and you will stay single am telling you why man will never submite to woman a real good man allway looks for woman who submite to them then they can treat her like a princes you llok like you nag alot thats another thing most of lating and black woman do that alot and we man hate that
and you will stay single am telling you why man will never submite to woman a real good man allway looks for woman who submite to them then they can treat her like a princes
Would you like to hear the honest truth or a lie? Well the honest truth is that men want a submissive woman. Or at least a deferential woman. That's not you, I know. And honestly, that "not" is what keeps you alone at night. You may now shoot the messenger...
The #1 beneficiary of Affirmative Action is WHITE WOMEN ("women and minorities", rmember?). Black women are selected by white corporate America, only as it serves their white needs.
i think you havea good point, i feel mnay black men join the military, not all, but it seems many, i am white, but i observe peopel for fun. the question is identifying activites that are black orienated, i hope it does not sound disrespectfull.
the next question is what is your your cities racial make up,
i also must note that corperations kill 2 birds with one stone, i am brutally honest but i am me. yes it has
This vid ends up at a place much different than it's title or beginning. Regardless, I hope there is more opportunity now for both women and blacks than when Elizabeth Stanton Cody and Frederick Douglas wrote their essays. Next month I will see the movie, For Colored Girls and perhaps gain some additional perspectives. I'm aware that more kids are being raised by parents in families that don't have the wherewithal to raise kids. I think that has a lot to do with what you may be talking about.
If both of you are climbing, or choose to climb they "corporate" ladder, how can the both of you focus on children? Perhaps, you or your future husband will need to climb down off that ladder. Good video.
@56Stiffy Hey keep talking like that and I'll track your IP down. Then post to every black person what you wrote and what your home address is and all your personal info. You're uneducated and ignorant. Black American make up less than 12.4% of the US population you dumb fu#k. 75% are Caucasian. There are more Caucasian on welfare than and other race in North America. What's draining the economy are banks siphoning out tax dollars from the economy. Not the people. 56Stiffy you're ignorant.
You seem to be attractive woman with sound mental aptitude. It would be better for you to keep your priniples intact than to lower them and remain unhappy. Don't take it personaly when people speak negative of you on your videos... You are not wrong tospeak the truth!
I would also say you seem to place so much dependance on work and "getting ahead" (I'm looking at the way you hold you phone) That is good on one level but If you don't choose to develop the connection with the creator and try to get ahead in that area you will always be confused and feel lost at certain points.
You should STOP LOOKING FOR A MAN!! You should focus on God and doing good works in YOUR community CLEANING up YOUR HEALTH and build your happiness. ONLY WHEN women are happy and healthy and NOT DESPARATE!! and have a pure good HEART. Real MEN WILL BE SO ATTRACTED TO YOU and they places you will be helping others THE MEN U run into YOU WILL HAVE YOUR MAN!! Don't FORCE THE ISSUE! DON"T DO THINGS OUT OF FEAR!!
Problem here. You failed in that 7 year relationship. Regardless of what happened, thats just the deal. So since then, you've been building a career. This is a disturbing trend for women and for men. Your ultimate goal is to find love, but you've spend so long building a back up plan.
On another note. I have never come in contact with a black woman, of a bigger build, that has been nice to me. I'm white. I get it. But why do some black women put up such a mean front towards white men?
all i'm saying is that even in this vid, you come off too strong. you say that you're down. but i cant help but wonder if you're too picky? or that you're too comfortable in your own surroundings? I don't know.
@underlinedbluetext - it was a failure on both of us - not just me nor not just him. It was not since the relationship ended was that the only time in my life I was building my career it has been an ongoing for me. This does not preclude not having nor building a relationship. What do you mean you have not come in contact with a black woman of a bigger build. Do you mean you have been living under a rock? Also, what do you mean black women put a mean front towards white men?
@freckles2720. well, i'm def not a racist, if thats what your thinking. I guess I was just spilling thoughts. That last question is too loaded to even talk about. I shouldn't have said that : x
So I am done with my reply to u and wont look at your reply back. because its a waste of time. for real, dont waste your time sending back it wont get read. PEace.
In other land where my people are at, their are way more afican couples in numbers like u woundnt imagine. So yea the european brianwashed women are made nasty vile and bty design and men are made to be lost, hopeless and weak minded because we are a threat if we have our mind as powerful as our bodies. but we have been beating this and will beat this in the end.
this was set up by the onesided racist european snowmonkey system in ameriaKKKa ok? Everywhere the europeans go they fuck up shit. Africa, this land usa really natives land, asia india middle east u name it, they fuck it up. truth. back to my point at hand tho. Our true culture of the land of africa before the euros came to fuck with us was better. Not as many problems as there is now there and here in AmeriKKKa. The women have been brainwashed into acting like this over many lifetimes, also men
Women have been tricked by feminist to pursue careers rather than a husband. You should look for man that can and is taking care of himself and treats you with respect and love. Rather he has a degree or not is not important. Most BM regardless of education find it hard to get high paying jobs. It's called racism and you must be aware of this problem. Most BM don't excel by design not because they are lazy. Also It seems like you looking for a fairytale romance. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Be real
Women tricked to pursue a career rather than a husband? I am well aware of racism especially. I am not seeking a fairytale romance. I expect in my age range a man to be able to do certain unlike if he were some decades younger. Answer me this 'Wisebrother78' how would you feel if your partner said to you he/she isnt able to take you to lunch' ( been 2gether 4 mths)? A Ruby Tuesday's lunch for 2 would cost $25.00 but the money was spent on smokes. How would you feel?
@freckles2720, well I would think the person is more interested in smoking than eating. So now it would be up to you or whoever to decide rather you want to keep the relationship going. It's just that simple. Sounds like this guy is immature, I would ask where are you meeting these cats who can't buy burgers..lol
I am going to comment with your statement 'this guy is immature'. It is what I call trapped with the past and allowing oneself to wallow and preventing oneself to raise up. I agree not being able to 'buy a burger(s) is not the right approach to express to one's partner. I did appreciate his honesty. After the honesty he expressed I felt 'come on' not again freckles2720'. Not another one and it was with that and other values that it was better left as not being in or pursuing a future.
brothas have been set up mentally by this racist nation to think like this. We have to break this brainwashed cycle. My dad is from west africa and he has all the things u seem like u want. He is the example of the true
I agree with breaking the brainwashed cycle. It seems lots of us sistas are in relationships with the brothas but I had enough. So tell me wakeupworld100 how do you feel in particular brothas get passed this cycle?
EXPOSURE. they need to talk to brothas that are aware of this like. and that lead by example. and also know that they are a threat in the minds of the "MEN ON THE MONEY" who stole this land. they need to stop thinking how the european man has trained our people to think and is the reason for are people being stripped of our natural concepts and stong minds we have by nature. also showing this info to all of our people. on youtube. check out my friend WISENUBIAN on my freind list. He my elder.
also we have to tell the youth this like NOW. and not let these europeans steal our children and again brainwash aka brainraped them and make them how alot of grown people with child minds is today. I was stuck before but am awoke now. So we have to show this in they face and teach the youth this. they our future 4 real yo.
@freckles2720 If you are not working for the good of YOURSELF YOUR FAMILY & YOUCOMMUNITY then that irritation of not feeling complete will nag you and anyone that gets with you will disapoint you at some point!
form of what a african man is born to act like. African men have land upon land, in the mother land. business tactics and street smarts. europeans dont want men here to have power because they are scared of us. they know we can out do them. Go get a man that is in touch with his true culture. Nubian in tune with himself.
I would say confidently its easier for a woman than a man to find someone. Traditionally its allways been the man doing the asking whilst the woman just bides her time and waits, but its also about chosing wisely but your time will come, all good things come to those who wait.
Ah, one would think that but who really knows. It depends alot on our age range, social needs, enviornment, etc... I am in love with someone but the time is just not right. So, here I go again in search for this 'elusive husband'.
I would be more than happy to marry you Ms. poster, but my ex wife didnt leave anything for us to live on. OH WAIT, she did leave one ink pen, but thats just for writing her alimony checks. At least I have her lawyer paid off now. Wouldn't it just be easier for you to adopt me? If you can make creamed chipped beef over homemade biscuits, with REAL lemonade, I'll follow you anywhere! Love ya, sista;.... and good luck! Hope marriage treats you better than it treated me. : - (
LOL, I'm probably too old for social security! The 50's aren't fab! Y'know, they say your biggest 10 year physical decline happens in your 50's. I'll attest to that, cause God, something hurts EVERY day! Rhumatiz and ole Arthur I reckon. Since I have no partner either, I must try to teach my dog to do a massage. Still adoptable however. IF I ever get married again, I think I may look to the motherland. A Ghana lovely who can fry a muscrat. PS - Natural hair says volumes 'bout ya! : - )
In the past it wasn't as big an issue, but women who strive to attain beauty based on Euro standards may not have a healthy attitude about their beauty or race. At least often times. I have found in my experience that women who wear a more afro-centric or natural style tend to be better read, more culturally aware, politically astute and proud of their heritage. Naw, email has proven to be unreliable. My goal is to visit Ghana, Ivory Coast and hopefully Kenya, but for cultural reasons 1st.
