You could raise more money sitting outside a tube station, with a hat on the ground, even if you were twice as ugly as you are which is VERY UGLY INDEED.
...this must be a very upsetting time for you. Do you have anything more to say in your defence?
you could raise more money by sitting outside the tube station with a hat on the ground, even if you were twice as ugly as you are, which is very ugly indeed!!
Twenty years ago this seemed far fetched but the BBC News Channel is exactly like this now. Now over to our technology correspondent Rory Kettleson Jones who will repeat exactly what I've already told you and very slowly.
@TheStickyBlack It's just like a mock news programme. It's presented as being real, but it's not, like The Office or mockumentaries such as This Is Spinal Tap
It's not sympathy, he's furthering the story. The smirk as he finishes the segment is absolutely amazing. Morris - absolute master of any medium he puts his hand to.
@twentyfoursevenable A lot of people have been fooled by the good acting in this clip. I realised it was fake soon after posting that comment anyway. go shove a rusty pitchfork up your arse.
Pretty much every line, expression and shot in this sketch is gold, I particularly like his suggestion of "auctioning dogs". After hearing that the 1st time I knew I'd love this show. True Classic.
Also, Sebastian Coe would not have had his peerage when this was broadcast - 1994 - so it isn't his peerage as to why people dislike him. Morris often pokes fun at Conservative members, e.g. Michael Heseltine. Hope that helps :)
Heh, no. He was first a professional athlete, and then he became a member of the British parliament. In 2000, they made Sebastian Coe a life peer, which is basically a lord who sits in our House of Lords, but the title 'Lord' cannot be retained by his children - the Lordship only exists within his lifetime, as it were.
At the time, in an interview in Time Out, Chris Morris said that when London Tonight came on the air they thought "No! They beat us to it!" (or words to that effect).
"Tomorrow sees the opening of the London Jam Festival, selling Jams, some made by celebrities"
Why does he hate Seb Coe? He probably doesn't he's just being deliberately obstropious. If you want to see the presenter he's kind of aping, do a seach on Jeremy Paxman. A legend of British broadcasting!
...country's growing distrust of nobility - Lord Coe is a conservative peer, you see. It's amusing, since he used be hailed as an Olympic hero. I hope I've settled your confusion. :)
The opening sentence begins: "Tommorrow sees the opening of the London Jam festival, selling pots of jam - some made by celebrities..." As for the subject of jam, it is indeed focussing on the fruit paste rather than anything rock-orientated. There is no discernable "play on words" here. And the reason that the runner you were alluding to - Lord Sebastian Coe - is roundly despised in Britain (my country), is probably due to his political affiliations and partly because of because of my...
that is part of the pont the other is having a dig at people who organise these ridiculouse charity appeals with no other motive behind it than to make themselves look important and wonderful, when really they couldent give a fuk about the cause
The point of this is that Morris says what we would all (well me anyway) like interviewers to actually say. Funny how memory plays tricks- I remembered him saying "I HATE GLENYS KINNOCK"- just shows what a right-winger I have become!
"With me is one of the organisers: Janet Breen". I love the enthusiastic acknowledgement she gives him at that point, but how she gets ripped to shreds by the end!
Yeah but it was always the same fundamental joke all the way through Brasseye, getting celebrities to say stupid things. To be fair pranks are what Morris used to do before Day Today (his radio stuff was full of prank phone calls) and he is one of the best. But it's still not as funny as what he and the cast were able to write for this.
I hate Sebastian Coe!!
HeskethBang 3 weeks ago
if she were to beg on the streets for 6 months to raise £1500. She would have to achieve £8.11 per day...
themanbearpig 2 months ago
Even if you were twice as ugly as you are WHICH IS VERY UGLY INDEED
nonelefttotry 2 months ago
Chris Morris is one of a kind....
DaveKarl 2 months ago
YOU COULD MAKE MORE MONEY BY AUCTIONING DOGS
EscapeFromF5 3 months ago
I hate Sebastian Coe!
CrixMakin 3 months ago
£1500??
