Yo I just uploaded 2 more of Doug's albums to my channel, go check them out. Its the albums "From Across The Street" and "Oslo: Burning The Bridge To Nowhere".
@dave19711998 Because what if your wrong? If you consider how many religions there are, the chances are quite small that christianity is right. But if you think about it, suicide bombers don't appear scared of death. Coincidence?
yeah out of 500 one line was referenced. i won't deny it i love that line. tell me anything else i've stolen. i'm pissed at christianity because any believer is spitting in the face and dancing on the graves of the millions of people who's deaths it's caused. and the stupid cult has an impact on my life every single day, in a bad way. it's also slowing down our evolution. you can talk to an imaginary friend, but us normal folk stopped doing that fairly early in life
Oh and by the way, not that I care or anything, but since you felt the need to tell me that you were a better person than me I just wanted to let you know that good people don't usually call total strangers fucking idiots. People suck by the way. It was all people under the guise of Christianity that did those things you describe. Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, and Kim Jong Il. All atheist. By the way stereotype, how awesome am I that I still have my beliefs, but I can listen and laugh this.
@Jjmcg112 One can't use their atheism as an excuse to do something like a believer can with religion. That makes no sense. "My actions are justified because no gods told me to do it". What?
@Jjmcg112 Religion muddles the brain on moral choices, and marginalizes one's internal conscience or awareness of their action's consequences by telling them they're only good because of their religion.
So not only does it provide a cover by which bad people can do bad things, but by instilling a dependency on an invisible, unknowable being for their morality, it can confuse good people into doing bad things as well.
@MagicMalky See what I mean. You're so militantly atheist that you're aggressively trying to convince me that I'm wrong. It bothers you that I believe in God so much that you wrote 500 words in response to my stupid meaningless comment. If you're so independent why are such a stereotype? Nice Joe Rogan ripoff by the way. You tried to change the words a little, but I still caught it. I could probably tell you which book, show, movie, or comedian that you got your independent thoughts from.
I may be the only Christian Doug Stanhope fan on the face of the Earth. Christianity gets a bad rap because of its shitheads, but don't hate the faith. It is truly beautiful in its essence. I find it humorous that atheists are a group now. They're religion in that they're an anti-religion. And now they identify with each other as atheists. I'm going to start identifying myself by things that I don't believe or do. Anyhow, the Capn' Crunch thing was hilarious.
@Jjmcg112 christianity gets a bad rep because it has caused more torture, murder and evil then just about anything else in the history of humanity. the vatican has enough money that it could end world poverty many times over, but chooses to keep everyone suffering. yeah athiests are a group. the group that thinks. we stopped believing in santa and stupid shit like that when we developed the ability of independent thought. christianity is nothing more then an ugly cult
@Jjmcg112 it is not a religion, as religion is the study of god. you blindly believe ONE book that was written by men thousands of years ago. that is not study that is blindly believing one book. get out of your cult. i do good things because i want to help people. you do because you're scared of an imaginary friend. that makes me a better person then you. smoke some weed, look through a microscope, and watch some space documentaries or something
Very much reminds me of Bill Hicks, like a drunken version of Hicks. Before your head explodes, I'm not saying he's ripping off Bill, I'm just saying he reminds me of Hicks.
@Prka01 You could argue that Hicks is very similar to Sam Kinison but it's like comparing all black comedians to Richard Pryor. Hicks and Stanhope just have the same style of comedy, as does George Carlin.
@ScottishNonBeliever There weren't many atheists during the Spanish Inquisition because they would have been tortured and killed! I agree with you that some atheists are morons, but so what? At least they aren't morons who are against evolution being taught in schools or gays having equal rights. At least they aren't bombing abortion clinics or flying planes into buildings so they can get into heaven. Get over yourself, man.
@ScottishNonBeliever And really? As an atheist, you're going to bitch about more people calling themselves atheists? Give me a break. Sounds like you just want something to complain about.
@ScottishNonBeliever The masses are all atheists? Open your eyes, guy. The fact that people are "sheep and don't think for themselves" is precisely why religion is STILL rampant. Atheism isn't the norm.
Some people are starting to wake up, and you seem to only think it's because it's "the norm" to be against religion.
If you're a Christian, go in your house, watch American Idol, and let us thinkers do the math to save your fatass for when you get cancer from being a fat fuck.
@ScottishNonBeliever In other words, a major part of all these so called atheists are almost as equal as some conservative, religious bastards who don't know a single thing about tolerance, and who go all over the place, imposing their beliefs onto other people.
@ScottishNonBeliever agreed! The world is becoming more and more interconnected, and now, thanks to the internet, we have an opportunity to meet other cultures and people with totally different mindsets than ours. What we need know the most is tolerance, and I really haven't noticed atheists promoting it too much.
So, the best way to argue with religious nuts is to convince them that they themselves don't REALLY believe in EVERYTHING the bible says, or are THAT willing to actually die in order to see if there's a Heaven.
Good thing that most religious people are fairly hypocritical. Just think of the sheer volume of Christians who'd be sued into the poor house if everybody took Jesus' legal advice seriously. That is, if they had any cash left after following his economic policies...
I agree with him, for the people also agreeing with him too, stop enforcing the idea. Faith is a term with no logic or facts behind it, trying to convince them is like telling a brick wall to move. And for the religious people, my answer is no, and it will always be no. So don't show up at my door at 8:00am with a pamphlet and a speech because all you will find is a very grumpy guy with a 44. revolver.
tl;dw, this guy hates religion, or at least pretends to for the sake of comedy.
Is this the sort of comedy of which you have to relate to his "persona"? If so, then everyone who enjoys his material are ignorant, narrow-minded fucks.
What, you disagree with me? Sorry, I'm just too liberal and educated to understand the humour in the unfounded bashing of another's beliefs.
@DragoonBoom I hardly see how criticising 2000 years of a war on critical thinking and intolerance constitutes "unfounded" bashing. I'm a liberal as well, so don't give me that shit about how you're "just too liberal". You're not too liberal, you're too stupid. You're one of the liberals whose head has been so pumped full of pretentiousness that you've become tolerant towards organizations founded upon intolerance. Tell me, what did Doug say that was "unfounded"?
