Samurai Cop - "Now, I'm telling these son of a bitches..."

[funxcontagious]

their "precious" millions

well duh

[jamumu]

This looks awesome! How have I never seen this film???

[alexthecheese]

Longest 1:44 of my life

[cro44magnum]

Samurai cop is pretty tough with his hands, but that dressing down he gave in this video was brutal. His words are his nunchucks.

[knafaint]

...and the oscar for "shit acting" goes too... ALL OF YOU !

[chalwa123]

BEST MOVIE EVAH!

[jakovasaur]

Wow! One of the biggest Oscar snubs in history right here.

[WildHunt25]

"Oh I gotta lotta shit on you...... I have irritable bowel syndrome and a passion for gas station hot dogs!"

[primeburger6]

how did this guy not win an oscar?!

[MrNumberFour]

My brother made me watch this amazing movie... I'm still trying to think of a movie to get him back lol

[smoker1111111111]

@MrNumberFour The Room! He'll love it lol

[MrNumberFour]

@smoker1111111111 rofl just watched the trailer for it... so epic this gonna get him back for sure rofl.

[knafaint]

@MrNumberFour Cocoon, trust me... its like slow death lol

[MrNumberFour]

@knafaint oh yes thats a good one haha going to be so funny I made him watch the serpent and the rainbow but i kinda liked that one rofl

[ThatPokeyGuy]

My god, The Room is better than this OwO

[vanderbrock]

The least unconvincing 'motherfucker' in the history of film.

[IrishPuroFan]

This cant be a real film it just cant be....

[EnglishSmoker2]

I don't get it, are these people in the same room?

[otero51254]

:50 Stelio Kantos. Lol..

[MSCfilmsLLC]

Fuck reaction shots.

[mrwhoiamorwhatever]

I can't do it. I can't finish this clip...

[Magnetoidrowdy]

Listverse

[SethHesio]

It's wrong in every way possible...

[ARMIV4]

Cue the Star-Spangled Banner at 0:48.

[TheGnolla]

This reminds me of a running sketch in a lesbian comedy show (I forget its name) where one of the girls dressed up as Fabio. "Fabio" held a monologue which ended with "Fabio looks at camera 2". A slight pause, then "Fabio" looked at camera 2! :D Cracked me up. :)

[thehost91]

Oh, my...

[tolanstout]

Oh this is just fantastic.

[AirSandFire]

The bearded guy is epic.

[jackstein104]

we respect the japanese of this country who are honest businessmen?? lol since when have the fucking japanese ever been notorious for being criminals in the united states?

[RockoMyler]

@jackstein104 Since Samurai Cop said so.

[TheTrueHaddock]

I'm tellin' these son of a bitches.

[steez151]

:18-:21

oh my god lol

[hunhs]

missing lighting technician, but good movie!

[ShinRyojin]

Frank is Lou from Simpsons in live action form.

[steez151]

:18 HAH AHAH AHA HA

[HiredGunz]

lloyd from entourage stole his swag from the gay puerto rican waiter that appears after this scene

[BF1942DesertCombat]

Dude looks like a carrot.

[EunusRex]

He calls the whore "an all-American girl" to have her drop the price. What a cheap jerk!

[sirlordmongus]

How is this possible?

[TehWinnerz]

main dude looks like Sly Stallone with downs

[TehWinnerz]

As they say, 'get the hell outta my face'. As they say ladies and gentlemen. As they say.

[TravisMorien]

Ooh, the acting! The script! It gives me chills!

[acerwun]

these are the BEST comments everrrr omg hahahha

[itsmistersmoke]

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH

[IDMWEIGHTSIDM]

hhhaa, its like there all in different rooms talking to themselves

[livinglegend1187]

lol zdar

[genericmember1234]

It's like they are all afraid of public speaking

[LoKimLinProject]

wow this is good, scorsese or coppola? can't tell

[override367]

@LoKimLinProject I'm pretty sure this is a rare collaboration project between the two. Clint Eastwood also worked on it and they had Tarantino do some of the dialogue.

The thing is, some people think this is a bad movie, can you believe that? The problem is that it is so good that it has transcended what the brains of the average moviegoer can comprehend as being good and come back up on the other end of the spectrum. Film buffs like us know better.

[Cuntfinger]

The guy with the hair looks retarded

[mykestyle]

Now feather your bangs...are you ready kids?

[AJCoyneMedia]

Does anyone else think that guy looks more chinese than japanese...???

[Jimschofield66]

"Hey counsellor, you've still got three of four hours before the err courthouse closes HAHA!"

Guess you had to be there really.

[cjwright79]

Oh god this is hysterical...

[marc2789]

Fews are so awesome like Samurai Cop!

[TURBODORK2]

A POWERFUL SCENE

[justplainruk]

This is AMEHRRRica.

[akolozvary]

Was the hissing audio added for better effect?

