Dave Chapelle Killin Them Softly Part 5

[Alann3Gee]

Hahahaha this nigguh is funny !!!!!!!!!! xDD

[LoPeSHoL718]

ALMOST BAFFLING THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOW OF SOME SORT RIGHT NOW

[Lipinski09]

check me out

[ringer454]

@markymarkbb Rejected. (:

[aristides1002]

he is talking bout obama!! 5:30

[69MinecraftGamer69]

@aristides1002 Obviously not u idiot, this stand up comedy was in 2000 obama wasn't president till 2008 or somthing like that. get ur facts straight

[aristides1002]

@69MinecraftGamer69 i know that you fucking hillbilly

[69MinecraftGamer69]

@aristides1002 hahah the funny thing is that im canadian. so stfu u goof

[aristides1002]

@69MinecraftGamer69 so?

[69MinecraftGamer69]

@aristides1002 so is that u call me a hillbilly and i'm canadian not a fucking texas fuck. im actually native u idiot

[aristides1002]

@69MinecraftGamer69 you are acting like a hillbilly motherfucker btw nice country i hope i go there sometime in my life :)

[lizzfrmhon]

Why am i being recommended a video by a little white nazi girl??

[Vicwereass11]

@lizzfrmhon i know right now i dont mean to sound mean but am i the only one that kinda wants to punch her in the face?

[Maxcaliberman]

fuck that pussy dave! fuck it hard

[bobbythehero]

Chivalry IS dead... and women killed it!

[gabrielx95]

nice car....."gotcha bitch"!!!!!Rofl

[kingdomkey92]

"Don't bust that nut yet we'll be right back" Lmao

[QB15goblue]

1. Suck his dick

2. Play with his balls

3. Fix him a sandwich

4. Don't talk so damn much

Then a couple dudes gives the standing O... HAHA!!!!

[adoboniga]

Don't bust that Nut yet we'll be right back.

[LadyVanHelsing713]

Why is Emma Watson in the sidebar?

[nic4obg]

05:00 and the genius starts...

[dwil42]

THE G.O.A.T.

[leon3624]

gusse barack obama should watch his back.

[sarkarkadir]

7:07 bottom right corner... lmao the girl makes the guy stop clapping

[jwesselvan]

This is awesome. When he was talking about the first black president. Well you have one now !! :D

[NinjamanJ57]

Suck his dick, play with his balls, make him a snadwich and dont talk so muc...LOL i died

[clipsryan]

Man, alot of comedians are the best kinda motivational speakers. They make you laugh and for the most part, don't bullshit you.

[bujoun76]

WTF I work at Safeway!!!

[LadyVanHelsing713]

3:07 They walked into that one...

[TheOriginalGrumpster]

After Dave lists off his 4 rules of "How to Please You Man," you see at 9:18 the men standing in agreement, INCLUDING the lone white dude in the bottom left-hand corner. Awesome show of unity. That one guy with the slap-happy gf surely missed out on that moment...

[LocoGroove]

"Get out there and be somebody" LMAO

[el3ment78]

"oh nice porche"...gotcha bitch!

[goldglove221m]

at 1:04 he just gave that dude a high five... that just shows how cool he is

[JulyArises]

"I DIDNT TOUCH THAT BITCH NIGGER, I'LL KILL YOU! FUCK YOU NIGGER, I'LL KILL YOU! PLEASE BELIEVE ME! PLEASE, BELIEVE ME!" Cracks me up everytime! Long live Dave Chappelle!

[andrewakadew]

@JulyArises love how he said nigga and not nigger.

[hELLrAZOR91100]

"You know um...you should lower taxes XD

[JerryBeatFreak]

The Chivalry is fucking true....I've seriously opend a door for a woman once, you know, to be polite. And she said "What the hell? Don't you think I can open a door myself?" Thank you feminist movement, So if we don't offer to open the door, we're assholes. But if we do, we're dicks....I know what I'll do, I'll open the door for you and then slam it into your face bitch....

