Cave Johnson - When life gives you lemons (Subtitles 1080p)

[molly1002]

The only video game where a potato has an orgasm...Amazing *nods*

[rosterking1]

I love the part where he nods and agrees with GLaDOS.

[stevieray345]

1:02  1/2 speed

[MVNIdewinalisa]

1:34 to 1:37

GLaDOS sounds like she was singing...

THIS IS EPIC!!! XD

[FieldPyro]

Turn on subtitles and watch

[aarongama24]

thumbs up if you grabed a lemon and either ate it(really hard since its sour) or made lemonade. i ate it :-D

[Chynaash]

I was right there with Glados.....got to change my panties.

[N0tsaved]

This video just made me realize why shooting a portal to the moon worked.

[silentspring222]

Am I the only one who thinks this is REALLY sad when the second part of the speech is included (about brainmapping and such?)

[xXSpitflameXx]

Cave 4 president

[Gibson299]

GET MAD, I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!

[Chfez6000]

"Do you know who I am? I'm the guy who's going to burn your house down. With lemons."

[supergirl9ish]

I get it: After CJ downfall he wanted Caroline in the computer. Later in portal 2 when Wheatley took over she said "It clinged to me like a tumor and you were the tumor" So my question is:Do you think Wheatley and Cave have connection from that quote and this Video?

[XxKyle09]

@supergirl9ish No, in the comic, you must have seen the scienties fixing a core, most likely that was Wheatley, but he never got in GLaDOS.

But CJ died before it was possible to put people into a computer... when Caroline died... it was possible.

[sawyerfan01]

Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!

[PS3Fan487]

I will walk up to random people selling lemons/lemonade and say "I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS."

[Corkoth55]

i should really get this game.

[Gir558]

That last yeah was the worst...or best?one.

[thetripledoubleZ]

Lemons that burns your house down?

I guess we'll call them

*puts sunglasses on*

Lemon'ades

[TheNaziTaco]

@thetripledoubleZ YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!­!!

[waltdisney19282008]

@thetripledoubleZ OH YEAH!!

[BetterThanMeOfCourse]

YEAH TAKE THE LEMONS!

[zionravescene]

"Goodbye, sir."

Awwwwww, sweet...

[Eivyll]

He says what we're all thinking!!!

[Armydude1233]

LOL sounds like that having sex xD

[GiftedContractor]

I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS!

[kareninmotion]

GLaDOS is Caroline! thats awesome!

[rougefaced]

LOOOOL GLaDOS gets an orgasm when he talks about burning houses down XD

[shishoka]

Oh, so that's why GlaDOS is so insane. Cave Johnson's personality sort of failed. Wonder how many other test subjects are stored on that hard drive.

[Apengotter]

Cave Johnson dont take shit from nobody

[bennickandfriends]

2 people got there house blown up by the combustible lemons

[UndeadHollywoody]

2 people got blown up with those lemons...

[PBSoldierkiller]

Rofl! When Cave Johnson said about Life and lemons, i have found another solution! :D When life gives you lemons, YOU BLOW THOSE FUCKING LEMONS WITH YOUR LASER CANNON! *BOOM* >:D

[pokefan1359]

@PBSoldierkiller a hahahahaha i cant stop laughing.

[kungenchrille]

BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!

[shatteredglassluck1]

only Cave Johnson can give a potatoe an orgasm

[GinjaNinjaWTF]

BILL'S VOICE!

[omano117]

so the point of his rant about lemons was a.i.?

[bancoran]

I can just imagine PotaDOS hopping up and down in her little perch...

[sonicandshadowfan12]

2 peoples houses were burned down from lemons

[xXMrPatrick1207Xx]

calm down GLaDOS he isn't having sex to you.

[IidaYukioMarcelo]

@xXMrPatrick1207Xx *SPOILER* actually glados is Caroline ,that is Chell's Mom and Chave Johnson is her dad , so they did had sex ._.

[xXMrPatrick1207Xx]

@IidaYukioMarcelo oh. I am kind of creeped out now.

[IidaYukioMarcelo]

@xXMrPatrick1207Xx haha yeah , try to dont think about it again ...

[Eivyll]

@IidaYukioMarcelo

There isn't any evidence for that. And Chell was adopted anyway.

[TKOverlord]

@Eivyll chell's father (who is unknown) worked at aperture science and took her to "bring you daughter to work day", when chell began testing

[Eivyll]

@TKOverlord

I know. I saw her potato battery project too. Adopted children do all the same things with their parents that biological children do. But lidayukiomarcelo was saying that chell is the biological child of cave johnson and caroline...for which there is no evidence.

