Rifftrax´s 300 -- My fav scenes

[xPurpleDrinkx9001]

5:58

How does he masterbate? or pee?

[Athlynne]

"KNEEL before the soundtrack!"

[HarmlessVampire13]

Kevin's laugh makes everything better : )

[SickBritKid]

March, men, to the music of Nine Daectaylos Nails!

[SAOrules]

*rests hands on shoulders* "Mmmmmm, your sooo tense!" I almost died laughing!

[SkylineofStorm2]

"How tacky!" i about died...

[elvaelvirababe]

oh sthuper~

[Mst3kfanatic1]

In the real thermopylae pass it would have been impossible to get an elephant on there, we actually looked at some of the false stuff in this movie in my history class.

[femoman]

@Mst3kfanatic1 Yet, many of the Spartan one-liners were true, such as Gorgo's quip about only spartan women giving birth to real women, casting the persion emissaries down a well to get the "earth and water" themselves, the whole fighting in the shade thing...everything except THIS IS SPARTA, that was made up...

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@femoman i never said the lines werent real i said many of the battle stuff wasnt like the elephants.

[idugupthegrave]

How tacky! :O

[EmilyGreene1984]

"Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Moore". ROFL

[medfry]

300 is an epic movie.. and this is an epic voice over

[GoldenCenturion]

They turned to their magic...to their Ku Klux Pimps!

[gnackattack]

this is really shit

[zambimaru]

"I will give you copper lip gloss"  LOL!!

[cmurphy2826]

"And guess what? I forgot me Thorazine today!"

[TheRaffleTube]

(Gasp) how tacky!

[GixxxerKim]

:39 YES

[illuminatioracle]

Sparta: scourge of low level functionaries everywhere.

[00Petulia00]

I still can't figure out why they made Xerxes look like a bedazzled bondage slave in this movie. Also, his eyebrows disturbed me.

[InvisibleSquid]

@00Petulia00 I can't figure out how this entire movie is so overtly, super duper gay and yet it's consider some bad ass action movie. And they even left out the part where all the Greek men fuck each other after battle! It should have just been called 300 Cocks in Asses.

[SageVallant]

@InvisibleSquid Kill enough people in slo-mo and it doesn't matter how gay you appear to be.

[mst3k4evur]

@SageVallant

Believe it or not, this is toned down compared to the comic. 

[ChillyUK77]

'Why are you Scottish?... Why are you English? wait why is everyone English we're in Greece for god sake, eh I mean for god's sake'

[CivicD]

ha you must learn to take a hit lmfao meet the spartans

[LithiumLogica]

Every time I see the scene where they're all ducking behind their shields while arrows rain down on them... I hear Bill, in my head, giving a deadpan delivery of, "I fail to see the humor in the situation, BOB."

[davedaveydave]

his teeth are bleached and capped

[6Darkrose9]

2:56

DUCKTALES! WOOOO!

It is stuck in your head now. I know it. I feel it.

[halfmanhalfmetal]

I had no idea I could be so disturbed a by a simple beard until I saw this movie. There's something so unsettling about Leonidis's beard. It's like the essence of rape fashioned into facial hair.

[WhiteTiger225]

We have crappy CG and Adobe Movie Maker..... LETS MAKE A MOVIE!

[carringtonc79]

"i will give you copper lipgloss"

[carringtonc79]

for greeks, they're surprisingly hairless

[ignoranus1]

@desmo246 I realized this right after I posted my comment and felt massively stupid. It's cool that they're still going.

[sharkboy85]

"... and guess what, I forgot mah thorazine today!"

[DeviDecay]

You had me at "Hurray for boiled skulls!"

[ignoranus1]

reminds me of mst3k

[illuminatioracle]

the old ones say we spartans descend from hercules himself...the wussy kevin sorbo version.

[Btothecc1]

"HORRAY FOR BOILED SKULLS!" greatest line ever

[Hyro]

In case anybody wants to know the joke about the rabbit and the bear:

A rabbit and a bear are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No". So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

[VRMorrigon]

8:18 haha

[WhiteTiger225]

with how much props and style they lifted from "Twisted Fairytales" and "Pan's Labyrinth" I have to wonder where this movie's budget went? That rhino CG was bloody horrible XD

[Nixel85]

what is the point of Disembodio?

[Damiel317]

@Nixel85 From time to time, he chimes in with a line at the same time a character says it. That way, the listener can know if their Rifftrax is properly synched up to the DVD.