@davethehostage Ah, the internet; where one can spout their uneducated opinions (and to their extent, vent their feelings) without fear of retribution due to anonymity.
@DragoonBoom And of course, you respond with something other than an answer to the question I posed. And what's more, you refer to my opinion as being "uneducated" without providing any rationale as to why. I have a feeling you'll tell me it's because I'm not worth your time (although it seemed to be worth your time to post the comment in the first place), but we both know that you're choosing not to answer because it's your argument that's "unfounded" - not mine.
Nah this is the comedy thats funny because its true... If you sit there and actualy ask yourself the questions about religion surley you cant still believe it and anyone stupid enough to believe deserves to be ribbed for being so fukin stupid.
@stellpoons Ah yes, I had forgotten that American public schools do not teach religion.
May be the explanation to all the bigoted atheists in America. How bout instead of attaining to the (fundamentalist) religion of not having a religion, how bout just not giving a fuck and letting others believe that there's someone looking out for them, even when they're alone, even when times are shit.
Religion isn't bad; it gives hope to others. What has atheism done, apart from worshiping science?
@DragoonBoom Britain actualy and i went to sunday school religious school from the age of 6-10 i was pushed in to being a nice religious boy from a very young age but unfortunatley that god that dont exist blessed me with a brain and even at the age of 10 onwards when i finished it i never took it as truth.
But thats the irrelevant point.. what you dont understand is religion creates difference between people and the biggest atrocitys to ever happen have been udner religon.
@DragoonBoom You obviously have a bit of a god complex yourself because you seem to think everyone is less educated than you just for venting a differening opinion.
At the end of the day i wasted 4 years of my young life to religion and you know what i aint gonna waste anymore of my life to it because il make my own path and then die rot in to the ground and cease to exist forever. because im not nieve enough to think i go floating up in the sky to see my maker.
Between 1:05 and 1:23 check out the girl in the white shirt, in the bottom right. It looks like Doug's words are just carving their way into her brain.
you'd think doug stanhope would have built sufficiant reputation to have Christians, muslims, retards, jews and woman all stop turning up to his shows. what do they expect?!
@whateverujoke If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone at her. [John 8:7]
Do not judge, lest you too be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. [Matthew 7:1 & 2.]
If any of you has a son or a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? [Matthew 12:11]
The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath. [Mark 2:27.]
I was making fun of "whateverujoke". Clearly you lack the mental capability to comprehend what i was doing. Maybe you should re-read my previous comment and look at his and try to figure it out. It will be good phrenic calisthenics for one who is obviously lacking routine intellectual stimulus.
Commenting on something you are clearly ignorant in regards to just makes you look like a jackass.
Anyway ill admit this was my bad, i meant to reply to his post. So how about we cool our collective jets and just agree that whateverujoke is more useless than tits on a nun.
fear mutates the dna and makes us easier to control cos we become brittle - love happiness and not giving a damn makes us pliable
thats why they teach fear - cos it creates good sheeple
and the pasteur leads his flock - ha ha - what a joke
it is morally wrong to teach people that one can attain spiritual freedom (redemption - negative word again in christianity) vicariously through another's human sacrifice and its immoral to teach this shit to children CH
They're in a better place, yes but people cry because they won't see them again until they make it there. "HURRR DERRRRRRRRRR" <-- This is all the clip said to me.
Most atheists are more aware of religion than those who practice it, i know more about christianity than my friends who practice it... its all about fear. those who totally understand the use of religion would for sure become atheists as they should in be disgusted by the hypocritical lies in it...
Stanhope Rules- Comedians are hip to this Religious Bullshit- Why is Dracula afraid of the cross ? Because he's allergic to bullshit .- Damn right- Human bullshit- Just an extension of humans big crappy egos along with their big crappy stools. We are just urinating ,defecating animals. People are too stupid to even figure it out. Except comedians.
I'm tired of being tolerant toward religious people, only to keep getting comments from them that I suck because I have no faith and stuff like that. FUCK GOD AND FUCK YOUR RELIGION, YOU DUMB, IGNORANT MOTHERFUCKERS! Even if there was a God, how could I know which one is real? I mean, there were at least 10000 Gods throughout human history. Hmm, which one should I choose?
@zlajacrnjak20 choose the one that is most relevant to you. I hate the term God, because it means different things to everyone. I'm not a christian, a muslim, a buddhist or anything - but something stirs deep within my soul that is love eternal. Perhaps this is what they mean? *shrug*
Again jojosmart, if you dont like Doug why do you keep watching his video's and leaving silly comments? I dont watch christian video's then leave comments about the things I don't agree with. Fuck off back to troll land you muppet.
@jojojosmart Fuck, you're a very annoying person. If you reply to any more of my comments I will make it my business to leave pointless messages all over your crappy page. Fuck off and take your acoustic guitar and stick it up your arse.
@bigbadbobob ---- Wow Mr. Censorship here. Who appointed you captian of you tube police. i think you need to attend anger management courses first.i don't know why you went to my guitar videos but I'm glad you like my playing. Bob, you are so big and so bad, I might have to leave messages of truth all over your mean page.
@jojojosmart Sorry champ, they tried to brainwash me as a child, I spent 12 years in catholic school, only to think for myself and realize It's extremely outlandish. Hey, if you need to believe and talk to some mystical higher being to sleep at night, all the power to yah.
your stupid saviour would forgive Stanhope for all of his sins, and he could live eternal bliss in heaven... and with all of the wars that have been started in gods name, I'd assume heaven looks more like a mine field.
@lifesblood -- Sorry to hear about the catholic torture. hope you got out before you got molested. maybe some day when you search for the truth again, you won't be decieved by priests or aetheist comics. Life is in the blood.. Eternal life comes through the blood of Jesus Christ.
@jojojosmart Omfg get off the internet you anti-development faggot. You have no right to be here, THE POWER OF LULZ COMPELLS YOU, THE POWER OF LULZ COMPELLS YOU! Go back to your Bible
@yellowcougar18 Well thats kinda sitting on the fence isn't it? at one time i thought god, jesus the whole shebang was good, honest, real and fed my empty soul with self confidence as i was needing a mask for my insecurities, today as i look into the mirror i wonder about the most precious elements this universe has created, intelligence and consciousness and i see that in myself and others, so we are all "star stuff" indeed and the god i once looked for was always behind the eyes.
