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From: Holding0n
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  • I tried to get help.

    Gramma, why won't you listen?

    Just because I eat once a day doesn't mean anything.. Haven't you noticed I eat less than 200 calories every single day?

    I NEED HELP., Please, someone.. Help me. They won't.

  • Comment removed

  • I have anorexia. All of this is so true. I get angry at people around me because they say I need to eat more and gain weight but I always think that I'm too fat to be anorexic. Maybe that's just the illness talking but either way, it's awful. I might have to be sent to an inpatient treatment center. I might have to repeat junior year, I could lose the love of my life. If you suffer from this, get help now.

  • I love this. I needed this.  Thank you

  • i'm a bit chunky in my opinion. people say i'm completely normal size- not too thin not too big. for some unknown reason, i'm hungry at a usual meal time, but whenever i even THINK about eating- i feel nauseated. like a gagging feeling. i have to eat of course, but i'm eating only enough for my parents not to nag me. i'm hungry and wanna eat but i can only take so much before i feel bad again. does anyone know whats going on with me??

  • I have those fears, i cry alone at night. I'm scared.

  • gosh im hungry i thin ill EAT and not purge afterwards

  • i was diagnose dwith ana about two weeks ago i hid my symtoms from evryone for a monthand a half i went into er there they gave me iv and asked why my electrolytes were low i opened up. i count my calories i do not go over 450 a day i will be starting to get help on the 26th of this month seeing a ed therapist i hope i can do it im not sure.

    

  • thats an amazing video, i just wish i had the courage to actually see someone about .... about my eating habits. I wish i could get help now, i now what im doing isnt healthy, but i dont think ill stop untill i actually look and feel like a skelition. no matter what people say... im all ready trapped. but your video is really beautiful, and should inspire others at 'early stages'

  • I'm not obsessed by weight, by the way. It's more a case of 'what the fuck do you think you're doing? You're disgusting and can't control yourself' than 'purge or you'll gain weight'. I guess im punishing my body as another form of self harm...

  • I've been binging every few weeks for a while now. Last week was the first time I purged in four years (I would purge occasionally). I'm constantly thinking about doing it again now. I'm I sick enough to get help? I know, by your logic, I am... but will anyone actually believe that someone that's 10stone and 5'7 is in need of help? It took years to get my bpd and other conditions diagnosed...

  • I don't know how much I weigh because I don't have a scale. I look fat though. A size 12 pants is too big. I want to be at least an 8. I'm not losing weight fast enough. No one knows how I feel... I eat less than 800 even 700 calories a day. If I eat more than that I might get fat. If I eat too much I won't be able to stop myself.

    When will I be thin enough?

  • I just saw my life flash before my eyes in under 3 minutes -_-

  • i'm sorry if anyone else bofore me has already asked, but; What's the title of the song, please??? It's beutiful! <3

  • God doesn't make mistakes

    He made you perfectly

    He has a purpose for you life

    Maybe your life sucks now but sometimes the pain is what makes you strong

    It's the purpose for your pain -3 in the end love is there waiting for you with open arms

  • Hello :) this video made me cry :( I am crying writing this, I am 13 and I am 79.6 pounds, way to fat to have a problem right? Well I restrict my calories to under 500 a day, if I go over that I cut :( arms and stomach, I purge anything I eat, and I'm so scared of gaining weight! I am to fat and all my friends are skinnier than me! They think something is wrong and one even suggested going to the doctors! I am not il but they won't listen to me! And I'm sick if these thoughts all the time daunt

  • @missbritishm Listen to me. I've been there. Unless you are 4 foot 8 you are underweight. Even if you aren't though, even if your weight is perfectly healthy, you are NEVER too big to have a problem. And at 500 calories, you definitely have a problem. Even if all of your friends are thinner than you (which I highly doubt.) You are ill. Your eating disorder is giving you hallucinations. Don't believe them. When you want to cut, snap a rubber band against your skin. Squeeze an ice cube. Draw on yo

  • @missbritishme urself with red ink. I would also suggest going to the doctor. I have been in your shoes. I restricted severely and I would punish myself by cutting. You might think you're in control now, but you're really not. Get help now before it gets any harder. Its like you've been hanging on to the end of a cliff for so long. And everyone is below you shouting to let go. You don't. After so many years of hanging on to it you get tired and just let go. Its a two inch drop. That's recovery.

