Added: 2 years ago
From: the87juju
Views: 251,390
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:

All Comments (457)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • this is some funny shit, especially if u r muslim or arab, as you will connect better with the jokes!!!!!

  • Hahaha, this guy is so funny! Nice

  • watch from 10:15...awesome! 

  • The first step to peace is and has always been having a sense of humor. God, Allah, Yahweh, however you call Him gave us a sense of humor; it is His greatest gift, and the one we take most for granted. Think about it.

  • I meant 5:16

  • can anybody help me with what he is saying at 5:19

    Oh please god help me with .... please..

    almost sounds with your Arabic accent

  • @Kantace That's exactly what he's saying, lol.

  • I am from jordan, firstly muslims do not drink gamble have sex and eat pork but people like you who called them self muslim do that secondly before you tell jokes about people who fight and give there lives to protect there countries tell jokes about your self because your country occupied buy the people who you make him lough

  • @95SEAFAN Hello person from Jordan with no sense of humour. If it's true what you said, that Muslims do not have sex... then where do your children come from? Cloning?

  • Yeah, why is it that some muslims do drink, gamble and have sex but don't eat pork?

  • @melblack81 HAHAHA, Im one of those, And i honestly can't give you an answer to that !! :D

  • @mcwail007 Hahaha...and I asked that question because I'm like that too..

  • @melblack81 Same reason some Jews drink gamble and have sex but don't eat pork.

    Alternate serious response: Swine carry the parasite that causes trichinosis. Today, with proper refrigeration and sanitation it is not a big deal, but when the rules were written, abiding by the proscription of pork was a very good step towards keeping your society healthy and alive. Interestingly, I am of Jewish descent but never kept kosher; I got sick with UC from eating shrimp; I never knew I was at risk.

  • Comment removed

  • 4th place FTW!

  • the club song at 04:56 is probably from a mix of pushkarev

    /watch?feature=player_detailpa­ge&v=be5ZNumf130#t=294s

  • @blondu88neuroni Hehe, or any club mix ever written. (If you want GOOD techno, check out BT).

  • 0:48

    Listen for it... I laughed my damn ass off. Not literally.

  • saw ahmed ahmed's show twice, LOVED HIM!

  • gamble, drink, smoke but dont eat pork! .:p

  • DUBAI represent :)

  • i met him and got an autograph from him and maz jobrani :p jelous?

  • any Jews here?????

    (silent....).............

    lol

  • ahmed ahmed acted in punk'd

    thumps up so everybody can see this

  • You don't make jokes about Islam. Peace of shit

  • @wparo Why not?

  • @wparo why tha fuck not dude? i am raised in a muslim way and I LMAO at muslim jokes beacause I undertstand that they are JOKES!! Seems like you don't get that?? ;D

  • anyone know the song that plays at 10:49 ...... i cant find a list of the tour soundtracks anywhere

  • wonder if there r any afghans?

  • im a jew and i love these guys!

  • Comment removed

  • Arabs are acutally balling with money not poor

  • Comment removed

  • @midoshy1992 Well the ones in america sir

  • Omg I've never laughed sooo hard in my life before! I'm Muslim and I find this soo hilarious, his right we sometimes have to laugh at ourselves

  • He's so right about Dubai lol

  • An Arab so nice, they named him twice :)

  • the guy can beatbox!!!!

  • Well done Ahmad Ahmad. You rocked it.

    Greetings from Iran

  • @saeidmomtahan i love Iran..greetings from Egypt :)

  • Any Jews here?................Lol

    

  • Ahmed Ahmed is so funny.

  • 72 virgins, a whore, and a goat. HAHA that was fuckin funny

  • AHAHAHAHAHA "They'll drink, gamble, have sex but wont eat pork."

  • Like if Jailbait Warrior sent you here

  • are you a wizard, bro?

  • whats your cutting diet?

  • @SRStrollisSRS what do u mean?

  • jailbait warrior was here.

