Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

[lxmoya11]

He is so brave

[vh1roxx]

Dude it's a fucking joke stop thinking it's real you retards

[ducky328i]

This kid has problems. Future killer I have alot of guns & I know one in the foot and one in the back would've done

[tinlin125]

@ducky328i this is fake.the onion is a fake news show that does funny stories..

[PaintKyZR]

If the burglar was trying to hurt someone I would understand. But valuing a few valuable objects over another persons life, it's wrong he is being called a hero.

This is why America is the most fucked up place on earth.

[grindamadurin]

@PaintKyZR lol please tell me you're trolling.. 

[eazydoesit2011]

@PaintKyZR onion news brotha, look it up

[PaintKyZR]

@eazydoesit2011 Oh, my bad. Ahahaha, i'd never heard of the onion.

[tkk92]

...the kid is scaring me. i don't even wanna know what he'll grow up to be.

[HRAustralia]

This is fucked, what the hell

[remohereg]

My god i just realized this was the union

[hardrockergeorge93]

congratulation : a psychopath , and he's only 8 ...

[LuniaVideo]

@hardrockergeorge93 You're stupid

[ggkjgiuguiygiug]

stupid giants fans

[MrAndre416]

Too much COD....... Maybe has his own army....... Maybe wants his dad dead and the BLoOd

[fcukingalien]

THIS IS A FAKE HUMOR VIDEO!!! GOD DAMN....

[ccaian1]

@fcukingalien

Shut the fuck up asshole, people know that. People who don't know, good for them. Their comments are funny.

People like you are spoilers and should probably learn to see the bright and funny side of things.

[max4457]

He's gonna kill somebody in the near future... just look at his face.

[garretandkyle]

This kid needs help

[2pacthugzta]

This is sensationalized garbage. Preying on the old Home Alone tale, pffft!

[et16tt]

he didnt have to kill him its a human live never coming back

[DGMSNightmanboy]

@et16tt But he is a hero. He killed a man who was stealing his property. He is a hero. More kids should be like this.

[et16tt]

@DGMSNightmanboy yes ofcourse more kidds should kill other people that seems so correct

[DGMSNightmanboy]

@et16tt Yes. You get my point. Just like in the ocean. Fishes kill fishes and eat them.

[maradona87]

@et16tt LOL! Babby's first parody.

[Laser367]

why the hell are all comments like a freakin troll fest? stfu and watch the video

[kbjunior1]

As "heroic" as this is, anyone else find this slightly fucked up?

[fr0nage]

@kbjunior1 You retarded or a troll?

[kbjunior1]

@fr0nage are you parents as ignorant as you?

[TheDreae]

@kbjunior1 Anyone else realize it's also slightly fake?

[kbjunior1]

@TheDreae I knew there was something up, to be that calm as a child knowing you can take some one life and be so cool about it is hard to believe. On top of that he's 8?

yeah right lol

[DGMSNightmanboy]

@kbjunior1 This isn't fucked up. This is how the world should be. We need to be heroes. The Onion news is semi-legit. This is sort of true. UNITED

[2pacthugzta]

@DGMSNightmanboy spoken like a true Nazi bastard, now go fuck yourself trash

[DGMSNightmanboy]

@2pacthugzta LOL. Your a funny little kid, aren't you? Get off your computer and go rub your boyfriends dick. Did I fucking say, "Hail Hitler"?

[Aid4nS33rs]

@DGMSNightmanboy Heil*

[DGMSNightmanboy]

@Aid4nS33rs You would know :P

[socks800]

@DGMSNightmanboy how do you figure thats heroic?

[DidntKnowWhatToPut1]

@kbjunior1 ahahaha I like how you only find this "Slightly fucked up"

[socks800]

Am i the only one that thinks LaridEJM is an Idiot?

[LairdEJM]

@socks800 No. Your friend, assface, shares your view.

[socks800]

@LairdEJM the fact that you disagree with this specific view makes you a trigger happy fucking hic

[LairdEJM]

@socks800 What?

[socks800]

@LairdEJM you are on the side supporting this kid am i correct?

[LairdEJM]

@socks800 I take neither side. It is a fictitious story, so I could not possibly pass judgement.

[socks800]

@LairdEJM you can easily judge

[TheLiLShaggy]

i was kinda baffled but, i laughed when he shot off his fingers

[Etnymony]

"Six of burglars teeth found inside own stomach" xD

[TheNuiMaster]

OH GOD

[bunghole211]

people who think this is real should look at the top comment

[TheJadejoey]

this is one sick kid and sick parenting sick schools sick teachers sick tv hosts and channel

[Theespada13]

@TheJadejoey Have you ever heard of the word "satire"?

