Tim Allen - Men Are Pigs, Part 1

[WarriorCatsPeace]

Please check out these videos of me Hannah singing please thanks

[PorroFirst]

No one makes fun of Tim Allen.. on my watch.

[conicalanimorphosis]

ummm wow holy shit.... this is terrible. Why does everyone consider invoking the gender binary to be the apex of humor?

[cutmastercurt]

@conicalanimorphosis *smacks you with Websters Collegiate Edition* re: /watch?v=oca9k4c9WEU

[xbryman92x]

@conicalanimorphosis glad you feel so high and mighty. now shut up troll.

[mrbrockpeters]

Now this is a real man! We need more men like this!

[MrKite1996]

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS GUY BECAUSE OF HIM I LOVE TOOLS AND WOMAN AD TOY STORY

[yurismir1]

He looks like that Joel Osteen guy

[Song4Alex]

@yurismir1 lol ! it's been buggin me for years i was thinking in the back of my head who these two looked like

[seeingUFOsPA]

..It was torture/punishment for us kids to have to go with stepdad to Sears while he drooled over tools, lol...

He forgot to add the other thing men are good for: taking out the garbage and fixing the toilet. It's how us women get them back for the other stuff they put us through... ;D

[s1rj0hn0fy0rk]

Thank you for posting this...you have no idea how long i've been looking for this

[joelvis65]

tim "the tool man" taylor... epic:)... no more words...

[szqsk8]

Back in the early 90s I bought my husband a Tim Allen hammer for his birthday along with a t-shirt that has Tim's picture on it and says 'caution, man with tool'. He loved both and still wears the shirt and uses the hammer. Neither item was made in China (unlike now) which is probably why they are still usable.

[Sven2Perroy]

Help ! Is the sort of drawings (the tools etc) on the wall, is that "pop art" ??

[KruegerLot]

Man, it's like he never aged!

Strange how many of my favorite actors used to be comedians, but then again I do suppose it's an unwritten rule that later got scrapped when the new guys took over the good stuff and killed it and replaced it with crap, that if you want to be an actor, you had to be a comedian first. No questions ask, no matter if you suck at it or not, you had to be one to be an actor.

Just like Star Trek, you have to have a Scottish engineer or you're nothing but.. a newbie

[stonecoldtrk]

he will always be the tool man

[picrob2000]

This guy was known as "the tool man," "the Christmas man," a space man, and now he's "Last Man Standing!"

[hilby]

I used to have such a huge crush on him when I was like 7.... and then one day when I was 10 I realized how effin sexist he was and I was over him. Oh yeah and also that he was old enough to be my dad.

[xbryman92x]

go away trolls. don't watch the vid if you don't like him

[jetekiffe42]

wow-- this isn't funny at all

[LORDGOAT1976]

His TV Show is Fucking lame, but his Stand Up is funny.

[greysquid1]

@todd8333 1 word. Caveman

[xRikux]

@todd8333 Sexist son of a b*tch. :/

[xRikux]

@todd8333 No, I am merely stating that you are sexist. Last I heard, you had to have been sleeping with several men to be considered a slut. If you're going to insult me, the least you could do is know what the word means. But I digress. Good day to you, sir.

[deliverancefan]

@todd8333 And there sisters vaginas lol well said.

[squall600]

tim allen is the missing link...ar ar ar.

[vamplov365]

@Blackfistuphigh I love that movie! It's so funny XD

[DeuceReggs]

Its funny he said the "real Pinheads" and the Pegboard in his Garage was outlined for the Tools LMAO.

[thuffy1]

Still, to this day, I think this is one of the funniest stand up routines of all time! Very basic, very neanderthal, very funny! Pure genius!

[bsbfan05]

you`ve lit your sister on fire for the last time

[ironmyno]

I think I have this somewhere on VHS too. I still do the TIm Allen Ape grunt thing till this day. Nobody seems to wonder what it means. Its as universal is GOONEY GOOGOO.

Welcome to immortality Tim..

[marwa1908]

its CHUCK NORRIS

[lensgypsy]

Thanks, man. Haven't seen Tim Allen in a while and this was a good laugh. Yeah, reminds a lot about Home Improvement! (That face-hidden neighbour in the series was a masterstroke. Enjoyed it.)

[cavalierfan1995]

CRAFTS-MAN!!!

ARGH ARGH ARGH!

[cavalierfan1995]

AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHH!

[jdclyde]

Saw Tim last night, and this was a big part of his standup

[IceLucario2012]

Lol at 0:18

[dstar1958]

The funniest man ever. And Home Improvement was the best show ever!

