My take and feelings on Single Black Mothers

[JoJoKitty1]

I would like to know why aren't you applying this to single mothers in general and why only black single mothers? I think you are stereotyping a lot of us out here and even though your tone is calm its not how u say things at times it's what you are saying. We even have racist people on here applauding you for this smh. Thumbs down

[capnhands]

dating single moms is like ordering a steak at a diner thats been half eaten

[laurenoliver23]

I don't date men with kids and I don't blame men for not wanting to date women with kids.

[carmelgoddess612]

It is exactly this kinde of thinking why I give up on black men since I am a single mother. If this is how they feel then fuck em

[nuttalexx]

i have kids and i dont like other peoples kids yes im female too

[Honeygirl1234]

stop putting down single moms. your not a real man

[dznutz1971]

@Honeygirl1234 your not a real women if you bastard breed and shit out kids and expect jimmy dumbass to pick up YOUR slack.

[candykis33]

Every1 must remember that n relationships, it is always give & take, sumtimes 1 of the mates doing more taking than they r giving. Thats where the problem arises when kids come nto the picture. Sometimes a woman's child(ren) will come b/f the man. Thats just the natural order of things. At the same time, though, a single mother must understand that man's needs must b met as well. This is the reason why expectations should be discussed at the start of the relationship, not 3 months down the line.

[Jarack123]

on point man. great work

[LDNballer]

Mate I was wondering why you are only applying your opinions towards Black single mother and not towards single mothers in general?

[MiisPeaches]

Are you fu@cin serious?So a person has to be on mental point for you. Are you sure you're on a fu@cin mental point?That's why I kept my Twins away from men Their three years of life they had positive male role models and I didn't have random ass relationships like most of my single females parent friends. black, white, etc that club and drink and fu@k all night. I had the first love of my life tell me he wanted me but then could not deal that my kids aren't his! now how selfish is that shit?

[nerdon3rd]

I'm not saying all you single moms are bad just like all BW who aren't are not cool. However it irks me that as a Black male nerd since I'll be put in the backburner till probably my 30s .I think a woman having her first child with a v guy is a fucking honor. I don't want to be the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th baby daddy. That sucks. In the words of Ricky Bobby "if you not 1st than you're last".

[DaSurreal1da]

@MiisPeaches How can You not see the selfishness of your request? Is he that selfish for not wanting to take care of kids that aren't his? What are 3 advantages for him to take on the responsibility of rearing your children. I only name advantages because if a relationship is too one sided it is parasitic for the person who receives no benefit. Now if you cant name 3 advantages for him,you may now see why he might have not wanted to get with you.

[mysticsunrise254]

I have two wonderful boys and they are smart, creative, and they are both very talented musicians and athletes. I could give less than a damn if ANY man would not date me b/c of my children. I could've been married years ago, but I'm single by choice, not because I've never been chosen. We don't walk around with our heads down, we have a good time EVERYWHERE we go. I'm not boasting about being a single parent, but I definitely don't walk around w/my head down as a result of it...

[HarrietS100]

I think you are makin some really good points. Single mothers may not want to hear what you are saying . But you are making a lot of sense and yes i am a single mom. But i am also a successful single mother.

[vfIskullangel]

I can't date someone with kids period. I can't even do a FWB relationship because its so wrong, there are men out there who date these women I'm just not one of them.

I'm the type of guy that hopes to run into a girl who's saving herself for marriage. Thats my type of woman.

Dating a girl with kids would mean we aren't on equalfooting. She could take full advantage if she wanted to.

[cremebruleec]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a black man who does not want to date a single mom. It's entirely up to him if he is not interested in establishing a relationship with a single mom. Some people are okay with children and others find it unattractive, and that's fine. He should not play games with her and just be upfront.

[enyawix]

watch?v=c6-jR-ni2E8&feature=re­c-HM-fresh+div

[takethat2thebank]

i think the guy in the video makes very valid points...i just wanted to address a comment a saw, someone said that a guy with kids didn't want to date a woman with kids...i dont see anything wrong with that, because maybe he is lookin at the situation from a longterm point of view and he didnt want an instant brady bunch type family...plus if her childs father is stillin the picture and his childs mother is still in the picture, than thats going to be a very complex relationship, too many people

[takethat2thebank]

it is almost impossible to date if you are a single mother (in my eye's)...#1) my child takes up the majority of my time, giving me one or two days out of a week or two in order to even go on one date, one date...which makes it almost impossible to hold a man's attention and give him the time/affection he wants/needs...#2) i dont want my son to see me dating different men which means i would have to be in a serious committed relationship, which isnt possble because i dont have the time for that

[pinkkelephant]

so have u given up on dating or just feel that it is something you cant do?

