Half Life: Uplink (Movie by Cruise Control)

[KurtAdolfMeyer]

Бред сивой кобылы.дислайк

[xXMapleVodkaXx]

Jazz Meadows is a pornstar's name.

[TUALMASOK69]

He would have done much better for himself if he didn't dance down the corridors.

[B0yardigi0rn0]

Arnold gets reduced to half, turns into a girl and says: "come with me if you want to live"

[Cortez94]

It wasn't bad, but yet it wasn't good.

[StealthyNinjaMedia]

Meh. So this is how the Brits picture Half-Life. *pukes*

[RadioOperator01]

come with me if you want to live....yea..that's some inspirational talk right there -_-....

"ah...no?"

Speciment: Terminated

Reason: Didn't Follow me so he could live

Further Comments: LoL!

Even Further Comments: WHo Hired Her -_-

[TheAyjayman]

meh its ok



[razorsharpx0]

what the actual fuck?

[Omikroon]

Бюджет фильма три доллара?

[TheXReventon]

wow jesus christ you seriously mean this was done by a company?

[yovalenteros]

LOL :D!!

[jwj8741]

This was a short made by a marketing company in '99. Sierra pulled it from circulation right after it came out. After watching it I can see why. My friends and I used to create better sound effects than this when we were kids making short GI Joe movies over 20 years ago.

[JustinMacduro]

It was a 1999 low cost movie ... for me it's great just look at similar films from that time .

[evarube]

ХУЙНЯ БЛЯДЬ!!!

[MrEmbasis]

@evarube хорошо сказано

[Project7Z]

lol :D

come with me if you want to live

[Tovaiva99]

this guy is an idiot. everyone are leaving black mesa, but he comed in.

[Soba4iKusok]

It's not a fan work. It was request from Sierra to make this film in 1999.

[nalewis89]

My impressions are someone got WAY outa hand with a half-life soundboard. Not to mention the acting made me feel like a headcrab was sucking my brain matter out of my skull. God-awful.

[PeterOnoLennon]

gayben

[ChikNfO0t]

WHERE DID THE TERMINATOR COME FROM?

[Gadjet567]

This would never happen at apeture science

[arielwollinger]

no wonder it was not approved by Valve...

[Ball50f5teal]

summary of this movie, man runs around a building for 5 minutes freaking out at things

[MakoSucks]

2:29 a Vort cums on a grate.

[termanedieter11]

I'm so glad this piece of shit never got the green light.

[vorteksio2]

117 Soliders didn't made it out of the facylity before marines pulled out.

[vorteksio2]

Fucking fan boys stop bitching about evrything.... The movie is definly better than some uweboll movies. I have to admit that i actualy liked it. The only one fucked up sene, was at the end. Black ops were supposed to kill ANY witnesses ESPECIALY news reporters. They even wanted to Blow the enire facility up with a A-bomb.

[inferno336]

well, this film was made back in 1998, low budget films were not like the low budget films from now like Escape from City 17 or Beyond Black Mesa. There was no Adobe After Effects or Adobe Premier or any other kind of digital technology that was affordable at the time so they did it with the resources they had. They could hire better actors tho.

[irulenano]

It takes Gordon like an hour and a half to get through security and shit, then a news reporter walks through the back door.

[jubbaflubb2]

by todays standards, this would be an interesting video, but this was supposed to be released in 1998 with the demo...

[Silverfang15]

not the worst thing I've ever seen, but honestly I think I could do better (Though I would have to use todays technology, not 1999 software)

[holyfrog77]

I wept blood out of one eye, and urine out of the other after watching this.

Now I'm going to have to sue Cruise Control (assuming they're still in business) for all they are worth and after that arrange for them to be beaten...

WITH A CROWBAR.

[thedell13]

come with me if you want to live? wtf is this… terminator?!

[captainprice4827]

if this was made by some high school kids, i understand, when i saw: made by a marketing agency, i started laughing no wonder why valve made them remove it, reminds me of a uwe boll movie

[GTR141Foxer]

@VithorDoGta Fun fact is. this was to be a movie not made by the fanbase but by some company. but it got pulled off n stuff due to some stuff that need reasoning between valve and the guys that made the 5 min film.