  • i agree.. im barely 100, but i have my no eat weeks, then my stuff your face weeks..Help?

  • @SaveMeFromMyself101 hi, i just had to reply to your comment. i totally understand what you going through, I read ur comment and thought YAY finally im not alone. I have my starvation days and binge days too. when i first started.. it was only for a few days... now its been months and im still doing that, except i fast for a whole week, then eat 2 days, and as usual i regret it sooo bad, and fast for even longer. -.- if u ever find out out how to stop this let me know, xx

  • I AM SOOO TIRED OF THIS BLOODY ILLNESS i think im going to die soon, i am 13 and i have already failed life.

  • Well, I am too fat. I'd need to lose about 30kilos and maybe the question is stupid but do I have a problem? I think about calories day by day. Sometime I make it for 3 days, then I eat again. Too much. I hate myself. I wanna lose weight but I simply cannot make it work. Maybe I'm in danger but I can't realize it.

  • I watched this video 2 years ago. I didn't get help. I ended up having weeks to live. I was fed through a tube and spent a year in hospital. The worst year of my life. I was recently discharged, and it is surreal to watch this video again. Please, get help now.

  • @madlydisorderedmind Wow, I'm sorry to hear how bad things got for you, but I'm so happy that you managed to survive and get help in time, even though it must have been awful at the time. I hope you're doing much better now

  • @madlydisorderedmind but im only "eatimg" like this for like.. 2 weeks... im STILL fat at 160 pounds should i stiill get help coz im not eating... only li,e 2wice a day

  • You took the words right out of my mouth. I was anorexic about two years ago (lost about 50lbs) then I thought I got better. But lately all the thoughts and compulsions have been coming back and my calorie intake for the past week has been under 500 a day. But, I'm a size one shorts, thats not small enough to deserve help. But I don't want to deal with these thoughts long enough to lose another 30 lbs to be in the danger zone. What do I do?

  • I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth. I have "restricting" weeks and "bingeing" weeks and I'm afraid my therapist won't take me seriously because I look healthy and i know people think i look fat and I lied about it for soooo long. This might give me the courage to do something about it. Thanks.

  • Doctors won't even notice though. I'm too fat to have a problem.

  • This is exactly how I feel! I'm less two pounds away from the anorexic weight (BMI 17.5) but these thoughts have been haunting me for months. But I still don't believe I'm sick enough. I've seen a psychologist twice and yesterday when I told her about my eating issues she became really concerned. But I don't feel like I'm sick enough because my weight doesn't meet the criteria for anorexia just yet. I cry daily over food and I have no other life but because of my weight (BMI 17.9) I'm not sick..

  • This made me cry. The problem is, there is criteria you have to meet to have an eating disorder. Anorexia you have to be a certain percent underweight and bulimia, you have to purge a certain ammount of times. I don't fit in either, so I really can't get help

  • @Thinisbeautifulxo No you don't. The fact that you starve yourself to lose weight, throw up however many times, or feel trapped by your own body counts as having a disorder.

    There's no rules or guidelines

  • Heartbreaking, you deserve a medal for this video. i have been suffering for nearly 3 years with only little help......i do not meet the DSM IV criteria for treatment. i am above the BMI level. Its so frustrating it can happen to anyone. I worked in mental health so i am lucky to have friends such as social workers and mental health nurses but they are still not specialists in eating disorders!

    I just get told i will die but no one refers me.

    Thank you so much for your words of comfort x

  • It's like you read my mind at the "not sick enough" part O,O

  • what if i'm already trapped? I want out, but I don't know how to ask for help to get out :(I

  • This made me realize that I do deserve to get help... before this I thought im stupid and I don't deserve it. Thank you for this video..