[VinceValentine]

Biggest spoiler in the game. I almost fell out of my chair when I came to this part of the game. I wouldn't have figured out the connection between Caroline and GLaDOS before.

[NinjaVelocity]

I think glados got a bit wet during this... 0_0

[GraceTheUnstoppable]

I have to say, I love GLaDOS' reaction.

[bossfight1]

Ellen and JK must've had a fun time recording this.

[LucasJoshuaChiasson]

At first I thought GLaDoS was having an orgasm...

[ericX97]

"Burning people, He says what we're all thinking!" xD

[IamTheiPhone]

PEELZ HERE

[salidan1]

Is that Seth Rogan's voice I hear?

[shinrugal]

@salidan1 No that's JK Simmons

[cniify]

I want to CJ to buy Mann.CO P.S. And burn Saxoton Hale whit lemons.

[cj101094]

Calm down there GLaDOS XD

[GC123roxors96]

SAXTON HAAAAAAAAAALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!

[alaska95rules]

One of my favorite quotes from the game! :D

[shadownerd13]

"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" ―Cave Johnson

[imnotjustinbieber96]

I thought it sounded like GlaDos was having an orgasm

[gmodman999]

Cave Johnson: Able to give a Potato an orgasm.

[gotmilk55hd]

HE SAYS WHAT WE'RE ALL THINKING!!!!

[boomkrakatoa]

Cave Johnson:You know what they say, "when life gives you lemons, burn down life's house".

Me: O___O What?

Cave Johnson: uh....The cake is a lie?

Me: Is the cake lemon flavored?

Cave Johnson: Yes, it's made with lemons. Combustible ones. So we can burn down life's house.

Me: Cave, are you eating moon rocks again?

Cave Johnson: SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Me: Uh, I'll take that as a yes.....

[skuldorai]

This is one of my favourite scenes in P2; "BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!!" lmao!

[MichaelMacrae56]

Goodbye sir..

[SilverSinspawn]

Burn life's house down with lemons, and then use the remaining lemons to make lemonade to go with the vodka you shall drink while you watch life's house burn down.

[LiLJoN305Solider]

yeah...Yeah...YEAH...!!!

[MrTehcat]

he sounds like bill on l4d

[GymMasterAlex]

Your blood pressure, Mr. Johnson, your wife told me to tell you to watch the lemons!

[GreyMatter00Duh]

I never wanted life's lemons.



[ShaddySoldier]

is that a potato?

[MasterofRubik]

@ShaddySoldier Yes it's a potato. Didn't you play the game?

[ShaddySoldier]

@MasterofRubik nope...but guess wat? i drink moon rocks and im fine.... :D

[Joeyg143]

As Seen On: Black Women Empowerme....

What? I don't even.

[IntricationZ]

@Joeyg143 Me neither, man. Me neither.

[Intro2Awe]

@IntricationZ cave johnson is apparently a black woman, on the inside.

[faostube]

Valve made $150+ million with this game, they deserve it!

[CorporateJohnnyB]

That is true, but he did love her, hence why he gave her an undying robotic body. And that lead me to believe that they must have been in some sort of relationship.

[smstaudt]

@CorporateJohnnyB the "portrait of a woman" achievement's actual portrait shows cave johnson and a woman at her side.. romantically almost... could it be? Caroline?

[IntricationZ]

@smstaudt The person is Caroline.

[rockomundo]

GLaDOS wants to fuck Cave lol.

[CorporateJohnnyB]

@rockomundo GLaDOS was Caroline, who was in a relationship with Cave, while she was a human, so yeah.

[Saekassa]

@CorporateJohnnyB I thought she was just his assistant...

[Dynamitelawl]

I have the strangest feeling that Cave Johnson dosent like lemons...

[kipinator73]

Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!

I love GLaDOS. :'D

[RaptorWaffles]

What level does he say the second part? I'd love to find an actual walkthrough.

[Sherpard1]

anyone feel like burning something down with Aperture's new LeMONaDes(tm)?

[StarWarsfan16963]

@rinkwolf no, that is GLaDOS... wheatly turned her into a potato... chell is just carrying her

[rinkwolf]

Just saying, But is that a Potato that is powering the Gun? ..... what kind of game is this?

[Robikku]

@rinkwolf Portal 2 - and trust me, it's one to play yourself!

[gamerking1212]

@rinkwolf lol gotta play it to find out....