[TheCaphits]

@TheJadejoey Thumbed, so more people can see how you don't get it.

[DsQclanMG]

But they still call him a hero that's sick fuck living over there

[TheBeBeCaCa]

Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with dad's power drill.

[asssface2000]

theres no liberal pussy anti-gun slant to this skit at all. nope, none.

[youngblud386]

lol you guys no this is fake dumbass

[hgva1]

holy crap "And then I shot off each of his fingers, and then he stopped screaming.." ahaha

[SupaTROopa2]

Somehow I think this one leads up to the school shooting kid.

[Q8379]

I would have laughed but this isn't an implausible scenario in America. Onion videos aren't so funny when they're close to real life..

[asssface2000]

@Q8379 good then stay the fuck out! be a happy little subject of the queen's rule. pathetic worm.

[Q8379]

@asssface2000 What queen? I'm not british you retard murrican

[asssface2000]

@Q8379 makes no difference to me. you cant/wont own a gun, your a pathetic SUBJECT of your gov't. me? im a CITIZEN.

[Q8379]

@asssface2000 Don't make me laugh. The US government is expert in raping its "citizens". Look at all these people who lost their homes, look at the people who died because the gov was too stupid to stop primitive terrorists in 9/11, look at the Patriot Act and other bills passed that limit your freedom. Your guns helped you avoid none of that. And the funny thing is american are too ignorant to grasp their lack of freedom. I'm not the one getting fucked in the ass by my gov every day: you are.

[MyChemicalBromance]

Cliffy B at 8?

[bgytf12345]

that is nuts

[LairdEJM]

This is a genuine question: Is this a joke?

[littlecarrey]

i want the blood......hahah fucking funny i love the onion!

[albatrizzle]

There are 3 levels of intelligence with YouTube audiences:

1.You believe this shit to be real.

2. You get angry or emotionally involved with people who think this shit is real.

3. Those who don't even read comments because it's not worth your time.

Work your way up to level 3, it's much nicer there.

[putusernameher3]

oh wow he's proud.. fucking wanker.

shot his jaw after he's crying for help you have no soul...

[writersblock91289]

@putusernameher3 you are a fucking moron

[joshcrane88]

the intruder put his hands up and please don't shoot at that point the boy should of called the cops not shoot the mother f***** this little kid is the ctook just as much is the burglar

[littlecarrey]

@joshcrane88 .......r u serious dude??.....r u seriously that slow?....are you joking?! cause if not You have "Homer Simpson syndrome"...watch the video again, and regroup your thoughts. people having to tell you its FAKE is the most pathtic thing of all. I apologize if this is a mentally handicap or incredibly old/senile senior citizen that doesn't know any better. If your a creationist I completly understand your confusment as well. ; D So long.

[sharksliveintrees]

For all not familiar this is the onion news network they do comedy and this is fake

[TheMarymonster]

It has to be fake

[OMFGITSROHIT]

Rofl. Too fuckin funny.

[mrjiggleman97]

Ok I think that kid kinda enjoyed shooting that man. I wouldn't recommend having a gun in the house because I'm pretty sure he is going to end up being a killer that kid is really creepy

[dejimmeistahmon4742]

@mrjiggleman97 it's fake dumbass

[writersblock91289]

@mrjiggleman97 you're an idiot

[boobengarden666]

haha half of you idiots don't know what the onion is do you?

[JonzeyGears]

OKAY people who say this obviously fake, or that they can't believe it are just trolls.

[SirTannen]

@JonzeyGears Probably, or foreigners maybe.

[joebulls1]

lmao

[AdmiralBetas]

"...AND THEN HE STOPPED SCREAMING."

[duckypwns]

"I want the blood."

"... =S Well... He's gotten a little shy now hahaha"

[chronix2x]

hahahahahahaahahaha thats some funny shit

[Steven69velez]

I don't trust the little boy.. look at his eyes... scary!

[Anid31]

F-A-K-E

[jamaiman]

@Anid31 no shit :o

[dtbjjrb]

@Anid31 LOL it blows my MIND that people like you and amadeusk331 think that The Onion is trying to trick you into thinking their videos are real. You must be under 12 years old. I am sorry for this rude comment if you are, and if you are older, well, sorry for you!

[CharlieTeague]

"I want the blood"

[unopinionated]

take that fucked up world

[tigab37]

I used to not fear kids with guns, then i took a shot to the knee

[amadeusk331]

this is a fucking joke; not real, sorry.

[TheEgonTowst]

@amadeusk331 No shit. Never heard of the Onion? It's all satire.

