George Carlin - All the Things in life

[SuperFairy6]

funny

[HonestMan395]

He is so right.

to paraphrase Abraham Lincoln:

America has a "Government of the Wealthy, by the Wealthy, for the Wealthy."

The sad thing is that most Americans actually believe that they live in a democracy, but every four years they troup obediently to the polling stations and vote for a president between the Republican's millionaire and the Democrat's millionaire.

[Paskalmk1]

there is no 5:50

[MrCassavius]

Its easy to admire comedians as funny men, not so easy to admire them as human beings too. Carlin was of the latter kind

[Nameless9635]

he talks like the joker from darkknight movie

[EndPuppet]

@Nameless9635 sure but i think its the other way around

[mba2ceo]

Sad but true.

[AxelTiger]

damn he sounds like bill hicks (sound of his voice)

[neonnightcrawler]

never laughed so hard.

[SmokeyMcadams]

Funny how he was saying this years ago and we, the idiot nation, haven't changed shit. Fuck, I hate people

[Spathiphyllum]

5 dislikes are rich bankers.

[nachosmachos]

The dislike button is for disliking the dislikes right? Or else it doesnt make sense that there exists a dislike button for disliking the video on any George Carlin clip,

[Zazmanaz]

I love Carlin when he is talking about social things, but not when it comes down to politics.

[rich1651]

is it just me or does Jeff Dunham's "Peanut" sound like him?

[mistress20069]

@rich1651 It`s bc Jeff copied Penut from Carlin!

[ArmaniAttack]

Even though im not Athiest, this guy is one of my damn teachers.

[codern]

THE MASTER!

[homeworld33]

1:50, I've seen this like 5 times, I still laugh

[iisadoraf]

I miss you George Carlin whatever the place you are maybe in some place with weed Legalizeeeeeeeeeeeee- it *

[AndrewWerdna1000]

lol im in tears

[TheDushMon]

RIP Mr Carlin, you will be in our memory forever!

[GeorgeGogle]

simply GENIUS



[dexisgod1234]

This man Is my hero

[Tacoburger11]

i so know what he means by the chain linked fence thing! LMAO

[BlonduRealMadrid]

now i'm not a guy who likes to be idiot and say something about the fockers that disliked this, but in this case i will be the idiot who will say something about those 5 empty heads, WHY DID YOU DISLIKE THIS, you can't understand or you're just too faking stupid ? is this the only way you can make contact with another human ? by disliking and so people are talking about you ? IDIOT.

[Jadecool312]

u r too right! Americans...plaa!

[CrunchieDan]

5:32 to the end is the best part. I love how he could compress himself then bring himself back up to height.

[ANBUblackops666]

Jesus Christ I miss this "old fuck" lol

[Roron0aZoro11]

I used to like George Carlin but now I realize he just made his money off of complaining about shit and giving people negative perspectives on everything in the world.

[DocStrange0123]

@Roron0aZoro11 so what? good for him... that doesn't make a lot of his points and complainings not valid all of the sudden..

[toobularbells]

@Roron0aZoro11 HE DIDNT COMPLAIN YOU FUCKING MORON...

HE COMMENTED...ITS CALLED 'SOCIAL COMMENTARY'

Let me guess...you're "american" right?

idiot

[debbiechickie5]

These things are so stupid, yet I'm laughing my ass off...."the chain link fence goes WHOOOo--ooooooo"...LOL. I thought that was just me!

[erikdanielperez]

5 people are adopted.

[DustinTheGoth]

@erikdanielperez RWJ sucks dick.

[khaled6100]

he living in your mind XD

[TheoneandonlyGTA]

5:18 ministry of silly walks :P

[dbzphish84]

@TheoneandonlyGTA hahahahahahah, i was thinking the exact same thing!

[Aldaan3333]

bwahahahahaha!!!!!! another one of his best bits XD

[david292978]

@Aldaan3333 the air plane one and the one about saving the planet is golden

[vonkiser]

I know man George was the best. He was the first comedian I listened to-and man was I disapointed when I realised that all comedians werent like him.

[Introducing123]

I idolize George so much, he was such an amazing person. He would lay the truth right out there on the table, and be damn funny at the same time. RIP George...In my opinion the greatest human being to walk this planet.

[scumgod13]

George Carlin is a funny, funny man! Where ever he maybe hes probably laughing right now!

