Shit Bartenders Say

[karmacornertv]

Ive been bartending for 13 years and have lived in all the above mentioned cities. While I am not a mixologist, I do enjoy the occasional craft cocktail, but also feel like it gets to a point when its ridiculous, as this video illustrates. That being said, it is by far the most accurate video of all the service industry ones Ive seen, not to mention fucking hilarious... Great job to the uploader...

[Bleazzy2425]

Bravo.

[curtmastor]

i for the life of me will never understand how someone who isnt rich gets into mixed drinks. at a decent bar in a decent sized city its like 20 bucks to get anything that resembles a fucking buzz.

[Thelookoutslookout]

I LOVE THIS! I'm a bartender, trained during the pre-artisinal-pretentiousness era, and I can't stand the douchebaggery that exists right now in so many city restaurants with their "Cocktail Programs" and shit stain "Mixologists", who can make 5,000 drinks, but can't hold a normal, everyday conversation.

This video hits the nail on the head. Thank you.

[Steevo11]

Hilarious!

[RottenDaydream]

you make me want to barf. hard.

[TheTio]

Since we're getting specific, it's more like shit effeminate hipster bartenders say.

[dordorng]

Love it. Super hilarous1

[Crazycro905]

What hipster bar does this guy work at? When I work I only have time to say what can I get you and the price.

[DubsMood]

@Crazycro905 thats satire dude...

[graniteminds]

some of these are gay... Cause no one really cares what a bartender says... Just give me my damn drink and here's a tip. Moving on !

[mountaingoat84]

I've drank many places and I've never met a bartender that says shit like this...what sort of hipster town was this made in?

[TheBartenderSydney]

More like "Shit Hipster Bartenders say"

[mascovotti]

Not even close...or funny. 

[MOXWELLDIAMOND]

@mascovotti you're uneducated son. This shit is on the dot....you must be in the suburbs eating at applebees.

[wesscoville]

How can you not like this video?

[eternalsunshine14]

Seriously? Shit hipster bartenders say is right. No one that bartends talks like this.

[MrJoeGenius]

"Gee, this ice has too many bubbles in it and that will compromise the integrity of the Peychaux bitters..."

Absolutely hysterical!

[lynaemarie88]

You guys straight nailed it! I hope your do some guest mixology at my chocolate lounge. Where are you from?

[HeAndSheFilms]

Love the 'stache!! Check out my film...Sh*t Legos Say...

[azriel724]

I'm a bartender, I never ever say this stuff.

[abray88]

Im a bartender and I do not say any of those things (minus I'm so hungover) this should be ship hispters say. Also, who the fuck calls themselves a mixologist

[towned]

"Shit hipster bartenders say" not cliche enough for it to be just bartenders.

[LadyLizard86]

You should do one with a female bartender. Just saying. It's totally different!

[djwallace85]

when i lived in portland hahaha

[wordofmouthrevisited]

i only use free range eel farts in my craft sake cocktails

[feoapplebum]

THE HIPSTERITY IS TOO MUCH.

[strictlydubwise]

"Herbal notes." Hahahahahahahaha!!!

[JonasClark]

I sure did need a laugh about now. I dabble in tending and hang out at "craft cocktail" sorts of bars - should I be shocked that I neither hear nor say these?

[Angelmeier]

one of the best parts (my opinion) "Go at it , man" not sure who it is in the credits.

?

[GianluigiBosco]

27 people consider themselves mixologists

[C5Rigzz]

1:10 the shake is awesome. lol You have to spend thousands of dollars and move to Japan for a year to learn to do that. It gets the drink to maximum coldness. Batman learned this shake in the ice fjords.

[Bfdproductions2012]

shit people say at concerts

[ingersollturok]

layers of flavor!

[carrionman]

"so.... Sake's dead"

oh boy.

[masterhide]

Haha! I love the scenes of him "making" the drink. So gross & funny!! 

[arielgray412]

Can you please show me how to make a Disaronno on the rocks?

[caffeinex36]

You missed a few. You didn't mention 'bruising' 'dry shaking' 'cold draft' 'clear ice' or 'DeGroff' !

[jcreasey]

this is so good... hahahahaha can't stop laughing. for more awesome bartender tid bits, check out my website... StoriesFromBartenders

[Appee]

This is such a funny and on-point video! Every word is true and must agree that the makers have an in-depth view of the mixolgy-scene. Well done :)

[yodizzlexxx]

Classic! I'm not a mixologist... I prefer "cocktologist"...