[takethat2thebank]

i feel like i can't seriously date someone right now...i can go on frivolous dates evry now and then, but i dont feel it is possible to get serious with anyone...im always at home with my son and i refuse to let him see a man/men come into or home and court me, that is dead wrong in my eyes

[pinkkelephant]

will that change when your son gets older?

[takethat2thebank]

i don't know...it would probably be nice to have someone to love romantically, but for some strange reason i just see myself being alone...once he gets older i might be so stuck in my ways that it would be difficult to bring another person into the equation...i guess only time will tell

[pinkkelephant]

i guess so. you just have to make sure that you deal with family oriented men and not just men who seem like good people.

[takethat2thebank]

of course, trust me im no dummy...that is a part of what makes dating nearly impossible...just because a guy is good to me, doesnt mean he is good for me and my son...plus, there are a lot of twisted people out there that either dont know how to handle kids and can be abusive towards them, or sick perverts that sexual abuse kids...and i would not put my child or myself in that position...being a mother, especially a single mother, is immense responsibility...i just pray i make the best decisions

[nomeconocen]

When you say "dates" do you mean going out, then you calling it off? Or do you mean something that you wouldn't ever tell your son about? Like one night stands?

[BruhMan09]

Why is it so WRONG for a black man to say he doesn't want to date a single mom? I guess it's okay for a black women to say she doesn't want to date a nice guy or a brotha with a small @@@@. Can you say Double Standards!!!

[uy97]

thank you these young black teenage mothers don't really raise they children right cuse at them when they 4 and other crap black women stop having babies out of wedlock

[Evie3111]

these types of videos scare meeee....cuz it discourages dating single moms

[imsatindoll]

the only way to discourage a man from dating a single mother is if he already made up in his mind not to. it does not discourage men who do. and if it does it is because of that single mothers behavior not some other man's experience.

[deanna0384]

i agree with what u said i feel the same way about men with kids

[pinkkelephant]

thanks. people have certain situations that they can handle and things that they cant. its better to be open about them so people can understand and not just be upset.

[imsatindoll]

as a single mother, I understand the liability a guy who is interested in me may also see me &my son as. me personally I try to reassure the guy I am getting to know to understand that yes my son is important but that my significant other is important to me to and will get the necessary treatment. however if he is not convinced all because of a stereotype instead of looking at my actions and words then I cant do anything about that. I can only convince the one who throw me the greenlight....

[Evie3111]

Yeah I agree, but it sounds like MEN dont really wanna put effort in a relationship like that and thats an issue and thats why single moms stay single...

[imsatindoll]

cant say I agree. yes there are men who just wont deal with women with kids but not all men are like that. some men really do not mind being in a relationship with a single mother. I think single mothers should just respect the men who dont want them and leave them where they at and focus their attention on the men who do want them.

[iceangel140]

i hate to see women doing anything else but being with their childen. and they laying up having more and moe kids and can barely handle one. ive known women who kept getting pregnant and acting like it just happen ok after your first child you cant use that excuse it didnt just happened. these women need to smarten up. there is to many precautions out there to have these slip ups. i got pregnant young but i learned and that what we all need to do

[iceangel140]

ok im a young single mother myself. whenever i talk to a guy the first thing i tell him is that i have son and after that the ball is in his court if he wants to continue talking koo if not ok. i made the choice to have my son and all the responsiblity that goes along with it. i dont act like im not a mother. i dont pawn him off to everyone so i can go out and be clubs or whatever and it makes me mad when i see other single mother doing that. if you made that choice then live with it

[uy97]

to ICEANGEL140 U ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN MOST YOUNG BLACK WOMEN KEEP DOING YO THANG IF ONLY MORE YOUNG BLACK WOMEN HAD YOUR MINDSET KUDOS

[iceangel140]

thank you. i really appreciate that. im just trying to set an example for my son

[AfreeQueen]

Angel, he's not J4. J4 has a lisp, first of all. lol Pink actually has a job as an educator. J4 is still in school. (from what I gather)...

[987AuthOrity]

"This is JWriter 4,I am sure of it" Come on nup-nup.....this is ain't JW4. completely different dude

[987AuthOrity]

The dialect an accent is different

[pinkkelephant]

we're done. you really have not watched my vids because male domination is not even part of my program. find someone else to deal with. im not jwriter. lol. have my voice analyzed if you like. but like i said before. what is your issues with my content.