[sublocal]

haha man id love to take acid with george

[Chimenko89]

The poor get hella benifits and dont need to pay taxes... It's better to be poor or rich... sucks to be middle...

[CoolerKing37]

@Chimenko89 It never sucks to be rich.

[Chimenko89]

@CoolerKing37 i didn't say it did... If you can't be rich, then it's easier to be poor in America.

[snatchingthepiano]

@Chimenko89 Yeah. Remind me of what those benefits are. I have to go to my third job. And then school.

[snatchingthepiano]

@Chimenko89 Yeah. Remind me of what those benefits are. I have to go to my third job. And then school.

Think before you leave a comment next time you fuck.

[Chimenko89]

@snatchingthepiano Welfare, food stamps, cal grant, fafsa, get fucking payed for going to college instead of paying them!

[snatchingthepiano]

@Chimenko89 Welfare is nothing. Food stamps don't help. The other grants are nothing in comparison to the real cost of school.

[Chimenko89]

@snatchingthepiano Lets say ur family has like 3 kids, ull be getting like 600$ extra per child on top of the 800$ u get for urself and ur spouce, practically same thing for food stamps, but a few hundred less, and u can only buy food with em. now cal grant, and having the college pay you for ur units. U can get up to about 5,000$ per semester. for only 12 units! so STFU!

[sk8ter4life1117]

that "one more step" thing ALWAYS happens to me oh and rip carlin you gave us laughter in a gray and dull world

[ptfuser]

Sweet!

[rboffill]

I like how when Carlin wants to laugh at his own jokes. he wheezes so he doesnt spoil it.trying to hide it inside.

[trane81]

wow he was a genius

[MasterOfPros]

Holy shit, my hips are in my chest lmfao

[tr0nox]

3 ha G.C haters here :(

[MadeinHell2]

@tr0nox I'd rather say 3 rich and bored fuckers.

[GeoCarlinfuckdyomama]

@MadeinHell2 George Carlin is fucking your grandmother in Hell right now!!!

[MadeinHell2]

@GeoCarlinfuckdyomama

But... but... both my grandmothers are alive O_o

[Ondori412]

@MadeinHell2 Holy shit, a paradox

[CousinsOfTheCorn4]

Heh heh heh....:P

[Veggi229]

every cut, scrap, scratch, scar, scab, bruise, boil, bump, pimple, zit, wart, welt, and abscess you've had since birth! Try saying that just one time...

[splurgenl]

I love that MAN! He's right you know....... Those upperclass asshole's!

[thepiratep]

wow man, this guy is genius, dane cook can go jump off a cliff

[TruthThanks]

i love this era of george, he had soo much crazy energy here

[billiejeangirl123]

both of the stair things happen to me everyday plus the forgetting why u went into a room thing haha and every other thing Carlin mentioned xD first time I watched this I thought I would actually truly DIE from laughing! I couldnt breath rofl

[VitalSigns1]

This man was a true genius!!!!!

[himscullaroy]

crazy old bastard

[ilovetogofast88]

All of what he's said has happened to all of us I'm sure

[ae186k]

Carlin was a hypocritical piece of crap.

[BlueLemon19]

george you are an angel

[superepicman1]

@BlueLemon19 he's up in heaven making everyone laugh right now

[DG4241]

@superepicman1 How many times does he have to say it, there is no heaven?

[superepicman1]

@DG4241 how can you prove it's there? how can you prove the opposite? hmm?

[crazynoob11]

Ever had a fart, but then ended up shitting yourself?

[cheesecats1]

OMG The best!!!!!!!!!

[MyJim1111]

funny but truthful

[ADMAGIC101]

I find it funny that he uses logic but somehow ends up making it funny

[MrAmazing617x]

you'll hear Nothing but the truth from this man

[two210]

Sadly... i can related to all the shit he said...

fuck, i hope its not only me...

[funder1der]

@two210 you have no idea. theres an entire following of king carlin.

[nickmordo]

@two210 Me too. I feel like he speaks my language.

[oliverrainman]

he sounds more like the joker from dark night lol 

[lilchris10kid]

So true and funny, "second stage of syphills" lmao

[TruthThanks]

i love u george

[plejeune1]

Joey how are ya?