[Thelookoutslookout]

@yodizzlexxx LMAO

[Pooqua]

"Don't ever shake that drink. You'll kill it." I've said that many times.

[metinee]

Aaaaaahahahahaha! That's brilliant!! All my bartender pals talk just like that!! It's just passion...captured truly well! Bravo!

"I bought my own Ice"...hahahahahaha!

[lakoeb]

hah this is retarded.. I don't know a single bartender that acts like this. regardless... if this were really shit we say its just bitching about dumb drunk people and the people we want to bang

[joffeloff]

@lakoeb the whole point is that bartender is striked out and replaced with 'mixologist'. it's not shit bartenders say. it's shit 'mixologists' say.

[aftrthejake]

"Mixologists make drinks, bartenders make money" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. How about you're pretentious, and bartenders work for a living.

[notmyrealname1234567]

@aftrthejake I think he is supporting bartenders suggesting that they work harder/faster and provide more service to people, thus more money, not bashing them. Just how I interpret it.

[douglasdalay619]

LMAO @ the straining at :43. There was absolutely nothing to strain.

[BigLucille]

would be funnier if it weren't so painfully true. also i'm sure thats a "fixie" he is leaning against with his stylish little cycling cap with the bill flipped up.

[BigLucille]

@BigLucille but i guess that's the point...

[Gerahuevo]

hahahaha the mixologist at my job loved this. it's sooooo true.

[CaribouRed]

NNNNOOOOOOO THAT FUCKING MUDDLING TECHNIQUE AT THE END IS KILLING ME ARRRGHHHHH

[originalufamizm]

This is spectacular! Very well done and obviously by someone with much insight in the craft bartending scene. I consider this the template for how not to be a pretentious craft bartender!

[phillipholes]

I'm tired of you fucking middle and upper middle class hipsters that have mommy and daddy paying for everything...thinking you're cunning and funny. Keep drinking PBR.

[bigjmurf]

if i was bartending with anyone who said shit like that i would pull his underwear over his head and throw his ass out the front door

[chillycocktails]

Fuck yes. Being a bartender in SF for over 15 years we laugh at these clowns 4-5 nights a week. There's few true BARTENDERS left, the majority are hipster dofus'

[joffeloff]

he's not 'hipster' just because he has facial hair. yes he's an obnoxious 'mixologist' stereotype, but not a hipster. sheeeesh. a 'mixologist' cocktail elitist would never order a PBR. get your stereotypes right.

[burton941]

Shit hipsters say, this was awful. Forgot "Pass me a PBR"

[bayrooot]

This should be called "Shit Obnoxious Fucking Hipsters Say"

[gypsyv33]

 "SHIT PRETENDERS SAY"

[kungfukym3232]

Soooooooo funny. I'll admit to saying or doing about 5 of the things in this video. Proudly. Respect the cocktail! :)

[DrQxx]

The credit sounds remind me of my Saturday night!

[Geocachedrobson]

Enough with these videos!! Not funny, especially a hipster bartender...

[tgraca50]

This guy is really you right? I mean really... "He's" a mixologist? Talking about yourself in the 3rd person, eh! Come out of the closet and admit it! YOU are the guy in this video! ;)

[FTingB]

@tgraca50 /facepalm

[Noximusek]

"I've got my own ice" - way too hardcore :D

[RegJR1]

Add an Aussie accent and this is Melbourne. The waistcoat. The cap. The beard. The bulshit. The lot!! Work with these guys and love this video!!

[allancuevasmusic]

LOL can you guys do one on flair bartenders?

[wendybian]

"Don't ever shake that drink or your kill it!" hahahahaha i've bartended at a lot of these kind of bars and this can not be more spot on i'm almost died!!

[CharlieDXB1978]

EPIC!!

[rottendisplay]

kill yourself

[tigahstyle]

I'm a fancy bartender, and this is so spot on it cracks me UP! roofles!

[AndyAnimal]

No they don't!

[ninariccinoel]

LOL this is on point w/Mixologists. This is for a specific kind of bartender, not all bartenders. Find the nearest craft cocktail bar, preferably one in a hip neighborhood near the city, and you'll find these.

[MySlamduncan]

Did anyone else get a hard on watching him muddle ?