[GenghisKhan44]

This looks like someone's high school film project. It's not bad, but it's definitely not professional quality. What were they thinking?

[texek095]

@GenghisKhan44 what r u want, it's 1999

[fourfoursevenfour]

ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC

[uncachable]

I thought I was seeing another fan film production by some kids. And secondly, Black Mesa is in a desert. Why is there grass?!

[GTR141Foxer]

@uncachable flora near the base mabe?

[Raveheart90]

Wow. "This is MY ticket!"

You know what's a better five minute movie than this? HALF LIFE IN 60 SECONDS.

[ShinChan56798]

The scientist at 2:16 should have gotten that pistol

[CriticalBasterd]

This is totally awful...

Сраное гомно.

[makarovgosha]

big shit

[yotube155]

I'd much rather just splice together all the "Freeman's Mind" episodes and call that "The Half-Life Movie". That would be 1000x better than this shit.

[TheZomgStuff]

This is as horrible as uve boll or school kids with camcorders.

[LegoJunk128]

This looks like it was shot in someone's school using a shiddy camcorder.

Another great reason why Valve wants to do a Half-Life movie themselves.

[BartolBabich]

@LegoJunk128 Valve never really wanted to make a movie of Half Life. When they started getting a shit ton of requests by just about everyone, they tried writing a script. They tried like a billion times. They gave that shit up because it'll never be as good as the game.

Also, this video is shit. For a decent fan made trailer, check out "I'm the Freeman" by Marco Spitoni

Shit's awesome.

[j0e2oo7]

That was just, horrible.

[reb2550]

meh

[EmperorElliott]

This was fucking horrible.

[vlad75019]

come with me if you want to live look amateur

[BlackRaven117]

If Black Mesa is in New Mexico, then why is there dense forests? and why is the Black Ops operative wearing Goggles and A Turtleneck, when in the game they wear skin-tight wetsuits with Night Vision goggles, and HOW DARE SHE QUOTE KYLE REESE!!!!![rant/]

[eateroftheflame]

This could be forgiveable if it wasn't for the TERRIBLE acting. "Come with me if you want to live" sounded like she was buying petrol

[czarny7196]

FAIL

[narrator89]

I think you people are being a bit harse here. While it doesn't come close to Escape from city 17, it does actually have a interesting style to it. Made 10 YEARS before EFC17 without a budget, the poor set/props are forgiveable. I especially liked the end sceen with the classic HL tune playing in the background.

[lokjudi]

Epic win!

[saturnvengeance]

Well that was...different.

[xTh1eFx]

Real fail.

[ChickenFriedFabrizio]

Actually kinda good :)

[bonana99]

Listen, this is just some crappy movie made by cruise control that was origianally going to be released with the demo. They withdrew it because cruise control got in a cat-fight with valve about liscensing or w/e. That chick in the end has absolutely nothing to do with the game and the only way valve was involved with this is because they made half life one. Just thought i'd clear some things up...

[TriggerHappy560]

can you believe that this movie was released in the same year as The Matrix?

[anontrance]

the use of in game sfx wasn't too bad lol

[GhostoftheDawn321]

so CHEEZY

[TheInkBat]

at the end it says sound by ambience studios pft i bet it was made by some kid that was into computers back in the 90s

[xAmRDeUcEx]

If this is a Half-Life film, then where's Gordon Freeman? Where are the headcrabs? Where's the G-Man?

[GGGriggs]

Oh yeah, and Valve have stated that they themselves hope to produce a Half-Life film, but the developers will make the film, and they will hope to make it different from all other films adapted from games......

If Valve's at the helm, then it should be pretty hopeful......

:-)

[GGGriggs]

Forgive me if I'm mistaken...but I haven't seen a SINGLE alien here!!! Only the Marines (albiet badly acted)......

Good thing Valve took this video away and hopefully destroyed it!

:-D

[nicolasmarinus]

Wow, this is really really bad!  No wonder Valve said no.

