I have been VOLUNTEERING with the Cure Drive almost 20 years. Cured my own herpes - 2 kinds - HSV-1 and 2-- got it in '66 -- 28 years of outbreaks. I have helped people cure cancer, Graves' disease, lupus, CFS, fibromyalgia, FLU, many others - the main movie on CureDrive's Channel is me helping someone cure LEUKEMIA.
You learn IMMUNICS from FREE TUTORIALS at CureDrive(dot)ORG. Call me - I will help you - I'm Bayard Henry Barnes on Facebook.
I've lost 60 pounds and finally got an 8 pack since I found out my friend has a tumor. I was even asked to model in an upcoming issue of Mens Health. I'm going to dedicate the modeling session to him. :)
I'm sure we've all seen and laughed at the people who don't know about The Onion and takes the news seriously, but if I didn't know about them, I would probably believe this story.
Lol, i cant believe when i first saw one of the TheOnion Vids i thought it was real, until i looked at the comments, before i was like "wow the media is sick" but when i found out it was all staged i was like "oh crap i cant believe they tricked me :)" and now i laugh at these videos, their so original
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF How does this "take the piss out of them"? My dad dies of cancer last year and my sister who is very overweight ran (walked) a half marathon to raise money. I find this funny and she finds this funny as it is true.
@WillShakespeare2007 do you not think its in bad taste [ keep it up after thier friends die ]at the end ,its saying theres no hope ,there is ,im not going to die ,it seems wrong to belittle the great work by real helpers ,not just someone who wants a good workout should go to an oncology ward ,maybe im too sensitive ,theres another man doesnt believe he has cancer [thats a real obnoxious one ]
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF Sure it is in bad taste but it is not being negative towards people that have cancer or people that help raise money. At the most you could say it is trivializing it but I think it is just a joke. They are not really commenting on anything. I think one should only worry about humor if it supports racist, sexist or other discriminatory views. This does not discriminate or put anyone down it is just gallows humor.
@WillShakespeare2007well i can see what your saying but its trivialising ,when they say the more they deteriorate the fitter he gets ,then hed like to find someone with lukeamia so he could have a swim ,its belittling a terrible desease ,i suppose its one of the few subjects left that has a very fine line of bad taste but not offensive ,what did you think of the other vid ,i see you subbd to onion ?
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF I found that difficult to watch as my own dad was in denial and for 6 months. He would not even sort out his affairs when the nurse told him straight out he had less than a week. It made it really hard as we are stuck with a half built holiday home in the US that we can not afford to finish or sell and ...well lots of problems. I also think the two videos about missing children being raped is not a funny topic but I understand the satire. The rest I think are very funny.
@WillShakespeare2007 oh sorry to hear that mate very sorry ,if mine comes back then i will make a wiill ,i should have enough time ,i suppose we both agree theres some [i hadnt watched those ,when i see onoin i swich over u see ]not very nice ones ,i suppose this one is nt the worst ,maybe even if its in bad taste it may save someone one day as it may make someone think ,bye
people need to loosen up. they are not making fun of people who have cancer, they are making fun of the people who use cancer victims. this is sad but true, many people do this. but i would get mad if they are making fun of cancer victims, but they are not.
@mmmmmarcus im not going to lose my temper right ,r u english ,i have not looked ,if u were ,this fun being made of this terrible desease is considered very bad taste by virtually everyone here ,i watch comedy ,i like dark topics but this subject no comedian here ever goes near ,i know of only 1[ pheonix nights episode ]and peter kay part writer actor , dropped the word cancer as offensive the fact ive got cancer has little to do with my disgust ,this is wrong very wrong
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF I like how you hide behind your cancer shield. With such a disgusting attitude, you seem to deserve you affliction. That being said, i'd rather not clutter this awesome thread by bickering with some pussy that gave in to cancer.
