Destroy "yourself"

[shanarquia]

Idk who I am anymore, who I should be, who I want to be...idk anymore.

[FreestyleBrain]

paris hilton is not herself! she is a product by the world, especially the american world

[tuttifruttisummerluv]

Risa, I've watched ur videos for a while and I've always loved 2 listen 2 u. This is the 1st time that I have ever commented, this video is something that can speak 2 just about any1.

Many of the things u talk about have a lot 2 do with sociology. I feel that studying society can help us understand why we do, believe and act in ways that seem natural and normal to us. Ex-PH:breaks traditional roles of femininity. Traditionally, in our society women are expected act and speak in certain ways

[tuttifruttisummerluv]

bc PH breaks this traditional role by being blunt. Traditionally, women are taught to say what they feel but also provide positive feedback, so as to not hurt the recipient's feelings.

bc ph is blunt, many ppl do not know how 2 respond 2 her. They either respond with1) admiration or 2)confusion that turns 2 dislike bc they have no other way of relating their feelings.

sociology challenges us 2 understand that these assigned traditional roles are arbitrary and to change society for the better

[SladeMcGowan]

I was bullied a lot when I was in high school. There was not a single day that went by that elephant sounds were not made as I walked by certain people. The more I tried to get people to stop, the harder they tried to destroy me. If I ignored them, they always found new ways to attack me. I have always had a weight problem, due to a hormonal condition called PCOS, and even now at nearly 28 I still struggle.

[SladeMcGowan]

@SladeMcGowan The emotional damage done to me all those years ago has forever impacted my outlook. As a result, I struggle with self-worth issues and an inferiority complex. Anytime anyone says anything good about me, I struggle to believe it because for so many years, the opposite of me was said. I almost compare it to brainwashing in the sense that if you are told everyday that you are ugly, fat, and worthless, you tend to believe all of that, and it's hard to believe that you are important

[GooGoo32]

I totally agree with the concept that you're talking about. I actually started to dislike Hilton after seeing her comments in a candid video tape saying "nigger". Also, she's played the role of a ditz for quite some time so why be saddened when that is what people think of you?

Thanks for the book recommendation. Check out A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I loved that book.

[samantham111]

this made me put certain things into perspective. I have my group of friends and people who love me for me and they laugh when i do weird things and i love making people laugh but before when new people came into the picture i held back because I was afraid someone would think I'm annoying but lately I've been acting like myself and it seems like more people get along and laugh with me when i am my crazy self. This video just helped me be more sure of myself! so thank you :)

[embracinmyself]

I loved the Zahir

[donttsstop]

when you said you were i bully it made me like you less.

i don't mean to judge you cuz of something like that, i know you've changed and you probably wouldn't do it again.. but i was bullied for years when i was a kid, so i just have it in me to dislike anyone who's done to someone what those people did to me.

i like hearing you talk though, i find you really interesting..

[mad3uluk]

"If we are hiding any part of ourselves, and we are not telling the truth to the world, we are controlling what we want the world to see. We manipulate peoples perceptions because we are afraid of people judging us" ...........Risa, that's SOOO true.

[ParamoreIsSahweet]

i wish you wrote music.

[musikstar81]

Well thats something to think about. Fear of being judged by others... I am afraid, but I guess that Im always trying not to be, like, I still do the things I really want, but sometimes I dont say what I really feel or think. Its like censure my self. I dont like it, but Im afraid of offending someone, or dissapointing someone. I admire people who are truly themselfs always, I guess its just beeing free....

[AbsinthiaX]

I totally agree. I´m the same way. I know all of these stuff but I´m struggeling with it. I´m trying to learn myself to just be myself and relax and don´t be afraid. It´s hard. It´s really really hard. And I´m also trying to get to know myself because right now, I don´t really know who I am. But this was an awesome video. Thank u Risa for doing it.

[Unisexual]

I am attracted to your intellect, your ability to learn and grow for the better, and you are attractive as well. I love how you carefully choose your words to express your ideas.

[cherkas009]

ya but making others happy makes you happy sometimes. What do you think of scientology?

[gagirl1231]

I understand where you're coming from. And I really try to be myself around others and say what i'm thinking right off the bat, but sometimes i feel like i just can't, Like there's this one girl who i assciated with and at first i got along with her well. We were both very immature and i liked it that way. But then i had a huge fight with another friend along with the death of a very close family member and i guess i just sobered up & that's when i couldn't stand her anymore (cont. next comment)

[gagirl1231]

I would think about all of the things we said and did and couldn't help but think "why am i doing this? this makes me feel very stupid" and so i tried to just kind of stop assoiciating with her as much. But that didn't work, she just became even more clingy. And i kept trying to think of ways to tell her how i felt but i couldn't. I have now moved three states away from my home town and i have never actually told her how i felt and this makes me so ashamed at myself for letting that hapen.

