Chris-chan: Father Call [5/14] (11-5-09)

[MawBTS]

laughing my ass off here

[BoukenCrimson]

Bob and Barbara must have spoiled Chris rotten.

[dominoes54]

you guys are going to temp him with a women, and then criticize him for trying. who are you people, what have you amounted to. his disability holds him back whats your exuse.

[pghg022]

you dont know hot, youf been out in the fucking shit *giggle* *secret troll face*

[TakuraLioness]

"I am a grown up I moved on from the childish things" Oh what a horrible lie. Look at all those toys and junk in his room! Had he grown up, he would have gotten rid all of that useless junk, and given them to a donation or sold them on ebay or SOMETHING. Sure I still have a FEW kid things, but I got rid of all my toys and things that I had growing up.

[epiclulz66]

Chris honestly believes pulling weeds is hard work, but what can you expect from someone who thinks soda cans weigh 50 pounds and he is very STRONG for lifting soda cans 50 times, cant do a push up, cant do a pull up and takes an hour to run 500 feet.

[CaptainPengu]

PULL THOSE WEEDS CHRIS.

[Kyleloyd]

an an an and i i i uh

this unbearable to listen to sometimes with chris stuttering all the time.

[TheApatheticGuy]

Those were very hot daaaays

And I pulled those weeeeeds

[TheSPACECOWBOY33]

matt's really good he could have gone balistic but he kept his cool

[UnOwenWasHere]

I notice this guy has a tourette where he whispers after every sentence....interesting

[ShrubberySalesman]

@UnOwenWasHere I don't think that's the case, Kacey's father is obviously a troll and is just whispering to someone else.

[UnOwenWasHere]

@ShrubberySalesman lol no. I don't think so. He's trolling but I highly doubt he's whispering to someone else

[ShrubberySalesman]

@UnOwenWasHere You're probably right.

[spicandspamful]

@UnOwenWasHere the fuck are you talking about?

[TruenoandLevin86]

@UnOwenWasHere It was an inside job set up by a few people. He's whispering to someone.

[MercenaryFox]

I think both are pathetic, sorry :c

[Frozone470]

I gotta say, I just got a job again, and I don't exactly make the most money, but I listen to this call every time I start to sense that "laziness" creeping up, so I can remind myself to never be like Chris. I'm aiming as high as I can lol just from this call

[SpamLizzo]

Matt: My mother was killed by TERRORISTS!

Chris:...yeah well bla bla...

What a piece of shit.

[MrToastOmnomnom]

Pokeman shit?!

LOL XDDD

I love pokeman c:

[BlueChameleon01]

Pull weeds erryday.

[razetora]

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I STUBBED MY TOE YESTERDAY WATERING MY SPICE GARDEN AND I ONLY CRIED FOR FIVE MINUTES!

[theworldisquare]

He even MOWED THE LAWN AND CARRIED A TEN TON DOG HOUSE

[Edfan10]

Chris-chan's strategies in conversations:

1. Say exactly what the other person says except add in "No, I am not..."

2. After someone says something that is important to them, respond with a "ya" and immediately go back to what you were talking about. ORR

3. Try to sound compassionate by apologizing after hearing a heart-breaking story or sound interested in what they are saying...then immediately go back to what you were talking about.

[superbrawlman05]

=D

[AngryCrowTakesFlight]

200 push ups in a day is nothing lol. while i was in the army i had to do around 500-600 a day.

[NorrisArt]

OMG MOWING THE LAWN THAT'S SO BRUTAL

[Camdude90]

I want matt's voice

[sergeilebedev2007]

jesus, you see kids with downs syndrome working at gas stations, convenience stores, etc; get a job chris....

[anguspage45]

I WORKED FOR MY FATHER IN HIS GAR-IN HIS GAR-.. IN HIS GARDEN.

[hunna122]

LOL I had to kick that mower with my foot lol he should try kick starting a 1000cc street bike its like drop kicking a tongan

[PeteTheElit3]

chris encouraged me to retake my summer job, and maybe even look for another one. They should play his videos to groups of kids that are thinking of dropping out, it will scar them from ever being pathetic and inspire them to actually not waste their lives.

[sickel101]

Comrade Lenin died.

I carried him back.

[AsterBarnivere]

THOSE WEEDS WERE HARD TO PULL OUT OF THAT SOIL, LET ME TELL YOU... THAT WAS SOME FUCKIN' HARD WORK, SCREW YOUR GRANNY..

[Irrelevant402]

God I love the moment where he lists qualities that he doesn't have. "I am honest, I am loyal, I am sta-wrong!"

