What your man is REALLY Saying: TonyaTko Speaks on avoiding common mistakes in Relationships

[Sandbar136]

I love your videos, I just discovered you today, I've been watching one after the other and haven't disagreed with anything you've said, but one thing. I disowned my mother years ago, but that doesn't mean that I will disown someone I love. Sometimes we have to disown people who are toxic. People that allowed you to be molested as a child, who tried to kill you as a kid. Who said and did terrible things all your life. So there are exceptions, which I'm sure you'll agree with. :)

[051290ma]

I never got that neither when they say opposites attract. That is truly a myth.

[Twotonetmw]

Tonya I commented on this topic on your fb today please make sure you read this/ Thank you I love you!

[JuggzMarley]

if a man would cut his mom off there might just be a valid reason, so u really judge em off who he chooses to interact with. fair to say?

[ladiistar106]

i love this , you really got me thinking and now i know whats best for me ;)

thanks

[TheMellena]

Great advice. A lot of women don't know their worth/value. I see women all around me trying to fix a man up or change him. Luv you

[QueenReina2010]

I Love you! you opening my eyes and my heart!

You are saving me where have you been all my life.

God has blessed you with a gift and i am blessed that i have found you!

Thank you!! HUGS!

[QueenReina2010]

I Love you! you opening my eyes and my heart!

You are saving me where have you been all my life.

God has blessed you with a gift and i am blessed that i have found you!

Thank you!! HUGS!

[Msneverletitgo]

oh my goshhh i love youuu :) your so detailistic and real. i love your power and words

[Daniellebaby19]

If the mother of your child is a female dog then you are too-love that. Kudos to you for not continuing to mess with him after seeing how he treated her.

[valyavalya]

the way she explains makes so much more sense

[flick2flick]

She swear she knows stuff about men but she dont know a damn thing. Me being a man ...women youre better off getting advice from a male friend.

[REALG38]

you are so beautiful here i love your lips.....

[beennamedIcy]

Get back 2 basics!

[itchychinaman]

she looks like a monkey

[AshikaMetisse]

@itchychinaman, go itch yaself somewhere else with your ignorant nonsense comment.

-A

[omorico]

you talk like you really care for all these people you don't know..it's unbelievaby amazing. you have a beautiful spirit. and i love to you views.

[MzAdrien05]

@ 4:37.....OMG AMEN!!!! U betta say it!

[SoLady1]

Wow! You are right on it girl! Love the vid!

[CJPlayer3026]

I Hope For more women to take your advice and to have your qualities, but you are a ginuine SUPERSTAR. More on relationships please.CJP.

[MrStormE]

you know i got a video response for this 1 TKO!

[doctoralissa123]

Tanya you're talking some serious ish tonight! I feel the love sis. Keep going. Plus, love the eyeliner.

[Neutralification]

I'll listen to my man (which I don't have one at this time because of choice) when ever he has something (of interest or speaks with common sense) to talk about. Thanks for sharing!

[misssheshe]

T

To

Ton

Tony

Tonya

TonyaT

TonyaTk

TonyaTko

LOVE YA!

[peanutandcocobutter]

I agree with almost everything...The estranged family senerio....give the person the benefit of the doubt....the family might be HIGHLY DYSFUNCTIONAL and God has blessed the person to be removed from them....In time if he/she feel safe with you they will share it

[TrueCityGirl]

Dang, I wish I had watched this yesterday. Maybe I could have avoided a mistake I made today.

[1DjRadeoConscyous]

i think people just go for looks over character.

[ReviveUK]

*5 vid...I think a lot of people are either so lonely, desparado or lacking in self love that they refuse to see the truth of their potential partner and don the rose tinted specs or minimalise their failings...(inc myself in my earlier years in that scenario)...read a beautiful quote this week...that a woman's heart should be so hidden in the Lord (or whatever higher power you believe in) that a man must seek him first to find you!

[gunlover2010]

Tonya ,ur looking so lovely ...

my wife don't listen to me,i can't blame her as i am an idiot...lolz

good vid..!!!!

