as always, your thoughts amaze me. I completely agree with you. I mean, for me, saying the things I feel to people i love is almost impossible as if there is this wall in between my brain and my mouth, but I start writing and everything pours out. I feel free to express my most inner parts to the world, and yet I can't bring myself to do it face to face with someone I know. Often I wish I could break down that barrier, but I think I'm too afraid of getting judged by those around me.
I think it's because we are afraid of the reaction/attention we will get from the people we love. Whether that reaction is negative or not, it can be embarrassing. If we show people we don't know and love on a personal level, we don't value their reactions and thoughts on it as much.
I think it's because we value our friends' and acquaintances' opinions of us. It's hard to take the risk of friends disliking what you made/wrote and have them lower their opinion of you. We're protected by our anonymity. Also, you will see your irl friends again and have to look them in the eyes. But if you so chose, you could vanish from youtube forever, tomorrow, and never have to face any of us again. The virtual nature of this gives you an easy escape if you say something you regret.
girls go to the grocery store without makeup? gasp. I didn't think most of us had it in us.
totally sarcastic btw..
most people are okay with putting stuff up on the internet because it's such a weird form of socialism. you know people are seeing it, but you don't know those people, and are most likely never going to see them, so why not get a straight up opinion out of them if you have the chance?
Maybe it's because if people we don't know don't like us, we feel no obligation to care about their opinion. But if it's our friends, what they think about us has more of an impact.
I am definitely the person who doesn't let anyone read her writing but is very eager to publish it. I think it's because my writing is in draft mode, and I want people to read it once it's done and can't be changed...then they can't really critique me on it. Once it's done they have to accept it for what it is. In general though, I'm just more comfortable with strangers reading my writing. They don't have the ability to attach preconceived notions about who I am to the story I'm telling.
This makes me wonder, if we had a better understanding of God's love for us and felt the completeness of its sufficiency(and really believed it all the time), how different content creation might be. Why are we afraid?
@ThisIsJefficus Word. Sounds like a Stepping Heavenward quote - "If we could only begin to conceive how He loves us, what different creatures we should be!"
@eversinceimmortal noo not at all! ;-) it's just this little gem I preordered...someone off YouTube wrote it, so obviously they're not a big deal or anything. How else would I have a signed copy? =p
I loved TFiOS so much. I'm letting it simmer in my mind before I discuss it in a video or something. I still have ideas in my head from Looking For Alaska that I haven't brought into reality yet.
And I will! I love reading something that I know I'll be able to discuss afterward.
I'm like this too. I'm really thankful that I've found someone who feel like I can tell anything to. Or at least I'm not afraid to show my feelings to. I don't really know why I feel so honest with her, I just do... This is out of context I guess, but I need somewhere I can say this stuff to, other than to her... and the unfortunate thing about the way I am is that I don't spill my heart to anyone, just her (and the internet) so I can't tell anyone honestly what I feel, other than her (and God).
@soldeglo Yes it's great! "The cracks in the vessel" let the light in and you start to see the real person when you can open up. I've never really had that before, but it is a great feeling.
I lie (or, ahem, 'withhold the truth') to my family waaaay more than I do with other people who I have little or no connection with. I think it's easier because people who don't know you don't have any preconceived ideas about who your are. With friends and family, they already think they know exactly who they're dealing with, and it's easier to just let them believe that instead of breaking out of their expectations. That's how it is for me, at least.
This is why I posed the questions from your QA video; I genuinely wanted to see what you'd craft from them.
To reply to this vid: By the same token, you unavoidably attract a solid following of like/similar minded persons. So by speaking here or on Twitter, are any of us truly alien to you, or vice verse? You're here sharing introspective and positive ideas. But as we read these posts we're supportive of you by returning the same.
Personally, I think it is because people (as a majority) would rather be judged by an anonymous person,than one he or she knows. I also wear my heart on my sleeve, but there is a huge difference between being judged by others and accepted. I think with being judged by anonymous, there are no per-determined feelings or former judgements. Where with the ones you know, the opinion they already have of you could be changed, better or worse. Maybe I'm over-explaining it...
