Dylan Moran - Melbourne Comedy Fest

[wildwildwest1]

I turned on the Audio Transcriber and this is what it thinks Dylan Moran is saying at 2:48 "the only real reason I came I dont want to see you remove were ruler renewed"... more than a little confused I think haha

[HUGOVANTA]

Im form australia and its funny coz every australian could relate to this lol. we do live in a big fucking jail

[SharpParadox]

Of course, the featured video is Hot Potato...

[kachekieran]

@CaptinAwesomeBlob its part of the act lol

[SuperGroundControl]

Australia got away lightly - he called Germany a toilet. I don't think the UN will be offering him a job any time soon. :-) Australia is obviously one of the BEST countries in the world - why would you give a shit what a comedian says?

[darknessblack12]

@SuperGroundControl When he called Germany a toilet, he was satirizing the English and other Europeans who judged Germany without knowing much about it.

[Wolstenholmie]

I love how the next video is "Hot Potato" by the Wiggles

[Joojiadamumoranzi]

ITS NOT MORON YOU TWAT

I'm called moran and i always get the shit for it D:<

[fragilez]

can someone tell me what's a "wiggle"?

[Joojiadamumoranzi]

@fragilez its a kids TV program from australia :D

[PlasticAstroBoy]

@fragilez you know the kids band - the wiggles

[Fortozero]

Dylan Moran is well funny, I just wish he didn't push the Australian stereotypes so much. The reason a lot of Australians take offense to the gaol jokes is because the vast majority aren't descended from convicts. More than 30% of our population weren't even born here, and another 60% are immigrants within a few generations. It's only correct less than 3% of the time. It's like calling a hispanic American a slaver because the US used to be a slave state.

[MuppetsFromMars]

My favourite comedian...

[dharmaseed]

Wow, when he said he wanted to 'Kill a Wiggle', the audience applauded. Do Aussies find the Wiggles that annoying?

[JaneDoe1811]

Yes, we really do,

[dharmaseed]

@JaneDoe1811 I'm not alone, then?

[JaneDoe1811]

@dharmaseed nope, not at all, ive hated them ever since i first heard of them,

[dharmaseed]

@JaneDoe1811 How are you on Adam HIlls?

[JaneDoe1811]

@dharmaseed mmmm he's alright,

[kingmacque]

wats a wiggle??

[cYRsatLIcarus]

@kingmacque the wiggles are a band that make music for kids

[rawkus666]

orecalcos85 your a muppet!!! Us Aussies have a sense humour and I reckon that was piss funny.... what shithole of a country are you from dickhead

[thechokey]

@rawkus666

it people like you that make australia shit

[rawkus666]

fuck off cocksucker you wish you were Aussie!!! Bet your from some backward shithole of a country!!

[thechokey]

@rawkus666 pretty sure i live in sydney you fucking iggnorant sack of shit

and now

for greater good

please leave this planet

we have no room for your fucking bogan iggnorance

also you had best not be making judgments without having a reason for them i mena seriously dude what in the name of all that is good and benign gave you the impression that you could tell where i am from ??

[orecalcos85]

Somebody must be from australia and is pissed off now... (look below this)

[knowsfords]

Any true Australian would find this completely hilarious.

[Soccerpersonz10]

It's actually hilarious, I find it the funniest thing ever cause it's all so fucking true xD

[rawkus666]

Your a dickhead look above!! piss funny I reckon

[XDanimedudeXD]

Dylan MORON i didnt laugh...

[PrinceVice]

I don't understand, I keep watching it over and over. And it keeps getting funnier every time :S

[acidfanny]

ya hes on Run Fat boy Run

[TheX3100Gamer]

Is'nt he out of 'Run Fat Boy Run'??

He is really funny! xD

[Ghefly]

he's been doing standup years before he was in run fatboy run. he is friends with simon pegg I think, hence the apperance in his films

[quiverbuzz]

Moran.

Legend.

[neevaroboto]

well said :)

[efagels]

its dylan mor-an not moran (sorry but they said it wrong) seeing him live soon!!!!

[joeyeire]

they said it right

[efagels]

no they didnt i saw him live last tuesday and he said it my way

[joeyeire]

ive the same surname

[mantooth3245]

He's a king !

 love Dylan Moran!!

[ComedyLove28]

Most of his older stand up you see him drinking, when I saw him live in Edinburgh he went through a bottle and a half of white wine! I think hes a little tipsy and then exaggerates it slightly, but it works so well with his act and mild eccentricity :).

Incidentally, what the hell is a wiggle?!?!

