I think I agree with you on Everything there! Gota love Syd for getting me here. One thing I would add is that despite Divorce and having your heart broken probably being one of the most painful things you can go through it does a wonderful job of showing you who you are, does that make up for the pain probably not, I know I ended up feeling like everything I had thought was real was a lie and like the last 10 years where fiction or even a total waste,but some things are learnt the hard way.
Hi, Melissa. I recently discovered you on LiveVideo (in LVbianSynic's Intimacy Series), so I had to come over here and meet you. It was nice to view your entire video and not just the excerpts Syd chose. =)
Hi Melissa what a great video, as someone who has yet to be intimate with a lady or even have a proper relationship this vid touched me.
I have a genuine fear that a girl won't come along and due my rare social outings online is my best hope, have made lots of female friends online and at work but most are attached.
I am positive my brother did not have his first relationship till he was my age and now married almost 8 years.
Yes 31 is still young and glad you have got through your divorce, it must have been a hard time, remember I am here if you need any support as a friend. Oh parents are 40 years married this week, see the vid I made if you get a chance. James x
Great video, it's nice to see someone who's taken the time to evaluate themselves and their take on relationships. I think it makes for a healthier relationship if you go into it knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are. Enjoy being single! (I kind of miss it some days...ok...most days.)
lol dont miss it too much.. being single gets really lonely, sure the freedom is great.. but the lonliness sucks. But you're right about the healthier relationships. One time my friend told me "you can be very independantly in a relationship" and ive never forgot that because its sooo true! Hiya Jillymsane its good to see ya here in my comments!!
I have to avoid videos, discussions and topics like this.
I have to avoid commenting as well.
Otherwise I'll end up saying something stupid like admitting that this video made me want to run and jump on you, wrapping my arms and legs around you and hug...hug....hug...you ok?...can you breath?...ok...good...hug...hug...hug...
Now I think that I'm single because I do fear intimacy. I keep telling myself that I like being single and I don't want to get hurt again. I have my routine and my porn so I don't need that certain someone in my life. But you said a lot of things I've been thinking, and now that I've heard them out loud I think I want to set myself up to get hurt again. Thanx Mel I'm really seeing everything in a new light here.
What a very personal vlog - kudos for sharing yourself like that with us. Agree that not giving your whole self to someone else is a good thing. You get more form a relationship when you stay individuals than if one gives themselves up and starts defining themselves in terms of the other person. You loose yourself - and have nothing to offer. Too bad it came at such a high price though.But looks like you know what you want and need now. And that is very good.
Well, I did give all of myself to him.. but at the same time I didnt take any shit from him either which is why I ended up divorcing him so I dont think I ever had nothing to offer, but I sure loved him with everything that I had and never thought that a break up would be possible
You sound like you're in a very healthy place right now. You've realized that you need to have boundaries and that's very big. I'm happy being single now, but it took me years to get to this point.
I think this is the most relaxed video I think I have seen from you Mellisa, and amazing because it's very difficult to be that honest with yourself let alone on camera.
The first love syndrome sometimes is more like an obsession, which sounds like what you experienced because it went beyond love but complete loss of self.
Isnt it funny that I get nervous infront of the camera when I want to make a stupid video about nothing but when I touch on personal stuff and feelings it flows like im chatting with my best friend
You are very intelligent and self aware and I pretty much agree with all that you said. I think there are varying degrees of intimacy as well as love. I also think you have to be self fulfilled and happy with who you are (while acknowledging your weaknesses) before you can really hope to have a meaningful relationship with someone else. This is definitely an intriguing and complicated subject (Syd is very good at that). It's pretty difficult to explore it in the comment section.
Melissa, This was beautiful. Ive felt a spiritual bond with you from the start, even though we don't talk alot. You are always in my prayers. Ive never left you Bible verses, I just want to share this with you.
Thank you Donny, I use to believe that verse.. but i'll be honest and say that I dont anymore.. love is powerful because its uncontrollable.. and that to me, is fearful
LOL well, its turns my stomach from nerves I guess.. I think about getting serious with someone and I get the nerve things going and it does make me sick to my stomach because its life changing
This is truly beautiful Melissa. Your honesty is appreciated.. I think it's hard when you marry your 'teen' love interest. I did the same thing, and it ended up a disaster.. Thank you for making this... We have a lot in common! Have a great week!
I think you're right about the teen love thing, its like you're so young that you completely fall blindly into everything thats going on without being guarded in any way!
That was so raw, and honest... and I couldn't agree with you more on so many of what you touched on. Especially on being single, love, and intimacy. You're absolutely right that it is a spiritual connection; it trancends the physical. Just the energy you feel being in the same room as the other person, or just the thought of them brings joy to your whole being, and feeling "safe" around that person. Hard to describe, as you pointed out. Anyway, good stuff - thanks for sharing. :-)
Oh you'd be surprised how much of you I still watch. Wait... that came out all wrong. LOL! ;-)
Yeah... moving on.
Seriously, it didn't feel like a 8:30 video. Like I said, it was so raw and honest, and I was so drawn into what you were saying, because I agree with it so much. Such as enjoying and being very comfortable in the single life, and not letting someone in because it's life changing... yup, right there with ya! :-)
Good to meet ya, Melissa. I sure do appreciate the vid response.
