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From: justagurl23
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  • lol im neally anerexic XD

  • Oh my god, everything you said described EXACTLY what i went through as well.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  • Thank you for sharing such a personal experience.

  • I am sorry If I didnt explain what this problem seems to be for soe doctors, it develops in adolescence, where all the hormonal problems beguin it could be a brain function that is the trouble then stop eating, doctors are studying if this is something in the brain, hormonal a quimical process is not in their will to give solution to her anorexia. If you look in the mirror and you are thin and you look yourself fat, it is a serious distorsion, well it will be discover the cause of this trouble

  • @alyngrace123 in most cases it has nothing to do with what you are talking about actually. stress, trauma, etc. are pretty much the main factors. they are triggered by things in someone's life and not eating is a coping skill to deal with the emotional issues...it isn't some kind of hormone thing or tumor, etc. maybe in rare cases they can be something like that, but not in most cases..and just because a doctor says things doesn't mean they are right just because they are a doctor.

  • i belive they affect there brain and they are paranoid esquizofrenia

  • @alyngrace123 what???? what the heck are you talking about?

  • I have slowed down on eating as I gained too much weight with meds and I have not eaten for 2 days and feel good but not sure if I am becoming anerexic, I am male and almost 400 lbs so I cant see the harm in not eating right now but would like others to write me and share if this is ok or not, what can you take for pills to keep from eating or is that unwise, I am lost and confused and seeking some for on help, a pros and cons and I can only really see the pros right now, I can control my eating

  • @nhoverhaulinfan2 first of all, you are not anorexic after just two days of not eating much......second, you would be better to actually eat six small meals a day, healthy foods, not junk foods...drink water, take vitamins..and exercise a little..go for walks. that is what i suggest to most people who either want to lose weight and actually ARE overweight. or find a dietcian and talk to a doctor..but stay away from pills.

  • thanks for your video. the spirit of Silvio Berlusconi is the reason that anorexia and so on feel and look fat when we try to eat and look in the mirror. It is a spirit rape tyranny secret society. Good luck

  • @curesriches i don't understand what you mean..and i probably don't want to try. who the heck is silvio...and what does that have to do with me? actually, my issue with anorexia came about from a medication, not the spirit of anyone....

  • You look so much better now, congrats on ur recovery.

  • Hey...you look better in this video...What have you been doing?? Seriously...have you got a boyfriend?

  • @hotandspicy666 what did i do? i got help and went into treatment after trying to kill myself because i couldn't get help locally, and a really awesome person i barely knew at the time is to thank. not sure if you are implying if a boyfriend was what helped me or if you were just asking if i had one.

  • You are a brave and beautiful young girl, Thank you for trying to help others who are sick with this disease.

  • you are a good example to all of those girlz out there i wish you the best and hope you have happy long life!!!

  • What goes around comes around...and you are giving a huge gift to the world by focusing on your recovery. It will surely come back to you in a ton of ways. I wish you the best.  You deserve to be well. Your courage is inspiring.

  • @JFM135 thank you

  • @blazinbleezies

    Are you serious????? How can you say something so immature and ignorant?! Why don't you grow up and show some compassion for someone who was willing to share their story about an actual illness they have. You're the one who is a weak minded piece of shit if that's the way you really think. How pathetic.

  • @BossJoss5 just to let you know, that person you responded to is a regular youtube harasser who opens up various accounts and posts similar comments to a lot of ppl. i've gotten used to it, and it's pathetic, so please, do not worry about it. people like that just make me pity them and laugh at their ignorance. thank you though. things like that once used to get to me, but not anymore.

  • ...You are ill, but You are strong aswell...

    Well done my friend!

  • Hey Ashley, I know this is an old video but I am just watching it now. I didn't know that your ED also started after meds made u gain weight. That's how my ED started...So weird....Maybe docs need to rethink some things or do something. If we could only save a few girls and women from this disease , it's worth it.....

  • im strugelling from the same thing and im scared :( i dont know what to do x

  • if you haven't found someone to talk, i would suggest doing that because it will only get worse. it can get better.

  • I'm praying for you! You're an angel for inspiring other people to stop and telling us what it is like! You're beautiful. Thanks

  • She looks like Rinoa from Final Fantasy 8.

  • (I read these, just so you know) :)

  • I think you're an inspiration and you've really helped me understand the depths of the illness. Good luck with everything. Enjoy the next chapter of your life... an intelligent, articulate, beautiful young lady.... how exciting to think what adventures await you. Enjoy xx

  • You've made a lot of progress since you made this video. Well done.

  • i have been through wat you have been through..u can talk to me whenever!!! U R NOT ALONE!