Did you hear the great news? Lightening struck my baby! Ya, he's in a better place. God picked him. I told you he was adorable. God spared him that average 72 year sentece on this shithole planet...
The seatbelt thing is a little weak, to be honest. Not everyone dies in a car accident, so why not wear the seatbelt to prevent an injury such as a cracked skull, or paralysis?
@yellowcougar18 because some of us are betting on the possibility that we don't make it. not that we want to die, but just want to leave some available options and scenarios open
@adrewk First of all, the guy ain't funny. He's no bill Hicks, or George Carlin, or Richard Pryor. They were funny, and topical, and could easily make people laugh. He's a pretender.
Secondly, I can take a joke. I find you hilarious, for example.(Cannot use full stops, has no proper grammar, and the use of CAPITOL letters highlights your ignorance).
Lastly, you're calling Christians gullible, but you believe in hell. .~.
@yellowcougar18 1st....why do you idiots have to bring up other comics? what the fuck do they have to do with this guy being funny too?
2nd... i dont believe in hell, i not a stupid ass gulible, jesus worshipping, bible humpin fuck wad like you. i was being sarcastic/ironic, you dumb fuck, see.. thats why you didnt get the seat belt joke, your too literal. most likey dumbdified from religion. you should research the name richard dawkins.
@adrewk Guy is not funny, nor is he funny too. I'm theist, and that's it. Richard Dawkins (capitalise first letter of first name and surname) is a boring, dull writer and personality, who is so blindingly biased, he has the same personality traits as those he condemns. He backs down too easily, he's too smug and his writing displays all the amateurish problems of an amateur writer. Hitchens is a far more interesting and hard working writer. But he is dying, which, plainly, sucks. :(
@yellowcougar18 George Carlin was topical...yeah...right...you're an idiot. and let me be the first one to point out to you that nobody gives a shit about who or who you don't find funny...especially since you're an idiot.
@mongolenpup That is possibly the worst put down I have read, EVER, on youtube. Seriously? That is the best you can come up with? Plenty people care about my opinion and you obviously do too because you responded to mine (D'oh! on your part), hell, if yours had been constructive, I might actually care about your opinion.
Don't bother responding, I'm embarrassed or the both of us....>:)
@yellowcougar18 actually I just read the first 2 sentences and felt the slight need to tell you you're a dumbass...for writing high and mighty critique which isn't even accurate...you should be embarrased yeah.
@mongolenpup Why state you don't care about my opinion, and then reply to my opinion? IT shows you care about my opinion. Ya understand the hypocrisy in that? Many other people don't care about my opinion, and fine for them. But they did not respond, and in doing so, they showed, quite bluntly, they do not care for my opinion. The same way many people may not respond to your posts either now or in the future, not because they hate you, not because they like you. Simply put, they don't care.
@SilentTrama They probably fear the chance that they may go to hell. 50/50. Either that, or come back as a slug who finds itsself in a salt packing factory.
@yellowcougar18 I read different parts of the bible. I'm not saying i believe it but what it says is an education if nothing else. I think a 50/50 chance are pretty good odds actually from the way i have been led to understand it. Personally, i would think the odds are a lot lower.
@Yanma Yes it is an education if you think about it. It is a point of view and looked at as such it does have its interest. I put it in the same catagory with the 3 little pigs and snow white. As for logic, we all know that logic and bible has never got along and i never said anything to the contrary. The whole thing is a crock of shit, a well written one and that is what makes it interesting
@SilentTrama hmm...the only educational value religion would have is that you would understand our retarded history and all it's wars. and that's the only educational value religion SHOULD have...so I agree with you in that respect...other than that...religious ppl need to be shipped off on an island somewhere for good.
@mongolenpup Can't say i blame you on that one. Too many double standards. They talk about god and believe in the invisible man yet if you mention little green men from mars, lost city of Atlantis, or aliens building the pyrimids your crazy.
"if you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt....? " talk about getting to the heart of the issue, brilliant!!!!
@jamespage1680 I wear one because I don't want to give cops the excuse to extort money from me, in the form of a "fine", which is then used by the state to hire other cops to extort more money from me for violating other statutes.
It's all a big racket, people. Your only way out is when you're six feet under. Pay your extortion money to the IRS, cops, judges, the DMV, county property taxes, etc. Good luck coming up with enough money to do it, or they'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget
@beckner4200 ...and you're doing pretty much what every other Bill Hicks Bore does. So they both talk about religion? Big deal. It's one of the major irrationalities of human existence. And by the way, people were criticising religion long before Bill Hicks. Get over it, maybe read a book some time.
Get over your self asswipe. I don't care that Stanhope "Borrows" a lot of what Hicks said, word for word. Bill is dead, but his legacy lives on. I find Stanhope very entertaining and he's in my top 5. My opinion has nothing to do with reading books, and i've yet to see a book in the library solely based on Doug Stanhope and Bill Hick's contrasting repitoire of comedic topics. If you're just trying to bait me, you better get a better grip.
@beckner4200 I mentioned books because they will help you realise that there are very few truly original ideas. Borrowed "word for word", eh? Not quite. Bill Hicks' legacy does live on, in comics who also use comedy for social criticism. However, there are only so many taboos and enduring myths that can be punctured. By making him derivative of Hicks, you undermine his value as a peformer himself. Show me the Bill Hicks jokes about Myspace or immigration.
Jesus was just a public speaker (rather like Doug), he was a profit (and I think he died when he was 32). He never actually said "Follow me", he said "Do as I do, if you want" or "write a book about me"
He didn't say build and open up all these houses and call them churches!
gotta love that there's a "...and I'm a mormon" video featured on this
mrmatt528 4 days ago
Born naked. Die naked.
AfroGaz71 1 week ago
Wisdom.
Grishnackolyte 2 weeks ago
That was beautifully said
Dreamichigo1 2 weeks ago
i dont think ive ever heard 'cunt' said with an american accent before.
Shabz131 4 weeks ago 5
@Shabz131 Cherish it, friend.
