MST3K #602: Invasion USA [Part 7]

[DarkArtistKaiser]

This movie is what conservatives believe will happen if we decrease our spending in defense even by alittle.

[thefaboloussob]

5:38 Mike kinda makes sense. The Hundred Years' War was 16 years too long.

[thefaboloussob]

5:09 "Finally tonight, a walrus in Turkey connects w/ her inner Miles Davis as he gets down w/ a sax! Check it out!" (Seriously, stop by to view also on Youtube a saxophone-playing walrus. I discovered it by typing "funny animal + saxophone.")

[thefaboloussob]

1. O big whoop. "10.5 Apocalypse" did a better job destroying the Boulder (now Hoover) Damn. & that movie was just as crappy!

2. 3:37 The taxi desperately tries 2 outrun news footage of the Brahmaputra River overflowing it's banks.

[uruseiranma]

"Billions of dollars of property lost to the American people forever, because we did not provide a strong enough Army to protect ourselves."

Hey, that's not news! That's an opinion! If that newscaster feels so strongly about it, why doesn't he get his own talk show?

[pretorious700]

So that's what Patty Dukes' dad did for work.

[theMAG101]

"Mwah, you're a Hindu."

[customcartoons]

6:50 "it's not that funny when it's true, ed!"

XD luv it!

[Applemask]

7:42 - "It's only castles burning."

[Applemask]

"This is our war..."

[Llamabob9]

wow. thay killed the children. before i thought this movie was just stupid but now it has officially pissed me off.

[pretorious700]

@Llamabob9 Well, the scene was so poorly executed it's hard to get too upset.

[disradiance]

freedom fighters was an awesome game

[katrina2323]

The bar scene just after 6:00 - This is exactly what it's like to have a conversation in Alberta.

Also: Thanks, Hack Blowfist!

[ClvrNmsSux]

"Tim you're a character. What are you going to do now that there is a war on?""Same thing I did in the last couple of wars, shake daiquiris." "A Patriot."

[masticina]

*atomic bomb blows up hoover damn*

Erm..yeah doesn't makes sense unless the explosion is under water. Then again obviously movies like these wouldn't have researched such matters.

[thedarkpoets]

"Don't let them get to the gift shop!"

"Uh how do I not dive anymore"

"Apparently I'm to good looking"

[elfinfluff]

Distance from New York to Moscow: ~4600m.

Distance from London to Moscow: ~1500m.

Range of B-50 Superfortress: 2,400m.

Apparently, Russia can sneak several hundred bombers into New York, well outside any bomber range at the time, while the tens of thousands of US and Allied troops in Western Europe are sleeping in, I guess.

This movie never ceases to amaze me with how stupid it is. Always new bullcrap to spot with each watch.

[Reelbigearth]

don't forget the fact of how the radiation from the amount of Atomic bombs dropped would result in a world wide radiated area.

[pretorious700]

@elfinfluff Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how that Mig created a mushroom cloud.

[uruseiranma]

@elfinfluff

Well, when you see how the film ends, then you can probably figure why some of the more glaring facts were omitted. :P

[SlvrSmrai759]

This is so dumb, the USSR wouldn't have gone for a full-out invasion of the USA, there'd be no way to protect their country, especially from the other countries that wouldn't just sit around while they try to conquer most of the world.

All this movie does is make the guys who weren't American enough in the beginning scene die from commies, because our armies weren't strong enough.

[EternalGuardian07]

"Let Jack do it!"

Crow: What the hell!?

[antistrunt]

Man, that cab driver gets more acting in than the rest of the cast combined...

"WHEE! HU-OH! WOOHOOoo! Oh crap we're dead."

(That intense, brooding state... He's the Russell Crowe of the 50ies.)

[FNGLHR]

"Do you really think they'll bomb New York?"

"They threatened to, we didn't want to release it on the wire because we didn't want to start a panic."

Mike: We'd thought it would be a nice surprise.

Yeah, thousands of people will be outside when the bombs drop and they'll all die because you didn't warn them to get to shelter earlier, but thats okay, at least it didn't start a panic.

Asshole.

[moewron]

Yeah! Good point! it's almost like this movie isn't very good...

[FNGLHR]

Pointing out a movie's flaws is what a critic does. If you're trying to call me a captain obvious you might as well complain about it to everyone else here. I mean no offense, but I know everyone else here knows this movie is bad. I was pointing out something I found particularly stupid.

[moewron]

Fair enough! lord knows there's plenty of Particularly Stupid to point out in this movie. =)

[faustinesea]

"Guess the water knew a shortcut, huh?"

"Boy, when that doll wets..."

[FNGLHR]

"This movie makes me pine for Red Dawn."

At least the acting in that movie was good!

By the way, who was screaming "The dam's broken!" I mean it was in the middle of the damn road!

This movie is so stupid.

[sokarsfleet]

Those bastards are already at the hoover dam!

[86thPatriot]

Soldier:"What's that?"

Crow:"It's about a dozen jets heading this way...OH MY GOD!"

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Not that funny, when it's true, Ed!