[bluewhale18]

I'm not babysitting that kid 

[usernameiforgotit]

8 year old future terriost!

[TheSolitaryTraveller]

this is so real, just look at how not unreal this is.

[SpyingEyesOfDoom]

The onion never posts real stuff, it's made up lol.

[Eliterule213]

The stupidest people on here are the people who think people believe this. They're obviously joking.

[terebithia5000]

Bloody psychopathic child, the shot through the kneecap to stop the burglar maybe. But going on to do all of that just because it is "easy to do" is lunatic.

[tedwestwood]

I hope this isn't real, if it is...... This kid is a fucking lunatic. Shoots the burglar persistently whilst he's begging for mercy on the floor, you'd have thought a shot to the kneecap would have been enough!

[narutofan9tf]

@tedwestwood It's totally real, lol

[tedwestwood]

@narutofan9tf You know I ain't being serious?

[hockeyftw11211]

@tedwestwood THIS KID IS A HERO!

[misskay313]

This little boy seems disturbed and a bit psychotic.

[SuperWarking]

I seriously have lost all hope for humanity after seeing some folks actually believe the shit off some called the fuckin onion is real. You fucks make me sad and sick to my stomach and sincerely hope your off spring isn't this fuckin retarded. .Go fuck yourselves.

[YourCuntingDaughter]

@SuperWarking Expert trolls.

[DubSpaceInvader]

@SuperWarking after i get done fucking your offspring. possibly your wife too ill let you know how my offspring turn out LMAO XD

[LairdEJM]

@SuperWarking From my perspective, a lot of incredibly retarded and strange stuff goes on in America. Frankly. I wouldn't actually be that surprised...

[SuperWarking]

@LairdEJM Oh I'm not surprised. Just incredibly irritated how some folks think this is real....You seen the human head found in a burger segment? Read those comments....Truly amazing

[LairdEJM]

@SuperWarking Haha, yeah good point!

[asssface2000]

@LairdEJM good then stay the fuck out!

[LairdEJM]

@asssface2000 That's not very nice assface, perhaps you should examine the rather large crime levels in your country and your obsession with guns?

[asssface2000]

@LairdEJM are you fucking kidding me? you go research the numbers, they are on MY side.

[LairdEJM]

@asssface2000 "Compared with other countries, the United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world." Presidents Abraham Lincoln Presidents, James Garfield, William McKinley, and John F. Martin Luther King, Jr. Columbine High School massacre, the Beltway sniper attacks, the Virginia Tech massacre, and the 2011 Tucson shooting.

[asssface2000]

@LairdEJM incarceration because of drug laws, in case you didnt know it prisons are fastly becoming privatized=for profit. i can list a bunch of shooting deaths in anti-gun countries, how is that possible? the UK and australia banned guns and soon after gun crimes skyrocketed cuz the criminals still got/can get guns and they know thier victims are unarmed sheep for the slaughter.

[LairdEJM]

@asssface2000 Look mate, you know that America has the highest rate of gun crime amongst all developed countries, and if you tell your citizens that they're allowed to carry these massive killing tools, what do you expect? I'm not looking for an argument, but facts are facts, and you can't debate them away.

[asssface2000]

@LairdEJM you dont have any facts. you have liberal feel good nonsense. good luck with that.

[LairdEJM]

@asssface2000 Firstly, I just gave you a long list of examples and evidence, and secondly I'm not being a 'feel-good' liberal, I'm sorry if my scientific analysis confused your oh-so-high American sense of honour...

[asssface2000]

@LairdEJM if you were scientific youd be crusading against cars and doctors cuz they kill 100,000x more people every year. but your not, cuz your a stupid libtard that does what his libtard news channels tell him to. a gun is nothing sinister, its just a tool, like a hammer, a spoon or a fishing pole.

[LairdEJM]

@asssface2000 Whether you like it or not, a doctor is a profession which is designed to make people better. A gun is a tool, just as you said, but its purpose is to kill. If that simple piece of logic makes me a 'liberal' then you, sir, are a moron.

[asssface2000]

@LairdEJM im tired of you faggot libtard. stay defenseless, if confronted with an attacker, suck his cock deep and hard and beg for mercy its your best option.

[LairdEJM]

@asssface2000 You argument is invalid, and all you can come up with are some pathetic insults which require all 3 of your brain cells to function. Perhaps you should take a look at your comments and see how stupid, ignorant and immature they really are.

[asssface2000]

@LairdEJM your still a defenseless pussy.

[TBH14152142442]

@LairdEJM Just thought I'd let you know I'm totally on your side.