[LordOcelot]

Holy shit, autism much? 6:00

[SlamageEntertainment]

@LordOcelot /watch?v=zBYoDytMzus this guys brother is autistic and can do what ever chris doesn't feel like doing

[danthedementor2793]

Chris inspired me to get a girlfriend. I did.

[SupaMarioX]

@danthedementor2793 "That was very heroic, and I commend you for that, good sir."

[rabidsi]

I EVEN MOWED THE LAWN! FUCK YOU!

[rabidsi]

THOSE WERE VERY HOT DAYS. AND I PULLED THOSE WEEDS. MAN.

[LondoninColouredRain]

I'm aware that Chris has autism and whatever, but in this phonecall he is being a serious arsehole.

[Udany147]

WELL, I never realised he pulled weeds! My opinion of him has changed for the better.

[UTAU53Yui]

<doghouse

<tons

wat

[SNESosT]

"those weeds are very hard to pull" rofl, god u suck chris.

[sporedoutofmymind]

I can't believe Chris thought this guy was a 50+ year old male.. lol

[jmerridew124]

Oh GOD THIS HURTS TO LISTEN TO

SO CRINGEY

FUCK I LOL'D

[MB69RatedR]

Haha I'm glad Matthew's mother died

[TheRayman1110]

@MB69RatedR Matt isn't real, he's a troll.

[MB69RatedR]

@TheRayman1110 Yea, I know

[RadicalLightning]

Dog house must've been the weight of like 3 elephants by Chris's logic.

[helechoanarquista]

i hate it when the trolls actually force me to sympathize with chris. chris is bad, but the guy playing the dad is worse. he seems like he really believes he was a marine, and that he deserves respect as a former(fake)marine.

[ecuasxaz]

I PULLED WEEDS! :O omg,Chris, REALLY? I spend 5+ hours a day in MY garden, doing a hell of alot more than just pulling weeds, to help feed my family.....and you complain about pulling weeds....what a lazy ass

[tripdefect87]

HE PULLED WEEDS PEOPLE

HE PULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLED WEEDS!

SOMEBODY GIVE THAT TARD A MEDAL!

[Brownaliers]

how is his dog house 10 tons! that would be 20,000 pounds! Wow that must be a fat dog

[BootyFister]

HOW CAN MATT NOT LOL THE WHOLE TIME????

[sirpico123]

@BootyFister maybe he realises its so sad and chris is very seriously delusional

[BootyFister]

@sirpico123 LOL TRUE. I'D STILL LOL, THOUGH.

[Termiborger]

@BootyFister I assume he had some kind of acting training before, or read Chris chan's ED page to prepare. But we gotta agree, he did some pretty impressive trolling job here.

[BootyFister]

@Termiborger SURE IS.

[444Tazer]

I'm beginning to think Matt was a member of the G.I. Joes.

[ThelronFjord]

@444Tazer And judging by that one video of him, he must be Sergeant Slaughter.

[NyxFTW]

Matt was an ex-Marine who went to Desert Storm.

The Gulf War.

Had a wife and kids with a job at 27.

Pulled his dead mother out of the rubble on 9/11.

Daughter gave blood and plasma during 9/11.

Chris never had the chance.

[thebirdiswatching01]

We have established that by virtue of having a job and not being a total waste of space makes you superior to CWC.

So why does "Matt" feel compelled to make up shit about having been a Marine, served in Desert Storm and losing relatives in 9/11 just to troll Chris? Normally somebody who claims to be a veteran in order to one-up somebody else, would be described as pathetic himself.

[thereaIblackcerberus]

@thebirdiswatching01 You don't honestly think he was trying to fool anyone other than Chris, do you? Seriously?

[Resian111]

Those were very hot daaaays. And I pulled those weeeeeeds.

Planted them labels hard. LIKE A MAN!!!

[eyholmess]

@Resian111 Imagine the sweating and sighing while pulling some goddamned weeds. CWC is a failure of superhuman proportions.

[Kristanni20X6]

@Resian111 LIKE A BOSS

[wendalboy]

i think its great chris is spending americas tax money on kids toys, games and sex toys

[Krauserowns]

dry heat is easy mode. matt is a pussy

[ReggaeMetalFox]

Those were very hot days... AND I PULLED THOSE WEEDS.

Oh Chris-chan, what a hero you are :')

[frantheman180]

I HAD TO PICK WEEDS IN THE SUN. CLEARLY I HAVE SUFFERED AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF PAIN!!!!!