@mmmmmarcus i wish it were you hiding behind your cancer, u may hopefully have it without knowing pal ,you ,mother or father ,1 will ,get it hopefully a very aggressive type ,i dont live in a fantasy world of drawing stupid halfassed pictures of dragon type shit ,at your age i had bought my second house and made £314,000 profit from my first ,not a stupid dreamer of an asshole as u appear 2 be ,i win everytime as i win now with a retard such as yourself goodbye hope 2see you or parents in hell
thums up if KryptonKyote sounds like an idiotic red neck when he claims that various family members of Vire70's family were either "screwed by an emu" or "raped by a chicken", and retorts by calling Vire 70 a "Shitty fingered shit head," then proceeds to exclaim "HAHAH SHIT :p"
Seeing people here are so easily offended by such most obvious satire, I see why America is slowly being choked to death by political correctness. Loosen up, people.
this is disgusting, u shouldn't just be friends with ppl with cancer for ur own benefit. ur supposed to be there for THEM, not for ur own good. how dare they tell ppl to jus be friends with cancer victims so THEY become more fit or wtever. its sick. how wud you feel if you found out the only reason your friend was there for u in chemo and stuff was because they wanted to do charity runs to make themself for healthy? ppl like that are dishonest and frankly sickening.
@Vire70 You're going off track there now.. I can obviously see you're an uptight nerd with a sarcastic taste of loneliness in yourself other can comment shit all of what you think....
Another Massive World War could kill everyone and evrything so it'd be a bigger killer than the Sun so you just got pwned noob :)
Technically IT IS 2010 so you just got double Pwned... don't feel sad you just got owned.. you probably always do.. :)
P.S. can't wait for you to go nerdy pschyco on me haha.. :P
Yadda yadda, keep talking out your arse. Future predictions do not equal to the present, it's as simple as that. Yes, it is 2010, that doesn't mean cancer is automatically the number one killer now. It means statistically by the end of the year it may be - if you are to be trusted, I've heard no such thing myself.
Either way, does it really matter? This video was a joke.... lighten the fuck up.
@Vire70 Says the so-sure bitchy correspondent of lazy ass terms of use. The Present has everything to do with the Future you dumb piece of cow shit. So if an asteroid was coming to Earth in about 20 seconds and you were standing next to a Shelter you wouldn't go in it because the future doesn't matter?...
Obviously I would go in the shelter. But I wouldn't declare asteroids as the number one killer on the planet as the asteroid approaches, because even though it may be tomorrow or next week, in the FUTURE, in the present it would NOT be as it hasn't happened yet.
some things just should not be made a joke. My friend died at 24 years of with skin cancer, and my girlfriends sister has leukemia. . . not a funny topic.
i like the onion but stay away from peoples real life misfortune when they are near death or already dead, its just not funny.
At least the "befriend a diseased person" is a very good message to pass through. If it weren't for the "the more sick your friend gets, the healthier you get" part this would be a great video to show to kids.
absolute and utter brilliance. how many times have we heard "think about the people in africa!" when things are going badly for us. should make a video "poverty in africa heightening the spirits of lower-class americans"... i swear pure genius
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
what is the point of running for a charity. youre paying someone just so u can run down a public street with a bunch of other ppl? running is usually free ya know...
of course it is a fake, but it has a kind of thuth on it: If you really have someone close to you who has let's say... a kind of lung cancer for example, you will see his suffer and pain, so in a way you'll be aware that cigaretes smoking could do the same to you, so yes it's a kind real message.
What they mean is wrong, is that the people who get healthier makes the cancer patients feel bad. It's like "Im in the best condition ever", would you like to hear that if your were dying from cancer?
why not? Hurrah for him! I would feel somewhat sad that I can't do things he or she can, but if I helped them get aware of their lack of good life quality, why the hell not? At least I'm being useful!
even though it's not a serious video, it still sounds horrible. using a friend just to get into better shape? even i don't find that funny and i am usually a humorous guy. :/
No !!!! I saw that it was actually a piece of rubbish that was blown by the wind !! How can you be so hearrtless not to pay proper attention to such an IMPORTANT piece of news footage ! ! ! !
this isn't nearly as good as the "Sony releases this stupid fucking piece of shit that doesn't do a goddamn thing its fucking supposed to" now that in my opinion was the BEST onion satire ever
Cancer is very sad. But, they aren't satirizing cancer. They're making a comment about all of the exsersize-oriented fundraisers. *shrug* I didn't like this one as much as some of their others, but it's not that bad.
