@Purge187 Hopefully that will get easier in the near future as there are more and more CF people, and its becoming increasingly more accepted. Also i wish there were more CF dating sites for people looking for a soulmate.
what is it to do with ANYONE else, if you someone doesn't want a child... to me its the people with kids that have the problems about people not wanting them. I think it puts them in an inferior place, because 70 percent plus just have kids for the wrong reason, the wrong thoughts. By the way NO ONE KNOWS GOD, wake up...
I don't understand why everyone else is so concerned about MY OWN choice to have children. You're not the ones that have to raise, pay for, and sacrifice your insanity and time for my offspring, so stay out of my uterus. If you are so concerned about my choice to have children then why don't you just have another one for me?
@unikornhole No. We do. It's called taxes. Job availability. Strained global resources. 7 Billion people is all ready in excess of the world's carry-capacity. Perhaps we live in a time where our moral/social responsibilities are different?
I don't want to be a parent. I believe that when women become parents we sacrifice much more than men do. Most inequalities in marriage are compounded by the time children come into the picture. Also, I want to dedicate my life to more fulfilling endeavors; writing, learning traveling and spending time with my friends and family. I can fully enjoy life without giving birth or raising children, because the activity just doesn't appeal to me at all.
@ubiquitousfacts there was no point in giving any excuses as to why you don't have children. you're giving the impression that you want one but refuse to sacrifice your own wants because of "inequalities " in your marriage/relationship. it's sad if that is what's stopping you from having any. if you want a child, then have one. if not, then that's good for you.
People refusing to have children are a new category of social individuals????!!!
Come on on what planet have you been living? Everyone should be able to decide on his own wether or not he wants to have children regardless of some American ideal :D
i do think CF people making judgements about what its like for others to have kids is a little far fetched. You can imagine what it might be like for you but what its like for me is my experience.
Deciding whether to have kids or not based on a journal article is a little far fetched too. I don't believe people choose CF for any other reason than they don't want kids. Using poverty, overpopulation etc is just grasping for "valid" reasons. "i don't want one" should be valid in of itself.
I don't need children to become a better person, or more mature. And many people who have children in my social group either did so accidentally, or did not have the intellect to think about their reasons. Also, Jesus still loves me with or without children.
Children are a blessing from God? Your God must delight in watching babies starve to death. Praise to those who chose Childfree. Shame on you who chose to bring children into a planet of limited resources to care for the masses. While your "blessing" sleeps comfortable, millions of babies are starving. And you justify this by saying you were "blessed?"
Don't have kids if you don't want them, the amoutn of times people have looked at me like I'm sick or something cause I don't want to have kids - if they want my womb to be used that badly I'll sell it on ebay!
As for these women blabbing away what if you're agnostic not sure if you believe in God they keep referring to it like everyone believes what they do!
I really like what the black woman (sorry, don't know her name) has to say. She actually seems like she's dicussing this and isn't actually going "Ah, against God! Children haters!" Like the older white woman seems to be doing (again, don't know names.)
That postcard was hillarious.
Also, I'm pretty sure God wouldn't mind if people who don't want kids don't have them. There's so many other things they can do for their community.
Children are not a "blessing." That is your opinion. Using your bible is a means to manipulate others. My choice to never have children was met by stupid, ignorant people who have not a clue. Pity that poor child born to you mothers who had children so YOU could feel complete. That child now has the unwanted burden of meeting your emotional needs and taking care of you in your old age. And you call ME selfish. YOU are the selfish one.
My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and have a 7-year-old daughter. We got crap from strangers and coworkers because we just have ONE child, so I KNOW childless couples are catching hell!
Seriously, it's a personal choice if couples want to have kids or not. If anything, we should STOP having kids altogether. There are sooo many kids in adoption agencies who need good homes...
@autismpete I agree. More people should adopt instead of having kids, and having ONE child isn't so bad. I'm an antinatalist and I am against overpopulation for moral and environmental reasons, but having just one child is nothing bad. My mom only had me and I don't mind that. Having one child is actually very commendable. It's a shame your co-workers and strangers aren't bright enough to see through their social stigma.
Where does it say children are a blessing from God? Millions of "blessing' children are beaten, sexually exploited, hungry and live in insufferable conditions. What a "blessed" life!!! If having children is the goal, why don't you adopt one of the millions that will die from famines, starvation and lack. Pity children born to those mothers expecting that child to "fulfill" their selfishness and take care of them in their old age. YOU are the selfish one, not the CFBC person.
There isnt always a reason for people not wanting children. Iv been around some wonderful examples of parents, I had a happy childhood also, but I just dont want them, much like I dont want a cat. No sinister reason, just do not want that life style. I like my life, my partner feels the same. Our life is not empty or dull, we do lots of fun things together. Its not a problem for us, so why other people have a problem with our choice is beyond me!
Yep, scary. There is no reasoning with religiously brainwashed individuals. There are not enough resources to care for the populace already here. Having more people will never solve the problem of lack. Yet, mothers glorify your motherhood status, which only adds to the growing problem, and insults my choice not to add to an already overpopulated planet by telling me it is some God's will for me to have children. Using your God's name to manipulate is sleazy.
You cannot fix stupid. Using religion to justify actions and attempt to control others is common amongst church people. Trying to reason with a religiously brainwashed person is futile.
"You should never be pressed into things by other people. You always have to go to God first." Isn't that the same thing? I mean, it's not like God himself comes down and tries to sell me a Bible.
No one should be forced to have children, by people directly or by societies' expectations.Not having children isn't selfish or cruel; if anything, having a child just to make yourself 'feel good' or 'be closer to God' is the more selfish and cruel thing. Childrearing is NOT mandatory.
