Mother Goose - Andrew "Dice" Clay (Dice Rules)

[bonham13]

Christ, it's like he was created from lesser douche bags in a factory to make the ultimate tool. Thank God he can't get a gig anymore and now is walking joke.

[yesitwas5]

think twice befor you go see Andrew Dice 

[theturntablehermit]

Diceman was funny...But as you can see from this video, white trash fucked his career up. Look at some of these fans, the type that'll go to Hooters to eat, like Monster Trucks, Slim Jims, smash a beer can on their heads, etc...He forgot to be funny cause he was too busy playing up for them.

[IamMarcosMiami]

I might have a seizure with this editing. x.x 

[BlueRoseRocketBand2]

Funny shit!! Just too Hard Core for sheep. Wish he had kept at it.

My ribs hurt from Laughing!

[joshgallegos11]

everyone is hating on the dice! wtf this guy used to open for rock bands, he opened for guns n roses at the la coliseum! *biggest band of the time* and axl personally asked him, come the fuck on haters! who compares to that! eddie murphy is about the only one!

[personifiedx3]

Thanks! Gr8 stuff.

[hoharty]

the worst sh*t I have ever seen - In fact I know for a fact that Dice himself CANNOT watch this video ! u know it Andrew !

[flacidtool]

Crowd is full of fuckin goombahs

[bazbonehead]

i've just realized this is EXACTLY who Quagmire from family guy is based on. all the phrasing, all the 'OHHHHH!"s and what almost sounds like giggity giggity at 1:43, i rest my case

[tweetyluvz14]

Yall asses tht say hes n idiot u people dont understand him simple minded jerks GET OUT!!

[mindtraffic2008]

Hick, dick, cock,

He should be in the Dock,

His IQ is One

The crowd ate fried chicken

Hick Dick Cock.

[rouncer81]

this guy is a horrible idiot.

[eyesthatshine]

Mark this day as the official downfall of western civilization

[KitFallapart]

Jesus christ this is awful. And what a crowd full of retards.

[jagerbomb333]

She ate his asshole very nice, tongued his balls not once but twice. Haha.

[HornedWarMachine]

Hahahahaha the only thing that makes me laugh is how unfunny this is, he just swears and murders old nursery rhymes and all these people are cheering it like it's "new". That's fuckin hilarious.

[themoj0]

@HornedWarMachine Thats because when this was taped..it WAS new. This is ancient

[MonacoBlast]

Before the Sopranos there was the Dice man.

[jchristian3]

Gross

[oakand]

this is jersey not snooki and all the tards on jersey shore

[LateButHere]

The good old days!!!!!!!

[ztwntyn8]

the chic @ 2:35 knows she would do it.

[greggualtieri]

Classic clay!

[rage1umr]

Alec Baldwin at 3:07.

[peinerchestical]

1:47 funniest part

[vexun11]

Stadium full of white trash lol

[rage1umr]

@vexun11

And a YouTube troll named 'vexun11'.

[MrLatour48]

THE FUCKING BEST MAN !!!

[kanemura93]

What's up with the Michael J Fox editing?

[blinko656]

@kanemura93 That's bad dude. but funny.. shame on you..

[Bacon22122]

@kanemura93 The funniest Youtube comment I have ever read, I applaud you sir.

[kanemura93]

@Bacon22122 Thank you very much, I was afraid I was being slightly unoriginal since I thought more people here wrote about the same thing! But thanks alot!

[cyfp]

its sad that this decades gritty stadium comedian is fckin dane cook

[windstorm1000]

I'd like to get into bed with him--and I'm gay.

[evanstoler]

@windstorm1000 He hates your kind.

[windstorm1000]

@evanstoler The feeling is mutual.

[chisel954]

The Father of Jersey Shore Kids

[JFKASSASIN]

reminds me of a hitler's speech

[mightyhawksfan]

i go into a bank and the name of my bank is...

[sjmmrcrdd]

Im from newfoundland and this shit is funny!!!!!!!!!!!

[heatbucspies55]

I liek this idk why.

The smoking behind your head thing could be like a really silly bit, or maybe he;s making fun of peopel trying to be cool.

It;s funny ither way though.

