Married with children (Best sentence)

[DripztR]

whenever you heard this song-.."da nuh na nuh na nuh Bad to the bone..." you knew al was going to kick your funny bones' ass with his catch phrase or any other variation of it. LMAO

[macheezm0]

"Yeah, let's see the Japanese build a better one of those."

[Pr0LiFyCk]

best show ever!!!

[cs512tr]

how i feel being at work on a sunday....

[arthurtats]

(Peggy)..."Al, you missed me, (Al)..." Yeah, with every bullet so far...

[krayzeejojo]

Peg: *reading from a quiz in a typical woman's magazine*: Who would you rather spend the night with? A. Your wife, or B...

Al *interupts*: B.

[Remoniq]

Also one of the best lines:

Peg: "Why don't you take me to the beach?"

Al:"What's the point? You only find your way back."

[HolyRomanEmperor]

I like the one where Peggy is talking about spending money on something or other and Al says "Why don't we just collect original Picasso's? Hell, I make minimum wage - we can start with one of his bad ones".

[ronaldinhoakka3000]

Kelly: Daddy?.. Can i hav a thousand dollars?

Al: Sure Pumpkin, Ask Bud, i just gave him a million.

XD

This is the funniest to me! just don't remember which episode it is. Does anybody know?

[stingme88x]

Knock at the door*

peg: go get it al, it must be that pizza i ordered for you

al opens the door, its marcy*

al: well is flat and cheesy but it aint no pizza!!

[Remoniq]

I love the way he says that line.

[mykeymike]

Bud & Kelly asking fo a new car:

AL:''tjees lo-ise why I didn't think of that'' while showing his empty pockets: ''NEW CARS FOR EVERYBODY'' Peg, would you like a BMW.?

Peggy:'' I Kinda see my self in a Jaguar''

Al:''Ohww If we only can find one that hungry"..

comes from the no chicken, no check episode; season 8

[amazingdany]

-What does the toilet have that I don't?

- A JOB!

[chiefnut48]

That is pretty funny

[NaomiGigi]

@chiefnut48 WTF?! PRETTY funny?! That's dammit AMAZING!!!

[thndrct218]

Marcy: Why are you so negative?

Al: WHY DID YOU CROSS THE ROAD?!?!

[vb3347]

Peg: I want a vacation.

Al: Peg, if you wanna visit someplace new, try the kitchen. Oh, and why don't you get a picture of yourself with the refrigerator. You know, "Ol' Empty"?

[MJ4evainourhearts]

one of my favorites was:

Al: I would like the record to show, that I would rather sleep in a bunk bed under Oprah, I would rather engage in a frolicking threesome with Roseanne and her cool husband, I would rather play naked twister with every one of the Golden Girls, than have that little screaming Doodiee gyser at the end of my bed.

[504BoyLuisLopez]

@MJ4evainourhearts When Al said ''I would rather play naked twister with every one of the Golden Girls'', I laughed so hard.

[EDMelodic]

I BEST one is really:

Steve: Uhhh, excuse me, but.. doesn't anybody know that this is against the law?

Al: So is dressing up a chicken and calling it your wife.

[MyStretfordEnd]

am i the only one who has seen all the episodes and still enjoy watching em now - still class - the best show ever

[MAtukulis]

I very like married with children and I almost saw all ep

[homealone971]

One of the best has to be:

Guide: You are where every animal goes when they dies.

Buck: Oh no, I'm in Oprahs fridge

[kellyberry]

marcy: a maniac could walk in ans kill you . AL: YEAH LIKE I EVER GET WHAT I WANT

[whitesprite]

@kellyberry Pretty fucking amazing. It was only two lines of dialogue, and somehow you still failed to transcribe it properly.

[xXxKINGLUIxXx]

@kellyberry thank you so much for that......

[ronaldinhoakka3000]

I thought the most hilarious joke was that kelly asked for a thousand dollars, it went like this.

Kelly: Dad can i have thousand dollars

Al: Oh sure ask bud i just gave him a million LOL XD

[BlackDynamiteNYC]

The best sentence in the history of this show is from Bud Bundy to Jim Jupiter:

"Hi, I'm Jim Jupiter. The healthiest man in Chicago!"

"I'm Bud Bundy. Studliest Man on Earth!"

[hunhun23]

Peggy: Would you ever dance for me, Al?

Al: only at the end of a rope!

[cheeriosinabowl]

@hunhun23

ROFL !!

[albuorkka]

what does he say in the end? ^^' I can't figure it out. "yeah, like I get rid of what I want"?

[2b3the1]

@albuorkka Like I ever get what I want. hehehe.