[pinkkelephant]

? what. even if i am jwriter 4, what is your question or concern with me or my vids. i've had the same account since july or august. i think i would have been identified already if i was jwriter or whoever u think i am.

[AfreeQueen]

pinkk, please add your commentary on the last comment fenderbass made (11 hours ago)

"A would by nature a man would screwchix and come back to you and his kids.That's a commitment.A woman would screw around then have this mans kids calling her man daddy.That's women for you."

What do you think of that point of view?

[mehretmg]

I am a black female with no kids, so i totally agree with the video commentary. However, I have had male friends with kids who have said they only want to date women with no children. This is a complete hypocracy. Please address....

[pinkkelephant]

your right it is. we all have the habit wanting something out of the opposite sex that we in turn cannot provide. if he wants women with no kids then he must have no kids but that is not a requirement he can have anymore.

[bca0003]

Good points.There is a double standard. It's ok for the women to have all these requirements for who they will and won't date (job, education, income). But when a man has standards and says he won't date a single mom then he's the shallow superficial bad guy.

[jeff2all]

I'm old enough now to see the whole cycle of single black mothers -daughters and I see that dudes who hook-up with these women are just being used until they are not needed any more in the relationship, not all but most.

[blkskin1]

you covered the spectrum wonderfully bro I see more women who let there kid(s) run the household. No matter how positive and progressive the decision the child gets to have input and usually those kids are not given guidance and dont receive nurturing from their mother and therefore have emotional issues. Then the father(s) are usually as impulsive and irrational as the female and there mostly likely still chemistry amongst them

[grayhair33]

Most BM who have adirection, who don't have kids, should avoid a SINGLE MOM, if he has to in any way put up with crap. Meaning BW don't want BM to realize the truth. That the moment a BM lets himself get sucked in, he is screwed. His life will be turned upside down. Then SOME BW try to make the BM feel bad if he decides he doesn't want to be a part of this nonsense. Don't feel guilty bothers avoid the SINGLE MOMS. BW listen to your heart and be honest with yourself.

[grayhair33]

A single mother is not a MARTYR. Now I am not talking about a BW whose man DIED or was KILLED. However a divorced BW, or a BW who met the guy at the club, or the BAR, or even the church, She makes hat choice to get pregnant. The women know that the current system rewARDS SINGLE MOMS WITH THE FOLLOWING. a PERCFENTAGE OF HE bm INCOME, GOV'T HELP, WELFARE, EDUCATIONAL HELP. hER FAMILY(females) USUALLY pitch in to help. SO lets be real if the man did not rape you, what is the real excuse???

[grayhair33]

AFREEQUEEN, What was this man doing before you laid down with him to have sex??? Most BW will deflect, defer, and try to deter a BM when he asks this?? Somehow the moment this question is asked, we are bashing, or we hate our mothers and other PSYCHOTIC answers. All that is done not becasue the woman is overly emotional, it is done because she is MANIPULATING the situation to HERE ADVANTAGE. BW have set responses to these questions, In general you will not get a real answer.

[AfreeQueen]

This is the first time you asked the question grayhair33. My answer is that he was MY HUSBAND (as i told pinkkelephant) before I laid down with him to have sex and a year later, started to have OUR children together.Now you tell me how I manipulated the situation.

What answer were you expecting me to give? I REALLY hate it when people assume that I'd do or say something based on the responses of other black women who's answers have pissed them off.

[Remedymp]

It's very unfortunate that other Single black mothers have cultivated a new culture that compasses the "five-nine" rule. And it just so happens that Ms. Erica has been falsely lumped into that category.

[fenderbass]

you must be an old chick.

[AfreeQueen]

If you checked out my channel... No, I'm not an "old chick"...I'm 35. That's not old. I'm in my prime, man.

What would make you say that anyway?

[fenderbass]

35 is old.That's when you old chix want to do right by your man then.Not before that unfortunately.Yall like the wild boys.

[AfreeQueen]

Wow. So now you know me, right? Let me explain something to you. I was married for 14.5 years ..in a good marriage before my ex decided he didn't want to be married anymore. In fact, in about 9 months we will be getting divorced. No one is perfect but one thing's for sure, I didn't go skipping out on our marriage with anyone else. I did right by him but he wanted something else.

Close to 4 months later (now) I'm moving on with my life and I have found someone else to care about...