[Vampstress]

The wiggles are an Australian children's music group

[mdroach9]

ahaha, a australian childrens tv show character

[nastastic]

he's not English he's Irish.

[Philthehole]

his english voice sounds like eddie izzard

[anukriti]

Hahhaha yeah! I thought the whole colony bit sounded like Eddie's "Do you have a flag" bit XD Love them both

[PanicMusicFan]

My god he's so right hahah.

And yes, the Wiggles need to be killed. I loved them when i very little, but now I just find them very hate-inspiring.

Hahahah.

[HomegirlOfJezu]

Same :)

[PhantomUmbie123]

hey! don't pay out the wiggles!

is he drunk?!

[CharlieSCENEmo]

It's his act :)

He just plays drunk, he's probably not really.

[XtargX]

Hes drunk -.-

[joeyeire]

usually is drunk on stage dont know bout this time

[searchformulder]

of course he isnt drunk. he is a stand up comedian. what did you expect? to stand there and play guitar? i laughed my ass off

[megatwingo]

Hi! I´m German. What´s a whiggle?

[HiveFleetZuris]

There a childrens band here called the wiggles. One dresses up is blue and the others in purple and crap. If there was a way to rid of them the would have been decapitated in there mothers womb.

[megatwingo]

Thanks for this information!

[kamakazi612]

wow everyone 'loves' you :/

[afromanjack]

yeah they all love me up. jealous? kamakazi fuck

[MoreAnonymous]

childrens tv show called the 'wiggles'

[megatwingo]

Thanks for the reply, Anonymous!

[LaserOrange]

I like it better when they give him an hour or two, but he's still hilarious.

[articraider]

We in Ireland would like to offer your wiggels asylum. We can,t accept them being put in harms way by Dylan.

[littlemissflo]

He's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man. :) <3 <3 <3

[KatieTheWeird]

I'm seeing this gorgeous man next week at the Comedy Festival. Woooot. Seen him live before and can't wait to see him live again. =]

<3

[loravine]

He is a gorgeous man isn't he...

A gorgeous gorgeous man...

[cherubickah]

yay me too! :)

[firestartertwistedfi]

what is a wiggle?

[mathewdeering]

Australian childrens' entertainers. Incredibly annoying Australian childrens' entertainers.

[nicci694200]

Lmao hes a fucking legend!!! off his fucking face everytime I LOVE IT

[xwollyx]

if you watch either monster or like totally

the big comedian gig's he does

he talks about the crackling, the sharks and jellyfish

[jackhoodle]

ahaha..thats great. im australian and thats bloody hilarious

[Trizzzzzzzzzy]

I don't think he put in a bad performance, I think he was incredibly nervous

[kpear59]

He's known for being drunk at his shows. This is probably my favourite stand up from him, makes me laugh everytime

[nickywild1234]

that was a rubbish stand up he could do better he luks like he cnt be arsed the funniest is comedy store dats hilarious i went to see him hes my hero i saw him 4th oct 2008

[rossinator11]

because he's usually upbeat and hyper?

[roshdoggy]

u guys need to learn to take a joke.

he didnt say anything untrue.

mostly.

[RhinoGreymist]

A wiggle as in 'The Wiggles'. Australian childrens band.

[edstercw]

lmao Iv a friend like him. He gets drunk and bored of the bullshit of politeness and is embarassingly honest about subjects everyone else isnt allowed to talk about.

[jammacmarmalade]

hes not drunk hes Irish

[lorryltp]

hahaha, but i think he is drunk to, hes known for his wine!, man i love him

[Jasonsoul1]

He acts drunk on stage. dylan rules

[ShaiyaPlayer01]

@jammacmarmalade Hes drunk and Irish ;)

[cameronhjh]

@jammacmarmalade

whih means hes probably drunk.

[billyb131]

what the hell is a wiggle?

IRELAND FOR EVER :-P

[sinkyjames]

Think they're the Oz equivalent of the Singing Kettle..?

[M4A0S7H7]

The Wiggles are an Australian kids music group who consist of men in colored skivvies, a dinosaur called dorothy, and a pirate called captain feather sword...pretty much explains itself, I think haha.

[meirule]

A wiggle is one member of a group of four. They are a children's entertainment group, and they sing songs and do interactive shows for kids of about 2-5. They get them to dance and sing, and they have four friends, they are;

Henry the Octopus

Captain Feathersword

Dorothy the Dinosaur

and Waggs thee Dog.

What they are is just an Australian children's entertainment band, and even Australian's are sick of them. xD

<3 Dylan Moran.