Be it African or American, I won't entertain the thought of dyed blond hair, blue contacts, tattoos etc..; but permed or pressed are too popular to eliminate from contention. But I prefer natural. My buddy Mike (STONE hillbilly from the NC mountains) advises me not to marry ANY woman who can't skin and dress out a deer and clean catfish. I don't eat either so, hmm? However this summer I plan to do my first pig roast on a spit. Might even kill him myself. (or get killed trying)
I'm a Black Man and Good one. I work for the Federal Government and I can tell you that EEOC work against Black Males. This is no joke. White Males get promoted just because they are white. If you are uncle tom you will get a break.. so sad..
Sadly it IS your focus on black men. I'm not telling you to date outside your race or anything. The heart wants what it wants, and you can't help who you are attracted to or what you have in common with someone. But it's a numbers game.
It seems like you want a man at your level education and occupational wise. That makes it even harder. There are only so many educated, professional black men out there, that you will come into contact with, and who are willing to give you a shot.
Sorry, for the delay with my response. You are correct. I have exclusively dated within my race and have narrowed down the field considerably. I did find someone but it ended not because of his race but because of influences that needed to be put first. I am going to open myself to other races. I've tried staying within my race but after all these years and failed attemptes...
This is the problem with black women. They only are looking for black men and the black men don't want them. We need to be more like Asian women and date outside of our race more. So many black women are sitting at home waiting for a black man who is not coming. Open your horizons. Men are men. Get over the race thing. Just find a man (no matter his race) who wants to be with you.
Yes You are doing something wrong, You think that the perfect man must be on the same material level as you. With the war that is on our people mainly against our brothers, the white devil is using your status of success or failure to keep you separate from your MAN Sista.
Your statement is so way out of line - I do not know where to begin but to write I am in a war just as the next person. The difference I refuse to let the war hinder me and that is a similar value I seek. What's wrong with that?
You're fine girl!! and I've heard of many women that are in your situation but i know for a fact that as women, we're not supposed to search for a man. They are supposed to come to us. So you may have to open your eyes to other nationalities. Be a friend with a non-african american man to get a feel of how they are (if you havent already) and get rid of that limitation. You just might be holding yourself back.
My heart was into that man that I overlooked my own mental well being. We both wanted similar things and had similar vaules but when one partner suffers with depression and I was doing the best I could well - the year just went by. Never ever again will I not listen to my inner voice.
Men have time to waste because we can get our money right until we are 40 and date younger women. Women are built differently and you have a time clock. Im a 36 year old Morehouse Man and I know a good woman when I see one. It doesnt take me seven years to figure it out. One year will do.
@freckles2720 Black women make the same mistakes over and over and over again. regardless of what's going on with black men, you have to focus on getting married at an early age. black women absolutely waste their 20s dating men for years of just having fun. a black woman should NEVER date a man for 7 years after the age of 25. In all honestly, after 21 a black woman needs to be focused, focused, focused on getting married. You can't sow your oats like men.
@freckles2720 You asked "am I doing something wrong?" the answer is yes. You did something wrong 7 years ago. Think about all the men you could have dated in that time. Think about all the good men you could have gone out with and allowed to court you. If you give some lame dude a decade of your life it's over. I'm not trying to be hard on you but I see it all the time. The fact of the matter is that sistas give a smooth decade of their life away to worthless men and then want to get married
I think you have a high taste for a Mr right,,you are a beautiful lady,if you are still searching,there is a broblem somewhere?,it might be an attitude problem?,wnen last did you check? marriage is a sensitive issue for Black brothers ,concentrate on your attitude towards men,losen up a little,and donot overexpect a perfect gentileman,these days a perfect gentleman is no different from us
Attitude no. I am fiercely funny. Good person, giving, not a diva nor clothes horse. I like to take care of my home and my garden and my mind. I am not looking for perfection just someone with similar values. Simple - right?
I saw some talking head on CNN say that zero tolerance polices get young black men kicked out of school then 3 strikes laws, and a negative racial bias in the the justice system gets them slammed right into jail.
I think you're right in that aspect about black men moving up and there are black men I hear about in the corp world that can verify that. Black men these days are blue collar or own their own businesses and of course you know where the rest of them are. Us as men, I've told a lady friend or two we ahd a desire to marry early in our live but the women, some weren't interested because they wanted to better themselves and when they get older now, they can't find a man. Interesting concept ain't it
Those women are still whining about "I cain't find no good black men". It's because of what I said. Y'all wanted to be independent, get going in careers what have you and the men wanted to marry you THEN. Now you're whatever age and so are WE. Now YOU'RE interested in marriage and now WE'RE not. Those men either married some other women black or otherwise or like me, not interested in marriage AT ALL. Do ya get it now?
From a black man here in the desert, I so can relate to your story when i was single it was difficult. I am one of the good ones who see and hear your pain. But let me be the first to say the man you desire may come in a totally different package than what you expect. So don't limit yourself because my wife wanted a light skin man and i wanted light skin woman neither got what they wanted as far as the package but everything else once we looked deep was there. You are beautiful, Good luck sis
To be honest it seems as though BM and BW are like fighter fish these days, they cant occupy the same space at the same time without fighting. I think the destruction of the black family and the black race is here. Soon the black people in America will be direct mulattos.....
"I think the destruction of the black family and the black race is here." The 'rut' cannot be destroyed cause the entire tree would fall. What is a mulato? U either are connected to the oldest ppL on the face of Mother Earth or ur not. What race did to OriginaL ppL was devestating. A race is a competition, and the system that created the "race" complex practice racism, which by def. is where one group owns and controls much of the power, wealth, and...
resources that they can deprive/deny another group of those same priviledges. Black ppL need to overstand that we are currently involved in a game where the odds are against us drastically. MATERIALISM DOES NOT EQUATE TO THE REASON Y U ARE TRULY HERE. KNOWLEDGE OF SELF IS SUPREME. P.e.a.c.e. to Sistah Freckles, i'm 26, and there are definiteLy some good brothaz out here, b.u.t. they may not be in the corporate world. They may have a good 9-5....
I hear this so much and Im in VA, I would have thought where you are things would be different but I guess not...also I hate to say but with you being of light skin I would have thought you had better luck that I lol
I hate to say it but I think its time as AA women that we stop looking at black men only.....
Freckles, I feel your frustration..Im a Single, Saved Sista!.and the brothers aren't in church either at least not at mines..lol...I think you said a key thing though...where are you lookin?...maybe that's the issue. God is still preparing you and ME. Maybe there are some things you need to work on within yourself before God blesses you with a mate..I kno I got some issues that God is still working on me with..and until I take some real self inventory on ME, I feel then God will line it up!
She lost her job , and everything else about 6 months ago. I will always remember that day, when I got that IM. Hey can you land me 500$. I've never been the sefish, gredy ,or angry type of brother . If it wasn't for my girl that said give it to her I probably would of never did. I know it might of been the wrong thing to do because I knew that's not who I was . Believe she not the only example during my 15 months jouney while I waorking working three jobs.
I feel for you sis,but a lot of black women screw things up for the good ones like your self. Believe me I was probably the type of brother that would never date another race until about three years ago. After I got out of the Army, I lost my car, a drunk driver almost killed. The so called Educated ,independent sister that was working for a none profit organization didn't want to date me anymore because I lost
everything. Now three years later the roles are reverse.
black women were raised without a father, but guess what when it comes to black women for some reason in kentucky where i live, they are not that many educated black woman and when you find she is either seeing a white boy or spanish boy,
Sis, this is the CORE of what most Black Men should be talking about. And point is this-Black Women have been hired and trained, to kill BlackMen. I'm going to qualify that for you. What I never got, was denied by a BLACK WOMAN-NOT A WHITE MAN. You want to know why? Because I was NOT a hoodrat; because I was NOT a thug. Because I WAS educated; I was more capable that a BLACK WOMAN has been taught a BLACK MAN is. She has been taught that Black men are, and should stay, nothing.
I, as a BW who as you intimated 'are collateral damage in this gender war' has not given up on my BM for I know there are lots of BM who do not feel BW are or feel we are collateral damage in this gender war. I respect your decision to be done with BW and good luck with other women of other races.
con. - and be onSome down-to-earth, conscious, simple complexity type shyt, who knows. B.u.t. like you i have workedHard to gain what i have been able to obtain overall, so i am selective as well. My onlyAdvice to you would be to converse with conscious brothers, cuz otherwise ur risking waisting time with a brain dead person. That was the same advice that i gave to my ex-gal, who i Luv to this day. The best advice i was given in my plight was to stop looking and keep my eyes open.