DeePhlat 2 weeks ago
@DeePhlat yeahman, its good!
Shabz131 2 weeks ago
Yo I just uploaded 2 more of Doug's albums to my channel, go check them out. Its the albums "From Across The Street" and "Oslo: Burning The Bridge To Nowhere".
Allanlima213 1 month ago
i fuckin love that guy that puts another beer on his stool
MoonPisces029 1 month ago
I agree with him
IntrovertedLuddite2 1 month ago
@ dave19711998 that's a good question and one I've thought about alot after watching this video.
hearns00001 2 months ago
I have been thinking the same thing for years. If heaven is so great why are we afraid to die?
dave19711998 2 months ago
@dave19711998 Because what if your wrong? If you consider how many religions there are, the chances are quite small that christianity is right. But if you think about it, suicide bombers don't appear scared of death. Coincidence?
18booma 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Yo i uploaded Doug's album SICKO, Check it out. I have all of his albums so ill most likely upload all of them.
Allanlima213 2 months ago
yeah out of 500 one line was referenced. i won't deny it i love that line. tell me anything else i've stolen. i'm pissed at christianity because any believer is spitting in the face and dancing on the graves of the millions of people who's deaths it's caused. and the stupid cult has an impact on my life every single day, in a bad way. it's also slowing down our evolution. you can talk to an imaginary friend, but us normal folk stopped doing that fairly early in life
MagicMalky 2 months ago
Oh and by the way, not that I care or anything, but since you felt the need to tell me that you were a better person than me I just wanted to let you know that good people don't usually call total strangers fucking idiots. People suck by the way. It was all people under the guise of Christianity that did those things you describe. Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, and Kim Jong Il. All atheist. By the way stereotype, how awesome am I that I still have my beliefs, but I can listen and laugh this.
Jjmcg112 2 months ago
@Jjmcg112 One can't use their atheism as an excuse to do something like a believer can with religion. That makes no sense. "My actions are justified because no gods told me to do it". What?
slashingraven 1 month ago
@Jjmcg112 Religion muddles the brain on moral choices, and marginalizes one's internal conscience or awareness of their action's consequences by telling them they're only good because of their religion.
So not only does it provide a cover by which bad people can do bad things, but by instilling a dependency on an invisible, unknowable being for their morality, it can confuse good people into doing bad things as well.
slashingraven 1 month ago
fucking idiot
MagicMalky 2 months ago
@MagicMalky See what I mean. You're so militantly atheist that you're aggressively trying to convince me that I'm wrong. It bothers you that I believe in God so much that you wrote 500 words in response to my stupid meaningless comment. If you're so independent why are such a stereotype? Nice Joe Rogan ripoff by the way. You tried to change the words a little, but I still caught it. I could probably tell you which book, show, movie, or comedian that you got your independent thoughts from.
Jjmcg112 2 months ago
I may be the only Christian Doug Stanhope fan on the face of the Earth. Christianity gets a bad rap because of its shitheads, but don't hate the faith. It is truly beautiful in its essence. I find it humorous that atheists are a group now. They're religion in that they're an anti-religion. And now they identify with each other as atheists. I'm going to start identifying myself by things that I don't believe or do. Anyhow, the Capn' Crunch thing was hilarious.
Jjmcg112 2 months ago
@Jjmcg112 christianity gets a bad rep because it has caused more torture, murder and evil then just about anything else in the history of humanity. the vatican has enough money that it could end world poverty many times over, but chooses to keep everyone suffering. yeah athiests are a group. the group that thinks. we stopped believing in santa and stupid shit like that when we developed the ability of independent thought. christianity is nothing more then an ugly cult
MagicMalky 2 months ago
@Jjmcg112 it is not a religion, as religion is the study of god. you blindly believe ONE book that was written by men thousands of years ago. that is not study that is blindly believing one book. get out of your cult. i do good things because i want to help people. you do because you're scared of an imaginary friend. that makes me a better person then you. smoke some weed, look through a microscope, and watch some space documentaries or something
MagicMalky 2 months ago
OM fucking G..... ape shit once again
rcacad 2 months ago
BEST STAND-UP ON THE PLANET! AMAZING LIVE!!!
gueneemc 3 months ago
Very much reminds me of Bill Hicks, like a drunken version of Hicks. Before your head explodes, I'm not saying he's ripping off Bill, I'm just saying he reminds me of Hicks.
Prka01 4 months ago
@Prka01 You could argue that Hicks is very similar to Sam Kinison but it's like comparing all black comedians to Richard Pryor. Hicks and Stanhope just have the same style of comedy, as does George Carlin.
begood20000 3 months ago
3:34
the best quote ever
jjtheslayer69 4 months ago
Awesome
Benable7 4 months ago
Pilgrim
4theconfused 4 months ago
back of fucking cap'n crunch... lol
thecheesburgler 4 months ago
@ScottishNonBeliever There weren't many atheists during the Spanish Inquisition because they would have been tortured and killed! I agree with you that some atheists are morons, but so what? At least they aren't morons who are against evolution being taught in schools or gays having equal rights. At least they aren't bombing abortion clinics or flying planes into buildings so they can get into heaven. Get over yourself, man.
LuckilyHeDied 4 months ago
@ScottishNonBeliever And really? As an atheist, you're going to bitch about more people calling themselves atheists? Give me a break. Sounds like you just want something to complain about.
LuckilyHeDied 4 months ago
@ScottishNonBeliever The masses are all atheists? Open your eyes, guy. The fact that people are "sheep and don't think for themselves" is precisely why religion is STILL rampant. Atheism isn't the norm.
Some people are starting to wake up, and you seem to only think it's because it's "the norm" to be against religion.
LuckilyHeDied 4 months ago
@ScottishNonBeliever ...or that's a big load of bullshit that you just made up.
LuckilyHeDied 4 months ago
Wow just found out about this guy, he's great. If you like him check out Bill Hicks, Louis CK, carlin,and Bill Burr if you havent already.
BigkKinny 4 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20
you say that atheists "go all over the place, imposing their beliefs onto other people"
Correct me if i am wrong but isnt Atheism merely AN ABSENCE OF BELIEF.
How can that be "imposed" on anyone.