[AfreeQueen]

... Want his age? 36... Want his occupation? He use to be a Home Care worker, now he's looking for more employment and I'm standing by him through it all...Want to know whether he's wild? No, he's a deep-thinking man with his morals and values in check.

Your opinion is exactly what I was talking about in the beginning of this discussion. If there isn't one negative perception of single mothers who were married, there are others, as per your insult that I'm an "Old Chick who wants wild boys".

[fenderbass]

What do you call a "good" marriage?Maybe it was "good" to you.Men just don't walk out for no reason.

[AfreeQueen]

Really? LOL You don't know one man who just got bored with waking up to the same face over and over and over again for years and found another woman just to hurt the other one? See, my ex decided 2 days after telling me he loved me, kissing me before he left the house to go to another state to see his family that he didn't want to be married anymore because 'he changed'. Then after I suggested marriage councelling, told him how much he meant to our family unit, slept with me for 3 days..just

[AfreeQueen]

because he could... then on the 3rd day, decided that he wanted a divorce because his "priorities changed". Between the following 4 weeks until my 35th birthday in February i found out even after asking him repetedly if there was someone else, that there was someone else..my stepdaughters found pictures of him and the other woman, (who was in the 'other state' on the day he left, before announcing that he didn't want to be married anymore) , then I found emails which suggested he'd been

[AfreeQueen]

cheating for more than the amount of time he was willing to admit to. THEN he gave me 30 days to move out (at which point he was supposed to move also *military housing situation*) 3 days after I left, the woman was in our house in bed with him and the kids didn't know she was there until they woke up the next morning.

I said all of this to say this, he has apologized saying that he knows that his actions destroyed our marriage and that we'll never be a couple again and that he's' truly

[AfreeQueen]

sorry for hurting me. Now, you tell me what I did wrong to make him leave and you'll give him the booby prize..

Oh, and by the way, if you watch my videos, you can tell what kind of woman I am. I have subscribers who I dont' necessarily agree with, nor do they agree with me but yet, they know what kind of woman I am.

I'm non-confrontational. ( I dont' argue)..I dont' snap my neck (attitude), I don't belittle my black men, I don't nag, and I haven't had sex with anyone other than my ex

[AfreeQueen]

in the 14.5 years we were married. Now you tell me what I did wrong for him to leave and treat me the way he did?

Sorry... Pinkkelephant for taking over your comment board. lol I had to school someone right quick...I'll ease up a bit, okay? :) Thanks for letting me participate.

[AfreeQueen]

Also, we didn't argue throughout the entire marriage. It's a waste of time, especially when you could be doing other things. ... Awaiting your comments...

[fenderbass]

He was been tired.Trust me.But he knew you wouldn't know how to handle it.

[AfreeQueen]

What are you talking about? I just explained to you that the man cheated on me. I did nothing to deserve that. NO ONE deserves that treatement. He knew I wouldn't know how to handle what, exactly? I was his wife for 14.5 years.

[fenderbass]

14.5 years? Of course you stopped serving it up the way he like and he was too coward to tell you so.Cheating is one thing but was he committed to you?Now there's a difference.Women need to learn about that.

[AfreeQueen]

Nostradamas.... No, that's not it. lol I'm not perfect by a long shot but I assure you he was made love to every day ...if it wasn't straight bedroom action, he had me accausting him all over the house. He forever and a day got kisses from me. He was always touched by me and me by him. He cheated because he was selfish and greedy. Instead of councelling, he thought that cheating was a better answer to his problem. He no longer looked at me as a partner, but now it' was about him.

[fenderbass]

Yes we men are selfish when it comes to sex.But we are loyal.We have sex with other women but we'll stay with you.That's commitment.He left cuz he knew you would not understand that.He'd just rather be gone stay gone.He knew once you found out,you might kill him.There are so many things women dont understand about men.And they just keep hurting themselves in the process.

[AfreeQueen]

Now you're defending cheaters? If I had done that to him, you'd be singing another tune. It isn't hardwired in ALL men to cheat on their spouses or girlfriends just because they have a penis and no self-control.

I'm not willing to be second best or share my man with another woman. If I had stayed in the relationship just to keep him in my life, that would be too much like a doormat. You hate it when women act like that, why is it acceptable with men, in your opinion.

[fenderbass]

A would by nature a man would screwchix and come back to you and his kids.That's a commitment.A woman would screw around then have this mans kids calling her man daddy.That's women for you.