[DrTheKay]

You looked like you were flopping around........like a.......fish..................­......it kinds looked like you were humping the floor

[DrTheKay]

Too bad chris hasnt learned anything from this, and i aint talking about how to detect a troll

[halodystroyer44]

i think this is my alltime favorite troll

[Athils]

He will never get over his dog dying. What was that, like ten years ago? Seriously, a pet dying sucks, but who invokes it in conversation YEARS LATER?!!

[cccraigify]

chrischan disliked the video?

[TheLanceChannel]

"I have not played with pokemon for years, sir!"

"So what do you play with?"

BEST. RESPONSE. EVER.

[KatyushaRockets]

CHRIS CHAN IS STRONG

HE CAN LIFT AN ENTIRE KRISPY KREME DONUT BOX

[TheDisturbedOne752]

Chris-Chan, the very definition of "In one ear, out the other."

[streeterville773]

*facepalm*

[ReGZeta]

If you look closely at the House Tour video or the one where he shows off his fighting skills, you can see that the Chandlers have a rideable mower.

Repeat, a rideable mower.

Only Chris could possibly complain about an activity where all he does is sit on his ass.

[videogamenostalgia]

@ReGZeta To be fair, Bob probably doesn't let 'that damn retard' anywhere near his machines, seeing as how Chris can't touch anything without fucking it up.

[MrFluffyRedGyarados]

@ReGZeta Odds are he has a weed whacker, and an electrical hammer, as well.

[GmodCaboose56]

Why is Chris complaining about mowing the lawn?? My Grandfather has arthritis and he can mow the friggen lawn xD.

[Spacenuggetcadet]

Chris has inspired me to register for college this semester... Thank you, Chris.

[JohnMooreification]

@Spacenuggetcadet I know what you mean! Watching CWC videos just makes me want to sprint out to the job centre!

...After a few more hours browsing the CWCiki.

[quietrioter]

chris...i may not do garden work like you complain about but thats nothing compared to being in the Middle East desert, digging your grandma out of rubble, carried a tombstone and your dead comrade across the desert, and fucking took a bullet to the chest

[Aerozyphyr]

"trials and tribulations" ha,yeah right.That reminds me,Chris better not touch the Phoenix Wright series...EVER!!!

[DrNo0Entertainment1]

wonder if that lawn mower was one of those that you ride on

[kaozbender]

I HAVE TO STAND UP AND PLAY GUITAR!

[sexhaie]

Chris is so fucking whiney, "i had to lift the dog house and pull weeds in the hot hot hot unforgiving (did i mention it was extremely hot?) sun! ;-;" oh wow chris, next your gunna whine about how you had to walk to the frint door, your already bitching about standing during guitar hero. I may work in fast food, but i do alot more work, and take more shit from people everyday, then chris has in his emtire fucking pathatic life!

[MrMatamusca]

This situation of power over Chris is freakin genius and i commend him. Too bad he's not exactly eloquent. But the Veteran bit was awesome.

[paranoidude]

Kacey's dad sounds amazing.

Can I trade in my dad for the war vet?

[StewartJerk]

@paranoidude To me someone who says "I'm an ex-marine and I'll kick your ass!" is NO hero, they are insecure bully, is that what they teach people in the military? Anyway My grandpa was a TRUE war vet and he would never use his military status to try to intimidate someone.

[ferretgeneralken]

What the he'll kind of dog house weighs 5 tons?!!!! A better question would anyone letalone chris!, lift it?

[TAXEXEMPTION]

the pic of the comic chris facepalming reminds me of the sonichu episode where he yells FIDDLECAAAAAKES.

[TheSpiralDownward]

6:59 "I even mowed the lawn!"

OH Shit, guys!

[Funkybob2]

This part of the call may very well be the funniest, yet most pathetic, thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I had to pause the video when he said, "I even mowed the lawn!"

"

[StewartJerk]

Can you immagine if it were the other way around and say the parent of a son calling a girl who has a crush on him and giving her the 3rd degree like that? LOL

[StewartJerk]

@RedVelvetIcing Sound slike his daughter still lives at home too with her DADDY, so what's the difference? She would have to be as old as Chris I assume.

[Hyenajaws]

"In his gar- in his gar- in his gar-..."

[AsterBarnivere]

Standing up to play guitar is hard fucking work amirite?

[FreakSpazKing]

@AsterBarnivere yah god every time i pick up that controller i feel like i need to take a breather

[belgianmobster17]

@RetroSonicFTW You know when you study monkeys and see how simmilar they are to humans and it makes you depressed for the future of the human race? yeah, chris did that to me when i first found out about him

[ErikaAtheist]

@Cardboredbawx I changed my lifestyle because of him XD

[Coverfire14]

The mother thing was obviously a fake story given they were trolling him, but he believed it was real and he still compared the death of his dog to someone losing their mother.