  • Comment removed

  • Stop having fun guys! =P

  • This is hilarious

  • GUYS. CHILL.

  • "Please God help me with your arabic accent" ?

    astaghfirallah!

  • @alnarweeg92 "You will see who wins one day and u will regret that a lot." Wow, relax dude. I thought you were the religion of peace. Now you have revealed your real mindset.

  • @butchbutch66

    I have never said this.. but indeed this is true. Islam does not mean peace, it means submission.

    Islam will behave gently and merciful when these things are given to islam, but when it has been attacked, its people has been slaughtered, it will not raise its hand with the symbol of peace, rather it will attack like a fierce lion. Islam is not like christianity, it does not give its other cheeck to the murderer,the oppresser,the raper,the aggressor.

    show peace and you'll get peace

  • @alnarweeg92 Oh bullshit, that why muslims go and burn down christian churches for no bloody reason, like in egypt and the rest of the middle east, even though Christians are a minority? That's why Muslim men go on raping sprees in Sweden? Man, you muslims are so brainwashed. You guys are nothing but religious bullies. Every 600 years we in the civilized world have to kick your ass all over again.

  • @butchbutch66

    why do you judge islam upon what muslims have done? many christians in egypt are converting to islam, and what happens to them? they are getting persecuted or killed by the christians in egypt!

    Then establish a islamic state and stone those who rape women, it is not allowed, it is forbidden in islam!

    and the thieves cut their hands off.

    civilized? look at america they are slaughtering women and children in iraq, shut up you doublestandard ignorant bigot

  • @alnarweeg92 "they are getting persecuted or killed by the christians in egypt!" You are a LIAR. Christians are dhmmi in Egypt and are a religious minority. Christians are only 15% of the population. I could easily show you 5 news reports of Christians being killed in their churches by muslims, and churches being burnt down. Show me 5 reports of muslims being persecuted by Christians in Egypt. What about the christian in Iran who religous authorities want to kill for converting to...

  • Christianity? This is happening this week! I don't care what your "holy" book said, evidently the muslim immigrants in Sweden don't care either because they go on raping sprees. All of this is documented. Maybe if people who follow Islam weren't playing terrorist attacks around the world every year, people would respect you. Believe me people in the West are not going to stand for this shit too much anymore. Political correctness is dying. Not all of us are spineless white liberals.

  • @butchbutch66 Civlized world? do you actualy know what civlized mean? We all know that westenrs are a bunch of drunk, gay, slutts, godless, oil lover, killers, agressors, paedophiles and criminal nations and people, you should shut your mouth when you talk about civlization. A people who have no values but sex, drug and alcohol must not talk about civlization. Soon will Islam will hump you, see in youtube and in google, we are coming . . .

  • @durable007 Ah the religion of peace comes out again. You treat religious minorities like shit. You treat your women like shit, but have them so brainwashed they think putting up with it is doing the will of God. You r whole culture does not teach you to think for yourselves. You think strapping women and kids with bombs to kill themselves does the will of Allah. Your culture actually cuts off the hands of thieves instead of punishing them enough to learn to use those hands for good.

  • Your religion is based on fear and control, not love. You need a iman to explain the Q'uran for you and they will never tell you how inconsistent it is. Your religion kills gays, but does not rehabilitate them. Your religion condemns alcoholics but would never invent something like AA to get people sober. Your prophet was an illiterate pedophile. For some reason you show more respect to Muhammed then Allah. You cannot take on the West and China at the same time.

  • I notice also that you cannot fight against any of my previous arguments. You are a LIAR, and you know Muslims are killing Christians, Buddists etc around the world but you think it's ok because the Qu'ran says so. Well you're wrong, your book is wrong, and if you push up against us, we'll show you how wrong you are.

  • @butchbutch66 i can fight against every argument in the whole universe with this: ae911truth.or g - an organisation setup by white American Architects and Engineers.

  • @butchbutch66

    u dont kno wat islam is about man. watch these and ull understand.