Many people do not want to marry and have children because they are surrounded by bad examples of marriage and parenthood. Bad parenting is producing a generation of spoiled, ill mannered children. One cannot go into formerly adult, dignified nowadays without an obnoxious child ruining it for everyone present. Many adults have no internal boundaries established for public and private behavior and they pass this trait on to their children. I don't want to subject a child to the horrible world.
What the heck are the 40 reasons against children? Tell me, I didn't read the article. What are the benefits that you ladies seem to think are better than these supposed 40 reasons?
If you have kids YOU HAVE NO CHOICE but to say your happy to have children! Think about it! Is it socially exceptable to walk around saying "gee', I really regret having these little monsters"? Of course not! Even if its true. Can a parent even admit to themselves if they regret it? Thats why your opinion can never count to those who don't want kids. You MUST say you "love being a parent" YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!
This is not the world we were intended for, nor marriage, nor children. So we choose.
@embracingreality LOL Yes people walking around saying " I can't believe I had a child. What was I thinking ?" Actually I have heard it on social media/the internet many times and if you ask psychologists,they will tell you they have heard it many times in person. And people with kids HATE couples that don't have them.
@justcallmeassinine I saw such post on "WebMD" a few times but never have I heard anyone say it openly, though some men have eluded to their regrets in my presence.. I think your right about certain parents "hating" singles or even marrieds without kids and our lack of responsibilities, sacrifices, obligations, potential burdens of kids. I don't dislike kids, just don't need any, thanks.. If kids are so great why are their parents so jealous of my freedom and pockets full of cash? Hmmmmm...
This is an interesting discussion and it should be pointed out that the child-free lifestyle is 100% compilable with Evangelical Christianity. The Bible is clear that children are a blessing, but God doesn't force a blessing on anyone that doesn't want it. My Bride and I are happily child-free and we have no regrets about it.
@jolsteiner The financial wealth cannot be any guarantee of happiness. It cant be a sufficient reason to come to this world either so far. In fact the money has nothing to do with happiness. This life is not worth living due to its meaningless and i agree - nobody deserves to come into this world.
I applaud people that make the mature decision not to have children rather then just having children because you feel it is expected and then neglecting that child. I couldn't imagine not having kids but I definitely agree with these people for noticing their opinions and not taking on something they don't want just because society wants them to.
Dont want to have kids. Not now not never :) My girlfriend doesnt want neither..
Its sometimes more selfish to have kids (personal fullfilment, overpopulation etc..) then someone saying: 'oke i dont want kids (for whatever reason) so i wont have them, even when their envrionment says otherwise... Imagine someone who doesnt want kids have them anyways... how selfish is that ?
Wonder what those motives are? I'm guessing the child is a means to their ends. I mean they only talk about it from perspective of satisfying their whims and put God in it as a vague and unclear explanation making all of it ok. Adventure? Fullfillment? And I cannot at all sympathise with parents "sacrafice", as if they shouldn't be required to take responsibility for the need they created.
What a smug lot these lot are! I don't want kids, end of! It's mine and my husbands decision and no-one else's. This is not open for debate. It is not for others to sit in judgement about what I can and can't do with my own life, and my own body.
"God" is just an imaginary "friend" that has a "plan" for everyone that apparently never seems to be clear or even makes a bit of sense( in my opinion of course). Parenthood is not something to enter into half-hazardly, it's a DECISION that will alter the lives of everyone involved. The creation of a family is as beautiful as it is natural however, the desire to procreate is not as genetic. It's just silly that in a free country, people forget that we all get to CHOOSE our paths in life.
Why is there a controversy over a couple's decision of whether to have kids or not? There is no room for judging a couple's personal decision, so why are people barging into people's bedrooms where they don't belong?
As for basing their arguments on God and such, I'm a Christian. But I am also child-free. And I thank the good Lord every day that my life is full without kids.
Also, it bothers me that they merge marriage with parenthood. The two are not one and the same; don't confuse them.
My Man Arnie, and might be married Sept 22,2012 and We want as many Children as God wants us to have. 2,4,6,8 more, or less or none at all. I pray for God's will to be done.
The discussion is useful, but ultimately futile. Those who blame others for not having children do not like their own children and want to be childless themselves. They feel that it is unfair that they have to carry a burden, while others simply choose not to.
You think you have a deeper relationship with God than me because you are a mother? I go to the astral realms often, travel dimensions, meditate and raise kundalini - and you are trying to tell me you are closer to God because you did what EVERY sexual organism is capable of? (flies, mosquitos, rats - they can all breed; you are NOT special)
I hate it , when these holier than thou women try to make society and God interchangeable. God is personal for each. Society is like a screaming mother-in-law, wanting to bend you to her every whim.
My question is who will take care of you when you get old or how will you leave something behind when your dead? I totally respect people who don't want to have kids. But have they thought about who will be in their place after they die?
There is barely a river left on earth that isnt polluted by humans. The earth needs yet another child about as much as it needs a bullet in the proverbial head. Couples that dont have children by choice should be praised and rewarded for their selfless sacrifice.
@societysucks1: To which god of the 2,000 or so are you referring? Rationally speaking, having children is one of the most selfish things a person can do. As ridiculous as it sounds, none of us asks to be born; people decide they want kids to feed their own desires. Anyhow, one can be selfless by giving ones time to charitable causes (i.e. - feed the homeless, give back to the community, etc).
I don't want them end of story. And to all the people who judge? seriously why? I don't care about you having children. I don't judge you for your choice. If you want them have them but if someone doesn't, it's incredibly rude and selfish to put your own life experiences and personal beliefs onto another human being.