[misskaren17]

MEN ARE PIGS!! Like this comment if you are a girl or a woman and think men ARE Pigs

[misskaren17]

haha i love it when he starts talkin about sears. lol

[misskaren17]

Its gettin old. I love his movies and i watch home improvement:)

[twirlingparasol]

Why is he making monkey noises while talking about men as pigs??

[luxy009]

@twirlingparasol thats just his man grunt haha it just happens to sound like a monkey he's makin fun of men being sloppy and doin stupid guy things

[twirlingparasol]

@luxy009 I'm not even debating this, I was trying to convey the disjunct between calling men one animal and then making the noise of another. That is stupid, Full Stop,

[jcbc402]

everyone dressed REALLY badly in the ninties...



[newyy1]

Men are pigs. Right, woman?

*holds for applause*

It's too bad we own everything!

[liquidgears1991]

What an unfunny bastard. Henceforth Tim Allen shall always be known as that sad cunt which Ricky Gervais ripped to shreds.

[pippigladstone]

can you upload that playpus man?

[candlelight482]

Well thank u Tim for making that night so memorable!!!

[candlelight482]

Just got back from Vegas saw Tim Allen in person we were front row center as it turned out WOW we met him in person had a pic taken w him, his signature is more like a squiggle, the meet and greet was so rushed wished we could have asked him questions, approaching him made me a little nervous i barely gave him eye contact course he did'nt give me much either.

[pekahn92]

little bitch from hell hahaha

[mariomario8888]

Stupid evolution...

[EmceeSlick4life]

he looks like joel olsteen

[chelioshit]

I am going to seee him in May and I cannot wait.

[JurassicJeremyJames]

@chelioshit he's still doing stand up? where?

[candlelight482]

@JurassicJeremyJames In vegas all this year execpt june july december, I c him in april, vip, I will b meeting him in person

[candlelight482]

in v

[candlelight482]

@chelioshit I'm going 2 c tim in vegas in april - we are vip , we get to meet him after the show I CAN'T WAIT

[chelioshit]

@candlelight482 I am not seeing him anymore sadly. Because his show was cancelled. And it sucks.

[candlelight482]

@chelioshit Oh Thats a shame!!!!!! Sorry 2 hear that.

[candlelight482]

@chelioshit just curious if u don't mind me asking what was the date u were planning 2 c him cause according 2 his website he's still on 4 may (vegas)

[Hrko1992]

ITS BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!

[TheJACKALO]

@Hrko1992 I never knew that beneath that serious, plastic exterior, beat the heart of a true comedian :L

[MilitantOldLady]

@Hrko1992

omg please shut up and go away *facepalm*

[1234righton]

@Hrko1992 I know right? Close your eyes and picture Buzz Lightyear! lol

[420JBizzle420]

strange thing about men you can organize your too area but you cant keep brown stains out of your underwear lmaao XD

[Unnamed3618]

8 hens, good! Where's my gun?

[Cheech234566]

god he reminds me of my grandpa. its great!

[Neurolanis]

Thanks for sharing!

[Misskayseeluvsu]

wow, I grew up watching Tim Allen on home improvement and in the toy story and santa clause movies so it's kinda nice to see a different side of him- the more adult, non-disney side. (:

[BlackFistUpHigh]

@Misskayseeluvsu i agree .. but dont forget the biker movie cant remember the title but it was great .

[Bobby61189]

@BlackFistUpHigh Wild Hogs (2007)

[UniteForgetLeftRight]

@Misskayseeluvsu if you like this you should see his coke dealing side

[MegaGhost151]

Well there are 32 absolute idiots out their

[JDK0316191]

@MegaGhost151 ...and you're on of them. Learn to spell.

[JDK0316191]

@MegaGhost151 ...and you're one of them. Learn to spell.

[OTownDave]

32 people have NO sense of humor

[GoethesSpucke]

@mase5701 Omg ist was in 1975, he did penace for it SO WHAT

[SuttonSantiniPaulo]

Stupid jokes for stupid people.

[ihfppl]

@SuttonSantiniPaulo thanks man, i thought i was the only one realising how absolutely cheap this shit is.. (on top of that, i clicked this right before watching bill hicks).

[mase5701]

Tim the Toolman Taylor was arrested at the airport with over a pound of cocaine.

[DSmium]

I'm happy, you're happy, let's call it a night!

[1981z28camaro]

Is it just me or is Tim Allen doing the voice overs for like every friggin commercial on TV?

Seriously...

[XxXSammiCakesXxX]

@1981z28camaro i noticed that too

[1981z28camaro]

@XxXSammiCakesXxX lol, ok good to know I'm not alone, lol

[peachachu]

ooo that's one foxy crowd @ 4:01. Dood with a fake nose?!

