Funny jokes!

[johnpar1231]

top

[kawtarmarrakchi]

haha :p

[1jokeoftheday]

For real fun, check out my channel!

[SellMeLies]

wow

[Biggunsmakebigbang]

@landoforpresident no its not you stupid quir

[Biggunsmakebigbang]

@Landoforpresident no there not you stupid quir

[viewyer360]

Apple Inc. decided to do an iPod touch version for kids.When they realized it would be called

"iTouch Kids", they decided to abandon the idea.

[venomancer54321]

Child: Dad, can I ask you a question?

Dad: you just did

Child: Can I ask you another one?

Dad: YOU JUST DID

EPICFAIL

[ipwnincodops]

what can a hooker do that a crack dealer cant do find out if u subscribe to me LOL its funny

[MegaLowlow1]

@ipwnincodops Dislike! (((((((=

[luiz6508]

see the video (o bahia tem rabo preso)

[OneHappyCattle]

Run!

[NeffNeff02]

Who cares if they're old?

If you ask me I don't see any expire-date..

[sheepdog2190]

There is a women that wakes up and goes in a shower, 10 seconds after she gets in, the doorbell rings. So she puts her dressing gown on and goes down stairs, opens the door, and sees a nurse. The nurse says: "You've got to congratulate me, I passed my test!" So the women congratulated him and goes back upstairs, goes in the shower, 10 seconds after she's in the shower, the doorbell rings again, this time she looks out the window and sees an blind man, because it's an blind man, (part two--->)

[sheepdog2190]

@sheepdog2190 she doesn't bother putting any clothes on, so, she goes downstairs and opens the door. The blind man says: "You've got to congratulate me! I can see again!"

[manofthesouth]

A blond, a ginger and a brunette find a magic swimming pool. The genie tells them that whillst jumping, they must shout the thing they desire the most, so ginger goes forward, jumps and yells 'MONEY', and falls in a swimming pool full of money. Brunette goes forward, jumps and shouts 'DIAMONDS' and falls in a swimming pool full of diamonds. Blond goes forwards, slips on the board and shouts 'CRAP' ...

[sheepdog2190]

@manofthesouth I got a better one,

Three kids go to a park, they meet a wizard, the wizard explains to them that whatever they say whilst going down the slide, they land in a bucket of what they said. So, the first kid climbs up the ladder and goes down and says: GOLD! And lands in a bucket of Gold.

The second kid climbs up the ladder and says: SILVER! And lands in a bucket of Silver.

The third kid goes down and says: WEEEEE! And lands in a bucket of wee.

[frost6359]

So stupid

[DrizzyEmin3m]

NOW THATS REALLY FUUNY

[elee1416]

Ha ha ha ha!!

[Zuperdash]

at 0:12 you can see a person trying to jump over everyone

[Funnynetvids]

OMG too funny...

[thecastillo100]

jajajajaja esta muy bueno!!



[MrSamster911]

I was gonna tell a gay joke, Butt fuck it.

[hiikaariin]

I would love to do this in my town, I only need about 100 more friends :D

-foreveralone-

[bigb771]

It's all fun and games until you realize the big roach on your wall can fly; then you get the hell out of there.

[lol1992ist]

oooowww...!!

[Polohorse1616]

Kris Humphries has a basketball foundation! Did you know? Ha Ha Ha!

[72jafry]

guigihhioigg

[brotato2]

Guy 1- Wanna hear a joke?

Guy 2- Sure, what?

Guy 1- Pussy.

Guy 2- I don't get it..

Guy 1- I know you don't.

[analovesbeauty1]

Wats Long Hard a filled with Seamen A SUBMIREEN(idk how to spell it)

[TheSouthpaw1993]

@analovesbeauty1  submarine :p

[cedar1998]

a guy jumps into water; a boat comes to help but he says, gods saves me , second boat comes and and again he says god helps me third boat comes and he answer the same, then he died and he gos to god and asks WY THE HELL DINT U SAVED ME

god answer: I SEND FKING 3 BOATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[46Bax]

haha

[kennedyisfail]

whats long and black....

the unemployment line

[desibhandar]

What's big, long, hard and black, and makes women moan like fuck?Constipation.

[dafunapple]

So a Penn state football coach walks into the locker room...

[LoLChEsH]

A woman had a baby and the nurse came in Nu:do u hav a husband Wo:no Nu:boyfriend Wo:no Nu:Any close friends Wo:no Nu:How did u get pregnant Wo:I needed the money so i done a porno with a black person Nu:how did the baby get blonde hair Wo:well a swedish muscly blonde guy came and joined in with a double penetration Nu:how did it get slanty eyes Wo:a japanese midget came and joined in with The nurse spanked the baby and it cried Wo:Thank god Nu:thank god for what Wo:thank god it didnt bark

[manofthesouth]

@LoLChEsH OH SICK ! But awesome ^^

[jak123sparo]

U fail these are PRANKS

[MrFerraribilar]

china...

