Report - 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic

[nerdyusername003]

The Onion is amazing.

[k0b0yash1]

seems legit

[2TJW]

This video was SO brilliant. Nice one, Einstein.

[andregreen12]

Good job Einstein.

[livialioness07]

Why are they telling real news? haha

[gamernerd1992]

this is so fucking true :D

[Dman761]

I'm sarcastic and I found this offensive

[cyborgchimpy]

lmfao I died at "ooOOoo" 

[culturebully3]

The life of a conspiracy theorist: ItWasTyped. com

[SavoyTruffle78]

Oooooohhhh, smooth move, Onion. This video was *cough* a real [air quotes] "riot."



[willk27]

these scientists are on to something.

[TheYouwontgetit]

nice video... good job...

[CooCurrent]

Their status is now in question LOL

[alBoorack]

What's a "Food vampire"?

[LuniaVideo]

@alBoorack A fat fuck 

[errydaysaholiday]

and when we continue, 62 people are dead after a hungry hungry hippo devours a boat full of tourists

[yusiftheranger]

nice video, I love your videos

[DetectiveGeek1]

oooooh, nice one. I gave this video a thumbs up *cough*

[williamq19]

starts with slow clapping :D

[alBoorack]

What's a "food Vampire"?

[sfHypernet]

Oooo! This video was sOOoo gooOOOoood!

[Aaronmaggedon]

There are currently 70 dislikes.

SARCASM

[HeEh616]

lol at how there are 70 dislikes

[Uratashi]

wow really? they need a news report to let ppl know when thers sarcasm? wtf is dis shit

Note: There is a 70% chance that this comment is in fact sarcasm.

[ShotgunDiplomat]

"A real life hungry hungry hippo" that was the funniest line of the video.

[thekid81287]

A hungry hungry hippo they are dangerous lmao BTW oooo great video *rolls eyes and claps slowly* lmao

[Grasslander]

Like, great video, TheOnion. Sure, like, really great work!

"Ahead this hour: could you be a 'food vampire'?" Why yes, I am cursed to eat food every day to survive!

[Amariyah]

You can't get me I'm part of the onion.

[Amariyah]

"70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic".

Really? Don't be silly!

[AngelFluttershy767]

Could you be a 'food vampire'?

That nearly made me spit out my drink.. XDD

[Anything2bCool]

whats a food vampire? lol

[hoax4254]

1:11 LOL

[photon72]

Sociology ai it‘s best.

[SC2TossGuy]

69 dislikes rofl

[ZhangtheGreat]

I hope people are seeing the more subtle message from this report: that we might be putting a little too much money into meaningless studies =)

[cronon94]

@ZhangtheGreat i hope people are seeing the less subtle message from this report: that the onion is a fake news station =)

[itsallenwow]

@ZhangtheGreat ooooohhhh good reasoning einstein

[Conway79]

Well done The Onion for yet another extremely useful and insightful report!

[ICE117649]

@Conway79

Nice one Conway79

[AmethToad]

this video is funny but its true. When someone says "so glad you can join us" i use another sarcastic line saying "sure you are"

[IcedPhoenix666]

@AmethToad That's a great comment.

[basketball72411]

smoove move ;)

[jposh707]

"So glad you could join us." Haha. I LOVE using that one!

[Sasudela]

@s032656a He's being sarcastic, which is why it's funny.

[DanielW4294]

@s032656a 62 dead from hungry hippo

[undertyped1]

hippo has 1584 youtube accounts

[ZionCleric]

Such a great video. [/sarcasm]

[amytriptalene]

65 people are being sarcastic

[keen14you]

Thanks to Onion News so much for this enlightening report on sarcastic praise... The hotshots of the world have enough pressure without dealing with barbs such as these!

[MXxXRAINBOWXxXM]

so i am adopted

[SirAwesumness]

64% of people are better at history

51% are better at math

this was made by one of the 64% of people because those numbers don't add up

[XcoldshadowX]

I've been thinking about it for a week and I can't imagine that 1% in which "smooth move Einstein" wouldn't be sarcastic.

[adhache]

@XcoldshadowX maybe when someone say this to Einstein

[philnoll]

@XcoldshadowX More popularly stated as "smooth move, exlax"

[cjpolodo]

@XcoldshadowX Maybe when they're talking to Einstein's dead body?

[IUVENTIU]

@cjpolodo

and still sarcastically=))))) lol

[cassidy99ful]

@XcoldshadowX the only time i can think of would be when einstein came up with his theory of relativity.

[Casper3417]

@cassidy99ful and actually talking to Einstein

[cassidy99ful]

@Casper3417 very good Einstein.

[Casper3417]

@cassidy99ful thank you

[cassidy99ful]

@Casper3417 anytime.

[mecaganopoderentrar]

@XcoldshadowX ONLY IF YOU WERE EINSTEIN xD

[Pingstery]

@XcoldshadowX 'Nice one, Einstein' - if you solve a very hard equation!

[goodolarchie]

@XcoldshadowX When someone einstein made a smooth move of course!