Khild565 5 months ago
Auctioning dogs
22greg48 5 months ago
I love it. I do get annoyed when interviewers go overboard trying to intimidate people who really are insignificant too.
salamirterra 5 months ago
class war this is the news i love this sorry world .Charity people there like this).
joebstarsurfer 5 months ago
class war this is the news i love this sorry world .
joebstarsurfer 5 months ago
That grin at the end - always makes me laugh.
skibbers1 6 months ago
@skibbers1 I was just about to say the same thing!
David171985 5 months ago
12 people like making jam for the homeless.
DevilBoyDude 6 months ago
i cant believe how many retards commented on this video thinking it was real, and then pretending they knew all along afterwards LOL
Jacko032k 7 months ago
Hilarious i hope that was his mom otherwise i feel sorry for the woman.
kboogaard1975 8 months ago
Amazing, one of the funniest Chris morris moments!! I'm wondering if that classic line is ringing true for any olympic ticket buyers at the mo lol.
fez287 8 months ago
Love how he looks so proud of himself at the end :P
Nakasoul 8 months ago 5
This must be very upsetting for you
blackdice23 9 months ago 2
This has been flagged as spam show
Comedy at its best.
LAnonHubbard 9 months ago
this is a million times better than the awful 10 o clock live on ch4
Ifuckingh8you 10 months ago 5
got to love the close up
Alexismealright 1 year ago
you gotta love his satisfied smile at the end as he says 'Thank you'
daManDRAK 1 year ago 15
If only there was anyone this pleasant on TV nowadays.
croninburg 1 year ago 3
i am going
Angrykitty19 1 year ago
Tomorrow I start a Dog Auction.
dovestones 1 year ago 5
You could raise more money sitting outside a tube station, with a hat on the ground, even if you were twice as ugly as you are which is VERY UGLY INDEED.
...this must be a very upsetting time for you. Do you have anything more to say in your defence?
'..Noo..oo...'
92RedRevolver 1 year ago 2
you could raise more money by sitting outside the tube station with a hat on the ground, even if you were twice as ugly as you are, which is very ugly indeed!!
SkankForMe 1 year ago
Twenty years ago this seemed far fetched but the BBC News Channel is exactly like this now. Now over to our technology correspondent Rory Kettleson Jones who will repeat exactly what I've already told you and very slowly.
doubledeckers 1 year ago 3
the best part is "...has this been very upsetting for you?" Fucking Hilarious!
willscomix 1 year ago 2
good GOD he is sexy
VickyDuncalf 1 year ago 6
@VickyDuncalf Seconded! :)
SarahMacgregor 1 year ago
@SarahMacgregor treat 'em mean...:)
mcgigglish 11 months ago
6 months! £1500!
Anarchrist01 1 year ago
this is funny
Anarchrist01 1 year ago
The thing is, he is right.
richardsfinalfantasy 1 year ago
fucking wicked i cried so much i sucked my pants up my arse
tadpole329 1 year ago
Man, Chris Morris is so hot. That smirk he gives at the end is fucking hilarious, and strangely arousing xD
gloomyoutlook 1 year ago 6
exactly like paxman
tomthegd 1 year ago 11
i dont watch this regularly, i found it really funny but are we supposed to think its real?
TheStickyBlack 1 year ago
@TheStickyBlack It's just like a mock news programme. It's presented as being real, but it's not, like The Office or mockumentaries such as This Is Spinal Tap
warriorofwrestling 1 year ago
@TheStickyBlack not really. not now. maybe when it was first broadcast and you were gullible.
eraserhead321 1 year ago
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Bill O'Reilly eat your heart out!
allblue3 1 year ago
Nothing comes close...fucking inspired...
ucla4eva 1 year ago 3
This has been flagged as spam show
EVEN IF YOU WERE TWICE AS UGLY AS YOU ARE WHICH IS VERY UGLY INDEED!
sausagedogmcgee 1 year ago
'as this been very upsetting for you?'
One of the best comedy lines ever.
SaitanMar 1 year ago
utterly brilliant! "you could make more money auctioning dogs"
FrogsCock 1 year ago
It's like watching Fox News
heliumtrophy 1 year ago 10
I like the way he shows sympathy near the end and says 'this must be very upsetting for you'.
MrJaygayjay 1 year ago 2
@MrJaygayjay
It's not sympathy, he's furthering the story. The smirk as he finishes the segment is absolutely amazing. Morris - absolute master of any medium he puts his hand to.