@Cussypat1974 --You have got it COMPLETELY right. Just consider the short sighted opinions on this subject and we all will see WHY the world is overpopulated. The world is full of breeders who have inferior brains and the LACK of critical thinking. Critical Thinking is the only subject that can save humanity from destruction and less than 1 in 300 humans are born with the capacity and parental support to develop that kind of thinking. Until all orphans are adopted, no child should be born.
I hate children. That's why I don't want them. And what's the big deal? There are too many people on this earth as it is (look at China and other countries with over population problems).
And according to my own beliefs and many others, there is no God. So, I think using God as a default answer doesn't work on everyone :)
@gracielou062002 How can you hate children. That's like hating the elderly. And children won't stay children forever. I don't mind you not wanting children but don't hate children.
Kids are not a blessing FOR ME. Maybe you liked it, I know I wouldn't. It's like a rollercoaster - just because one person screams "It's so fun! You HAVE to try it! You don't know what you're missing!" that doesn't mean that YOU won't get sick or scared or wish you hadn't gotten on.
I say listen to your instincts. If you have the feeling you wouldn't like having kids, if you can't stand being around kids but everyone is telling you "it's different when they're your own," DON'T have them.
@jaythephoenix --You're asking people to have "Critical Thinking" ! The sad fact is that they don't have it! They cannot think for themselves; brainwashed, they have let "god" do it for them.
Nature at work. Your genes are not adapted to reproduce themselves and get wiped off the face of the earth. Like endorphin levels get elevated at trauma and death, so unfitted biological machines create thoughts that are at the same proactive in the extinction process and consoling.
everything that the black woman said i completely agree with. i don't see what the problem is! if you dont want kids, you don't want them! i personally as a woman don't think its worth going through 9 grueling months with a gut full of human and having to go through all those side effects.
I told my sister that I don't want kids. My sister said that I have to and my church was preaching that we must have kids. I don't believe in people needing to have kids. It does not make me a bad person if I do not want to have kids.
@societysucks1 Please. I don't believe in that stuff. I'll be a bad person to bring in a unwanted child into the world because you have a mindset like that
@dearestjen Lucky for you and people like you that your parents didn't feel that way, kinda selfish on your part your won't give your children the same chance at life.
@societysucks1 How about you stop spewing your religious nonsense? And plus, why is it any of your business if someone chooses not to have kids? If there is a God, I think he'd be perfectly cool with someone not having children! This world is already overpopulated, and we're pretty much destroying the earth by adding more people. So I think God would be happy with those of us who are selfless enough to help the environment by not contributing to overpopulation.
@dearestjen exactly...dont know how old you are but i am only 21 (who are jobless) and i am getting this grief from friends at 21! My boyfriend and i dont want kids yet, we are jobless and only graduating this year :( gosh
@dearestjen I'm confused. You subscribe to a logical ideology yet you attend an institution that is known for lies and stupidity. Of course the church wants you to have kids. The more kids that are born to Christian families, the easier it is to brainwash them at an early age before they're given the opportunity to think critically and question.
@dearestjen stickto your guns! the decision not to have children is a personal & private decision.
no one has the right to criticize you. as for church, i am anglican, i believe that churches pressure women into motherhood so they increase their numbers in that church (self-serving & selfish) as well as lying to women that their role in society is just to be mothers. if people truly want children for the right reasons, there is nothing wrong w that. just quit pressuring us childfree!
No wonder we are living on a Third World planet, because only stupid people are breeding. The British/American welfare Boob can't save them all from Natural Selection.
@classicdinner yup, and from hearing this silly reason so many times, it appears that people who desire to have children have no real good reasons, so they grab at any reason they hear from others for having children without thinking about how dumb it sounds or knowing why they had children in the first place (they usually don't know).
so you found you couldn't love another human being as much until you had a child...yet you say your a christian.... love thy neighbor isnt that how it goes?... sad...... very sad....
My staunch reply to people, who ask me why I don't have kids? is I'll have as many kids as you want if you take care of them, all I get back is very cold stare.
Sooooooooo. let me get this straight 100 huntley. You're against people women having abortions but you also look down on couples that make a unselfish responsible choice not to have children. Whatever, give me a break.
children would be a curse to me - thank god he gave me miscarriages and more than one chance as it took a few miscarriages for me to get it together and realize i was not going to get that chance all the time.
i have a much better life without children and without marriage. and i would LOVE to preach the doctrine and tell you all what the apostle paul said about having no other dependents being completely focused on GOD.
This presentation is the definition of bias. A half circle of believers ranting about flawed yet accepted social norms.
I will never have kids. I will never follow jesus or any other myth. I will not be a slave to the system, to children or to religion and I do not suggest you do such either.
Free your mind. Doubt all things. Consider all options.
This has been bothering me for some time now, so Ive decided to get it off my chest. Im sad to say my wife & I cant have children. Thats correct, we cant have kids. You see, we have a white carpet.
I dont even know why people say "we're having children".A child's only a child for a very short period,1/6 or less of his/her life.The rest is an adult.People seem to only focus on this short period of the being the create.They are too infatuated with this "child" without EVER giving a thought about what his/her life is going to be like or what they have to go thru once theyre past their first few years.Thats y I believe parents are SELFISH.All they want is 2 have a "baby" as if he'll always b 1
christians are the last people who should be commenting on those who choose not to reproduce, although some of these ladies have fairly sound reasoning
"I will not sit in judgement" says the gray haired woman, yet a minute prior called couples who chose not to have children because of their choice (!) - social animals. She is truely an awful person. Period.
If you look past all the religious talk these women have a lot of very intelligent things to say, and made a lot of great points, especially about not doing something because its expected, and Big Brother/ Big Sister programs which are a great alternative if you feel the urge to mentor or nurture but don't want to take that big step. I found it very refreshing that such religious people would be so open-minded about something typically taboo in Christianity. I was personally impressed with this.