[TheOriginalGrumpster]

@JerryBeatFreak Dude, I would have closed the door just as politely as I opened it, got back in the car, and taken her ass right back home, of course letting her open her own door this time as she got out. Women are always talkin about how "It's not my job to teach him what he doesn't know..." A chick who doesn't get the concept of something as known years over as chivalrous or "gentlemanly" acts is not a chick I wanna spend money on trying to get to know. Maybe that's harsh, but that's MHO...

[CreeWilly]

@JerryBeatFreak: Lol, she wouldnt know which arguement to throw at you. Confuse that bitch!

[Zimmertwin]

OBAMA FUCK THE WORLD

[stonerstevestv65]

ooh nice porsche

GOTCHA BITCH!

[regularcourse]

gatcha bitch- Counter STrike

[orangegenie]

Obama...watch out. hahaha

[ProjectileBurn]

don't bust that nut yet we will be right back LMAOOOOO

[saprissa9]

what did he said about ellian? if he was asian or haitian?

[jjbrun17]

"suck my dick, there's a future in it"

[DutchDennus]

i bet his first vote was for obama.

[ROCCDARAPPER]

funny as shit

[Hitsuguyatoshiro24]

whos Allion?

[c5sc]

@Hitsuguyatoshiro24  Elian Gonzalez....google it...

[RazorStorm40]

second or third is fine. so i guess he'll be running in 2012?

[TerminallyILLMusic]

hahaha, dude in the front row at 9;21

[NutinNeurolized91]

ha he talkin bout Obama

[7007babyjay]

"i aint touch that bitch! Nigga I'll kill you, Fuck nigga i'll kill you!! Please beleive me! Please beleive me!!"

lmao! how y gon threaten ur best friends then say "beleive me"?

that's a new one on me :D

[ElBrillante4]

@7007babyjay hahaha then you havent been in that situation yet

[Steveskies]

@7007babyjay

you spelt believe wrong three times, you're worse than Hitler.

[7007babyjay]

@Steveskies U can kiss my ass for u 2 compare me 2 Hitler

[iarhungry]

@7007babyjay It's believe, retard.

[7007babyjay]

@iarhungry stfu all cuz i spelled one word rong. Jumo off a bridge w tha shit!

[iarhungry]

@7007babyjay ROFL! You're such an illiterate retard.

[baseballplayax112]

oooh nice Porsche ...GOTCHA BITCH!

[serenz1445]

WAS HE AROUSED? HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA



[slygiraffe]

This man is fuckin Hilarious and all you douches can do is bitch about retarded politic shit? just fuckin enjoy what ur watching jeeze

[enjoihenkel9]

2008 Dave was callin Barrack

[yungboo902]

republican dont look at the white side of him,only the black

[skaterspwn]

Obama is awful. He is more like an Emperor than a president. He has gotten us into more wars and more debt than bush. Dave is right. The 1st one is terrible

[xbox360dude199811]

@skaterspwn hes a motherfuckin terrorist

[skaterspwn]

@xbox360dude199811 he should be impeached for breaking the war powers act!

[yungboo902]

@skaterspwn people wouldnt hate on him so much if he was a white republican

[skaterspwn]

@yungboo902 that is stupid. I think the whole republican or democrat is stupid. people should vote based on the presidents policy not what part he represents.

That is why I like Ron Paul. He is for restoring the constitution! something obama and all of our past presidents have stomped all over

[RUDY2295]

@skaterspwn yea damn straight.

[skaterspwn]

@yungboo902 race has nothing to do with it

[lizzfrmhon]

haha talking bout one day having a black president,..

[hbanawi]

hhhhaaaahha daves a freakin legend

[ChiggerLemon]

@PepsiWebcam Obama is still white, gtfo.

[lakersfan1974]

hey suck my dick there's a future in it,now go right a book,you're a qualified author

[SuperWayno2010]

Respond to this video...

[PepsiWebcam]

i like how he talks about one day a black president when there is one now..he like nostradamus

[7221991]

@PepsiWebcam *Negrodamus*

[crazylazy1212]

@PepsiWebcam All great ppl in life speak before their time like Biggy Smalls. C'mon "blow up like the world trade".