[HippyL0ngst0cking]

Sometimes words aren't needed IMO. Actions do the speaking for you. You outgrew her, plain and simply. There's nothing wrong with that. It happens. We all walk our own journey at our own pace in life. And it becomes a lot more beneficial to a person when they can learn to identify those on the same level as them or those above them, that they can learn from and be inspired by. It may sound cold, but if you have an inherent sense that someone is "dragging you down" they probably are spiritually.

[gagirl1231]

thanks for the help. This is why I love this channel so much. It's really nice to be able to listen to your ideals and at the same time be able to share mine in the comments as well. You are a very wise person, Risa and that's what, in my opinion, makes you so admirable. Ever since I've started watching these videos, I've tried to be more open and less judgemental, so thanks for making these videos. You're a real inspiration!

[STARDORKS]

Russian and china are buying up space in the gulf of mexico so they can start drilling in the future! but obama says we are gonna start doing things with out oil! WTF???

yea it sounds good, but Russia is Godless and they are into Islam, They are working with Cuba?? little mini fascist communists??

Gulf of mexico is right in out bckyard??whats up with that????Thats why they distract us with things like the death of michael jackson(who is a false christ/idol)

[STARDORKS]

Let me say, that if this one world satanic communist dictatorship get our heatlhcare and starts saying they are gonna do everyting electronic, and come saying they wanna chip everybody, they are gonn have to kill me off.

just like in the prophecy.

i will lay down my sword and let them destroy my carnal body. For this earth is not my kingdom. The devil(the serpent, dragon) wants to keep as many dumb humans asleep as they can. Thats why they are making all these "throwback" movies,

[STARDORKS]

i didnt always have this problem. but since i have denied myself a car, made a covenant with Lord God, and walk in the teachings of JEsus, i have almost become an outcast.

i tell you since i stopped having a car, everyting changed.

talk about people conforming to what "somebody" else wants.

all these people have bveen turned into little drones for the one world satanic communist fascist government.

They are pushing globalism down our throuts with this obama character!

[STARDORKS]

I do not go out to clubs or other kinds of social places. It's not so much that i don't want to, it's that when i do go i have very bad social anxiety, and i look around at all the people and think to myslef, holy hell, these people are heathen!

the girls dress like whores and abuse their good looks, and it really just creates anger and frustration, and all the guys that the girls like are all these little gay twirps with girl hair cuts,

i feel so free when i get away from the anarchy.

[meiastar]

Wow. I agree with everything you said, and that part about manipulation at the end I've never thought about before...it sure gave me a lot to think about! I always try so hard to be nice to everyone and please everyone, and all my friends are strong women who say what they think, as if by being friends with them I can tap into their realness. I have difficulty with the guilt that follows saying what I think though. I don't know what to do with that.

Have you ever read about the enneagram?

[HippyL0ngst0cking]

@ difficulty with guilt - that's you, not accepting yourself. When you accept, "this is what I think, who I am, and that's ok", the guilt will disappear. It's something I'm very much still working on. Though I may be more outspoken than some people I know, by the same token, I hold back A LOT in fear of hurting someone's feelings. But, when you live in fear, of someone else's reaction, that controls who you are. In my own journey I'm trying to actively embrace that if I feel like sayin something

[HippyL0ngst0cking]

chances are it's something that NEEDS to be said, whether or not it can be interpreted as "mean" - chances are it's something a person needs to hear - quite possibly because they dont perceive themselves the way you do ad chance are, you see them a lot more clearly than they see themselves and you telling them "____" often, surprisingly could be to their benefit. Does that make sense?

[meiastar]

Thank you. I really needed to hear all that! This speaking my mind and opinions thing is something I've been working on all my life. Thank you again...I've been thinking about what you said a lot since last night, and I think it will help me to make some headway. :D I tend to be afraid that I will lose my friends if I "annoy" them with my opinions, but that's not based on reality. If they are my friends, they will be forever. I LOVE what you said about what guilt really means.

[bebepinkdoll]

I <3 your inspirational videos!! Keep it up! Such a great insite on life you have.

[melikeyyeah]

This is so true...come to think of it, people really dis/like me because I'm outspoken, quirky, and opinionated...and, well, unashamed. Today, I went to a school to see what it's like (I start 9th grade [again] in September), and all the kids there (soo nice!) who liked me--and, in retrospect, people from my past who dislike[d] me--said, "You're so weird!" And I LOVE being weird. It's my pride, y'know?

On the flipside, the reason why I ever "bully" people (shamefully :/) is because I don't...