I think part of it is that the people that we are closest to and who we love are the ones who can hurt us the most. If those people don't like or approve of what you say/write it can be a really discouraging thing.
i think it's because people we've never met won't judge us on anything but what we show them. Friends and acquaintances will always be biased towards you from some past event or memory. When I'm upset, I find it easiest to pour my thoughts onto someone I know I won't see or interact with very often or even at all after that.
I kind of think that that's that we do that thing we do 'cause we are still kind of afraid that they won't like us in some way. I'm writing stories for almost 6 years now. and still so afraid to show them to anyone. I don't want to do that & I kind of know why: I'm putting my heart & soul and deepest desires in to a story and I think that I'm afraid that people will recognize something from the real world. Or emotions that I felt while writing it.. I think that it's that. So my thought exactly!
everything is easier when you are anonymous. even as a name on the internet you remain, for the most part anonymous. it is easier to tell something to those you may never see again or those who "don't matter" than those you know will see you again and you fear may judge you for it. we feel that we need to keep those people liking us, and some of what we think should be held back, but if you hold back too much, how do you know they like you and not just a facade?
It's similar with me- when I feel down I'll vent on tumblr, but I just can't speak if someone asks if I'm ok at school or something. It's the same with a lot of things. I guess there's the knowledge that people at school will judge me, and I'll have to face them every day for a very long time.
I hate it when someone listens to my songs when I can hear them too. It's so confronting that it makes me insecure! Same thing about my vlogs or anything else I made or wrote down. I know exactly what you're talking about :)
Not so long ago I wrote a poem and I said to my friend she had to read it, but I told her I just found it on the internet. Only after she gave me her opinion on it I told her it was written by me. The reason why I did that was because I wanted her to be objective and I was scared she might not liked it. That would hurt more than a stranger not liking it.
When I share things like you do with people I don't know, they listen to what was said, and not what they think about me.
Also those closest to me can cut me the deepest with their disapproval, for me anyway.
If I really want to know if my work is good, I want to test it on people that don't love me and everything about me and everything I do, because they would tell me everything is great when I need to put more into it.
Oh, man, that is exactly why I stopped making videos, even though I tell other ppl that it takes too long to edit. lol. lame, i know.
The people you care about are basically your world that you have to face. Even though the world is far more than that small group of friends you have, that doesn't matter to you, because you don't have to face the rest of 7 million people. You just gotta worry about that 50 people. I don't mean YOU, melinda. Just ppl. but than again, God trusts you with those 50.
If you 'pour your heart out' to the internet, you might get a reaction of (impersonal) satisfaction. If pour it out to a person, your fear is that you might get *personal* dissatisfaction- and that's a bigger loss than otherwise. I think it's this factor of personalization that scares us. It's what sometimes make us feel like it's not worth it to put things out to people who might not appreciate it at the same level as friends; but who could never be as disappointed as them, either.
I think it has more to do with anonymity. The Internet and public spaces are safe voids where you can (or could) believe no one knows you. You can be yourself with no fear of repercussion or rejection from people who matter to you.
with the three reasons why you said in the video it seems like you are puttin yourself out here on the youtubes to get in touch with someone. but i personally believe its easier to say what you want to say on the internet more so than in person or on the phone, mainly because you dont have confrontational interface with said person/people that is directly in front of you.
Probably a combination of those and other reasons. When I put a video up on YouTube, I realize that people are going to watch it, but I'm not actually seeing them watch it. I think that kind of explains why I hate watching my videos with even one other person, but can be okay with 600 people watching them without me.
I was thinking about this recently. I have been wanting to write blogs and really express my opinions but I wanted it to be a blog where no one knows who I am so I can say whatever I really think. When we talk to people we know in person we are often afraid of what they might think of us. But on the internet if someone doesn't like our blog or videos they will just stop watching and someone else will like them and start watching and we wont care because we dont know them in a personal way.
Honsetly, I never ever wear makeup because if I started to wear it, I would seem prettier, so then I would seem uglier naturally. It wold be a vicious circle, once you start doing it, you can't stop it.