Pepotamo1985 1 year ago 2
Actually, not so bad as it's fake.
SirMoebbelsKerr 1 year ago
@SirMoebbelsKerr Fucking Duuhhhhhh! Its not fake it comedy, everyone knows that chris morrisis stuff is alaways staged u moron!!
twentyfoursevenable 1 year ago
@twentyfoursevenable A lot of people have been fooled by the good acting in this clip. I realised it was fake soon after posting that comment anyway. go shove a rusty pitchfork up your arse.
SirMoebbelsKerr 1 year ago
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I'm a fan of his but this is just ruthless. Didn't find it that funny.
SirMoebbelsKerr 1 year ago
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so is the man acting and the women doesnt know it?
MicahBuzan 2 years ago
she's a pretty good actor.look at chris morris' face at the end - priceless!
jamesjonesrocket 2 years ago 9
I HATE SEBASTIAN COE!
pluckmytalls 2 years ago 10
Auctioning dogs!
edaines 2 years ago 5
i cannot wait for four lions
qwertyfla 2 years ago 7
Pretty much every line, expression and shot in this sketch is gold, I particularly like his suggestion of "auctioning dogs". After hearing that the 1st time I knew I'd love this show. True Classic.
JapeUK 2 years ago 6
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I particularly like his suggestion of..........yeah but nobody cares what you like you're nobody.
srjones8 2 years ago
Fifteen hundred pounds? That's a pathetic amount of money!
Tavener88 2 years ago 8
He's got a point. 6 months work for £1500 is pathetic.
JensonsBeard 2 years ago 64
@JensonsBeard it's completely staged, you know that right? she didn't actually do that : P
Synesthesiak 1 year ago
@Synesthesiak Uh, yeah. My comment was tongue-in-cheek.... and I'm not sure if your's was too?
JensonsBeard 1 year ago
@JensonsBeard Don't forget it 94, £1500 went alot further than it does now....
fatmike01 9 months ago
@JensonsBeard point is shes an actor.. newfag.
Kaneiku 5 months ago
@Kaneiku WHOOSH
JensonsBeard 5 months ago
@JensonsBeard swisssshhhh....
Kaneiku 4 months ago
Chris Morris, when will you come back and grace our televisions...
KaliberKing 2 years ago 5
Utter genius.
Roseh77 2 years ago
Loving the look on his face at the end.
webbtje 2 years ago 4
he is very proud of his performance at the end.
MrJaygayjay 2 years ago 5
Favourite The Day Today sketch.
Classic.
SaitanMar 2 years ago
I HATE SEBASTIAN COE!!
SuperVariation 2 years ago 149
sheer class. I think Paxman everytime and now know that he modelled himself on Chris Morris
corgi2000 2 years ago 3
how old this? he looks so young. Or maybe the denholm face hair just ages him lol
eddie2angel 2 years ago
Chris Morris is a total genius, ahead of his time
cisco9x 2 years ago 5
"this must be very upseting for you" luv it!
Mminiscorch 2 years ago 5
i hate sebastian coe
cheekyegg 2 years ago
Also, Sebastian Coe would not have had his peerage when this was broadcast - 1994 - so it isn't his peerage as to why people dislike him. Morris often pokes fun at Conservative members, e.g. Michael Heseltine. Hope that helps :)
92RedRevolver 2 years ago
Heh, no. He was first a professional athlete, and then he became a member of the British parliament. In 2000, they made Sebastian Coe a life peer, which is basically a lord who sits in our House of Lords, but the title 'Lord' cannot be retained by his children - the Lordship only exists within his lifetime, as it were.
92RedRevolver 2 years ago
Chris Morris is a lovely chap.
johnnycon 2 years ago
He's not really meant be.
AndrewJimScott 2 years ago
is this for real?