[JosephEaorle]

Maybe it just applied to Madison bartenders. I mostly drink beer so i didn't think I'd get this, but knowing enough bartenders in this town makes this video pretty hilarious to me, even though the types of bars I go to aren't quite this type of place

[vapes999]

fernet bottles in the background of course

[shelbydhall]

... Yeah I'm a bartender... Have been for 10 years... And I don't think this is right... Sorry guys. You could've done SO much with this.

[noxin81]

@shelbydhall Then do your own video?

[shelbydhall]

@noxin81 Haha ;) nah I know I'm not good at that. I'll stick with the things I -am- good at. I'll leave the videos up to other people. I just expected it to be as spot-on as the other "Sh*t ____ People Say" videos. I guess it is, for some people, judging by the comments ;) and I guess, to qualify, I've never been a West Coast or Pacific Northwest bartender ;)

[brothergrok]

I don't know any bartenders who say this.

[cjtree]

I would never go to whatever kind of bar has this sort of bartender

[dzindc]

This is hysterical and pretty accurate. Particularly the $18.50 at the end....

[whosam1]

Thank you for that. 

[jkd5h2]

@26095, no "you" understand quite well. 99% don't. Your comment is a trug enigma in that you are filled with so much intelligentce knowledge and stupidity/ignorance at the same time.

[26095]

@jkd5h2 Huh?

[Ktbattle83]

They should have ended this video with the bartender in a bar saying, "Can I have another PBR?"

[JustBeenSubscribed]

Newsies motherfucker!!!

[Mantroglodyte]

Oh my god I know this actual real life guy!

[Sponge10224]

Mixologists make drinks, Bartenders make money!

[dredheadV2]

"Are you going to Tales of the. Cocktail?" Gave me much lulz. Obviously this was an inside job :D. Spot on, too. Bitters, bitterness, and specialty ice.

[darlindee07]

this guy wouldn't last at my club.

[funkyfleur]

whispers... "Go at it man..."

[funkyfleur]

<3

[megameg216]

The folks at Nightclub & Bar love this. Thanks for posting!

[ISwamLikeLions]

Sounds like this guy would love Liber & Co.'s Spiced Tonic Syrup :-)

[SeanCollinsSTL]

I adore this. Thought the "S__S" meme was done, but really, we needed to see this. And the cocktail shaking. And the muddling. And the mustache.

[blairf27]

98% true!

[NYCEnglish]

I wanna smack his stupid moustache off his face!

[jdempsey1313]

Well, sake;s dead. hahahah

[jkd5h2]

So many trash people here not understanding what a craft cocktail is or what a real bar is....

[26095]

@jkd5h2 Oh, we understand quite well. We also understand that it should not take 15 minutes to make one "craft cocktail." And before you get all sniffy and dismissive because you feel that you alone know what a "real bar is," let me say that I was taught by the guy who made Martinis for the Round Table, thirty five years ago. I have tended bar on four continents and I think I know what a real bar is, and these mustachioed impostors are nowhere near what would ever have been considered "real."

[gweilojohn]

@26095 "The Round Table?" Which one? If you're referring to the Algonquin Round Table of cocktail fame, that would have been a good deal more than 35 years ago, since that was around 1919. If there's another one, cool, but most Martinis 35 years ago would have been straight chilled vodka or gin. Decent drinks, sure, but not terribly impressive.

That said, a good drink need not take 15 minutes, and "craft" has been taken too seriously by some people. But if you think you can shake, Rematch...

[26095]

@gweilojohn He was old, I was young. The torch was passed, what can I say? He had already lived his life, and his days in NYC were long behind him. He was very clear about the difference between what was being made in the 60s and 70s and what he was familiar with. I just was lucky to be in the bar he chose to spend his last days in, and he liked me. The Martini that I make is his, not mine, and people from Beijing to Istanbul have said that it was the best Martini that they had ever had.

[mattycapecod]

this guy would last about 30 seconds at any of my bars

[rixjensen]

"I brought my own ice." Love it!

[Maliceah]

Ah, trendy drinks! Give me a shot of Absolut any day! :)

[squirlygirl27]

I spot a furthermore beer in there!

[lishmuttonchops]

Totally Corral room in Madison, WI!

[warrenbobrow1]

I love this work! Tongue in cheek of course!

[toonfan2007]

Much like the "barista's". You dispense coffee, for God's sake!

Not that I could understand much of his nasal whining, mind.

[26095]

I have found that the phrase, "We make our own bitters" is code for "We suck at bartending."

[tencentchef]

"I brought my own ice!!" Love it.

