taking it in, then i don't expect you to find answers for your questions which were already answered in book ONE (there could have been answers in book two as well but I skipped that one.)

[Harakuroi]

@NosKryme I think what you are confused about is: Handwaves are not answers. Meyer makes up bullshit excuses about some of these questions, but she never answers them satisfatorily. The answers given either make no sense, rape her own canon, or she just flat out avoids the question. Meyer is doing a detailed sentence by sentence recap of the book, I don't think you have any right to say that she's not taking anything in. If anything, you're the one who's willfully blind.

[tehsupervampy]

I just love hearing about how much somebody hates Twilight on Harry Potter's birthday... well here.

[wolfmoon17]

I am actually insulted by how little this woman (Meyer) knows of English history, no sewer system in the 1600's and being 6''2 was a rarity. Then there's the search for 'witches etc' good god give the country more credit they had better political adversaries to concentrate on than superstitions and only heretics were burned. To be fair about WWI at the start many did want to join as their duty and thought it'd be easy but that changed around the 1915/16 so I'm giving Meyer no credit on this.

[KanadeWolfDemon]

England didn't have a sewer system in the 1600's...

[Give1Take2]

lol I just love your comments! "He's from England in the 1600's, and he's 6'2 . . . I'll bet he was a little freak of nature." lol

Seriously, I think Carlisle is the most shallow and hypocritical one of all. He turns four DYING people without their consent simply because they're beautiful, and he wants them as a companion for himself (Edward and Esme) or for someone he has turned (Rose for Edward and Emmett for Rose). How selfish and shallow is that?

[DassahDill13]

and there not all thinking about sexual things!!!!!!!!! and thats not how Stephanie myer meant it!!!!!!! my word!!!!!!!!!

[DassahDill13]

oh my word!!!!! dude Carlisle was just thinking that rosalie would someday be a good companion for Edward...he new edward was lonely !!!!! oh my word stop being so wigged out he thought edward wanted a companion!!! and if rosalie said no than fine...but don't be so mad...

[nicoleb]

You gotta wonder, had Carlie found a bruised, battered, dying gang-rape victim who was a MAN, not a woman, if he would've saved him. ...No, you don't have to wonder. We all know he would've just left him to die. Lovely~

[wolfjackle]

@nicoleb But everyone knows men can't be raped!

God, I hate people like Meyer....

[nicoleb]

@wolfjackle LOL, I forgot. >_>

Meyer: What? A man? But men can't get raped! ...What? Men can be raped by other men or sodomized with objects? NO! Homosexuality and sex toys are amoral! I don't care if a man was forced to perform such things against his will! It's WRONG!

Meyer needs to die. I'm not even joking. I would be happy if someone killed her. Oh, and I bet Carlisle wouldn't have turned Rosalie if she hadn't been attractive. If he'd found an "ugly" rape victim, he would've just left her.

[LauraIsPink]

i think it's pretty stupid that stephenie meyer had to write a SEPARATE book about all of the stuff that she should have been put IN THE ORIGINAL BOOKS!!!! my god! j.r.r. tolkein had the maps literally written in the lord of the rings books. i mean you open up the books an BAM there's a map of hobbiton, mordor, gondor ect. as the inside art. you know shits going down when frodo's sword turns blue. where as NOTHING happens in twilight.

[fallenangelcrf]

You know, I think that I wrote a character like Edward Cullen once...He was the bad guy! -_-*

[OllieMugwump]

SMeyer's inaccuracies about British history and everything else isn't even funny...

[slygirl1117]

BTW, to the third Carlisle quote, YOU DID THAT TO ROSALIE! So STFU!

[PhantomOfTheSchool]

I took a peek in the guidebook thing myself. Wasn't all that impressive AT ALL. I find it rather lulzy when they tried to go all Tolkien with the werewolf family trees, but that's something for another time.

Say, I'm not seeing the link you mentioned in the vid. Where is the link?

[slygirl1117]

@PhantomOfTheSchool It's here:das - sporking (dot) livejournal (dot) com / 91347 (dot) html # cutid1

[CeruleanRogue]

*prays*

Something tells me you're going to need a mountain of advil before this is all done..