Its crazy how diverse humans are in our opinions. I can't say mine is right, but man, people like this rub me the wrong way.

[LairdEJM]

@TBH14152142442 Nice to hear that other people with the capacity for reason are actually out there.

[philipmarie1854]

@SuperWarking I actually beleived this at first because it was on a diffirent channel but now I know its true. Yeah, silly me, but there were children who actually killed people, like Mary Bell.

[Yapshire]

@SuperWarking Satire is lost on the stupid. 

[ohmygoddahal]

@SuperWarking ok we call it real because it satire so go fuck yourself dumb fuck

[SuperWarking]

@ohmygoddahal Call it real because is is satire.....That makes perfect sense! I am amazed you have made it through the natural selection process. Last, what the hell are you talking about? You referring to the comment I made about how some of these dumb fucks need to go fuck themselves for actually believing this shit is real?

[RYNO2511]

All hope for humanity is lost if people believe this, fuck people are dumb

[renzd2]

Okay creepy. The kid keeps on saying "I want the blood"

[MrBEARDEDLEGEND]

if you think this is real you are an idiot

[Maguel83]

Well done kid! And to all of you FOX news viewers: this is 100% real!!!!

[connorcanfly1]

A young George Bush

[chrissesmissis]

Disturbing...

[EvelcyclopS]

first advert i've enjoyed wathcing through

[ILuvConverse197]

What the hell?! He laughed afterwards? He shot each of the fingers?

... "I want the blood"

I feel so sad for this kid. He just committed a sin :-(

[T1meW4st3d]

@ILuvConverse197 There it is....

[HiTEqMETHOD]

Oh it's funny because it's true.

[TheMesston]

How Dis Kid Allowed To Live In The World. :-/

[Sinitsu]

@TheMesston Onion News Network.

[luisrock2008]

Mom: Hey, have you seen grandpa

[yupitsmaple]

To bad its fake

[chickenpollo1013]

I like this kid!

[kendrat199]

Can you please actually do a clip to discuss the warning signs that our pets might actually be CIA moles!

[sayguywtfisjuice]

"i want the blood"

[Spartancraft]

If it's fake, does it still deserve an arrow to the knee joke?

[wese3000]

@Spartancraft HELL YEAH!!, I was going to shoot my burglar like this kid, but then i took an arrow to the knee.

[yatayatayata]

I used to be a homeless man that looked like a burglar, but then I took a bullet in the knee... by a psychopathic 8 year old.

[Arpin186]

@b22frozenfire lmfao

[ImTxchy]

yeah it is fake onion new is a tv show that makes stuff up

[Isalys555]

power drill, lmao.

[73fireball11]

he said I want the blood?

[ZombiesNIghtmare99]

HE killed him and laughed (future serial killer) and his a hero... who knows whats next...

[StalkingRainbow]

@ZombiesNIghtmare99 Google "Satire".

[ZombiesNIghtmare99]

this is what makes America look terrible 8 year old shoots a person "protecting" his family and every body is proud

[b22frozenfire]

@ZombiesNIghtmare99 you are retarded aren't you

[highon74]

@b22frozenfire They have to be. Those are total 'short-bus' comments. Hopefully Zombies do not reproduce

[thepussymaster13]

This is fucked up

[vinthechin12]

this kid seems like a cereal killer.

[highon74]

@vinthechin12 serial not cereal

[Sinitsu]

@vinthechin12 What the fuck is a cereal killer? Do they go to the grocery store and throw boxes of cereal on the ground laughing maniacally?

[FromanMD]

Flagging is disabled for these ass sniffers?

[SPNaedre]

Warning signs that your pet is a CIA Mole?

.... "PERRY! PERRY THE PLATAPUS!"

[ferbfan12]

@SPNaedre EPIC LIKE

[pvticecream]

Lololol

[neasnat]

duh fuck

[SuperJohn719]

"I like the way the blood made me feel.......I want the blood" LOL

[gteri1]

natoxbox360, thanks, my bad. was having a serious day and saw this and replied seriously. I GET It. This is the seed of Charles Bronson... we need more of him and Bernie Goetz. Keep up the good work.

[fxxfred]

thats so funny

[cheesefishy]

I hope this is fake.. good to hear a robber get shot, scary to hear the kid loving blood and laughing... wth.

[TheSpaceCowb0i]

@cheesefishy no its completely real.how can you even think that something so serious and horrible could be fake. people like you disgust me

[xxTheCatsMeow]

This is hilarious!

[kayamar]

Baha, The Onion rocks.

[Lp062607]

Ummmm this is kinda weird n scary!! I mean the kid is scary lol "i want the blood".......?...wtf