[SkyLight2714]

Maaaan hes a genious :)))))))

[TheKurtVedder]

@SkyLight2714 i'm sure you mean genius right?

[srknut]

One of the great comedians! Hey, did you notice the first minute or so of this routine sounds just like Glenn Beck! :-)

[slantedeskimo]

@srknut How so? Beck champions the rights of the rich, Carlin was pointing out how we're being fucked by them.

[Bakazuraz]

This is one of my favorite stand-up routines of his. It is just pure 100% comedic genius that anyone can enjoy.

[Iamfukenripped]

LoooL

[trot4484]

this is just too funny

[Resistance8]

Ha. I've been unlucky enough, okay, stupid enough, to experience both of the stair situations. (My hips are in my chest!)

[Trinitysx]

poor bastard had the old timers

[MrOBreezy]

@Trinitysx The disease is not called "Old Timers"

[nickthestick26]

OK in case you didn't know, YouTube only shows 10 comments at a time. So many people probably are not unlike myself in coming on here to watch George Carlin, then looking at the comments and thinking, "What the fuck does this sketch have to do with God, religion, or the bewildering lack of grasp some people have on those two things?"

I wish you'd be so kind as to take your lack of humility to a chatroom and let the rest of us comment on the actual video, which is very funny by the way.

[bricksalegend]

@nickthestick26 this comment should be mandatory on youtube vids, youve pretty much nailed it m8

[hoagly]

@nickthestick26 Your comment still rings true 8 months later. How sad.

you must be a descendant of Mr. Carlin!

[shotsilver]

you know those of the world how don't believe in god or have a religon are not going round shoving their non beliefs down belivers throarts. go away and stop being rude to people (18majdoleen)

[rOmAnArOuNd20]

lmao all of this is hilarious!! he was a genius when was time to make people laugh.

[18majdoleen]

I feel sorry for you god is not a man that why you lost your way .

[kylecorreia]

YEA? wheres ur god helping the Haitians?..or ww1 ww2 Vietnam..genocides rapes kidnappings weres ur god than...all he would have to do is show himself to the world one time and it would all stop...but he doesnt ...why couse he doesn't exist grow up...seriously the bioble is such a crock of shit

[dancepad]

LOL i totally agree xD

[kylecorreia]

one time thats all it would take.And this world would change instantly. But gosh darnet Adam and eve ate that dang apple that the talking snake told them to eat. now we are all doomed in despair left to suffer through genicides rapes serial killers..all couse that darn fucking apple get real and grow up ppl

[ABOM420]

Carlin was a philospher with a comedic spin.

more philosphy, but fucking hilarious

[TheCheerioBandit]

"I do this all the time. It's the third stage of syphilis!"

[brolli4454]

man i miss carlin, he was so right about everything!

[Luv0rSin]

@brolli4454 yeahhhhhhhhhhh i miss him too =(((( .. todays "comedians" are bullshit

[brolli4454]

@Luv0rSin too true, most comedians are no where near as intelligent like carlin was. he was smart enough to do jokes about serious things, but good enough to make toilet humor funny too!

[Luv0rSin]

@brolli4454 lolllllll yeahhhh ... ughhh ... comedy died when George Carlin passed away

[brolli4454]

@Luv0rSin hey we still have lewis black!

[Luv0rSin]

@brolli4454 lol ur right

[MortimerKahn]

@brolli4454 and Doug Stanhope!

[DustinTheGoth]

@brolli4454 300th vote up.

[brolli4454]

@DustinTheGoth thank u man, i'm glad so many people agree :)

[DustinTheGoth]

@brolli4454 he used to be somewhat decent.

but =3 has descended into a steaming pile of dog shit.

[tranceition]

@DustinTheGoth ...come on mate, I wouldn't say that ...RWJ is still a cool guy ..

[invaderdibdragon19]

when he says the its Wednesday and you think its Thursday part that happens to me EVERY Wednesday!

[invaderdibdragon19]

ITS FUNNY BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

[Ravenboi22]

welcome to the humor of George Carlin

[sfurner]

"They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other, so that they, the rich, can run off with all the fucking money!"

[alex811004]

You don't have to believe in god (which doesn't exist) to go to heaven, aparantly he forgives all so who gives a shit

[juxsdo]

@alex811004

most people who don't believe in god also don't believe in heaven, since they come from the same source(bible).