I get what you're saying and I really dont know myself. I have an online diary and have kept it for 7 years now, but very few people who I know and are close to me 'irl' know about it or even half the thoughts I put in it. Yet I'm fine with others people I dont know reading it.
Sounds like you're comfortable with expressing your self with strangers, but not with close friends and family members. In a way you see us, your viewers as a third party that wont judge you for your thoughts and oppions and give you the support that other people might not give. I could be wrong, but that's how I see it. I geuss it comes down to that a stranger will tell you the whole truth about something.
It's cause you obviously want to maintain your status with your friends cause you would've set a certain bar which you must constantly either increase or maintain. However you wouldn't have the need to do that with people you haven't met because your status with me will remain unknown :)
as always, your thoughts amaze me. I completely agree with you. I mean, for me, saying the things I feel to people i love is almost impossible as if there is this wall in between my brain and my mouth, but I start writing and everything pours out. I feel free to express my most inner parts to the world, and yet I can't bring myself to do it face to face with someone I know. Often I wish I could break down that barrier, but I think I'm too afraid of getting judged by those around me.
SimplicityofThoughts 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos
I think it's because we are afraid of the reaction/attention we will get from the people we love. Whether that reaction is negative or not, it can be embarrassing. If we show people we don't know and love on a personal level, we don't value their reactions and thoughts on it as much.
goldfishtime 1 month ago
I think it's because we value our friends' and acquaintances' opinions of us. It's hard to take the risk of friends disliking what you made/wrote and have them lower their opinion of you. We're protected by our anonymity. Also, you will see your irl friends again and have to look them in the eyes. But if you so chose, you could vanish from youtube forever, tomorrow, and never have to face any of us again. The virtual nature of this gives you an easy escape if you say something you regret.
escibs 1 month ago 2
girls go to the grocery store without makeup? gasp. I didn't think most of us had it in us.
totally sarcastic btw..
most people are okay with putting stuff up on the internet because it's such a weird form of socialism. you know people are seeing it, but you don't know those people, and are most likely never going to see them, so why not get a straight up opinion out of them if you have the chance?
sigsound11lover 1 month ago
@iLove1225 *sigh* Yes, yes yes.
soldeglo 1 month ago
Maybe it's because if people we don't know don't like us, we feel no obligation to care about their opinion. But if it's our friends, what they think about us has more of an impact.
DreamerRealist 1 month ago
@DreamerRealist I think that's definitely a big part of it.
soldeglo 1 month ago
Nice thought. (:
lovestapler 1 month ago
why do girls shave armpits? i mean who ever notices or cares?
robotobor909 1 month ago
@robotobor909 This cracked. Me. Up. Thank you for brightening my day.
soldeglo 1 month ago
I am definitely the person who doesn't let anyone read her writing but is very eager to publish it. I think it's because my writing is in draft mode, and I want people to read it once it's done and can't be changed...then they can't really critique me on it. Once it's done they have to accept it for what it is. In general though, I'm just more comfortable with strangers reading my writing. They don't have the ability to attach preconceived notions about who I am to the story I'm telling.
mametmonster 1 month ago
@mametmonster Exactly! Gah, I'm glad you're the same way.
soldeglo 1 month ago
This makes me wonder, if we had a better understanding of God's love for us and felt the completeness of its sufficiency(and really believed it all the time), how different content creation might be. Why are we afraid?
ThisIsJefficus 1 month ago
@ThisIsJefficus Word. Sounds like a Stepping Heavenward quote - "If we could only begin to conceive how He loves us, what different creatures we should be!"
soldeglo 1 month ago
@soldeglo ooh, i'm not familiar with that! Who is the author?
ThisIsJefficus 1 month ago
@ThisIsJefficus Elizabeth Prentiss. It's mostly for girls. It's a fictional diary of a girl's spiritual growth from 16 to around 60. Great book!
eversinceimmortal 1 month ago
@eversinceimmortal hmm. well I just read a certain *other* novel from the perspective of a 16y/o girl...so i'm already in the right frame of mind!
