Best Of vol. 3: Today's Bible Lesson w/ Val Kilmer

[kraqore79]

Gawd dunit

[IWannabeJew]

MBE must have been smoking the good stuff.



[1veryreal]

psychotic scientologists

[SwampThizzle]

Is Kilmer really in that stupid "we don't need no stinkin' doctors" cult? I knew he was a weirdo and kinda fucked in the head, but this still surprises me.

[aimfail]

Hahah:D "I was in prison and ye came onto me!"

[IWannabeJew]

@aimfail I'm the Iceman!

[aimfail]

@IWannabeJew What does that even mean ?

[IWannabeJew]

@aimfail Top Gun. See SNL Val Kilmer skit where he's flying a jetliner. So funny!

[GlorifyHim888]

I love you Val but C.S.is a counterfeit of Biblical Christianity. Hope the Lord reaches out to you and brings you into the little flock.

[artblack01]

This scared the crap out of me, I thought Val Kilmer had actually become a crazy Christian Scientist, but it's just a movie.

[fsuperduty4x4]

what an utter whacko!!

[trun0jay]

It sort of worries me that a Christian Scientist is portraying Mark Twain.

[tweekyseagull]

If Val was to slightly alter his voice, he could sound exactly like George Takei. XD

[0theyield0]

i like this.....i dont know why.......

[MadHatter34784]

Val Kilmer looks better with a beard.

[Lindacullenboyz]

OMG, the breathing!!! The inhale - exhale through the nose...

[californiaspinnaker]

OVEREATING IS A MAJOR SIN !!

[Vengeance31]

@adiostraitorobama Yes Val Kilmer, was raised a Christian Scientist. Looks like he stayed with it.

[adrianafischetti]

Cut your damn hair and exercise and stop eating twinkies. You had one big selling point and that was that you were very attractive, you were a decent actor and you kept your mouth shut so no one knew that you were one of those christian science nut jobs. Pull yourself together, man. And get science, not crazy-i-took-too-much-acid-in-­the-desert-psuedo-religious-ga­rbage.

[croissant321]

he has eaten too much

[meanmachinemarine]

ICEMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

[Musixux]

:O WTF?

[HOMEnHIGH]

hahaha...what a cock...

[TheSololobo]

My favorite is when they switch books and turn the pages; and I'm out within minutes.

[KeyboredNinja]

he looks fat - not smoking enough crack...

[GringoSuelto]

I am ready now for some Church of Scientology readings. I just can't get enough spirituality.

[Tharg]

Christian Science = oxymoron

[pemdas927]

@Tharg Actually sounds like alchemy to me.

[zoeviktorgolding]

Is he taking the piss?

[l337pwnage]

the years have not been kind to Val.

[lacewing22]

I am a nurse and this reading reminds me of how healing is for both body and spirit. Thank you, Nan

[speedskate2010]

stop breathing so hard

[baggin4]

Good night sweet prince... December 31, 1959 - January 27, 2011

[speedskate2010]

@baggin4 why do you say that?



[russocomedy]

Val is reading Mary Baker Eddy for heaven's sake. A man reading from a book. Why is everybody so upset? It's like we've learned nothing in two thousand years. Way to go Val. There are some folks who need to and will benefit from inspired readings.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

@russocomedy Whay are you so concerned? If the book in question had been The Cat In the Hat it would not have been as funny. Religious garbage like this is the stuff comedy is made on.

[russocomedy]

@ScandyTangerineMan; Good question, My concern is people get through with beliefs that help them such as Christian Science. I'm neither saying I agree with the precepts or not. Sure the day by day can be pretty funny stuff I agree. I'm only saying, in effect, ' "don't "throw out the baby with the bath water.' We may not think the water is clear, but there is a human being in the value of the Dynamics involved. Anyway, it's a good thread. Be well in your good beliefs.

[MrAllenHammond]

@russocomedy You're fucking crazy. Stupid asshole

[ajmasouras]

@ScandyTangerineMan Religious garbage, I'm glad you have the chance to share your thoughts about a group of people's beliefs. I wish you well, stand porter at the door.

[SmokiSounds]

@ScandyTangerineMan "garbage" is in your head.

[Mangina9000]

@russocomedy This is funny and I will kill you.

[messybluesboy100]

Has Val got synus trouble or what?

[TirNaNigNog]

bahahahahahaha ....evolution is asinine

[acceptgrace3]

What I know: Val is a Christian Scientist. He does a good job of reading the weekly Bible Lesson, though the editing here magnifies an extra-sensitive-microphone moment. Speaking of funny, he's working on a new film in which he'll play Mark Twain, and you can see a YouTube video about it: Mark Twain & Mary Baker Eddy a film by Val Kilmer. The script readings I've seen are funnier even than this remix. BTW, Mary Baker Eddy discovered and founded Christian Science.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

@acceptgrace3 nothing is funnier than my remix

[spikutus]

I want to be free to believe what I want to believe (or not believe.) Therefore, I let others do the same thing. We don't all have to believe the same things. Be who you are, and let others be who they are and enjoy it.