[uiopytrre]

10 people missed the like button

[WhiteTiger225]

@uiopytrre "His helmet was stifeling, it narrowed his vision, and he needed to see far" I think those 10 people told the movie makers how narrowing your vision lowered the distance forward you can see. :p

[randomguy199545]

lol loved the LOTR reference at 6:26

[throbbin87]

Xerxes and Jimmy Buffet!! LOL!! OMG!!

[throbbin87]

WHY ARE YOU SCOTTISH!! LOL!!

[cj397]

3:14 LOL

[cj397]

@homebuiltindoorplane mst3k was around when the movie 300 came out?

[cj397]

@homebuiltindoorplane NO dumbass, i've been a fan of mst3k since 93.

you must be talking about RIFFTRAX.

NOT MST3k

[cj397]

@homebuiltindoorplane nah, i was the first one to see your comment guaranteed

[cj397]

@homebuiltindoorplane Lmao got me figured out? so how i type on the internet is me i guess. you seem to be bothered by my correction.

[newsy214]

6:20 LMAO!!

[MopHeadReplies]

rofl "Enjoy my golden package!"

[MortonGoldthwait]

why is the triforce one his cloak!?!

[Dune1884]

6:09 hey look! its Gabe Newell!

[kuribayashi84]

"They counting on the Spartans not having an Elf!" LOL!!!!

[JayMoreProductions]

3:52 lol

[dilps]

His roar is long and loud, his teeth are bleached and capped!

[dilps]

This is a good one to make your own, like Sparta used Rage! But it failed...

[belladonna4577]

"how! how? we just push them, it's simple physics." rofl@3:19 "whee! whoopee! whoo hoo! it's fun, bodies!" "mmm, you're so tense." "oh no it's turning into one of these!" kevin-"bom chicka wow wow" "oh he is divine!" "ham alert! ham alert! AH! AH! AH!" "i really feel like an idiot in this thing doyle." "i'm going to feel this in the morning!" "so he was holding those between his butt cheeks?" "i want a BETTER uniform." "enjoy my golden package!" "how tacky!"

[IronGums]

"Sparta: Scourge of harmless low-level functionaries everywhere."

[Atrum]

"What we were shaved to do"! ahahaha!

[WhiteTiger225]

300.. a movie with about as much historical accuracy as Lord of The Rings XD

[HowlingWolf518]

"Counting on the Spartans not having an elf" ROFL.

[rsmandudeguy]

4:20 how does he shave? lol

[demboys18]

..."I don't know, think a 7 will do?" LOL

[47goody]

hahahahahahaha 3:13-3:22

[Crayshack]

"I forgot me thorazine today!"

"To their Klu Klux Pimps."

"Kneel before the soundtrack!"

[emokidzSUCKit]

"And so, xerxes and jimmy buffet assembled the largest boat to boat party in the history.. "

[PyrozPlayground]

Can someone tell me what tha hell it is about the creepy higher voices like the one at 2:11?

[PifferyGear]

Its a device used to help resync the rifftrax to the movie in case it desyncs. The voice is DisembAudio.

[PyrozPlayground]

Damn thank you. Finally. I thought I was losing it. lol

[Grissbane]

@PyrozPlayground thats disembodio its to make sure that the audio track is synced with the rest of the movie.

[aliceofhearts]

"How tacky!"

[sortedevaras]

"They turned to their Klu Klux Pimps."

[METALkaiser27]

messenger: earth and water.

rifftrax: So, mud?

LOL!!! classic

[AL52Dragon]

Okay I can take some weirdness but at 5:12 and 5:54 that just makes Persia look like a mix of Mordor and Tim Burton's Wonderland. I mean what in the hell are those things?

[scallywag86]

"want a beer kid?"

Actually, part of the spartan birth rituals was to dunk the infant in wine. Unintentional history knowledge for the win!

[abaraiRenji3]

@scallywag86 even butlers Scottish accent fits in. the Brits would translate Greek plays and they would use a Scottish accent to stand in for a spartan accent. after all accent jokes are ancient tradition.

[JetBlackNero]

@scallywag86 if meet the spartans is anything to go by, they also dropkicked disabled babies, and if it was an asian kid, brangelina had dibs. x)

[mst3KGf]

"So this whole big ruse was to kill some minor spokesman, the Persian Scott McClellan?"

"Sparta, scourse of harmless low-level functionaries everywhere!"

"Yeah, he's aiming for the guy down the road who does light filing for the Persians."