[Sorcoral]

i hate the Wiggles

they did a concert tour and stopped in my hometown, and on the FUCKING ROCK RADIO STATION i had to hear the ad for the Wiggles concert 20 times a day for a month

i want to kill a Wiggle

[Paddy978]

legend. fact.

[meirule]

Mogger; i don't like you. I disagree with that statement. Dylan Moran likes Australia; he's just funny. So, yeah. Shut up. I think that you people who think he's dissing us here in the AUS, need to get a life, cause true-blue Ausies, LAUGH at people taking the piss. It's what we do. It's what makes people like coming here and making jokes about us, cause WE LAUGH!

Lighten up, dudes, see the funny. (:

<3 dylan moran

[Pinage]

amen

[jerkfacejosh13]

Popular childrens show

[leokie06]

im aus and i like it. hes funny

[dynamix66]

fuck he mocks the aussies in their own country

hahaha

[EndCat47]

shit, most of the comedy gala acts do, and we like it!

[palmer8801]

a weavel is an animal, a small thing like another small thing lol

[WhatWhat7658]

nickyjohnson102 stringrays kill people all over the world....

[WhatWhat7658]

He always sounds pissed, thats why he is so funny.....

[AChildOfBodom667]

Just before 3 minutes the cameraman starts laughing... then for the rest of the set. Come back down here Dylan! Loves ya!

[Talkography]

Maybe he also has to work on The Wiggles

[Zezili]

i'm going to marry that man. even if he thinks my crappy country IS a jail...

[Yeahwhat123]

Great Aussie Pride there.

Crappy probly wasnt the best word.

go somewhere else in the world and come bcak here and youll realise how good we really have it

[anarchoandpeace]

Nah. I've been to Italy, Switzerland, America, Canada, etc.

It's really not that amazing...

There's nice parts.

Nation states = stupid

[nickyjohnson102]

it probably is a good place to be.its just a jail is all :) i mean,even the stingrays there kill you ...

[TezzaMcJ]

its so funny cos he acts exactly like he does in black books

[666Leelee]

OMG! i never realised where i knew him from! how STUPID. of course hes from black books... he dresses and acts the same and everything...! how did i miss that!!

[PsychoHellKat]

haha, i remember watchin this on tv (and i usually dont remember anything from the comedy fest.) that was b4 i knew who he was.

[midguardz]

I'm surprised he didn't talk about Australia's obsession with sport & having every TV channel with sport alot of the time with sport people being overpaid & theatre sadly lacking. Tony Hancock made jokes about this in 1968 about how sad he was to have come over here & then he killed himself from despair in Bondi Beach area. He should have stayed with the poetic aliveness of England what on earth that man of culture thought he could find here was anyone's guess.

[mercyoz]

he sounds wack to me

[Scarlettbunny27]

he sounds pissed to me! funniest bloke ever! apart from Bill Bailey!

[imnotbrian]

A wiggle is a kids TV band show thing that is on over here all the time and for some reason, is incredibly popular

[CrusaderCharly]

They are the highest selling Australian Artist of all time.

[CrashAndBurn4life]

BAHA, im aussie and think he's funny as hell

[youmakemesmileS2]

bahahahahahahahahaha

god he is so piss funny. im australian and im not insulted at all. its one of the upsides of being aussie. WE CAN TAKE A JOKE! bahahaha

[wasalaqawi]

way to represent new zealand.... i went to see his show in chch when he came over directly from oz and he used some of this material- nay perfected it- probably just inbetween his kids driving him mad..."Then you jump into the sea filled with things all specifically designed to kill you- sharks, swimming knives---theyr all in there..." his fucking sheer brilliant delivery grows on me more and more. im so jealous of his wife!

[loviingpetewentz]

genius

[twoplusoneisthree]

yeah def! if you can't take a joke about aus then you aren't aussie

[Cynikles]

Jesus, if you can't take a joke about your own country then you aren't Australian. Jesus.

[NickiTherese]

right. Well if you lot are offended, I was born in england and then moved to australia. So, basically, he is bagging out my life to date.

But I laugh because it is FUNNY and Dylan Moran happens to be a comic genius. Nuff said.

PS. I fully support this kill a wiggle rally. Let's all get pitchforks and start a riot.

[MentalLental94]

he says "crackling" heaps cool!

hahaa

[AmiableEnemy]

He he. Dylan is brilliant.

[AlexandriaM]

"...like every country that has a suspect past," lol.