ThisIsJefficus 1 month ago
@ThisIsJefficus Hahaha. What book would you be referring to? It wouldn't happen to be sweeping the nation, would it?
Let me know what you think of it if you end up reading it. It'd be interesting to have a guy's perspective on it.
eversinceimmortal 1 month ago
@eversinceimmortal noo not at all! ;-) it's just this little gem I preordered...someone off YouTube wrote it, so obviously they're not a big deal or anything. How else would I have a signed copy? =p
I loved TFiOS so much. I'm letting it simmer in my mind before I discuss it in a video or something. I still have ideas in my head from Looking For Alaska that I haven't brought into reality yet.
And I will! I love reading something that I know I'll be able to discuss afterward.
ThisIsJefficus 1 month ago
I think that we feel as if it doesn't matter if random strangers see us doing something weird but if it's someone we know, then everything goes bad.
Voldey 1 month ago
@Voldey Yeah, exactly. *sigh*
soldeglo 1 month ago
I'm like this too. I'm really thankful that I've found someone who feel like I can tell anything to. Or at least I'm not afraid to show my feelings to. I don't really know why I feel so honest with her, I just do... This is out of context I guess, but I need somewhere I can say this stuff to, other than to her... and the unfortunate thing about the way I am is that I don't spill my heart to anyone, just her (and the internet) so I can't tell anyone honestly what I feel, other than her (and God).
DreamfallenOne 1 month ago
@DreamfallenOne That's awesome. :) It's wonderful to have someone like that.
soldeglo 1 month ago
@soldeglo Yes it's great! "The cracks in the vessel" let the light in and you start to see the real person when you can open up. I've never really had that before, but it is a great feeling.
DreamfallenOne 1 month ago
I lie (or, ahem, 'withhold the truth') to my family waaaay more than I do with other people who I have little or no connection with. I think it's easier because people who don't know you don't have any preconceived ideas about who your are. With friends and family, they already think they know exactly who they're dealing with, and it's easier to just let them believe that instead of breaking out of their expectations. That's how it is for me, at least.
KillJoy521 1 month ago
@KillJoy521 I agree with you. I feel the same way.
DreamfallenOne 1 month ago
@KillJoy521 Yes, I know exactly what you mean!
soldeglo 1 month ago
This is why I posed the questions from your QA video; I genuinely wanted to see what you'd craft from them.
To reply to this vid: By the same token, you unavoidably attract a solid following of like/similar minded persons. So by speaking here or on Twitter, are any of us truly alien to you, or vice verse? You're here sharing introspective and positive ideas. But as we read these posts we're supportive of you by returning the same.
Xol1004 1 month ago
@Xol1004 Hmm, yes, that makes a lot of sense. :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
your best vlog yet.
KierstyPaige 1 month ago
@KierstyPaige Aw, thank you.
soldeglo 1 month ago
Personally, I think it is because people (as a majority) would rather be judged by an anonymous person,than one he or she knows. I also wear my heart on my sleeve, but there is a huge difference between being judged by others and accepted. I think with being judged by anonymous, there are no per-determined feelings or former judgements. Where with the ones you know, the opinion they already have of you could be changed, better or worse. Maybe I'm over-explaining it...
Geoshi 1 month ago
@Geoshi That makes sense to me!
soldeglo 1 month ago
I think part of it is that the people that we are closest to and who we love are the ones who can hurt us the most. If those people don't like or approve of what you say/write it can be a really discouraging thing.
QtLibby09 1 month ago
@QtLibby09 Ah, yes, that's definitely a big part of it.
soldeglo 1 month ago
i think it's because people we've never met won't judge us on anything but what we show them. Friends and acquaintances will always be biased towards you from some past event or memory. When I'm upset, I find it easiest to pour my thoughts onto someone I know I won't see or interact with very often or even at all after that.
