Reminds me of the study we're doing in our women's ministry right now on the book and video, The Bait of Satan, by John Bevere. Defensiveness and offensiveness are not godly traits. It's good to talk about it, because so many of us are unaware that we are easily offended (which precedes our defense responses). Good video.
@shonesters :: Girl yes, getting "offended" stems from a root of pride IMO...don't get me started. Sometimes you have to check the root of an emotion and pull that thing up and out!
Glamzini. Sorry off topic. Tried viewing vid 144. (btw-you r awesome 4 sharing). Vid 144 not avail on mobile. Currently no access to puter. Any suggestions?
I will be looking forward to the repent/sorry therapy video!! I really "got" what you were saying about defensiveness....I have been that person for years, and the light went "on" when you were explaining it. After I watched this yesterday, I put it to use and did not plead my cases. did not look at my reasoning as a case either! it was uncomfortable but empowering at the same time. thank you so much for this video.
Love, love, love ya' for this vid, sis. So true. Ppl are more repetitive than they are "repented". I can't stand for a person to be overly "sorry". I'm thinking you've already apologized. Now, you want to give me the play back on what happen (very loudly) and how you hope I'm o.k. That gets on my last nerve. It's not as if I ended up in the hospital. When folks over do things, I'm thinking your compensating for something else you're lacking and refusing to deal with that issue.
Thank you for sharing your perspective on defensiveness. I never thought of it as giving away my power. I certainly get what you were saying. I have been overly defensive in the past and am still working on not being defensive in certain areas of my life. There were times when I felt I was powerless. This video has helped me. I will keep it in mind as I go through my day.
I have done the same thing when a person passed me and spoke. I don't think giving an explanation is defensive. I stated "Oh, I didn't hear you, I was concentrating so hard on something". But who cares? I did not feel threatened...lol. It was a very small part of my day (seconds). It would see it as petty for someone to feel frustrated or bothered by my explanation or actions. Good topic!
@babyshuf2 :: Yeah my example was strange, but in that instance the person said WAY MORE than just "oh I didn't hear you' ... then after the rattling on I said "uh, ok, good morning" and they did it again! I couldn't believe it. Why would you explain yourself for 3-5 minutes TWICE when all you had to say was "good morning". I actually said afterward "uh ... ok ... are you gonna say good morning or not?" LOL!
ok I need more videos from you on this subject I do get the basics though how about what if your family keeps questioning you as to why you are (still) in school. to me if it takes forever they should not be uneasy about it.
@astrozier1 :: Do you have a legitimate reason for your schooling taking the time it's taking? If so, and you've already told them, no need to repeat the same thing over and over. Do what you're doing, finish school, let them be.
Hello! I really like your free therapy videos. Do you think there is any situation where someone should be defensive? For me personally I feel like I become defensive when a person says that I said something that I did not say. So I always feel like I have to "explain" myself so that I am not misinterpreted, which is being defensive right? Or is that something totally different?
@chizzetel :: If something is being authentically threatened then I think defensiveness is appropriate ... to a point. In the example you gave I suppose I could see a quick concise "clarification statement" being made, then if the accuser keeps on with the lies I would just leave them be, no need giving more power to a person not seeking truth.
Also, some people's temperament are such that they are extremely talkative. I am not saying that in some cases defensiveness may not come into play. However, I tend to analyze people on an individual basis rather than grouping everyone into one big mass. In addition, we should strive to analyze our own reactions to certain scenarios.
@tashnik :: Now see, I am super talkative but I still think you can be a blabbermouth and not always be prone to defend everything you do like you're in a courtroom.
Hey sis I understand your stance and I disagree with the example you provided. I dont agree that when someone clarifies their position they are necessarily being defensive. Personally, when I explain my self it is usually to prevent miscommunication and misunderstanding. In addition, I dont like when people's feelings get hurt. So in the example that you gave if I did not hear when someone said good morning to me, my personality is such that I have to let them know "Hey its not you..its me"
@tashnik :: Yeah, my example was strange but my sentiment is still the same. I suppose if someone is an "explain because of miscommunication" type, this video will let them at least know that some people interpret that as "doing the most" and "defensive" *shrug*
@tashnik IA with this assessment of the scenario. But I do understand the how defensiveness and the need to explain oneself to folks go hand in hand. This is a great conversation to have, thanks for the free therapy.