[arthurtats]

Peg: " AL, HOW COME YOU NEVER GET ME ROSES

Al: " I I I I DON'T LIKE YOU PEG".....that's the best one episode, (The Undergraduate)

[TazarZero]

My favorite is when Al and Marcy discuss why Kelly should or shouldn't be a model in a beer commercial:

Al: Marcy, let me explain something to you.... Bock, Bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock, bock.

Marcy: (turns to Jefferson) (irritated) Oh Very funny!

Jefferson: (after laughing his tookus off) She's right Al!

XD

[ljoufhk]

"Peg, the box said 'Al' on it. What did you think that meant?"

"Well...... I thought it was short for...... Al.......ot of money for whoever finds it. But the guy who was writing it was killed before he could finish writing."

[crelady]

@ljoufhk LMBO! 

[Bennyboy087]

Contender for best line in the series:

Peg: Al did you miss me?

Al: With every bullet so far...

BAM!

[cheeser33]

I love married with children!  And I agree with the last comment ^^

[chachihatesjoanie]

One of my favorite lines was when Al shot Steve and Marcy's dog. Marcy asks Steve if he's sure the dog is dead. Steve says he's sure. Marcy: "how do you know?" Steve: "well, one...he didn't respond to any of my commands and two....his brains are in the begonias". Fucking classic.

[laiosto]

Peg,"Aaa-al what are you thinking?"

Al,"If I wanted you to know I'd be talking." That is the best line on this show.

[jad3948]

@laiosto lol yes

[chopkins91]

LMFAO! Ed O'Niel is the funniest guy to ever hit tv

[coolwafferman]

The best line Al has ever said was.... "Let's Rock" Classic!

[garycalgary]

the best line was hello marcy i thought i heard some cluckin.

[KingHarkinian]

@KyleGibbons91 yeah that's one of my favorites! xD

[WaterCursed]

I luv when marcy brings a chicken in a pot, and bundy said

Al: " Why congratulations marcy, i didn't know u were expecting "

xDD EPIC !!!!!!!!

[CNB2001]

Best one has to be:

Peg: Hi Al, miss me?

Al: Only with every bullet so far

[cs512tr]

@CNB2001 yea! lol good one

[TheKarolinaG]

why should i be attractive, im married with children.

((I think this is the best line Al said.))

[fwpk13kkosta1991]

the one phrase that i use also from al...."Let's rock!'

[JakeDunnNomad]

mine is:

Al:Honey what do we have for breakfast?

Peg:Nothing

Al:We had that yesterday..

[angellguardiandl0111]

"ya like i ever get what want" lol

[devils19040]

My favorite sentence from this show is:

Al:  Marcy, in the words of your own people, cluck no!

[rob3rthatesu]

One of the funniest lines is "Oh Marcie congrtzs I didn't know u where expecting" (Marcie holding a chicken) that was gold I was weezing that day lmao

[Hanske90]

Nonono the best MWC line ever is: "Those are tears Jefferson!"

The hardcore fans will know it :p

[snikers4eto]

@Hanske90 ahahahah yeah that was HILARIOUS!!!

[GaiaCleavr]

WELL, YOU'RE A CHICKEN!

[youthadvisorygroup]

what episode is this sentence from?

[oxidonis2010]

My best is:

Peg: Honey, did you miss me?

Al: With every bullet so far...

[IMDARKFIRE007]

wrong!! the best line ever was when al and peg were coffin shopping and peg said "be dead with me al" and al uttered the most brilliant line of ALL time....."i married you till death do us part, which means when im dead, im free to date!!" hahahahahah

[croatloveo1]

I love all the fat women jokes at Al’s shoe store. One I can remember is the little kid says to his fat mum ," mum I want a balloon" and al says " you already have a balloon"

[AmericanPride1234]

Al Bundy for President

[ShrikeCult]

Best line of all time is when Kelly proves a point to Bud and then says: The prostitution rests...

[craigsgirl48167]

Ed O'Neil is the shit...everything he says is comic gold

[ashkaradur718]

I miss this show :(

The BEST show ever!

Something I will make my future son watch!

Be like "Son...it's timei you learn the values of being a man" *Put in the DVD of Married With Children* "Happy Hunting Son, hope you learn what it means to be a man through this show"

[sdcazares1980]

Al Bundy rushes to the door, thinking that it's pizza, but it turns out to be Marcy

Marcy (startled): Hi Al.

Al (facing Peggy): It's flat, it's cheesy, but it's no pizza. Peg, Frosty the No Man, is here.

[gruen2006]

My favourite MWC line is from Steve: "Al, I'm horny, what're you going to do about it?"

[SjaanK85]

Peggy comes home from shopping.

Peg: 'Hi honey, did you miss me?'

Al: 'With every bullet so far.'

[KelzVolnutt]

@SjaanK85 hahahahahah do you know what season and episode is that from? thats so funny. i just got season 1, this is the best show

[SjaanK85]

@KelzVolnutt I can't remember, i'll look it up for ya!

