FOTC - Notable Quotables

[cookiegurl777]

LETS MAKE A CAKE

[sheplovesbucky]

Jermaine has this weird sexy thing about him.

[Mastoloni1]

haha he may be "dead". Maybe he "did"...no he might be dead, ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME!

[orangemma68]

dubbed video... dub!

[bboooobbyy]

Is that Daryl Hall at the start of the video??

[miss77sunshine]

@bboooobbyy I noticed that too

[MissHeylloo]

Flute of the Commodores lol

[jonjon159]

6:15

[viperchris34]

Aw very rock&roll Brett.

[siebenny]

i had a budge but it died............ I like pie

[xtrevorx187x]

is that an mg42 on the chalk board lol  00:24

[SrgtMajDoucheBag]

Talking Stove FTW!!!!!!!!!!

[ifthisthingsaysthat]

"you look like an ogre, that works in the library"

[mortiki85]

a casual prince

[Rivertam123]

@madmonkey0507 he's saying 'flip'.

[madmonkey0507]

does Bret say 'Flub' or 'Flup'??

[southofaucklandposse]

@madmonkey0507 FLIP its definately a saying in NZ like oh flip instead of oh f**k

[ARoundB0x]

"Sandwich hit my face" = best haha

[kileymae1802]

oh flup!!

[OneAndForAll]

'You left me to die!'

'I wouldnt have done it if I knew you were going to hassle me about it..'

[DGYDP]

Another kind of biscuit?

[DrPoon]

Oh leggy blonde you got it going on, wanna see you wearing that thong thong thong.

See you get it on till the break of dawn duminumnua, panties on.

lol

[damiensmusic]

bye bye david bowie

[FreakyNewGuy]

Oh, oh... Who's eating? :3

[spacemonkeygaz]

Thanks for the acids

[lilacifyable]

I had a budgie but it died

I like.......PIE

[waitingformypopcorn]

Im pretty sure every single line from the video has been quoted in the comments, in case your video doesn't work...

[ramonaflowers2]

i love bret <3

[mmasonhauser]

the talking stove!

[0Hawklight0]

taking all of these lines out of context makes it so much funnier!

[mcguirerocks]

You left out the best part of the "Fleetwood Mac situation" quote:

Murray: "Mind you, they did make some of their best music then."

Bret: "Rumors."

Murray: "No. That's all true."

[Michael4TheWin]

Bret's sweaters are gangster

[juggernautdeath1]

THEY GOT DEMETRI MARTIN??? 

[lnfreeman]

@juggernautdeath1 yeah, they practically started him - at least i'd never heard of him til after this show

[maxochic1]

You left out "I got tomato in my sleeve."

[reeka411]

dubbed video dubbed

man i cried

[Proudnewfoundlander1]

"I like pie !" Hahahahah

[mdogger7]

It's The Talking Stove!

[ralphhearsey]

funny



[jnavonoD]

It's an american car the handbrake's on this side. Ah, must have just adjusted the seat.

[cjubajube]

Ha love it! Shouldn't argue in front of the map!

[arsenal55555]

I wish i was a pastry chef and sniper

[josephd183]

she's so hot, she's making me sexist... bitch!

[SocrTrump]

You're too easily offended.

I can't believe you just said that!

[VampireErika32097]

What song is at 1:05 :D it sounds awesome XD

[BooJoMan]

@VampireErika32097 leggy blonde

[lemongrapes]

@VampireErika32097 Leggy Blonde ^^

[NobleNihilist]

flute of the commadors!! hahahahahah

[akirashinigami]

This could have used more Mel.

[cheekypants321]

27 people don't love the talking stove :(

[JordoGlancie]

she's so hot shes making me sexist... bitch LMFAO

[GoreSmasher]

26 people have their own opinions.

[TheKirk15]

Wear the eye patch brett, wear the funky funky eye patch

[BettySue7]

1:12 - 1:19 <33hmmm:D

[HomebrandMusic01]

@YouCanChangeFate They're the 4th best flute-based Commodores tribute act in New Zealand

[cocobrown3001]

Gow fark yourself Brit

[omgshift111]

Jemaine you look like an ogre... that works in the library.

Classic!