  • I am writing a Senior paper on Eating Disorders. If anyone would like to be interviewed via E-mail. send me a message it would be very helpful

  • @mvpsonly500 Hey I'll be interviewed via email. I'll message you my email x

  • the only reason im scared of telling someone about my problem is if they think im not thin enough to have this problem... part of me wants to be thin but another part of me is forcing myself to do it in order to show people how im hurting..

  • age: 18

    Problem for 4-5 years

    ...Not thin enough but i know i have a problem.

    You've let me know that i can ask for help even though im not thin

    Thank you. i thought i had to struggle on but im not alone. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    xxx

  • You made me cry, damnit.

    Btu truely, everything stated was true. I feel like I'm not "sick enough" to be diagnossed so I hide everything and probably will continue until I admitt to myself that I NEED help. I hate it but I feel like there's no way in hell that any kind of clinic would take me in. I'm not going to get better through out-patient. I need help 24-7 to be able to get over these struggles in my head. They overcome me and drag me down. But I'm still at a healthy BMI...

  • I think that i have an Eating Disorder, So this really spoke to me. . . . . .

  • Can I ask to anyone out there?? Iv'e been struggling with anorexia off and on for years, it started when I was about 8, anyway I'm 15 now but I'm actually 105 lbs and 5"3, which I'm sure is a ok weight .. if not a little fat, if i tried to get help would they laugh in my face

  • @TheSecretAlterEgo Let me start by saying your weight is not 'a little fat', your weight is FINE for someone of your age! Having anorexia is a huge problem. You should find help; your family and friends won't laugh at you. They may not understand at first, but explain the way it works to them, the mental illness of it. Nobody will laugh at you; your loved ones will help you. If you feel you need it, please get help. I sincerely hope you get better.

  • @TheSecretAlterEgo no they would not laugh in your face, they will help you and be very loving and caring

  • It's good to have such an open mind. BUT however the truth is even if your sick and your trying to get help, it's not for sure that anyone will help. i've tried that. people NEAR me can't see what i mean. they dosn't believe that it's as bad as it is. So when believe is like that when your trying to tell them, you are giving up and thats the real world..

  • beautiful song. and the words are the truth. I struggle with a eating disorder, and its the beauty inside not the outside that counts. It would be nice if i could chat with someone.

  • fml.

  • This video is me.

  • It's like you just took my exact thoughts and feelings and put it on this video...makes me cry...I finally worked up the courage to tell my bestfriend about all my secrets, but it doesn't change anything; everyday is still the same. And I've just been figuring it's because I don't look "sick enough". I wish so many people didn't have to suffer like this. It slowly and painfully sucks the life from you. Well, Thank u for this video<3

  • thanks,, i think i discoved today,, i need help to no if i do or not.. em i dnt eat any breakfast, break, lunch. and a tad bit of dinner. and tbh im never hungry.. when i do eat its bad food..My friends say im too skinny.. i dnt no what to do HELP! thanks..

  • @MarthaMaeH Have you looked into therapy, since this was written three months ago?

  • I am very close to crying right now. This video describes me perfectly. :`(

  • This video made me realise I did a stupid thing. I cancelled my referral to the ED clinic, because I'm not 'sick.' Now, I'm too much of a coward to reach out again, as I've been knocked aside too many times.

  • @sigiluvsu do not give up, keep pushing yourself and get right back into the ED clinic, please

  • You think you won't get one and that it will never even come near your life but then it attacks you in some way and your just not ready for it.

  • u made me cry at the end whe it said "not even you". I feel like this told my fears from 0:17 on. thanks.

  • I have not had a serious episode in almost 6 months, and I still clearly remember telling my best friends. The worst feeling is the moment following your confession of having an ed and knowing that they are thinking that you don't look anorexic, that you don't look sick. At 5'5 and always under 100 but never under 90 for long enough I never did look thin, anorexic, sick. Even when I hit my lowest weight. Sometimes, I think that if I just tried again, I could make it to the point of looking sick.

