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From: undeadbackbrain
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  • traci lords? pornstar?

  • Chesus Grist! What a ugggly movie-filmsh for zinema!

  • I have no objection to casting Traci Lords in this or any other role, with no prejudice against her because of what she did at other times in her career.

    I do, though, object to Dejah Thoris being blonde. She's a Princess of the Red Barsoomians, for cryin' out sake.

    Oh, and about Carter's hair? It's as described in the book, quit kvetching.

  • Yeah, I know...we could probably have a pointless debate on this...I'm just thinking in terms of the time period that the books are set in on Earth (post Civil War) and when Burroughs wrote them (very early 1900s), close-cropped wasn't Marine-cut.

  • You know....even these guys with a cheezy cast and crappy effects..could have at least read the books! Why so far from the original when staying with the original is simple and doesn't take away from the story. Carter is supposed to be a post-war Confederate officer...not some dude with a modern marine haircut....Dejah Thoris is COPPER RED...with BLACK HAIR...not blond.

  • @Hyllaty1 Actually, Burroughs describes John Carter's hair as "close-cropped." You're dead on right about Dejah Thoris' hair and skin color, though.

  • @Hyllaty1 yeah u r right.........i loved the book.maybe i`ll love the movie too

  • ihr braucht Jubiläumswürmer ich verstehe euch nicht.

  • This film has no redeeming features whatsoever...sucks big time from start to finish

  • I just died a little inside. Was this because someone is finally making the real deal? Of course, it's the asylum.

  • this is ok movie..watched the full movie in webmovietube for free

  • webmovietube is an amazinf website to watch movies online for free

  • Vasquez Rock = Mars

  • needz moar nudez...

  • @SinglCuteGuy mars needs nudes

  • i want to see this movie!! going to check out in webmovietube

  • asylum piiiiiiiiiiiiiciiiiiiiiiiiiiii­iiiiiiiiii

  • Who can stand against John Carter of Mars? Soldier from the deadliest war in the solar system. Who can resist Dejah Thoris, The most beautiful woman on any planet and Princess of Mars?

  • It would be much better if it was porno :(

  • bad movie . . . buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

    it got people interested in a franchise that has long been below the radar of the general populace, and to their pleasant surprise

    there is going to be a much better movie made in a year or two

  • @Ralokone Too bad Disney's making it.

  • @vgmaster9 I honestly dont see a problem with that, I think they will do a fine job.

    HAve you read the original tarzan, the professor was far goofier in the book than he ever was in the disney version.

  • @Ralokone Meh, I never read the original book so I wouldn't know. This could possibly be a hit, and even spawn sequels based on the originals.

  • lincreible no sera acaso john carter de marte?? xd justo unos dias pensaba en esos comics y me sale q estan haciendo la peli .. traci lords..en los creditos...

  • The Bold and the Beautiful :P

  • gag

  • For the vast majority of folks posting - this was released around the time that Hollywood was making a big screen version of John Carter - Warlord of mars By Edgar Rice Burroughs. These guys are cashing in early on what might be something pretty spectacular. As for the outfits...well it IS E.R. Burroughs after all. Most people in his books are waering very little. Check the source material out. Pretty cool stuff there.

  • @SamDeRe81 why doncha go hate someone else ya douch

  • traco lords in a princess leia slave costume? how is this not porn and why?

  • creators don't see it that the movie sucks or whats is going on on there mind!!!!!!!!!

  • They still make movies like these? This movie looks like it belongs in the olden days, you know those cheesy Sci Fi films that are laughable back then.

  • This movie sucks so bad it should be destroyed. It is a disgrace and Mark Atkins should be punished.

  • What a piece of rubbish, pure nonsense! Wait until the 2012 version comes out.

  • traci lords is soooo beautiful in gold nd shiny dresses wish i had her

  • This is a grade C movie at best. Crapy acting and directing is the best I can say for it. Go back to the drawing board and try it again. Edgar Rice Burrows wrote an excellent story so try and make the movie at least as good.

  • you call this an inspiration from avatar? LOL, this movie sucks balls with pornography in it.

  • @rolliecute1235 James Cameron used the plot - in part at least - of The Princess of Mars. The book was written decades ago though in 1917.

  • Wow, this looks bad.

  • That is one of the classics of all times!.. I agree, it looks like a porno!.. It is close to well done.. I am good with everything but the cheesy actors, cheesy acting, which typically indicates cheesy director... Couldn't they get better actors and directors?...

    Many sci-fi nerds would have paid 20 per ticket, for a well done version

  • Read the BOOKS...

  • Oh great, another porno lookalike.

  • cheesy trailer looks like this is going to be bad, this movie was filmed in the same park where star trek prequel and the original star trek tv series and planet of dinosaurs was filmed!