[SjaanK85]

@KelzVolnutt I'ts from season 5 episode 2, "we'll follow the sun"

That's when they want to go to the beach, but get stuck in traffic, and beat the

crap out of another family who insult Al. Cheers!

[KelzVolnutt]

@SjaanK85 thanks a lot! i downloaded the whole season haha i remember that episode when i watched it its so funny. this show is a classic. that fight with the other family is hilarious.

[Chemognoza]

(Al's uncle left 0,5 mil to one of his nephews and lawyer is about to read the last will)

Peggy: "Al, I want You to know: If it's gonna be you - I love You."

Al: "Peg, if it's gonna be me - I don't even know You."

ROFLcopter x)

[Kluivert23]

Where the beer gives you gas but the bundy's kick ass..... at the nudie bar

greatest sitcom ever

[bloodguzzler]

Marcy: Which brings us to our flatware...

Al: Hey, I didn't steal your bra!

[D77X]

please join my facebook group Al bundy 4 president

[3lgar1]

When I was a young boy and didn't know any better, I wanted to be just like Al Bundy, nowadays, I know better, and at times, yes I do wanna be like Al Bundy. You can call me Al, since Alexander is my full name anyway.

[chelioshit]

Al Bundy is the greatest TV dad ever. I just wish they would actually have a reunion show where they reprised there roles.

[FoolishFoolin]

congratulations Peg you just won a trip to Disneyfist

[AmericanPride1234]

Al Bundy for President

[mchammer212]

Al Bundy for "the decider".

[cr4zylyfe]

from the ep the good the bud and the kelly

al:Dont worry peg no food for me tonight

peg:Like you were getting any

al:ha ha ha back at you peg......lmfao

[mcoor88]

or another one : greetings vultures :D

[ChuckNorrisIsNothing]

@mcoor88 here yet another one

al (goes to door): oh god please send me a killer (opens door , steve waiting)

al: alright, that'll do as well as any

[DisneyVillain]

Marcy's orgasmic speech is the funniest,and so is when Al humiliates Bud in school.

[MWCstream]

Nice Video, If you want to see Married With Children Full Streaming Episodes Check out my Videos

[candycamaro]

i dont even know if i would be able to chose a best line from married with children they are all great

[sdseals2076]

That is the funniest line.

[MetalScull]

And the best thing is that Al loves his family after all...

[welcome2mytruth]

There are so many lines that make me crack up -

When Al was buying a new Car, he announces it to 'his family' and standing behind Peg he says -

'Everything I have ever owned has been used. My house, my car, my....'and Peg sits there on the sofa while Al looks at her from behind!

[SPQR62]

That is sooooooo me!

[sea6789]

What about when Al said "Peg, kids, get ready to torture me - I'm home."

[shadsta54]

BEST LINE is when a gypsy is at thier house.

Gypsy: i feel great vibrations in this house (she sits on their couch)

Al: honey did u leave ur toy under the couch again?

Peggy: no its in the shop being supercharged!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[victor9245]

Peggy: "Did you miss me?"

Al: "With every bullet so far."

Al: "My kingdom for a driveby"

[mwtmtt]

wat season and episode is that from

[kzfive]

My favorite line is when Al ask Bud

"Son are we alone"?

Bud says "Yes Dad"

Al says "Good then you're the only one I have to get rid of"

[PvtNikko]

"Eiiiiisenhoward..."

[TheSilent12]

one of the best lines i think is

Al : Peg , we are married for 15 years now , cant we just be friends.

[CoolKid562]

@TheSilent12 Peg :Al ,no I dont like you I just wanna have sex with you

[shadsta54]

ONE of the best lines. Al is talking to skool librarian who is fat.....

LIBRARIAN: could it be that u dont have 2 thousand dollars, could it be that you became the loser i dubed you to be.

AL: could it be that the nails holding your chair together are from planet krypton. lool

[chicago6584]

My favorite line from MWC was:

Kelly: Daddy we don't have any food

Al: My underwear has no elastic

[shadsta54]

@chicago6584 lol saw that one the other day

[Totaly14]

in my opinion the best line is

peg "I wanna have sex on the kitchen table"

Al ".....I wanna have a meal on the kitchen table" LOL

[jdw211]

What about the episode where bud goes skydiving. And Al says.. (laughing) "Ya know, for a million dollars I wouldn't jump out of an airplane..." Then Peggy says, "Al, ya landed on Kiss the Neighbor..." (referring to Marcy) .. the rest you gotta see for yourself. type in key words to find the episode (it's on YouTube)

[94052775]

please, what is season and epizode this video? thx

[DrHotSauce]

Bud:  Dad, I need to talk.

Al: Son, it's not that I don't care...oh sure, that's part of it.