"God says..." What a piece of mumbo jumbo! That stupid little phrase has killed millions of people in the past, what good is it when preaching something that ought not to be preached religiously?
What the heck is wrong with that old woman? She should mind her own business and let us childfree people be.
And what debate? For Time's sake, it's a choice and a lifestyle! It's not like we're committing a crime! Let it rest.
Wow. Look in any social science academic journal anywhere on the globe regarding the effects of parenthood and they all empirically indicate the same conclusion: People with children indicate higher levels of depression and a reduced quality of overall wellness...
@societysucks1@societysucks1: To which god of the 2,000 or so are you referring? Rationally speaking, having children is one of the most selfish things a person can do. As ridiculous as it sounds, none of us asks to be born; people decide they want kids to feed their own desires. Anyhow, one can be selfless by giving ones time to charitable causes (i.e. - feed the homeless, give back to the community, etc).
I don't want kids either but their behavior falls under how they are being raised. I have met many intelligent children who are not selfish. The ones you're talking about have lousy parents.
I don't know why so many people gave you "poor comment" ratings. You were just stating that you love your kids. Nothing wrong with that. And you didn't say anything unkind about those of us who don't want kids. You seem like you're respecting others opinions. You were just speaking for yourself.
You should be your own person before letting kids "complete you as a person". the same with a significant other or spouse. Nobody can "complete" you, no matter how small or insignificant that person is.
@MahBoi22 wow, thank you for saying that, most ppl do not know that, they believe their fullfillment, enjoyment, happiness cause from other people or things, and that is a big mistake, most ppl procreate realize this when its too late, and then began to resent their children contributing to bad parental skills
If you have kids your life will get hijacked and you lose your personal freedom. From then on you life is just an extention to someone else's life.
tsayad1986 2 months ago 6
I'm a childfree Christian. Needless to say, looking for a wife has been quite the task. :o(
Purge187 2 months ago
@Purge187 Hopefully that will get easier in the near future as there are more and more CF people, and its becoming increasingly more accepted. Also i wish there were more CF dating sites for people looking for a soulmate.
tsayad1986 2 months ago
what is it to do with ANYONE else, if you someone doesn't want a child... to me its the people with kids that have the problems about people not wanting them. I think it puts them in an inferior place, because 70 percent plus just have kids for the wrong reason, the wrong thoughts. By the way NO ONE KNOWS GOD, wake up...
seerymseery 3 months ago 3
I don't understand why everyone else is so concerned about MY OWN choice to have children. You're not the ones that have to raise, pay for, and sacrifice your insanity and time for my offspring, so stay out of my uterus. If you are so concerned about my choice to have children then why don't you just have another one for me?
unikornhole 4 months ago 5
@unikornhole No. We do. It's called taxes. Job availability. Strained global resources. 7 Billion people is all ready in excess of the world's carry-capacity. Perhaps we live in a time where our moral/social responsibilities are different?
StateOfTheInitiative 4 months ago 3
Leave god out of it people :P
tsayad1986 4 months ago 12
I don't want to be a parent. I believe that when women become parents we sacrifice much more than men do. Most inequalities in marriage are compounded by the time children come into the picture. Also, I want to dedicate my life to more fulfilling endeavors; writing, learning traveling and spending time with my friends and family. I can fully enjoy life without giving birth or raising children, because the activity just doesn't appeal to me at all.
ubiquitousfacts 4 months ago 5
@ubiquitousfacts there was no point in giving any excuses as to why you don't have children. you're giving the impression that you want one but refuse to sacrifice your own wants because of "inequalities " in your marriage/relationship. it's sad if that is what's stopping you from having any. if you want a child, then have one. if not, then that's good for you.
runtubefantasy 3 months ago
People refusing to have children are a new category of social individuals????!!!
Come on on what planet have you been living? Everyone should be able to decide on his own wether or not he wants to have children regardless of some American ideal :D
bassmajor 5 months ago
i do think CF people making judgements about what its like for others to have kids is a little far fetched. You can imagine what it might be like for you but what its like for me is my experience.
Deciding whether to have kids or not based on a journal article is a little far fetched too. I don't believe people choose CF for any other reason than they don't want kids. Using poverty, overpopulation etc is just grasping for "valid" reasons. "i don't want one" should be valid in of itself.
TheDharmawheel 5 months ago
"You're not a real woman unless you have children" ?! wow that's disgusting..
aetuip 5 months ago 11
I personally think some people have kids because it gives them something to do..
ember1k 5 months ago
I don't need children to become a better person, or more mature. And many people who have children in my social group either did so accidentally, or did not have the intellect to think about their reasons. Also, Jesus still loves me with or without children.
pinkfedoragal 6 months ago 9
Children are a blessing from God? Your God must delight in watching babies starve to death. Praise to those who chose Childfree. Shame on you who chose to bring children into a planet of limited resources to care for the masses. While your "blessing" sleeps comfortable, millions of babies are starving. And you justify this by saying you were "blessed?"
tbird54100 6 months ago
Don't have kids if you don't want them, the amoutn of times people have looked at me like I'm sick or something cause I don't want to have kids - if they want my womb to be used that badly I'll sell it on ebay!
As for these women blabbing away what if you're agnostic not sure if you believe in God they keep referring to it like everyone believes what they do!
fruitcake0anon 6 months ago
I really like what the black woman (sorry, don't know her name) has to say. She actually seems like she's dicussing this and isn't actually going "Ah, against God! Children haters!" Like the older white woman seems to be doing (again, don't know names.)
That postcard was hillarious.
Also, I'm pretty sure God wouldn't mind if people who don't want kids don't have them. There's so many other things they can do for their community.
beefchops2011 6 months ago
4:50 - 5:01 Sounds good to me!