[iowahawkfan4eva]

The only thing that sucks more than that is you with knee pads on....

[camoisdabest]

so this fat guy is going up a hill and then he falls down

it is funny because he is fat 

[AwSooooEpic]

A man is in a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 243."

[Baller527]

@AwSooooEpic Did you get that joke from a porno ?

[AwSooooEpic]

@Baller527 I got it off Sickipedia :)

[lovelisweety76]

also i am a lonely girl from the uk

[mohio23]

am homeless men on house arrest lol

thumps up

[mohio23]

best joke EVER is

why am i watching this???

am more confused then sperm in ass

[pabloypablo1]

Im sorry but that sucked mine is way funnier, maybe you should have a look and see how its done.

[juanr711]

an elephant and a camel meet on a road:

Elephantl: Say, why is it you camels have your breasts on your back?

The camel pauses for a mimute....

Camel: That's an unusual question coming from someone who has a dick on his face...

[armyofhamsters11]

Look to the left ___________> YOU FAIL :D.

[Cryptically]

1:19 did i just get laid?

[kingsley1238]

FUNNIEST JOKE EVER She: Bye He: Ah, I've waited so long She: You want me to leave? He: No! I dare not to think about it! She: Do u love me? He: Of course! Lots! She: Have you ever cheated on me? He: No! Why are you asking? She: Will you kiss me? He: Everytime I get the chance! She: Will you ever hit me? He: Of course not! Are you crazy?! She: Can I trust you? He: Yes. She: Darling! [Read from Bottom to top now]

[FallingSky7]

I love pandas,

The're not RACIST

They're black and white and asian.

[issilludor]

two penises are close to the swimming pool the penis asks to the other penis shoud we go to the swimming pool?? o im a little stiff from yesterday...

[sdraider126]

@facethemusic1344 *rubs forehead twice* ?((1lf) shot a cat)

[dodsamurai97]

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says

"I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

[baddam95]

BOB: "Hey Derek, can you lend me 10 pound please?"

DEREK: "Sorry i only have 8"

BOB: "Well, give me that then and you owe me 2 pound"

[MrHarrypotter576]

Man talks to god..

man: How much is a 1.000.000 years for you?

God: About a minute..

Man: How much is a 1.000.000 dollars for u?

God: A dollar..

Man: May i have a dollar?

God: Wait a minute..

[war4in2my0head]

nice lol good one

[Landoforpresident]

@MrHarrypotter576 actually 1.000.000 years are 48 minutes for God, you faggot

[SirKingjordanii]

@Landoforpresident how did you know?

[MrHarrypotter576]

@Landoforpresident ok. dnt really care, asshole..

[MilaLylajb789]

hm i am a lonely girl from the uk

[n1ca97]

hahahahahahah!!! XD i wanna try this!! ima call my mates tomorrow... XD made my day hahahah

[superman1113215]

@facethemusic1344 uhhh thats not funny at all bro, not trying to be a dick, just an opinion

[MomoHasMuffins]

I love flash mobs :D

[shagmobile34]

Awesome joke guys

[ShmarshCo]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

[kbvgbknm]

Q: How do you fit four gay guys on a bar stool?

A: Flip it upside down

[RandeeRenaqj390]

ha I`m good looking babe, with great sense of humor

[PokemonAQWCP]

what the heck

[aLeXx1314]

in the last one..you gotta love conformity!

[ZonaKayla]

japan has the BEST funny tv shows!!!

[MrDevonj71]

Wife:say dirty things in my ear

Husband:dishes,living room,bathroom

[SuperSeagates]

this is funny



[jackthestunner]

bob forgot his 40th anniversary with his wife, his wife tells him "there better be something that goes from zero to 200 in less then ten seconds in that drive way tomorrow morning!" shouts the wife.

the next day she wakes up and finds a small box on her drive way,she open it and reveals it is a new bathroom scale.

bob has been missing since Wednesday.

[FishStickKiller]

Wanna hear a better joke? Womans right.

[Sickling3]

Stop making fun of justin, its not her fault shes a girl.

PLUS justin HAS NO RESPECT TO EVEN SPELLED IN CAPS,

OR FINISHING HER NAME

[sillygirlchristian]

not a joke, but really FUNNY

[tonysoldan]

Here's a freestyle:

-Daddy! Why did the white guy kill the asian guy?

-Cause he wasn't funny.

-Why did Ted's dad kill his wife?

-Cause she was a bitch.