Well I guess for the terminal patients too it's nice to have friends taking care of you while you are dying.
Tamizushi 21 hours ago
I love all the funny fake videos onion make, but lets be real this one is not funny at.
Mary13yearsold 6 days ago
@Mary13yearsold
You are gay.
JoeKun10 4 days ago
Rome around local hospital lookin to make terminal friends must be the moral
h0rnd0917 2 months ago
i hope a friend of mine will get cancer...!
TheYouwontgetit 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
sadly no friend of mine has cancer... but i have high hopes about one of them - he really looks sick...
TheYouwontgetit 3 months ago
They need to rename this to
"Chinkilla walks into a hospital"
CarlTrooper 4 months ago
i honestly cant laugh at this... kinda want to, but cant.
ruzzzler 5 months ago
Comment removed
ruzzzler 5 months ago
And the morale of this story is:
When your life sucks, use the suffering of others to lift your own spirits.
Because there's nothing more uplifting then comparing yourself to those you (or many others) preceive as less then you are in worth.
vjm3 6 months ago
That news reporter is totally Donald Trump!
kingben821 6 months ago
I feel terrible for laughing...
GabberGurl1223 6 months ago
My dad has survived cancer and I find this hysterical.
marsneedstowels 7 months ago
@marsneedstowels But would you if he had died?
VindictivePheasant 7 months ago
Its amazing how right this actually is.
KalamitiMusic 9 months ago
So uh this is kinda right... I do have cancer and my friends r doing a two mile walk so uh...
adkgirlsince01 9 months ago
hêh_í_féël_sÓ_lÖNÊly_tÕdÄÿ
LonelyaaStevenej206 9 months ago
holy crap! Carbondale?! I was born in that town! I thought that it was some obscure town in the middle of nowhere that nobody knew about! Hahahaha.
timidemerald 10 months ago
337 707-5417
Call and voice your opinion! Get EVERYONE a best friend with cancer TODAY! Cancer for them, Clarity for you, Hope for tomorrow.
22irishusmc22 10 months ago
i thought this would be about statistics etc. then i remembered: its the Onion.
TheFourGuysVideo 10 months ago
813 672-3419
I have been VOLUNTEERING with the Cure Drive almost 20 years. Cured my own herpes - 2 kinds - HSV-1 and 2-- got it in '66 -- 28 years of outbreaks. I have helped people cure cancer, Graves' disease, lupus, CFS, fibromyalgia, FLU, many others - the main movie on CureDrive's Channel is me helping someone cure LEUKEMIA.
You learn IMMUNICS from FREE TUTORIALS at CureDrive(dot)ORG. Call me - I will help you - I'm Bayard Henry Barnes on Facebook.
CureDrive 10 months ago
@CureDrive Hey just because you stopped having outbreaks doesn't mean it's gone...
philnoll 10 months ago
@SuperiorDeity That's what they *want* you to think....
KapStuf 10 months ago
"laughter is the best medicine" ;)
asuna07neros 10 months ago
12% of people sleeping on buses and subways are actually dead. hahahah
bhk5437 11 months ago
only the onion can make us laugh at something this sad and the make us feel laughing
you guys are the best
TheBrokenchalk13 11 months ago 2
Hmmm... how can I give cancer to one of my friends?
blizard0717 11 months ago
Sad thing is that its probably true
thekillerwaldo 11 months ago
Fight Club anyone????
Spardeth 11 months ago
I've lost 60 pounds and finally got an 8 pack since I found out my friend has a tumor. I was even asked to model in an upcoming issue of Mens Health. I'm going to dedicate the modeling session to him. :)
gobo760 1 year ago
I'm sure we've all seen and laughed at the people who don't know about The Onion and takes the news seriously, but if I didn't know about them, I would probably believe this story.
