Awsome Short Film im starting my channel the weekend after new years im going to do a cheesy short film and the do a spook please check it out in a few weeks
This short-film is a good start, definitely. You got some nice shots and locations. The audio is pretty good, too. The only week things are the script and the acting. The second, I believe, is just product of poor writing; people don't talk like that and even some crazy dude wouldn't be so explicit and clear about everything. I think even crazy people have certain patterns, and actions always speak louder than words (cliché but it's true).
Also, you can also play with mystery and suspense without revealing so much about the character, which could have worked in this case. And you gotta be more careful and detailed, too. For instance, to me, it was quite distracting to see people walking in the background, even a dog, while the character was in such emotional state. Anyway, other than that and a few other minor things, I think you're gonna be pretty good soon. Good luck.
@TomCrooze1102 I did some soundediting/mixing on the audio. And I must say the recorded audio wasn't 100% perfect. But I tried to make the best of it.
their were some really neat shots that you had in here (camera angles, scenery...etc), but the story was a little ...lets just say it was hard to tell what the story is, or even what its about, because the lines, actions, and scenery didn't mix real well.. Also what would of been cool would be if you fashioned a sac in the knife so when it collapsed it would force blood out the top =).. But all in all a good first go =D. Cant wait to see the evolution of your skill
an idea on script writing.... People dont really write the way they talk, so wat makes it a little easier would be to set up an audio recorder, and improve the lines. That helps make the lines a little more organic and real.
Wow! That was really good! it felt like I was reading a book, well written and pieced together! Great!
missfangsmerlin 2 months ago
Awsome Short Film im starting my channel the weekend after new years im going to do a cheesy short film and the do a spook please check it out in a few weeks
FixelPixel 2 months ago
This short-film is a good start, definitely. You got some nice shots and locations. The audio is pretty good, too. The only week things are the script and the acting. The second, I believe, is just product of poor writing; people don't talk like that and even some crazy dude wouldn't be so explicit and clear about everything. I think even crazy people have certain patterns, and actions always speak louder than words (cliché but it's true).
TomCrooze1102 2 months ago
Also, you can also play with mystery and suspense without revealing so much about the character, which could have worked in this case. And you gotta be more careful and detailed, too. For instance, to me, it was quite distracting to see people walking in the background, even a dog, while the character was in such emotional state. Anyway, other than that and a few other minor things, I think you're gonna be pretty good soon. Good luck.
TomCrooze1102 2 months ago
@TomCrooze1102 I did some soundediting/mixing on the audio. And I must say the recorded audio wasn't 100% perfect. But I tried to make the best of it.
Dreken83 1 month ago
Hell yeah! (George's Brother).
CockWomble 2 months ago
Great work!
MrBlomu 2 months ago
Steady Cam FTW
chrisweeks101 2 months ago
@chrisweeks101 YEAHH! Except we didn't use a steadicam.. :/ (track)
supertom123 2 months ago in playlist Liked videos
their were some really neat shots that you had in here (camera angles, scenery...etc), but the story was a little ...lets just say it was hard to tell what the story is, or even what its about, because the lines, actions, and scenery didn't mix real well.. Also what would of been cool would be if you fashioned a sac in the knife so when it collapsed it would force blood out the top =).. But all in all a good first go =D. Cant wait to see the evolution of your skill
gambitmagic201 2 months ago
an idea on script writing.... People dont really write the way they talk, so wat makes it a little easier would be to set up an audio recorder, and improve the lines. That helps make the lines a little more organic and real.
gambitmagic201 2 months ago
@gambitmagic201 Always love some in depth feedback, thanks man. :)
supertom123 2 months ago