[failoffails]

this WILL be my senior quote

[MKWMaster95]

When life gives you science, make Aperture Science.

[WeirdNoobstv]

0 Dislikes.

Guess Cave Johnson didn't get to burn anybody's houses down.

[Sherpard1]

@WeirdNoobstv Yet......

[Emmma360]

@enderock13 OHMYGOD COCACOLA ARE TRYING TO KILL US -SIPS LEMONADE- BOOM

[FG10sAdventure]

burning people. he says what we're all thinking

[IntricationZ]

@MumblingAbomination WTF?!

[Shadowerr1]

CC transcribe audio. Sometimes works, but hilarious when it doesnt

[Emmma360]

"A combustible lemon that burns your house down".

So a grenade?

[harv1911]

A well deserved rofl

[tinydemon117]

caroline is glados right?

[Shadowerr1]

@tinydemon117 Yeah, i think GLaDOS is an evolved version of the original Caroline AI. Its confusing :S

[TheChrislikespie]

wait... GLaDoS LIKES Cave Johnson? isn't that why she hates humans?

[OzaiFan]

"I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

Engineer: Alrighty, then. *Invents combustible lemon.*

Heavy: Engineer, no!

[koffiewolf]

I AM THE MAN WO BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

[SkylarStryker]

:(

[lGREENEGGSANDSAMl]

When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! "i don't want your damn lemons! what am i supposed to do with these"

Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who i am? I'm the man who's going to burn you house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible that burns you house down!

[MacintoshX5]

I thought GLaDOS says "He set the world thinking."

[Mistystar2000]

@LadyBern If you find a shirt like that tell me

:D

[LadyBern]

@Mistystar2000 I've seen a few of them actually. One just advertising Cave Johnson's combustible lemons, one with the speech in a lemon shape, and the last I'm thinking about getting is from Sharkrobot.

[Mistystar2000]

@LadyBern Really, I thought you were just joking, I might have to get myself a shirt like that ^_^

[LadyBern]

I'm getting a shirt with the lemon speech on it.

I loved this game, funny, dark, and slightly deep. Learning about AS through the environment, recordings, and knowing that Rattman is still lurking (can hear his mad rambling through the wall of his den).

I want to see another Portal game but at the same time I don't want it to be milked to death.

Still getting that shirt.

[lockbreak12]

@LadyBern really? you can hear it or do you mean in his art?

[LadyBern]

@lockbreak12 Yeah in that area. Someone has isolated his voice and has it posted somewhere around here. I figure he woke up earlier than Chell and has been lurking around in his insanity. I think in one case when you leave one of the dens a door is closed behind you. It might be him. And since I like him so much I chose to believe that he lives.

[LadyBern]

@lockbreak12 Yeah the voice you hear when you're near his artwork in that one den. And given that the door of the den closes once you leave it's possible that he woke up a bit earlier than Chell and it's him in there staying hidden as his insanity grows more consuming. Given how great he was I'd like to think that he is still alive.

[LadyBern]

@lockbreak12 You mean in that one den? Yeah. Some people have nicely isolated his voice from that part but you still can't understand a word of it really, and once you leave that room it closes. Since he's a nice crazy guy I'd like to believe that he woke up a bit earlier than Chell and went about his usual hint leaving ways and was near by in that area. If this game has taught me anything things tend to be still alive when you think they are dead.

[crabfight]

@LadyBern

I think it's Rattmann's ghost. :(

[LadyBern]

@crabfight Shh! Don't crush my delusions of him being alive.

Aperture is about science, we have no need for the likes of the paranormal jibber-jabber about ghosts here. And even if we did we'd have sucked his soul into a core and used it for science.

[Number1Score]

I thought it was sad from this part to where GlaDOS deletes caroline from the memory at the end. :(

[talascio]

When life gives you lemons... throw them out the window and ask for something better

[AstropilotStudios]

Brain mapping? So apparently the whole world turned their own brains into swiss cheese after the war against the Combine?

[gbtygfvyg]

@AstropilotStudios Cave Johnson died WAY before the combine even came to Earth.

[mixxdupyoface]

@gbtygfvyg No, not way.

[Ebrainiac1]

GLaDORgasm

[MegaToasts]

"burning people! He says what we were all thinking!"

[bunniesaresocutey]

"Caroline, please bring me more pain pills."

This actually brought tears to my eyes :(

[RyouuichiKun15]

GLaDOS orgasm

[MyReggieBody]

YEAH OH YEAH YEAH

That game me the biggest boner

[DynoDevon]

When life gives you lemons, Don't make lemonade, Make life takes lemon back!

Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I suppose to theese?

Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give ___________ (insert anyone's name here) lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemons that burns your house down!!

A great quote by ~ Cave Johnson

[mushroomshrub]

GLaDOS sounds just a mite dirty here. Maybe Caroline and Cave were more than just co-workers?...

[HOLYtheKNIGHT]

@mushroomshrub Spoiler:Yeah they were more than that.Theres a hidden place with a painting of them standing next to eachither like wife and husband.

[thelegendoflink52]

@HOLYtheKNIGHT It's not hidden. You have to go past it.

[stonetheforbidden]

@thelegendoflink52 It's semi-hidden. It's not too far off your path, but you still have to portal up there. It's not like you can just "look left" and see it as you're passing by. It's easy to miss.

[thelegendoflink52]

@stonetheforbidden Oh, THAT one. I was thinking of a different picture.

[nemitis0]

I like later on in the chapter when she says "That crazy man back there was right, we will not take these lemons!"

[archlorddestin]

Was it just me or was Glados getting a bit turned on?

[deifo]

Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!

[86HSHM86]

Cave Johnson!!!!!!! BITCHÄÄÄÄÄSS!

[flarn2006]

"Caroline, please bring me more pain pills."

PEELS HERE!

[derpguyjohn]

It's wonderful how understated the exposition is in this game. When you think about it, it doesn't just explain where glados came from, it explains why she is so mentally unbalanced and deceptive- glados is the result of caroline, a perfectly nice secretary/research assistant being forced in to a computer that was originally intended to house the mind of cave johnson, who, while completely awesome, is clearly a lunatic.

[BS4Tactful]

@derpguyjohn A lot of wheatley's early dialogue is full of call-forwards to plot points that happen later in the game too. It's the best-written videogame I've ever played.

[DavidLinkan]

@derpguyjohn To go deeper your way, something bugged me in Cave's rant : When he says " she'll argue, she's modest like that, but you'll make her !" he's already deep into his sickness. Maybe, just maybe getting the "genetic lifeform" component of Glados is as horrible and twisted as the rest of Aperture's tests, and knowing this, Caroline just tried to save her neck by saying "no". From Cave's twisted point of view, it's modesty.

Just a thought. :)

[super6plx]

my absolute favourite part:

The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million.

Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure posion. I am deathly ill.

[lightspeedasH]

you know i would pay to watch J.K. Simmons recording the rant

[Kuroioogama]

@lightspeedasH I help you PAY!!!!

[UltrarubikXD]

Im the only one who screamed: "LETS BURN IT ALL!" along with GlaDOS?

[crabalockerfishwife6]

I love how his voice makes the slightest crack when he says "Do you know who I am?!" like he's about to have an emotional breakdown and start crying...but then it's Cave Johnson so he moves on straight to anger and then acceptance.

[georgek19]

that was sweet when glados said goodbye.

[SaintLouisX]

Did anyone else think GLaDOS is having an orgasm at "Yeah take the lemons!"?

[Egth0ridon]

@SaintLouisX is that even possible for Potatoes?

[LordDVS]

Yeah!

Yeah!!

Yeah!!! Take the lemons! (I like this guy!)

[lab32]

peeeeeeeeeeeeeels

[wedgeff7]

Poor Cave Johnson... :[

[KingKombat95]

i thought glados wasn't supposed to have emotional outbursts

[Sithno]

@KingKombat95 part of her Corruption

[KingKombat95]

@Sithno actually I meant because she would short out again

[Sithno]

@KingKombat95 ahh ok srry :P

[JDoubIeU]

@KingKombat95 GLaDOS IS Caroline also.

[SilverWingedBandit]

@KingKombat95

You obviously underestimate the sheer power of a woman's orgasm.

[FancyCoke]

I never get tired of this. :P

[Brenlash721]

it makes me sad when she says "Good bye, sir" : (

[TrickKae]

@Brenlash721

Ditto, makes me want to see more of GlaDOS

[Brenlash721]

@TrickKae Do you think they are going to make another portal game?

[TrickKae]

@Brenlash721

Possibly, I get the feeling we're gonna see a lot of DLC for Portal 2 definatly

[Toastertron3000]

@Brenlash721 Yes :D

[PchanStitch]

@Brenlash721 The whole thing makes me sad, I mean, all this time we thought GlaDOS was just plain evil...then you find out...it made me tear up a bit!