11ATER 2 years ago
Yes.
johnnycon 2 years ago 3
i hate seb coe as well
peacefrog1916 2 years ago
How did Paxman's career survive this. He's even more like this now than he was then. Chris Morris needs to get back on TV.
scaryflakybiscuits 2 years ago 2
I hate Sebastian Coe!
killerlady1955 2 years ago 3
Bring back Morris. Another series of the day today would be the best thing ever.
pizzaandmetal 2 years ago 3
thats a pathetic amount of money
MCshlthead 2 years ago
YES!!
foleyoni 2 years ago
You'd raise more money by auctioning off dogs!
thepluginbaby 2 years ago 2
Bloody Hillarious how he makes her cry...verbal abuse is always comedy gold!!
antbubb 2 years ago
Chris Morris is a genius
GrimbleGromble01 2 years ago
LMAO! What the eff..
christheferal 2 years ago
I HATE SEBASTIAN COE
Debtfromabove 2 years ago 7
auctioning dogs, ahaha
MarxBakuninMe 2 years ago
I hate sebastian coe too!
forceofamber 2 years ago
and this is what the news shows are like today. this was way ahead of its time. Morris had it down to a T
raVe4theslaVe 2 years ago 7
At the time, in an interview in Time Out, Chris Morris said that when London Tonight came on the air they thought "No! They beat us to it!" (or words to that effect).
NicosNicosNicosNicos 2 years ago
hahaha!! Morris is something else.
Looking forward to his movie.
raVe4theslaVe 2 years ago 3
He's doing a movie? Oh my god! Or should I say Oh my Chris Morris, because he IS GOD! *lol*
From smiles to tears in under a minute, unbelievable!
DaTomicat 2 years ago
I love how he smiles at the very end like it never even happened. That was so paxman-esque...
kingcroak 2 years ago 5
TV gold.
ComDev2 2 years ago
he looks like gary lineker...
pjanooooooo 2 years ago
Whenever anyone mentions Sebastian Coe I have to quote that line!
"How dare you come on this programme and say "Hey look at me, I'm raising £1500 for the homeless."
staercky 2 years ago
"I HATE Sebastian Coe!"
jbreckmckye 2 years ago 6
"Tomorrow sees the opening of the London Jam Festival, selling Jams, some made by celebrities"
Why does he hate Seb Coe? He probably doesn't he's just being deliberately obstropious. If you want to see the presenter he's kind of aping, do a seach on Jeremy Paxman. A legend of British broadcasting!
2satta2 2 years ago
While she cried in pain, I cried with laughter.
goaway25 3 years ago 7
...country's growing distrust of nobility - Lord Coe is a conservative peer, you see. It's amusing, since he used be hailed as an Olympic hero. I hope I've settled your confusion. :)
WaitingForGodot28 3 years ago
What a nice fellow you are WaitingforGodot - here's hoping your youtube spirit spreads about a bit. (This isn't a sarcastic comment by the way).
iain075 2 years ago
The opening sentence begins: "Tommorrow sees the opening of the London Jam festival, selling pots of jam - some made by celebrities..." As for the subject of jam, it is indeed focussing on the fruit paste rather than anything rock-orientated. There is no discernable "play on words" here. And the reason that the runner you were alluding to - Lord Sebastian Coe - is roundly despised in Britain (my country), is probably due to his political affiliations and partly because of because of my...
WaitingForGodot28 3 years ago
It's just .... perfect.
Chris Morris has a new film coming out soon called 'The Four Lions' about terrorism.
MaximusFood 3 years ago
recently heard about that, man I miss Chris Morris's humour! :p
SaitanMar 3 years ago
"... 'Russia elects cobweb' - that's in the independent ...."
WaitingForGodot28 3 years ago 2
i hate sebastian coe
teetotalhater 3 years ago 4
I just realised he's partly based this guy on Paxman?
Am I right?
ge1org1e 3 years ago 6
you're not wrong.
fivepointsix 3 years ago 4
hahaha
Partridge, awesome
kaworuscott 3 years ago
'you're not wrong'
Actually, I said that several years before Alan, so therefore he was quoting me.
maureenOWW 3 years ago
Its Jeremy Paxman
Harrydeth 3 years ago 7
Even if you were twice as ugly as you are which is very ugly indeed... oh how beautiful.
johnvattic1234 3 years ago 3
you're wrong and you're a grotesquely ugly freak.
bringmemybow 3 years ago 3
It's like Jeremy Paxman
politirel 3 years ago
i HATE sabastian coe!