AsianSpazz 1 month ago
@AsianSpazz That does make sense. Thanks. :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
I kind of think that that's that we do that thing we do 'cause we are still kind of afraid that they won't like us in some way. I'm writing stories for almost 6 years now. and still so afraid to show them to anyone. I don't want to do that & I kind of know why: I'm putting my heart & soul and deepest desires in to a story and I think that I'm afraid that people will recognize something from the real world. Or emotions that I felt while writing it.. I think that it's that. So my thought exactly!
killhannaah 1 month ago
@killhannaah Ah, I'm glad I'm not the only one!
soldeglo 1 month ago
everything is easier when you are anonymous. even as a name on the internet you remain, for the most part anonymous. it is easier to tell something to those you may never see again or those who "don't matter" than those you know will see you again and you fear may judge you for it. we feel that we need to keep those people liking us, and some of what we think should be held back, but if you hold back too much, how do you know they like you and not just a facade?
btw, the old vids = good stuff.
sammorrow91 1 month ago
@sammorrow91 Word.
And thank you. :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
It's similar with me- when I feel down I'll vent on tumblr, but I just can't speak if someone asks if I'm ok at school or something. It's the same with a lot of things. I guess there's the knowledge that people at school will judge me, and I'll have to face them every day for a very long time.
QueenOfTheAubergines 1 month ago
@QueenOfTheAubergines I know how you feel!
soldeglo 1 month ago
I hate it when someone listens to my songs when I can hear them too. It's so confronting that it makes me insecure! Same thing about my vlogs or anything else I made or wrote down. I know exactly what you're talking about :)
JulieBrondeel 1 month ago
@JulieBrondeel YES. I know exactly what you mean. :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
@soldeglo ahhh.. great minds think alike.. :)
JulieBrondeel 1 month ago
Also, I was subscribed to you and now I'm not. Whuuut? Oh, I see it. It's another channel *subscribes*
TheDynamiteVoice 1 month ago
@TheDynamiteVoice :) Thank you!
soldeglo 1 month ago
Not so long ago I wrote a poem and I said to my friend she had to read it, but I told her I just found it on the internet. Only after she gave me her opinion on it I told her it was written by me. The reason why I did that was because I wanted her to be objective and I was scared she might not liked it. That would hurt more than a stranger not liking it.
TheDynamiteVoice 1 month ago
@TheDynamiteVoice Ah, yes, I've done something similar to that before, haha. It's nice to be able to get an unbiased reaction.
soldeglo 1 month ago
When I share things like you do with people I don't know, they listen to what was said, and not what they think about me.
Also those closest to me can cut me the deepest with their disapproval, for me anyway.
If I really want to know if my work is good, I want to test it on people that don't love me and everything about me and everything I do, because they would tell me everything is great when I need to put more into it.
I hope you all have a great day!
antiUltimateInfinity 1 month ago 51
@antiUltimateInfinity This sums it up very well, thank you! :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
What a great thought. I wonder why that is. I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE MY VIDEOS, MOM! I want strangers to validate my existence!
Cohenism 1 month ago 3
@Cohenism Haha. You are always a joy.
soldeglo 1 month ago
Oh, man, that is exactly why I stopped making videos, even though I tell other ppl that it takes too long to edit. lol. lame, i know.
The people you care about are basically your world that you have to face. Even though the world is far more than that small group of friends you have, that doesn't matter to you, because you don't have to face the rest of 7 million people. You just gotta worry about that 50 people. I don't mean YOU, melinda. Just ppl. but than again, God trusts you with those 50.
PandasKoalas 1 month ago
@PandasKoalas Exactly. Thank you! :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
If you 'pour your heart out' to the internet, you might get a reaction of (impersonal) satisfaction. If pour it out to a person, your fear is that you might get *personal* dissatisfaction- and that's a bigger loss than otherwise. I think it's this factor of personalization that scares us. It's what sometimes make us feel like it's not worth it to put things out to people who might not appreciate it at the same level as friends; but who could never be as disappointed as them, either.
iSketch4you 1 month ago
@iSketch4you You always know what to say, Duarte. :) Hope today went well for you!