  • you are super brave and so strong and i hope that you completely recover and become healthy again, i wish you the best of luck

  • you are very beautiful and i think you are very brave for telling your story. I appreciate your honesty and hopefully people suffering from eating disorders will listen to your words. Stay strong and god bless you.

  • i would just like to say well done for being in recovery and i wish you all the best for the future xxxx

  • Thank you for sharing. I am a male anorexic and I know some of your pain. Good for you to get better!

  • there is a girl in my college who I think has a very serious eating disorder. she has no friends, and I would really like to help her in some way, but I barely know her, and I don't know what could I do. any advice?

  • you could try to be her friend, but don't tell her you think she has an eating disorder. you could maybe help her if she ever feels like talking about it, if it is the case. i wouldn't suggest outright asking her because if she does, she probably wouldn't admit it and it wouldn't be a good idea. they are very secretive and if anyone feels like they are in danger of 'losing the only control they have' , the reaction would be to shut you out. just let her know you care, in general.

  • Thank you so much for your honesty and bravery in sharing your story. It's hard and it's scary and I am glad to know that I am not alone in the fight against it. Thank you!

  • Keep holding on =)

  • i was exactly like you. i understand completely. ive rcovered now, because i realised i didnt want to be like this anymore..i know you can do it your a beautifull girl. be strong and dnt listen to anybody coz they're full of shit and dont undersatnd anything.

    goodluck i hope you feel much better. you will be happy soon

  • I was afraid I'd gain weight too,when I was put on seroquel.. 0_0

  • me too!

  • Same here D:

  • you have come such a long way and i am very proud of you. keep smiling and living each day to the fullest :-D

  • thank you for posting this. with all the pro-ana shit on youtube, it's hard to find inspirational/educational vids. thank you for your help.

  • Thank you for being strong enough to make this video. As one who struggles with an eating disorder (bulimia), I really admire your courage and how well spoken you are about this.

    You are a remarkable and beautiful person.

    Again, thank you for making and posting the video.

  • YOUR verey beutiful u should be proud of ur boady and buety

  • You're a really beautiful and sweet girl I'm glad you're getting better and i hope you have a great future ahead of you

  • Your a very beautiful young lady, and it's wonderful that your being open with your problems. I can never understand anorexia, but I do know how it's like to feel horrible about myself, and I still do. But I keep in mind that hurting myself in order to fit in is a mistake. Good luck!

  • Because eventually you'll realize that in your own way, you are beautiful! Please get better!

  • thank you so much for doing this video! ...i suspect my friend might be anorexic and watching your video really helped me understand what it may be like from her point of view. I did read up about it online but i wanted to hear someones story, like yours, just so i can be the best friend i can be be. I'm still deciding whether to ask her if she is anorexic cuz if she is i don't want her to fade away and leave us anytime soon, but if i do ask, now i'll understand better what its like for her.

  • Please keep doing your best!...

  • hope you get well/ better, ( not sure what phrase to use)

  • I'm not trying to say anything demeaning. Did you know that when you "starve" yourself. Your metabolism slows down, thus when you come out of the eating disorder it will make you gain wait alot easier.

  • yes i do know that..and many other things related to ED's, as I have gone through one..obviously..and have read whatever i can get my hands on about the body, mind, and everything ED related. thanks though...and actually, i have not gained weight. after treatment (almost a year now) i have lost most of what i gained, not on purpose. a lot of anorexics have a super high metabolism, so to maintain a healthy weight, they have to eat MORE than the average person their height/weight.

  • I saw some of your older videos and I just saw this one. You look alive and healthy. Whatever you are doing, keep it up.

  • you're gorgeous hun. stay strong :) i really feel for you

  • Lemme say right off the bat, you're a beautiful girl, by anyone's standards. I know anorexia isn't something you can turn on and off, but I just want you to know you're definately attractive. You also seem really nice, like you don't have a mean bone in your body. I really hope you're doing well, and you keep your body at a healthy weight. The best of luck to you. :)

  • yuo are soo strong doing that!

    i have anorexia ann the things you were saying was just what i think too.its nice too know that.

    i think people do need to be eduated on it. i keep it a secret at school ann stuf.just some ofmy friends no an i hate it if someone makes a comment bout it.

    thank you for doing that ann keep going xxxx

  • its really hard to get over anorexia... youre always thinking about your weight feellinng gulity for eating, wanting to be the skinnest it really ruins your life i drove my parents crazy and when i gaind a gram of fat i would runn around hoping to burn it

  • As with many problems it's hard for people who don't have the problem to understand. For example one might say to an alcoholic. "Just don't drink". But it's not that simple. A lot of people are afraid of what they don't understand. I don't look at you with pity. I don't understand it. But I've been watching your videos and absorbing as much information as I can. *hugs*

  • Im so proud of you to put a video diary of you online! :). Ive been anorexic for 2 years and i wouldnt be able to do that good luck in your recovery and youll go all the way!