LOVE is the biggest word we have. Indeed.
I always think to myself that those who are attracted to the Fear Chronicles are a special breed of people- those who are not afraid to be challenged in their thinking around fears and certainly not scared of the darker aspects of our own beings.
Thanks for all of these very potent thoughts. I can definitely see how I can use this for the next Chronicle of the fear of intimacy.
Well you can consider me attracted!! I actually had a really easy time making that video for some reason and if you went back and looked you'd see i've been really camera shy for months now so I guess in a way I needed to say those things
I agree with you on many of these points. And I can relate to not wanting to just hand the biggest part(s) of myself to another person and that being a healthy thing. The more I contemplate it, the more I think I prefer the single life myself.
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sabithaperera 1 year ago
I think I agree with you on Everything there! Gota love Syd for getting me here. One thing I would add is that despite Divorce and having your heart broken probably being one of the most painful things you can go through it does a wonderful job of showing you who you are, does that make up for the pain probably not, I know I ended up feeling like everything I had thought was real was a lie and like the last 10 years where fiction or even a total waste,but some things are learnt the hard way.
CoZzMiX 3 years ago
Hi, Melissa. I recently discovered you on LiveVideo (in LVbianSynic's Intimacy Series), so I had to come over here and meet you. It was nice to view your entire video and not just the excerpts Syd chose. =)
1in1000000 3 years ago
Your sweet. I'm just alittle too intimate and personal.
debstef 4 years ago
Hi Melissa what a great video, as someone who has yet to be intimate with a lady or even have a proper relationship this vid touched me.
I have a genuine fear that a girl won't come along and due my rare social outings online is my best hope, have made lots of female friends online and at work but most are attached.
I am positive my brother did not have his first relationship till he was my age and now married almost 8 years.
James xoxo
bedoboy 4 years ago
wow, I guess everyones lives are completely different arent they? At least at your age, you will have more common sense than at 15!!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Yes 31 is still young and glad you have got through your divorce, it must have been a hard time, remember I am here if you need any support as a friend. Oh parents are 40 years married this week, see the vid I made if you get a chance. James x
bedoboy 4 years ago
how old are u?
nina262626 3 years ago
Great video, it's nice to see someone who's taken the time to evaluate themselves and their take on relationships. I think it makes for a healthier relationship if you go into it knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are. Enjoy being single! (I kind of miss it some days...ok...most days.)
jillymsane 4 years ago
lol dont miss it too much.. being single gets really lonely, sure the freedom is great.. but the lonliness sucks. But you're right about the healthier relationships. One time my friend told me "you can be very independantly in a relationship" and ive never forgot that because its sooo true! Hiya Jillymsane its good to see ya here in my comments!!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
I have to avoid videos, discussions and topics like this.
I have to avoid commenting as well.
Otherwise I'll end up saying something stupid like admitting that this video made me want to run and jump on you, wrapping my arms and legs around you and hug...hug....hug...you ok?...can you breath?...ok...good...hug...hug...hug...
Jeesh.
Somebody get the hose and get this dude off her?
tyeporter 4 years ago
lmao what a great visual
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Now I think that I'm single because I do fear intimacy. I keep telling myself that I like being single and I don't want to get hurt again. I have my routine and my porn so I don't need that certain someone in my life. But you said a lot of things I've been thinking, and now that I've heard them out loud I think I want to set myself up to get hurt again. Thanx Mel I'm really seeing everything in a new light here.
Justinmazing 4 years ago
lmao at least you've got your porn J.
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
What a very personal vlog - kudos for sharing yourself like that with us. Agree that not giving your whole self to someone else is a good thing. You get more form a relationship when you stay individuals than if one gives themselves up and starts defining themselves in terms of the other person. You loose yourself - and have nothing to offer. Too bad it came at such a high price though.But looks like you know what you want and need now. And that is very good.
dl737 4 years ago
Well, I did give all of myself to him.. but at the same time I didnt take any shit from him either which is why I ended up divorcing him so I dont think I ever had nothing to offer, but I sure loved him with everything that I had and never thought that a break up would be possible
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Wonderful Video! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
theDave1956 4 years ago
Well said! Glad you found Syd (shes awesome!)
Tobie2 4 years ago
Ya she seems like it, Im excited to get to know her!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
you are wise beyond yo years gurl.
take your time, stay with your plan
and trust yourself.
MsOpheliaPayne 4 years ago
Thank you Ms Payne I think i'll take your advice ;)
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
your response is closest to my actual thoughts on this topic. great answers!
KimOsh72 4 years ago
thanks =)
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
You sound like you're in a very healthy place right now. You've realized that you need to have boundaries and that's very big. I'm happy being single now, but it took me years to get to this point.
lolaknows 4 years ago
Its taken me years to get through everything too.. the divorce was a long time coming
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
I think this is the most relaxed video I think I have seen from you Mellisa, and amazing because it's very difficult to be that honest with yourself let alone on camera.