Even though he has Asperger's and lacks empathy, when he has this broken down for him and explained that many times and still fails to see why he's being a total dick, that just proves Chris is pretty fucked up.

So I guess that means we should troll harder, right?

[SatanicMetalGoth]

i still play pokemon and sonic the hedgehog .-.

[dakarus]

This guy sounds fake

[PsykoSquid]

Oh Chris, you are Pathetic. Doing things old women and children do, and acting like it is hard work.

[halodystroyer44]

i can't believe chris chan thinks this guy is her real father

[belgianmobster17]

@halodystroyer44 don't kill the buzz, kacey's dad the awesome voiced former marine destroying chris is a thought too good pass up

[halodystroyer44]

@belgianmobster17 lol okay

[Hampsterboy420]

@Cardboredbawx

Rest easy, good sir. It's impossible to go as low as Chris Chan

[BendyStraw101]

I am very strong, I pulled weeds and it was really hard! >D

[Remedy13]

" you don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit"

lmao!

[PsykoSquid]

@Remedy13 LOL

[BuggZee]

I'm just curious is this whole thing with Chris_chan an act by actors, or is it the real deal?

[Shmuklidooha]

@BuggZee Its too elabotate to be made by actors. So unfortunately, it's real. The father's a troll though.

[PodMaster2009]

@BuggZee well, as happens with Like Tommy Wiseau, the world may never know.

[Psquit]

@Cardboredbawx true! dude!

[InvertedHorizon]

I think it's good Chris-chan "leeches" off welfare. He seems genuinely unfit for any sort of work.

[gabba1gabba1hey]

i have not played with pokemans in years, sir.

[Psquit]

@gabba1gabba1hey i never play with pokemons they were fucking gay

[awesome220]

I love how he equates standard chores with being some type of feat to be proud of.

[awesome220]

Moved on from Pokemon years ago??? lol

[alphaguy50]

love it

[fruitblood]

Remember, you're not a real man unless you pull weeds.

[halowarrior1000]

As a kid I hammered hundreds of nails with my dad making dog houses. I never got tired. Now I help people in woodshop class with nailing jobs.

[DoctorSubmarine]

CWC: Your tax dollars at work, America.

[darkhyena]

Kacey's father vs Bob Chandler!!! That would be a matchup to hear!

[StewartJerk]

@darkhyena Bob would tear him a new asshole I HOPE!  I don't like the guy.

[videogamenostalgia]

mow the lawn! Sometimes it quits on you! BAAAWWWW. When I was 18, I mowed the lawn of a friend for money, and even then it was considered a cop-out and people were telling me I should get a real fucking job!

[StewartJerk]

@videogamenostalgia I think that is SO stupid. If it PAYS it's a REAL JOB. I hate when people resent people for having a somewhat easy job. I mean what the hell busniess is it of theres just because someone's not out busting their ass 40hours a week. It's if I have a job filing, book-keeping and basically being a secretary here AT HOME for my uncle and he pays me well, people are gonna be ragging on my ass for not having a 9-5 punch a time clock job.

[videogamenostalgia]

@StewartJerk Book-keeping and being a secretary requires a measure of skill and effort. Any retard can mow the lawn- it isn't back breaking labour.



[StewartJerk]

@videogamenostalgia Well my uncle ran a wood company and all I did was take his phone calls, filed his paper work, wrote his appointments down and he paid me to do so, and people still looked down and me and were like, "When are you gonna get a REAL job?" As if I had a fake job. lol I just hate when people are jelouse just b/c they have to bust their asses as a 9-5 they resent me for getting a break. And if a lawn mowing job pays well, what's the big deal?

[loekust]

@StewartJerk

imo having a job is better than being unemployed. doesn't matter what job it is. as long as you're working and making money, you're contributing to society in some way.

[StewartJerk]

@loekust What about stay-at-home parents? Housewives/househusbands?

[TheFed0ra]

"I have to stand up to play guitar!"

OH! Oh wow, guys! The poor baby has to STAND to play a little, plastic guitar. Honestly, I'd like to see him hold a real guitar for as long as he can. Doubt he'd get far, though.

[PAVN]

@Cardboredbawx It is time to reveal the true secret of CWC. He was created by the government for this very reason- to inspire young people to do more than sit on the ass and play video games.

[THEANIMEPERV]

i feel imbaris for likeing pokemon and sonic the hedgehog becouse of crischan damn it and im 26 crischan shude be beaten to death by a army of pissed off people D-:< this other cris sounds like a really cool guy kasey shude be with him not crischan cwc is a creepy loser who shude have never been born.

