George Carlin - Airplane Safety

[BenjaminWirtz]

I should raise my hand during the safety lecture and ask questions like this.

[matijafolks]

Air marshall Carlin xD

[ChainGangPictures]

Classic!

[deadshot1995]

Because of this, I laugh my ass off every time I hear the safety lecture before a flight.

[mrcalderon93]

145 people are Republican

[starr522]

@mrcalderon93 LOL I am a Republican. Difference is I find this man to have been brilliant.Often the truth about plain old stupid stuff can be funny as hell. And I am quite sure you feel the same way.

[TheCapitalist98]

@mrcalderon93 your sadly mistaken, I am a Conservative Republican-ish person who uses his brain and knows that this man is fantastic. I must say, George could teach you few things about how democrats and republicans work for the same goal: getting rich and powerful, and screwing you over. Along with the corporations and the elite.

[WhenYourStrange93]

@mrcalderon93 you must never have heard of ron paul...

[alojawei75]

OMG. What the fuck is this. This is the greatest joke I had ever heard

[paranoidAndroid23]

145 air-crew members watched this video

[albokid52]

Genius is an understatement of what Carlin possessed.

[Capitanvolume]

I got a water landing message while flying over a dessert.

[pistolpete667]

Where did this arrow to the knee thing come from? Its very stupid

[Capitanvolume]

@pistolpete667 It come from a video game called skyrim.

[MrKnifeFanatic]

In the unlikely event there is a sudden change in cabin pressure...... "ROOF FLIES OFF!!!"

[MrBeefaroo]

Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor and George Carling.....sometimes a name speaks volumes! R.I.P

[Serai3]

@MrBeefaroo Not when you spell it wrong.

[mickeykomtra]

George should have been president!

[luvgirlsfeet]

144 people didnt like this for they are probably flight attendants :) I however do work for the airlines and found this hysterical but the like button only allows me to vote once

[ross817]

They should play this on airlines instead of having the actual lecture. I would actually listen to it that way.

[Fred20320]

This made me laugh so hard i cried

[AKAcolide]

get on the plane ... FUCK YOU im getting IN the plane

[MessengerOfDreams]

About five minutes into a Katt Williams special I turned this on over it for the umpteenth time. XD

[dustcan145]

where can i get the full verison of this?

[trycoun]

@dustcan145 watch?v=uoI3hvYoozg

it is the full show. enjoy :)

[TheChrisMillross]

COCKPIT...beautiful word

[LoudCarsFastGirls]

ROOF FLIES OFF

[immortalium]

man how i wish i couldve been on a plane with him haha i know i wouldve had a great time XD lol

[Erandros]

...swinging to a pillow full of beer farts...

poetry, truly...

[JStalin195]

@Erandros it's clinging.

[Erandros]

@JStalin195 you're right... poetry still...

[insidiom]

142 people are fat fucks.

[feo130]

LMFAO XD Best comedian of all time!!!

[raeven1212]

I want a grafteful dead t-shirt and a fuck you hat

[christheman593]

Look they nearly missed!

[ReviewerKid90]

142 people are stumped by seat belts.

[li9hts0ut56]

142 people couldnt figure out the seat belts

[58windsong]

Too bad it's cut off at the end!

[58windsong]

Funny!!!!

[RydensMusicOfficial]

RIP George Carlin. I'm sure he's down there look up at us.

[shihonage1]

@RydensMusicOfficial THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

HOW ABOUT THIS, SO IS YOUR MOTHER LOOKING UP AT US,

NOW THAT'S FUNNY.

[shwamaal]

@RydensMusicOfficial and laughing too

[trollingbiznach]

@RydensMusicOfficial oh please God would want him for his comedy

[raidiostar]

@RydensMusicOfficial so he's in hell?

[FreakyNightmare]

@RydensMusicOfficial If you are referring to the fact that he's worm food six feet under I agree. Otherwise you are disgracing his memory right now connecting him with something he didn't want to be part of. Good thing is he doesn't give a shit, cause' he can't.

[CameronWasmund]

@FreakyNightmare Its a joke.

[TheDunefanatic]

@FreakyNightmare

Exactly, but he's not worm food. He was cremated.

[FreakyNightmare]

@TheDunefanatic That's even better. What a great man. I myself want to be cremated too. And I would like to be a fish food - or at least I hope they wouldn't put me in a nice vase and place it on the mantelpiece.

[kutkinderen]

@RydensMusicOfficial He is in Hell now looollllllllllll :P

[john0805]

Cuts off too soon!