  • sweet I LOVE PORNOS

  • BECARE! B-Movie Alarm. Dont waste ur Time with this Shit...

    Worst Actors, Worst Dialogues, Worst Story and Worst Special Effects!

  • @giesskanne

    Sure...bad actors, bad dialogues, bad special effects....but the basic story is really good!

  • @szalkaisa so what you're saying is read the book lol right?

  • LOL. HUGE John Carter stories fan. Just from watching the trailer I can tell disappoint will abound.  Apparently whoever made this, never read the books, or even paid attention to the material. The Tharks look nothing like the Tharks, Traci Lords (Traci Lords is Traci Lords no matter what she's in) was never in the book, and John Carter just look ridiculus. When will Asylum stop making movies?

  • strano .....non sembra così orrendo come gli altri film dell'asylum

  • Where are the tharks?! They're supposed to be green... and Dejah Thoris red skinned.........

  • what a piece of shit :D

  • uhhh, just saw the first ten minutes... big fan of the books. have some complaints. A. John Carter was from the civil war, not a marine with a buzz cut, you know think classic romantic type B. Deja Thoris is not blonde, nor does she look like traci lords. She has dark black hair, red skin and blue eyes. think super sexy christina ricci or terry farrell with red skin, and wtf no 8 ft tall green skinned thnarks woth 4 arms, not impressed. hope disney does better.

  • meant to say with 4 arms...

  • i want my 53 minutes back

  • where can i dl this porn?

  • @TheHajir ROFL! XD

  • that ship looks like Jubba the Hut's ship and that woman must be a slutty version of Princess Leia

  • @BBradshawProductions

    Actually, those things/people you mentioned, were inspired by the books that this film is based upon. Check out the books, you will see what I mean . . .

  • For some reason everyone here is expecting a Hollywood movie as if Michael Bay directed this. Seriously get real. I'm not surprised, everyone is far up hyped movies assholes they judge everything else harshly. This is seriously not going to win awards but come on. They are a fuck load of worse movies, at least these guys try. I've seen a few of their other films. B movies for sure. But there are a ton of shit movies with cult status, why does that only apply to older films?

  • @EroguroTheater HAHAHAHa, honestly I think it would've been worse if Michael Bay made it.

  • Comment removed

  • visual diarrhea

  • This is the most stupidest movies in the world no one can jump that high ass hole! lol!

  • dont know why its not called john carter warlord of mars...or why the effects are bad ...but nice job fking up a great story

  • Traci Lords?

    Where have I heard that name befo-

    Jesus christ...she was a porn actress, they actually hired a porn actress to be in this movie!

    In a way its fitting I suppose, any actor who chooses to work with Asylum is basically whoring themselves out anyway

  • This movie should be erased, and never spoken of again!! I just spent five bucks to see it, and I feel like the studio kicked me in the crotch.

  • This movie obviously went back in time to inspire Cameron when he wrote the first Avatar scriptment in 1994.

  • @vulnerabledonkey it was the book that inspired it you fucking moron. Are you that fucking retarded? Are you capable of higher intelligent thought?

  • no shit. that actually made me laugh out loud.

  • 0.25 dohohoho Asylum you kidders, you :D

  • i have to say...having watched the movie in its final cut...( a friend rented it) I was disappointed. We were there during 2 days ( or should I say nights) of filming.

    But what do you want from a low budget film?

    I have to say that for the most part, with the exception of one person, who shall remain nameless) the crew and cast were wonderful, and we had a great time with them.

    And please...for those who insist on bagging on Ms. Lords, she has tried to overcome her past...let it go!!

  • I loved the books, and they have had a massive impact on virtually all forms of both modern Fantasy and Science Fiction... But still, this movie could have been far better.

  • I have to say that the book is amazing and I love it, but this movie sucks CRAP!!! I could have took some film slides and smeered my FUCKING SHIT ALL OVER IT, AND IT WOULD BE A BETTER MOVIE THAN THIS!!!!!!

  • I'm reading A Princess of Mars for my class its great!!!! I'm almost finnished :)

    I don't even like science fiction

  • Actually this yet another movie from *wait for it* THE ASYLUM!!!! Check it up on wikipedia. They make the worst bad movies on the planet.

  • what da hell is Traci doing there??Isn't she supposed to...you know...tungs tungs tungs

  • hhahah this is like d class movie LAME ...

  • haha xD B effects and the song sux..

    I wanna see it :D

  • Another stupid hyper non realistic sci-fi b-movie!

    Almost as dumb as the cataclysmal films which are so hip at the moment, because of the myth of the year 2012.

  • Gargantuan.

  • god antonio sabato jr is so hot.

  • he's a crappy actor though :)

  • I like Traci Lords in her element, but Dejah Thoris, like all Martians in the Burroughs tale, are red-skinned and jet black haired.