  • Wow...That was the only thing I could say...Wow.I've struggled with the voices in the head for so long, I am sick to think it will be there for ever. Even though I am a very very big girl,. This video is just...wow.

  • anyone who can talk to me, this vid described me in 3 minutes and made me cry

  • @Katieluvsmilk15 If you need to talk I'm here, and for anyone else who needs to talk. We're in this hell together :)

  • fuk.. this made me cry.. you described my life in 3 miniutes x

  • mine too. If you ever need to talk, I can listen. That goes for anybody on here. I don't use this YT account much anymore. So if you want to talk or just rant to someone who will listen, my other YT account is BandNerd2813. Good luck to you all.

  • @haseldin me to

  • @ xWIKKIEE,

    The name of the song is Dear Friend from Stacie Orrico

  • whats the name of this song? (:

  • I think I may have an eating disorder, but i'm not sure... I told a few of my closest friends, and I made them swear not to tell. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm depressed, and I binge and purge at least 3 times a week... (usually more) I need help... where do I find it...?

  • tried to hide it but it's not possible to hide a 142 lbs weight loss, a heart attack and a coma... I am trying to get better...it's just so very hard, every day is a fight...

    Even now with a BMI of 12.8.... I strongly feel that eating disorder diagnosis should NEVER be based on weight but sadly...it often is

  • I'm 15 and have had anorexia and bulimia for over 3 years, my weight has been everywhere from 210 lbs to 68 lbs and I have been just as screwed up in my head no matter what weight Iv been at, I was diagnosed a lil over 2 years ago and have been in treatment ever sense... Iv always

  • well then how do you tell go up to a counselor (not parents erg) and say hey i have an eating disorder even though im 130 pounds

  • what a amazing bit of work...it moved me to tears, and i felt as though some knew my pain...even if it is not visible...for once i felt not so alone. Thank you xxx

  • I need so much help :(

  • im relly skinny for my age but i eat alot as in i eat like 5 meals a day and every one i kno sais im relly skinny but dont get it wrong i dont think im fat its that i never thot of myself as rellyskinny and ive always wanted 2 GAIN waight but its only cuz i exercised alot then in the summer i wuld gain waight and now im normal weight :) wich im glad of

  • this made me cry

  • this is just how i feel "not thin enough" because if you look at me you will truly think i was fat and im not just saying that either its true. but i have had anorexia with bulimic tendences for 8 months now and i only told a few people who i trusted because i feel like if i told someone i wanted help they would think i was lieing. ive lost about 7 jean sizes since my ed. i just want to be like everybody else

  • I recently went to my doctor, after almost 6 months of what eventually descended into a living hell.

    Because the most recent phase of my ED has been bulimic, my weight never got really low, infact I gained weight. What stopped me getting help for a long time was thinking I wasn't thin enough yet, and that I'd missed my chance (I did get small, but at the beginning.) This is so false. Lose your ED, not yourself.

  • Thanks for this video. I dont know if I have eating disorder, but i may have debression and I have thinked finding help. The feeling "im not sick enough" has been the only barrier to get help. I have now decited to get help. Thanks :)

  • This is a wonderful video, and completely true. When I was struggling and finally decided to reach out for help, I made myself as sick as possible the few weeks before I finally got a therapist, because I was so terrified she wouldn't believe me or take me seriously. I know I'm not the only one who's done this, and I hope people understand that this is not necessary. It doesn't matter how long you've been struggling for, or how thin you are, a good doctor or therapist will take you seriously.

  • Comment removed

  • I am 16 years old, didn't know I had a disorder until I got help. I started when I was 12, I got down to 73 pounds and finally saw what I did to myself in counseling. I relapsed in March, right now I'm 82 pounds and my mom says that's okay.

  • it is still underweight, but i give you mad props for never giving up to your illness. the best of luc to you as you continue to become healthy again.

    im 16 too, although not quite 82 pounds :) i'd say i'm average. but it doesnt stop me from counting calories...