[45thpaace]

Ptt

[OhanzeePrincess]

In spirit of my flight tomorrow I had to listen to this. :)

[banger1454]

RIP carlin and his fountain he stole from the park

[jonjojo4]

@DoctorYo1 just forget it, you. Obviously can't understand English do I'm just gonna stop trying, have a nice day

[jonjojo4]

It's called a near miss because they nearly missed avoiding each other

[DoctorYo1]

@jonjojo4

are you serious? are you trying to sound like 'the smart one', because you just performed an Epic FAIL.

get a clue, and please don't go near any sharp objects until your caretaker is in the room.

[jonjojo4]

@DoctorYo1 if they nearly missed avoiding each other that means they DIDN'T hit each other, think about it! nearly, meaning didn't, missed, i HOPE you know what that means, avoiding, meaning missed

[DoctorYo1]

@jonjojo4

Is english not your first language?

It's pathetic that you keep trying to inaccurately dissect this genius and famous bit of comedy.

Go play in traffic, and please don't breed.

[DoctorYo1]

@jonjojo4

Are you seriously trying to have an argument in semantics with me...cause you're gonna lose here kid.

If two planes nearly hit, it's a near hit....they nearly hit. You get that right?

A near miss? That means that the planes struck, but they nearly missed striking each other.  It's a term that has a misguided meaning. That's why it's funny; it's comedy dude.

How sad it is when people like you have to be explained comedy.

Is English your 2nd language?

[MrMasonx742]

@jonjojo4 wow that was pure stupidity right there

[1977jackyl]

Hey look apparently 138 who watched "are fuckin' stupid"

[nancyl2]

OMG so true. Never really thought about it; but he can tell it like it IS and make you see how conditioned we are. Huh??? OMG it is sooooo funny. LOVE your Spirit George Carlin. Miss you; always will be in our hearts. :-) XO

[dasboschitty]

9:35 i spit out my water.

its that funny

[BOC313]

love it. my dad has the entire show on tape.

[FunnyLimbo]

COCKPIT!!!

[danielchakraborty30]

And who made this man a Captain? He's a pilot... let him be happy with that! hahahaha

[danielchakraborty30]

And who made this man a Captain? He's a pilot... let him be happy with that! hahahaha

[UnionKid15]

love george carlin. thx for posting this.

[BlaccEagle]

George Carlin is a brain enhancing drug in a form of a comedian.

[AceishPlays]

Well he is making god laugh now

[iz2sicc]

@AceishPlays You might be right if it wasn't for the fact that George Carlin was a raging Atheist.

[QweeDam]

Wow I some of these George Carlin videos get so much discussion going in the comments! I wish my top 20 George Carlin Moments would get 1/10 the discussion as some of these other videos haha

[Ampnasty529]

Well I might have brought my arrowhead collection. Lol

[PapaSmurfion]

ROOF FLIES OFF!!!

[mikethemikeful]

George is one of the people that makes me laugh the entire time I hear him...

[FrankiNicole]

I also shit normally!

[takoon513]

see this man, could have been good as president but this mother fucker decided to watch the world burn. he was great at making things blunt no one will ever be like him or another Lewis Black!!!

[EasyExpertVillage]

he is the reason i want to be a comedian when i grow up. but im only 13. and he took my ideas.

[GamerLad117]

We need more George Carlins and less. . . pretty much every other type of personality the world has to offer.

[sungretsch]

@GamerLad117

There wouldn't be a George Carlin without the "Other types of personalities" for him to complain and make fun of.

[Zer0small]

ROOF FLIES OFF

[8anaban]

oooo boeee carl

[UnitedStrong]

Press 4 for scared dramatic Georgie. <3

[pricture]

Btw let me explain this to you ppl, I think George Carlin is great, he brought up excellent points that most ignore and pretty much told the truth of how we're controlled and what-not. But that doesnt mean he knows/is right about EVERYTHING. No one does, dont say you do, because lol you dont. I dont either. Now aside from what some haters say, I'm not some "christian" or trying to lecture anyone ffs, I'm simply saying dont bash what you dont know, there alot more to things than meets the eye.

[pricture]

@LightSydeVick Yeah, more or less. :P

[Naedeslus]

I want a fuck you hat.

[trycoun]

@Naedeslus

:))

[silverstryfe]

@Naedeslus me too

[MessengerOfDreams]

@Naedeslus Pretty sure those are a dime a dozen at Spencer's. :P

[anarchysith1992]

All planes should be fitted with pontoons. That way they can water land a bit more safely. High tech shit. LoL

[WhereAreTheStairs1]

I switched to my BIG headphones for this... You know, HIGH TECH SHIT

[1860george]

love this bloke so much

[lynd0nc]

136 midgets don't like being stepped on

[Bigdog6665]

I had to take headphones off.. soo funny.