[Haseeebo]

@crazylazy1212 you're not very bright. There was a bomb threat in the world trade in 1990. THAT is what Biggie was talking about. Tupac also said "we ain't ready to see a black president" in changes, when it dropped in 97...does that mean he predicted it later it? No. It was just inevetible.

[irjerry3]

@PepsiWebcam negrodamus

[Radney12]

@PepsiWebcam more like negrodamus

[amrooo1405]

@PepsiWebcam you mean negrodamus

[jongmagee]

being on this comedy playlist watching all these stand ups

is making my Pre-Cal Homework A LOT easier lol

[joselucero805]

GOTCHA BITCH

[heathledgerish]

His Bill Clinton impersonation Lmfao

[baria87]

look at 9:20 this guy who got slapped from this woman - no reaction LMFAO

[TheSamee]

I love how the slaps the hand of the guy at 1:07

[MarkSpeedKills]

LMAO!! at 7:07 look at the couple in the bottom right corner.. the guy starts clapping then the girl slaps him like ''its not funny at all c'mon''!!!

[jbeez321]

YEAAAAAH WAS HE EROUSED!!!!!!

[214YoungKB]

DONT BUST THAT NUT YET WE'LL BE RIGHT BAK

LLAB !!

[LordGreenshake]

ooh nice porsche, GOTCHA BITCH!!!!

[trooperman100]

Ooh that is go out there and be somebody! Go right a book! LMAO

[BartekCorporation]

5:10 marks the most ironic part of this whoooooole standup xxD

[cstar191]

" a hundred ways to please your man by...some lady" lmaoooo

[shayla1986]

I wonder does Barack watch this... Lol

[vict0r1ous]

i didn't touch that bitch nigger i kill you

[wtfiypaw]

@vict0r1ous its "nigga", not "nigger". what is so damn hard about that?

[lilchasdogg101]

Gotcha Bitch

[emoboyslittingwrist]

7:58 is that the sound that people use on cs?

[Shinsatsusama]

Siiiiiiiiiiiiii ! HAHAHAHAH

[HizzleFozhizzle]

hmm.. nice porshe, gotcha bitch!

[fennix2010]

I didnt touch that bitch heheeheheh

[zimryanzim]

Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back

[Red10Ferrari]

I actually felt sorry for that guy at 7:07, what a bitch

[AciddReign]

@Red10Ferrari LMAO! i was looking for the guy and i laughed my ass off. That girl's a bitch and he's a bitch to stop clapping

[Bijomaru1joker]

@ 7:07 watch the bottom right hand corner of the picture, girlfriend/wife stops her man from clapping.................so sad.

[Bijomaru1joker]

god I miss The Chappelle Show........

[Bijomaru1joker]

27 people regret sucking a dick....

[shadowallstar9]

hey suck my dick theres a future in it

[kiwi047]

27 people are haitian.

[dancerchic117]

@kiwi047 i'm haitian

[nugster1]

EEEEHH! GOTCHA BITCH! LMAO!

[LandalinLSW]

(quote from Dave Chappelle's Killing Them Softly)

[titus161]

Suck my dick, there's a future in it. Oh that's it, now ,get out there and be somebody!! Lol!!

[ButtonsProduction3]

i dont get why when he put his nose to his mouth during the clinton bit was so funny.

[rockfx84]

@ButtonsProduction3 Seriously ? you dont get it ? its cause Clinton fingered her.... and was still smelling her vagina in his fingers.... thats what it means ! hahahahahha

[DeTymePOET]

@ButtonsProduction3 hes saying he didnt have sex... then smelling his finger... insinuating that he his smelling the scent of her feminine odor

[deeboiz]

'There could be a black president one day.. that nigga gotta watch out' xD

[micbrim]

I didnt touch that bitch nigga i'll kill you!!!! Fuck you nigga i'll kill youuu!!!

[jhkhlurt]

GO OUT THERE AND BE SOMEBODY!