[melikeyyeah]

...Understand why anyone else would like them, or even the person him/herself. Oli Sykes? Supports PETA, produces mediocre music, is part of a few trend I hate; therefore, he's a faggot. Perez Hilton? Revolting, annoying, features PETA ads on his laggy website; therefore, he's a scumbag. But I have radical views (pro-ACLU), can't play an instrument, have a distinct (if not original) sense of style, have some strange habits, talk too much, and...uh...I like the ads that pay for my free stuff.

[melikeyyeah]

Everyone's a hypocrite, and I accept that, and recognize it in myself. I try to not be...but it's impossible. Eh. I just dislike when people deny when they're self-contradictory.

If I dislike someone [to any degree] for no certain reason, I make up an insult on the fly, and tout it as wit. If someone does the same to me, I suck it up, laugh it off, and cuddle with my dog. :3

[delicateroses]

your right! its hard for us to stop catering to that invisible audience. we try and try to be liked to find a place in this world if it doesn't make us happy why keep living at a dead end of unhappiness!

i used to be that girl that people used to pick on. the fat little shy girl and now i say i don't care if you will accept me or not. i will be who i want to be! i was afraid they would laugh at me because i am different!

congrats on finding your realism's! many people ever find them!

[rockerchick2719]

I could listen to you all day!!!!! I love these videos that you do!!

[dkclay]

I think if you reached out to the girl from high school to let her know how feel about the way you treated her, she's be glad to hear it. I believe that reaching out to those you have wronged allows both parties to heal and move on.

That said, you are a wise woman. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[SugarFreeTV]

so insightful @ "living in the moment" "paris hilton" and my heart broke about the bully thing because for you to admit to that and just open up i know must be hard!

[SugarFreeTV]

i'm DEF going to check him out!

[DanielleStPatrick]

I am curious to know if you finally reached out to this "facebook friend" to apologize or reconnect.

[xbatsxx]

i love what you said about paris. i agree. i love her. especially after watching that documentary. she's actually very smart.

and i think that you should talk to the girl you bullied. tell her sorry and tell her how you felt back then! you might end up being good friends! <3 love ya, risa.

[SarbuttX3]

I definately agree with your words, this is quite an inspiritanion video, and an eye-opener

[jenacorn]

It is all well and good to be yourself, but what I feel people really should do is take personal responsibility. Do not dance if you feel like dancing in the middle of an American history lecture, that is irresponsible and even more so rude to those around you.

When I was little, someone told me to treat others the way I wanted to be treated. And though it can be difficult and I may not always succeed, I try to live by that sentiment. I wish others did too.

[vanemileo]

Woooooooooooooooooooow I love the Zahir!!! amazing book!! good taste! Muahh kisses

[ut0pia88]

you are so right!! One philosopher who has pointed this out is Michel Foucault..the whole urging people to be individual when in fact if they were individual and different they'd be ostracized.. But the big question for me is...what would a human being be like without society's influence? take paris hilton, I don't think anyone is truly him or herself, everyone is a product of society. It's sad but true.

[leokat400000]

I think its so true about how we do lash out at people who can be themselves because in a since we want that but are not strong enough to embrace it. I've been working being myself but it turns out my mom doesn't like "the person that I have become" so she said that i either go back to the way i was or that im no longer apart of "her" family. So I told her that im perfectly happy the way i am and that i shouldn't have to change to get her to love me. but overall i am a much happer person.

[Siiiilkkk]

do you have kids? cause you seem to know a lot about parent's perception :)

[AMMOswifey]

My grandfather always instilled in me "To thine own self be true". I never was able to do that do to some forces in my life always trying to pull me down. It has only been in the last few years that I have finally come into my own and not really cared about what other people think. I have a copy of Dr. Maya Angelou's poem Phenomenal Woman on my wall and when I am feeling down I look at that and remember that I am a phenomenal woman in my own right and I can be me not what other people want.

[413078291]

This is beautiful and I love you =)

Also this is how I view my faith a little bit because its somthing outside of history and tradition; I don't regularly go to church or get involved in organized religion necessarily but I spend time deciding what I feel is true. Thats really important because the world is, as you mentioned, so full of people waiting to tell you how you should feel about everything and how this should be interpreted and how that is wrong... I feel you

[ketfrigg]

You have no idea, how alike we think. You said like ... everything that I would say in my video, if I made one on this topic.

You are just so amazing, I'm glad there are still people like you on the planet. You're really an inspiration to a LOT of us out here

[veronicahandleit]

One of your best♥

[Tinchabella]

The outer, visible part of the female genitalia is called vulva, not vagina. :-)

[Tinkerbaby321]

I thought this video was amazing and inspirational, im a huge paris hilton fan, and this is what i try to say to people every time they call her a slut or whatever!

