Jack Handey - A Scarier Skeleton

[Threske]

You fucked up: darkened, you're, it's, skeleton's, of, actually, as, instruments, teenagers', they're, vices, their, they're, busy, you're, bury, sense, might, Halloween -- that's excluding all of the words you omitted or unnecessarily included -- yet you managed to put the diacritical é in cliché? I hope you get raped to death by a skeleton.

[tookurjaerbs]

It would suck if electricity became exctinct

[MTCatman]

LOL! Pretty cool, thanks!

[107moneymike]

That was so moronic i had to laugh.The narrator spoke so nonchalantly made it quite humorous.:P

[Iseeit4u]

Funny, loved this. 

[lithjimmy]

I hope in the olden days, there were giant skunks that roamed our continent, because, boy, am I glad they're gone.

[JoeDeceiver]

Awesome upload and great catch!

[sevenboarder]

@JoeDeceiver Thanks man!

[KeepColdwithCoolidge]

Very inspiring.

[ninphette]

U did a really good job of re-creating Phil Hartman's innocent matter-of-factness. What was truly hilarious about it WAS the length. It just kept going and going and getting more wacked as it went. Thanx 4 posting!!!

[thomasbreznay]

@ninphette jack handey is actually the one who narrated all the deep thoughts. not phil hartman

[samqueler]

He's clearly influenced by Carlin's later work, but he doesn't have the delivery to match. It's probably a good book, but that's no excuse for the dead pan (although he's doing a dry humor thing) delivery. If you like this guy and don't believe me, check out "When will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops" which you can find via google video. It's like this but better, not because this isn't funny, but because George Carlin was a master.

[bxbutler1]

This is freaking genious.

Jack Handy is my hero.

[hobbes64]

Thanks for posting Jack Handey is very funny! And sorry but the spelling was pretty shoddy (not "shotty").

[nukeme369]

This is 4:30 too long. The video is also missing the funny. And Jack Handey was a real person.

[sevenboarder]

Merry Christmas!

[BigE3991]

You used the wrong form of their/there/they're TWICE within two sentences. And right after those you spelled busy wrong. That's embarrassing.

[sevenboarder]

Joy to those who can look past my flaws.

For what it's worth, your piano videos are amazing.

[Iseeit4u]

@sevenboarder I think BigE3991 was being sarcastic.

[zachariass]

@BigE3991 misspelled "instruments", too...

[freim93]

Hilarious!!! From beginning to end!!!

[Jughand]

Incredible.......a true genius.

[Beerlejuice]

This is great, but it's really fucked up.

[turtlevillage]

Mazing

[kfag101]

awesome! lol

[Horsenibbler]

that was hilarious! and this was my like 4th time listening to it!

[rere989375]

that was horably dragged out even though thats kinda the point. there's been better ones of these

[Reddy123]

It's awesome. Thanks for doing this!

[falstaffswims]

"even if the dog doesn't get shot, it could drag the skeleton around as it fires randomly in all directions... and no one wants to see that."

[xthatfatguyx]

best part

[MPaulHolmes]

Electricity might become extinct. I love his awkward wording. He is hilarious!

[skateboardtheory]

awesome..pure awesome

[moldypotatochip]

There are a lot of typos in this.

[falstaffswims]

"If a skeleton's not scary, what's the point of even having one?"

[zelemont]

hahaha i totally am going to bolt a knife to my hand tonight just to be prepared

[U2fan24]

OMG! I loved this! I think I need one of those heart reviving machines to bring me back to life after laughing/crying so much!! I'm gonna have to type this out as well. Who's voice is that in the vid btw?? It sounds just like him.

[zelemont]

I think it WAS him. sevenboarder said he "found a recording of what I heard on there web site."

[luposlues]

If this was from SNL, it was probably Steve Martin, who worked with Handey on most of the Deep Thoughts. Wiki it

[debibulated]

What's a darken tomb?

[cartellover07]

A tomb that is dark.

[debibulated]

That would be a dark tomb or a darkened tomb.

[lastastronaut]

WOW.... It is AMAAAAZING to me that people were actually not only giving two rat shits about the f^&$#ng grammer and punctuation, but even moreso that you actually bothered to CORRECT IT.... Cheeeeeezuz crust get a life

professor douche

[toopertrooper]

With regards to the grammar. If you have actually read Jack Handey books, he distorts the grammar. Even in his speech you can hear how he uses run on sentences or keep adding to a sentence with "and...and" or "but...but".

It's part of the point.

[SecretTheatre]

"Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition."

[SPACEM4N]

hail to handey

[redrobot77]

my skeleton is very scary BIATCH!

[seddy08]

he didnt have to type that fast

he could go back and fourth as he needed

[feelfree86]

i dont know why ppl are giving u a hard time with the grammar...its tough to type that fast. thanks for uploading!

[hommee]

Nice post man I love jack handey. thanks for putting this up. And seriously what kind of loser posts on his grammer mistakes when what your supposed to be paying attention to is jack handey's humor.

[blackrainuponus]

Oh yeah they raped youtube of all the SNL skits.

[hotpipesblog]

That was definitely Jack Handey. Unfortunately, your repeated grammar mistakes, punctuation errors, and misspelled words kinda detracted from the genius of the great Mr. Handey.

Go sit on a tack.

[sevenboarder]

we define our words, our words don't define us...

you try typing this as fast as he speaks without making mistakes, if you can do it, good for you, you post this vid then... keep is real...

[egyptiansushi]

Totally not hating on you at all, but I thought I'd give a short lesson. :)

"There" talks about a place, such as "I saw him over there". "They're" is a contraction of "they are", so you'd say something like "They're weird looking."

"Their" is ownership, such as "That is their car, not mine."