[donmurray26]

I remember the 1st time I seen him, nobody since has made me laugh so fucking hard as I did back then. I was in tears and couldn't hardly breathe I laughing so hard.

[GalaticSpaceHero]

This was when he was on top of the world . Throw the Dice ! 

[Antwood33]

You won't understand his comedy unless you're a New Yorker? So I take it New Yorkers don't enjoy jokes that are clever, or witty? They would rather just grunt like idiots for someone who makes dumb noises, swears, and smokes. I guess I'm glad I didn't grow up there.

[ukusapillage]

jew american humour, downgrade and dumb down society...

[MrCincinnatian]

@ukusapillage Although he's Jewish, his bit makes him see like an Italian.

Fail, you anti-semitic bastard.

[ywisdom]

i don't get it....this is not funny at all

[astrosky84]

@justinmyt i had to cover my eyes lol

[blackbearsuk]

and Bill Hicks was playing tiny venues... no justice.

[truenorth1968]

@blackbearsuk Who? LMAO!!!!

[JerseyBoys918]

I believe you were only allowed in with a mullet

[jakejudd]

i cant stand him

[nikossyren88]

BORING

[RednessAlpha]

Wonder how much they paid everyone to get seats and looked amused...

[AlexGrotewohl]

Had people in the '80s never heard profanity before?

[Seshraw]

which part is the funny part?

[aed7161989]

@Seshraw "If the newspapers don't understand how funny it is for 20,000 people to gather in Madison Square Garden, and do old, dirty nursery rhymes, then they can take their papers, and wipe their asses with them."

That's what Dice said, after he got done with this bit. I hope that answers your question.

[aspyossef2000]

sexism racism and stupidty defenitly not a role model

[WhatWouldHarryDo]

Damn all I smell is haters. Whatever jerk off I saw write that the crowd is a bunch of sexist racists it shows you don't get it. Dice Clay just like Sam Kinison says things you don't hear. It's mainly shock value because how pussy our society is today. And if you can't comprehend that then your just another sheep riding on the haters bandwagon

[thehonzie1]

Definately one of the funniest comedians of our time. Love the dice man, he's fucking hilarious.

[MaskedEnergy]

Legend.

[Jptoutant]

video seizures agaiiin! yey

[iamthetank44]

What an awesome video haha.

[alainenriquez]

what a crowd of fucking looooooooooosers! why would you pay to hear material you can recite yourself?

[padraic2001eire]

I have a certain amount of respect for Andrew Dice Clay. To go from performing in front of a relatively small crowd in his 1987 special One Night With Dice to filling Madison Square Garden in 1990 is quite a feat.

His audience, on the other hand, seem loathsome: predominantly, fat, macho, sexist, homophobic and racist males, with a few self-hating women thrown in for good measure.

[spicmanz]

i dont mind dice, but shit the crowd looks like the biggest collection of inbreds.

[MinorSexualAssault]

americans - not the cleverest bunch

[Caeser197806]

@MinorSexualAssault

Agreed!

[domintaor545]

@Alxory

do not talk about a crowd if you can't even spell (mic) you fucking idiot

[Alxory]

this is the most pathetic crowd I have ever seen, including the guy in the leather suit with the mike... makes you feel US will elect a S Palin character as their president at some point; that is obvious now...

[cheapcape]

Fuck her in da can, ow!! LMAO!!

[cheapcape]

dice kicks ass

[BikiniDeathSquad]

I like to think all the people at this show are dead now

[bp408]

@BikiniDeathSquad no, i got a roomate on my couch that went to this. surprise he's not.

[jhohcable]

Boy it's great when people want to tell us all how they're JUST TOO GOOD to like Dice.

[GeorgeJuisce]

hah. way back when. he did it

[searcherboy]

I get it. Some people think a guy smoking and talking out of his @sshole is funny.

[Shwartzie007]

@searcherboy your a fucking retard and your mom should be shot for letting you live.

[TheTallMan35]

This audience identifies with the Dice man because they're New Yorkers just like he is. It gives them a sense of pride to see one of their own achieve so much success, while at the same time he's staying true to his Brooklyn roots and not conforming to societies expectations.

[johnnyhardcore]

was this a benifit for parkinsons.... ok that was too much

[johnnyhardcore]

i thought i was getting the shakes during this

[BiGjOe42000]

The dice man rules bitches!!!