    /watch?v=23OZs2Oh8xM&feature=r­elated

    /watch?v=XXu_VqRvz5I&feature=r­elated

  • @4everyoungAA I understand there are at least a a couple dozen terrorist attack in the name of Allah every year, for the past two decades and when I ask the average muslim, instead of being apologetic, they are totally defensive and in denial.  Just you let you muslims know, you can't keep using the Crusades, which happened over 600 years ago, as a counterargument for Islamic hatred.

  • @butchbutch66

    a couple dozen equaling 24 terrorist attacks every year? just watch the videos i provided u. Allah doesnt agree with the attack on innocence. but israel forces and u.s forces still allow it. there are millions of muslims all over the world, just because about 50-100 of them i fuked in the mind it doesnt meant the entire religion r terrorists. just because one american is racist we dont say all american r racist.

  • @4everyoungAA Read what I said above about MUSLIMS ( I couldn't care what Allah up there thought) act in light of terrorists attacks. YOU JUST EXACTLY PROVED MY POINT. INSTEAD OF BEING APOLOGETIC, you get defensive and talk about ISRAEL. What did ISRAEL have do to with the TRAIN BOMBING in SPAIN?IN LONDON? WITH THE TERRORIST ATTACKS in INDONESIA, and SRI LANKA? One little country (Israel) is NO excuse for Muslim terrorist attacks AROUND THE WORLD!

  • MY goodness, I can't believe how stupid you are! You're comments just proved my point! Instead of reflection on perhaps, my people of your faith like to kill themselves in trying to kill other people, you talk about this one little country in the Middle East. YOU GUYS ARE BRAINWASHED, BECAUSE EVERY WEEK YOUR IMANS TELL YOU HOW EVIL YOUR ENEMIES ARE, all the while justifying your own evil.

  • Sorry I underreported. At last count 66 terrorist attacks in 2010 ALONE by muslim terrorists. Can't forget about Yemen, the PHilipines, Iraq and Pakistan. INSTEAD OF BLAMING the crusades and Israel, you should ask yourself what in your crazy religion wants to kill other people while killing themselves.

  • @butchbutch66

    Y shud i be apologetic? apologize for wat? i ddnt kill no1! and dont put words in my mouth by saying wat does israel have to do with the train bombings... cuz i said that they and US kill innocence period.!! Wat does terrorism mean? Terrorist is the systematic use of terror especially as a mean of cohesion. What is terror? terror is violent or destructive acts such as bombing committed by groups to intimidate a population or government to grant their demands.

  • @4everyoungAA Again, you just did it again. You are so stupid, I can't stand it. You are completely brainwashed by your imams to blame the US and Israel for everything that you muslims can't even look at your sins. So even if USA and Israel are guilty why are there muslims PLANTING BOMBs in SPAIN, PAKISTAN, INDIA, SRI LANKA and PHILIPPINES? What do these countries have to do with USA and ISRAEL?? ANSWER THAT! It's like a broken record in your mind playing over and over again to block you ..

  • from thinking: "BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, BLAME USA and ISRAEL, ........" Meanwhile the rest of the world is like "why are you bombing US then?"

  • @butchbutch66

    I am against those terrorists that bomb and kill innocence. there r many false teachers taking verses out of the Quran, corrupting the teaching of our prophet (PBUH). to be honest i dont even speak to imams so how the fuck can i be brainwashed? those planting bombs in spain r not muslims. Allah permits retaliation ONLY against the guilty party. In the Quran it says "Fight in God's cause against those who fight U, but do not commit aggression, God doesnt love aggressors."

  • @butchbutch66

    I am against those terrorists that bomb and kill innocence. there r many false teachers taking verses out of the Quran, corrupting the teaching of our prophet (PBUH). to be honest i dont even speak to imams so how the fuck can i be brainwashed? those planting bombs in spain r not muslims. Allah permits retaliation ONLY against the guilty party. In the Quran it says "Fight in God's cause against those who fight U, but do not commit aggression, God doesnt love aggressors."