[TheSwissman29]

tims done alot of good work ! i especially the santa clause series

[MrOnairos]

lmao this was pretty funny actually

[bd1965]

this was epic back "in the day". kind of "not funny" anymore. Its going on my favorites out of "respect".

[iMadeYouMad]

UUUGGGHHHH???!!!!

[SnoocheeBoochees]

i love how cheesy 90s stand up vhs tapes were

[duomas]

crazy crowd. laughing at every joke, even the shitty ones.

[jimmyrich1]

Its Tim 'The Tool Man' Taylor

[UberKrassMann]

is it just me or does the cartoon at the beginning look absolutly nothing like tim allen? 0o

[PaintGuru24]

lmao buzz said bitch

[Voitzify]

to infinity and BEYOND !

[SinnFein4ever]

If you want to cut all the mysogynistic crap, and get right to it, skip to 3:34

[michaeljdragon]

Seen this so long ago, but still love it :D

[TheEldoradosBand]

One More Michigan Talent Rocks

[RockFromDownUnder23]

does anybody notic that sometimes John Wing and Tim Allen sound similar.?

[sheYvY]

Buzz buzz :D

[tinymanbigheart]

Snitch

[surfingsuicune]

"The real pinheads will outline their tools. I know where that baby goes. You can't fool me. I know where that ball peen hammer goes, goddamnit, I do."

[cplusplusgamer]

Lol, what women don't understand is that MEN made cell-phones and the little suburbans you bitches drive around recklessly in. Good fight...

[ghosterdude]

STUPID CUNTS!

[afabandjon]

OGH OGH OGH !!!!

[DoNotBeHighandMighty]

Tim is awesome.

[andrewsurtees]

holy shit was standup primitive in the '80's

[SuperLuigirules1]

@andrewsurtees Primitive? What do you want, the idea of stand up is a man stands on stage and makes people laugh. If they have special effects and fireworks on their show then they can't be all that funny. There are a few funny female stand up's such as Whoopi Goldberg but 90% of female comedians only material is about their husband leaving the toilet seat up and man's flaws.

[andrewsurtees]

@SuperLuigirules1

and that stufff is shit.

Yes, a lot of standup is derivative. Doesn't excuse it. Jim Davidson makes people laugh, doesn't mean i have to like it.

"hello" magazine sold more copies last week than "king lear" did. Doesn't stop someone like Dan Kitson or Stewart Lee being better than this old shite. More to art than popularity.

[c1o2l3l4e5e6n7]

Was Tim the "Dane Cook" for the leave-it-to-beaver-white-picke­t-fence crowd before the actual Dane Cook?

[DoNotBeHighandMighty]

@c1o2l3l4e5e6n7

"Leave-it-to-beaver-white-pick­et-fence crowd." LOL. Funny description, I think it is the "people with functional families" crowd.

[raztrip]

@DoNotBeHighandMighty

Looks like a discount outlet, mullet crowd.

[DoNotBeHighandMighty]

@raztrip

Best type of crowd there ever was or will be.

[DoNotBeHighandMighty]

@raztrip

You seem to be thinking of the crowd as a redneck trailor trash crowd. I think it is more of a suburban crowd. Although there are many rednecks in the suburbs as well, but there are many wealthy, educated, well-groomed people in the suburbs too. I guess it depends on which suburb it is.

[RockBoyBW]

I love that Guy :D

He's so Funny ;D

[atlbravesfan7]

My dad had this recorded on a tape and it was sitting in a box in the garage for years untill this past weekend when he broke it out and we watched it. One of the funniest stand up acts I've ever seen.

[bamaedgecore]

tim. allen. owns.

[mikefrancesarocks]

you KNOW nobody enjoys Tim Allen's routine

[almussalix]

Coke is a hell of a drug

[Kneenibble]

What a terrible, terrible comedian.

[bevil4aday]

This was recorded in either August or September in 1990 and released on, I think Showtime in June or July 1991. It was recorded in its entirety at the State Theatre in Grand Rapids, MI. Tim Allen Rewires America was recorded in June of 1991 and aired in March of 1992 and was recorded at the Power Station in Ann Arbor, MI. Tim was a huge hit here in Michigan, and loved this the first time I saw it back then and still do today! And I still imitate his grunts from time to time!

[LetsNotSayWeDid]

tim allen please never attempt stand up. YOU SUCK!!!

[MrDomonicShepherd]

@LetsNotSayWeDid If you don't like it, Then why did you watch the video?