  • 16 and 82 pounds?? im 11 and i weigh more o_O

  • wat an amazing vid and all so true

  • that's exactly how i feel, like i need to be emaciated to deserve help, like i do need to earn it. i started 8 years ago and my bmi's 17.6, but still i've been told i'm not sick enough for an ed treatment and that i'm not thin enough to have an ed. making up your mind and chosing recovery is already hard enough

  • argh. stop being right.

  • Thank you so much for making this video. Now, get out of my head LOL !

  • :/ i went to see our school nurse and told her that i felt fat and that my friends are worryed about my eating habbits and she said to me that as long as i am eating somthing i will soon pick up and will be ok just not to listen to what people say.... that was two years ago, now i dont know what to do :(

  • search for help

    search for someone who understands what an eatingdisorder is.

    a schoolnurse never learnt a lot of things about eatingdisorders.

    how faster you can get help how bigger the chance to recover

  • that sounds odd, if i went to the nurse im my school, she would of been over protective-ish and tried to send me to a therapist or somebody to get me to eat.

  • people think that you have to be underweight to have an ed. doctors say your bmi has to be under 17,5 before you can be diagnosed with anorexia. i think that's bullshit. i have had three of my very best friend suffering from anorexia nervosa and they all got through it. but only because they all got help and support from people. i'm beginning to have some eating problems and i know it.

  • this is not something i'm writing for attention, just though that people should know that they are not alone. there will always be someone who cares for you and who wants to help you.

  • Thank you so, so much for making this. Most people seem to miss the point that you can have anorexia or bulimia even if you're overweight - mental illness doesn't have anything to do with your weight, its side-effects just don't usually get noticed until you're a walking skeleton. Overweight, normal weight, underweight - anyone can have an eating disorder.

  • that video is great :)

    it makes me feel like there's hope

    apart from the fact that i went to my doctor and they didnt care, they just wanted me to get out basically, so now i'm kinda stuck

    :/

    x

  • In that video of 2 minutes and 41 sec., you told me all the things I've been hoping for the last one and a half year.

    I only have to words to say...

    Thank you

  • This is a brilliant video!

    I mean seriously! Well done!

    You have totally spoken out for everyone here. When i decided to go into recovery these are the words that i thought. Thanks for posting this video, it's nice to think that many other people thought like that too. We're not alone! xx

  • This made me cry. those words were like taken out of my head :(

  • i have a quick question

    how do u get diagnosed for anorexia/bulimia?

    like how do doctors diagnose u for that...?

  • You are diagnosed by a Doctor, Psychiatrist or Psychologist. They use a diagnostic manual called the DSM-IV which has the criteria for each disorder.

  • I don't have anorexia. And I'm happy for that!! :) I am a healthy girl. I am kinda thin... But i have always been!! And i like it!! And i don't want to lose weight... Wanna know why??? Beacuse I'm comfortable with my body!! It's not perfect, but remember: NO ONE IS PERFECT IN THE HOLE WORLD!!!!! I MEAN IT!!! I REALLY DO!!!!

  • i'm a size 3. but i wanna get to a size 1 :)

    ive been eating like jst fruit for the past few dayss

    im excited to lose more weight :]

  • as i still am on my diet.. i get such a thrill becuase i get control from it.. and yes when i did eat when and what i wanted toi was content but there was a fealing of like i was lost and not in control.. and always looking in the mirror.. i only eat 150/200 cals and im happier and im getting thinner:)

  • How old are you?

    I was just wondering how you would get away with eating that little without your parents finding out.

    Thats if you still live with them.

  • im 14.. and yes my parents do know about me only eating fruit and they say everyday!!..sayingomg daniela were so worried.. youll end up anorexic.. i dont want that to happen.. thwey take me to health clinic(cus they want me to talk about 'problems') but i told the women there i dont want to go and thats that.. and im a size 10!! :0

  • I know that I dont know you or your feelings and I shouldn't judge but size 10 is a perfectly healthy size to be. I bet you have a gorgeous figure. Please don't do yourself any damage (:

    x.