P.e.a.c.e., God Bless, and i know what ur looking for will reveal itself, patience has brought me signs that what i've been waiting for will come in time.
I'm sorry but I plan on making good money and moving through the corporate ladder and being overall successful, and I honestly can't see myself with someone who works as a mail carrier for UPS even if he is fine as hell and funny. Call it what you what but to me black men aren't willing to go the extra mile 2 live well and better themselves, they aren't enrolling in college or even trade schools and this is really just making me wonder what my future will look like when I am ready to get married
reply to ohsoofierce: Gurl it's gonna be difficult. The few brothas you'll find with degrees are either married or self centered. -supply & demand- many will think that they are the best thing since indoor plumbing! but don't give up!!! I'm married to a good one but, trust i met much mess before meeting my husband.
even though I am 23, I can see where you are coming from I am currently a grad student, a semester short of my MBA (@ NJIT) and I too like, no love black men, however its hard to find someone with goals I'm not looking to get married or anything but, I want a real relationship, and I want someone to meet me half way and have goals and be a MAN
me personally (disclaimer im no expert)...BW should take care of their looks because whether we like it or not appearance matters....get out there and live your life meeting people who share common interests even if it doesnt mean common incomes....be friendly, approachable, and interested with healthy confidence.....like to read? raid bookstores, libraries, book clubs. like to watch movies raid places where there are vids. raid green houses and connect with brothas there.
Right on sista, you know more then you give yourself credit for. Realise that the racist based society that we were raised in CAN NOT afford to empower black men and black women of the same generation, that would begin to heal the Family unit and that is a NoNo Big-Time! So just keep in mind that when you come across a comon character flaws of black men its an encoded social trait designed to disrupt any harmony with his ethnic counterpart. Thus, the ultimate failure abounds, no family.
Dayne, I made an observation about the lack of bros in corporate America. It does not mean I will not or have not date bros from corporate America. By the way, most of the BM I have dated and have had relationships were not in corporate America.
Black women having to fend for themselves and becoming independent of their men has caused anger among Black women, watch my videos-
TEN REASONSBlack Men Wont Date Or Marry Black Women
Oprah and Tyra ignore whats going between us, our children are now killing each other because we refuse to discuss the issues keeping us apart. The crime rate is increasing. There's no successful Black community anywhere in America having a Man in the home as a leader and provider thanks to white racism. SAD
Freckles there is a serious gender war going on between BM and Black women, your video really sums up what the problems is. The white man knows white women love BM and he wants to keep his daughters away from that BM swagger, he aint about to help BM improve their swag buy employing them to look even better to white women. CNN and MSNBC series have endorsed BW 'dating out' rather than us getting along within our race, why? Because they've given up on
Yes, I have been in offices a long time and count the number of times I have seen black men versus black women. It just frustrates cause I have conversations with some BM who have expressed they want to be able to have a position in an office but feel they would not be considered or hired. Sad.
I worked in a government office and all the Black men were looked upon as suspects. They fire BM for any little thing but let women get away with being drunk on the job and outrageous things. Being loud and clowning is ok for a Black woman on the job but a soon as a BM gets loud they act like he's gonna shoot up the place. Its nothing new, history shows BW often had to take care of BM or have no man at all, thats why so many BW have sons who stay at home long after adulthood, society's rejects.
Yes, it's sad. It is so painfully obvious that the system does this. I refuse to allow the system to hold me back. I had and will always implement a plan.
years back when a black man was working as a bus driver while holding an MBA because of Jim Crowe laws restricting his access to employment, if the women then did what ur suggesting... where would we be?
u see the discrimination... so just because it's not on a law book that he can't get promoted... should u hold that against him?
don't wait on corporate america to acknowledge ur king. U can see him for his beauty without their approval. :)
I have dated the mailroom person, the parking lot attendant, the middle manager, the construction work, and some others in various fields. The mailroom person is no longer in the mailroom he has moved up in his chosen career such as the others I have listed. They are not complacent. Neither am I. I make no apologies for wanting someone who holds a value similiar to mine.
growth in what respect... b/c the growth u fixated on in the video was promotion and growth within corporate america... i didnt hear u complaining about lack of spiritual growth or growth in knowledge.
Knowing who you are, creating goals but not just creating goals being realistic with them and putting them into action. I encompass goals/growth with spirtuality/knowledge. Let me ask you queenbaset, where do you stand on the issue of meeting a mate. What do you look for?
And with all that it don't matter his social standing as long as he's got a job, I like it in you. Remember though, you gotta give back. God Bless! Oh by the way, you don't sound too demanding unlike some other black women and women in general. That's a good thing.
I have to ask you what is more important: the title at his job OR the education in his mind??? If a man can hold the conversation that you crave and give the affection that you need...
does it really matter whether or not corporate america gives him a title of "manager" or "director"?
It's kind of like ur waiting for "corporate america" to approve ur future mate before u select him.
Thanks for your comment. Holding a conversation is just part of what as you put it I crave. I also as I said at my age there are certain expectations one would have versus when they are younger just like I expect the to change as I grow older. No, I am not waiting for the 'corporate America' person. I am waiting for the person who is about moving and improving. I am not looking for complacency.
My dear Freckles, it's white male insecurity and hatred of Black males that
affects Black males and it's impact is so bad that it has many Black women hating Black men as well, blaming thier men for what white men are doing which causes BM to resent BW thus avoiding them.
Also BW don't expect their sons to do much seeing the obstacles BM face. Many BW won't even hug and nurture their own sons, but will tell their daughters 'you go gurl'. BW r looking down on BM and up to white men, BM are mad.
OMG, Ms. Freckles, you are my twin!raising my hands in the air. I am in the same boat. I have been on my face in prayer about this for so long that i quick asking. I DONT understand. I have talked to the guy friends that i do know and they tell me that i am intimidating... I look at them w/ a ? on my face. To ThisCoolKidx, God is first, trust me, he is.. and im still single. I wish i knew the answer to your question Ms. Freckles, when i find it, you will be the first to know, many blessings.
Thanks for your taking the time to view my video and comment. I am not as you put it 'THAT' desperate and have no opposition to other races. What about you do you date or are married to someone outside of your marriage?
hello, thank you for replying if my comment came across as rude that was not my intention. Curently I am single but I would have no problem dating outside of my race if that is what you meant.
Mixed race? That's nonsense. 90% of African Americans are so-called mixed. So are Puerto Ricans, Mexican Americans, Middle Easterns and believe it or not European Americans. Check your history my friend and stop trying to manipulate African Americans.
I hear ya! Here are a few tips: do as you are doing: be natural and who you are...Many upwardly mobile black men are usually in "business". I suggest you start a business; go to entrepreneurship seminars, join business type organizations. Find your passion and turn it into a business and meet other entrepreneurs. I come from a family with a real estate background. There are many men in this field. Many upwardly expiring black men usually turn to entrepreneurship. This is my take.
I hear ya, but u seem frustrated bout this, which I can understand. I mean, I don't know but I wish I could say that it is just a few black women, but where I work there is like one black women I know that is married 2 a black man, everyone else is single or shacking up with black men. Interesting enough, now that I am older, younger men seem interested but I am very cautious about that, more so. Good Luck 2 u, I mean that.
No sense going to church, blk men don't typically go to church. Good guys are all around, perhaps for some reason you just don't notice them if they don't fit a certain image you may have.
Sister, I do not know what to tell you, but if something is not working you have to try something different. I suggest sister you watch your own video and critique it. Anyway regardless of women men ratio, finding a good relationship takes a lot of work. I could go on but I am sure you found someone by now.
I reinvent myself often. When I see myself becoming stagnant it is time for inner soul searching and get myself from stagnant to moving and shaking. If you met me and got to know me I know the picture would be alot clearer of who I am. I am funny as all heck. A natural giver, people oriented and yet private. I do alot for my circle of friends and family and also in my professional life becase I am a deep individual.
Glad to hear it. If all you say is true, be patient. My best relationship happened when I wasn't looking or want it. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and all I did was the things you just said. Be patient. It may not come when you want it, but it will be right on time. Peace and Love to ya!!!
Also, what circles do you frequent? Do they correspond to your interest? If so, ask yourself why no black male in those circles are within your grasp. Instead of examining outside of yourself (EEOC, status, job, etc..), look inside. What is it about YOU that hasn't brought that bee to the flower? Your words, expressions, characteristics...? Your video seems to say you haven't looked deep inside yourself to see if somnething about you is the problem. Remember you asked for an opinion.