YusufAlaseeri 1 year ago
Not a big fan of this one, never really found cancer humorous.
bassmzero 1 year ago
get your asses off that computer and find a buddy with cancer. NOW!!!!!!!!!! lol
plowboy9991 1 year ago 9
he almost runs over a squirrel at 0:48
MW2Gal 1 year ago 2
@MW2Gal Squirrels and rabbits do that all the time in the city... do you need a friend with cancer?
klutterkicker 11 months ago
he almost runs over a squirrel at 0:48
MW2Gal 1 year ago
Lol, i cant believe when i first saw one of the TheOnion Vids i thought it was real, until i looked at the comments, before i was like "wow the media is sick" but when i found out it was all staged i was like "oh crap i cant believe they tricked me :)" and now i laugh at these videos, their so original
DaHuntsman1 1 year ago
this..this.....
is probally the one thing made by onion that makes sense..
VodkaAndKush 1 year ago 7
your friend's aids is good for your health - unless you 'befriend' him
RomZruleTeHworld 1 year ago
lmfao 0:59
angeldust171 1 year ago
If you don't appreciate humour about cancer, you shouldn't be clicking these well-labeled videos. Life is short; watch crap you enjoy!
More importantly, is anyone else pissed that the Bush/Putin joke in the ticker was clipped halfway? You should be!
Inediblehulk 1 year ago
sick bastards the people help others with cancer not take the piss out iof them u should be ashamed
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF How does this "take the piss out of them"? My dad dies of cancer last year and my sister who is very overweight ran (walked) a half marathon to raise money. I find this funny and she finds this funny as it is true.
WillShakespeare2007 1 year ago
@WillShakespeare2007 do you not think its in bad taste [ keep it up after thier friends die ]at the end ,its saying theres no hope ,there is ,im not going to die ,it seems wrong to belittle the great work by real helpers ,not just someone who wants a good workout should go to an oncology ward ,maybe im too sensitive ,theres another man doesnt believe he has cancer [thats a real obnoxious one ]
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF Sure it is in bad taste but it is not being negative towards people that have cancer or people that help raise money. At the most you could say it is trivializing it but I think it is just a joke. They are not really commenting on anything. I think one should only worry about humor if it supports racist, sexist or other discriminatory views. This does not discriminate or put anyone down it is just gallows humor.
WillShakespeare2007 1 year ago
@WillShakespeare2007well i can see what your saying but its trivialising ,when they say the more they deteriorate the fitter he gets ,then hed like to find someone with lukeamia so he could have a swim ,its belittling a terrible desease ,i suppose its one of the few subjects left that has a very fine line of bad taste but not offensive ,what did you think of the other vid ,i see you subbd to onion ?
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF I found that difficult to watch as my own dad was in denial and for 6 months. He would not even sort out his affairs when the nurse told him straight out he had less than a week. It made it really hard as we are stuck with a half built holiday home in the US that we can not afford to finish or sell and ...well lots of problems. I also think the two videos about missing children being raped is not a funny topic but I understand the satire. The rest I think are very funny.
WillShakespeare2007 1 year ago
@WillShakespeare2007 oh sorry to hear that mate very sorry ,if mine comes back then i will make a wiill ,i should have enough time ,i suppose we both agree theres some [i hadnt watched those ,when i see onoin i swich over u see ]not very nice ones ,i suppose this one is nt the worst ,maybe even if its in bad taste it may save someone one day as it may make someone think ,bye
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
This is so true lol
TheCactoid 1 year ago
rofl at squirrel :49
Socrates271 1 year ago
If I ever get cancer please somebody ask me to do a skit like this because I f-ing hate the politically correct crowd.
marsneedstowels 1 year ago
@Thephsychoticscyth369 WTF u talkin bout? Respects rednecks, they have amazing creativity and are able to have fun with what they have :)
DancingDruidStudio 1 year ago
thumbs up if you hate rednecks!