NowWeAreMagic 7 months ago
Children are not a "blessing." That is your opinion. Using your bible is a means to manipulate others. My choice to never have children was met by stupid, ignorant people who have not a clue. Pity that poor child born to you mothers who had children so YOU could feel complete. That child now has the unwanted burden of meeting your emotional needs and taking care of you in your old age. And you call ME selfish. YOU are the selfish one.
tbird54100 7 months ago
My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and have a 7-year-old daughter. We got crap from strangers and coworkers because we just have ONE child, so I KNOW childless couples are catching hell!
Seriously, it's a personal choice if couples want to have kids or not. If anything, we should STOP having kids altogether. There are sooo many kids in adoption agencies who need good homes...
autismpete 7 months ago 9
@autismpete I agree. More people should adopt instead of having kids, and having ONE child isn't so bad. I'm an antinatalist and I am against overpopulation for moral and environmental reasons, but having just one child is nothing bad. My mom only had me and I don't mind that. Having one child is actually very commendable. It's a shame your co-workers and strangers aren't bright enough to see through their social stigma.
vgman94 6 months ago
Where does it say children are a blessing from God? Millions of "blessing' children are beaten, sexually exploited, hungry and live in insufferable conditions. What a "blessed" life!!! If having children is the goal, why don't you adopt one of the millions that will die from famines, starvation and lack. Pity children born to those mothers expecting that child to "fulfill" their selfishness and take care of them in their old age. YOU are the selfish one, not the CFBC person.
tbird54100 7 months ago
There isnt always a reason for people not wanting children. Iv been around some wonderful examples of parents, I had a happy childhood also, but I just dont want them, much like I dont want a cat. No sinister reason, just do not want that life style. I like my life, my partner feels the same. Our life is not empty or dull, we do lots of fun things together. Its not a problem for us, so why other people have a problem with our choice is beyond me!
dougnems 7 months ago
You know what scarres me? it has alot to do with religion.
jakeneko 7 months ago 3
Yep, scary. There is no reasoning with religiously brainwashed individuals. There are not enough resources to care for the populace already here. Having more people will never solve the problem of lack. Yet, mothers glorify your motherhood status, which only adds to the growing problem, and insults my choice not to add to an already overpopulated planet by telling me it is some God's will for me to have children. Using your God's name to manipulate is sleazy.
tbird54100 7 months ago
You cannot fix stupid. Using religion to justify actions and attempt to control others is common amongst church people. Trying to reason with a religiously brainwashed person is futile.
tbird54100 7 months ago
"You should never be pressed into things by other people. You always have to go to God first." Isn't that the same thing? I mean, it's not like God himself comes down and tries to sell me a Bible.
No one should be forced to have children, by people directly or by societies' expectations.Not having children isn't selfish or cruel; if anything, having a child just to make yourself 'feel good' or 'be closer to God' is the more selfish and cruel thing. Childrearing is NOT mandatory.
TheBanile 7 months ago
Having children does NOT make you mature. I know plenty of immature and irresponsible mothers. Silly teenage mums and hormonal broody breeders.
blondegurl38 7 months ago
Many people do not want to marry and have children because they are surrounded by bad examples of marriage and parenthood. Bad parenting is producing a generation of spoiled, ill mannered children. One cannot go into formerly adult, dignified nowadays without an obnoxious child ruining it for everyone present. Many adults have no internal boundaries established for public and private behavior and they pass this trait on to their children. I don't want to subject a child to the horrible world.
TheSienna29 7 months ago
Why is deciding to not have children horrifying? I see so many people who shouldn't have a GOLDFISH or a PET who have children.
Watch the movie Idiocracy by Mike Judge to see one take on irresponsible people having kids.
I DO see wonderful parents who are wonderful with their children, though.
katinaanimator 7 months ago 2
Children are a reward? Pish! If that is the case, why are so many people using contraceptives to prevent these 'rewards'?
chibicat13 7 months ago
What the heck are the 40 reasons against children? Tell me, I didn't read the article. What are the benefits that you ladies seem to think are better than these supposed 40 reasons?
RosalieBells 8 months ago
If you have kids YOU HAVE NO CHOICE but to say your happy to have children! Think about it! Is it socially exceptable to walk around saying "gee', I really regret having these little monsters"? Of course not! Even if its true. Can a parent even admit to themselves if they regret it? Thats why your opinion can never count to those who don't want kids. You MUST say you "love being a parent" YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!
This is not the world we were intended for, nor marriage, nor children. So we choose.
embracingreality 9 months ago 38
@embracingreality LOL Yes people walking around saying " I can't believe I had a child. What was I thinking ?" Actually I have heard it on social media/the internet many times and if you ask psychologists,they will tell you they have heard it many times in person. And people with kids HATE couples that don't have them.
justcallmeassinine 8 months ago
@justcallmeassinine I saw such post on "WebMD" a few times but never have I heard anyone say it openly, though some men have eluded to their regrets in my presence.. I think your right about certain parents "hating" singles or even marrieds without kids and our lack of responsibilities, sacrifices, obligations, potential burdens of kids. I don't dislike kids, just don't need any, thanks.. If kids are so great why are their parents so jealous of my freedom and pockets full of cash? Hmmmmm...
embracingreality 8 months ago
@embracingreality then explain Orphanages ..for which the parents have a choice not to be happy having children.
blues970123 4 months ago
This is an interesting discussion and it should be pointed out that the child-free lifestyle is 100% compilable with Evangelical Christianity. The Bible is clear that children are a blessing, but God doesn't force a blessing on anyone that doesn't want it. My Bride and I are happily child-free and we have no regrets about it.
proaudio55 9 months ago 9
@jolsteiner The financial wealth cannot be any guarantee of happiness. It cant be a sufficient reason to come to this world either so far. In fact the money has nothing to do with happiness. This life is not worth living due to its meaningless and i agree - nobody deserves to come into this world.
gleb202 9 months ago
I applaud people that make the mature decision not to have children rather then just having children because you feel it is expected and then neglecting that child. I couldn't imagine not having kids but I definitely agree with these people for noticing their opinions and not taking on something they don't want just because society wants them to.