[mastmonkey]

9:20 bottom right hand corner man looks to women for approval to clap. No eye contact made. Man's queue to ask her to quit being such a bi***

[vict0r1ous]

item build for dota channel me

[SZ720FM]

the woman at 7:07 made 27 accounts

[way2cool93]

@SZ720FM damn. i didn't even see that until just now. wtf is her problem? it's a comedy show, right? why is she so serious? dave chapelle rox!!!

[BabyAlchie]

Its kinda strange watching this when Obama is in power, 11 years later and his prediction is true. Obama FTW!

[Ketsui]

Please believe me! Please believe me!

[ThaBraftyCastard]

Gotcha Bitch!!

[fdunin91]

obama better watch out

[tenzallen]

funny thing is, she did make a book about it! its hilarious

[godbut]

Ouh nice porsche! Gotcha bitch!

[zgavectim]

now, after obama, chapelle should be president :D

[frosty1687]

27 people don't have a sense of humor

[chicsoccer1]

"Hey, suck my dick. There's a future in it."

"What?"

"Oh, that's it. Now, get out there and be somebody!"

[MasterSpeed7]

Look out, Obama!

[Yezzy92]

Lol sorry fella the boats full...good luck

[codeorangeXC]

LMAO Gotcha bitch!

[cernz]

talkin bout black president thats funny now there is one.

[TheOSullivanFactor]

dear fucking God I finally understand Joe Biden D:

[GigaGanonMan]

If only Obama took this niggas advice and got him a Mexican VP

[kellyFrecklescollins]

hahaha dave predicted the future!!! =D

[CapitalBhoy78]

DAVE CHAPPELLE = PROPER LEGENDARY COMEDIAN.

DANE COOK = PRICK LAMEASS CLOWN.

[DSpriceless]

@CapitalBhoy78 hater

[caractucus4]

@CapitalBhoy78 KEVIN HART = JESUS

[ZAC2994]

@CapitalBhoy78 fuck you they're both funny as fuck

[c4chimme]

@ZAC2994 no dane cook is wack

[LuiB13]

@ZAC2994 dane cook is fucking lame

[Drjusmar]

5:29 reads hundreds of articles on Obama...lol

[FreakyDeakyMia]

....Lol, Obama.

[gangsta46197]

who is elian?

[kaiseroso47]

@gangsta46197 little cuban boy

[mynameisTR0UBL3]

@gangsta46197 this little cuban boy who was taken away from his family in america and back to cuba(i believe, it may have been the other way around) in 2000 and it was basically ALL you heard about in the news

[gangsta46197]

@mynameisTR0UBL3 thanks man! haha i never understood what he was talking about

[qw27]

well, Obama fucked up with his VP

[Ler24oyJenkins]

PLEEEASE BELIEEVE MEE!!!!!DAVE IS A FUCKIN COMEDIC GENIUS

[DWinter501]

hahaha no one wants to be the first black president (obama watches this) ahh fuck

[daboxingking777]

GIVE IT UP FOR DAVE 1 OF THA BEST IN THIS LIFE TIME GLAD I GOT TO SEE,HEAR,AND LAUGH AT HIM U ARE GREAT THANK GOD

[raining0724]

Who needs school when you have Dave Chapelle on Youtube, you could learn so much just by watching him talking. From politics to terrisom.

[TeacherforLife]

"sucked us into an utopia" hahaha

[syedsaim]

I do kinda feel sorry for Monica.

[deepfried777]

LMAO @ every second

[darkowin]

oh looka mah man chapelle gettin dap from da crowd

[dizzyb111]

Dave Chapelle for president? Hell yeah, i'd vote!!!!

[MegaSmileyface97]

ohhh nice porsche gotta Bitch!!

[MrSyntheticDesign]

if only he knew that day that obama was gunna be pres... lol

[robertbutler714]

"suck my dick, theres a future in it!!!"

[92EZ]

GOTCHA BITCH!!

[wade2bosh]

i disagree with him about the car part. if i wanna buy a batmobile its cuz its nice....or a hybrid cuz itll save me money.

[seanmm318]

...when someone can suck your dick, and then theyre famous.

[luishernandez503]

oo nice Porsche got ya bitch lol