Your not refering to atheism, your refering to anti-theism. Its a different thing.
An antitheist would argue that they are fighting against religion being imposed on them everywhere. For instance:
Religious people are the ones flying planes into buildings.
SuperGomez2000 5 months ago 5
did anyone see him on louie a couple days ago? hes a fuckin kickass actor.
streetlight482 5 months ago
If you're a Christian, go in your house, watch American Idol, and let us thinkers do the math to save your fatass for when you get cancer from being a fat fuck.
aegisfate117 5 months ago 2
@ScottishNonBeliever In other words, a major part of all these so called atheists are almost as equal as some conservative, religious bastards who don't know a single thing about tolerance, and who go all over the place, imposing their beliefs onto other people.
zlajacrnjak20 5 months ago
@ScottishNonBeliever agreed! The world is becoming more and more interconnected, and now, thanks to the internet, we have an opportunity to meet other cultures and people with totally different mindsets than ours. What we need know the most is tolerance, and I really haven't noticed atheists promoting it too much.
zlajacrnjak20 5 months ago
a poor mans Bill Hicks
Andalfe 5 months ago
Doug Stanhope is my God.
BoreyKelew1992 6 months ago
So, the best way to argue with religious nuts is to convince them that they themselves don't REALLY believe in EVERYTHING the bible says, or are THAT willing to actually die in order to see if there's a Heaven.
Well, right on.
rabidrabbitshuggers 6 months ago
Good thing that most religious people are fairly hypocritical. Just think of the sheer volume of Christians who'd be sued into the poor house if everybody took Jesus' legal advice seriously. That is, if they had any cash left after following his economic policies...
Rabboleth 6 months ago
I agree with him, for the people also agreeing with him too, stop enforcing the idea. Faith is a term with no logic or facts behind it, trying to convince them is like telling a brick wall to move. And for the religious people, my answer is no, and it will always be no. So don't show up at my door at 8:00am with a pamphlet and a speech because all you will find is a very grumpy guy with a 44. revolver.
Roulette515 6 months ago 16
uncomfortable guy at the front made this videos for me.
bonzibonzibonzi1987 6 months ago
tl;dw, this guy hates religion, or at least pretends to for the sake of comedy.
Is this the sort of comedy of which you have to relate to his "persona"? If so, then everyone who enjoys his material are ignorant, narrow-minded fucks.
What, you disagree with me? Sorry, I'm just too liberal and educated to understand the humour in the unfounded bashing of another's beliefs.
DragoonBoom 7 months ago
@DragoonBoom I hardly see how criticising 2000 years of a war on critical thinking and intolerance constitutes "unfounded" bashing. I'm a liberal as well, so don't give me that shit about how you're "just too liberal". You're not too liberal, you're too stupid. You're one of the liberals whose head has been so pumped full of pretentiousness that you've become tolerant towards organizations founded upon intolerance. Tell me, what did Doug say that was "unfounded"?
davethehostage 7 months ago 2
@davethehostage Ah, the internet; where one can spout their uneducated opinions (and to their extent, vent their feelings) without fear of retribution due to anonymity.
DragoonBoom 7 months ago
@DragoonBoom And of course, you respond with something other than an answer to the question I posed. And what's more, you refer to my opinion as being "uneducated" without providing any rationale as to why. I have a feeling you'll tell me it's because I'm not worth your time (although it seemed to be worth your time to post the comment in the first place), but we both know that you're choosing not to answer because it's your argument that's "unfounded" - not mine.
davethehostage 7 months ago 2
Nah this is the comedy thats funny because its true... If you sit there and actualy ask yourself the questions about religion surley you cant still believe it and anyone stupid enough to believe deserves to be ribbed for being so fukin stupid.
stellpoons 6 months ago
@stellpoons Ah yes, I had forgotten that American public schools do not teach religion.
May be the explanation to all the bigoted atheists in America. How bout instead of attaining to the (fundamentalist) religion of not having a religion, how bout just not giving a fuck and letting others believe that there's someone looking out for them, even when they're alone, even when times are shit.
Religion isn't bad; it gives hope to others. What has atheism done, apart from worshiping science?
DragoonBoom 6 months ago
@DragoonBoom Britain actualy and i went to sunday school religious school from the age of 6-10 i was pushed in to being a nice religious boy from a very young age but unfortunatley that god that dont exist blessed me with a brain and even at the age of 10 onwards when i finished it i never took it as truth.
But thats the irrelevant point.. what you dont understand is religion creates difference between people and the biggest atrocitys to ever happen have been udner religon.
CRUSADES
stellpoons 6 months ago 2
@DragoonBoom You obviously have a bit of a god complex yourself because you seem to think everyone is less educated than you just for venting a differening opinion.
At the end of the day i wasted 4 years of my young life to religion and you know what i aint gonna waste anymore of my life to it because il make my own path and then die rot in to the ground and cease to exist forever. because im not nieve enough to think i go floating up in the sky to see my maker.
save yourself
stellpoons 6 months ago 2
@stellpoons Bagagaga
DragoonBoom 6 months ago
simply genius
JUANO510 7 months ago
havent I heard this bit from another comedian?O_O
dpsrush 7 months ago
@dpsrush Seems like Bill Hicks said something like it.
Largo64 7 months ago
Between 1:05 and 1:23 check out the girl in the white shirt, in the bottom right. It looks like Doug's words are just carving their way into her brain.
SilvrDragon52 7 months ago
Doug stanhope, the only badmouthed, drug using and fucked up alcoholic I would gladly leave my kids with
larzinator1988 7 months ago 68
@larzinator1988 he might have them out selling pot or teaching them to make a homade bong BUT it would be enlightening none the less
rcacad 2 months ago
@larzinator1988 I told you he was adorable.
worldslinger81 2 months ago
@larzinator1988 Amen!
MrLortab10 1 month ago in playlist doug stanhope {miscellaneous}
While some may be a bit funny, most of it is not too logical.
jrock6467 7 months ago
you'd think doug stanhope would have built sufficiant reputation to have Christians, muslims, retards, jews and woman all stop turning up to his shows. what do they expect?!
aileanwazere 8 months ago
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we will all find out eventually won't we.