-Daddy! Why did that german kill uncle Ron?

-Cause he fucked his mom.

-Daddy! Why should I kill you?

-Cause I fucked your mom.

[psycicpowers]

Heres some for ya:

"Just found a picture of yer mother, and masturbation never felt so good!"

"The chef does everything but cook, thats what wives are for!"

"Whats the difference between a woman and a battery? Batteries have positive sides!"

What do fat slags and mopeds have in common? there both fun to ride til ya mates find out!"

"What separates dogs from fox's? Wedding rings!"

[retardevelotion42]

this. this right here. is why i love asia

[MRMILO57]

Hubby rushes into his house one morning and yells to his wife

''Charleen, pack up your stuff. I just won the lottery!''

''Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?''

''Whatever. Just so your out of the house by noon!''

[jsfr1209]

Wanna hear a joke?

Lil Wayne....

[elfchoc]

What happened when the werewolf swallowed a cock?

He got dicks!

[dorisneoh]

Sry but o dont get it :'(

[scream18ify]

a abo is in his backyard and finds a bottle he rubs it a genie pops out and says you have 3 wishes the abo say i wanna be rich BOOM chest fill his backyard with coins jewls etc he says im not that stupid i wanna be white boom hes white the genie says whats your 3rd wish the abo says never to work another day in his life BOOM hes black again

[bomb1234able]

@scream18ify i know it is aladdin.

[marshallcoolio]

whats funny

[TheFbinba]

@FeedTheHaters

Dude that's not funny, its just disgusting....

[JsonRulez]

ARE THERE EVEN ANY FUCKING JOKES ON THIS VIDEO?

[xxxDoomKnightxxx]

ok this one if funny but u might have to think about it but ok here it goes

there is a chineese couple who had retarded baby (anyone guess what they named it)..............."sum ting wong"

[nightmaredust911]

i want to marry and asian chick have 6 children 3 boys 3 girls all named carlos junior

[MarisMildaqk933]

so I would advise You to sit back, relax and enjoy my company

[jakicevic]

MAN:*Cooks stake*turns left *starts looking for pepper*

BOY:Sneaks into house,takes stake into mouth and runs away!

MAN:Turns around*WTF?Where's The Food?*No worry!I've already put too much pepper and chili on that steak ill make a new one!

BOY:*starts screaming*

[tahnounbintaj]

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

[sdraider126]

@tahnounbintaj *rubs forehead twice*

[forselanne8]

woman's rights

[kanwar119]

chuck norris is a looser, coz his heart is still beating him...

[FeedTheHaters]

Little Johnny was playing with little Mary, and he whispers something in her ear. She runs home and cries to mummy.

" Mummy mummy can little girls get pregnant?"

"Of course not darling." her mother tells her. So Mary runs outside and shouts.

" You were right Johnny we can play that game again."

[B0000MBITCH]

1st guy is just like gtfo out of here you damn kids

[MeeProduction1]

they just make people afraid in order to make us laugh? what a japanese system LOOOOOOOOL

[julianlara1010]

just stupid



[MrMegaborntoride]

WHAT DID THE O SAY TO THE Q? .........dude your dicks hanging out o.O

[allisonraty]

Gosh!! An excellent thing to try

[69shano69]

there is a spider on my keyboard it's okay i have it ubder Ctrl

[popp1966]

Funny the 3 or 4 guy was a great sport to let the crowd toss him in the air like that ... So funny!

[bensaccount123]

@popp1966 i dont think he had a choice!!

[ThePoopsmellsbad]

ME: Hey do you guys know devain?

ME: DO YOU KNOW DEVAIN!!!!

ME: COME ON EVERYBODY KNOWS DEVAIN

YOU GUYS: WHOS DEVAIN?

ME: DEVAIN ON MY PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[randomness8940]

I like chess

[SPAZZY1912]

gotta love the japs

[xOneLittleAzn]

Only in japan. haha.

[MegaRocket22]

Girll to her boy: i have slept with only 4 differentt men while you''ev slept with 22 different girlls yet people call me a harlot & they praise you...i dont understand. It's very unfair.

Boy replies: when one lock is opened by many keys it becomes a bad lock but when one key opens many locks, it is a master key.

[6868818]

Bill Clinton dies and go's to hell, after the devil greets him he gives him a choice of how he is going to spend eternity, he shows him a man lit on fire and endlessly burning, then a man being tortured by demons, and finaly a man getting a blow job from Nancy Palosi. Bill picks the last option, so the devil looks at Nancy and says, "We have found your replacement Nancy, you can leave now."

[MBS786]

Yesterday a guy threw some cheese at me and I said: "That wasn't very mature!"