[AfreeQueen]

I really wonder what pinkk would have to say about your comment.

First though, commitment means never leaving to go to anyone else. Leaving the relationship just because "your penis told you to" is a punk move.

[fenderbass]

it's nature.deal with it.

[AfreeQueen]

It may be in YOUR nature, but no REAL man is going to cheat on his wife and then come back to her and the kids saying "Well, at LEAST I was committed to you!" Your logic is skewed.

[fenderbass]

in the world we live in,of course your right.but i'm talking about nature and the reality of what is actually happening everyday.everybody ask why why why?i'm telling you why.

[AfreeQueen]

Actually, there are men who disagree with you. I'm sure Pinkk would be one of the.

[Remedymp]

She's NOT that type of woman bro. She's actually the exception here. She wasn't a promiscuous woman and she was actually pretty domestic in the time of her relationship.

[grayhair33]

Brother I see the back and forth with you and AFREEQUEEN. First off how the hell ar you a QUEEN, that title has to be earned. You don't get it just cause you can reproduce. next A woman has the ultimate choice of who has sex with her. Most men will tell you or show you from the door if they are good fater material. Woen will use their wombs as an ATM machine, and to have the child as a barganing chip or tool. Take it as BASHING if you want I am telling how it is.

[AfreeQueen]

Tell me what warrants you to comment to me in this way? Did you read a comment where I said I want to take a brotha for his money or use my own children as a bargaining chip? Again, I really hate it when some of you don't read.

Also, what makes me a Queen is that I value myself, my life, my children and their lives.

[AfreeQueen]

For the next man, I'm willing to do what it takes to make him happy and learn what it takes to balance my parenting my daughters and pleasing my man. I believe in submitting in the relationship. The sad thing is that I have to explain this to men after I hear/read responses like yours.

[Demonio316]

Glad to see you got a decent mic.

Oh, and try using a water bong, it will help with the cough. :)

[1titans]

I think one of BM's biggest gripes with single mothers (i'm talking about us that have no children) is that there are so many of them, you can hardly find a sista to date that does not have any, oh, they are out there, But they themselves are in the process of getting knocked up by some ol bum of a brotha while I type this message.

I really just dont want a woman who another man has already spread his seed through, I dont want my kids to be born by a woman who has babies by more than one man,

[1titans]

Even if one of those men is me.

[pinkkelephant]

i hear you. its funny because other men from different ethnic backgrounds dont even have to worry about this. and i cant blame you for how u feel. the women have to understand that manhood is so many things but raising another man's child is an option that is not punishable if he declines to do so.

[Remedymp]

The BW who don't have kids know that they are an exclusive commodity to BM who are avoiding single mothers. The selection of BW are a very slim pickings for brothers today.

[wappahawlic]

Good vid man, I'm 19 and avoid single mothers. I want kids, but I want MY OWN not some neglected seed. I know it sounds bad but its just the truth, does anyone agree with me?

[pinkkelephant]

i sure will find some men that do. but as u age and just grow your feelings may or may not change. stay up.

[KomicGenius]

I had to favorite this one. Once again, wise, superior content, and intellectually sound advice.

You, my brother, are a rising force in this movement. Keep doing ya thing.

5 stars*****

[pinkkelephant]

thank you sir.

[AfreeQueen]

Then I guess I'm assed out then. No man for me. lol My kids are well-behaved, I don't go out partying and i don't act as if I don't have kids because my daughters are my heart, but there are dudes who won't want me because I have kids whether I was married when I had them or not. This is SO not fair.

I guess my criteria would be that my biological kids are ages 4, 12, and almost 14. (X) Their father will be in their lives (X) And the fact that I'm 35 and soon to be a single mother (X)

[AfreeQueen]

I guess I'll start dating again when my youngest daughter is 14...by then I'll be what... 45?

If this is what all black men think about black single mothers in general. Why should we waste our time trying to find someone to spend our time/lives with?

I know what's going to be said... "There is a difference! You were Married!" there isn't a difference, actually because no matter what, the first thing a man would assume about me is the worst. Great.

[pinkkelephant]

afreequeen your kids age may or maynot be an issue. it depends on the guy. that is what i said. the video was not talking about absolutes. i talked about what we factor in when dealing with yall.

[AfreeQueen]

Its still sad. In the end, it's not going to matter whether I have my stuff together or not, or whether my kids are well-behaved. I'm still in the statistic of single black mothers. Don't take the tone of this post wrong,l will do anything for my daughters to grow up unaffected by what happens in the black community... it's just unfortunate that I can expect that a man would look at me sideways because he likes me but hates kids, or he'll be jealous because the kids come first, or he's ....

