Terrible Sequel Headaches (part 29/32)

[baconlabs]

I love how the last note of this whole video is that goofy cuica sound.

[dejablue88]

lol if anything putting the claw thing on the faucet would make Paul go into the house to find a way to get the claw off.

[castlevania78]

Is the player a fucking idiot, or does he have some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder? Why all the repetition?

[keozeo]

@castlevania78 cause hes a moron who cant remember anything so he keeps going back. im like about to fall the fuck asleep.

[castlevania78]

@keozeo this longplay could have been what, an hour shorter without all the pointless backtracking? I especially love the way he keeps going into the bathroom for no reason, and then stands there for no less than 5 seconds....every...single...da­mn time he goes in the house. Fuck this longplayer and screw Mike Dawson. lol

[keozeo]

@castlevania78 i couldnt make it through the long play, i had to sleep and come back to it.mike dawson is such a boring mother fucker that i litterally fell asleep.

[joshlemagne]

Mike Dawson would make a good mascot for birth control.

[chosentonessournotes]

@iceroadlion Repetition. Iceroadlion likes it. Iceroadlion likes it. Iceroadlion likes it.

[Iceroadlion]

Metal Gear Dawson

[Iceroadlion]

Metal Gear Dawson

[TollingBells]

Someone mentioned Arise below, and I was wondering why you guys didn't mention the lack of keys and popscares...

Darkseed is like the worse of Arrival in Hell 2 and Lechuza combined, with the situation of Satantorium, since the art is okay or kinda creepy in some parts but the game ruins it by being boring. It really is like a awful flash game, and Newgrounds would eat it up...I give it a 8 out of 10.

[AmazingL4rry]

So can anyone explain what the method/philosophy to this "long play" concept is? Because all I see is madness and incompetance. Is it really all about showing off every worthless thing possible and pointlessly retreading everything in search of more flavor text?

Who thinks this is a good idea? I gotta echo another comment I see here, can you imagine ANYONE watching these sessions without the commentary?

[NotanS]

@AmazingL4rry Well the thing is, in a GOOD longplay, nothing would be repeated that wouldn't need to be, instead of going to the bathroom, waiting 5 seconds and leaving again.

[chosentonessournotes]

@AmazingL4rry I think Long Play just refers to playing through the game with 100% completion. Some people don't quite understand what "100% completion" means. For other examples of Long Plays, look at Star Strike, Last Alert and Rise Of The Dragon.

[Iwuznothere]

Paul think's he is in the fallout games and needs to fill his house full of useless empty item holders like drawers or cabinets.

[TwiliPrincessWolf]

You're right, I'm not watching this. I'm listening to it while doing other crap.

[Rocky183]

I don't think anyone ever watched this entire longplay without their commentary.

[lolwut707]

10:25 - 10:35

Funniest part

[ocdfreak]

Haha, I love Rob Lowe's character in Parks and Rec. If he was a character in Darkseed, it might actually not be as painful

[AppleCider56]

Paul is actually the developer for the Arise series, he uses the drawers to get him motivated.

[JasperChalks]

I get the feeling that Paul wan't able to turn the tap off either so he decided to just make the most of it.

[hploveshack99]

You know, at least Arise had shit in its drawers.

[spiderfred1]

This fruitcake is probably into country music too...

[Zknight7126]

Aw, we have to wait until the next video for the mirrors. :(

[SamuraiFoochs]

What is it with this game and babies? Hungry fetal machinegun babies, developmentally disabled Yoda babies, Shrimp Baby, fetal Mario Halo baby...

[Evan121991]

Shrimp Baby vs. Parrot Plant for ultimate supremacy

[JoeShemoe]

Paul's house is the set for Arise 5.

[9tgg]

This is the first ep I watched. What. The. Fuck.

[lich109]

@9tgg Don't worry, in two videos Mike's mom gives a very thorough explanation to catch you up to speed.

[CastlePokemetroid]

@9tgg Here's a tip: DON'T WATCH THE OTHER VIDEOS. THEY WILL ONLY CONFUSE YOU FURTHER IF YOU KNOW THE BACK STORY.

[CakeDispenser]

Iv have to say is that the most entertaining character in the Darkworld is shrimp baby.