Rustystud 8 months ago
Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.
whateverujoke 9 months ago
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@whateverujoke "Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."
Wow, you know the bit where he talked about religion corking its nonsense into people's heads with fear? You just illustrated it very nicely.
You people really are amazing. Spreading fear and truly believing it is in the name of love.
greyztone 9 months ago
@whateverujoke If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone at her. [John 8:7]
Do not judge, lest you too be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. [Matthew 7:1 & 2.]
If any of you has a son or a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? [Matthew 12:11]
The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath. [Mark 2:27.]
The4LA2Baker0 9 months ago
@The4LA2Baker0
God was made by man. Tumeg828:6,3:about 180 pounds. Because if its a quote it must be true, right?
The point I'm trying to make is that quoting a book with zero evidence to support it is just makes you look a jackass.
tumeg8282 9 months ago
@tumeg8282 LOL!
I was making fun of "whateverujoke". Clearly you lack the mental capability to comprehend what i was doing. Maybe you should re-read my previous comment and look at his and try to figure it out. It will be good phrenic calisthenics for one who is obviously lacking routine intellectual stimulus.
Commenting on something you are clearly ignorant in regards to just makes you look like a jackass.
The4LA2Baker0 9 months ago
@The4LA2Baker0
Oh look, ad hominem, original.
Anyway ill admit this was my bad, i meant to reply to his post. So how about we cool our collective jets and just agree that whateverujoke is more useless than tits on a nun.
tumeg8282 9 months ago
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@whateverujoke shut up faggot
billj500 9 months ago
@MrDorkusMaximus Tinfoil hats out in force today
kinghfb 10 months ago
powerful doug stanhope...
oilusboyne 10 months ago 4
Spirituality?
mootj87 10 months ago
@snifxx0
Many do.
DelbyC 11 months ago
lol religion
StOnion 11 months ago
do you hear the great news? lightning struck my baby.
hahahaha.
ShroudedInVeilz 11 months ago
Wow, why did I assume this guy would be really good? He's a poor man's... ehm, comedian.
GalacticCowboy 1 year ago
@GalacticCowboy soo why are you talking to yourself via youtube comment? oh, cuz ur a fuckin loser
radioheadisamazing 11 months ago
@radioheadisamazing I'm a loser? I don't have to insult people for no reason so I think you're the loser you braindead idiot.
GalacticCowboy 11 months ago
@GalacticCowboy you don't have to insult people for no reason? is that right? lol
radioheadisamazing 11 months ago
@GalacticCowboy Try Gallagher
PokerorDie 10 months ago
fuckin love this guy!!!!!!!
kelz2801 1 year ago
None of this means anything.
Did you know that drunk driving is endorsed culture? They just want you dead.
I don't own a car. And to be correct, you don't own a life. That is what he said.
Clownspike77 1 year ago
fear is a third eye blinder
fear mutates the dna and makes us easier to control cos we become brittle - love happiness and not giving a damn makes us pliable
thats why they teach fear - cos it creates good sheeple
and the pasteur leads his flock - ha ha - what a joke
it is morally wrong to teach people that one can attain spiritual freedom (redemption - negative word again in christianity) vicariously through another's human sacrifice and its immoral to teach this shit to children CH
timewilltell7 1 year ago
They're in a better place, yes but people cry because they won't see them again until they make it there. "HURRR DERRRRRRRRRR" <-- This is all the clip said to me.
krunkmike369 1 year ago
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Most atheists are more aware of religion than those who practice it, i know more about christianity than my friends who practice it... its all about fear. those who totally understand the use of religion would for sure become atheists as they should in be disgusted by the hypocritical lies in it...
Channypogosticks 1 year ago 5
Lol at the old cunt leaving early.
bigwillxxx2 1 year ago 52
@bigwillxxx2 lololol
EliteDoomer 1 year ago
FFS, that's hilarious!
XD
Bear5177 1 year ago
3:26 you can tell who is Christian and how uncomfortable they are being forced to think
benniquaid 1 year ago
Stanhope Rules- Comedians are hip to this Religious Bullshit- Why is Dracula afraid of the cross ? Because he's allergic to bullshit .- Damn right- Human bullshit- Just an extension of humans big crappy egos along with their big crappy stools. We are just urinating ,defecating animals. People are too stupid to even figure it out. Except comedians.
vicsr66 1 year ago
I'm tired of being tolerant toward religious people, only to keep getting comments from them that I suck because I have no faith and stuff like that. FUCK GOD AND FUCK YOUR RELIGION, YOU DUMB, IGNORANT MOTHERFUCKERS! Even if there was a God, how could I know which one is real? I mean, there were at least 10000 Gods throughout human history. Hmm, which one should I choose?
zlajacrnjak20 1 year ago 116
@zlajacrnjak20 sooo true they just have such pathetic lives that they need something as crazy as religion to have something to live for
streetballer8675 1 year ago
@zlajacrnjak20 Preech auwn, brotha! Preech auwn!
Arcterion 1 year ago
@zlajacrnjak20 well said.
matttylove 1 year ago
@zlajacrnjak20 Dont choose any of them, FUCK ALL GODS AND RELIGION
FuckYouJesusChrist1 1 year ago 3
@zlajacrnjak20 Fuckin A!
wsiklogfh 8 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20 right on
TheSnather 8 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20
I vote for the Party God from Adventure Time :3
ViroXero 8 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20 you talk trash you know that !? Go get a doctor !