Sarah99ification 9 months ago 5
These wemen are brain washed by refering to 'god' as they do. I would never allow some religous leader tell me to do anything like father a child.
Processor23 9 months ago 8
Dont want to have kids. Not now not never :) My girlfriend doesnt want neither..
Its sometimes more selfish to have kids (personal fullfilment, overpopulation etc..) then someone saying: 'oke i dont want kids (for whatever reason) so i wont have them, even when their envrionment says otherwise... Imagine someone who doesnt want kids have them anyways... how selfish is that ?
peace.
tsayad1986 9 months ago 6
Wonder what those motives are? I'm guessing the child is a means to their ends. I mean they only talk about it from perspective of satisfying their whims and put God in it as a vague and unclear explanation making all of it ok. Adventure? Fullfillment? And I cannot at all sympathise with parents "sacrafice", as if they shouldn't be required to take responsibility for the need they created.
And what is the book saying?
5kamon 9 months ago
What a smug lot these lot are! I don't want kids, end of! It's mine and my husbands decision and no-one else's. This is not open for debate. It is not for others to sit in judgement about what I can and can't do with my own life, and my own body.
ElizabethR1558 9 months ago 6
Why do they keep bring God into it? Can America discuss anything without bring God into it?
ElizabethR1558 9 months ago 10
"God" is just an imaginary "friend" that has a "plan" for everyone that apparently never seems to be clear or even makes a bit of sense( in my opinion of course). Parenthood is not something to enter into half-hazardly, it's a DECISION that will alter the lives of everyone involved. The creation of a family is as beautiful as it is natural however, the desire to procreate is not as genetic. It's just silly that in a free country, people forget that we all get to CHOOSE our paths in life.
magnanimous4108 11 months ago 8
@magnanimous4108 What you just said was offensive. It's not ok for christians to be offensive but it's ok for athiest.
a999op 10 months ago
I got my tubes tied at 22. Still the best decision ever.
If you can't find someone to sterilize you at a young age, go to Planned Parenthood. That's where I went.
MiddyAlmighty 11 months ago 25
@MiddyAlmighty Hysterectomy here!! glad 0 kids here
crpdm1965 3 months ago 4
Why is there a controversy over a couple's decision of whether to have kids or not? There is no room for judging a couple's personal decision, so why are people barging into people's bedrooms where they don't belong?
As for basing their arguments on God and such, I'm a Christian. But I am also child-free. And I thank the good Lord every day that my life is full without kids.
Also, it bothers me that they merge marriage with parenthood. The two are not one and the same; don't confuse them.
lovinglife139 11 months ago 11
RELIGIOUS PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ABORTION AND CONTRACEPTION IS WRONG. SOME people wish not to raise children yet. SIMPLE!
aniles1989 1 year ago 6
My Man Arnie, and might be married Sept 22,2012 and We want as many Children as God wants us to have. 2,4,6,8 more, or less or none at all. I pray for God's will to be done.
sammygod09 1 year ago
Why are they basing their whole argument on god.
supersnaxx 1 year ago 8
The discussion is useful, but ultimately futile. Those who blame others for not having children do not like their own children and want to be childless themselves. They feel that it is unfair that they have to carry a burden, while others simply choose not to.
nazgulero 1 year ago 3
How about this? Christ made me the way I am, right? Therefore, He made me a woman who does not want kids!!!!
stilsonj 1 year ago 5
You think you have a deeper relationship with God than me because you are a mother? I go to the astral realms often, travel dimensions, meditate and raise kundalini - and you are trying to tell me you are closer to God because you did what EVERY sexual organism is capable of? (flies, mosquitos, rats - they can all breed; you are NOT special)
LunarVegan 1 year ago
The bible says nothing about the world being overpopulated and over consumption of resources.
AntDog1984 1 year ago
The blond woman with glasses is SO VERY judgemental. Also, the statement, "a blessing from God." Not everyone believes in God.
Tokyokatt 1 year ago 4
Rolled my eyes as soon as she said "But....God says....".
materializze 1 year ago 4
I hate it , when these holier than thou women try to make society and God interchangeable. God is personal for each. Society is like a screaming mother-in-law, wanting to bend you to her every whim.
wakincloud 1 year ago
rental children rofl!!
Zerowind88 1 year ago
My question is who will take care of you when you get old or how will you leave something behind when your dead? I totally respect people who don't want to have kids. But have they thought about who will be in their place after they die?
u2hubbard 1 year ago
@u2hubbard
The same people who will take care of you. The good folks at the nursing home.
pleaseSTFUnow 1 year ago
There is barely a river left on earth that isnt polluted by humans. The earth needs yet another child about as much as it needs a bullet in the proverbial head. Couples that dont have children by choice should be praised and rewarded for their selfless sacrifice.
speedgliding 1 year ago 7
@societysucks1: To which god of the 2,000 or so are you referring? Rationally speaking, having children is one of the most selfish things a person can do. As ridiculous as it sounds, none of us asks to be born; people decide they want kids to feed their own desires. Anyhow, one can be selfless by giving ones time to charitable causes (i.e. - feed the homeless, give back to the community, etc).
flyntonyb 1 year ago
I don't want them end of story. And to all the people who judge? seriously why? I don't care about you having children. I don't judge you for your choice. If you want them have them but if someone doesn't, it's incredibly rude and selfish to put your own life experiences and personal beliefs onto another human being.
tropical481 1 year ago 4
I read the book. If you're not totally uptight about the subject, the book is actually really funny and well-written.