[gleeksrthebest]

he used the begining of the video before...

[HalfDemonInuyasha]

Should make a bumper sticker;

"Seat belts - HIGH TECH SHIT!"

[BrentDewell]

135 people failed the safety lecture

[king802]

"I might have brought my arrowhead collection, but I didn't."

[AlltimeTrance]

So many people commenting on these George Carlin clips, just do not get it. It's fuckin depressing, you can really see whats wrong with the world after an hour on youtube.

[jesushimselff]

what year was this?

[trycoun]

@jesushimselff

1992 - check the infosection

regards

[GoreCrowVII]

@trycoun I almost misread regards :P

[onebaud1]

@jesushimselff This was before he died.

[Stonii]

@onebaud1 Really, he didnt do this after he died?!

[bryanr1]

this is atrocious. carlin is the most overrated comic ever. what a tool.

[HDaviator]

@bryanr1

That, or your sense of humor is shit. I personally believe its the later.

[b1gbudda]

he should have talked about the idiots clapping when the plane has landed!! its his fucking job, and what did they expect to happen??

[pricture]

No one, and I mean NO ONE knows for sure how real God/Satan(or whatever you call them) is ppl, so stop bashing. :L

[b1gbudda]

@pricture typical christian

[1Ezk]

@pricture get bent

[pricture]

@1Ezk "get bent"? Was that an insult?

I love how all of you are being rude little morons simply because I said to not bash what you dont know.

I guess you're all just trying to copy George instead of listening to him.

[1Ezk]

@pricture Mad?

Get bent.

Freedom of speech; furthermore freedom to insult whoever I see fit WHEN they act as you do. Its a parody. Yet pricks like you always go back to morality and try to lecture us about heaven/hell/satan/God, when were just listening for laughs because its all a joke. So back the fuck up and get off the internet.

[pricture]

@1Ezk No I'm not mad at all, but it appears you are bud. The way I see it, you are being completely rude and disrespectful just because I said dont bash what you dont understand. Thats all. And you somehow think that just because I dont disregard "everything" related to religion means I'm LECTURING you about religion? What a laugh, how about you stop imitating Carlin and think for yourself for once and reply back when you arent filled with so much hate.

[1Ezk]

@pricture ohh disrespectful oh noes... I insulted you with a truth that you know is right. Deal with it and move on. So what your mother didn't love you, get over it, or in this case you're a douche taking the fun out of a parody on the internet with a morality lecture. The best you can do is learn to stay away from the comment box and or the internet.

Now go away and be mad while i enjoy this vid thx (:

[pricture]

@1Ezk What are you even talking about? You didnt present any truth to me, you were being a rude and disrespectful troll like you are now.

Again, I didnt lecture anyone I just generally said you shouldnt bash what you dont understand. But DO you know for certain that "all" religion is false? If so then please, do enlighten me with your irrefutable knowledge. Or are you just gonna troll more?

[pricture]

@1Ezk Btw if I somehow took "the fun" out of a parody(this one is on Airplane Security if you hadnt noticed) that easily for you than maybe your then one who needs to stay away from the comment section/internet. ;]

[megking]

@pricture

there is no real god or satan, theres as much proof for those as the tooth fairy

[pricture]

@megking I agree to an extent, the crap misinformation told through simple Sunday chruches and such just deludes people even further. And just like George explains, the moronic rules like "placing your left hand on the bible" or whatever is just another way of controlling people.

I still choose to keep my mind open mind however, yes, religions are used to control people but you gotta question, why is there so much symbology found in things like our media, 9/11, etc?--

[pricture]

@megking --So ppl really shouldnt bash this stuff just because "George said so". He's great like I said, but just copying him doesnt help.

It's like Ron Paul, everyone is saying Ron Paul will make things better. It seems like he will but how do we know he's not just another Obama? And even if he isnt, will he even get that far in dismantling the Fed? We all know what happened to JFK. Most people will just follow him anyways though because he "looks good", instead of improving themselves.

[FordGTGuy]

@pricture

Let's just ignore the fact that he has been in congress for 12 terms without ever flip flopping on his views.

[dreadlord2005]

Lol. XD

[cabronaloca101]

i don't know how people dislike this it's too funny xD

[gogogogodzilla]

"I might have brought my arrow head collection, but I didn't. SO I'M NOT G--"

[dhebert111]

At my job, we have to file out near miss reports, and I have always, for 15 years now, have argued jokingly that a near miss was a direct hit, and nobody catches on, this is the first time I have ever heard anyone joke about this other than myself, so weird.