[goblinondrums]

Is this real? Or was this like Saturday night live?

[etphonehomeism]

I wish I hadn't seen this. The last movie I saw of his was disturbing enough, but this is unreal. Stop going to church and get to the gym!

[BinaryPhoenix]

Why does he inhales so deeply before reading???

[MadHatter34784]

He breathes like Robert DeNiro.

[TheRealReasonForDP]

@MadHatter34784 loll

[rockthecasba16]

Anybody know if I can get the whole episode on dvd? I'm not christian or anything, but I saw this on tv one time and, well, I never fell asleep so fast in my life. XD

[gorillapoetry]

I like when he inhales deeply through his nose.

[halohomer]

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ICEMAN!

[diablecita]

May I vomit now??

[7modernnomad7]

He is a Christian Scientist. They read the book Science and Health with keys to the scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

The program was entitled Today's Bible Lesson. In 60 minutes, he read from both Science & Health and the Holy Bible, alternately. For comedy purposes, my edit shows him reading from one source despite physically changing books throughout.

This is to induce laughter.

[PheonixHeart1974]

Um, he is NOT reading the Bible. That is something other than the Word of God.

[antonfjordson]

if god created everything then he infact created this aswell dipshit.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

Yes, the word of God is much more convoluted and asinine.

[PheonixHeart1974]

@ScandyTangerineMan You are wrong, and obviously don't understand the Bible.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

@PheonixHeart1974 I'm wrong about a man-made collection of text that is perhaps the most contradictory, interpretative, and socially dividing work of fiction in existence? You can disagree all you like, and believe all you want, but don't you DARE say I'm wrong concerning that leatherbound brick of supernatural bullshit and ridiculous fairy tales. Fuck the Holy Bible and all its disgusting propaganda.

[PheonixHeart1974]

@ScandyTangerineMan Dare I, YOU ARE WRONG TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY!! I am sure you have never done a thorough study of the Bible. Because if you had you wouldn't say such things. The most asinine belief is the theory of evolution, not even the great thinkers of the golden age believed such nonsense~something coming from nothing?! pptt. So, I say again YOU ARE WRONG based on the evidence of your lack of study.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

@PheonixHeart1974 Thank you for showing how ignorant you are, since I said NOTHING about the theory of evolution versus creationism. Fuck evolution, too. You're not defending your right to believe, but are proving that you are ready to fight the irrational fight at the first negative word. Like most religious devotees, you don't listen to anyone, all you want to do is attack w/ prefabricated comebacks & bullet points. Belief is NOT the gateway to fact. Santa Claus is MY one true GOD. Thoughts?

[PheonixHeart1974]

@ScandyTangerineMan I gave you nothing. I am not religious, I believe the Bible as the Word of God. You are a hateful (wo)man. You called the Bible, in so many words, incorrect or a fairy tale, and you just want everyone to sit back and let you spew out this lie. It is the only book with the only words of authentic truth. You can worship Santa if you wish, he is actually a pagan god, not a jolly as portrayed though.

[Ryakki]

@PheonixHeart1974

Who cares? Badly written fairy tales are badly written fairy tales.

[gypsyv33]

i saw him was @ soho grand 1998 high as a kite... out of his mind... looks like he found what he was looking for.....

[impossiblefunky]

Might I recommend watching this video with "Gay Bar" by Electric Six at the same time? It's even more fun.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

Haha! It's like opening a secret door...

[Votapardo]

Let me guess: Kilmer's career was going down the drain but one day he found You-Know-Who.

[LibertyBelle1979]

LMAO at the ending with the breathing in and out. Hilarious editing.

[ScandyTangerineMan]

thanks! :D

[ScandyTangerineMan]

@LibertyBelle1979 THANKS! :)

[LibertyBelle1979]

I don't care what he reads, he looks good doing it.

[paranoidfrandroid]

wow great video scandy

[ScandyTangerineMan]

thanks!

[DjC4]

wow. That was trippy LOL where is this from?

[ScandyTangerineMan]

The video as you see it here is my creation, edited from something I just happened to catch on television at 2:30am after work one morning. I couldn't believe it at first, but there was Doc Holliday going on about Christian Science and shit, so after the shock wore off I threw a tape in my VCR and managed to record about 25 minutes of the hour long program. It was just so surreal...but I couldn't resist editing it to fit my own little surrealist vision. Glad you liked it!

[antpirate4ever]

hahaha so true what the f*** happen to Doc???

[zerokomma]

Hey, Val used to be cool!

[ScandyTangerineMan]

Yes he did. Very much so! But this is a spiraling in a very different direction.

[zerokomma]

....like dew before the morning sunshine? Well, whatever makes him happy. Praise the Lord!

[Astro319]

That was surreal, man. It's as if some sort of Christian Scientist terrorists had captured Kilmer and are forcing him, at gunpoint, to read this statement as part of their own jihad. And that mighty intake of air he absorbs before each reading? Priceless. -J. Astro; The Cheap Bin