Well you asked for an opinion. You have succeeded in life at your expectations and looking for a mate. Your video is teemed with drops of absolutes of what you want in a relationship. You quickly say you are willing to do some things after saying you will not. Ok. You mention accomplishments. Your goals may not be the other persons. Can you compromise? Can you be his strength where he is weak, and vice versa?
You made me laugh with that dish washing and food cooking comment.
Now for me, I have never been in the "dating game" and I'll be 23 on Saturday, so I cannot help you on the EEOC thing (although I do think there is a problem there). I just get kind of depressed at my options where I live. Most black men I meet are either too old for me or too young (and I mean young in terms of their mentality). I don't want perfection, I just want respect.
And also their capacity to love you is important...if you focus too much on the fincial/success model, you may wind up dealing with a selfish, although successful man who is stuck on himself, as you said, or even problematic in other ways. How does it help a woman to date a successful asshole? If you are a grounded person with a good heart don't you need a man who is similar in that respect? What is most important to you? Their money? Or their love?
I appreciate your feedback. I realize there is a disparity and it's well documented that BW are out earning BM. It's a cold hard fact. I am growing a relationship right now where I am sure there is a financial situation is a disparity but what is not a disparity is a genuine liking of each other. I take that anyday over a BM who is financially stable but a hollow person. The person I'm in conversation with now is a real 'Brotha' and I like him.
freckles2720 - It is so frustrating reading quotes like "it's well documented that BW are out earning BM. It's a cold hard fact."
That is bullshit. Pure bullshit. There is not ONE group of women on this planet who outearn their Men and American BW are NOT the fucking exception to that fact.
According to the Census & DOL, despite having 1.2 million more BW in the work force then BM, MORE BM earned over $40,000 than BW. In fact a BM is 2x more likely to earn over $100,000 than a BW.
freckles2720 - Yeah but thats an awful legacy of racism, Anti-poverty & early affirmative action programs.
But its insane for BW to look down on blue collar BM when statistically he is more likely to out earn you anyway. Even with your college degree(s).
Too many BW are into status. Instead of thinking "In corporate I make 60K, but with OT my Plumber Man brings home 80K & together we can earn $140K - they pass worrying about what their SINGLE girlfriends will think.
Level means alot of things to an individual. Some time ago I would have put you on notice with your comment but today with self discovery and an more of an understanding about what I am and was looking for I have updated this video. So, please check it out - it is entitled UPDATE - I am looking for a Husband. Where are You?
There are black men who are striving but I hate to say this but things will get more frustrating before they get better, the economy is getting worse so I'm afraid the struggling will continue for some time. There will be more people trying to maintain than people climbing the corporate ladder so perhaps you should evaluate your potenetials on different criteria than you have been doing. Don't rule out the guys who aren't at the top, the character & principles & spirit is important too.
You know, I was thinking the same thing about the EEOC the other day. Generally IMO when you are striving to climb the ladder the pickings will be slim. If somebody thinks that doing what they are supposed to be doing entitles them to...have their ass kissed or something yes I agree that is a problem. But if you want someone real aren't the character and spiritual level and other considerations more important? It seems you are focusing on the financial too much. I could be wrong though.
Women in successful relationships are going to point out your faults. Single women are going to identify. My advice is to stop expecting too much, regardless of your achievements. Expect too much from a man and you'll be disappointed. If you're open, you'll be pleasantly surprised by the man that'll approach you. Also, from my experience: skip the "I don't cook, but I like to talk" announcement. Sadly, men tend to phase out our voices after a while, and cooking has its advantages over talking.
and you will stay single am telling you why man will never submite to woman a real good man allway looks for woman who submite to them then they can treat her like a princes you llok like you nag alot thats another thing most of lating and black woman do that alot and we man hate that
boricua796 4 months ago
and you will stay single am telling you why man will never submite to woman a real good man allway looks for woman who submite to them then they can treat her like a princes
boricua796 4 months ago
Would you like to hear the honest truth or a lie? Well the honest truth is that men want a submissive woman. Or at least a deferential woman. That's not you, I know. And honestly, that "not" is what keeps you alone at night. You may now shoot the messenger...
TruthandJustice101 4 months ago
The #1 beneficiary of Affirmative Action is WHITE WOMEN ("women and minorities", rmember?). Black women are selected by white corporate America, only as it serves their white needs.
TruthandJustice101 4 months ago
ok....so what if i told you...i have just about (if not all)..ALL, if the answers ur need.....
SurreallTV 6 months ago
i think you havea good point, i feel mnay black men join the military, not all, but it seems many, i am white, but i observe peopel for fun. the question is identifying activites that are black orienated, i hope it does not sound disrespectfull.
the next question is what is your your cities racial make up,
i also must note that corperations kill 2 birds with one stone, i am brutally honest but i am me. yes it has
MultiBrenda1970 8 months ago
This vid ends up at a place much different than it's title or beginning. Regardless, I hope there is more opportunity now for both women and blacks than when Elizabeth Stanton Cody and Frederick Douglas wrote their essays. Next month I will see the movie, For Colored Girls and perhaps gain some additional perspectives. I'm aware that more kids are being raised by parents in families that don't have the wherewithal to raise kids. I think that has a lot to do with what you may be talking about.
luvsbuffgurls 1 year ago
Try looking in the ranks of the Army. there's plenty of Single brothas here. I used to be one of them
loujencece 1 year ago
If both of you are climbing, or choose to climb they "corporate" ladder, how can the both of you focus on children? Perhaps, you or your future husband will need to climb down off that ladder. Good video.
popolodude 1 year ago
@popolodude - Thanks. Describe 'climb down off that ladder'>
freckles2720 1 year ago
@56Stiffy Hey keep talking like that and I'll track your IP down. Then post to every black person what you wrote and what your home address is and all your personal info. You're uneducated and ignorant. Black American make up less than 12.4% of the US population you dumb fu#k. 75% are Caucasian. There are more Caucasian on welfare than and other race in North America. What's draining the economy are banks siphoning out tax dollars from the economy. Not the people. 56Stiffy you're ignorant.
zazoolious 1 year ago
You seem to be attractive woman with sound mental aptitude. It would be better for you to keep your priniples intact than to lower them and remain unhappy. Don't take it personaly when people speak negative of you on your videos... You are not wrong tospeak the truth!
atomicsteve111 1 year ago
I would also say you seem to place so much dependance on work and "getting ahead" (I'm looking at the way you hold you phone) That is good on one level but If you don't choose to develop the connection with the creator and try to get ahead in that area you will always be confused and feel lost at certain points.
message2blackwomen 1 year ago
You should STOP LOOKING FOR A MAN!! You should focus on God and doing good works in YOUR community CLEANING up YOUR HEALTH and build your happiness. ONLY WHEN women are happy and healthy and NOT DESPARATE!! and have a pure good HEART. Real MEN WILL BE SO ATTRACTED TO YOU and they places you will be helping others THE MEN U run into YOU WILL HAVE YOUR MAN!! Don't FORCE THE ISSUE! DON"T DO THINGS OUT OF FEAR!!
message2blackwomen 1 year ago
take care of ur looks , forget about money and materials.
victory0952 1 year ago
@56Stiffy - your comment is pure trash.
freckles2720 1 year ago
Problem here. You failed in that 7 year relationship. Regardless of what happened, thats just the deal. So since then, you've been building a career. This is a disturbing trend for women and for men. Your ultimate goal is to find love, but you've spend so long building a back up plan.