[airsoftdeath]

@XcoldshadowX If Einstein were to make a move on a girl that was smooth.

[J4R16B94]

@XcoldshadowX When einstein came up with his energy formula

[MTwords]

@XcoldshadowX maybe if the person's name was Einstein. and he was a real smooth character. :p i dunno

[851852093114208513]

@XcoldshadowX If someone with the surname Einstein had just picked up a chick at a bar..?

[theknightlynews]

@XcoldshadowX I can. Einstein was a young man once, you know.

[ohjawillkommen]

@XcoldshadowX Spontaneous appearances of Einstein zombie look-alikes? They are pretty clever (and smooth).

[EastenNinja]

@XcoldshadowX when your name is Einstein!

[hfdpayner]

@XcoldshadowX if your talking to your friend Einstein.

[trueblueclue]

@XcoldshadowX well your name could be einstein

[hannibalsimth]

@XcoldshadowX It wouldn't be if you were talking to Einstein himself

[archidar1]

@XcoldshadowX if the guys name was einstein

[TCreatorO]

Could you be a Food Vampire? LOL XD

[nactan]

What's wrong? Onion is usually a lot smoother.

[notdemocratic]

i like him bald

[Racingirl911]

LOL@Robert111-- The results of a recent nationwide poll shows that 99.9% of people named "Robert" have lives that suck!! teehee! But, hey,...I'm going to bet that you are in that .10% category, right?!! LOL!

[Racingirl911]

Hey!! To the person who wrote this particular piece--GOOD JOB!! LOL!

[SnatchKing]

@Racingirl911 my comments end with LOL! LOL!

[VizzedRoms]

@SnatchKing Nice one, Einstein.

[fatstax79]

HA! I took a comm. class once and found out that there's really people who study stuff like sarcasm and analyze it to death. What a snore!!  There's probably a real study that's a lot like this, those people got way too much time on their hands.

[MrBalonko]

64 dislikes are hotshots and champs.

[Robert111]

This video is a bit depressing. My status has pretty much been called into question by the revelations expressed in this video.

[NonEmoSebby]

when they said the 62 people thing was said i saw the dislike bar and it had 62 creepy.....its like they know

[TheCrawler333]

For All those that discovered this is fake:

"Good discovery sherlock"

[tzimtzum1618]

What this study fails to note is the fact that 80% of all quoted statistics are actually incorrect.

[Zokunei]

Oooo, Nice video!

[MevsGoliath]

I love The Onion but I had to dislike to stop all the lame "62" jokes that aren't actually funny but are blatantly obvious.. -.-

[autorefresher1]

62 dead tourists...62 dislikes

[WestonVonWellington]

i'll never find out if i'm a food vampire....

[teague67]

well done onion! u are doing such important work and most of it is hilarious.

[xnightreaperx]

I feel sort of guilty after laughing at the end when we hear that a hippo has devoured a boat full of tourists...

[reignofrock]

@InvisibleTetris Congratulations on such an original observation. You sir, are going places.

[MeLoSq]

"Nation's fattest city has eaten neighboring city."

[ThreeCousinsAndaNoob]

62 of those hungry hungry hippo surivors disliked this video

[BatcaveDilemma]

Ooooh!

[TheUsername1029]

lol how funny would it be if there were 62 dislikes

[nlchamps07fan]

@TheUsername1029 hahahaha that would be funny

[Ghettobusters2]

Your AD or comment HERE!

Just $999 get's you this prime space at the top to leave an AD, sarcastic comment, the FAVORED quote from the clip we all just saw, or your belief if the Onion News is real or not. OR just your strong belief in a subject matter "as is".

Any of these can be placed HERE.

But you have to act FAST to get this prime comment space before it is gone!

1st $999 will get it!

[Davisrullzs]

Poor Hotshots and Champs

[imillere]

Oops, I'm a food vampire!

[undertyped1]

<--- only post that isnt a post of some randomly picked clip in the video 

[dmyankees24]

Oooo this video is great!

[DickeNormus]

hungry hungry hippo

[Bloited]

This clip is really good.

[Bizzer10]

Alec Baldwin must have watched this before reading Adam Carolla's email

[dadylarge]

Could you be a 'food vampire'?

[marineman345]

"The Onion is so Unfunny"

[Inediblehulk]

If you carry marbles in your pocket, you become a natural food source for hungry, hungry hippos. Laws of nature supercede criminal law, so you're on your own. Try to avoid gradual inclines. Good luck.

[MsDmonie]

how do these reporters keep such a serious composure

[PpsychoJOhnny]

Ooo, so funny.

[IIIBLAKEIII]

lmfao real life hungry hippo!

[DerOrk]

Oooo, nice Report.

[TheOverItFellow]

Ooooo... well done onion. *clap clap* I didn't know that.

[ClamCrunchy]

The real victims are the hotshots and champs, LOL

[ForkliftsOfVagisil]

This video is great and everyone who commented before me are amazing visionaries.

[VictorLepanto]

Way to go you bunch of Seinfelds! That was soooo funny.