  • I am glad she came out of this and made a video, but one thing I can`t understand is she wants to help people but didn`t like people looking at her as though something were wrong with her. I`m speaking from a nonED perspective and when I see ED it is a VERY scary sight to see. I don`t tell someone to eat a hamburger but I wish they would. I think if society looks at ED as normal then it would only encourage them to do it more. It`s very abnormal so it is only normal to be shocked by it.

  • yes i understand ED's are abnormal and scary to see someone who is noticeably affected by one. ED's mess with your head in a lot of ways. i knew i looked i sick and i hate attention to begin with, so no, i didn't and do not like being stared at no matter if i'm sick with an ED or healthy.

    it's also a matter of feeling ashamed and embarrassed about how far down i had gotten and not being able to undo it on my own.

  • After 2. world war American scientists put some healthy young men on a starvation diet for a long time. It was a test to find out what starvation did to the body in different ways. The interesting thing is that these guys experienced ALL of the symptoms associated with anorexia: depression, mood swings, hyperactivity, obsessing about body image, excessive physical exercise, shrinking of vital organs; heart, liver, kidneys, lungs and a long recovery proses to grow strong and healthy again.

  • yes. if i recall right, that was the minnesota study. i read about that a few yrs. ago as well as in my group recently.

  • girl u have made a huge step on ur and many girls life...

    i congratulate u

  • Good luck...I am sure your video will help many young women in your position!

  • I don't know you and we're probably the same age, but I'm very proud of you. That's an incredibly gutsy thing to do, putting that video on here. I think it will help a lot of people.. Good for you, girl!

  • you are so beautiful , putting up these and talking to us must help you and i really hope it does, i only had a short spell of not eating only lasted a few month until my mother took me to a clinic to scare me, i still get the thoughts thoug and have just watch a billion proanas but now listing to you i feel back on top of realising how it can mess with you , you have an amazing face shape ( odd thing to say i know but you do )

    thank you , xxx

  • i hope you can stay strong and stay away from toxic things like pro-ana/mia stuff. you are worth so much more than being pulled into that crap.

  • thank you, but yes it is hard. add me people would love to talk ! xxxx peace out

  • Good luck sweetie you are so brave, be strong we love you!

  • Good Luck With Everything Hunny

    You Are Really Beautifull And You Are So Brave To Talk About Your Anorexia To People On Here

    I Wish I Could Do The Same xx

    Good Luck With Getting Better xx

  • God bless you girl

  • Well done. It was very brave to be so honest online about your illness like that. I wish I could do the same. Good luck. I admire your courage.

  • you are very beautiful, keep trying

  • gurl i no u could have beat it i luv my strong sisters who stay strong!!

  • Thank god you look better than february!! Take care, best wishes!!

  • may god bless you,you are very beautiful,your in my prayers.

  • Thank, God bless you

  • i saw some of your older videos. you look amazing here. you have a glow. good luck with getting better. =]

  • Thank you so much for sharing,

    it will help other peole

    i hope you get better :)

    best wishes

  • Very well done with this video. I had anorexia badly for over 20 years and although I'm now weight recovered I have permanent physical disabilities. Anorexia is about regulating emotions through regulating food intake, exercise and weight. When trapped in anorexia eating creates such panic that it becomes impossible. Anorexia is a terrible trap and not something anyone ever chooses to have.

  • good video. :)

  • This is very courageous of you to post a video on utube. thank you. While I understand some of the negative comments others have wrote, they do not understand that no-one is perfect and we all have our own faults. heck im not perfect...But I do agree that it is a lifestyle factor and we have hollywood and media to thank for that! this could be avoided!!!

  • it doesn't always start from the media though..although at some point, the media does become a part of it.

    they def. don't help when we try to be healthy...we get told being fat is bad...but being 'average' doesn't make us stand out...so we try to be BETTER..

  • they will all get what is coming to them one day.

    i just feel sorry for them, for being so mean..it's sad.

    their comments don't hurt, because i know what the truth is..and they don't.

  • This video is great. Thank you.

  • actually, anorexia, bulimia, or any other eating disorder, is not an actual DISEASE...it is a symptom of emotional/psychological issues. they are trying to redefine it so people maybe understand what they are.

    it's all about emotions and ways of coping..that comes out as food/weight/body related if a person does not know how to express, or cope with hard feelings/events.

    do you understand yet?