[Abaddon16cmz]

When I saw all those drawers I could only think the game turned into Arise

[BlackBeWhite2k7]

So...he needed the claw to turn the fucking faucet?

Is it just me, or does Mike seem to need advanced alien technology to complete normal everyday tasks and games that he's too pathetic to get done himself...I eagerly await when he uses the ancients ultimate weapon to open that jar of pickles that his mom desperately needs.

[bust2007]

@pooky1991 spoil alert snitch .... Seriously some pole need to stay in the darkworld

[sygnus5]

I'd love to use Dark WMM, it would be really handy and easy to use

[Pooky1991]

After watching the ending on Blip, the whole cult shit and all that makes even less sense.

[Nionivek]

@Pooky1991 It makes a lot more sense if you think of it in a certain context.

[VVD]

Seriously, fuck you Mike Dawson. I mean that with every bit of my soul.

[inferno232]

You know, clearly, we're on the wrong track with our alternative fuel solution. We need to start utilizing severed heads.

[Ezo945]

I better get an arise joke out of those draws, so help me God...

[thealexgher]

312th viewer did you murder mike dawesen?

id so could you give me the ability to spell

if not would you please murder him

[TheHeroHartmut]

The shit got less 'real' and more 'shit'.

[bust2007]

One person is a fruit and has a cactus shoved up he's ass.

[MontyPythonLolwut]

I've watched ahead on blip, and I have to say that the "Darkworld Mom" thing was the greatest 30 seconds of my life. It also completely made up for this entire game.

[ElrondHubbard54]

I hate this game. I hate this game. I really, really fucking hate this game.

[Mr70084]

@ElrondHubbard54 but you watch every episode? yea we are all in the same boat :)

[ElrondHubbard54]

@Mr70084 Of course. Honestly, it's not just the game itself, it's also the fact that the guy playing it is soooooooo damn terrible at it.

[PrickRolled]

Rita did get fucked after Mike touched her, just by everyone else besides Mike.

[NCHammer326]

"A neon cactus. How charming. This fruitcake is probably into country music too."

Mike, you live with your mom and have a poster of a dude fencing above your bed. Your house in the previous game wasn't exactly a pretty sight either.

I know you have no right to criticize anything at all, being dumb and useless as shit, but you're particularly unqualified when it comes to homes and interior design.

[zzyzx0788]

I think I got it figured out. This is this guy's very first time playing this game and he occasionally uses a strategy guide, which explains all the stoppages. Which even taking that into consideration this guy is still an idiot because some of this even without a strategy guide I would know not to do. Like don't go try to talk to a character when they're DEAD, and don't visit a room a billion times that obviously has no more purpose (like the shrimp baby room)

[BagOfMagicFood]

@zzyzx0788 What annoys me the most about this longplay is that it really isn't as perfectly thorough as Retsupurae has been joking. I've noticed from comparing to other plays of this game that toward the end here, Mike misses out on several conversations he could have had even without save-scumming.

It's as if the ONLY thing the player memorized was how to avoid getting a game-over, and the rest of the time he's just stumbling around blindly. (Which makes an upcoming task even more incredible.)

[PTp1ranha]

I miss Paul.

[shawnspringstead]

"who would mike dawson be a good mascot for?"

Impudence.

[madfoobak166]

they should re-make it....but with better graphix, and the end is in the first minit of the game

[simmy403]

Goodbye baby shrimp

And Rita shake my hand

Here comes the mirror maze for

To take me to the mirror maze again

[videogamenostalgia]

'Pandora, I need your talents again'

Worst chat-up line ever...

[Gamingnerd]

If anyone's actually interested, those neon cactus' go between $60-$70 if you want to have a normal Paul Cooper bedroom. Just make sure you've got 4 hangers, and an out-of-proportioned mirror.

[linguisticist]

Since when does Mike Dawson count as a sentient being?

[chosentonessournotes]

I said it before, and I'll say it again... All those drawers, and not a single Arise joke from slowbeef or diabetus. I am disappoint.

[Goldbloodeddragon]

@chosentonessournotes Wow, I didn't even think of that. :P

[razor8191]

The scale and perspective of Paul's home doesn't make any sense.

It looks like a trailer home on the outside, but inside there are dozens of desks stacked to the ceiling in one room, and a giant neon cactus in another room.