[TitenSxull]

as black friday "or freaky friday"

"Come to this war often?"

"God I'm smooth... anyway"

[Ritly13]

Jeez, Atomic bombs, Atomic missiles, Atomic torpedoes. What's next, Atomic Bullets?

[pravusprime]

LOL, truly. I also like how they have to drop dozens of them at once, and how an Atomic Torpedo doesn't annihilate a ship and the surrounding water, instead merely setting it ablaze.

[BekurahToshin]

lol ...Bob. XD

[MoJoelRizing]

In his first and only appearance on the show:

Mike Dodge as Bob the bomb.

Film Crew fans will recognize his voice as

that of Bob Honcho, their eccentric mogul boss.

[ziggytim]

scorched earth is such a stupid policy. would the day to day lives of most americans change under ussr rule?

[Knobbyboy88]

Yes, actually. Ya know...what with the re-education camp round-ups and bourgeoise witch-hunts that usually follow Communist conquests...

[ziggytim]

hmm, you're right. i hadn't thought of that. forty lashes and back to the history books for me!

[ericfuchs123]

If these losers are the Americans, I think I'll be flying the Hammer and Sickle over here. Go USSR! Crush those poorly acted Capitalist pigs!

[dalekStewie]

jengaaa jengaaa jengaaa... jenga!!! LOL

[DVonTaintstain]

Wasn't there a joke where after the car is swept away by the flood, Mike or one of the bots quip 'Fast enough?,' as if the driver was replying to the wife. Or was this another episode I'm thinking of?

[Kinemacolour]

I've figured this movie out! 'Tis but a dream!

[kc0902]

"Despite the best efforts of the little Dutch boy..."

[silverage59]

"Paula, There may not be much time left... but in the few days there are i want to spend them with you" or should i say boinking you, lol!

[silverage59]

"stock footage at 3 O'Clock"

[THATSAWLUNEED2NO]

Wow more stock footage.

Duh dun da dun dun dun---EAT IT MOVIE!

[christimacc]

"The meter's still running, Pal!"

[Ivyandstone]

"The Guns of Navarone versus the Demonic Toys!"

[SoundsmithOne]

...and Dollman is there!

[kindersczenen]

"Vince Coleman's final revenge!"

[garthennis]

Listen closely when the taxi arrives to pick up the redneck's family: one of his kids actually asks him "Did you bring me something?" Apparently the fact that there's a war on has slipped right by her.

[glenbw]

"I blame this on Exxon."

[sergio138303]

Ed:"Like the fella said, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die."

Crow:"Not that funny when it's true Ed!"

What crow said is funny because it's true.

[leto17]

"Central Casting sent over a family"

[Crazyoldmerc]

"If you shoot em down ya just gotta clean em up!"

[mst3k92]

The A-bomb has MJ-P on it. Mary Jo Pehl?

[TRUFFL3S]

"Stock footage at three o' clock"

"Boy, when that doll wets..."

"...and Allstate is there"

"He's got cirrhosis of the liver, ha ha ha"

[Keighvin1]

Am I the only one who thought the taxi driver was laughing in the middle of being told the dam was breached?

[SoundsmithOne]

"Sir, you're up to about $11,000... sure you don't want me to drop ya off?"

[donna637]

Folks, the TV announcer in this segment is William Schallert, the gent that played Martin Lane in the Patty Duke Show in the 1960's.

[bribabytt]

Good catch!

[brucearmstrong1]

William Schallert is known as the "Atomic Actor," since he did so many B-movies with an atomic theme ("Them" and "Invasion USA," just to mention two)

[ElveeKaye]

Woman to cab driver:"FASTER! FASTER!!"

*water slams into car*

Cab driver: "Fast enough for ya, ma'am?"

[fdragon010]

Yah know with all of these "atomic weapons" going off you would think they would have a nucleur holocaust about now woudln't you?

[Dagger33]

I know. I always thought it was ridiculous that a nuclear war would have used nuclear weapons against little silos that had already launched their missiles. Imagine some military guy saying, "We need to sink a carrier...let's use a nuke!"

[HystericalWoman]

Ironically, the Russians used that same "Scorched Earth" technique against the Nazi invaders.

[Thesynapze]

"You know what they say, 'Eat, drink, and be merry, because tomorrow you die'".

"It's not funny when it's true, Ed."

[outmywindow]

"Stock footage at three o'clock."

"God I'm smooth. Anyway..."

[sixfeetjenna]

"Ironically he always used to leave his hat in cabs"

[Nurdbot]

God, don't we just love these lovely cold war invasion films chock full of senseless death?

[hackpuppet]

Yeah, this thing's surprisingly grim.

[ElveeKaye]

Yet, everyone manages to keep their hair, makeup, and clothes looking perfect. Gotta admire their determination to carry on as usual in the face of mass invasion.

[christimacc]

LOL! Especially that reporter and that dame. God forbid that the possibility of total destruction during a violent mass invasion should interrupt a burgeoning romance.

[MoJoelRizing]

"This makes me long for RED DAWN..."

"Do you come to this war often?"

[DireSloth]

"And Allstate is there" XD