Portal Funniest Quotes Ever

[anonrotflmao]

Caroline is almost as awesome as space, so much space...

[manedwilddog]

You know, getting baked and then having a large cake sounds like a pretty sweet deal... maybe I should sign up as a test subject.

[DarkTripods07]

i want my computer to be just like GLaDOS xD She so awesome!

[SneakyRedstone525]

GLaDOS is awesome

[Piper0711]

When shes going crazy its kind of creepy. But the stuff she says is definitely funny.

[LILDUNC3000]

Siri=GladOS

[TheZangetsu322]

FUCK ME IM A BRONY!

[iownall12able]

@TheZangetsu322 I... just got off of those videos, LITERALLY SECONDS AGO... you've gone only gone and sent me back to them... /)^3^(\

[NEScRETRO]

@iownall12able

i fucking love ponies

[iownall12able]

@NEScRETRO Cannot... Escape... every path leads to ponies...

[NEScRETRO]

@iownall12able

bronies are the shit. love all of you guys!~

[iownall12able]

@NEScRETRO @TheZangetsu322 @WYATTSPAFFORD @DiamondDoll9

Oh GOD! /)◕3◕(\ I love you guys!

[WYATTSPAFFORD]

@TheZangetsu322 me too!!!

[DiamondDoll9]

@TheZangetsu322 Ponies!!! :D

[TylrCSolvein]

She scares me.

[MomilyMoon]

@Trickfilledboxes I have a dealing her voice was always more human, she just wanted to trick you into thinking she was non sentient

[snorlaxstar]

R.I.P the companion cube :'(

[Allikatsosweet85]

GLaDOS: The enrichment center will always provide use ful advice... For instance the floor here will kill you...

Me: BAHAHAHAHA!!!! rotflmfao

[swope98]

this is really weird

[Nehawes]

7:14 makes my neck hair rise in fear

[Nehawes]

I love that she psyches the player xD fff I love these games so much!

[StrawB0ss]

i<3glados

[LilWayneNumber]

It sounds partly like Autotune singing -\/-

[jodywhiteley]

I didn't even know who glados was until a few days ago when all of a sudden I was getting all these comments on my sleep hypnosis videos from different viewers saying I sound like this robot. My daughter says I don't but she's a teenager and I never know when she's telling the truth or pulling my leg. Let me know what you think. If I do, should I keep sounding like that? Maybe it's cool. I dunno.

[Foxgirlgamer]

@jodywhiteley Are you kidding?

Sounds like robot=pure epicocity.

[Javelin09]

That's you.

That's how DUMB you sound. >:c

[JustMerpMan]

Goodbye!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAY

[ElPared]

@aug325, she says that right when you kill her. It's kinda hard to hear

[Foxgirlgamer]

I watched this whole thing.

Five times.

[kakashiluver123100]

the cake, clearly, is not a lie.

[kfcboy27]

To everyone who's subscribed or watched any of my videos, I just started up a new channel that will hopefully get some use very soon. I can't promise anything yet, but all I'm asking is that you hit subscribe and hopefully I can put out much more original content in the future. If that content doesn't happen for whatever reason, unsubscribe (no hard feelings) The channel is SpoveLoonerisms. I hope to see you there :)

[SpoveLoonerisms]

@kfcboy27 Thanks, me! I really appreciate it :D

[Taylorhrrr]

Oooooh- that's you. That's how dumb you sound.

[Violetthehedgehog756]

This video helped me discover Portal. You rock for making this video~

[beyblade4lifeify]

"Im going to kill you, and there is no more cake" lol what a way to tell the truth, GLaDOs.

[aug325]

"There really was a cake"

When does she say that. I don't remember that?

[StripedPelican]

ENVIRINMENT. Bahaha.

[CherryDtv]

Cake?!?

put ur device on the grond,lie on ur stomich,and put ur arms at ur side make no further atempt to leave the testing area.

oh no they cut the cake!!!

....rly u think i would belive that?

[KletsKaBram]

press 3 and then 6:

stab you an you'll be dead :D

[Naruya23]

HELLOOO

[ThePunkeegot]

@BlueX273 xD Oh, wow.

[allenwalker4th]

@BlueX273 *looks at glados while unzipping pants and picking up my member* yes my goddess...

[NinjaOfTheKyeboard1]

"The cake is a lie!"

Lawliet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH­HHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MintyMoonclaws]

@NinjaOfTheKyeboard1

L would die if he heard that X3

[Tawnyshine]

@NinjaOfTheKyeboard1 Iloveyou;-;

[KimmyRose12]

@NinjaOfTheKyeboard1 Lawliet...?