  • Yes, I may have the other problem. Sometimes I eat when I'm not actually hungry or just board. I've often suspected that my overeating had something to do with emotions or the lack of dealing with them.

  • this was such a great video! people bashing it, obviously don't know what they are talking about. i know a few people with eating disorders, and its a struggle. i hope you get the help you need and start to feel better :) <3muchlove.

  • I hope you get better...

  • sorry you had to go through that and that you have to deal with some of the idiots here on youtube! god bless you!

  • Good video, you are putting yourself in a vulnerable spot, and I have much respect for that. Take care.

  • at the risk of sounding serrious for once, its good to see these kind of videos its a good use of the medium. But yeah i had two friends with anorexia, one a girl who it became a habbit and one was a guy which i understand to be pretty rare (he wasnt even gay!). He choked badly one day and then just kind of stopped eating one day.

    I just wanted to say i've got a lot of respect for you guys from a personal perspective.

  • thank you.

  • my pleasure :)

  • Although I don't know what sickness and symptom the eating disorder is ,from what u say I know u are deeply in this trouble.I hope u adjust your mind and find a way to recover as soon as possible.take care.best wishes.

  • cheer up!! I believe u can overcome it!

  • I like how you tell how you fell when you must eat and al the aother things

    take care

  • well, done....take care

  • I really admire how brave you are to share this with others. My prayers are with you girl. ^.^ You CAN overcome it! Even if I don't know you...if you're strong enough to share your story when so many ppl can judge you and see it....I know u must be strong enough to overcome this. <3 Good luck!

  • I know what you mean =/

    <3.

  • I think it is wonderful that you are sharing your experience with others. You are such a lovely young woman and I hope you can overcome this completely and have joy and peace. Best wishes.

  • You are a beautiful young person, please believe that, and know that you can only remain beautiful in mind, body, and spirit if you are healthy. Listen to those who care about you, because in your state of mind you can't trust yourself. This time of the year I miss one of great singing talents who ever lived, Karen Carpenter. Her eating disorder killed her. The world can't afford to lose you too. All the best.

  • over the years, i have had people tell me that i looked like karen carpenter. it freaked me out..i do not intend to let any illness i deal with, kill me. i do not want to go out like that..i'll fight as much as i can.

  • I don't understand why you wouldn't just eat when you got hungry enough. Not being a smart ass I genuinely don't understand how that would work. But good luck. You are courageous.

  • it isn't easy to understand. thank you for not being a jerk and admitting you don't understand. most people would probably just say people with an eating disorder are stupid or crazy. it's very much about emotions and the way people learn to cope with things.

  • Honey, I understand how you say you just couldn't get yourself to eat when you're hungry... that's also a sign of depression, which could be a result of your eating disorder. Good Luck and God Bless!

  • When a person is in emotional pain, or is otherwise emotionally or psychologically troubled, it can be very difficult to accomplish seemingly "normal" tasks, like eating enough (or not too much) or sleeping enough (or not too much). And sometimes controlling food can seem like a way to cope with the things that are wrong in that person's life.

  • i understand =)

  • Thank you so much for sharing. I hope you will overcome this completely, and be able to smile agian :o)

  • wow..you are so beautiful...

  • I really hope you overcome this soon! You're beautiful, and I think it's great that you're speaking up about this. It takes courage and in doing so, you're helping out others in similar situations. Take care and God bless you : )

  • I hope you get better. Your a beutiful girl. And I think your mental strength will cure your illness. IMHO God Bless

  • Not only do you have wisdom and the insight to overcome this, but the courage to do what is best for you and the strength to share it. Always be true to yourself. Thank you.

  • You look well. I have watched a lot of your videos, and am amazed at the progess made. Hopefully others can be inspired by your videos.

  • I haven't watched one of your videos for a long time; you look good.

  • thank you

  • You're welcome, I hope things continue to go well for you.

  • Its understandable why young women have eating disorders. GIRLS! Just be confident in who you are! I think thats the hottest thing. A girl who's confident in her self. But I guess I'll never know, because Im a guy.

  • there is a lot to an eating disorder that people don't get. it isn't just about weight or food. it has a lot to do with someone's personality, or how they've grown up..or how they deal in general. way more than anyone ever THINKS.

  • you will get better.

  • I wish you lots of luck recovering and I admire your courage to enter recovery and then to reach out to other people with this video.

  • i hope u get better :[

    it's such a hard thing to deal with. i wish people were more accepting and openminded about these kindof illnesses.