[RANK7241]

OMG! How dare he say that about the mother-colony! I'm insulted on behalf of our desert! Jokes, i'm actually from New Zealand, I don't care what he says, even if I was Australian. If you can't take a joke, then fuck you.

[anarchyintheau]

I don't understand how anyone can be insulted by this (except for the Wiggles)

I am Australian.

He insulted AUSTRALIA, the climate, the animals, the envirnoment.

He didn't insult AUSTRALIANS.

And Pindle. I like Australia. I wouldn't be surprised if you were American.

[thegroomstrippedbare]

That's so funny.. kill a wiggle.. lol

[rainebetts11]

Im australian,

and I think you all need to calm down.

He bags england, america, australia, even ireland.

It's called comedy, it doesn't mean he hates that country;

it means he knows how to point out amusing characteristics about that country.

=] Dylan Moran's brilliant!

[klutzyoldfool]

These may be the wisest words i've ever heard on youtube. Props.

[learytoula]

im not goin off at dylan im tellin of a fucker who disses another country for no reason

[spliffzhappen2tex]

i fink he was talkin 2 pindle, not moran :D

[riotgirlxx92]

He did say it to your faces. He sort of performed this in Australia. In front of Australians. And he also tells jokes about the English, Irish, Scottish, Americans and various other nationalities. So calm down.

[suspendedchaos]

how, you guys are fucking too sensitive. get a sense of humour. dylan is one of the most talented comedians around.

[pindle]

he doesn't like australia

but who does?

[joeyfalcone]

how do you know? it looks like everyone here doesnt like you, but who does?

[Moggeth]

lol.

Almost everybody likes Australians.

And if you don't it's because either you're anally retentive or Dylan Moran.

[Scoob505]

Thats what you want to beleive.

[IcAnHaSvEgEbUrGeR]

Australia unfortunatly

[spliffzhappen2tex]

where IS melbourne??

[down417]

HAHA, idiot.

[will464]

You think this is good? you should see his tv series "black books"

[Imgonnasaveus]

bwahahaha...The Wiggles are awesome :P

[lizzy710]

i don't know why but the "insects walking around with kneepads" bit gets me every time.

[ibesica]

can someone explain that joke to me? im a little slow and have no idea what it means

[EYEmusique]

hilarious! :-)

[boozerlynn21]

i love dylan moran, he has to be one of the best stand ups around,no matter what hes talkin about its always hilarious, im addicted

[annaisjesus]

not his best stand up.

he can be far more hilarious than this.

still i don't blame him, Melbourne is so depressing. I know because I live in Melbourne. It's boring, don't bother coming, seriously.

[oyntzen18]

legend... this man can be hilarious!

[RainbowCatcher8]

no a wiggle is one of the characters in an Aussi childrens show

[AndThenIDied]

A Wiggle...does he mean those fuzzy snake like toys that children tangle between their fingers?

[piero0054]

very funny man!!!

[KatieTheWeird]

I was at that show! He's so intelligent. And witty. And lovely. *sighs* Lol :-)

[diamondstargazer1990]

you too huh? lol xD

[diamondstargazer1990]

luff him!!!

[P86X3]

He's so funny but he's always wearing the same blue shirt..

[deviousli]

I have watched this three times in a row and it doesn't lose any humour.

[darkaproN]

jellyfish and sharks and other things that hate you - awesome!

[raisin22]

DYLAN MORAN IS THE BEST. black books is awsome.

[sneaker81]

i love dis guy, he talks da truth and makes it funny but yet i am sure many people dnt think so hahahaz

[hayabusahoon]

WOOT DYLAN MORAN WOOT hes such a funny guy i love black books hes very funny im goin to see him in brisbane in may :D WOOOO

[elizajane9]

wiggle?

[Baelyn1990]

Australian childrens music and tv group. Their the biggest selling thing in Australia. They've sold more than ACDC even.

[gramiton34]

Was up all night watching this guys clips..he is freaking hallarious!!!!

[Daringa]

yeah! AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!

[ZeHuntress15]

PMSL

I cant stop laughing.

I think I'll help him with his Wiggle Killing thing. XD

[Aeternus6666]

Watch Black Books. Best sitcom EVER!

[ghostspaf]

Ah blackbooks owns! bill baley + dylan moran = have a wank

[carcharodonoodle]

what does that mean, have a wank?

[Ichthus1088]

wow...ive only seen two clips of this guy and he's hilarious!!! i want more!!! lol

[didijenning]

"The only real reason I came here is to kill a Wiggle." Hilarious!

[Kaldeko]

Ah, I love Dyln Moran. "They seem to draw energy from the hatred they inspire in me." :)