LOL

[sea6789]

What about "Because... because... YOU'RE A CHICKEN!"

[iluvvalentina]

Al: Sure, I know I make a few errors today. For instance, *points to Kelly, Peggy, and Bud*, 1,2, and 3!

[TakersDarkAngel1]

the best sentences in MWC is pretty much everything Al says.

The guy's hilarious.

[Maxipad44142]

Thats why hes the Undesputed KING

[sea6789]

@TakersDarkAngel1- I agree 100%, every word out of Al's mouth is purely epic.

[jat470]

One of my favorite lines is when Peg is trying to get some romance from Al and he replies:

"We've been married for 16 years Peg...can't we just be friends?"

[RADKRAZY]

Or..."Why go out for milk whenyou have a cow at home"

[ram841]

the best line of all is when Peg comes home and she said " Did you miss me Al? " and Al replied with " With every bullet so far! "

[KristenBellUnited]

If you think that was the best 'sentence' ever, you obviously have not been watching Married With Children very long.

[paint9er]

No my friend, the best sentence of the show was when Al said (I saw this, like last night, so I'm not a fanatic, it's just stuck in my head) to a gang leader: "To women, men are just amusement rides with life insurance."

[lizzie55love]

by far best sitcom who ever agrres message me

[gretschplaya]

I agree! I have Seasons 1 - 8 right now. Darn Best Buy ran out of Season 9. >:(

[lizzie55love]

@eugdog106 - I know , i just typed it fast

[samazoozoo]

@lizzie55love 

[DCakaElfboy]

@lizzie55love Dam straight lizzie it's the greatest show ever which is pretty good cause there are some great shows out there but none can run with married with children

Give me a whoa bundy

[viteza5]

i fucking agree...i cant stop laughing..funny...al bundy is the best

[brethart4life]

@lizzie55love yup :D 

[trenis]

@lizzie55love third best ever, after seinfeld and CYE

[DeatgMagnet]

@trenis Im sry, let me fix you there buddy. You made a typo: "The best ever after Married Witch Children and Married With Children.

[sandroeleven]

@lizzie55love why?

[aboyborninjune]

@lizzie55love I think I agree!

[vgmulva3]

@lizzie55love def the best sitcom i watch it everynite haha on TBS

[mcoor88]

AL who had just insulted a fat woman...

she sais : how dare you to say that in my face?

Al : I would try to say it behind your back, but my car only has a half a tank of gas!

hilarious superb :D:D:D !!!!

[GaiaCleavr]

Peggy: How come you never take me to the beach, Al?

Al: What's the point, you always find your way back.

[dudebasssit]

the best dialog is off season 7, episode 5,

what i did for love

Peg - which reminds me al, i want sex

Al - so do i, but i see no reason to drag you into it

[TheBallowner]

That is he's thoughts of the best sentence not yours...

[comgeek24]

In my opinion, one of the best lines is from the episode, "Damn Bundys" in which Jefferson and Marcy walk in, and Al has to repeat the insult, "Well, look who crossed the road...I'd say it was a chicken, but it doesn't have any breasts, just nuggets".

[Bauer753]

best line is when Al gets glasses and he picks up Peg's picture and says, "What the hell is this"

[Kikuga]

full on!! that is the best!!!!!

[Xanadhor]

''yeah, like i ever get what i want''

oh my fucking god i'm laughing 'til death

[adrian194589]

another good one is when Al is at the gas station with Al and the funny paperboards with one saying"erotic massage 12$ ". A car stops and Al switches the other side of the paperboard:"no men". Funny as hell

[BlackMasster]

Jefferson's laughing and trying to hide it :))

[TonySav17]

another great line was when peggy came runnin upstairs from basement and yelled about sumthin disgusting and horrible down there and AL said..." whats wrong, you see the vacuum?"

[InfiniteMushroom]

Best dialog - from the day Al Bundy brought home the Mighty Ferguson Toilet

Peg: "What does that toilet have that I don't? "

Al: "A job"

[DrynSarcastic360]

woot

[pokemonlovers11]

Yeah, like I ever get what I want. That goes for my brother, and my dad.

[Remoniq]

One of the best answers ever!

[badgers2011rosebowl]

that was pretty good

-be cool don't watch family guy-

[DaisyPatchie97]

I agree!

[atlanticc2000]

wuhahahhahahahahahahahaha fucking shit

YEA RIGHT IF I EVER GET WHAT I WANT lmfaooo

hes the real genius

[vlunney]

NO MAAM is the third party america was waiting for!!:)

[JediMasterLego]

true :-P . i really wish it was a political party! :-P

[Nanaman12345]

AL IS KING!

[namrahecnal]

lol

[mihaispinoche]

EPIC !!!!

[Anosh16]

Lol awsome!!!