[AfreeQueen]

..afraid of the children's father. (Or won't want to deal with him...)

[pinkkelephant]

their are some crazy black men out there. dont do us like that.

[AfreeQueen]

Then I should have been on the look-out when I married my ex who had 2 children before we married. (Not really...) I'm actually best friends with one of my stepdaughters' mothers. I ignore the other one and felt no fear of her coming after me or interloping in the relationship. I was always secure in the relationship.

[pinkkelephant]

its not about jealousy though. he expects you to care for yours first. but he still has his needs that need to be met and if you cant do that you ant fault him for not going further with you.

[AfreeQueen]

It's not about not being able to meet his needs. I'm sure I could give a man what he needs and see to the needs of my girls first but I don't want to be held under a microscope and picked apart like the women who don't care (in these situations) and just had a baby by everyone. THAT isn't fair.

See, it isn't that much difference between me and a single mother who has never been married.

[pinkkelephant]

i think there is. my mother is divorced. but she was married for 20+ . there is a difference between a women who got knocked up and a women who was married and had planned families.

[AfreeQueen]

The ONLY difference is that we were married and the other women with children aren't/ weren't.

[pinkkelephant]

now u know that not to be true. dont give black women that were outta control that pass afreequeen. there situation is not yours. but let them take your identity. they were acting reckless and dealing with reckless men.

[AfreeQueen]

Of course there is the fact that one of us made the decision to get married to a good man and they picked random men. What I'm *bitter* now about is the fact that no matter what, once a man hears you have a kid, they almost NEVER think you may have been married. They think you're the stereotypical single mother who is looking for a father for their children, and looking to get into their pockets. It makes me scared to even look for someone else.

[pinkkelephant]

do you think older black men would feel that way. i mean all i can do is speak for younger black men under the age of 30. i cant really speak of men over 36 or so. i mean what u say seems to be true for men in my category.

[AfreeQueen]

Actually, Kaptansolo feels the same way you youngins do. He feels that he would only date a woman with kids if they were grown and out of the house which would leave the couple to do things without having to go through different changes. (Baby sitter, etc.)

Ksolo is in his early 40's.

It's going to take a while before I can roll like that.

[pinkkelephant]

but it is up to you to show that the perception of the single mother with wild children is myth in YOUR case. I am a family oriented dude myself. so i know what it is like to be in a family that works.

[AfreeQueen]

Sure, showing and proving isn't my problem. My problem is that there is an ill perception at all. For instance, I met someone a couple of days ago at the bus stop on my way home. He asked if I was married...I told him "in the middle of a divorce"...he asked for my number and I resisted until we boarded the bus and sat down. During that time I told him that I'm a mother and it didn't deter him. He called me later on and then I found out that the only thing he wanted from me was to sleep with me.

[AfreeQueen]

It doesn't solidify my fear of getting in to a relationship with a man who hates kids (in general) or women with kids. But it proved a theory I heard ringing through the lines of Youtube... "Single mothers! black men will only want you just to f*** you..."

[pinkkelephant]

okay but afreequeen if i said black women only want successful black men purely for the money u would be quick to tell me otherwise. and u would say that not all are like that even though the majority that i met have been like that.

[AfreeQueen]

Like I said, my experience doesn't solidify my fear of getting into relationship with men like that. It's just scary, that's all. I know not all are like that,I'm just frustrated that it's going to be that much harder to find someone who will look at me who won't think this way right after they hear "I have kids." I'm SO not ready to date.

[blkskin1]

sista unfortunately your options are just as limited as the men without children. you may find a man who wants kids and cant have any, but even within this you must be careful of the weirdos..dont be dismayed you are not the enemy its just the females who are reckless who make it bad for real women. I wish you all of The G-d's grace and mercy, if it is his will..peace

[AfreeQueen]

I have an update, of sorts... I met and have found myself interested in someone who doesn't think of me as a money-grubbing single mother. He's someone I already knew and one of those guys "right under my nose". We're not rushing into anything but we have made ourselves clear about what we require of each other..and trust me (Grayhair33) neither of us factored in how much he'll be giving me because I don't need him for his money. I just need someone who isn't going to play games with my heart.

[pinkkelephant]

one man.

[1titans]

Kaptonsolo is married to a woman who already had kids. But he also said when he was younger he always met women who already had children