[vhulk501]

Oh no! Not Darkseed 2! The only way out of here is ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

[TheAnonftw]

Did mike dawson seriously just call someone a fruit cake.MIKE DAWSON?!

[KKoserYaks]

Oh no! Not the hall of drawers! The only way out of here is- (Random JPEG)

[M413]

Tags: hot ring toss action

[CCRockit]

Yeah, what a nut, he listes to country music.

this is kinda funny you pick to upload this video today, because the CMA Awards were on last night.

[somahiru]

FUCK WHY NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS ONE!!

Oh right.... Mike Dawson...

[TheGamedawg]

13:50 uhhhhh, bad memories of Arise come right back.

[jman3267]

@TheGamedawg

Seriously, How did they not make an Arise joke when they got to that room?

[PaperMario15]

@jman3267 Probably because they don't like being predictable and unfunny!

[fastbreak333]

Oh God... Paul is guilty of an even worse crime. He's the creator of Arise!

[EnsignN7]

I too have a neon cactus in my room

[thedancemetaltwins]

I'm learning to sew at the moment, and once I hone my skills a bit more, I swear on Mike Dawson's mustache I'll make a Shrimp Baby plushie. The world needs a real life Shrimp Baby.

[grottypissedstained]

10:23

I lost it.

[Hamsteere]

To be fair, that ring toss action is pretty hot.

Considering you're throwing it on a self-lubricating dildo...

[CalBro]

Shrimp Baby, 5 bucks a pound.

[MrAnticrimson]

always read the tags XD

[16ktsgamma]

Paul a weirdo that has shelves in his house.

[Soragan]

Thanks for uploading these longplays. This one really helped kill time towards Skyrim.

[rickhh1]

Mike Dawson: The Insomniac's best friend.

[EternalGuardian07]

This video was only 3 minutes long! This longplayer is REALLY getting on my nerves now.

[Aginor27]

Mike Dawson would be a good mascot for Anti-depressants.

[ENM173]

@Aginor27 "It could be worse, you could be me!"

[Omot1122]

@Aginor27 you mean for depressants

[kuzikus]

I swear, the longplayer is getting more retarded by the minute

[12usty]

I didn't date Rita. :(

[pullahoko]

Build A Shrimp Baby - coming soon to a local mall near you.

[KawaiiAppleJuice]

@pullahoko I actually would buy one, not even kidding.

[DoctorKarnage]

@KawaiiAppleJuice

As slowbeef said, Shrimp baby is really cute for whats he's supposed to be.

[KawaiiAppleJuice]

@DoctorKarnage Slowbeef knows well, cause shrimp baby should be known world wide.. someone make shrimp baby plushies... I need one for my collection.

[Goldbloodeddragon]

@pullahoko I'd buy a shrimp baby pillow pet

[Ygdrasel]

@pullahoko

"Adopt-A-Shrimp" - Coming soon to the Nintendo Wii.

[SoundsofDarkess]

I went as Mike Dawson for Halloween. I got beat up by a gang of five year olds, and the only candy I got was a razor bladed candy apple.

[SirCarnageTheBrave]

just wait till the next few episodes...they will explain everything ;D

[Proletariat12]

holy shit! That just jogged my memory!

This is not a joke guys.

When I was in elementary school, there was a DARE officer doing the typical DARE program stuff. But he did look exactly like fucking Mike Dawson. He had the mustache, the pathetic haircut, and that stupid look on his face.

The only difference is he was in a police uniform instead of a blazer and jeans.

But I like to imagine now that when he was off duty, he wore the Dawson outfit.

But damn. He did look exactly like him.

I'm scared.

[Lasty91000]

Oh, no! Not the hall of mirrors! The only way out of here is si ereh fo tuo yaw ylno ehT !srorrim fo llah eht toN !on ,hO

[MaplewhatProductions]

and then he died.

[kbdude8]

hi

[MousePunk]

When I grow up, I want to be like Mike Dawson. Batshit crazy and a massive fucking loser

[M30W3R]

As expected, Mike Dawson is too boring to have a dark self.

He has to make one for himself, and EVEN HE hates Mike Dawson!

[85879]

i think this game would have taken less time if we hadn't talked to everyone

[MattHubris]

Paul's house looks like something from the Arise series.

(where the fuck is everyone? o.o)

[MattHubris]

Hot ring toss action?