Kayelle1980 1 year ago
crazy but kind bible thumpers
sromoff 1 year ago
@Cussypat1974 --You have got it COMPLETELY right. Just consider the short sighted opinions on this subject and we all will see WHY the world is overpopulated. The world is full of breeders who have inferior brains and the LACK of critical thinking. Critical Thinking is the only subject that can save humanity from destruction and less than 1 in 300 humans are born with the capacity and parental support to develop that kind of thinking. Until all orphans are adopted, no child should be born.
durgaaa 1 year ago
Try the "category" Child Free by Choice .
durgaaa 1 year ago
I hate children. That's why I don't want them. And what's the big deal? There are too many people on this earth as it is (look at China and other countries with over population problems).
And according to my own beliefs and many others, there is no God. So, I think using God as a default answer doesn't work on everyone :)
gracielou062002 1 year ago 2
@gracielou062002 How can you hate children. That's like hating the elderly. And children won't stay children forever. I don't mind you not wanting children but don't hate children.
a999op 10 months ago
Kids are not a blessing FOR ME. Maybe you liked it, I know I wouldn't. It's like a rollercoaster - just because one person screams "It's so fun! You HAVE to try it! You don't know what you're missing!" that doesn't mean that YOU won't get sick or scared or wish you hadn't gotten on.
I say listen to your instincts. If you have the feeling you wouldn't like having kids, if you can't stand being around kids but everyone is telling you "it's different when they're your own," DON'T have them.
StinkadoodlePie 1 year ago 10
kids are a blessing from the flying spaghetti monster!!! only a fool wouldn't have them!
Armzan 1 year ago 3
I love how they all revert to "god" as a default answer-for-all.
Think and come up with your own answers, people -_-
And for any nay sayers, I resort to my default answer-for-all
"Chuck Norris" :D lol
jaythephoenix 1 year ago
@jaythephoenix --You're asking people to have "Critical Thinking" ! The sad fact is that they don't have it! They cannot think for themselves; brainwashed, they have let "god" do it for them.
durgaaa 1 year ago 3
@durgaaa
guess they call it "blind" faith for a reason. Blindfolds on, bibles ready, and it's time to walk through that mine field
jaythephoenix 1 year ago 6
Nature at work. Your genes are not adapted to reproduce themselves and get wiped off the face of the earth. Like endorphin levels get elevated at trauma and death, so unfitted biological machines create thoughts that are at the same proactive in the extinction process and consoling.
Durchbrechen 1 year ago
everything that the black woman said i completely agree with. i don't see what the problem is! if you dont want kids, you don't want them! i personally as a woman don't think its worth going through 9 grueling months with a gut full of human and having to go through all those side effects.
priscille123 1 year ago 7
I told my sister that I don't want kids. My sister said that I have to and my church was preaching that we must have kids. I don't believe in people needing to have kids. It does not make me a bad person if I do not want to have kids.
dearestjen 1 year ago 84
@dearestjen Go forth and multiply, that is a commandment from God, what do you think God thinks about your mindset considering you ignore his word?
societysucks1 1 year ago
@societysucks1 Please. I don't believe in that stuff. I'll be a bad person to bring in a unwanted child into the world because you have a mindset like that
dearestjen 1 year ago
@dearestjen Lucky for you and people like you that your parents didn't feel that way, kinda selfish on your part your won't give your children the same chance at life.
societysucks1 1 year ago
@societysucks1 And I, nor you, would have known the difference.
pleaseSTFUnow 1 year ago
@societysucks1 What's more selfish is having kids and not wanting them.
dearestjen 1 year ago
@societysucks1 How about you stop spewing your religious nonsense? And plus, why is it any of your business if someone chooses not to have kids? If there is a God, I think he'd be perfectly cool with someone not having children! This world is already overpopulated, and we're pretty much destroying the earth by adding more people. So I think God would be happy with those of us who are selfless enough to help the environment by not contributing to overpopulation.
MahBoi22 5 months ago
@dearestjen exactly...dont know how old you are but i am only 21 (who are jobless) and i am getting this grief from friends at 21! My boyfriend and i dont want kids yet, we are jobless and only graduating this year :( gosh
aniles1989 1 year ago
@dearestjen I'm confused. You subscribe to a logical ideology yet you attend an institution that is known for lies and stupidity. Of course the church wants you to have kids. The more kids that are born to Christian families, the easier it is to brainwash them at an early age before they're given the opportunity to think critically and question.
batmanpronz 7 months ago
@dearestjen stickto your guns! the decision not to have children is a personal & private decision.
no one has the right to criticize you. as for church, i am anglican, i believe that churches pressure women into motherhood so they increase their numbers in that church (self-serving & selfish) as well as lying to women that their role in society is just to be mothers. if people truly want children for the right reasons, there is nothing wrong w that. just quit pressuring us childfree!
canadianskye1964 6 months ago
@dearestjen no, your are not a bad person.
Francium5 6 months ago
@dearestjen i told the same to my aunt and she responded like i summoned the devil
TheArchifreak 4 months ago
If you can't feed em Don't Breed em
No wonder we are living on a Third World planet, because only stupid people are breeding. The British/American welfare Boob can't save them all from Natural Selection.