I bust a gut hearing those.

[purpleshamrock17]

"Horray for boiled skulls!"

"earth and water...so, mud"

"I will give you copper lip gloss"

"they turn to their magic...to their Klu Klux pimps"

"Kneel before the soundtrack! Submit to it!"

[Btothecc1]

@purpleshamrock17 ENJOY MY GOLDEN PACKAGE! YUMMY!

[iscream22]

Why are you Scottish? lol

[NarniaFan88]

"I've fought countless times, oh ok 11"

[JohnWonYeo]

How?! how? we pushed them off a cliff it's simple physics, what do you mean how? ROFl

[aptspire]

so nothing good with TIS! ?

[drambuierocks]

blogtv is now running mst3k 24/7

[ilikethecoke]

Remember, first fight with your head, then your heart... then your left butt cheek

[ackbarfan5556]

Gerald Butler was in Phantom of The Opera as the Phantom. He hung a guy from the platforms above the stage and the guy fell, hung in front of everyone like a pirate. It would have been funny if he yelled "THIS. IS. OPERA!"

[PaperbackWizard]

"Such an offer, only a madman would refuse."

"And guess what? I forgot me thorazine today!"

[sirweeze]

I still can't get over McNulty in 300

[MissJajja]

"I will give you cover lipgloss" lmao!

[bastianskaye]

"PlotplotPLOTplotplotplotWHIZZ­ZZ." LOL

[SuperGreenGuy]

LMAO

[h0bbitatheart]

I love 1:20, because I remember having the same thought when I was watching "300" in the theater

[nosorab3]

How sthuper!

[moodysoup]

"Um, why are you Scottish?"

*falls over*

[Windclaw]

"Kneel before the soundtrack! SUBMIT TO IT!"

[Rizza2k4]

....and the bear picks up the rabbit....! You got to have Gary tell it

[FoxLady2]

How TACKY!

[MicahSps]

"Why are you Scottish?"

[overkill78]

Ku Klux Pimps got me.

[ssx34944]

the twilight riffrax is funny

[Rizza2k4]

Hurray for boiled skulls!

[codafett]

I like all the LOTRs references

[missingastarclancat]

"i will give you copper lipgloss" bahahaha

[TheDeviousMango]

HOORAY for boiled skulls!!!

[KnightofDuroch]

"Ladies & gentlemen, Michael Moore!"

[commiebobo]

so... mud.

[mejasond]

"I want a better uniform!"

ROFLMFAO!

[jamminjago]

one of the few easter eggs i actually noticed in a movie, his uniform is the same uniform that the immortals wear in "the 300 spartans"

[d2eux]

"I'm just an intern sir, you dont have to kill me" LOL

[powerofktulu]

"Cocktails? WTF?"

lolololol

[GrigoriPechenka]

6:02 - "You're kiddin', right?"

[aliceofhearts]

"Enjoy my golden package!

. . .

Yummy."

[Buzzygirl42]

"How tacky!"

[Falcondust]

"Mmm, you're sooooo tense. Mmm."

That line always make me laugh.

[JoshShaps]

"Earth and water."

So, mud.

[violentautopsy80]

*gasp* How tacky!...

[katcummings]

I've come to watch this again and again just for the "how tacky!" part. Makes me cry with laughter every time.

[theMAG101]

"Joan Rivers!"

Holy crap, he really does look a lot like her in that scene (except darker).

[stormshadow227]

And so xerxes and jimmy buffet assblem the largest boat to boat party in histroy

[YahtzeeNazi]

There's a part that wasn't included where Kevin Murphy/Servo repeatedly suggests that Ephialtes be used as a psychological weapon against the Persians by by "going to a high ridge, drop trow, and dangle his deformed wedding tackle" while Bill/Crow and Mike beg for him to stop.

[BardWraith]

Ku Klux Pimps...lol!

[SchlockValue]

this is a video, and this is my comment.

[Oppledeldoc]

Murphy really got a kick out of the others' jokes!

[textthing]

"...even a king's messenger is held accountable for the words of his voice." Did I really hear that line, or was it a nightmare?

[SchlockValue]

Yeah....if by "bashed" you mean "compared him to a rhino". Brilliant political statement. Anyway, nice job mike and the "bots", Rifftrax rocks faces.

[AmericanBadass44]

Woohoo! They bashed Michael Moore!

[newm123]

I will make you war lord of all greece, i will give you copper lip gloss LMAO!