soldeglo 1 month ago
I think it has more to do with anonymity. The Internet and public spaces are safe voids where you can (or could) believe no one knows you. You can be yourself with no fear of repercussion or rejection from people who matter to you.
lildramatic4760 1 month ago
@lildramatic4760 That does make sense!
soldeglo 1 month ago
This reminds me how I absolutely do not like it when other people watch my videos while I'm in the room. Kind of like what Aly said.
neondreamscollide 1 month ago
@neondreamscollide Hahah, YEAH. I hate that.
soldeglo 1 month ago
i know absolutely how you feel
ChokoNerd 1 month ago
@ChokoNerd Glad I'm not alone! :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
I think it's the nature of "art" and the main reason why we like it and why people like making it.
Also, when you do find a person that you can be wholly transparent with, marry them.
thepeteris 1 month ago
@thepeteris That makes sense.
Haha. Solid advice. :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
We are indeed contradictory creatures.
elorfinthendt 1 month ago
Because we are attention-seeking, obsessed with ourselves, and aloof, like rockstars !
WeAllJuggleKnives 1 month ago
We're afraid of ruining the image of ourselves for people who already know us.
At least I see it that way.
GAcube 1 month ago
@GAcube Ah, yes. That does make sense!
soldeglo 1 month ago
with the three reasons why you said in the video it seems like you are puttin yourself out here on the youtubes to get in touch with someone. but i personally believe its easier to say what you want to say on the internet more so than in person or on the phone, mainly because you dont have confrontational interface with said person/people that is directly in front of you.
keyfloater96 1 month ago
your hair... is the red bomb!
WernVern 1 month ago
Probably a combination of those and other reasons. When I put a video up on YouTube, I realize that people are going to watch it, but I'm not actually seeing them watch it. I think that kind of explains why I hate watching my videos with even one other person, but can be okay with 600 people watching them without me.
alyiswriting 1 month ago
@alyiswriting That makes a lot of sense! Thank you. :)
soldeglo 1 month ago
I was thinking about this recently. I have been wanting to write blogs and really express my opinions but I wanted it to be a blog where no one knows who I am so I can say whatever I really think. When we talk to people we know in person we are often afraid of what they might think of us. But on the internet if someone doesn't like our blog or videos they will just stop watching and someone else will like them and start watching and we wont care because we dont know them in a personal way.
Lyverfive 1 month ago
@Lyverfive Gah, yeah, that's definitely part of it.
soldeglo 1 month ago
Well, humans are complicated creatures. You don't know me in person and you never have to face me in real life. That's a good reason.
ARYT13 1 month ago
Your sleeve hearts are very much appreciated.
thefrOgimmortal 1 month ago
Honsetly, I never ever wear makeup because if I started to wear it, I would seem prettier, so then I would seem uglier naturally. It wold be a vicious circle, once you start doing it, you can't stop it.
amongbeyo 1 month ago
I get what you're saying and I really dont know myself. I have an online diary and have kept it for 7 years now, but very few people who I know and are close to me 'irl' know about it or even half the thoughts I put in it. Yet I'm fine with others people I dont know reading it.
suebanna 1 month ago
@suebanna I know how you feel! It's strange.
soldeglo 1 month ago
Sounds like you're comfortable with expressing your self with strangers, but not with close friends and family members. In a way you see us, your viewers as a third party that wont judge you for your thoughts and oppions and give you the support that other people might not give. I could be wrong, but that's how I see it. I geuss it comes down to that a stranger will tell you the whole truth about something.
SignalsOverTheAir 1 month ago
@SignalsOverTheAir Yep, yep. That about sums it up.
soldeglo 1 month ago
replace the "me" in the last sentence with "them" :P
sigh* Typos..
mercilessfreak 1 month ago
It's cause you obviously want to maintain your status with your friends cause you would've set a certain bar which you must constantly either increase or maintain. However you wouldn't have the need to do that with people you haven't met because your status with me will remain unknown :)
Dan
mercilessfreak 1 month ago
@mercilessfreak Haha. Yes. I made a video about that last year. Makes sense!
soldeglo 1 month ago