ThePsychoticScyth396 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@ThePsychoticScyth396
thumbs up your ass :)
TotalGraffiti 1 year ago
people need to loosen up. they are not making fun of people who have cancer, they are making fun of the people who use cancer victims. this is sad but true, many people do this. but i would get mad if they are making fun of cancer victims, but they are not.
many people can not take a joke now a days...
bubbybubbubble 1 year ago
I didn't find the funny?.... this one actually seemed real.
goatmilk222 1 year ago
we should all be lookin for a few brain tumor patients as our friends... it wil make our lifes more convenient
6I6Am6A9red9Pill9 1 year ago
This is... harsh. I know if I had leukemia or cancer I wouldnt apreciate people laughing about it.
lollalot 1 year ago
sick fucking assholes nothing is too low 4 you ,youll be telling jew jokes next
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF Whats wrong with jokes aimed at the world's leading cause of suffering? =D
mmmmmarcus 1 year ago
@mmmmmarcus im not going to lose my temper right ,r u english ,i have not looked ,if u were ,this fun being made of this terrible desease is considered very bad taste by virtually everyone here ,i watch comedy ,i like dark topics but this subject no comedian here ever goes near ,i know of only 1[ pheonix nights episode ]and peter kay part writer actor , dropped the word cancer as offensive the fact ive got cancer has little to do with my disgust ,this is wrong very wrong
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF Wow, really? I should be your friend then. i could use some new abs.
mmmmmarcus 1 year ago
@mmmmmarcus Can you type in english please, what are abs ,Muscles in chest .??
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF I like how you hide behind your cancer shield. With such a disgusting attitude, you seem to deserve you affliction. That being said, i'd rather not clutter this awesome thread by bickering with some pussy that gave in to cancer.
mmmmmarcus 1 year ago
@mmmmmarcus i wish it were you hiding behind your cancer, u may hopefully have it without knowing pal ,you ,mother or father ,1 will ,get it hopefully a very aggressive type ,i dont live in a fantasy world of drawing stupid halfassed pictures of dragon type shit ,at your age i had bought my second house and made £314,000 profit from my first ,not a stupid dreamer of an asshole as u appear 2 be ,i win everytime as i win now with a retard such as yourself goodbye hope 2see you or parents in hell
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
thums up if KryptonKyote sounds like an idiotic red neck when he claims that various family members of Vire70's family were either "screwed by an emu" or "raped by a chicken", and retorts by calling Vire 70 a "Shitty fingered shit head," then proceeds to exclaim "HAHAH SHIT :p"
Calvert1212 1 year ago 2
the onion actually spoke some sense =0
llamawithamullet 1 year ago
I smell smoke, Krypton just got buuuuurned!
percythepug 1 year ago
LOL!
Vire70 1 year ago
I think this is the only Onion to actually make sense.
supernerbil 1 year ago
Seeing people here are so easily offended by such most obvious satire, I see why America is slowly being choked to death by political correctness. Loosen up, people.
Feaisian 1 year ago 4
this is disgusting, u shouldn't just be friends with ppl with cancer for ur own benefit. ur supposed to be there for THEM, not for ur own good. how dare they tell ppl to jus be friends with cancer victims so THEY become more fit or wtever. its sick. how wud you feel if you found out the only reason your friend was there for u in chemo and stuff was because they wanted to do charity runs to make themself for healthy? ppl like that are dishonest and frankly sickening.
xvixxenx 1 year ago
@xvixxenx this isn't a real news channel, it's satire
ashestoyoursoul 1 year ago
@xvixxenx Oh my god, it's just a video! Calm down.
Wikipedia "Onion News Network" xD
egg246 1 year ago
@egg246 Lol I know, I just enjoy seeing peoples response to my extreme stupidity =] Yeahh I got bored...:/
xvixxenx 1 year ago
@xvixxenx a good way to make money is befriend someone who is dying from cancer and be nice to them so they put you in their will :)
jeezuschryst 1 year ago
This is sick!! :)
Prinzmetal49 1 year ago
I know this is meant as a joke but it is rather true..