[BigFatFailureTurtle]

"Joan Rivers!"

[TheUnhappyMeduim99]

So whats the gayest movie of all time?

[thereefshark]

"Um, why are you Scottish?"

[halfmanhalfmetal]

Awesome. This movie deserved every bit of that. 300 is the second gayest movie all time.

[DenOfVipers]

Why did everyone thumbs-down this comment? Buncha shirtless dudes running around in leather underwear and capes? The only thing gayer is fighter pilots playing volleyball in speedos, dogger.

[choc113]

@halfmanhalfmetal Top gun being the gayest I assume? I think all the American guys really LOVED that one too. Though if American girls are like that dreary bitch in Twilight I cant really blame them:(

[halfmanhalfmetal]

@choc113 No. Actually Fight Club is the gayest movie of all time. It was somehow more homoerotic than actual gay porn.

[MaxamillionGat]

@halfmanhalfmetal bullshit, the only part of that entire movie that can be construed as gay is the part in the bathroom where pitt says "I'm wondering if another woman is really the thing we need."

and that line basically means "We're so fucked up, mentally, physically, and morally, do we really need the (for lack of a better word) 'bullshit' that a woman would bring to the table right now?"

i read the book, and believe me, that story is more about fucking the establishment, than sexuality...

[halfmanhalfmetal]

@MaxamillionGat That's the only part? You don't remember the part where Ed Norton is panting heavily as he sits on that blond guy's chest as he's pounding away on his face and then he licks his lips and says "I wanted to destroy something beautiful." There's only 2 places where something like THAT happens: prison and gay prison.

[xxbathorygrlxx]

"ah, relax they're probably not ment for us." "besides i think it's nothing more than Crebain from Dunland"

lmao lotr refrence

[lizarddude11]

also "xerxes is hoping the spartans dont have an elf"

[typacsk]

"Ah forgot me thorazine today!"

Remind anyone else of something Groundskeeper Willie would say?

[devildogkelley]

His eyebrows are bushy..his pores are oily........ I Lost it lmfao!

[h0bbitatheart]

I love the "Earth, water" "So, mud?" bit, because when I saw the movie in the theater I had the same thought. Love Rifftrax!

[ninjast4r]

I've gotta buy this. I thought 300 was tacky and lame, but with Rifftrax, I can actually enjoy it! Thanks Rifftrax!

[GilliannotGilligan]

"Lick my salty thigh..." I saw this with my boyfriend and he pointed at the screen and said, "yeah, what he said!" XP

[1Sargon0]

Now that I think of it, have you noticed how the most despicable characters in this movie are the ones with the most clothes on? (Except for Xerxes...Christ, the ruler of most sophisticated civilization of the ancient world is depicted as a S&M performer!)

[BitchinnShoes07]

0:20 What the hell does nice batch mean?

[1Sargon0]

She's praising the duds groin.

[BitchinnShoes07]

..batch?

[tritiumH3]

Huh... I just noticed that Theron is McNulty from The Wire. How about that.

[timeparadox]

URL in the "more info" has malformed id, just an FYI

[nagaking07]

(Laughs)

"Why do you smile?"

Well Gary told a joke about a rabbit and a bear.

Chops off General's head.

"Im going to feel this in the morning"

[88Sublime96]

Ahahahahahaha agreewejhgsidhgasd

[raineandrews]

"To their Ku Klux Pimps.."

[zerodragon9]

whenever Leonidas screams during a battle, I always go "FOR SCOTLA--- uh... I mean, FOR SPARTAAAA!!!"

[queentellera]

XD that is TOO funny! LOL

[irish77777man]

they turned to there magic,there ku klux pimps

lol

[FredY2C]

"March men, to the music of Nine Dactylos Nails!"

and

"Kneel before the soundtrack! Submit to it!"

best ones!

[mattdogg65]

"I will give you copper lip gloss" hahahahah that made me laugh so hard

[ninjawraith17]

"My little whore queen."

"I am not little!"

[taiyo888]

"Sparta. Scourge of harmless low-level functionaries everywhere."

[hiswork2009]

3:29 Esther marries this asshole in the bible?

[luvcraft78]

"I will give you copper lip gloss."

[Brangoth4]

wtf is with moments like 2:12 and crap?

[MissCinny]

If you've ever actually listened to a RiffTrax all the way through, you'd hear that all the time. It's something to ensure you're synced up with the commentary, considering you have to play the movie seperately.

[lightinthestars]

do do do do do do do do DIE