[pshake]

soooooooo …I'd say 99% of the budget went towards hair product instead of actors/scriptwriters

[andy1908]

@pshake and joes wig

[cornnugget]

o god. he's like a white black dynamite 

[StyrbjornStarke]

Haha this should win a fucking oscar

[magykbag]

lol the early days of samuel.L. jackson

[EyEnOtgAy]

Oh he's got alot of shit on me!!!

[MrBloodbunny]

classic

[Shadowlit001]

Drugs should be legal FUCK da popo

[MilosCov]

Well that told them.

[Ultrisound]

The whole clip looks like it has been made by cutting together parts of 4 seperate films.

[Ultrisound]

Now I'm telling these son of a bitches...........

[UlfrIronwood]

Holy bipolar!

"We need to protect our children. I'll stuff their stinking fucking bodies in bags! Hey babe, what's your name?"

[1986stevensane]

Evil Japanese Businessman: "Hey kids, wanna buys some crack-cocaine?!"

[cydonia195]

That dude two seconds in is a dead ringer for Kurt Russel....couldn't be right??

[cydonia195]

Good GOD!! Is that lawyer dude Kurt Russel??

[Jurianug]

"Daaaamn!"

[1971ojoalparche1971]

Movies are supposed to be a business and there's no way crap like this one ever made a dollar. Anyone who produced/financed/wrote this is a moron.

The strangest thing is that movies like this one aren't even uncommon. Is Hollywood chock full of retards? You bet!

[laharlxyz]

Fuck retakes.

[THEBLACKBELT]

@laharlxyz That's lesson number one, at the Ed Wood school of film making. LOL.

[WorfSonofMoog]

@laharlxyz Also fuck Plot, and writing, and actors, and and and....

[th3v13w]

Truth, Justice & the American Way of Life!

Sing It my long-haired-Patriotic-Porn- Cop- Brother!

[Assassinador]

This is America! Land of freedom and LOL!

[gavincstewart]

My favourite part is the shot of the blonde girl... She's really pretty lol

[gavincstewart]

What wonderful acting! I think these actors did an excellent job of both capturing the emotion of the moment, and at remembering their lines!

[Defenseman619]

WFT???? Is this a porno?

[antybuns]

He sounds like a Zoloft Walken impressionist.

[thefatman69dude]

i think they went to tommy wiseows school of acting 

[thefatman69dude]

oh hes got a lot of shit on him

[busterbox]

Why does he need to ship their bodies back to Japan for fertilizer? Is there a fertilizer shortage in Japan or something? Just sell it to the highest bidder, bro.

Shit all fertilizes the same; stop being a fertilizer racist.

[Zebonka]

It's like they're all having this conversation from different rooms .... in different apartments.

[MildManNerd]

They need these guys doing Shakespeare!

[squanto2]

Did these people not realize what BS this is? Did they really think, "Hey, great job!"

or did they know they are the worst actors on earth?

[elcoocooi25]

WOW a japanese businessman with a slight native-american accent rocking a mullet...my life is complete.

[ShinRyojin]

AOTS brought me to the land of opportunity for legitimate business.

[mechanixis]

oH I gotTA LOTTa shit on YOU !

[Danprest09]

Thanks AOTS!

[klaud1]

LMAO!!

[kitt9584]

AOTS is a great show

[iamdisplacedlilak]

AOTS!!!!

[michiyoyoshiku]

AOTS brought me here

[xXFuji21Xx]

AOTS!!!!!

[kidcat3000]

Aots

[diggdugdude]

and right after his last line, her panties dropped

[SeanTPoindexter]

I'm just glad he was aware of the fertilizer needs of the Japanese people.

[TheMykcal]

Oh my god, this is the worst acting ever!

[xXmongerXx]

music fits the scene very well

[JChase59]

Son-of-a-bitches?

[An0maly777]

"I am telling these MOTHER-fuckers..."

lol

[Balliard0178]

ahahahahhaahahaI died and went to heaven 

[Xbogey]

That is the most unrealistic asian person I have ever seen.

[JacksInn]

"I am now speaking out the dialogue that I have memorized. My line just ended here, now it is your turn." "Yes, I am also an actor and this is a scene. These are the words that belong to my character, also my face look at it, I am serious." - AND CUT! CHECK THE GATES!

[vedicardi]

now I'm telling these "mother fuckers"

[ventricity]

this is the best acting i have ever seen

[Kaijed]

oh i got a lot of SHIT on you!!

[MrProdigalKnight]

AMERICA LAND OF FREEDOM AND LOL

[Mrmys1900]

nice hairdo

[bigpops101]

SHE'S DA' BOSSSSSSSS

[HaruspexLamb]

"These son of a bitches"? Was that really the line or did he just fuck that up and they were too lazy to reshoot? Either way, someone should be fired. With actual fire.

[Bluehawk2008]

He looks like a young Sylvester Stallone.

[sugarface88]

honest businessmen



[epicstl]

Are they bitches or motherfuckers? That point wasn't made clear.