[MacSnowball]

26 People got Sandwitch in their face D: ( take that @geekusa201 )

[MacSnowball]

26 People got Sandwitch in their face D:

[sanpedro9000]

steve!

[rich1874]

Hahaha..Guitboard..

[geekusa201]

26 people *insert fotc reference* now give me thumbs up

[blazerizor]

@geekusa201 You sicken me.

[GoreSmasher]

@geekusa201 GeekUSA is an incredible song from an incredible album.

[RJworden101]

No... Not in front of the Map..

[supastah2345]

sandwich at my face!!

[GiefGoldPlx]

What are you on your way to dick meeting?

[dannythesuperfreak]

Bret, im doing all the work in this conversation.

[Xx13UNN1xX]

"... Not that I did it..."

[lanzfriszt]

...she got two jobs, she's a pastry chief and a sniper.

[flapjaxxc]

murray's face at 3:09 is classic beyond belief

[bamwo]

Dubbed Video Dub.

[hunip098]

Only New Zealanders can totally understand this humour

[Writergurl24]

@hunip098 Lol, I understand this, and I'm not a Kiwi. My boyfriend is however, so I'm let in with all the kiwi jokes haha. So yes, I do understand most of this xD

[hunip098]

@Writergurl24 why are you telling me this I DONT CARE

[Writergurl24]

@hunip098 Just thought I'd let ya know xD No need to ge so uptight about it. 

[hunip098]

@Writergurl24 FUCK OFF!!!!

[Writergurl24]

@hunip098 o.O no need to get so uptight about it mate. lol I'm just kidding around with ya. Sorry to mess with your aura lol

[princesstamika]

@hunip098 If that were true they wouldn't have been a runaway success in America.

[GoreSmasher]

@hunip098 False. I'm American and I love awkward, deadpan humor.

[hunip098]

@GoreSmasher your an american who loves oppressing native americans invading the middle east and owning slaves from West Africa to work for you

[ThunderBullitt]

@hunip098 Ha...wow you're an ignorant bigot. I've never oppressed a Native American or owned a slave. I wasn't born till the 1970's. I guess you actually thought I was a few hundred years old. Anyway, now that we've cleared that up, maybe you'll not be such a bigot.

[hunip098]

@ThunderBullitt you americans are the most arrogant people in the world. thats why everyone else in the world hates you. Youre whole lifes revolve around America, you know nothing of the world around you. Americans are the dumbest most ignorant people on the earth. And you calling me a bigot for stating the truth about the history of your country shows your'e ignorant naivety

[GoreSmasher]

@hunip098 It's Thunder. Apparently you didn't understand my point. I was saying that slavery and slaughter of native Americans had nothing to do with me because I wasn't even born. You are ignorant and a bigot because you lump a whole nation of individuals into one stereotype. Ironic that you're calling Americans stupid when you missed my entire point. You've shown a thousand times more bigotry, ignorance, and hatred just in these few posts than this American who you don't know, yet hate.

[hunip098]

@GoreSmasher the question you gota ask yourself is, what country am i from? Your'e from America.

Well im from New Zealand i think based on that alone im the better man. My country is 1000 times better than your country and thats a fact even you can't deny that. New Zealanders are cooler than Americans therefore im better than you

[GoreSmasher]

@hunip098 You're actually not a man. A real man wouldn't have such ignorant, infantile mindsets. Also, since you obviously hate America, I suggest you do the honorable thing and stop using this American site or watching the Conchords since it's on an American cable channel. Brett and Jemaine would think you were a douche.

[hunip098]

@GoreSmasher Bret and Jemaine would think im a douche? haha are you kidding we come from the same hometown you idiot. Me and brett both went to the same high school, i know all his mates. we from the same town. i know bret. I went to school with Jemaines cousins and little sister, my brother is mates with jemaine ive met him too. i knew both of them before they were famous. They hate America they only went their for the money now there back in Wellington. don't act like you know fotc u dick

[GoreSmasher]

@hunip098 Ha they only worked for HBO because of the money? So you're calling them sell outs. You're claiming they hate America, yet work for an American company for money. That's selling out. If they're actually as pathetic as you, that would be really sad since their comedy is so great. Yes, as an American, I fully appreciate and love their brand of sarcastic, deadpan humor. I'd like to see their reaction to you publicly stating that they hate Americans and claiming to know them.