[trevjamsey]

wow i finally found it and now that i did i'll regret for the rest of my life. I mean really they took the original sounds right out the game and you don't even see a single headcrab. I don't understand how you mess up this bad.

[Challengerapproching]

23 seconds in

Can't watch more

[DarthZ01]

wow...the likes and dislikes are exactly even...

[3DaysClapping]

Where the fuck was Gordan?

[WasteOfAmmunition]

@3DaysClapping dude, he's in the lambda complex... probably

[Daimenes]

ALYX WANCE IN ONE MOMENT

[slipperywhenwet5]

This is the worst fan made Half Life Film

And its not a fan film.

ITS PROFESSIONAL!!!!

[slipperywhenwet5]

@B5starfurry Plus, when valve was shown it they protested it fiercely.

[Abnorvell]

Terrible. Just terrible. Especially the blatantly ripped-off "Terminator" line at the end. Thanks for uploading this shit-encrusted jewel nevertheless.

[AVALON479]

Такой хуиты я в жизни не видал!

[Howitzer89]

oh god oh man oh god oh man

They're eating her...and then they're going to eat ME!... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD

THIS IS JAZZ MEADOWS

All in the same league.

[vorteksio2]

@Howitzer89 I Almost dide from lack of breath while reading your comment.

No kidding.

[drotonmanXD11]

what a fail only sounds of the xen monsters xd

[cuppajoesugar]

What makes no damn sense is that a BlackOPS soldier would rather rescue some shitstain journalist but massacre brilliant scientists

[thehalflifedude]

@cuppajoesugar

You fail to notice the black op was half a second away from killing the 'shitstain journalist', get some comprehensive skills or don't comment.

[cuppajoesugar]

@thehalflifedude Sheesh, man, mellow down, I could swear you were one of the people who made this film

[monoloco35]

@B5starfurry she was a Black Ops assassin

[halo676]

The only half-life related thing i see here are the sound effects and the fact that it takes place in black mesa. The constant sounds are fucking annoying and this film is total and complete shit.

[TheLilScubby]

Thank god the Purchase brothers gave us Escape from City 17

because this was freaking terrible

[40DIMITRY]

хуйня,народ.не смотрите,халфой даже и не пахнет

только зря потратил 5 минут своей жизни

[AndrosynthNuclear]

Lol, Valve is like "There is no way in hell that we are gonna let you release this film cruise control!" but then they released it anyway, a Half-life demotion

[asianguy586]

A bunch of random sounds doesn't make a very authentic movie.

[vito445]

this movie made me want to shit everywhere untill there was nothing left of me except my skin.

[ThePastastudio]

@B5starfurry valve did not make this crap it was some crapmaker from somewhere

[MrCheesemcbutter]

And i tought my dog's shit looked disgusting :o

[sergiostudios]

i liked it´s cool.i would like to see a second part.

[133aaron]

@sergiostudios it was made before hl2 i dont thing there will be part 2 :P i only came here becuz a halflifewiki told me 2

[sergiostudios]

@133aaron yes i know that,but it has god if they have done a second part,actualy has i than have put the link in half-life wiki.

[PacWarrior0000]

My brain is now full of fuck. WHAT IS THIS ABOMINATION OF THIS SO-CALLED "MOVIE"?

[ruregah]

the first VALVe's fail..............fuck......

[PirateMonkeyFilmz]

wow. what a fail movie. ruins all thats good about the game.

[ivanpzv8]

this is awfulище,

this is looking as another hollywood mistake

[yournube]

@ivanpzv8 Does this seriously look like a Hollywood movie? lol

[rigaudio]

Who needs plot? This is VIDEO GAMES!

[KatsumiBitch]

ahhh!!! how I know this movie is real???

[000YellowFang000]

man now i want to see the whole thing!

[Raysta01]

That was unpleasant to watch.

[Fr33St00fProductions]

"Apparently, Cruise Control decided to go ahead and release the film anyway despite not having approval" lol thats asking for trouble isnt it lol

[mpLuper]

Бред

[M1FFY]

I have, no words.