JODQ11 1 year ago 5
lmfao
i love this.
i love that they took it there though, people are getting upset too. OH NO DONT MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE WITH CANCER
lmfao
keir193 1 year ago
CANCER!!! lololololololol
the only funnier thing than cancer is AIDS. and the lolocaust
LemonSkull 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
okay this is a bit too far now.. it's not funny anymore.. Cancer's the world's top killer
KryptonKyote 1 year ago
@KryptonKyote
Lol, no it isn't.
Vire70 1 year ago
@Vire70 in 2010 Cancer will be the world's leading top killer, overtaking heart disease. Moron.
KryptonKyote 1 year ago
@KryptonKyote
Is ≠ Will be
So no, moron, you're wrong. I could just as easily say the sun is the number one killer - because in 3-4 billion years from now it will be!
(assuming life on earth still exists)
Vire70 1 year ago
@Vire70 You're going off track there now.. I can obviously see you're an uptight nerd with a sarcastic taste of loneliness in yourself other can comment shit all of what you think....
Another Massive World War could kill everyone and evrything so it'd be a bigger killer than the Sun so you just got pwned noob :)
Technically IT IS 2010 so you just got double Pwned... don't feel sad you just got owned.. you probably always do.. :)
P.S. can't wait for you to go nerdy pschyco on me haha.. :P
KryptonKyote 1 year ago
@KryptonKyote
Yadda yadda, keep talking out your arse. Future predictions do not equal to the present, it's as simple as that. Yes, it is 2010, that doesn't mean cancer is automatically the number one killer now. It means statistically by the end of the year it may be - if you are to be trusted, I've heard no such thing myself.
Either way, does it really matter? This video was a joke.... lighten the fuck up.
Vire70 1 year ago
@Vire70 Says the so-sure bitchy correspondent of lazy ass terms of use. The Present has everything to do with the Future you dumb piece of cow shit. So if an asteroid was coming to Earth in about 20 seconds and you were standing next to a Shelter you wouldn't go in it because the future doesn't matter?...
KryptonKyote 1 year ago
@KryptonKyote
You're still going on with this shit?
Obviously I would go in the shelter. But I wouldn't declare asteroids as the number one killer on the planet as the asteroid approaches, because even though it may be tomorrow or next week, in the FUTURE, in the present it would NOT be as it hasn't happened yet.
It's really fucking simple you dumb fuck.
Vire70 1 year ago
@Vire70 You're a shitty-fingered shithead.. your mom got screwed by an emu and your dad got raped by a chicken.
HAHAH SHIT :p
KryptonKyote 1 year ago
@KryptonKyote
What a witty response. Just keep insulting me, all it does is tell me you've realized you're wrong.
Vire70 1 year ago
@Vire70 you faaaaiiillll HAHAHAAA
KryptonKyote 1 year ago
@KryptonKyote and its also an astrological sign? amazing isnt it..
MaxDorval 1 year ago
i can see the point the Onion are trying to make, but PLEASE don't push your amazing satire cancer victims
anyway, everything else the Onion does is so EPIC!
RandomMan1999 1 year ago
some things just should not be made a joke. My friend died at 24 years of with skin cancer, and my girlfriends sister has leukemia. . . not a funny topic.
i like the onion but stay away from peoples real life misfortune when they are near death or already dead, its just not funny.
ooosteve 1 year ago
Comment removed
Halobenzene 1 year ago
Comment removed
Halobenzene 1 year ago
0:48 - 0:53 lmaoO idk why thats funny but it is lol i feel retarded for laughing at that
GoldenChildFFt 1 year ago
but if it works
bilyisbored92 1 year ago
"I would like to find a friend with leukemia. I know they do a swim" pure greatness
ctirado 2 years ago 20
At least the "befriend a diseased person" is a very good message to pass through. If it weren't for the "the more sick your friend gets, the healthier you get" part this would be a great video to show to kids.
jackmcslay 2 years ago 2
i am feeling bad for laughing!