Hey Sis! was just wondering how u were, and then a video showed up. ;-) Hope you had a wonderful holiday. I understand what you were saying. I think it's an automatic reaction 2 be defensive. which may b hard 2 change, but none the less, can b changed. I almost think some people expect u 2 explain why u didn't answer or respond. The third time a person says hello, may b with attitude and therefore invoke a defensive response. so it could go both ways. ie.."I said HELLO!!!' u see what i mean?
@naturalhairful :: LOL. Yeah I see what you mean, but the person in the example I was trying to give has a track record of defensiveness so it triggered my video :) Either way, I'm never a fan of when people do that and I do think some people are prone to it more than others.
I think that a constantly defensive mindset goes along with having insecurities...
crsw2003 2 months ago in playlist Free Therapy
Reminds me of the study we're doing in our women's ministry right now on the book and video, The Bait of Satan, by John Bevere. Defensiveness and offensiveness are not godly traits. It's good to talk about it, because so many of us are unaware that we are easily offended (which precedes our defense responses). Good video.
shonesters 3 months ago
@shonesters :: Girl yes, getting "offended" stems from a root of pride IMO...don't get me started. Sometimes you have to check the root of an emotion and pull that thing up and out!
glamazini in reply to shonesters (Show the comment) 3 months ago
Glamazini. Thnx 4 updating settings & enjoyed othr vid as well. U rock!
2Persistent2 3 months ago
AWESOME!!!
possitivenature 3 months ago
That was some serious word right there. Thanks for it.
secretsandlies09 3 months ago
Glamzini. Sorry off topic. Tried viewing vid 144. (btw-you r awesome 4 sharing). Vid 144 not avail on mobile. Currently no access to puter. Any suggestions?
2Persistent2 3 months ago
@2Persistent2 :: I just changed it.
glamazini in reply to 2Persistent2 (Show the comment) 3 months ago
Good point! Looking forward to the next "Free Therapy" video!
MerelyMarie 3 months ago
I will be looking forward to the repent/sorry therapy video!! I really "got" what you were saying about defensiveness....I have been that person for years, and the light went "on" when you were explaining it. After I watched this yesterday, I put it to use and did not plead my cases. did not look at my reasoning as a case either! it was uncomfortable but empowering at the same time. thank you so much for this video.
sydnisd183 3 months ago
Love, love, love ya' for this vid, sis. So true. Ppl are more repetitive than they are "repented". I can't stand for a person to be overly "sorry". I'm thinking you've already apologized. Now, you want to give me the play back on what happen (very loudly) and how you hope I'm o.k. That gets on my last nerve. It's not as if I ended up in the hospital. When folks over do things, I'm thinking your compensating for something else you're lacking and refusing to deal with that issue.
zheahra 3 months ago
God said, Let your Nay be Nay and your Yeah be Yeah...
Move on...
Thepurfectme 3 months ago in playlist More videos from glamazini
Thank you for sharing your perspective on defensiveness. I never thought of it as giving away my power. I certainly get what you were saying. I have been overly defensive in the past and am still working on not being defensive in certain areas of my life. There were times when I felt I was powerless. This video has helped me. I will keep it in mind as I go through my day.
machjz 3 months ago
your such an intelligent person
ebonyeyes22 3 months ago
I have done the same thing when a person passed me and spoke. I don't think giving an explanation is defensive. I stated "Oh, I didn't hear you, I was concentrating so hard on something". But who cares? I did not feel threatened...lol. It was a very small part of my day (seconds). It would see it as petty for someone to feel frustrated or bothered by my explanation or actions. Good topic!
babyshuf2 3 months ago
@babyshuf2 :: Yeah my example was strange, but in that instance the person said WAY MORE than just "oh I didn't hear you' ... then after the rattling on I said "uh, ok, good morning" and they did it again! I couldn't believe it. Why would you explain yourself for 3-5 minutes TWICE when all you had to say was "good morning". I actually said afterward "uh ... ok ... are you gonna say good morning or not?" LOL!
glamazini in reply to babyshuf2 (Show the comment) 3 months ago
What an awesome video!