[1beauttifly1]

This was my message from God today:

... that it's your heart that knows who loves you, not your ears or eyes. Listen to the words, and you can be fooled. Look at the actions, and you can be fooled. Feel deeply into your heart, and then you will know the truth. Who makes your heart soar now? Well, what are you waiting for?

You are always right on target!

[Nzurilisha]

Teach!!!!!!!!!!

[MeNoi38]

Mya Angelou said it best..when a person shows you who they are...BELIEVE THEM!

[DuDeRaVeSaGe]

Sexy :D

[SPARKWISDOM]

"The way that you treat anybody is the way they treat you!" "Animals mate with like animals" TRUE! I listen very carefully how people I'm around talk about AND treat others. Small people talk about people! Girl if I could have warped back to the 90's and heard this!!! DAG! Well said, Ms. Tonya TKO, I HEAR you now!

[QuanSai]

When you leaned up to the camera in the beginning of the video, I almost kissed the screen.

[tp3reloaded80]

@Quansai lol i bet you did! @Tonya u got 'em going girl! lol

[salwalishis911k]

girl.. as you already know i don't mess any of your video.. and this is the best right now.. wow girl.. you right.. i been doing what you say with my husband.. as i already told you NIgerian men they are very aggressive and i know now how i handle my husband very well.. ever since i start speaking my own opinion and what i agree or don't agree or treatment towards as well as i am to him.. i honestly see that my strongest person in this relationship.. Thank you Tonya..

[henkboorsma]

I am a real fan!

[masterdeano]

i have high respects for tonyaTko, because the fact she says what everyone else feels, and it is frustrating in relationships and ur partners, so show them this, and show them you aint the only person who thinks the same, theres many people.

xx

[masterdeano]

it works for both sides, some very great points i have to say, and it takes 2 to tango, there isnt 1 without the other, think about the other person in there shoes, dont express what you feel or think, do both, children think and then feel and then act on what they know.

[MissJazz86]

Oh TKO, your words ring truth! im going to pay more attention to my man and see whats happens, your a true inspiration, cannot wait until the Relationship week of videos, going to be a treasure trove of advice!

[ladyvm123]

Thank you for sharing that info.

[realizeth3lies]

AMEN. I love this woman.

[RNU4Life]

Great advice, but what I want to know is how you pulled off a 28 plus minute video on YouTube? Damn you're good! LOL

[bigjerms12]

I love you too ms tonya. I'm a 25 year old college graduating senior(music major clarinetist) from the hood and I have a little pressure and do good about being inpirational and someone to look up to. Sometimes I want to help and get more involved with students but as you said I'm not trained to do certain things and Im not a psycologist. I feel exactly what you say about how someone make things up in there imagination about who I am and like you said ultimately I'm just responsible for others.

[mskemmieslim]

u hit some very valid points......

hug me hug me hug me!!!!! lol i luv u gurl!

[DJON405]

great post.....i watched this on facebook first. You gave us some real wisdom

[MzCh3vy]

love tha outfit looking very beautiful ! :)

[Tebbles07]

You always have the BEST advice... I just adore your channel. Its so positive and uplifting..

Ur a blessing Ms. TonyaTKO

[CHEVY2005AZ]

hey TKO

I thought it would be the opposite like us guys (like me of what iam about to say) listen to the ladies

[imanisankofa]

Good advice. Good vid.

[Sallyakerti]

Your my inspiration!Love u.

Thanks for sharing this amazing messege Tonya.

xoxo.

[HoneyBee8at]

i kno thats right. you give such good advice and great hugs!! but unfortunately or i had to end my own relationship before i even sat down to see your video. and part of the reason is because of what your saying.... i was making that person lazy and it just wasnt right and i knew becauz i could feel it.... and i had to be logical and help the both of us by ending it on good terms. thanx tho!

[anke3000]

erhh...i think u should redo this video cuz the video and the audio dont line up & it hurts my head :/ lol

still loving your advice.

[monimom3]

Great advise as always!

[spareld]

girl you is so own about this topic I have to favorite it.