[urbanjournalist]

George Carlin & Bill Hicks were on a higher plane............their insight

[Kizzymorgan]

how are the worms down there georgie? haha... Thanks for the sane words you old fuck. We all appreciate em.

[draco17846]

gabd3v he isnt in heaven he didnt belive in it or god he said so him self

[Gabd3v]

for an old ass, he was the best one ever!

I miss him.

[rg2027x]

*TRUTH*

[karl198]

yeah! :D

[rg2027x]

He really lays it down!

[Krauserowns]

Carlin was way ahead of his time.

[OoOo101112]

disagree, he was at the right place, 5 min ahead of everybody

[cartonhead]

I wish I could just go live in the forest and fuck goats.

[MarcoDantes]

What a mind.. Carlin was a genius !

Rest in Peace ! You`ll be missed by many !

[KingBizarre]

I agree with Carlin on most topics and his facial expressions are priceless!

Rest in peace George.

[Gabd3v]

lets put it this way.

I wonder how much of an audience he is getting in heaven?

[definca]

Please more minds like George Carlin's. He lived his life being more alive than billions of people. Take his advice and question everything.

[rg2027x]

What a mind... We need about 250 million more people like this..in this world.

Where is the new breed :o?

[Drowbot]

LOL the bit about dirt on someone's face....priceless

[mobydick187]

I agree this is one of the lamest skits of carlin, start cussing and going off on a tangent already carlin... afterall thats the only use you had on the planet ......... to make us laugh and forget for a few moments of why we are here. You are a comedian carlin and not a prophet nonetheless

[amscott56]

This really isn't funny.

[Dresden1065]

Listen amscott56, it's not meant to be funny (at least not in the sense that you mean...aka Dave Chappelle) it's meant to be funny in a harsh way. Basically it's laughing at the ugliness of reality and the human condition, if you have the stomach for it.

There in lies Carlin's sarcastic genius. Don't look to laugh, just listen to his words, and maybe, just maybe, you'll unintentionally laugh.

[videochemist]

if he could've got the same crowd just talking about politics he would've.

[filthysystem]

"Its funny because its true" (Homer J Simpson:) The first part about the classes' is spot on! Everything else is just hilarious.I know he's looking up screaming up @ us :)

[OfficialArmonist]

Joey, how are ya? Great stuff.

RIP

[Sphinn]

"I do this all the time. This is the 3rd stage of Syphilis."

[AriannaDemina]

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen!

[WatchingObserving]

i died from laughter during the last minute, and with my dying breath i post this lmao!

[merlin460]

The funniest stuff in life is true.

[IXXBLACKXXI]

what is that? how do they do that? LMAO

[JamesBAMF85]

the two words that came to my mind were "dank weed"

[JDev82]

2:23

[sabineman74]

and two words float across your minds... altzheimers disease. lmao

[one1939]

All Hail to King Gorge Carlin

[Shindai]

I really enjoyed Carlin when he was giving one of his angry rants with a lot of aggression and swearing and stuff, but I really love it when he was more chilled out like this, not so much swearing, with more relaxed humour. This is one of my favourite segments I've seen him do, still excellent

[YokoKawashima]

ya just wanna slap the bastid!

[theprofetofthewaaagh]

"the poor are there, just to scare the shit out of the middle class"

that made me literatly lmao

[fibbsabaddy]

Its funny coz its soooooooooo true. 1984 by george orwell spells it out pretty well.

[moyade1]

"holy shit , my hips are in my chest"

ohh dear god I can't stop laughing :D:D

[krenoime2]

good for you.

[grotezakhooi]

r.i.p.

[davikrehalt]

i salut you george carlton

[aronfl]

I salute you George Carlin

.....

[beatles61]

its all true

[McGurnaghan]

joey how are ya !

[PlayMeSkaate]

Hahh so true. some philosophy inn his comedy :]]

[liquidfreak]

The poor are there, just to scrae the shit out of the middle class!!!!

[shipcomesin]

reminds me of montaigne and tati.. hilarious!!

[germanpride20]

OMgggggggggggggg I am screaming for laughter

[ChronoEros]

"Yeah I do this all the time, it's the third stage in Syphilis"

LMAO

[Android369]

he's amazing

[jeanlenor]

He is the best.

[alverickflair]

funniest man i've ever seen