  • i can relate to that video so much! im a size 12/10 and i control what i feal. some days ill eat normal which is loads... cus i like my food.. but then inmy head i have to only live of friut n salad for months... i think i might have one.. im 14 years onld and im a girl.. i have made my self sick a couple of times... do i have one.. please someone answer me

  • Do you think i may have amild eating disorder?

    I find it impossible to eat in puplic or around friends. I control my food intake quite alot and only eat around one meal a day or less. My friends tell me i'm skinny but i know they are lieing. My BMI is classed as under weight but i look much fatter than almost everyone around me. I know its not serious but can anyone help? Thanks (: x

  • WOW, this this hit home.... I can really relate to this video, thanks!

  • maybe I'm not wishing to feel alive..

    for me i'm not sick enough, inside my head

    someone is telling me "keep going, it's okay" though i know it's not.. it has become a really importat part of my life and i don't really know if i want to quit.. that's what's killing me in both, outside&inside..

  • im doctor said im not sick enought to get help........ so I guess im not.. but I feel sick enought both emotinal and physcailly and its been a year or more, but most recently lost 30 pounds in 4 months

  • I'm sorry that you have been unable to get help, maybe you need to try seeing a different doctor? After all, you are the one living inside your head 24/7 so you are the one who knows how bad things are getting and it sounds like you've been struggling a lot with ED behaviours if you have lost so much weight. I don't know what the health system is like where you live, but is it possible to see a dietitian or psychologist privately?

  • haha iv seen three doctors. I dont think they take me serously im only 15 and i think my mom thinks its a phase, but I dont have a health plan and I dont have the money to see a psychologist at the moment but trying to, ., and dont be sorry ,

  • thank you i'm 32years old and i stil don't know if i'm sick enough, i have been fighting this for almost 18YEARS and still i haven't told anyone, but i know people are scared that i'm not well my doctor said i was to skinny but that was it! So thank this made me cry!!! this video was mexx

  • Thank you so much for this video! Eating Disorders are tough taskmasters indeed. You will NEVER be sick enough for them! I found a great quote about this the other day: "The best anorexic is six feet under."

  • Oh wow! Thank you so much for making this video. It really was too too wonderful :)

  • Brilliant

  • (CONT..) If 'nipped in the bud' in their early stages EDs can often be prevented from developing into full blown syndromes which are hard to treat. Many physicians don't recognise this. The rationale is that the risk of physical complications and death is greater at lower weight; however people commit suicide from psychological distress, or feel that their life is not worth living. That's what many people fail to recognise.

  • The unfortunate thing is that many general practitioners are better trained to treat physical problems.. Also, more funding is available for physical treatments. Funding is at the heart of the problems you raise and money is often inappriopriately distributed. In the UK (at least) saving lives is considered more important than helping people cope with psychological distress and its behavioural consequences. I do know some ED researchers and practitioners who are working hard to change things..

  • Great video. Well said truths. x

  • Great video :) I like the song too. I remember reading a few years ago that this song was written by stacie orrico for her friend who had an eating disorder..

  • this is a great video, once again <3

    i am favoriting this so it will always be quick to get to. that way, when i read my messages on here everyday and theres always that one person who claims they are not sick enough...ill be able to send this to them. thanks.

  • I love it...the indication that something is wrong is that you are not happy...ask. It's ok even telling one person breaks the cycle. What do you have to lose by telling nothing!, what do you have to lose by not telling everything! I love it Kit, LOVE IT!

  • wonderful and great video...

  • This was beautifully made, i loved it

  • I posted a video about this just the other day, and I totally agree with everything you've said. You should check it out :) Thankyou for this video, it's a really important message.

  • Perfectly said! I've added it to my favourites =)

  • This is amazing <3

    Thank you.

  • Brilliant xoxo

  • this is exactly how i felt...

    again, i say bravo :)

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