[TheCryoScales]

Goddamn Chris should just start making shit up already. The fact he's trying to embellish his pathetic truth is just sad.

[1282930210]

'Kacey': ...and you just play with toys and video games, like pokemon and shit, is that what you do with your welfare money...

Chris: I have not played pokemon in years, sir... I also play guitar hero... I pull weeds and work all day...

Chris, entirely missing the point and coming off like a 12 year old trying to be a big boy

[Venix94YT]

I think we should just stick Chris in the military.. See how he copes.

[sasuke2ndstate98]

both my dogs that have died have been put to sleep when i was a child, 1 died 5 years ago and the other half a year ago. i get over it. i know how sad it is but you have to get over it and get on with your life. oh and i mowed the lawn when i was seven for no pay and i didnt complain at all

[SerenityM16]

@Cardboredbawx Funny, my sister reacts the same way, and to an extent I do to, I usually wind up catching up on all Chris has done, just when i think he couldn't be any worse, I get proven wrong.

[SerenityM16]

Out of curiosity cause I'm terrible with date, when was the Geneva (or however it's spelt cause I'm terrible at spelling to, that's what spellcheck got me, hopefully it's right) Convention and when was Desert Storm, I just want to know if they even had like, standards as to what could and couldn't be done or carried. Like with things that couldn't be treated if they survived the battle field.

[conadz15]

I had to carry a DOG HOUSE! Maybe five or SIX pieces of wood and a ROOF!!! A ROOF!!!

[Checkmate409]

ok...so Chris-chan's lifetime achievements include and are probably limited to being a pokemanz gym leader dreaming of having a daughter named Crystal Original creation of 2 copyrighted characters put together pulling weeds...on a hot hot day mowing the lawn pulling a 5-6 ton dog house to the dog's final resting place making all this shit sound important and most importantly Never earning a single dime for any of it. Lets hear it for Ian Brandon Something everybody! ............................

[KoeiLuminis]

In all honesty, I think Chris chan is a good thing for society. He might spend America's tax money, but at least he's becoming inspiration for all kids out there to not end up like him. Maybe because of him, less people will have to rely on welfare in the future.

[ErikaAtheist]

@KoeiLuminis Maybe hes a Bio Tool developed by the American Government to lower the need of Welfare and set an example for people to not turn out like him. They forced him to use the internet aswell as injecting him with a special type of mental ilness X3

[Frozone470]

@KoeiLuminis i can tell you right now my will has doubled not to end up like this idiot

[SlashPrower34]

"I even mowed the lawn!"

OH SHIT GUYS HE MOWED THE LAWN WE BETTER BACK OFF

[Retribution077]

@SlashPrower34 I rather be inside playing my pokemans than outside in the heat mowing the lawn, soopid mothafucka. Shit is overated.

[FullMetalSatomi]

@SlashPrower34 AW SHIT. LIKE 8-YEAR-OLDS DO THAT NOW. XD

[GreyMatter00Duh]

@SlashPrower34 HE PULLED THOSE WE-HE-EDS!

[Carnage1235]

I can imagine Chris going "Sir, sir you are going to...........going to make me mmmmm... Cry".

[Bubbleflum]

3:36 Himself.

[didjargo]

Wow, a ten ton doghouse. What? Did it stand 50 feet and was made out of solid lead?

[scales78]

poor Chris had to mow the lawn in the dreadful heat...sure was hard riding that lawnmower the whole time

[Decapita24]

I had to mow neighbor's lawns on very hot days too... Yes, it was bothersome, but not tortuous. =/ Man, what a pathetic bitch.

[HuaYifu]

"I had to dig my my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers..."

Does this guy think he's funny?

[nickblaze420]

i pulled weeds.... in the hot sun.... it was torture.... WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAH

[sepeeler]

"Gutar Hero? The hell is that?"

XD

But seriously, I am LOVING this man ripping on this useless human being.

[FranticUprising]

@Cardboredbawx I completely agree but at the same time it makes you want to slack off, because no matter what you do, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! you'll never be as pathetic as chris

[DJEmma]

chris makes me wanna work harder. that's the ONLY good thing about him

[rainbowIchigo]

@Cardboredbawx

This. I've recently gone out jogging 5 days a week, studied harder, find and apply to more jobs, and improve my art skills. Thanks for the inspiration Chris-chan, ya sad, lonely, pathetic fuck!

[Altter221]

@rainbowIchigo Any where i could see your drawings , i would happily see the results. :)

[rainbowIchigo]

@Altter221

i am sewermonstar on dA :) all my drawings are there