On another note. I have never come in contact with a black woman, of a bigger build, that has been nice to me. I'm white. I get it. But why do some black women put up such a mean front towards white men?
underlinedbluetext 1 year ago
besides the obvious.
all i'm saying is that even in this vid, you come off too strong. you say that you're down. but i cant help but wonder if you're too picky? or that you're too comfortable in your own surroundings? I don't know.
hows it going now? getting any better?
underlinedbluetext 1 year ago
@underlinedbluetext @underlinedbluetext - if I come off strong to you then I am not the personality needed for your personality. No harm, no foul.
freckles2720 1 year ago
@underlinedbluetext - it was a failure on both of us - not just me nor not just him. It was not since the relationship ended was that the only time in my life I was building my career it has been an ongoing for me. This does not preclude not having nor building a relationship. What do you mean you have not come in contact with a black woman of a bigger build. Do you mean you have been living under a rock? Also, what do you mean black women put a mean front towards white men?
freckles2720 1 year ago
@freckles2720. well, i'm def not a racist, if thats what your thinking. I guess I was just spilling thoughts. That last question is too loaded to even talk about. I shouldn't have said that : x
underlinedbluetext 1 year ago
date a white man they have a history of treating black women really well. look up Saara Bartman
vanexel2 1 year ago
So I am done with my reply to u and wont look at your reply back. because its a waste of time. for real, dont waste your time sending back it wont get read. PEace.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
In other land where my people are at, their are way more afican couples in numbers like u woundnt imagine. So yea the european brianwashed women are made nasty vile and bty design and men are made to be lost, hopeless and weak minded because we are a threat if we have our mind as powerful as our bodies. but we have been beating this and will beat this in the end.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
this was set up by the onesided racist european snowmonkey system in ameriaKKKa ok? Everywhere the europeans go they fuck up shit. Africa, this land usa really natives land, asia india middle east u name it, they fuck it up. truth. back to my point at hand tho. Our true culture of the land of africa before the euros came to fuck with us was better. Not as many problems as there is now there and here in AmeriKKKa. The women have been brainwashed into acting like this over many lifetimes, also men
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
Women have been tricked by feminist to pursue careers rather than a husband. You should look for man that can and is taking care of himself and treats you with respect and love. Rather he has a degree or not is not important. Most BM regardless of education find it hard to get high paying jobs. It's called racism and you must be aware of this problem. Most BM don't excel by design not because they are lazy. Also It seems like you looking for a fairytale romance. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Be real
Wisebrother78 2 years ago
Women tricked to pursue a career rather than a husband? I am well aware of racism especially. I am not seeking a fairytale romance. I expect in my age range a man to be able to do certain unlike if he were some decades younger. Answer me this 'Wisebrother78' how would you feel if your partner said to you he/she isnt able to take you to lunch' ( been 2gether 4 mths)? A Ruby Tuesday's lunch for 2 would cost $25.00 but the money was spent on smokes. How would you feel?
freckles2720 2 years ago
@freckles2720, well I would think the person is more interested in smoking than eating. So now it would be up to you or whoever to decide rather you want to keep the relationship going. It's just that simple. Sounds like this guy is immature, I would ask where are you meeting these cats who can't buy burgers..lol
Wisebrother78 2 years ago
I am going to comment with your statement 'this guy is immature'. It is what I call trapped with the past and allowing oneself to wallow and preventing oneself to raise up. I agree not being able to 'buy a burger(s) is not the right approach to express to one's partner. I did appreciate his honesty. After the honesty he expressed I felt 'come on' not again freckles2720'. Not another one and it was with that and other values that it was better left as not being in or pursuing a future.
freckles2720 2 years ago
brothas have been set up mentally by this racist nation to think like this. We have to break this brainwashed cycle. My dad is from west africa and he has all the things u seem like u want. He is the example of the true
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
I agree with breaking the brainwashed cycle. It seems lots of us sistas are in relationships with the brothas but I had enough. So tell me wakeupworld100 how do you feel in particular brothas get passed this cycle?
freckles2720 2 years ago
EXPOSURE. they need to talk to brothas that are aware of this like. and that lead by example. and also know that they are a threat in the minds of the "MEN ON THE MONEY" who stole this land. they need to stop thinking how the european man has trained our people to think and is the reason for are people being stripped of our natural concepts and stong minds we have by nature. also showing this info to all of our people. on youtube. check out my friend WISENUBIAN on my freind list. He my elder.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
also we have to tell the youth this like NOW. and not let these europeans steal our children and again brainwash aka brainraped them and make them how alot of grown people with child minds is today. I was stuck before but am awoke now. So we have to show this in they face and teach the youth this. they our future 4 real yo.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
@freckles2720 If you are not working for the good of YOURSELF YOUR FAMILY & YOUCOMMUNITY then that irritation of not feeling complete will nag you and anyone that gets with you will disapoint you at some point!
message2blackwomen 1 year ago
form of what a african man is born to act like. African men have land upon land, in the mother land. business tactics and street smarts. europeans dont want men here to have power because they are scared of us. they know we can out do them. Go get a man that is in touch with his true culture. Nubian in tune with himself.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
AHHHHH THank you fotr the truth. wow. Some people dont overstand this. but I got something in mind.
wakeupworld100 2 years ago
I would say confidently its easier for a woman than a man to find someone. Traditionally its allways been the man doing the asking whilst the woman just bides her time and waits, but its also about chosing wisely but your time will come, all good things come to those who wait.
chigaloo2 2 years ago
Ah, one would think that but who really knows. It depends alot on our age range, social needs, enviornment, etc... I am in love with someone but the time is just not right. So, here I go again in search for this 'elusive husband'.
freckles2720 2 years ago
the rule is stop looking
chisoorah 2 years ago
You're right.
freckles2720 2 years ago
I would be more than happy to marry you Ms. poster, but my ex wife didnt leave anything for us to live on. OH WAIT, she did leave one ink pen, but thats just for writing her alimony checks. At least I have her lawyer paid off now. Wouldn't it just be easier for you to adopt me? If you can make creamed chipped beef over homemade biscuits, with REAL lemonade, I'll follow you anywhere! Love ya, sista;.... and good luck! Hope marriage treats you better than it treated me. : - (
THEAIREDALER 2 years ago
You crack me up! Should I adopt you but arent you a 'little' old for me to adopt?
freckles2720 2 years ago
LOL, I'm probably too old for social security! The 50's aren't fab! Y'know, they say your biggest 10 year physical decline happens in your 50's. I'll attest to that, cause God, something hurts EVERY day! Rhumatiz and ole Arthur I reckon. Since I have no partner either, I must try to teach my dog to do a massage. Still adoptable however. IF I ever get married again, I think I may look to the motherland. A Ghana lovely who can fry a muscrat. PS - Natural hair says volumes 'bout ya! : - )
THEAIREDALER 2 years ago
Muscrat! Holy SH*T! OMG! A Ghanal lovely - they should be easy to find. Try looking in your email at those bogus propositions. Just be careful.
What do you mean by your sentence 'Natural hair says volumes 'bout ya!'?
freckles2720 2 years ago
In the past it wasn't as big an issue, but women who strive to attain beauty based on Euro standards may not have a healthy attitude about their beauty or race. At least often times. I have found in my experience that women who wear a more afro-centric or natural style tend to be better read, more culturally aware, politically astute and proud of their heritage. Naw, email has proven to be unreliable. My goal is to visit Ghana, Ivory Coast and hopefully Kenya, but for cultural reasons 1st.
THEAIREDALER 2 years ago
Good for you and I hope you find your special person there in West Africa. Will she have to be natural?
freckles2720 2 years ago
Be it African or American, I won't entertain the thought of dyed blond hair, blue contacts, tattoos etc..; but permed or pressed are too popular to eliminate from contention. But I prefer natural. My buddy Mike (STONE hillbilly from the NC mountains) advises me not to marry ANY woman who can't skin and dress out a deer and clean catfish. I don't eat either so, hmm? However this summer I plan to do my first pig roast on a spit. Might even kill him myself. (or get killed trying)
THEAIREDALER 2 years ago
I'm a Black Man and Good one. I work for the Federal Government and I can tell you that EEOC work against Black Males. This is no joke. White Males get promoted just because they are white. If you are uncle tom you will get a break.. so sad..
cocosolo03 2 years ago
Sadly it IS your focus on black men. I'm not telling you to date outside your race or anything. The heart wants what it wants, and you can't help who you are attracted to or what you have in common with someone. But it's a numbers game.
It seems like you want a man at your level education and occupational wise. That makes it even harder. There are only so many educated, professional black men out there, that you will come into contact with, and who are willing to give you a shot.
Frogger1995 2 years ago
Sorry, for the delay with my response. You are correct. I have exclusively dated within my race and have narrowed down the field considerably. I did find someone but it ended not because of his race but because of influences that needed to be put first. I am going to open myself to other races. I've tried staying within my race but after all these years and failed attemptes...
freckles2720 2 years ago
This is the problem with black women. They only are looking for black men and the black men don't want them. We need to be more like Asian women and date outside of our race more. So many black women are sitting at home waiting for a black man who is not coming. Open your horizons. Men are men. Get over the race thing. Just find a man (no matter his race) who wants to be with you.
write2ap 2 years ago
I could not agree with you about being open to date outside one's race. I was open to it but my preference was my own race.
freckles2720 2 years ago
Yes You are doing something wrong, You think that the perfect man must be on the same material level as you. With the war that is on our people mainly against our brothers, the white devil is using your status of success or failure to keep you separate from your MAN Sista.
ZAPN2BEU 2 years ago
Your statement is so way out of line - I do not know where to begin but to write I am in a war just as the next person. The difference I refuse to let the war hinder me and that is a similar value I seek. What's wrong with that?
freckles2720 2 years ago
You're fine girl!! and I've heard of many women that are in your situation but i know for a fact that as women, we're not supposed to search for a man. They are supposed to come to us. So you may have to open your eyes to other nationalities. Be a friend with a non-african american man to get a feel of how they are (if you havent already) and get rid of that limitation. You just might be holding yourself back.