[Ldunathan]

the hungry hungry hippo report at the end is the best part. lol

[Chibikyon13]

I love how the fact that the onion, which has humor based off of satire and sarcasm, is doing a story like this XD

[RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF]

stop all this doublespeak ,call a cow a cow ,you cow

[kindle139]

ARE YOU A FOOD VAMPIRE?

[MEareCAT]

I nearly spat out my drink @ the last bit :L

[randomfan1]

That is SUUUUUUUCH a good study, man...

[jessf1021]

slow measured clapping lmao!

[cluch9]

FAKE AND GAY

[Shadowin77]

@cluch9 it's supposed to be fake.. please be less stupid and come up with your own phrases, instead of stealing others', please :)

[derek6577]

@cluch9 way to go einstein! *clap* *clap* *clap* lmao

[cluch9]

@derek6577

jesus i still get messages about this?

yanks sure are dandiddly smart aint they?

[derek6577]

@cluch9 why how many did u get? what are u talkin about?

[dlwndwls]

"a real hungry hungry hippo" hahaha

[HabboLord101]

LMAAAOOOOOOOOOO A REAL LIFE HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO DEROURS PEOPLE LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOO

:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOO

[tropicallanterns]

Oooo, this is so funny!

[EuchridEucrow1]

I can easily see that hippo comment being made by one of the empty suits at CNN, FoxNews or MSNBC.

[ThePirhanaSlayer]

Did anyone ever notice that they keep changing the reporters' names?

I mean, the reporter in this video is named Michael Anderson, but in the last two videos I watched his name was "Micheal Bannon" and "Glen Bannon."

...I'm the only person who WOULD notice that, though. XD

[brokenbrain13]

@ThePirhanaSlayer

The names change because those are actually different people.

[ThePirhanaSlayer]

@brokenbrain13 No, it was the same person. =)

[halberdman7]

if it starts with "oooo" it may just be sarcastic O.o

[orianiscool]

"A real life hungry, hungry hippo devours a boatful of tourists." hahahaha.

[xeractus]

This is such a good video.

Now, was that sentance sarcastic?

[BaeWatson]

"Oooo"

[sgtCbb]

@BaeWatson agree.

[darkvision1]

damn those hungry hungry hippos its becoming an epidemic.

[YoshiShell]

Oooo! This is real helpful! Nice one, Einstein!

[A135S4656]

1:21

That's new, usually it just skips to another scene there.

[AllOtherNamesTaken2]

That description of sarcastic indicators would really be helpful to people with aspergers. If I had heard that stuff about 5 years ago, might possibly be a noticeably happier person

[DynamicScherzo]

"Oooo"

[DynamicScherzo]

I swear you hear him laugh a little around 00:36

[RoyalRamirez]

Good Job on this one, Onion News.

[pinito25]

Nice little reaserch you did there...Did you pull it out of your ass shitstein?!

[TuesdayMorningInSept]

Perfunctory praise?

[WinglessPigThatFlies]

"a genuine hungry hungry hippo"

[singlaprety12]

"Could you be a Food Vampire"

[lol101lol101lol10199]

Yeah, I've always thought it strange when everyone was calling me Einstein in school all the time. I mean, what's an Einstein anyway?

[LastTaboo]

So wait... so when I dropped a glass of red wine on the carpet and a friend told me it was a "smooth move", he was just being sarcastic? Dang!

[Diamondex11]

@LastTaboo Yeah, so you can stop dropping glasses everywhere now. It's just not good for the carpets.

[shapeshifter4tw]

70 percent of all praise sarcastic........good job Onion!!!

[MistrEgg]

85 percent of all facts are made up. 72 percent of all people know that.

[titusand]

or "OK, Sherlock!"

[boch100]

@InvisibleTetris hahahahaha I know, i mean... who the hell says "nice one, einstein" and means it??

[freshscrub16]

@boch100 one talking to an actual person named einstein.

[nana89london]

No shit einsteine;OF COURSE IF SOMEONE ROLLS THEIR EYES they are possibly taking the piss!

[brittanyjanosky]

I prefer using the 'smooth move' in the 'as a matter of fact' tone of voice and ending with a 'nonchalant shrug'

quite convincing.

[TheOverItFellow]

It's rather ironic that this is a fake, satirical report from a fake news channel, and people believe its real? Or is it not ironic? Who knows? One of the world's important questions with no answers, like how many people like liking things?

[Chinqua]

this... this can't be real... XD

[langengro]

If I know that my hearers won't be able to detect the "sarcasm" of my praise, there is no sarcasm going on at all. It's called insincerity.

[Cr1msonD3vil]

death by falling or death by fire thats a tough choice. i think i'll choose falling.

[back2thefutre]

fucking shit up the ass

[TheHomelessCripple]

Hungry hungry hippo devours boat of tourists, lol

[JaysThoughts]

Fuck you AXE. Just because you did this instead of a banner and forced me to watch..never buying your product again.

[dildomatron]

@JaysThoughts What?

[NickJanosky]

haha i always though of it just like that too lol

[Medifro]

Nice one, Einstein!