[toysvoice]

You have some very wise points. Maybe you should be a motivational speaker or relationship counselor. There are a lot of women out there that could truly use some help and you seem to truly care about people. There may be a new degree waiting for you. IDK. That's may be a new career. Have you ever thought of that? I hope so.

[mindyourbizok]

Can you please do videos with more volume? I raised the volume on my computer to the highest and I can barely hear you.

[TonyaTko]

Hey MindYo, I stated in the beginnning of this vid that I was having microphone problem. Soowwy :-(

-Tko

[withlovefrida]

THANK YOU TonyaTko YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL PERSON.

I have a partner for 4 years now, but im not sure if he knows me yet..it upset me..and he doesnt share some of my values.. Why do I love him soooo much...

[nanodances]

haha i sent that last comment right before you said relationship week part 2 is coming up. ahhh omg i can't wait! I'm def gonna try to listen more. good advice.

[NvrSettle]

Do you have decent man now who is worth listening to? If you do, take him off the endangered species list.

[robertisjay]

i want you so mad

[neobrown81]

You look pretty in this video.

[Crystal110987]

I had a relationship once where the man was opposite personality than me and was into opposite things and it did NOT work out at all..whoever made up the saying "opposites attract was wack!!!" This guy i was with ended up beating me, cheating on me and constantly degrading me. He was very controlling too. I still am working on my self confidence after 3 years of being away from this man. Opposites do not attract! I watch my husband closely in how he treats everyone. Im very pleased with him :)

[Lakishia]

I want to applaud you for being a smart female and leaving!

[RomiEzzo]

I'm glad you've found the right person, Crystal. I always say that if you ever get less than you want in a relationship, you should leave ASAP (before you or your "special someone" gets hurt more); physically, emotionally, etc.

[Crystal110987]

Thank you, Im very glad i found him too! I shouldve been smarter and left that man I was with but felt like i deserved the bad treatment, I know better now and wont fall into that again! You get more wisdom as you get older thankfully!

[RomiEzzo]

I LOVED TKO's advice on how opposites don't attract, but COMPLEMENTS do! Some people need to work on certain characteristics, and being in love with a person makes you a better person yourself. One of the many ways of defining love is when one makes the other person feel like a better person.

[lavinder11]

Opposites do attract, but only for a while until the lust wears off. Typically, your opposite isn't actually your opposite - you just think they are because of appearance or first impressions.

[Crystal110987]

This guy i didnt think was my opposite at first.. you know that hunny moon stage, then it wore off and I found out the real him! He WAS my opposite and out to do damage.

[lavinder11]

Damn. I'm glad you survived.

[holmique]

I so agree with you darling. We have to pay attention so we can tweak, fix or leave or relationships. Our physical features speak a universal language.

Nuff Luv!

Mo

[290aua]

I agree, "compliment" attract and has a tendency to last!

[KateyJW]

i only listen to me!

[TonyaTko]

You OBVIOUSLY didnt watch the Video Katey...

-Tko

[brain96969]

KateyJW, you remind of Echo.

In Greek mythology, Echo was a mountain nymph who loved her own voice.

[lavinder11]

... She didn't love her own voice, per se. She was basically punished for aiding Zeus in his philandering ways.

[brain96969]

lavinder11, instead of punishing Echo, Hera should have come to earth and had some fun herself.

[lavinder11]

I know. That's what I would have done. But you know there was a double standard when the ladies had their way with the mortal men. Oh well. :D

[brain96969]

lavinder11, the trick in life is to break out of the box others have created for us.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@brain96969 I agree! Break out of the box!

[RomiEzzo]

I don't understand why you only listen to you, Katey. If you only listen to you, how ignorant is that? Yes, you learn from experience, but you can also learn from people who have been in a situation you haven't been in.

Suppose you believe in something, and someone disagrees with you. If you can't listen to another side of a story or listen to someone else's perspectives on things, communication skills will disappear.

(Of course, this is meaningless to you, since you only listen to yourself)

[RomiEzzo]

And by the way, no man could EVER like someone who only listens to themselves and/or wants everything done their way.

(Take it from a guy like me)