[TheNorwegianDream]

Boy: hey girl were gonna play a game called red light, im gonna put my fingers on your thigh and when you say red light i have to stop.

Girl: Okay :)

Boy: '' Slides finger further up.

Girl: Stop.

Boy: Firetrucks dont stop at red.

[letsplaywithmatches]

@TheNorwegianDream you fucked that joke up

[TheNorwegianDream]

@letsplaywithmatches I also fucked ur mom up.. ask her if u dont belive me !



[letsplaywithmatches]

@TheNorwegianDream i asked her, she told me you were full of shit

[TheNorwegianDream]

@letsplaywithmatches Then u did not ask my mom.

[letsplaywithmatches]

@TheNorwegianDream wtf why would i ask your mom?

[TheNorwegianDream]

@letsplaywithmatches Nvm bro <3 -.-

[randompianoguy]

@TheNorwegianDream omigod dude. i was just watching this video and i saw that you are commenting on it. way to be you, just going around and leaving retarded fucking comments everywhere. btw i don't know how stupid you actually are, but you fucked up a joke and started talking about "fucking your own mom". what the fuck is wrong with you?

[TheNorwegianDream]

@randompianoguy wtf ??? dude what u want iv'e talkd to u b4 about that stuff and now u come again what u want just stfu ? Jeeeze

[SEANM4444]

Whats the differnce between a rooster and a prostitute?

A rooster says cock-a-doodle-do, and a prostitute says Any-Cock-will-do!

[MagicDadyRescueForce]

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed And her husband says "The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

[PkzJeroenv92]

Father buys a lie detector robot that beats people when they're lying. He decides to test it for dinner. "Son, where were you today?" Son says "I was at school." Robot beats the son! "Okay, I saw a dvd with my friend!" "Which DVD?" "Toy Story". Robot beats the son again! "Okay, it was a porn" cries the son. "What! When I was your age I did not know what porn was," says Dad. Robot beats father! His mother laughs, "hahaha! He's definitely your son." The robot beats mom.

[Indomiful]

Wanna hear a canadian joke?

Justin Bieber.

[lovesports5]

Last night, I got your girl into Last Stand. I used Deep Impact to Double Tap her Bouncing Betty's. She sucks me like she had Iron Lungs, I am glad I had Juggernaut. We went all night using Extreme Conditioning. Her Slight Of Hand got to me to Sonic Boom all over her face. Luckily for her I used Steady Aim so non of it went on her hair.We went round for round because I was packing Bandolier. And you didn't here us because we both using Dead Silence

[ComedyOfMikeyBharj]

quick comedy take on recent uk riots: /watch?v=bFRKNE6JwSg

[MrTimafy]

‎3 guys walk into a bar

The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in the world"

The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world"

The third guy "I have got the smallest dick in the world"

The 3 guys go to the Guinness World

The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world"

The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world"

The third guy comes back angry " Who the HELL is JUSTIN BEIBER? xD

[HereComesFink]

@MrTimafy Linkin Park??? no,,srry

[vessiga]

@MrTimafy lulz

[0wnagedotcom]

i feel sorry for justin bieber. everyone keeps making fun of her.

[xenix146]

@0wnagedotcom XD

[SubhanZombie]

@0wnagedotcom hahahahhhaahaaahaaha really I cant stop laaafing !!

[brandomitejr]

Nice:)

[bmfv123]

These asians always have so many people at their desposal.and they would be the ones to come up with kamakazi. Lmfao.

[PureQuadFMX]

The Good: Your Hugging a girl you like

The Bad: There's a boner

The Ugly: It's not yours

[SublimeCake800]

whats the only thing positive about a samalian... HIV.

[ghamdi070]

1:38 BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[djmm1397]

@LRW96LIVE i guess the jokes on the people who liked your comment because that was fuckn' stupid

[qqookkoohh]

haha "wheres my iphone " ... 'why did they take my shoes '

[NinjaMark84]

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic kid who walked into a bra?

[xxNeYTiRi13xx]

one jew man walk in bar and he walk out with money

[tomislavlac]

those who run away was someone's boss

[VannyHill]

/watch?v=i10Vltn_Pcs&feature=c­hannel_video_title  THATS MY PRANK, THX FOR WATCHING = )

[TheVladify]

LOL man i laughed my ass of

[707Arslan]

1:40 last one the best funniest one i ever saw.!!!

[BladeOfBlood111]

@jkadvices And i care beacuse...??

[89believer]

Hahaha that fucker had gun...!!

[promenoshi]

japanese pranks are the best

[jbfhz246]

lolllllllllllllllll

[yalyflow20]

omg i love when the guy gets mobed and then he takes out his gun and the croud runs....hahahaha good stuff

[W0lfMan35]

FUNNY!!!!