Skoopalicious 2 years ago
It is not your fault.
Black men do not want to get married. Marriage means responsibility.
hermanglimsher 2 years ago
Isnt it sad you put it that black men don't want to get married because of the responsibility.
freckles2720 2 years ago
Why did you date a man for 7 years without getting married?
norcalnupe 2 years ago
My heart was into that man that I overlooked my own mental well being. We both wanted similar things and had similar vaules but when one partner suffers with depression and I was doing the best I could well - the year just went by. Never ever again will I not listen to my inner voice.
freckles2720 2 years ago
Men have time to waste because we can get our money right until we are 40 and date younger women. Women are built differently and you have a time clock. Im a 36 year old Morehouse Man and I know a good woman when I see one. It doesnt take me seven years to figure it out. One year will do.
norcalnupe 2 years ago
Yeah, you right about the seven years when one will do.
freckles2720 2 years ago
@freckles2720 Black women make the same mistakes over and over and over again. regardless of what's going on with black men, you have to focus on getting married at an early age. black women absolutely waste their 20s dating men for years of just having fun. a black woman should NEVER date a man for 7 years after the age of 25. In all honestly, after 21 a black woman needs to be focused, focused, focused on getting married. You can't sow your oats like men.
norcalnupe 2 years ago
@freckles2720 You asked "am I doing something wrong?" the answer is yes. You did something wrong 7 years ago. Think about all the men you could have dated in that time. Think about all the good men you could have gone out with and allowed to court you. If you give some lame dude a decade of your life it's over. I'm not trying to be hard on you but I see it all the time. The fact of the matter is that sistas give a smooth decade of their life away to worthless men and then want to get married
norcalnupe 2 years ago
@freckles2720 after 30.
norcalnupe 2 years ago
I think you have a high taste for a Mr right,,you are a beautiful lady,if you are still searching,there is a broblem somewhere?,it might be an attitude problem?,wnen last did you check? marriage is a sensitive issue for Black brothers ,concentrate on your attitude towards men,losen up a little,and donot overexpect a perfect gentileman,these days a perfect gentleman is no different from us
TheBflyte 2 years ago
Attitude no. I am fiercely funny. Good person, giving, not a diva nor clothes horse. I like to take care of my home and my garden and my mind. I am not looking for perfection just someone with similar values. Simple - right?
freckles2720 2 years ago
I saw some talking head on CNN say that zero tolerance polices get young black men kicked out of school then 3 strikes laws, and a negative racial bias in the the justice system gets them slammed right into jail.
leggytv 2 years ago
i feel u on that
Imurge 2 years ago
sum 1 should open a new site for single youtubers .
khalid6591 2 years ago
Find a man who you can relate to...no matter what race he is.
buttercomplex 2 years ago
Yes, it's the EEOC.
HARVESTDAY 2 years ago
I think you're right in that aspect about black men moving up and there are black men I hear about in the corp world that can verify that. Black men these days are blue collar or own their own businesses and of course you know where the rest of them are. Us as men, I've told a lady friend or two we ahd a desire to marry early in our live but the women, some weren't interested because they wanted to better themselves and when they get older now, they can't find a man. Interesting concept ain't it
cjjaxxon 2 years ago
It is an interesting concept. Whatever happened to that woman?
freckles2720 2 years ago
Those women are still whining about "I cain't find no good black men". It's because of what I said. Y'all wanted to be independent, get going in careers what have you and the men wanted to marry you THEN. Now you're whatever age and so are WE. Now YOU'RE interested in marriage and now WE'RE not. Those men either married some other women black or otherwise or like me, not interested in marriage AT ALL. Do ya get it now?
cjjaxxon 2 years ago
In a word...well a phrase: Home Depot! And they're handy!
heyjai9 2 years ago
What?
freckles2720 2 years ago
You asked where....try going to Home Depot for their free workshops. There are plenty of available men at ours.
heyjai9 2 years ago
From a black man here in the desert, I so can relate to your story when i was single it was difficult. I am one of the good ones who see and hear your pain. But let me be the first to say the man you desire may come in a totally different package than what you expect. So don't limit yourself because my wife wanted a light skin man and i wanted light skin woman neither got what they wanted as far as the package but everything else once we looked deep was there. You are beautiful, Good luck sis
greatcheese107 2 years ago
To be honest it seems as though BM and BW are like fighter fish these days, they cant occupy the same space at the same time without fighting. I think the destruction of the black family and the black race is here. Soon the black people in America will be direct mulattos.....
vierra01 2 years ago
@vierra01
"I think the destruction of the black family and the black race is here." The 'rut' cannot be destroyed cause the entire tree would fall. What is a mulato? U either are connected to the oldest ppL on the face of Mother Earth or ur not. What race did to OriginaL ppL was devestating. A race is a competition, and the system that created the "race" complex practice racism, which by def. is where one group owns and controls much of the power, wealth, and...
thaGodLoKi7 2 years ago
@vierra01
resources that they can deprive/deny another group of those same priviledges. Black ppL need to overstand that we are currently involved in a game where the odds are against us drastically. MATERIALISM DOES NOT EQUATE TO THE REASON Y U ARE TRULY HERE. KNOWLEDGE OF SELF IS SUPREME. P.e.a.c.e. to Sistah Freckles, i'm 26, and there are definiteLy some good brothaz out here, b.u.t. they may not be in the corporate world. They may have a good 9-5....
thaGodLoKi7 2 years ago
I hear this so much and Im in VA, I would have thought where you are things would be different but I guess not...also I hate to say but with you being of light skin I would have thought you had better luck that I lol
I hate to say it but I think its time as AA women that we stop looking at black men only.....
vierra01 2 years ago
Freckles, I feel your frustration..Im a Single, Saved Sista!.and the brothers aren't in church either at least not at mines..lol...I think you said a key thing though...where are you lookin?...maybe that's the issue. God is still preparing you and ME. Maybe there are some things you need to work on within yourself before God blesses you with a mate..I kno I got some issues that God is still working on me with..and until I take some real self inventory on ME, I feel then God will line it up!
watchfuleye2008 2 years ago
She lost her job , and everything else about 6 months ago. I will always remember that day, when I got that IM. Hey can you land me 500$. I've never been the sefish, gredy ,or angry type of brother . If it wasn't for my girl that said give it to her I probably would of never did. I know it might of been the wrong thing to do because I knew that's not who I was . Believe she not the only example during my 15 months jouney while I waorking working three jobs.
Furionwarrior22 2 years ago
I feel for you sis,but a lot of black women screw things up for the good ones like your self. Believe me I was probably the type of brother that would never date another race until about three years ago. After I got out of the Army, I lost my car, a drunk driver almost killed. The so called Educated ,independent sister that was working for a none profit organization didn't want to date me anymore because I lost
everything. Now three years later the roles are reverse.
Furionwarrior22 2 years ago
black women were raised without a father, but guess what when it comes to black women for some reason in kentucky where i live, they are not that many educated black woman and when you find she is either seeing a white boy or spanish boy,
kentucky1804 2 years ago
Sis, this is the CORE of what most Black Men should be talking about. And point is this-Black Women have been hired and trained, to kill BlackMen. I'm going to qualify that for you. What I never got, was denied by a BLACK WOMAN-NOT A WHITE MAN. You want to know why? Because I was NOT a hoodrat; because I was NOT a thug. Because I WAS educated; I was more capable that a BLACK WOMAN has been taught a BLACK MAN is. She has been taught that Black men are, and should stay, nothing.
Understand this.
EshuEL 2 years ago
Rick,
I, as a BW who as you intimated 'are collateral damage in this gender war' has not given up on my BM for I know there are lots of BM who do not feel BW are or feel we are collateral damage in this gender war. I respect your decision to be done with BW and good luck with other women of other races.
freckles2720 2 years ago
@freckles2720
con. - and be onSome down-to-earth, conscious, simple complexity type shyt, who knows. B.u.t. like you i have workedHard to gain what i have been able to obtain overall, so i am selective as well. My onlyAdvice to you would be to converse with conscious brothers, cuz otherwise ur risking waisting time with a brain dead person. That was the same advice that i gave to my ex-gal, who i Luv to this day. The best advice i was given in my plight was to stop looking and keep my eyes open.
thaGodLoKi7 2 years ago
@freckles2720
P.e.a.c.e., God Bless, and i know what ur looking for will reveal itself, patience has brought me signs that what i've been waiting for will come in time.
thaGodLoKi7 2 years ago
I'm sorry but I plan on making good money and moving through the corporate ladder and being overall successful, and I honestly can't see myself with someone who works as a mail carrier for UPS even if he is fine as hell and funny. Call it what you what but to me black men aren't willing to go the extra mile 2 live well and better themselves, they aren't enrolling in college or even trade schools and this is really just making me wonder what my future will look like when I am ready to get married
ohsoofierce 2 years ago
reply to ohsoofierce: Gurl it's gonna be difficult. The few brothas you'll find with degrees are either married or self centered. -supply & demand- many will think that they are the best thing since indoor plumbing! but don't give up!!! I'm married to a good one but, trust i met much mess before meeting my husband.