HoussineRafia 6 months ago
@HoussineRafia dear mister, please reread the part of my comment that was written with caps lock turned on. ;)
zlajacrnjak20 6 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20 Well, good for you ;)
HoussineRafia 6 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20 ................. Amen.
honkeymudderfo 6 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20 choose the one that is most relevant to you. I hate the term God, because it means different things to everyone. I'm not a christian, a muslim, a buddhist or anything - but something stirs deep within my soul that is love eternal. Perhaps this is what they mean? *shrug*
torment3d 6 months ago
@zlajacrnjak20 all of them muahaha
91Jefri 5 months ago
this guy is full of win
decoren45 1 year ago
Santa clause eligible-lol
canesrule96 1 year ago
this is basically if bukowsky louis celine and voltaire made stand up comedy.
dough stanhope is BETTER THAN MILLER AND THE BEAT GENERATION
ErikCartman 1 year ago
YES! I was eating Captain Crunch when he said this JOKE
saynotodrug999 1 year ago
Stanhope rocks. Jesus is mythology. Grow up Christian morons
spacebush 1 year ago 3
Again jojosmart, if you dont like Doug why do you keep watching his video's and leaving silly comments? I dont watch christian video's then leave comments about the things I don't agree with. Fuck off back to troll land you muppet.
bigbadbobob 1 year ago
@bigbadbobob ---Anger against the truth steams the unforgiving.
jojojosmart 1 year ago
@jojojosmart Fuck, you're a very annoying person. If you reply to any more of my comments I will make it my business to leave pointless messages all over your crappy page. Fuck off and take your acoustic guitar and stick it up your arse.
bigbadbobob 1 year ago
@bigbadbobob ---- Wow Mr. Censorship here. Who appointed you captian of you tube police. i think you need to attend anger management courses first.i don't know why you went to my guitar videos but I'm glad you like my playing. Bob, you are so big and so bad, I might have to leave messages of truth all over your mean page.
jojojosmart 1 year ago
i guess no one ever told this guy that alchohol kills brain cells. I guess he's killed so many, he's just lost.
jojojosmart 1 year ago
@jojojosmart I guess no one told you the bible was fictional, I guess you're just delusional.
lifesblood 1 year ago
@lifesblood -- I guess you've never investigated the truth for yourself and instead believed men who were decieved and managed to decieve you.
jojojosmart 1 year ago
@jojojosmart Sorry champ, they tried to brainwash me as a child, I spent 12 years in catholic school, only to think for myself and realize It's extremely outlandish. Hey, if you need to believe and talk to some mystical higher being to sleep at night, all the power to yah.
your stupid saviour would forgive Stanhope for all of his sins, and he could live eternal bliss in heaven... and with all of the wars that have been started in gods name, I'd assume heaven looks more like a mine field.
lifesblood 1 year ago
@lifesblood -- Sorry to hear about the catholic torture. hope you got out before you got molested. maybe some day when you search for the truth again, you won't be decieved by priests or aetheist comics. Life is in the blood.. Eternal life comes through the blood of Jesus Christ.
jojojosmart 1 year ago
@jojojosmart Omfg get off the internet you anti-development faggot. You have no right to be here, THE POWER OF LULZ COMPELLS YOU, THE POWER OF LULZ COMPELLS YOU! Go back to your Bible
Basram 1 year ago
@Basram -O. K. I'm going back to my Bible now. It's much better than the gospel of Stanhope. I'll pray for you.
jojojosmart 1 year ago
Doug No Hope
jojojosmart 1 year ago
57 Christians and counting...
Eggtruck 1 year ago
i was raised a 'catholic' also, but now you need to think about the real structure of power
J4YM5 1 year ago
the seatbelt bit is pure brilliance, doug is my hero :)
ceclovitch 1 year ago
I used to be a Christian, then i discovered Carl Sagan.
gan9e 1 year ago
@gan9e ...and became agnostic?
yellowcougar18 1 year ago
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gan9e 1 year ago
@yellowcougar18 Well thats kinda sitting on the fence isn't it? at one time i thought god, jesus the whole shebang was good, honest, real and fed my empty soul with self confidence as i was needing a mask for my insecurities, today as i look into the mirror i wonder about the most precious elements this universe has created, intelligence and consciousness and i see that in myself and others, so we are all "star stuff" indeed and the god i once looked for was always behind the eyes.
gan9e 1 year ago
Did you hear the great news? Lightening struck my baby! Ya, he's in a better place. God picked him. I told you he was adorable. God spared him that average 72 year sentece on this shithole planet...
BeauJames59 1 year ago
The seatbelt thing is a little weak, to be honest. Not everyone dies in a car accident, so why not wear the seatbelt to prevent an injury such as a cracked skull, or paralysis?
yellowcougar18 1 year ago
@yellowcougar18 because some of us are betting on the possibility that we don't make it. not that we want to die, but just want to leave some available options and scenarios open
nickypeeps 1 year ago
@yellowcougar18 learn to take a joke you stupid fuck
and TO HELL WITH ALL THE IGNORANT GULIBLE CHRISTIANS
adrewk 1 year ago
@adrewk First of all, the guy ain't funny. He's no bill Hicks, or George Carlin, or Richard Pryor. They were funny, and topical, and could easily make people laugh. He's a pretender.
Secondly, I can take a joke. I find you hilarious, for example.(Cannot use full stops, has no proper grammar, and the use of CAPITOL letters highlights your ignorance).
Lastly, you're calling Christians gullible, but you believe in hell. .~.
PS. Its spelled "gullible".
yellowcougar18 1 year ago
@yellowcougar18 1st....why do you idiots have to bring up other comics? what the fuck do they have to do with this guy being funny too?
2nd... i dont believe in hell, i not a stupid ass gulible, jesus worshipping, bible humpin fuck wad like you. i was being sarcastic/ironic, you dumb fuck, see.. thats why you didnt get the seat belt joke, your too literal. most likey dumbdified from religion. you should research the name richard dawkins.
and 3rd....FUCK YOU AND PROPER GRAMMA BEEYUTCH!!!
adrewk 1 year ago
@adrewk Guy is not funny, nor is he funny too. I'm theist, and that's it. Richard Dawkins (capitalise first letter of first name and surname) is a boring, dull writer and personality, who is so blindingly biased, he has the same personality traits as those he condemns. He backs down too easily, he's too smug and his writing displays all the amateurish problems of an amateur writer. Hitchens is a far more interesting and hard working writer. But he is dying, which, plainly, sucks. :(
yellowcougar18 1 year ago
@yellowcougar18 George Carlin was topical...yeah...right...you're an idiot. and let me be the first one to point out to you that nobody gives a shit about who or who you don't find funny...especially since you're an idiot.
mongolenpup 1 year ago
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yellowcougar18 1 year ago
@mongolenpup That is possibly the worst put down I have read, EVER, on youtube. Seriously? That is the best you can come up with? Plenty people care about my opinion and you obviously do too because you responded to mine (D'oh! on your part), hell, if yours had been constructive, I might actually care about your opinion.