[Makron5]

Was this filmed by Michael J Fox?

[johnnyhardcore]

@Makron5 thats just wrong,.,,, but im laughing!

[joethecabdriver]

Look, it was the late 80's. You couldn't pinch a woman on the ass anymore in the workplace without getting fired, sued, ect. You couldn't make lavacious tongue gestures, either. Everyone in the audience was probably a former or would be offender, stifled by this new climate of respecting woman by force of law. So along comes the Diceman. A cultural pressure valve is released. Eventual acceptance of the new values regime ensues. That's one of the things art is for.

[thegrez]

You don´t have to be a New Yorker to realize that if you know the end of the joke simply...!!!YOU DON´T LAUGH!!!, this is the first time that i see so many stupid crowd gathered to listening jokes the already heard 1000000 times, i just saw a Tv show of the most hilarious comedians of all time and this guy was the only one that i got no explination why??? i´ve seen a lots of videos on youtube about this stupid Elvis abortion and i still don´t get it...maybe because..........it´s sucks!!!

[npadul30]

He starts off the same way every time.

[xj3ssica]

i dont think theres ever been a comedic crowd as strong as the ones he gathered

[jth1200]

what happened to the dice man anyway ?

[acestriker413]

He still does Vegas AC and the rest of the Jersey shore and upstate

[Gene5x5]

@jth1200

He had his five minutes of fame...Times up!

[steven4rmnewyork]

If your not a New Yorker you seriously won't understand his comedy you sit there with that dumb expression on your face looking for comedy when its slapping you in the face the whole time.lol.

[joeyfanof88]

@steven4rmnewyork hell, I'm from Kentucky and I love th Dice Man!!!! unfucken believeable!!!!!!

[SlashSG]

@steven4rmnewyork

Dont say that dude, thats awfully pretentious.

[cheapcape]

@SlashSG don't say dude, that's awfully trendy

[DanielGrozier]

@steven4rmnewyork don't worry i'm an aussie and we love the diceman through and through.politically correct morons that try to hate on this comedy hellman can fuck off.

[kcuskcid]

@steven4rmnewyork im a new yorker and you need to be fucked in the ass. come see me in chealsea

[TheAlmightyKingTroll]

@steven4rmnewyork You shouldn't have to "look for" comedy when it's in front of you. That kinda just explains "unfunny".

[TheAlmightyKingTroll]

@steven4rmnewyork You shouldn't have to "look for" comedy when it's in front of you. That kinda just explains "unfunny".

[donmajikjuan]

@steven4rmnewyork im from Georgia, and I think he is one of the funniest people who ever lived. what the fuck are you talking about?

[metsman511]

@donmajikjuan the dudes right, you may think he's funny but you don't get NY unless you're from NY. its a mentality.

[MissJenni2642]

@steven4rmnewyork I am fromOregon...almost as far as you can get from NY and this kicks my ass everytime.....lol It just has to do with your sence of humor. He is King!

[BatALash]

@steven4rmnewyork So all New Yorkers think this shit is funny? That's....sad

[mrmojow]

@BatALash All of the country thought this was hilarious!....Becaquse it is!

[MarkaRoxx]

DICE IS KING

[ed11561]

@MarkaRoxx Dice WAS king.

[MarkaRoxx]

DICE MAN - DICE IS KING - DICE RULES -

[abstraktart]

what the hell is a chap ...no brit could fill madison square garden...

[Darkez982]

@abstraktart

Billy connolly?

[qwertywrangler]

Don't disrespect the Diceman...

[Tommyfazz]

this chap is rather lame...baddah bing!

[Alxory]

What the heck is this?! What is with the crowd, collective IQ less than 80 or something

[acestriker413]

Ahhh collectivism sucks you fucken jerkoff

[marcusvee]

The Heavy Weight Champion of Comedy

[pcmartins]

dumd ass red neck

[thesouthrapsucks]

i fucked her lolololol

[metalfighter91]

I like the coreography of pulling out a cigarette LOL

[iceberg387]

wow i never noticed he had parkinsons

[WhoDatLSU79]

@iceberg387 he doesn't dumbass..it's lagged vid

[iceberg387]

@WhoDatLSU79 no shit