Adenylzyklase 2 years ago 12
im healthy you guys not!
the best way to brag about your health in front of these sick weirdos
Adeebster 2 years ago
take a joke none of these videos r serious
Marinucci121 2 years ago
this actually sounds somewhat true...
iIikecheez 2 years ago 3
not that funny actually
anonymous668 2 years ago
Oh my god i just had a revelation!
bleached102 2 years ago 2
absolute and utter brilliance. how many times have we heard "think about the people in africa!" when things are going badly for us. should make a video "poverty in africa heightening the spirits of lower-class americans"... i swear pure genius
satire will save this stupid world
junkyassmonkey 2 years ago 168
i totally agree..
GKid51892 2 years ago
Holy crap.... This actually makes sense.
jxkiller5 2 years ago 154
"LA hospital accused of dumping homeless patients on skid row pledges to not let anyone find out next time"
lol
JonahDavids 2 years ago 2
I caught that too.
The Onion really makes you feel bad for laughing.
GIMMEADOLLAR1 2 years ago 8
For once the Onion makes something that could be plausable.... :)
TilleyFedora 2 years ago 3
dude.. u guys u guys onion news is fake. Its supposed to be comedy
Medallion702 2 years ago 2
This comment has received too many negative votes show
this is fucked up in so many ways
"i would really like to find a friend with leukaemia"
casenater93 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
god damnit i hate that reporter i just want to punch him in his god damn nose 1:08
thomaskul 2 years ago
'after my friend dies i'd like to fine a friend with luekiemia, i hear the swim' ROFL!
The7SOULS 2 years ago 12
This comment has received too many negative votes show
what is the point of running for a charity. youre paying someone just so u can run down a public street with a bunch of other ppl? running is usually free ya know...
drshields1988 2 years ago
of course it is a fake, but it has a kind of thuth on it: If you really have someone close to you who has let's say... a kind of lung cancer for example, you will see his suffer and pain, so in a way you'll be aware that cigaretes smoking could do the same to you, so yes it's a kind real message.
But the video is funny thou
Anton77bln 2 years ago 4
I don't see whats wrong with this...the patients get a new friend, and the people get in shape.
Seriously, both parties are happy, so what if it's not genuine?(I know this video is satire, I'm juts responding to those who think this is "evil")
skulleton 2 years ago
What they mean is wrong, is that the people who get healthier makes the cancer patients feel bad. It's like "Im in the best condition ever", would you like to hear that if your were dying from cancer?
johnmighty5 2 years ago
of course not, thats why they call this satire. Onion makes worse shit, yet people only complain about this. what the fuck...
skulleton 2 years ago 2
why not? Hurrah for him! I would feel somewhat sad that I can't do things he or she can, but if I helped them get aware of their lack of good life quality, why the hell not? At least I'm being useful!
akissy 1 year ago
People are so fucking stupid. My fucking uncle died of cancer, that doesn't stop me from enjoying satire. It could be allot worse.
skulleton 2 years ago 3
@skulleton I can say that Im not one of those people. I find this hilarious too.
johnmighty5 1 year ago 3
lol 999 ratings
cableguyskater 2 years ago
sad =(
lvenick09 2 years ago
i feel shity for laughing at that
guitarpro001 2 years ago 5
I know what you mean, but still... lol
kai101m5 2 years ago
yea this is horrible but quite tru
millionairejh 2 years ago 3
HAHAHA!!!!! after he passes im gonna try to find a person with lukemia, ive heard they do a swim
hellraizr666 2 years ago 2
this is totally badass.
metronome087 2 years ago
So get to know a friend has cancer just because you want to get into better shape? :/
Sadodi 2 years ago
It is a lol video...
Elilie101 2 years ago
even though it's not a serious video, it still sounds horrible. using a friend just to get into better shape? even i don't find that funny and i am usually a humorous guy. :/
Sadodi 2 years ago
both people benefit, so whats wrong?
skulleton 2 years ago
This is a bit of downer...