NoireBeaute 2 years ago
even though I am 23, I can see where you are coming from I am currently a grad student, a semester short of my MBA (@ NJIT) and I too like, no love black men, however its hard to find someone with goals I'm not looking to get married or anything but, I want a real relationship, and I want someone to meet me half way and have goals and be a MAN
ohsoofierce 2 years ago
me personally (disclaimer im no expert)...BW should take care of their looks because whether we like it or not appearance matters....get out there and live your life meeting people who share common interests even if it doesnt mean common incomes....be friendly, approachable, and interested with healthy confidence.....like to read? raid bookstores, libraries, book clubs. like to watch movies raid places where there are vids. raid green houses and connect with brothas there.
imsatindoll 2 years ago 4
Right on sista, you know more then you give yourself credit for. Realise that the racist based society that we were raised in CAN NOT afford to empower black men and black women of the same generation, that would begin to heal the Family unit and that is a NoNo Big-Time! So just keep in mind that when you come across a comon character flaws of black men its an encoded social trait designed to disrupt any harmony with his ethnic counterpart. Thus, the ultimate failure abounds, no family.
thirdye43 2 years ago
Dayne, I made an observation about the lack of bros in corporate America. It does not mean I will not or have not date bros from corporate America. By the way, most of the BM I have dated and have had relationships were not in corporate America.
freckles2720 2 years ago
Black women having to fend for themselves and becoming independent of their men has caused anger among Black women, watch my videos-
TEN REASONSBlack Men Wont Date Or Marry Black Women
Oprah and Tyra ignore whats going between us, our children are now killing each other because we refuse to discuss the issues keeping us apart. The crime rate is increasing. There's no successful Black community anywhere in America having a Man in the home as a leader and provider thanks to white racism. SAD
BarackObamaBlackMan 2 years ago 2
Freckles there is a serious gender war going on between BM and Black women, your video really sums up what the problems is. The white man knows white women love BM and he wants to keep his daughters away from that BM swagger, he aint about to help BM improve their swag buy employing them to look even better to white women. CNN and MSNBC series have endorsed BW 'dating out' rather than us getting along within our race, why? Because they've given up on
BM altogether, see?
BarackObamaBlackMan 2 years ago 2
Yes, I have been in offices a long time and count the number of times I have seen black men versus black women. It just frustrates cause I have conversations with some BM who have expressed they want to be able to have a position in an office but feel they would not be considered or hired. Sad.
freckles2720 2 years ago
I worked in a government office and all the Black men were looked upon as suspects. They fire BM for any little thing but let women get away with being drunk on the job and outrageous things. Being loud and clowning is ok for a Black woman on the job but a soon as a BM gets loud they act like he's gonna shoot up the place. Its nothing new, history shows BW often had to take care of BM or have no man at all, thats why so many BW have sons who stay at home long after adulthood, society's rejects.
BarackObamaBlackMan 2 years ago
I don't know if I totally agree with you on this.
freckles2720 2 years ago
The WALL of SILENCE!!
Hehehehehe
hastious 2 years ago
No idea what you mean.
freckles2720 2 years ago
This is a good video hastious,
thanks
BarackObamaBlackMan 2 years ago
hey Freckles why not a trashman who makes 50k a year?
AnotherTiredBlackMan 2 years ago
No problem. As long as he is decent human being and has a plan.
freckles2720 2 years ago
ok.
AnotherTiredBlackMan 2 years ago
yeah sad aint it Freckles?
AnotherTiredBlackMan 2 years ago
Yes, it's sad. It is so painfully obvious that the system does this. I refuse to allow the system to hold me back. I had and will always implement a plan.
freckles2720 2 years ago
part 2:
years back when a black man was working as a bus driver while holding an MBA because of Jim Crowe laws restricting his access to employment, if the women then did what ur suggesting... where would we be?
u see the discrimination... so just because it's not on a law book that he can't get promoted... should u hold that against him?
don't wait on corporate america to acknowledge ur king. U can see him for his beauty without their approval. :)
queenbastet 2 years ago
I have dated the mailroom person, the parking lot attendant, the middle manager, the construction work, and some others in various fields. The mailroom person is no longer in the mailroom he has moved up in his chosen career such as the others I have listed. They are not complacent. Neither am I. I make no apologies for wanting someone who holds a value similiar to mine.
freckles2720 2 years ago
but when u say "someone who holds a value similar" to yours what do u mean?
queenbastet 2 years ago
Value system meaning someone who seeks growth and not remain stuck.
freckles2720 2 years ago
growth in what respect... b/c the growth u fixated on in the video was promotion and growth within corporate america... i didnt hear u complaining about lack of spiritual growth or growth in knowledge.
queenbastet 2 years ago 2
Knowing who you are, creating goals but not just creating goals being realistic with them and putting them into action. I encompass goals/growth with spirtuality/knowledge. Let me ask you queenbaset, where do you stand on the issue of meeting a mate. What do you look for?
freckles2720 2 years ago
I put more credence on the following:
that he offers emotional support,
that he is strong and determined to work with me to support our family,
common spiritual beliefs , romantic and caring.
Beyond that the rest is "lagniappe" as we say in louisiana. These 4 things are the foundation a man MUST have before I will consider him.
The remaining things that I "like" are not "necessities." so i wouldnt disregard a man if he doesn't have all or even most of them.
queenbastet 2 years ago
Neither would I disregard what you have mentioned. I'm glad it works for you.
freckles2720 2 years ago
I wish u the best. I guess the difference is that Im willing to consider someone based on how much I value one of the items on my list over others.
I guess for u, all the things u like in a man are necessary.
can't say either who is right or wrong.
I do wish u the best in love and life. :)
queenbastet 2 years ago 2
Thank you.
freckles2720 2 years ago
Listen to what Queenbastet said. She knows much more than she should for her age...
EV
Evens1 2 years ago
And with all that it don't matter his social standing as long as he's got a job, I like it in you. Remember though, you gotta give back. God Bless! Oh by the way, you don't sound too demanding unlike some other black women and women in general. That's a good thing.
cjjaxxon 2 years ago
Part 1:
I have to ask you what is more important: the title at his job OR the education in his mind??? If a man can hold the conversation that you crave and give the affection that you need...
does it really matter whether or not corporate america gives him a title of "manager" or "director"?
It's kind of like ur waiting for "corporate america" to approve ur future mate before u select him.
queenbastet 2 years ago
Thanks for your comment. Holding a conversation is just part of what as you put it I crave. I also as I said at my age there are certain expectations one would have versus when they are younger just like I expect the to change as I grow older. No, I am not waiting for the 'corporate America' person. I am waiting for the person who is about moving and improving. I am not looking for complacency.
freckles2720 2 years ago
My dear Freckles, it's white male insecurity and hatred of Black males that
affects Black males and it's impact is so bad that it has many Black women hating Black men as well, blaming thier men for what white men are doing which causes BM to resent BW thus avoiding them.
Also BW don't expect their sons to do much seeing the obstacles BM face. Many BW won't even hug and nurture their own sons, but will tell their daughters 'you go gurl'. BW r looking down on BM and up to white men, BM are mad.
BarackObamaBlackMan 2 years ago
Seems the men you want in your life are either taken , gay , dead or "dead inside".
OverOrdinary1010 2 years ago
"There's nothing "wrong" with you! You will just have to WAIT like the rest of us frustrated and educated Black People! Aint it cool?"
winnslaw 3 years ago
marriage is died in America
theabomation 3 years ago
so has english, and many other important things really....