[843andrew]

worst acting iv ever seen

[RaSan69]

0:30 ladies love long haired motherfuckers.

[zalliwa]

Now I telln these motherfuckers,sonsabitches !!,HAHA,its great.

[level242]

Death Merchant?

[RonnieRocker12345679]

SC: What's an all american girl like you doing with a geek like this.

Me: I AM ACTING!

[Kooshmeister3]

I love how they keep saying they have dirt on him but don't bother saying what.

"I know you're evil." "How?" "We have shit on you." "What, specifically?" "That you're evil." "This is getting repetitive."

[ThaBasementBoys]

Yes!! What a clip

[the0tobes0machine]

Powerfully unsophisticated. I LOVE IT.

[uimapaavi]

Is everybody in this scene high?

[MrTommyfifaking154]

That guy has a jaw or iron

[MrTommyfifaking154]

that asian guy has no expression on his face

[Voidhead]

"Land of freedom and law". Haha, yeah right.

[peposo7]

@Voidhead Yes, of course it is! In favor of who, thats another thing...XD

[MrTommyfifaking154]

" you ain't got nothin' on me!"

"Oh iv'e got a lot of shit on you

[ThatDankGuy]

It looks like he's about to fall asleep. This is gold!

[davidmax2]

......got it !!! buahahahahahahbuahahahah

[ErsanBarams]

you've been warned by matt hannon. Imagine what woulda happened if he finished his sentence

[slicksgirl]

I have never seen the phrase "mother fuckers" said with such a calm face.....BEST ACTING EVER!!

[Spermagram]

It's the gas chamber for you, Fujiyama!

[Gargantua606]

There was a mispel on the cue cards, he was supposed to say "What's an All-American girl like you doing with a Gook like this".

Hilarious bit. I'm not that much in truly-bad-movies-that-are-so-b­ad-they-become-comedy-jewels but I must see that one. Thanks for sharing.

Hilarious comments too guys. Keep it up.

[Sinisterene]

Keanu Reaves school of acting right there

[delbermo]

great film, its basically a porno that forgot to put the sex parts in

[barbapapa83]

@delbermo too bad they cut matt hannon's love-making scenes short, otherwise it probably would have been a porno

[Oprichniki88]

love this movie.

[epilepticpeat]

Is the uploaders name "Samurai Joe Cop Marshall" like Joe marshall:Samurai Cop? if it is... i want to be your best friend. This is my favorite movie of all time. I've been trying to track down Amir Shervan's lost 3rd film "Killing American Style" to no avail. I have Hollywood cop... not as good as SC. Keep this movie alive... thank you on behalf of C movie freaks like myself.

[arjunkaul]

Fucking intense \m/

:P

[MustNotRead]

at the end, i thought he was about to say: "by the way Miss, what's an all American girl like you doing with a slit-eyed, yellow bellied, bamboo coon chink like him?" I guess that would have been a little too racist, even for the late 80s.

[krypto91505]

It's true. They do say, "get the out of my face."

[ZeitOner]

@krypto91505 hahahahahaha

[dezmodium]

Why does the Japanese guy sound like a Mexican immigrant? I seriously expected him to bust out an "esse".

[cofpaddy]

Samurai Cop - the height of cinematic art

[theonemurph]

llllooooooooooooooollllll

now i'm tellin these motherfkers!

[misfits2012]

the long haired guy reminds me of ken masters from streetfighter 4!

[Number1ricky]

lmfao to much

[sn0tnosedkid]

why is the Japanese dude doing a bad impression of a Native American? WTFBOOQLFMAOG2G

[Tauptu]

Can you actually believe that someone slipped this gem into the film lineup at a bad movie festival? I felt it was one of the most life changing movies I've ever witnessed. It united the audience. Some scenes were so intense I had to cover my eyes.

[wandererlain]

"Son of a bitches." Talk about bad English LOL this film looks funny!

[UnspokenTruth614]

Court Clerks FTW

[MegaPhoenixBird]

"....to deposit their Millions into their secret Swiss Bank Accounts."

Lol!

I think the Western Union would do just fine

[SJCM]

@MegaPhoenixBird Nah man, if you're a death merchant...It HAS to be a swiss bank account, a secret one, otherwise they revoke your death merchant status.

[Xbuslosers]

This is a one-star movie because there is no such thing as a no-star movie. What a shit sandwich.

[TermoShockers]

I like how matt hanon rolls his eyes everytime he finished a line of dialog as if he needs a second to remember his lines. I also like how when the movie cuts to the blonde girl and she appears to be holding back a laugh but it cuts away before she actually bursts out.

[FatCaterpillar11]

Is he trying to do a Christopher Walken impression?

[THEBLACKBELT]

ACTING!!

[SJCM]

Haha best comment ever.

[Oprichniki88]

correction: the term is "Actoring". Think of it as an A for effort.

[kd4nuh82]

Son-Of-A-Bitches FTW