Khild565 3 years ago 4
that is part of the pont the other is having a dig at people who organise these ridiculouse charity appeals with no other motive behind it than to make themselves look important and wonderful, when really they couldent give a fuk about the cause
richievanaardt 3 years ago
His smile at the end just makes it all the more cruel. I love Chris Morris.
MelchiahTheObscene 3 years ago 4
genius.
HypoderMiss 3 years ago
aha! love it! he's like an evil jeremy paxman!
billyandstuffs 3 years ago
"evil jeremy paxman!"
Well, that's redundant.
Mysterious0Bob 3 years ago 5
well you're about as funny as death.
billyandstuffs 3 years ago
Hilarious!
wingtok 3 years ago
Stop flirting, you two.
christopherfrost 3 years ago 3
The point of this is that Morris says what we would all (well me anyway) like interviewers to actually say. Funny how memory plays tricks- I remembered him saying "I HATE GLENYS KINNOCK"- just shows what a right-winger I have become!
tigerboy1966 3 years ago 2
Pure Paxman. Genius.
futilityroom 3 years ago
'You could make more money sitting outside a Tube station, even if you were twice as ugly as you are, which is very ugly indeed'
Hilarious. Absolute genius.
mbroady123 3 years ago 3
I love how he grins after maiking the woman cry.
eezysqueezy 3 years ago 2
"With me is one of the organisers: Janet Breen". I love the enthusiastic acknowledgement she gives him at that point, but how she gets ripped to shreds by the end!
whambam06 3 years ago
FACT
WON'T GO
INTO DOUBT
EvanandJake 3 years ago
'FACT
INTO DOUBT
WON'T GO'
but still funny. :)
solidbronze 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
He took a very nasty personality and turned it into a successful career.
DasGreenCow 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
yeah ur right...but hes not actually that sucsesfull...
hunterthompson123 3 years ago
Congratulations. You missed the point entirely.
eezysqueezy 3 years ago 2
tey call him mavericknigger
afromanjack 3 years ago
Paxman. But with more manners.
oscarshapely 3 years ago 8
british cringe comedy at its best. I wonder if this sketch had anything to do with chris morris calling a later project 'jam'?!!
christschinwon 3 years ago
i hate sebastian coe too
peacefrog1916 3 years ago 7
you'd make more money auctioning dogs!!
robriotuk 3 years ago 4
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Oh, dear...
Was she an actor or did he actually (jokingly, of course) chew out a well-meaning woman?
hardehar621 4 years ago
uh, an actor
xhalmers860 3 years ago 6
All actors apart from speak your brain where it's hard to tell.
I do think this is much funnier than the prank stuff in Brasseye.
norsef 3 years ago
i'm torn, personally. I loved the paedophile thing
xhalmers860 3 years ago 4
Yeah but it was always the same fundamental joke all the way through Brasseye, getting celebrities to say stupid things. To be fair pranks are what Morris used to do before Day Today (his radio stuff was full of prank phone calls) and he is one of the best. But it's still not as funny as what he and the cast were able to write for this.
norsef 3 years ago
Ihate Seb Coe too
dens83 4 years ago
Twice as ugly as you obviously are! Do you hear me?!
hotmilkydrink 4 years ago
that's the bit that makes me burst out laughing =D hahaha
sazmeister 4 years ago
his little smug smile at the end is such a good finish to a great sketch! :D
stoph2 4 years ago 10
lol XD
Leftfootbeats 4 years ago 2
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who the fuck gave me a thumbs down?! that is a perfectly valid comment! Fuckin cunt!
stoph2 4 years ago
I've evened it out for you lol
Leftfootbeats 4 years ago
lol bless ya
stoph2 4 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Worst comment ever. Thumbs down.
drepmore 4 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
well you're ugly
stoph2 4 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Worst comment ever. Thumbs down.
drepmore 4 years ago
gold.
antonfjordson 4 years ago
Jeremy Paxman eat your heart out...
basilcruncher 4 years ago 4
Never has the appellation 'lol' been so well applied as here. Great!
Spendoza 4 years ago
One of the healthiest senses of humour I've ever had the fortune of coming across
CallumPH06 4 years ago 6
Hahahahhaha.
GChammer 4 years ago
has this been very upsetting for you
gboy1999 4 years ago 2
we watched this in class today
it was amazing X)
hissybitch 4 years ago