[CanadaxIreland]

@KimmyRose12

L from death note

[KimmyRose12]

@CanadaxIreland How did he get that name

[CanadaxIreland]

@KimmyRose12

what Lawliet?? Idk that's his name :3

[TheEDBShow]

What is with this robot girl thing's obsession with cake?

[Sylux1990]

@TheEDBShow Ohh, if you would call her "robot girl" I think she would some extra-neurotoxin, just for you...

But no, seriously: No one really knows why she is obsessed with cake, but I think the best theory is, that one of her personality spheres (The Logic Core) is broken and so it turned into a corrupted core, the cake core. You can hear the cake-reciepe when you smah that core out of GLaDOS...

[AwEsomePrUssia26]

@vevegir  OBJECTION!

[RiownerTias]

At the point I heard 3.37 in the walkthrough, I thought the player would be put into an oven and BE the cake.

Funny, I was close enough with that theory xD

[xiaochen1]

I wish Siri's voice sounded like this!~

[CrimsonMadcap]

Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out... that's what she said. o.O

[misfit750]

@CrimsonMadcap Not to you. >:D

[Bumbleberry1973]

"I could take a bath in this stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right in my eyes." Just a little creepy... When I heard her say that I started cracking up!!! I can totally see myself saying that and with the same tone!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!

[PigRiderMinecraft]

Quit now, and the cake will be served immediately.

[PigRiderMinecraft]

i prefer the robotic voice :)

[PigRiderMinecraft]

speedy then comes in, speedy then comes out O.o

[CrimsonMadcap]

... followed by death. GOOD LUCK :D

[WarriorsVocaloid]

Hahaha.... I now hav slight sleep complications.......

[LoubiiLUST]

this is extremely amusing but sometimes its just chilling.

[MellowJelly]

Very formal. Very official.

[TheDangerio]

pf... the weighted companion cube DID speak to me.

[kfcboy27]

@TheDangerio I stopped playing because it threatened to stab me...and then it did

[thelittlegreenirken]

Quit now and, Caaaaaaaake. [.].['] will be served immediately. 

[retrogamer348]

2+2 EQUALLSSSS ten in base 4 IM FINE!!!

[KnightlySirJames1]

Dear Lord, they combined the personality of my Mother, AND Sister into an AI personality that took over the world, and made it into a game...

twitch twitch twitch... I'll never be be okay... *argh snikt gurgle gasp* CAKE CAKE CAKE, I'm Not a good person, I just wanted cake, *sob sob sob* reverse, reverse, reverse, psychology

[DelunaGrl]

*cough* joking, haha, the dealdy was in massive sarcasm quotes, i could take a bath in this stuff, put it on cereal, rub it into my eyes, honestly its not deadly at all, to me, you on the other hand are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny.

[onealhart54]

I've never heard the last ones before

[46milleja]

45 people got baked and had cake

[MetroidODST]

this question has haunted me ever since i started playing portal;

y wood a cube stab me?

[sammisquigellz]

That's basically everything she says' in the game, minus maybe 2 or three other quotes.

This video is a spoiler :/

[MissyMissKitty]

"You're not smart. You're not a rocket scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full time employee!... where did your life go so wrong?"

[snowkiller12]

a deadly neurotoxin

Everything sounds moar badass if you say, a deadly neurotoxin

[ZxhopexZ]

didnt we have some fun though remeber when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and i said goodbye and you were all like "NO WAY" and then i was all we prentend we were going to murder you tht was great. ahh best line ever lol

[Khaatimful]

@ZxhopexZ When did deesh happen!?

[JuturnaFaith]

You will be baked and then there will be cake!

[KEwlIEoMAn7698]

Bird! BIRD! KILL IT! ITS EVIL!

[RiotShieldMan]

Wow, I've never played this game but GLaDOS reminds me of myself talking to people that are killing me in video games. THIS IS GREAT!!!!!

[boomingpearl]

speedy thing goes in

speedy thing comes out

i dunno why i love that one >.<

[emHatta]

Two plus two is... ten. In base four! I'm fine!

[catmaster90]

wow, popcorn, playing portal and, funny quotes BEST WEEKEND EVA!

[vevegir]

THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!

[LTURTLE27]

@vevegir well THAT'S original!

[kfcboy27]

@vevegir LOLWUT never heard that before :P

[PoopsiePizzaHiney]

@kfcboy27 how have you played this game, let alone made this video, without knowing what he's talking about???

[Dreshanda]

@kfcboy27 It's written on one of the walls. In blood.