[blksky]

hilarious

[Opretlis]

1:10 Reminds me Marian Beke :)

[danieldeuce]

more like hipster douche bag wannabe bartenders ha

[gabrielle0180]

Give me a layback of gin, because it isn't dead.

[rociodelmoral]

hahhahahhahahahhahahhahahhahah­ha

[MissKae22]

Watching him muddle is painful.

[JohnnyAtTheBroiler]

I am bartender in Sacramento and this describes about half of the bar staff in this city. Bravo!

[youngal]

Yeah, Um, sorry, buuut we don't have Redbull.

[desilva1211m]

Do you replace your women with porn on the internet and a male sex toy! seems that's the route your going down!!

[Disciplinatamente]

Love the shaking part.. well represent how ridicolous (and useless) is the Hardshaking!! Nice Job Guys!

[Dkarraker]

Brilliant. Only thing missing is some kind of trick with a vintage Zippo lighter found in a Brooklyn swap meet.

[newengland72]

@Dkarraker To flame the citrus, no doubt.

[Roadhouseflair]

Awesome! Be nice now 'jrm59e'. Bartenders are cool and will continue to be with vids & humour like this. Lose the chip...So not money baby!

[kimjasonspence]

This is seriously funny.....

I have said at least 50% of these things....

[Alexproudfoot]

This is my 8th watch of this!!! (I'm also a bartender and I know how to not take myself serious enough to laugh at this) this video is awesome! "I brought my own ice" I've actually seen this happen!

[Disciplinatamente]

@Alexproudfoot lol I brought my own ice to a cocktail competition! Sorry :)

[jordogrande]

Spot on... way to represent WI - I love seeing Furthermore in there..

[168LilBit]

Ok seriously?? I'm a bartender and I DO NOT think so highly of myself.. I am down to earth and out to have a good time.. But every bartender knows that they can control the mood of a crowd quicker than a DJ or Band anyday. I think YOU JRM59E need to not pass judgement on people like that. What's wrong did you not get the bartending job you were trying for?

[ashcogan]

@168LilBit Pretty sure I go to a bar to watch a DJ or band not bartenders. As a bartender you can be replaced with a self service drink dispenser.

[198mattwood]

@ashcogan This has actually been tried, apparantly they lack the charisma of a bartender and don't have the ability to listen to a customer n make a drink by their specification....that and a band a DJ can be replaced by spotify much easier and cheaper....thanks for the comment tho =]

[vicstarman]

Absolutely perfect in every way. Kudos! From PDX

[benriddlebarger]

He muddles like my dead grandmother.

[MissKae22]

@benriddlebarger

Word.

Sharing your comment.

[benriddlebarger]

At least he isn't stodgy.

[ArbiVartan]

You're using a 3-piece shaker? ...scoff

On the rocks? You serious?

Ya, I got my bartending license from the [Insert City Name] School of Bartending.

Do you like your scotch peety?

I just do this part-time; I am actually

- a student

- a blogger

- an artist

- the owner

[jrm59e]

Is there any group of people in the world that think as highly of themselves as bartenders do? People that SERVE other people alcohol... That's really something to strive for. Bartenders think they are so cool.

[tammarahc]

@jrm59e we are...



[GlennPaulWills]

Make your own tonic water  lolz

[evange03]

Shouldn't this be shit annoying hipster bartenders say?

[benriddlebarger]

@evange03 A hipster bartender would say nothing, look at you with contempt, and hand you a PBR. That wouldn't make for a fun video.

[JimPlottier]

@benriddlebarger That's only if you're not a fellow hipster. If you are a hipster then he has to blah blah all this nonsense in your face so you think he's cool.

[boneselie]

that shake!perfecto!brilliant :)

[frankiedegoya]

I almost thought he worked at Rye or Hotel Delmano, but then I realized, he's actually nice, he's not a total effing snob, so he couldn't possibly work at those places. He must be in Portland, not Williamsburg. Or if not Portland, definitely a part of Brooklyn that the L Train doesn't stop in.

[Alexproudfoot]

Best thing I've seen a AGES!!!

[WorldsBars]

Classic! Cheers to you!

[mmerrill001]

Tincture! Pitch perfect

[cothadactyl]

Top Notch

[joffeloff]

the hard shake killed me.

[Twizzler2003]

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!1

[samguy0]

you need more eyebrow.

[winstonedwards]

bowrofl this is spot on