  • @4everyoungAA - You are brainwashed in the sense that everytime someone brings up the fact another group of muslims are bombing the shit out of innocent people (66 attacks this year alone, trying counting the number attacks since 1993, when ANOTHER group of muslims tried to take down the Twin Towers) you resorted to blaming Israel and the US. As for "Allah permits retaliation ONLY against the guilty party" who are you or any other group of muslims to decide who is guilty or innocent??

  • I'm sure all those muslims in spain, sri lanka, or pakistan thought those innocent bystanders were guilty of something before they killed them all. Probably guilty of not being muslim...But here in the CIVILIZED WORLD, we have something call the Court of Law. We have something called due process, lawyers, subpoenas, stuff like that. We don't just bomb people because we THINK they are guilty. Frankly I couldn't give a shit what Muhammed thought Allah said in the 7th century...

  • When you live in the civilized world, you live by our playbook, we don't live by yours. And if you don't like it, move to a Muslim state! But don't bring your sharia shit into our country.

  • @butchbutch66 There is no such thing as Muslim state...

    Governments are formed to service people.

    This means everybody including the minorities has the right to speak their mind.

    In governmental law there is no religion , only constitution.

    I'm an atheist and it doesn't bother me whether you hate muslims or love 'em or jews.

    Just know this ;

    According to your constitutional laws you're full of shit.

    Me ?

    I think you're a person who is happy he is home , and doesn't wanna change it after all.

  • @SFU21 No such thing as a muslim state? try Iran. Lybia's going that way too. So Iraq. Are you high hippie? You must be since you would have known that the word "state" can also mean "nation" as well. Stupid yank.

  • @butchbutch66 I get it. You're a narrow-minded patriot and a racist.

    Your stupidity is beyond measure.

    Iran is not technically a traditional republic.

    And you're stupid enough to compare them to your country...

    Grow a pair will ya ?

  • @butchbutch66

    The guilty is the soldiers that kill not the innocent civilians. Did i blame israel and us? NO. Thse who kill the innocent people R NOT TRUE MUSLIMS.WHO R U TO DECIDE THAT ALL MUSLIMS R TERRORISTS? If the person who killed 90+ people in Norway was a Muslim, u wudve declared him a terrorist. For now, he is just a 'Assailant ', 'Attacker', 'Gunman' Looks like 'Terrorist' is a name reserved for Muslims? The US Dept of State calls it an 'Act of Violence', Not an 'Act of Terrorism'

  • Fuck the person who attacked Islam and called us terrorists. The media played with ur minds u fools. You will see who wins one day and u will regret that a lot.

  • Fuck the person who attacked Islam and called us terrorists. The media played with ur minds u fools. You will see who wins one day and u will regret that a lot.

  • i liked that comparison between jewes nd muslims

  • hes sexy!

  • shab bedannnnnnnnnn neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • The last joke was the best part!!!

  • fuck Osama Ben Laden and fuck terrorists !! arabs and muslims rock !!! :D

  • @alladarwish2424 Amen to that. I love those people.

  • @alladarwish2424 don't fuck anyone except for hot babes! but I've got a newfound respect for muslims and arabs after watching The Arrivals - Noregaa series :D

  • I've been to Dubai and Bangladesh as well, funny thing is, I came across more farm animals in the middle east than in bangladesh. this ignorant twat, is more yank than yanks themselves! hardly funny at all!

  • @vdojunky6 Relax, most Americans don't even know those two places exist anyway.

  • People started applauding because there weren't no Jews? That was uncalled for.

  • I overlike this, i wanna thank this man because it is so frustrating when people prejudge us Muslims and say things like we are nothing but a bunch of stupid dumbasses that will explode sooner or later. God bless Islam and the whole world. Unity that is the world's number one priority

  • my bad, i confused ahmed with maz, ahmed's from egypt

  • we all need to take ourselves a bit lighter..this is brilliant! eff politics and the dividence they try and create between us all for their own interests.. we are all HUMAN BEINGS!