[matrixphijr]

@kfcboy27 *Whoosh* Right over their heads.

[BossPanzer]

Portal is free again people spread it around !!! Free until 20th September 2011 if you download the game you can keep it and play forever !!

[Fishercardinal]

I invited your best friend companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.

[Agmented]

HELP HES GUANNA STAB ME AHHHHHHHHH

[Greenjamgamer]

It makes shoes for orphans. Good job hero.

[lunaticorthelover]

"I don't think you're going where you think you're going" - subtle Princess Bride reference?

[WIltshireByways]

6:29 Do you want to marry it?

WELL I WON'T LET YOU!

[kanadeangelcj9]

@WIltshireByways how does that FEEEEL?

[kanadeangelcj9]

Respond to this video... 7:50 *choking* pffft-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....i­m kidding. XD

[kanadeangelcj9]

Respond to this video... 8:03 "oh, when i said deadly neurotoxin, the deadly was in massive sarcasm. i could take a BATH in this stuff. put it in cereal, rub it in my eyes! honestly, it's not deadly at all... to me..." XDXDXDXD

[kanadeangelcj9]

Respond to this video...  9:26 *poor Chell voice impression * "that's YOU! that's how DUMB you sound!"LMAO XD i love GLaDOS she's awesome

[kanadeangelcj9]

Respond to this video... that one dude was right. without the moraity core GLaDOS does sound more human.

and to whatshisface, since he's a guy, sexy.

(and im not talking about Chell. this one youtube dude said she sounded sexy....so)

[kanadeangelcj9]

OH! how i wish Crypton Media would use THIS as a reference to make the Vocaloids SPEAK FLUENT ENGLISH! that way they'd probably have an anime! or at LEAST make Luka a better english-speaking vocaloid

meh. DX

[agentpancakes1]

@WIltshireByways How does that feel?

[bdboydster]

9,7,6,4,And 1 are the best!!!

[HideyoshiKiroshita]

I'd like to tell (INSERT VIDEO'S MAKER HERE) that (INSERT VIDEO'S NAME HERE) is about to be liked by (INSERT COMMENT'S AUTHOR HERE)

[Einarhrafn2]

THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!

[TheRealEricizkool]

i'm a potato

[GiftednTalented909]

@TheRealEricizkool THAT JUST MADE MY DAY!!!!!!!!!

[cupycake666]

"Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU."

[tonywhite2259]

HULLOOOOO!

That's you!

[200puppy7]

the cake is NOT a lie

[toontownpenny8]

Quit now and CAAAAAKE [`]-[,] will be served, immiedately

[tatsurider]

OMG AND LOL "Neurotoxin *coughs* *then gasps* So deadly :( *coughs* joking HAHAHAHAH I'm KIIDDDUUNNGGG when I said deadly neurotoxin the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm, I could take a bath in this stuff, put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly it's not deadly at all. TO ME." HAHAHAHA THAT KILLED ME :DD

[tatsurider]

HHAHAHAHAH: "You're not even going the right way,where do you think....you're going, because I don't think you're going, where you think you're going. Uh oh, somebody cut the cake, I told them to wait for you but they cut it any way, there is still some left though if you hurry back" HAHA that and "And you were like NOOOOO WAYYUHHHHY" HAHAHAH

[MissAlyssable]

"bloooo"

lol best part

[thedogmaster99]

Why did anyone ever click dislike on this?

[kfcboy27]

@thedogmaster99 I dunno, excuse myself while I drink myself out of depression...jk, but seriously

[alarik95]

this is caused by iron dust

[IHeartKiraYaoi]

Not in cruelty,

not in wrath,

The REAPER came today

an ANGEL vis'ted this gray path

and took the cube away.

[THEGUIDOS123]

we were going to kill you :D

How lovely

[thisfreemind]

9:28 lol best part

[checkzack]

for me, glados is what made the game as fun as it is.

[IcelavaDokiDoki]

the cake is a lie

the cake is a lie

the cake is a lie

the cake is a lie

the cake is a lie

[sarahelizabethasher]

I don't play Portal much anymore, but I listen to GlaDOS whenever I get the chance.

[checkzack]

GLaDOS is still alive!!

[BreezIsMe]

@checkzack Nonono she turns into a potato!!! :D No joke!

[RoxasandSoraII]

lolz haha glados quotes are funny the super computer is cool haha XD

[Gaaraloverr1]

XDDD The last few were the funniest in my opinion!

[AnonyMouse316]

Aww, I wish you would have included some of the phrases she says when you refuse to incinerate the companion cube.