TomwithOnions 2 years ago
wicked
u2ber87 2 years ago
i cant beleive i laffed at that! thats horrible!
cincynj85 2 years ago
0:50 he almost stepped on a squirrel
TheGreatGE 2 years ago
No !!!! I saw that it was actually a piece of rubbish that was blown by the wind !! How can you be so hearrtless not to pay proper attention to such an IMPORTANT piece of news footage ! ! ! !
m1s73r4nd3rs0n 2 years ago
cant he leave now? rofllllllll
xaviourte 2 years ago
the surgeon general urges those who have adopted the healthier lifestyle to keep them up, after their friends die....
oh my LooL
Thisisthefuture100 2 years ago 4
this isn't nearly as good as the "Sony releases this stupid fucking piece of shit that doesn't do a goddamn thing its fucking supposed to" now that in my opinion was the BEST onion satire ever
RougeJonin 2 years ago 7
i find these usually funny but this one i just cant laugh at, its just not right. i have a friend with cancer and im fat as shit!
GregCawthorne 2 years ago
You just made me shit my pants
C1t1z3n3r4s3d 2 years ago 3
hahahaha, 2nd best onion ever.
ExplodeNZ 2 years ago
wats the best?
om12345k 2 years ago
the concentric circles one :)
/watch?v=8wHMaJ6AtNs
ExplodeNZ 2 years ago 2
haha...i had cancer and I still find this funny.
twigster231 2 years ago
For some reason this is one Onion episode I can't really laugh about... they're still great though.
chewbuggars 2 years ago
wow. The Onion is crazy.lol
kakompo 2 years ago
its really stupid how people DONT realize that this isnt real news.
mystsoldierify 2 years ago 2
did he die?
cabose1994 2 years ago
keep moving bub..that spam wont work here
pobert06 2 years ago
lol u dum fuck, why would i still be their?
cabose1994 2 years ago
haha you really are stupid..you dont know what you are saying
pobert06 2 years ago
lulz idk its like u sayn omg wtf duck and then me sayin lolz!!! that no duk that uniduckagon (ill send u pick of my mythical creeacher) lolz
cabose1994 2 years ago
Oh wow 6 minute miles! Haha, I can only dream of that...
gotank 2 years ago
I did that, once.
nukenate 2 years ago
i used to soke 10 packs and now i smoke 11 becuse i walked for cancer! LOL
snakeman32212 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
wow! I suggest you healyourselfgently what other way is true?
fellowfallen 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
it's hilarious and it's kinda true! XD
onyxragdoll 2 years ago
How does he run that far if he smokes a pack a day? His lungs should be screwed up by now.
cluemasterx7 2 years ago
the onion is a parody news station
nothing they say are real
its just a comedy
SVTSWeb 2 years ago 2
um a pack a day isnt much m y dad smokes 2 packs aday
WhiteShadowGod 2 years ago
is it a contest to you or something?
mystsoldierify 2 years ago
lol god p[oint and actually he quit not but a couple weeks ago lol
WhiteShadowGod 2 years ago
My grandad used to smoke 100 cigarettes a day before he quit
jarfilli 2 years ago
Gotta lOve the Onion this is hilarious..man soo fucked up
Ominous09 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
this could actually be real. it shouldnt be spoofed. cancer is quite sad, and a very serious matter.
ryanowns5 2 years ago
Holy shit! Someone get this information to the Governor right away!
lumburgapalooza 2 years ago
Don't take thing's so seriously, learn to laugh.
StrongGaia 2 years ago 4
i laughed, its just kinda sad.
ryanowns5 2 years ago
Cancer is very sad. But, they aren't satirizing cancer. They're making a comment about all of the exsersize-oriented fundraisers. *shrug* I didn't like this one as much as some of their others, but it's not that bad.
WhoMattersAnyway 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
u guys all ned 2 suck dick
kthx.
zythustcsexplicit 2 years ago
i agree they could do better
alex49carson 2 years ago
I bet that this story could literally be statistically supported.
taintitwonderfull 2 years ago 29
you'd be surprised hom many time the onion "got it right" when you look back at articles a few years back.
yumsalad 2 years ago 2
I GOTTA FIND A BUDD