OverOrdinary1010 2 years ago
OMG, Ms. Freckles, you are my twin!raising my hands in the air. I am in the same boat. I have been on my face in prayer about this for so long that i quick asking. I DONT understand. I have talked to the guy friends that i do know and they tell me that i am intimidating... I look at them w/ a ? on my face. To ThisCoolKidx, God is first, trust me, he is.. and im still single. I wish i knew the answer to your question Ms. Freckles, when i find it, you will be the first to know, many blessings.
micaiahty 3 years ago
hmm maybe it could be the men you run into...sometimes it could be personal additude or giving too much to a man...i cant really call it.
i have found that the less you pay attention to that sort of thing...people just seem to pop up. worth a try.
nylonsweet 3 years ago
if you dont mind me asking are you FULL black or mixed race?
dlfunky 3 years ago
Mixed. Why?
freckles2720 3 years ago
I just wondered. If you are THAT desperate you should widen your options to other races perhaps?
dlfunky 3 years ago
Thanks for your taking the time to view my video and comment. I am not as you put it 'THAT' desperate and have no opposition to other races. What about you do you date or are married to someone outside of your marriage?
freckles2720 3 years ago
hello, thank you for replying if my comment came across as rude that was not my intention. Curently I am single but I would have no problem dating outside of my race if that is what you meant.
dlfunky 3 years ago
Mixed race? That's nonsense. 90% of African Americans are so-called mixed. So are Puerto Ricans, Mexican Americans, Middle Easterns and believe it or not European Americans. Check your history my friend and stop trying to manipulate African Americans.
moonstar7 3 years ago
I hear ya! Here are a few tips: do as you are doing: be natural and who you are...Many upwardly mobile black men are usually in "business". I suggest you start a business; go to entrepreneurship seminars, join business type organizations. Find your passion and turn it into a business and meet other entrepreneurs. I come from a family with a real estate background. There are many men in this field. Many upwardly expiring black men usually turn to entrepreneurship. This is my take.
simplyberry 3 years ago
Put God first, man second. Love you. If the man is not a Godly man, it wont work, i promise you. God Bless, from a Brother...
ThisCoolKidx 3 years ago
I hear ya, but u seem frustrated bout this, which I can understand. I mean, I don't know but I wish I could say that it is just a few black women, but where I work there is like one black women I know that is married 2 a black man, everyone else is single or shacking up with black men. Interesting enough, now that I am older, younger men seem interested but I am very cautious about that, more so. Good Luck 2 u, I mean that.
Giagirl4 3 years ago
No sense going to church, blk men don't typically go to church. Good guys are all around, perhaps for some reason you just don't notice them if they don't fit a certain image you may have.
AnorexicBob 3 years ago
Don't limit yourself to black men.
AnorexicBob 3 years ago
Good luck sister
redman30034 3 years ago
Sister, I do not know what to tell you, but if something is not working you have to try something different. I suggest sister you watch your own video and critique it. Anyway regardless of women men ratio, finding a good relationship takes a lot of work. I could go on but I am sure you found someone by now.
redman30034 3 years ago
I reinvent myself often. When I see myself becoming stagnant it is time for inner soul searching and get myself from stagnant to moving and shaking. If you met me and got to know me I know the picture would be alot clearer of who I am. I am funny as all heck. A natural giver, people oriented and yet private. I do alot for my circle of friends and family and also in my professional life becase I am a deep individual.
freckles2720 3 years ago
Glad to hear it. If all you say is true, be patient. My best relationship happened when I wasn't looking or want it. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and all I did was the things you just said. Be patient. It may not come when you want it, but it will be right on time. Peace and Love to ya!!!
Simbul 3 years ago
Also, what circles do you frequent? Do they correspond to your interest? If so, ask yourself why no black male in those circles are within your grasp. Instead of examining outside of yourself (EEOC, status, job, etc..), look inside. What is it about YOU that hasn't brought that bee to the flower? Your words, expressions, characteristics...? Your video seems to say you haven't looked deep inside yourself to see if somnething about you is the problem. Remember you asked for an opinion.
Simbul 3 years ago
Well you asked for an opinion. You have succeeded in life at your expectations and looking for a mate. Your video is teemed with drops of absolutes of what you want in a relationship. You quickly say you are willing to do some things after saying you will not. Ok. You mention accomplishments. Your goals may not be the other persons. Can you compromise? Can you be his strength where he is weak, and vice versa?
Simbul 3 years ago
Yes, I can compromise. I have done that many times in my relationships.
freckles2720 3 years ago
You made me laugh with that dish washing and food cooking comment.
Now for me, I have never been in the "dating game" and I'll be 23 on Saturday, so I cannot help you on the EEOC thing (although I do think there is a problem there). I just get kind of depressed at my options where I live. Most black men I meet are either too old for me or too young (and I mean young in terms of their mentality). I don't want perfection, I just want respect.
....and also, Black men are gorgeous indeed.
rockruffnstuff 3 years ago
And also their capacity to love you is important...if you focus too much on the fincial/success model, you may wind up dealing with a selfish, although successful man who is stuck on himself, as you said, or even problematic in other ways. How does it help a woman to date a successful asshole? If you are a grounded person with a good heart don't you need a man who is similar in that respect? What is most important to you? Their money? Or their love?
dealmaker007 3 years ago 4
I appreciate your feedback. I realize there is a disparity and it's well documented that BW are out earning BM. It's a cold hard fact. I am growing a relationship right now where I am sure there is a financial situation is a disparity but what is not a disparity is a genuine liking of each other. I take that anyday over a BM who is financially stable but a hollow person. The person I'm in conversation with now is a real 'Brotha' and I like him.
freckles2720 3 years ago
Well then it sounds like you have in the making the beginnings of a solution there. I am happy for you.
dealmaker007 3 years ago
freckles2720 - It is so frustrating reading quotes like "it's well documented that BW are out earning BM. It's a cold hard fact."
That is bullshit. Pure bullshit. There is not ONE group of women on this planet who outearn their Men and American BW are NOT the fucking exception to that fact.
According to the Census & DOL, despite having 1.2 million more BW in the work force then BM, MORE BM earned over $40,000 than BW. In fact a BM is 2x more likely to earn over $100,000 than a BW.
kamochej 3 years ago
I hear you on the Census & DOL fact but you see more BW in the work force to what I feel is the EEOC standard.
freckles2720 3 years ago
freckles2720 - Yeah but thats an awful legacy of racism, Anti-poverty & early affirmative action programs.
But its insane for BW to look down on blue collar BM when statistically he is more likely to out earn you anyway. Even with your college degree(s).
Too many BW are into status. Instead of thinking "In corporate I make 60K, but with OT my Plumber Man brings home 80K & together we can earn $140K - they pass worrying about what their SINGLE girlfriends will think.
That's crazy.
kamochej 3 years ago
Freckles wrote
" The person I'm in conversation with now is a real 'Brotha' and I like him."
BRAVO!! It's been six months since you wrote that. How are things going?
IF you want info on HOW to find a GBM you can reply and I will tell you how to do it in "detail".
EV
Evens1 2 years ago
I did not feel chemistry with him.
freckles2720 2 years ago
So,, you're looking for a man based on his "LEVEL" , as you call it, in society?.. You can't see what you're doing wrong?
GENE888 2 years ago
Level means alot of things to an individual. Some time ago I would have put you on notice with your comment but today with self discovery and an more of an understanding about what I am and was looking for I have updated this video. So, please check it out - it is entitled UPDATE - I am looking for a Husband. Where are You?
freckles2720 2 years ago
There are black men who are striving but I hate to say this but things will get more frustrating before they get better, the economy is getting worse so I'm afraid the struggling will continue for some time. There will be more people trying to maintain than people climbing the corporate ladder so perhaps you should evaluate your potenetials on different criteria than you have been doing. Don't rule out the guys who aren't at the top, the character & principles & spirit is important too.
dealmaker007 3 years ago
You know, I was thinking the same thing about the EEOC the other day. Generally IMO when you are striving to climb the ladder the pickings will be slim. If somebody thinks that doing what they are supposed to be doing entitles them to...have their ass kissed or something yes I agree that is a problem. But if you want someone real aren't the character and spiritual level and other considerations more important? It seems you are focusing on the financial too much. I could be wrong though.
dealmaker007 3 years ago
Money doesnt manner
Degrees do not mater
What you do for work does not matter
What you do and can bring to the relationship matters, and how you treat a man, and if you are more feminine then feminist
BW know how it works against black men, but will still come out the side of their neck to criticize them, then expect them to merry one of them up
Being with a woman that does not respect you because of their lack of material means or status, aint in our game plan, sorry, its not working
GenLaughingMan 3 years ago
You are truly a wonderful sister and I pray that you will find what it is that you are looking for.
Peace & Blessings
Kadeem2Islam 3 years ago
Women in successful relationships are going to point out your faults. Single women are going to identify. My advice is to stop expecting too much, regardless of your achievements. Expect too much from a man and you'll be disappointed. If you're open, you'll be pleasantly surprised by the man that'll approach you. Also, from my experience: skip the "I don't cook, but I like to talk" announcement. Sadly, men tend to phase out our voices after a while, and cooking has its advantages over talking.
iloveitblog 3 years ago
Thanks for the comment. I want to be real the mean I meet. I'm not cooking does not mean I will not cook.
freckles2720 3 years ago
BTW, you have to keep in mind that there are A LOT of black men who are wondering the SAME THING with respect to their prospects with black women.
Good luck though, freckles.
marcdaddy33 3 years ago 2