  • you sound so sweet. take care

  • good luck to u/ hope you get better xx

  • Aww.. :( Good luck to you!

  • wow that was a very powerful video. I always wanted to make a video about my anorexia too but i always feel ashamed to do so. ive had mine for about a decade and its just really hard...i have not told anyone about it but people have an idea because of the way i act etc. Thanks for this video. it has made me feel much better!

  • you're welcome. yes, it is hard to hide after a while. it becomes more apparent as time goes on..people notice the habits you have. take care

  • would it help with having for example a job where yoy had to keep busy alot? Maybe stupid of me, I would hate it myself, working I mean

  • with the on and off symptoms of the various issues i have, it's hard to know when something will flare up..and i also find it hard to be around people. i also get stressed easy, so it's hard to find something that i know i can handle doing.

  • How many treatments have you undertaken? I thought there were more than you mention here.

  • i was in mainly, just counseling for other things over the years. for the actual eating disorder, it was only what i mentioned here. two tries at the once a week outpatient program in my area, and 2 months in a residential treatment a few months ago.

  • i really hope you get better :(

  • I felt your pain. I was bulimic but I got help.

  • i'm glad you got help. it always helps me to know that people really can overcome things like this. take care

  • Excellent video, thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I hope you will recover soon.

    Take care.

  • poor lady...thats terrible...i feel srry for u.

  • I feel sorry you are going through this and I hope one day you will beat it, but you need to think possitive and fight it every step of the way , how do you think it would be for all of your loved ones if one day you are no longer around, you may be playing with fire. get better only you can do it!

  • I feel exactly what you went through. And you're strong for going through what you did and are now able to talk about it.

  • good luck with the future

  • aww that sounds really crappy :(

    the head consultant at the hospital i went was specialized in eds but now im in adult services its not nearly as good

  • is it like not a specilist ed clinic like the one i go to its for all mental conditions

  • no, here all they have for ED's, is a once a week group..and once every 3-4 weeks, you get to see an ED counselor and nutritionist. the hospital doesn't even treat ED's..they won't admit you unless you are actually dying. it's pathetic.

    as for other mental health issues, all they have too, are groups..for some issues..and nothing at the hospital. it's just one psych ward, but they won't admit people very easily..i tried several times..no luck..

  • would you say the programs they have for people with the disorder help them recover?

  • not where i live no. in certain cities across canada there are some eating disorder programs but they can take months or years to get into and in order to even be admitted just to the regular hospital you have to be medically compromised. so it doesn't matter how much you emotionally or mentally suffer FROM ed related or general issues, it is hard to get proper help aside from just shrinks or meds if you really need more than just that.

  • why did it take so long to get diagnoised?

  • i'm not sure. maybe because medical dr.'s and the people at the programs here, don't really talk to each other.

    or the lack of actual treatment for it..i really don't know.

  • Ooh you put it up. It looks good all together now. Good stuff!

  • Angel-

    you and so many like you have touched my heart. THIS is good therapy! I am proud of you! You will win. I promise. :)

  • you are really strong and brave to share this to such a big crowd

  • Some people that looked at you might feel like they aught to do/say something. I think most people have good intentions about things like this, like me. Having an ED is not cool, doesn't make you weird, and I have utmost respect for you beating it.

  • You are very brave to make this video. It is very well composed, and I hope your positive outlook will continue to help you get increasingly more healthy. (and to inspire others as well).. Excellent job!

  • i applaud you for telling you story like this... i revealed my on story of addiction. I can relate with the obsession.

  • ***hugs*** i know how you feel

  • The man who told you to eat the big macs might have been trying to help. Unfortunately some people say the wrong thing. You're very attractive.

  • it actually was some lady..her friends looked at her in disbelief and told her she shouldn't have said that..lol

  • Babe this is so awesome. i would not be surprised if this got more media attention. but you dont need anyone else patting your back cause you know how well you have done, thats more than enough, but thank you from myself for doing this for people who cant do it for themselves....,.

  • Thankyou for letting us know your story; I have been watching your videos almost since you started, and appreciate you giving the time to tell us about how your anorexia began. All the best wishes in your recovery xxx

  • Very good summary of an eating disorder story.

    Well done!!

  • Great job Ashley; I'm so proud of you. I tried making my videos today, but my webcam is being stupid. Maybe tomorrow. Again, great video. :-)

  • Excellent and informative video Ashley. Having been there myself, I completely agree with you say that unless someone has been there, they don't know what it's like.

  • This was an excellent, very comprehensive video. I'm really glad you made it... I think it could help a lot of people, as well as helping you by getting it all out there. :)

    Hope you're doing well, dear. *hugs* <3