[thecakeisbake]

that. was. horrible.

[xFIRERUSHx]

a girl's name is bill?

[MYFARTSAREDEADLY]

@xFIRERUSHx I think its bell

[smokesomedillweed]

I wanna see what happens at the end. Does a cardboard-cutout of G-Man appear to tell him that this movie was doomed to failure and that he's known it all along?

[TheBlackmesastudios1]

that lady was a black ops assasain

[AlmightyRookie]

Pease of shit!

[ThePieIsLie]

This made me wish that no one will ever make a Half-Life movie, by showing how shitty it could turn out.

[gliozzi]

@ThePieIsLie Yeah except that if a Half-Life movie was made, it would have a higher budget than $50 and a copy of Half-life 1. Look how cool Escape from City 17 turned out and that was on a budget of like $500 dollars. And the What's in the Box video was all homemade special effects.

[ThePieIsLie]

It would have to be made under special supervision by Valve were it ever made. Every single hollywood attempt at video games has failed so far. Because for the makers, it's just another paycheck. They don't care if it means anything in the gaming world. Also, a Half-Life movie, sad as it may be, can't include Freeman. Because he doesn't speak. If they'd choose a personality and voice for him, who knows how some would react to the choice. And it would establish the character permanently as such.

[gliozzi]

@ThePieIsLie I agree about the Freeman thing for sure. Some may have disliked Silent Hill, but I thought it certainly did the game justice. It was certainly up there as far as gaming movies go.

[TheGoblinChicken]

What the Hell is up with that ending? Is that supposed to be a black op...?

[NinjaCheeseBurger]

Could have been better, still at least they used the sound effects. And the head-crab camera view was unique.

[Carthsting]

Only seeing the protagonist already makes me wanna stop it.

[kevinohisamazing]

I literally slapped my face when the girl said "Come with me if you want to live."

[GiantPugTV]

"Hey Jim should we get some rope for the barnacle scene?"

"Nope I've got corn syrup!"

[AguyinaRPG]

Shot on a budget of $500? I mean wtf? This could've been all right if they cared.

[gmanhell94]

jeeze, Escape from City 17 is 100000x better than this

[RamBam3000]

This is the suckage. Even "Cloverfield" was better than this and that gave me motion-sickness.

[lyndonrebutoc]

THIS IS SHIT

[justin734]

booo

[bobandquizo]

This is very bad

[eateroftheflame]

Why is he in a field when Black Mesa is in the middle of a desert? Stupid film makers.

[ThePieIsLie]

Uuuuurgh. Thank god this isn't a full length movie. It'd be 2 hours of this shit and probably be directed by Uwe Boll....

[fred504610]

....What.....The....Fuck......­.

[TheBlackmesastudios1]

what do you think happened to them even though this movies bad i still wanna know what happened to the female black op assain and the other guy

[npx190]

It does not even seem like a reference, it looks like they wanted to go full Terminator. Also, you have seen even in teen HL fan vids, they implement some sort of headcrab, whether animated, or prop from the Valve store, but was that even here? They probably could of done a paper mache headcrab here, but no, just use sound FX from the game. Speaking of which, anyone see the short film: Escape from City 17? What a difference that fan film is with pro special FX and a pro film crew.

[RamBam3000]

@npx190 But give "Escape. . . Part 2" a miss, unless you want to be Rickrolled. . . :)

[Jordyy11122244t]

@npx190 actually, its just two guys that made the whole thing by themselves on a small budget, there was no crew. but really, the guys have really pro FX skills

[NinjaCheeseBurger]

@npx190 You do relise this was filmed in 1998 so comparing this to Escape from city 17 is kind of redundant. Also the valve store didn't exist either.

[npx190]

@NinjaCheeseBurger I think you spelt realize wrong. Is that barnacle really corn syrup or CGI? If that is the case, couldn't more special effect have been done? Special effects or not, couldn't they have at least done some sort of alien appearance? I mean they could of done some sort of green screen superimposition overlapping or something. Maybe even just wall shadows could of been the slice of cake. If not, did they even get to see gameplay before hand?