The first love syndrome sometimes is more like an obsession, which sounds like what you experienced because it went beyond love but complete loss of self.
LeSaMilano 4 years ago
Isnt it funny that I get nervous infront of the camera when I want to make a stupid video about nothing but when I touch on personal stuff and feelings it flows like im chatting with my best friend
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
You are very intelligent and self aware and I pretty much agree with all that you said. I think there are varying degrees of intimacy as well as love. I also think you have to be self fulfilled and happy with who you are (while acknowledging your weaknesses) before you can really hope to have a meaningful relationship with someone else. This is definitely an intriguing and complicated subject (Syd is very good at that). It's pretty difficult to explore it in the comment section.
rhythm7a 4 years ago
Ya thats true, thats why I made a video and it was sooo long lol She does great videos Im glad I found her!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Lol, well there's long videos and there's looooonnnggg videos. Yours are interesting and/or fun.
/suck up comment
rhythm7a 4 years ago
Melissa, This was beautiful. Ive felt a spiritual bond with you from the start, even though we don't talk alot. You are always in my prayers. Ive never left you Bible verses, I just want to share this with you.
1Jo 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear
donny71954 4 years ago
Thank you Donny, I use to believe that verse.. but i'll be honest and say that I dont anymore.. love is powerful because its uncontrollable.. and that to me, is fearful
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
WoW, u r really smart.
"The thought of a relationship turns your stomach". Funny!!!! Come on it can't be that bad lol.
Poker115 4 years ago
LOL well, its turns my stomach from nerves I guess.. I think about getting serious with someone and I get the nerve things going and it does make me sick to my stomach because its life changing
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
lol, O, Ok, I thought u meant it was sooooooo repulsive it turnes your stomach.
Poker115 4 years ago
This is truly beautiful Melissa. Your honesty is appreciated.. I think it's hard when you marry your 'teen' love interest. I did the same thing, and it ended up a disaster.. Thank you for making this... We have a lot in common! Have a great week!
ItalianStallionette 4 years ago
I think you're right about the teen love thing, its like you're so young that you completely fall blindly into everything thats going on without being guarded in any way!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Quite lovely my friend. Enjoyed your answers and insight. (=
nbwulf 4 years ago
Thank ya sir!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
That was so raw, and honest... and I couldn't agree with you more on so many of what you touched on. Especially on being single, love, and intimacy. You're absolutely right that it is a spiritual connection; it trancends the physical. Just the energy you feel being in the same room as the other person, or just the thought of them brings joy to your whole being, and feeling "safe" around that person. Hard to describe, as you pointed out. Anyway, good stuff - thanks for sharing. :-)
projectblogsphere 4 years ago
Hey thanks for watching an 8:30 video, I didnt think you watched me anymore so its good to know you do! :o)
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Oh you'd be surprised how much of you I still watch. Wait... that came out all wrong. LOL! ;-)
Yeah... moving on.
Seriously, it didn't feel like a 8:30 video. Like I said, it was so raw and honest, and I was so drawn into what you were saying, because I agree with it so much. Such as enjoying and being very comfortable in the single life, and not letting someone in because it's life changing... yup, right there with ya! :-)
projectblogsphere 4 years ago
That was wonderful Mel, honest & from the heart, big hugs hun :)
tallstevo 4 years ago
Thank you for your pm, you're a sweetie!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
From experience I can tell you that you are so guarded now, that you cannot be good to your next encouinter or to your future.
EmCSpiteri 4 years ago
Thats a fair assumption to make, but from my personal experience I can tell you that I will.. but the person has to be worth the effort. =)
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Sweetheart, there is no such person. He only exists in your endless hopes.
EmCSpiteri 4 years ago
:deep sigh: you're probably right
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Good to meet ya, Melissa. I sure do appreciate the vid response.
LOVE is the biggest word we have. Indeed.
I always think to myself that those who are attracted to the Fear Chronicles are a special breed of people- those who are not afraid to be challenged in their thinking around fears and certainly not scared of the darker aspects of our own beings.
Thanks for all of these very potent thoughts. I can definitely see how I can use this for the next Chronicle of the fear of intimacy.
U2bianSynic 4 years ago
Well you can consider me attracted!! I actually had a really easy time making that video for some reason and if you went back and looked you'd see i've been really camera shy for months now so I guess in a way I needed to say those things
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
I'm glad for that- interesting, too!
U2bianSynic 4 years ago
Wow Melissa, that was so heartfelt and honest of you! I've great respect for you in sharing all this. Love is more vast than mere words can define.
ladypn 4 years ago
That is so true Pam!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
Great response, Melissa! And you are right, hard to define "love". I almost find it undefinable...too large and complex to define.
downwithborgs 4 years ago
That is soo true!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
This was really honest and deep. I am truly impressed by your answers.
bnessel1973 4 years ago
;o)
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago
I agree with you on many of these points. And I can relate to not wanting to just hand the biggest part(s) of myself to another person and that being a healthy thing. The more I contemplate it, the more I think I prefer the single life myself.
Never say never, though.
:-)
OhCurt 4 years ago
I think I prefer it too, for right now anyway!
SimplyMelissa101 4 years ago