Don't bother responding, I'm embarrassed or the both of us....>:)
yellowcougar18 1 year ago
@yellowcougar18 actually I just read the first 2 sentences and felt the slight need to tell you you're a dumbass...for writing high and mighty critique which isn't even accurate...you should be embarrased yeah.
mongolenpup 1 year ago
@mongolenpup Why state you don't care about my opinion, and then reply to my opinion? IT shows you care about my opinion. Ya understand the hypocrisy in that? Many other people don't care about my opinion, and fine for them. But they did not respond, and in doing so, they showed, quite bluntly, they do not care for my opinion. The same way many people may not respond to your posts either now or in the future, not because they hate you, not because they like you. Simply put, they don't care.
yellowcougar18 1 year ago
you make a valid point lol if heaven is so great you would think people would just be dieing to get in.
SilentTrama 1 year ago
@SilentTrama They probably fear the chance that they may go to hell. 50/50. Either that, or come back as a slug who finds itsself in a salt packing factory.
yellowcougar18 1 year ago
@yellowcougar18 I read different parts of the bible. I'm not saying i believe it but what it says is an education if nothing else. I think a 50/50 chance are pretty good odds actually from the way i have been led to understand it. Personally, i would think the odds are a lot lower.
SilentTrama 1 year ago
@SilentTrama
"what it says is an education"
Man, no it's not. I wish people would stop saying that the bible is in any way comparable with logic, reason and education.
Yanma 1 year ago
@Yanma Yes it is an education if you think about it. It is a point of view and looked at as such it does have its interest. I put it in the same catagory with the 3 little pigs and snow white. As for logic, we all know that logic and bible has never got along and i never said anything to the contrary. The whole thing is a crock of shit, a well written one and that is what makes it interesting
SilentTrama 1 year ago
@SilentTrama hmm...the only educational value religion would have is that you would understand our retarded history and all it's wars. and that's the only educational value religion SHOULD have...so I agree with you in that respect...other than that...religious ppl need to be shipped off on an island somewhere for good.
mongolenpup 1 year ago
@mongolenpup Can't say i blame you on that one. Too many double standards. They talk about god and believe in the invisible man yet if you mention little green men from mars, lost city of Atlantis, or aliens building the pyrimids your crazy.
SilentTrama 1 year ago
Doug Stanhope really tells it like it us. Too bad there are few people like me and him in the world. Whatever, fuck humanity.
666lebanese 1 year ago 3
@666lebanese no, fuck those people who pull humanity down into shit. challenge these motherfuckers to think for themselves and to question things.
we gotta do something, otherwise things will get worse
KilluaXIII 1 year ago
@666lebanese Hey, count me in too LoL!
LoiteringWithIntent 1 year ago
"Santa Claus eligible!"
Nicolas Adjuder
Author
Please Break The Law.com
papeluso 1 year ago
He does get some fine women at his show, dammit!!! :D
infinitesimotel 1 year ago
I've only known Doug Stanhope for a short time now and he is already one of my favorite comedians. This guy is fucking funny.
AtGiza 1 year ago
fucking epic lol
Ayko07 1 year ago
"if you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt....? " talk about getting to the heart of the issue, brilliant!!!!
jamespage1680 1 year ago 48
@jamespage1680 I wear one because I don't want to give cops the excuse to extort money from me, in the form of a "fine", which is then used by the state to hire other cops to extort more money from me for violating other statutes.
It's all a big racket, people. Your only way out is when you're six feet under. Pay your extortion money to the IRS, cops, judges, the DMV, county property taxes, etc. Good luck coming up with enough money to do it, or they'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget
MrDorkusMaximus 10 months ago
takes balls to do this in a room full of (most likely) fundamentalist christians
greyreview 1 year ago 2
@greyreview That is does,my friend.That it surely does.It takes courage to even speak the truth anywhere to anybody.It is just not done.
justcallmeassinine 1 year ago
I'm a hardcore Catholic, I'm NOT offended by anything I see here, and I don't wear a seatbelt.
mussman717word 1 year ago
Stanhope is pretty much doing Bill Hicks.
I won't complain because the word must be spread.
beckner4200 1 year ago
@beckner4200 ...and you're doing pretty much what every other Bill Hicks Bore does. So they both talk about religion? Big deal. It's one of the major irrationalities of human existence. And by the way, people were criticising religion long before Bill Hicks. Get over it, maybe read a book some time.
PausePerkins 1 year ago
@PausePerkins
Get over your self asswipe. I don't care that Stanhope "Borrows" a lot of what Hicks said, word for word. Bill is dead, but his legacy lives on. I find Stanhope very entertaining and he's in my top 5. My opinion has nothing to do with reading books, and i've yet to see a book in the library solely based on Doug Stanhope and Bill Hick's contrasting repitoire of comedic topics. If you're just trying to bait me, you better get a better grip.
beckner4200 1 year ago
@beckner4200 I mentioned books because they will help you realise that there are very few truly original ideas. Borrowed "word for word", eh? Not quite. Bill Hicks' legacy does live on, in comics who also use comedy for social criticism. However, there are only so many taboos and enduring myths that can be punctured. By making him derivative of Hicks, you undermine his value as a peformer himself. Show me the Bill Hicks jokes about Myspace or immigration.
PausePerkins 1 year ago
He was a prophet not profit
soatesuk 1 year ago
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Jesus was just a public speaker (rather like Doug), he was a profit (and I think he died when he was 32). He never actually said "Follow me", he said "Do as I do, if you want" or "write a book about me"
He didn't say build and open up all these houses and call them churches!
BestivalFan 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Jesus was just a public speaker, he was a profit
(and I think he died when he was 32).
He never actually said "Follow me", he said "Do as I do, if you want"
He did say build and open up all these houses and call them churches!
tinghaling 1 year ago
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tinghaling 1 year ago
"Do you really believe death leads to eternal bliss... Then why are you wearing a seatbelt?" Doug Stanhope
dominoeffecttheory 1 year ago 3
FOR ALL THE BEST STANHOPE CLIPS ON YOUTUBE, VISIT MY CHANNEL.
gcmb3790 1 year ago