[TheStarsghost]

"unsatisfactory"

[LarryTheBanana]

LOL Sewage Container

[Zcrazy123]

She sounds alot more Human in Portal 2

[Green12324]

@Zcrazy123 yeah, it think they should have kept her voice the same. it was funnier that way.

[Zcrazy123]

@Green12324 Actually i prefered her portal 2 voice.

[Trickfilledboxes]

@Zcrazy123 her voice changed and became more human at the end of portal 1, once the morality core was removed.

[Zcrazy123]

@Trickfilledboxes I know i like it better

[aug325]

@Zcrazy123 Then I don't wanta play it.

[Zcrazy123]

@aug325 She sounds like she did at the end of Portal

[Csteinhiser]

@Zcrazy123 This is because you remove the Morality Core in the first game, which if you listen at this point in Portal 1, GLaDOS begins talking in a much more human voice.

[Zcrazy123]

@Csteinhiser I know.

[MrSpore15]

@Zcrazy123 I think she is supposed to

[beogeo1]

"... An unsatisfactory mark on your record, followed by death." XD

[TheLightmaster44]

GLaDOS is the best vilian in a game 

[kfcboy27]

Just a quick little question for anyone who watches the vid in the future: I'm considering starting up a minecraft series of sorts (still working out ideas) but I was wondering what the interest level would be for something like that...give me an excuse to get FRAPS lol.

[changingfmh]

@kfcboy27 you should do a lp for the minecraft portal map!

[CyrusGamer]

@kfcboy27 dont get FRAPS waste of money

[ninjacob555]

@kfcboy27 MIIIIIIIIIIINECRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAFT!

[kfcboy27]

@ninjacob555 AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH MINECRAAAAAAFT

[MrCombustibleLemon]

@RhapsodicXStyle07 that's sooo not funny, man.

[twitterpated37]

I play this game so often it's not even funny I can complete the last level in like 2 minutes!

[lolly071461]

THE CAKE IS A LIE DAMMIT!!!! XD

[GoldenLioness100]

@lolly071461 It's not a lie!!!!

[RhapsodicXStyle07]

thumbs up if you knew these quotes before portal 2

[MEbesti]

CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!

[GLaDOS1271998]

Once when my friend was pissed out of his mind at 5AM he swore he could hear GLaDOS :-| ?

[pivotmasterDM1]

But....what about the super colliding super button? D:

[kfcboy27]

@pivotmasterDM1 Not that super. However it IS a button, and it is fairly useful at times. It's also red

[TheSleepyImsomniac]

42 people were sent to andriod hell

[moby196]

Aw... It didn't have my favorite one:

While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it, because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.

[kfcboy27]

@moby196 I'm sorry, I know I missed some of the really good ones and I apologize for that...I do feel bad :/

[matrixphijr]

@moby196 Was just thinking exactly the same thing.

[videolover1214]

O....M......G.....COOL VIDEO ^_^

[comeonfhqwhgads1]

Glados sounds a whole lot less robotic in Portal 2

[GryffenPuff]

@comeonfhqwhgads1 That was the point, and I love it :) It's mostly the robotic monotone here, but with a tinge of the deeper, emotive, (some would say seductive) voice she uses in the final boss fight of portal 1... making everything she says in Portal 2 have a tinge of bitterness. Lovely :D

[puiper]

@MintyMoonclaws

Ikr. That's my favorite one. I haven't played Portal either, but there's a walkthrough you can watch on TobyGames if you don't mind commentary.

[Flashfire97]

They put that in me when I flooded the enrichment center with deadly neurotoxin gas so I would stop flooding the enrichment center with deadly neurotoxin gas. Oh GLaDOS, you sly mischievous girl...

[MintyMoonclaws]

"And remember when The platform was sliding into the firepit and I was like, Goodbye! And you were like, NO WAY.

And then we pretended to murder you?

That was great. "

I think I fell in love with Portal though I never played it.

GLaDOS. You amuse me.

[xOxCarliGurlxOx]

omg i love this game. LMAO im such a nerd

[Happymystery12]

"... because you don't have any other friends."

... Yeah, you're pretty right about that, GLaDOS.

[kpbotbot]

"in layman's terms, speedy things go in, speedy things come out"

[ForgotteMemories101]

is that T-Pain voice acting?

[veryMrFrancy]

@ForgotteMemories101 I think that they use a program as Melodyne =l

[EpicGirll]

You're kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing-We-Don't-Know-What-It-Do­es into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator? That has got to be the dumbest thing that—whoah, whoah, whoah :D