[LetsNotSayWeDid]

@MrDomonicShepherd I clicked it from the related search box. I had an open mind!

[AkBoy1000]

6month bitch from hell hahahaha

[barf245]

Tim the Tool man Taylor

[LyricalAssassin]

this strangely reminds me of jerry seinfeld

[stitzer]

The man's a freaking legend!! Russell Peters and Pablo Francisco have got nothing on him!!

[midocrimsonfate]

''Your a toy,TEE OH Why-Toyy!''

[PietroDimeglio]

omg its buzz lightyear

[TheGregisgod]

santa!

[YeahRight825]

wow, I never noticed this until I watched this old routine of Tim, but he resembles Joel Osteen a bit lol

[ollie12345678]

yh glad sum1 else noticed tht lol

[92117619]

Good call. Thanks for posting. Still funny!!!

[bostonbruinsfever]

Awesome- thanks for posting this.

[luckyanamare]

i'm girl and i dont find this offensive...it's funny. :D

[mtavares92]

why do these bitches always yell like ... bitches ??

I got fucking sick of hearing that pussy bearer saying YAH !! every fucking 5 seconds godammit

[111vnderbnder111]

almost as funny as bill cosby

[Awsomeness80]

@111vnderbnder111

Bill Cosby is funny as hell

[rogerthat155]

Im not a nutcase but I do believe that the survival of our species and a peaceful future relies upon there only being ONE male per country. ONE MALE. The sperm bank. lol. the rest are women = better workers, no wars too, they can talk!!

[Millhouse3671]

@rogerthat155 Eh, too many would die from obesity and car accidents

[RajekArionShinoda]

okay, I'm a guy and I am totally all for equal women's rights and all that other shit that women want to help get them at the same level as the male gender, but what you're saying is a little too far. I find this comedy hilarious and I don't know if you're being serious or not, but not all women talk. Actually, women tend to overreact more than men do AND we're stronger [not trying to be macho] which means their are some labor jobs that most women aren't cut out to do.

[rogerthat155]

our reliance on labour as a species is a product of it being male led and driven. With women in power to start with, it could be quite a different world today. Possibly with an entirely different economy. And women are 'cut out' to do most jobs I think, women can be just as strong of body as men.

[rogerthat155]

But I was just joking around it was just an odd feeling I got from watching this, a vision of a different world where there could be no fear of eachother no rivalry and no violence just progress, because testosterone in the field was no longer an issue. The world has too many Gods all trying to make our own stories, but if we adopted a more hive style agreed work system, we could be better off. But I WAS joking.

[rogerthat155]

But i do see what you mean... women these days are only shaped and toned by the way our species has needed them so far, and for some reason they are getting sexier and more block headed with refusal to mate, they have to start to change!!! Or man is doomed!!!

[Hollywoodollywood]

yes but that doesn't meanwe cant try and just cuz u think ur strong doesn't mean u r

[yumichishio1319]

Um, well I don't really find this comedy sexist at all. I mean, yeah, he makes fun of women in it, but he also makes fun of men.

[gamerguycod]

@rogerthat155-

stfu of course YOU wouldnt understand the complex phenomena knows as us men..........i peepee in shower!

[rogerthat155]

u make no sense, like rabbit caught in beartrap.

[Dwyminator]

@rogerthat155 You do not understand how species survive. Please stop talking.

[rogerthat155]

@Dwyminator Mr. I talk in capital letters on the internet because it makes me look smart. Mr. I make bold accusations at people I don't even know.

you dont know half the shit i know and understand mate. i jokingly decided to open a conversation about a JOKE scenario just to think what it was like, its a purely theoretical situation and has nothing to do with how we survive as a species. u got no sense of humour. now fuck off please its my birthday today and i already wanna punch u in the face.

[eyebonez13]

LOL FUNNY AS FUCK!!!

[abdalla2thebest]

the funniest man ever , tim allen rules

[duomas]

@abdalla2thebest funny yes, the funniest not by a long shot

[MrLuchas123]

@abdalla2thebest that is my little brother name only spelled diffrent alan

[snhtown9]

@abdalla2thebest ARRGH< ARGH< ARGH!!!!

[BlackThyrel]

u said that because u dont have any feelings bout humor, u just clueless xD :P

[XxbulldogsxX]

SCREW U LOL

[GodDamnBender]

he looks the same as he does today lol. HUNK

[XxbulldogsxX]

i wonder they dont show home improvement anymore, i only liked it because he was in it otherwise itd be downright boring

[19Heights89]

home improvement is on cmt :)

[Awsomeness80]

@19Heights89

Lol Home Improvement is the best. I own all 8 seasons

if it was still on th