[hunip098]

@GoreSmasher damn it... you win. i just write comments like this to make up for my own insecurities. ima nobody im 45 years old and still live with my mom. I am a racist biggot and an idiot. The only reason i get into fights like this on youtube is to cover up the fact that im a nobody. I attack truely great men like yourself to give me 1 ounce of satisfaction in my meaningless life. Im a loser and an idiot. NZ is a piece of shit compared to the only remaining super power in the world today, USA

[GoreSmasher]

@hunip098 New Zealand seems like a beautiful place with very nice women. Deviant women. I'm not stating that the US is any better than New Zealand. My point is that people are individuals regardless of where they're born.

[GoreSmasher]

@hunip098 Matter of fact, you're an embarrassment to your country. That's fact. If I was stating such ignorant, stupid, bigoted things as you are, I would be an embarrassment to mine. Thankfully for your country, I wouldn't be so foolish.

[hsrsfdhe]

26 people wouldnt fuck me even if i was wearing a wig

[Freewithoutwalls]

26 people got sworn at by Murray

[kellencolewright]

26 people need to work on their people skills

[matthemod]

I love the way there are a whole bunch of little New Zealand/British (because they are the same here) colloquialisms. Reminds me that this is a truly global show.

[Ishlam]

hey to the american guys watching this video, the guy hanging out with the bandana on his head is an Australian guy and one of the lines was that he didn't understand what the other guys were saying because of their accent

[clintond89]

@Ishlam no. you're wrong. Arj barker is american. gtfo

[Ishlam]

@clintond89 i know, im just being a douche

[RevSvc17]

LOL 6:18

[golden24680]

"Yeah, she's got two jobs: she's a pastry chef and a sniper!" xD

OMG I LOVE THIS

[creamyfilling102]

i must have just adjusted the seat then....hahaa

[henhicktaimon]

aww you cut off "you're the dickhead brett" at the end ;(

[trulybazlol]

"dick meeting!" lol

[animexecstacy]

"I don't think you should do it man you're too easily offended."

"I can't believe you just said that."

Oh how I love them so! <3

[jwillgwill21]

What song is at 1:07

[beckyleed3]

@jwillgwill21 Leggy Blonde

[TheSchoolsux345]

talking stove ahahahaahaha "lets make a cake"

[madeinamerica13]

"awwww, lets make a cake"

[trouserama]

How about when Bret loses his depth perception with the funky funky eye patch!

[nphec]

wow thats a pretty definitive collection, ive never watched the show ive only seen youtube clips, it looks awesome i think i need to get the first season now

[cooley898]

"Jermaine you look like an ogre, that works in the library."

hahaha:L:L

[TheShiels123]

Fulp I shall start saying that now:L

[antz045]

It's never right to fight in front of the map

[moxthexmoose]

greatest video on the internet.

[DrPoon]

Lets make a cake!

That makes me laugh and feel good at the same time.

[ninhammark]

your like the most hated race in america.... what about black people... yea they hate you to

[hotnheavy81]

Classic!!...kooky David Bowie visits..."It's a git board"...rofffl

[kingofphools]

"You're like a couple of cool-looking... idiots." XD

[Insatanic]

Murray you wouldn't swear at us...

GO FUCK YOURSELF, BRET.

[ko02]

@Insatanic Love that part too. haha.

[hillysats]

"Bye David Bowie"

[TheKirk15]

I need to find the footage of the tour, when they're in the car, talking about the bus on the list haha

[apa524]

shes so hot shes making me sexist.... bitch!

[melissatheranga]

Go Fcuk yourself Bret!

[EyeWatchMovies]

"I can't believe you got that job and I didn't"

"You need to work on your people skills"

"Shut up, Bret"

[TrollFoodz]

Omg I forgot Demetri Martin was in the Doggy Bounce episode!

[canuckchick9]

FLIP

[LuigieatsBabies]

"is it a really big biscuit" "no"

[zalmanusa]

Did Steve tell you that, perchance?

[TheAnxiousMan]

That casual prince joke is amazing to me.

[happik]

It's not a DVD anyway!

Yes it is! Dub Video Dub!

Lmao!!!