  • @somesortanaughty

    divide and conquer...as usual...

    the sad part is this technic is old as hell but it still works....

  • @GARLlCjr ..makes my heart ache how it works... really......:(,,,,

  • 72 virgins 1 whore and a goat !

  • " Welcome to our meeting "... LMFAOOOO !!

  • Awesum... !!!

  • Where is he from?

    Like I know he is Arab,but which country exactly? :)

  • @772AML america but his family are from egypt

  • @772AML iran is an arab country now...?

  • @americanna Oh he is Iranian? I'm sorry I didn't know that.Thanks for telling me. :)

  • @americanna no, my bad, he's actually from egypt iirc. but it was just being sarcastic about Iran NOT being an arab country (its persian)

  • What some of you fail to understand, is that it's in humour, that we can learn about each other. It is important to laugh at yourself it shows humility. Too many fanatics, this is about exploring ways of defusing divisions, and if you cannot see that then you are wantonly blind.

  • ure funny ! 

  • im reallly tired of seeing religious debates in every video that contains anything about islam... coming from a muslim.

  • I wanna smoke a nice big Dubai. wahush dubai. hahaha

  • Ahmad, we need more like you to break the stereotypes. You're THE best:)

    Can you fly now? Laugh on......

  • calling us a terrorists and make fun of us and our religion is something unacceptable. This guy want to make fun of us and our religion to make money. In our culture we found this video offending. You can make fun of the Arabs but not of Islam. I am arab and muslim,,, i have no problem if this guy want to make fun of Arabs. But Islam is our religion and Holy and we don't accept making fun of it.

  • @kastello2007

    if we have a sense of humor i'm pretty sure god has a sense of humor as well.

    i hope i'm not being blasphemous toward believers by saying that...

    i dont have any religion...

  • he got the part

  • fucking bitch dont make fun of middle easterns cause u r one too!!!! btw u r from dubai and ur making fun of it???? what an jackass!!!1 and u r soooo racist talking about black and white and terrorists!!!

  • @faitful300

    Stop being such a whiney little bitch. Grow some thicker skin and laugh at some jokes you drooling moron!

  • yah another cheap ass ,,

    you can be funny without saying this shit .

    he is considered as an expert of islamic affairs as a muslim "trying to represent the right picture of islam" but he is faking alot of things in order to make people laugh ..shame on you

  • @bigdad6991

    Jesus, i presume you're one of those thin skinned whiney ones.

  • dont go to al qaeda they are shit LOL!

  • He left without taking his water bottle! lol

  • hahahhahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa the mask and the bar...which one to choose

  • @26rosey you mean mosque?

  • @Piriathy yes i do mean mosque...not sure y i spelled it like that

  • @Piriathy lol yes i mean mosque

  • im a muslim and people these be racist to us because muslims these days act so bad which then shows us muslims and are religon islam as a bad religon

  • this is a joke not a preaching man easy enjoy ur life.... religion make us hate each other we have 1 world why dont we share it not conquering it.you and me dont have any different we all have penis and vagina. peace........

  • I LOVE AHMED - THIS VIDEO IS HILARIOUS. THANK YOU FOR UPLOADING IT :)

  • @Badaware yes. there r hypocrites amongst muslims. no, its not his right to joke about anything. let me get on stage and joke about the holocaust in front of jews. i think thats my right too, right? or what about a on stage in front of black ppl joking about slavery. thats my right too?

    there r certain things that r no no's.

    mocking Islam is a no no.

    Unacceptable.

    i hope this douce bag loses his job, hes reputation, hes wealth, his properties, his freinds and family if he does not repent

  • I was born in baghdad, but I am a Catholic Christian! Being arabic doesnt make you muslim, it just means that you are from an arabic country, and there are about 33 arabic speaking countries. The original people of babylon (modern day iraq) were Assyrians / Chaldeans. Sometimes i think that even "arabs" do not understand what it means to be arabic.