[killingdj0]

s\ounds are from the game

unproffasional

[simon1234simon]

@killingdj0 the best part of this movie. i mean they've gotta use these sounds in the real HL movie if they ever make it. the second you hear them you know where are they from. most movies based on games aren't good, cuz they aren't focused on the gamers who are gonna see them. the only way HL movie would be any good if it would be made by gamers for gamers.

[killingdj0]

@simon1234simon no the only reason game movies sucks because they ruse it

valve is the best trailer maker ever

everyone wants valve to get his trailer team to a movie team

fact is valve never failed so movie isnt too

[Nintendomanic]

it was made in the contrey i live in what do you expect

[TheMooostache]

they used the fucking sounds from the game? low budget FOR THE LOSE

[GenerationMine]

Wheres GORDON fuck this

[TheMightyAtomNL]

FYI, Valve did'nt made it. Valve was'nt even involved in the making of this movie.

[killingdj0]

so valve didnt accept this movie

[TheTailor25]

WHERE IS GORDON ?

[Dunkelschwamm]

This is. Wow. This is just... wow...

I've been a fan of Half-Life for just about forever and I can't believe I haven't seen this. This is more than awful. This is just... wow...

Who the hell is the random woman at the end? There were no girls in Half-Life unless you count the hologram or the spin-off games. Hell, this bears as much resemblance to Half-Life as it does to Doom! Hell, it bears as much resemblance to Half-Life as it does to PAC MAN!

[nukyis]

Actually there were some kind of female spy things that ran fast as lightning and was pretty damn hard to kill.

[fred504610]

I'm Glad Valve didn't let this movie out.

[XIIIMastershotIIIX]

facepalm

[Doomsdaywarrior]

This was mildly entertaining right up until the end.... that Terminator quote made me FACEPALM!

[SimBoy48]

Stupid Terminator reference.

[rogerbanango]

Jazz Meadows sounds like a porno name.

[plutoend99]

this was well made for the time

[nukyis]

no, no and no!

[recover89]

Sooooo bad.

[HomeVideogameVideos]

Hahahaha, this is fucking retarded. I don't think it's serious at all. I think it's hilarious to me.

[LilEasterTheTot]

"Coming soon:

Team Fortress II"???

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

This horendous pile of shit should never have seen the light of day.

[TheRealGentleman]

"Bill...I'm here on level sex..."

[PeterTechGuy]

finally someone upload this!

and yeah i can see why the critical reception of this film was very poor...

[djm0ns]

lol

[underground235]

that was just..so bad..i mean..so bad..this was worse than a primary school performance..

[CryoKeen]

That guy sure likes reaction shots of himself.

[firebert2005]

That was done by a marketing agency? Cruise Control must be full of retarded crack-babies with self-delusional Blair Witch fantasies who thought they could cash in on the Half-Life gravy train. Hope they went broke after filming this five minutes of hell. Took them twelve hours to produce crap..........

[FrameFactoryFlims]

Well, funny thing is, they actually did go bankrupt after making this.

[DoctorWeeTodd]

How do you go bankrupt with a budget-less movie?

[ballsopt]

that was gaytarded

[TheRealSiguy]

It's Valve who decides what they want to put in their games, just because they took a few ideas from Gearbox and made them canon doesn't mean everything in those games is.

[neilfromabove1986]

that was awful, I'm going to go and bang my head on a wall repeatedly untill I forget I ever saw it.

[ukjhkjhkhjk]

nothing but a crappy homemade movie

[TheMachinimanator]

the ending was a wtf moment?

[OktoberSunset]

I hope sierra didn't actually pay them for this...

[Bladethepokefreak]

How DARE they put the Lambda logo at the end of this filth?!

[sockless67]

1. Black Mesa doesn't have grass.

2. There are no explosions in this movie.

3. The in-game sound clips don't mix.

4. Just useless camera work.

5. Who the hell is that chick?

[TehBarnz]

"Come with me, if you want to live" - just like I remembered.