[JamesD423]

The talking stove sounds a lot like Albie The Racist Dragon...

[MunttherX]

"aargh, let's make a cake!" 

[yesiamawizardjonny]

"No. I don't think you should do it. You're too easily offended. "

"I can't believe you just said that to me!"

HAHA

[KuhlKatze]

Talking stove ftw!

[TheKirk15]

Or is it a really big biscuit?

Stop comparing everything to top gun.

A Central park, in newark.

Go fuck ya self brett. Some of the Funniest quotes haha.

[OhDearKeita]

I think i heard you in the bathroom afterwards being.. a little bit bulimic LMAO

[MoonShoesPotter1997]

Oh Flup! SANDWHICH hit my face! Wear the eye patch Bret, wear the funky funky eye patch Bret. Bye Bret. Bye-bye David Bowie!

Oh It's my favorite box!

[Fidler288]

Excuse me but i don't think Monogomay is legal is this country, i don't know where you're from

[asianinvasion0530]

"Chicks are attracted to lonely guys - it's a psychological analogy!" Hahahahaha =]

And I'm totally going to start saying "flup" now.

[asianinvasion0530]

OMG I loved this. Thanks for putting this up!

FOTC (and Demetri Martin) FTW!

[TheRipperRypien]

Talking stove gets me every time.

[cdawg612]

WOAH! whos eating.... Greg did you hear that? LOL

"Turns out she's very aggresive." "Did she hit you?" LOL

"Murry you wouldn't swear at us." "Go f**k yourself Bret!"

[EatMeBeatMeGirl]

Dub Video Dub..... :) Good selection mate.

[razvaNazdravan]

It's not fair! Lots of crappy shows go on for 100 seasons , but the funniest just gets to air 2 seasons :(

[hameed]

@razvaNazdravan makes complete sense. They have to write 3 songs ish each episode. Its not that simple

[Ignition91]

I love how proud Murray looks when he says

"Jermaine. You look like an orge that works in a library".

[davidgoesmoo]

this was moderately pleasurable

[PeterRabid]

"I don't think you should do it, you're too easily offended."

"I can't believe you just said that!" LOL

[Logangee4]

You need "Banana Balls" in this one haha

[vixhouse01]

" I was wearing make-up, i had lightning bolts in my wanger!"

[BigOleBails]

"Is it a guitar, or keyboard?"

"Exactly"

[asianinvasion0530]

@BigOleBails LOVE Demetri Martin!

[whypas]

''Wear the eyepatch, Brett. Wear the funky, funky eyepatch.'' XD

[nickerrides]

My favorite is " you know what your problem is, your attracted to bastards, bastard girls"

[abillionpaperstars]

arug, let's make a cake.

[2HootHoot]

"...she's got two jobs, she's a pastry chef and a sniper."

OMG heka funny!!

[luckyDancer100]

ohhh i just adjusted the seat...

[mymusicisyou]

It is impossible for me to see Jermaine singing his thong song and not laugh. AMAZING!!! <3

[Stigmedz]

I LOVE THE TALKING STOVE

[elamentri]

You can't tame the J-dog lol

[hespe19]

sandwich at my face!

[iwannagiveuarosey]

we shouldnt even be arguing in front of the map XD

[gagiteebo]

'Yeah well you need to work on your people skills'

'Shut up Brett'

[kossieB]

He may be dead

haha genius

[GoreSmasher]

@kossieB He maybe did what?

[engalando]

GO F**K YOURSELF BRET :L:L:L XD

[annyid8]

it wouldn't be gay to put a wig on a man and pretend they're a woman.. how could that be gay if you're pretending they're a woman?

love jemaine and mel best.. legend show

[magwaaf]

at 1:57 who's voice is that? like what character not the actual actor...

[fredharter1]

its eugene

[peel432]

@magwaaf

That's Eugene Mirman. He's Bret and Jemaine's landlord, who keeps annoying them about rent but also barges in at the randomest times.

[MolesAsses]

You can't e-mail all the fans and tell them we're gonna have man-man-lady threesomes.

[jacksonest93]

''Yeah she's got two jobs. She's a pastrie chef and a sniper" HA HA HA

[downundaTV]

you look like an ogre...that works in the library XD

[GrittyMcCheese]

I fuckin love this.