[lakitalover]

Good comedy involves the sort of jokes and one liners that make you laugh so hard you spit your drink out. George Carlin is good comedy.

[nutsduck]

132 people are fat fucks in George's way

[NuRaShynes]

@fabriciojz33 . cuz someone with a horrible sense of humor reccomended it

[PocketGins]

Damn...it's so ridiculous that after nearly two decades, this information still holds complete relevance. I was just on a flight yesterday and they said 95% of the things that he mentioned. Such a genius and so ahead of his time.

"Please wait until the captain has turned off the fastened seat belt sign"

"In the case of a change in cabin pressure"

"Press the metal flab inside the buckle"

"Any personal belongings you might have brought on board."

LOL. Word for word, still going strong today.

[MelodyPythonVeria]

I need to get a "fuck you" hat!

[NuRaShynes]

Wow i cudnt even pretened to smile for this. his sarcasm isnt funny

[fabriciojz33]

@NuRaShynes then why are you watching?

[SapphireSparta]

@NuRaShynes Speak for yourself, I laughed my ass off at this. And I'm pretty sure a lot of others did too.

[anjilyn2]

couldn't help thinking of those friends of mine who are Flight Attendants, (who could use a good laugh too about now from something so old), God Bless them, and RIP Mr. GC

[67Mannheim]

dislikes? those are the ones who don't understand english.

[niidea123]

great mind of 21 century

[ziyahd31]

this man was to damn funny i'm crying cause i'm laughing so hard

[ttjolly]

R.I.P. you funny motherfucker

[vinshady95]

R.I.P. Carlin.

[66ott7]

I know a guy named Matt Seatbelt.

[johnjnukemsheridan]

Here's my 2c in the great debate for what it's worth. Consider this...*If* hell exists, then perhaps hell is this life of ours on Earth & heaven is the reward after. Also, it's comforting to think there's something lovely awaiting us when we die. Maybe this is cos the thought of enduring the shit this life throws at us then dying & there being nothingness doesn't sit well with us, hmmm? Maybe we're scared to accept the possible fact of life that existence is pointlessly brutal & meaningless lol?

[ScandinavianEmokid]

@johnjnukemsheridan True, i changed a person yesterday with my rather "dark" point of view on life. Reason that alot of people believe in afterlife, is because the thought of life being random out of chance and rather meaningless scares them, even though that is the reality. That is why we have to do the best we can to enjoy the life now. If there is no after life, there is better to have lived a life one can be proud of, rather than lived a life in false hope for a better afterlife

[johnjnukemsheridan]

@ScandinavianEmokid A good philosophy I think :)

[juventus8604]

@johnjnukemsheridan yes

[SuperBar2008]

to all of the dislikes, air marshal carlin says go fuck yourself

[ki2kito]

@SuperBar2008

i dont get it .. how could this not be funny

more than 100 dislike

they must be working in airplane co. lol

[AstraVex]

127 people don't know how to use a seatbelt!

[driv1937]

George Carlin will never die!

[jennasy2010]

shut the fuck u fag go gussel some cum he can say what he want too the guy under me

[dewhicular]

Doin' all this trollin' for my life. My cars, my crew, my crib, my hood, my guns, my heart, my kids, my soul, my mind, my stripes, my nigs, my fans, my enemies, my bloods, my crips, it's my life.

[dewhicular]

@hornerc1 Prove to me hell doesn't exist, then get back to me. Until then kindly shut the fuck up. :)

[draven65]

@dewhicular Do I have to prove that unicorns and pixies don't exist too?

[Danterus77]

"When 2 airplanes almost collide they call it a near miss. Its a near hit! A collision is a near miss. POOF! Look, they nearly missed."

[ChanologyAgent]

@dewhicular u mad, bro?

[dewhicular]

@ChanologyAgent uwaygaybro? yaithinkhegay

[dewhicular]

I wonder how he feels about his aethism now that he's burning in hell.

[PinkAtheist]

@dewhicular and how are you so sure about that?

[dewhicular]

@PinkAtheist Because he's screaming up at us, laughing.

[PROTON838]

@dewhicular you keep wondering, and keep religion to yourself...

[JRC3034]

@dewhicular will somebody put a dick in this guy's mouth? He's a cocksucker and he's got his mouth open so somebody can cum in it.

[AlltimeTrance]

@JRC3034

I would happily execute you at point blank range with a fuckin gun.

[millenniumf1138]

I prefer the work cockpit as well.

[polishsoccerfan]

He got me at "poof, they nearly missed"

[yojoedashom]

I honestly have never lost it like I have listening to George here!

[Ur0pinionDoesntCount]

soo funnny

[solcario2]

i had to stop at 6:11 to stop laughing it was so funny