Mlhirdyahoocomau 1 year ago 14
@classicdinner yup, and from hearing this silly reason so many times, it appears that people who desire to have children have no real good reasons, so they grab at any reason they hear from others for having children without thinking about how dumb it sounds or knowing why they had children in the first place (they usually don't know).
artep2122 1 year ago 4
I am a mother and all my children have paws.
rainbowspite222 1 year ago 21
so you found you couldn't love another human being as much until you had a child...yet you say your a christian.... love thy neighbor isnt that how it goes?... sad...... very sad....
classicdinner 1 year ago
My staunch reply to people, who ask me why I don't have kids? is I'll have as many kids as you want if you take care of them, all I get back is very cold stare.
DIJV79 1 year ago 5
I want kids, but not right now...i need too get my life together so when that time comes i can be prepared.
charii89 1 year ago
Sooooooooo. let me get this straight 100 huntley. You're against people women having abortions but you also look down on couples that make a unselfish responsible choice not to have children. Whatever, give me a break.
djrobertjohnson 1 year ago 8
children are not for everyone. that is a fact.
smedheat 1 year ago 6
we're not childless.
we're child-FREE
children would be a curse to me - thank god he gave me miscarriages and more than one chance as it took a few miscarriages for me to get it together and realize i was not going to get that chance all the time.
i have a much better life without children and without marriage. and i would LOVE to preach the doctrine and tell you all what the apostle paul said about having no other dependents being completely focused on GOD.
inbetweentics 1 year ago 12
@inbetweentics Bless you for telling the truth.
justcallmeassinine 1 year ago
This presentation is the definition of bias. A half circle of believers ranting about flawed yet accepted social norms.
I will never have kids. I will never follow jesus or any other myth. I will not be a slave to the system, to children or to religion and I do not suggest you do such either.
Free your mind. Doubt all things. Consider all options.
EliteDoomer 2 years ago 8
This has been bothering me for some time now, so Ive decided to get it off my chest. Im sad to say my wife & I cant have children. Thats correct, we cant have kids. You see, we have a white carpet.
wannabeeebee 2 years ago 12
Main reason: There is more to life than problems.
meinside99 2 years ago 4
this must be a religious show...
it doesnt suprise(sp?) me that these women think this way.
BabyGirlGoddess 2 years ago 2
religion should have nothing to do with it.
childfreeman 2 years ago 3
I dont even know why people say "we're having children".A child's only a child for a very short period,1/6 or less of his/her life.The rest is an adult.People seem to only focus on this short period of the being the create.They are too infatuated with this "child" without EVER giving a thought about what his/her life is going to be like or what they have to go thru once theyre past their first few years.Thats y I believe parents are SELFISH.All they want is 2 have a "baby" as if he'll always b 1
niteowlsam 2 years ago 8
children are a responsibility
smedheat 2 years ago
christians are the last people who should be commenting on those who choose not to reproduce, although some of these ladies have fairly sound reasoning
TheGreaterGood80 2 years ago 4
"I will not sit in judgement" says the gray haired woman, yet a minute prior called couples who chose not to have children because of their choice (!) - social animals. She is truely an awful person. Period.
cecilianyc 2 years ago 8
If you look past all the religious talk these women have a lot of very intelligent things to say, and made a lot of great points, especially about not doing something because its expected, and Big Brother/ Big Sister programs which are a great alternative if you feel the urge to mentor or nurture but don't want to take that big step. I found it very refreshing that such religious people would be so open-minded about something typically taboo in Christianity. I was personally impressed with this.
ColbertSmith 2 years ago
"God says..." What a piece of mumbo jumbo! That stupid little phrase has killed millions of people in the past, what good is it when preaching something that ought not to be preached religiously?
What the heck is wrong with that old woman? She should mind her own business and let us childfree people be.
And what debate? For Time's sake, it's a choice and a lifestyle! It's not like we're committing a crime! Let it rest.
batocicero 2 years ago 7
Is this like a religious show? Cuse they're all talking about God
Kayelle1980 2 years ago 3
Wow. Look in any social science academic journal anywhere on the globe regarding the effects of parenthood and they all empirically indicate the same conclusion: People with children indicate higher levels of depression and a reduced quality of overall wellness...
flyntonyb 2 years ago 81
@flyntonyb Having a child made me the happiest person in the world.
nomorefunds 1 year ago
@flyntonyb That's because they chose to not be selfish and live for their kids and not themselves -1.
societysucks1 1 year ago
@societysucks1 @societysucks1: To which god of the 2,000 or so are you referring? Rationally speaking, having children is one of the most selfish things a person can do. As ridiculous as it sounds, none of us asks to be born; people decide they want kids to feed their own desires. Anyhow, one can be selfless by giving ones time to charitable causes (i.e. - feed the homeless, give back to the community, etc).
flyntonyb 1 year ago
props to the black woman . she made some very good points .
SixelaElla 2 years ago 4
I don't want kids either but their behavior falls under how they are being raised. I have met many intelligent children who are not selfish. The ones you're talking about have lousy parents.
klb084 2 years ago 6
I will almost definitely not be having kids. That's my personal choice. To each their own.
AdrianIsaacs 2 years ago 11
i have my own kids and i loved them to death they complete me as a person. just my opinion.
doublejt75 2 years ago
I don't know why so many people gave you "poor comment" ratings. You were just stating that you love your kids. Nothing wrong with that. And you didn't say anything unkind about those of us who don't want kids. You seem like you're respecting others opinions. You were just speaking for yourself.
klb084 2 years ago
You should be your own person before letting kids "complete you as a person". the same with a significant other or spouse. Nobody can "complete" you, no matter how small or insignificant that person is.
MahBoi22 2 years ago 11
@MahBoi22 wow, thank you for saying that, most ppl do not know that, they believe their fullfillment, enjoyment, happiness cause from other people or things, and that is a big mistake, most ppl procreate realize this when its too late, and then began to resent their children contributing to bad parental skills
KMELIZ21 1 year ago