  • "um I don't know..I'm so confused...should I go pray or dance...oh God please help me if your Arabic accent." ROFL

  • I'm muslim and I'm proud to say I understand every part of this video as COMEDY.

    I'm also terrified of the thought that so many people think every muslim is like that bitch Bin Laden. Hell, if I ever had the chance, I'd kill him with more happiness than any Christian would feel.

    So please... Stop being TV zombies and start looking at the world as a beautiful place where we ALL live... We'll all be happier then.

  • I don't understand why people are offended by this. These people aren't racist, they're not showing hatred toward another race are they? You gotta have a good sense of humor, these people help us bond and laugh at ourselves. Pessimistic people really need to get outta here.

  • Another Muslim here lovin' Ahmed Ahmed. nafsim6969, you need to lighten up bro (or sis).

  • Cool, the whole story is true, he REALLY played terrorist #4 in the movie "Executive Decision" with Kurt Russell, check on Imdb. And it was already in 1996!

  • Im muslim and ill be getting crap then one day ill just be like. HOLD MY TURBAN IMMA KIK YOUR ASS WHITE BOY. Allah forgive me for what i am about to do

  • that mother fucker .. makin fun of muslims and arabs when hes one of US !! .. and whatsup with arabs don have any money to spend .. u ignorant asshole come visit The United Arab Emirates in Abu Dhabi and Dubai in specific .. u'll see things uv never seen before .. go to Saudi Arabia, Gulf Region in general, hes trying to spread the love and peace between arabs and the US where hes making fun and saying bad things that dont exist .. ur the hypocrite fucker !!

  • @6ormos1 حبيبي مو عاجبك اطلع ولا تعور راسنا

  • @ratedwhat انت ايش حشرك ؟؟؟ .. يوتيوب ابوك ؟؟ .. بكيفي بكتب اللي ابيه مو عاجبط انجلع لا اطالع الكومنتس

  • @6ormos1لا يوتيوب ابوي ولا يوتيوب امك انا عاد بكيفي ردك مو عجبني ورديت عليك !! وله حلال تكتب انت وغيرك لا

  • @ratedwhat شوف احنا شباب سيرة الام ليش تجيبها ؟! .. بعدين تبي تكتب اكتب عن غيري مالك شغل عندي بكيفي بحط رأيي مو عاجبك الكومنت مالي مالك شغل

  • @6ormos1 واحنه شباب ليش اجيب سيرة الاب فالنص ؟؟

  • @ratedwhat تبا تقلي نفس الشي ؟؟ .. عالعموم مالك شغل عندي و احترم عمرك مالت عليك

  • @6ormos1 woah,dude.Take it easy

    Learn to take some jokes.The world needs more light headed people and not people like you who can't take jokes.Don't watch the video then

  • @Workithardermakeitbe am arabian .. as they mentioned .. i dont take jokes .. i'll be like hahaha very funny my friend very funny .. u can almost hear me laugh its that good its that good :P

  • I am a Muslim and i liked his joke nothing wrong with it ..

    Life is so Short guys ..

  • @saraali331 we need more muslims like you and not like the twats above

  • eeeeeehh....i give it 7 stars!! lolll

  • entertainment oriented......he is not aiming to give a good picture about us

  • @heartattackful exactly dude .. hes making fun of us and saying wrong things .. of course we have some non-religious muslims .. but that doesnt include all of us .. and then he says that hes here to spread peace and love within arabs and whoever .. and am talking about Ahmed and Kader !! wtf

  • he is just a other stupid looking for money and fame ...easy for him to sell his country ,his religion ,even to sell himself for money.

  • @xalulax407 easy buddy, he doesnt consider himself muslim

  • @haroonfunny94 uhm obviously he's a muslim if his name is Ahmed Ahmed smart one...

  • @mmmShima hahaha all that means is that he was born a muslim, i know many guys that were born muslims but arent religious in the slightest....a lot of people are like that

  • I could've sworn he played a Palestinian in New York in "You Don't Mess with the Zohan." Am I right?

  • welcome to our meeting lol