DraMaWms 3 months ago
I got it, and glad I watched...thank you!
jenny55818 3 months ago
Powerful...no pun intended
classylil05 3 months ago
I think I needed to hear this right now. I appreciate this very much.
earth2ericanaturally 3 months ago
All I'm gonna say is "thank you"...lol!!!!! I'm keeping my power! God speaks through you so keep speaking!!!!!!!!
Acting1 3 months ago
Thank you!!!! I love you for sharing that. Just what I needed to hear! Thank you Jesus!!!!!
MySelah 3 months ago
This video made perfect sense and I totally agree.
RacquelNM 3 months ago
ok I need more videos from you on this subject I do get the basics though how about what if your family keeps questioning you as to why you are (still) in school. to me if it takes forever they should not be uneasy about it.
astrozier1 3 months ago
@astrozier1 :: Do you have a legitimate reason for your schooling taking the time it's taking? If so, and you've already told them, no need to repeat the same thing over and over. Do what you're doing, finish school, let them be.
glamazini in reply to astrozier1 (Show the comment) 3 months ago
@glamazini yes unfortunately, I have to repeat the classes I am failing and thank you
astrozier1 in reply to glamazini (Show the comment) 3 months ago
Good stuff!!!
Alteregoscorpion 3 months ago
Really needed this message. What a blessing! Thanks so much for posting!
dolphinkillerwhale 3 months ago
Hello! I really like your free therapy videos. Do you think there is any situation where someone should be defensive? For me personally I feel like I become defensive when a person says that I said something that I did not say. So I always feel like I have to "explain" myself so that I am not misinterpreted, which is being defensive right? Or is that something totally different?
chizzetel 3 months ago
@chizzetel :: If something is being authentically threatened then I think defensiveness is appropriate ... to a point. In the example you gave I suppose I could see a quick concise "clarification statement" being made, then if the accuser keeps on with the lies I would just leave them be, no need giving more power to a person not seeking truth.
glamazini in reply to chizzetel (Show the comment) 3 months ago
Also, some people's temperament are such that they are extremely talkative. I am not saying that in some cases defensiveness may not come into play. However, I tend to analyze people on an individual basis rather than grouping everyone into one big mass. In addition, we should strive to analyze our own reactions to certain scenarios.
tashnik 3 months ago
@tashnik :: Now see, I am super talkative but I still think you can be a blabbermouth and not always be prone to defend everything you do like you're in a courtroom.
glamazini in reply to tashnik (Show the comment) 3 months ago
Hey sis I understand your stance and I disagree with the example you provided. I dont agree that when someone clarifies their position they are necessarily being defensive. Personally, when I explain my self it is usually to prevent miscommunication and misunderstanding. In addition, I dont like when people's feelings get hurt. So in the example that you gave if I did not hear when someone said good morning to me, my personality is such that I have to let them know "Hey its not you..its me"
tashnik 3 months ago
@tashnik :: Yeah, my example was strange but my sentiment is still the same. I suppose if someone is an "explain because of miscommunication" type, this video will let them at least know that some people interpret that as "doing the most" and "defensive" *shrug*
glamazini in reply to tashnik (Show the comment) 3 months ago
@tashnik IA with this assessment of the scenario. But I do understand the how defensiveness and the need to explain oneself to folks go hand in hand. This is a great conversation to have, thanks for the free therapy.
nerdynap in reply to tashnik (Show the comment) 3 months ago
Love these Free Therapy videos.
Sofrolushes 3 months ago
Great video. There's a lot of truth in what you say. Love it!
ToyabooView 3 months ago
Thanks for talking about that :)
LLetitiaV 3 months ago
Hey Sis! was just wondering how u were, and then a video showed up. ;-) Hope you had a wonderful holiday. I understand what you were saying. I think it's an automatic reaction 2 be defensive. which may b hard 2 change, but none the less, can b changed. I almost think some people expect u 2 explain why u didn't answer or respond. The third time a person says hello, may b with attitude and therefore invoke a defensive response. so it could go both ways. ie.."I said HELLO!!!' u see what i mean?
naturalhairful 3 months ago
@naturalhairful :: LOL. Yeah I see what you mean, but the person in the example I was trying to give has a track record of defensiveness so it triggered my video :) Either way, I'm never a fan of when people do that and I do think some people are prone to it more than others.
glamazini in reply to naturalhairful (Show the comment) 3 months ago