    The rousing romantic and endlessly inventive (devised radar in 1920, brain transplants in 1925, cybernetically-guided spacecraft in 1936) ERB continues to be crapped on by the quickbuck hucksters of Hollywood, from 1918 to 2009.

    Lucas stole the essential elements of STAR WARS from him, without credit (pawning it off on Joseph Campbell).

    Poor Edgar.

  • It this a porn movie? That girl really look like a pornstar

  • lol i know right

  • Its difficult to find the book Princess of Mars let alone the trilogy let along all 11 books. Most people who read them buy them on ebay. Just before Xmas the trilogy was printed in a hard bound book that I found at Barnes & Noble for about 15 dollars. I guess because of all the talk about the Disney version. It was great, with great pulp-style illustrations and great introduction/history of the series and Burroughs. Frankly if it weren't for that I would have been quite ignorant of the series.

  • This is a terrible adaptation of the book, but the scenes are accurate as far as the book is concerned. I think the Disney version won't fair too well either, not because of content, but because most under 25 wont read classic novels anymore (unless assigned) and they won't realize that almost all of Star Wars was lifted from the Mars series by Burroughs and the philosophy of The Force was lifted from Stuart Wilde. There's just a distasteful air of ignorance in most schools.

  • Its the only good asylum film. good meaning for a b-movie. and I like b movies so i did like this.

  • im gona watched

  • this low buget film seems like a high buget porno

  • lolollolo

  • Sabato Jr. has fallen so low. Lol. Poor guy.

  • What in the universe? Star wars meets porn... this looks like that pirate movie from digital playground!!! LOL

  • Connan meets Return of the Jedi

  • umm this is right from the old star wars movie, same bikini an ship... O.o oh my...

  • In the case of Star Wars most of it Lucas took from the first the John Carter of Mars books Princess of Mars, Gods of Mars and Warlord of Mars (hover craft, light sabers, Jabba the Hut, the Princess character, the use of the term Jedi, etc...all those came from Edgar Rice Burroughs books written 90 years ago). Maybe you need to learn more because you come off kind of stupid.

  • oh my, did i rattle ur cage? i just made a comment, an he goes around saying im kinda sounding stupid. excuse me for not knowing everything there is to know about starwars or john carter, i know what i like, an if anything interest me, i shall read it, but going around blasting every single thing u know about this topic, is wrong, with a simple, star was copied it from another book, give a direction to where to find the book an recommend it, its very simple an polite. so take care and have fun.

  • my tone was based on your uninformed snide remarks made early (and apparently other people thought so too). the point is don't criticize something unless you know something about it. i don't think this is an isolated incident in your case. also, we're talking about a 90 year old classic here, you may not have read it but the name Edgar Rice Burroughs that popped up in the beginning should have given you some clue. And if you weren't familiar with that name you're watching too many videos.

  • No, actually the scene with the scantily dressed princess in front of Jabba is a direct recreation of a scene from Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs written in the early 19th century. Lucas stole it from Burroughs. Try reading it, you'll love it.

  • hahaha

    this movie looks sooo shit

  • ☼↓☼ ♫♫♫♫♫♫

  • This is inspired by a true story

  • MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. is this a action movie? i thought i was watching porn.

  • @SHSephiroth not really just a really bad trailer for a cheesy scifi flick done by a low budget production company

  • @only257

    It's an Asylum production, of course it's going to be 1. A parody, or 2. A crapfest, or 3. Both.

  • @knoxvilleguy2 thanks

  • @only257

    Porno on Mars !!! & the " Mars " isn't even in our solar system.....

  • @knoxvilleguy2 you are an iddiot

  • looks like a porno

  • @TakeItOfffff it's not it is just a cheesy trailer for a cheesy movie dude!

  • @TakeItOfffff sound at 0:35 gives it a touch of bdsm ? lol... but yea looks like it might make an interesting tv series for a single season, but the actual movie looks like it had a terribly low budget.

  • @TakeItOfffff Uhhhhh....traci lords, DUHH

  • Cameron should sue their asses...

    plus, Traci Lords` scream is hilarious

  • Actually the estate for Edgar Rice Burroughs should sue Cameron. Cameron passed on adapting the 100 year old novels so he wouldn't have to credited anyone else, then basically rewrote the plot. Everything Cameron has ever made has stolen the plot from another source without credit.

  • 'I saw at once that she was extremely beautiful. She had a fine face with large dark eyes and long, black hair. As her guards led her away, she saw me for a moment. She seemed very surprised. Her face looked hopeful. But when I made no attempt to speak to her, her face grew sad and she looked very small and frightened. '

    A Princess of Mars ER Burroughs

    'Dark hair' you incompetents. While a few simple changes won't affect a movie its a worrying signal

  • so...some random guy lands on mars, aliens chain him up, and rape his woman....okay

  • meh

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