I'm truly going to start embracing what you said. Thanks Risa, your the bomb!

xxx

[carohonk]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It makes me to think a lot about myself and it's very helpful

Love from Gemany :-)

[gloriababycc]

id like to say that the quote "u are ur own worst enemy" comes to mind... cuz while u may be focused on all the things that make ur friend GREAT... u cannot see things that ppl find in YOU great. ppl may be drawn to someone u know for so many reasons... but it doesnt mean they are drawn to you for other terrific reasons

[missmanda411]

i cant believe u were a bully risa. u have changed a lot. i agree on the paris issue too. thanks for the post

[stlxprincess]

drawn to a really great person, even if they arent the friendliest or most outgoing person. Its our nature. As far as the person in high school that you bullied, if I were you, I would write her a message telling her exactly what you told us. Not only will it clear your conscience, but it will cleanse you spiritually. She seems to be a big enough person to friend req you, I have a sense she will forgive you, and be understanding of your misgivings. I bet she sees you for the goodness in you.

[stlxprincess]

the truth about yourself when you are alone? Can you stand to be with only yourself for long periods of time? Do you spend a great deal of time working on your "image", the one you present towards others (both literally and metaphorically)? I think that even if we see people for the "character" they have created for us, most of us can see beyond that, whether they realize it or not. No one wants to be around a horrible person, no matter how friendly or accommodating they appear to be. And most..

[stlxprincess]

the video: I believe every person's outward demeanor is some sort of a manipulation. None of us shows society and our peers our true selves. The very essence of humanity stems from our insecurities and desire to be accepted. These are the traits which compel us to behave well towards others. What would be the point, otherwise? If we didnt care so much what others thought of us, there would be no reason to follow laws, be kind and thoughful, etc. The important aspect, imo, is: can you accept...

[stlxprincess]

near the "character" she portrays now. She was a cold, callous, calculating bully of a bitch, and I believe she maintains much of that persona. I think the reason she was so rattled by the release of the sex tape was she did not "craft" her appearance. It was just her with her guard down. Most teenage girls have done stupid things with a boyfriend. I dont necessarily fault her for the creation of the tape. But I dont buy she was embarrassed and ashamed. She loved the attn. As far as the rest of

[stlxprincess]

I take issue with the Paris thing. I saw your tweet and I told you I had DVRd the show, and I did. I watched it at it was very clearly crafted, imo. The thing is, I knew who she was long before she moved to LA and had decided to create this "character" (as she calls it). I have followed fashion for years and knew about her and Nicky from NYC papers and columns. I read an article at least ten years ago in Vanity Fair that followed the Hilton sisters around NYC for some time, and she was nowhere..

[sayanythingbr00ke]

Agreed on the Paris thing. She's not hurting other people, if anything she HELPS other people with the work she does with different charities, so why do we all hate her? Don't hate what's not harming.

[leelwj]

all of your videos have been so inspirational and resonate with me, thank you!

[ficklegal]

nice book..

thanks for sharing

[blushingsweetie]

You have so much to share with others that is beneficial!

[MyNameIsJanee]

And Im really proud of myself for that. Im a very depressed, sad, lonely, hollow feeling person on the inside and have always kept it that way so I wouldnt make others uncomfortable or so they'd feel sorry for me. So instead of being the sad person I generally feel like I am, I choose to portray the happy-go-lucky, care free girl I truly wish I was. I really turned to my art for the the release of all the inner anger and pain and plan to start writing to not ignore who I am, at my core.

[MyNameIsJanee]

Everyone at one stage or another goes through a phase of manipulation, trying to make the world/peers/whomever, believe something that is not true, or disguise a side of themselves for what ever reason. Its a fact of nature that i really dont know if we ever truly get past that stage. Im hoping at one point I'll be able to break through my barrier. I tend to be one of those people who will tell the truth straight up, even if its not something they necessarily want to hear.

[myeyeshadowisodd]

First off I just want to say thank you for this video. I often feel like I think too much and that I get too overwhelmed by my own thoughts about topics such as some you mentioned. It can be really hard to do what makes you happy and I see a lot of people myself included that finds some odd pleasure in being unhappy. It's a fear of the things that make me happy not satisfying me so I sometimes don't try. Hmm this video will be making me think tonight for sure.

[emilylengriffin]

I think it can be difficult sometimes to not fall into what other people want you to be.

[ChaoticShelly]

You know I'm a huge Paulo fan, we both are :) I feel the same on every aspect. You're so wise beyond your years, this is probably why I relate and like you so much, even love. You're dear. dear, dear(!!!) to me

[xosarahelizabethxo]

You have a fantastic personality, Risa.