bill burr why do i do this FULL part 4

[WolvesBane95]

@Lillie1986

Because it DIDN'T WORK! I never understand how people think hitler was anything but a lunatic. He walks into a bar with an mg42, gets arrested, writes a book, starts a war, then loses the war. Where is the genius and skill people talk about.

He got desperate people to follow him and extremists to take over a country. He did nothing good for them afterwords.

[Lillie1986]

First of all Germany did dominate the 1936 olympics even though Jesse Owens won alot. Second of all Hitler got popular because he was at the time the best choice by far. Before he went insane he saved germany from bankruptcy and turned the economy around completely. Insane? He was an insanly skilled politician, noone can take that away from him

[WalterLiddy]

@Lillie1986 Obviously he was a good politician, although intimidation tactics are partly responsible for his political success. But the idea that he 'saved Germany from bakruptcy and turned the economy around' is misguided. As for insanity, he made a lot of irrational decisions even in the assessment of his own advisors, so if not clinically insane he was at least extremely irrational.

[Lillie1986]

@WalterLiddy misguided how?

[GarroshX]

I am so fascinated by his shit

[Krazygurl309]

I would marry this man.

[weq7]

i couldnt hear half the comedy act...i was laughing too much

[jeremiahjacksoncomic]

I wanna mush a muffin now. Not to sound dirty.

[falafabetsoup]

what a depressing guy this shit head is

[R3dN3cK810]

@falafabetsoup what a pathetic troll your bitch ass is

[falafabetsoup]

@R3dN3cK810 oh how cute, you're defending him

[R3dN3cK810]

@falafabetsoup i mean, he's funny as fuck. so uhh,, yeah. i am.

[falafabetsoup]

@R3dN3cK810 he's basically saying he's a depressing shit head though

[R3dN3cK810]

@falafabetsoup it put me in a better mood so i dont really see how its depressing. but whatever floats your boat

[24jamestown]

@falafabetsoup your a cunt

[falafabetsoup]

@24jamestown it's spelled *you're* as in 'you are a cunt', not the 'a cunt' that belongs to a person. Take a moment to think about how replying this way may qualify you as that ignorant guy on the internet whose comment you come across and think "this person clearly has no point but to vent completely unrelated frustrations."

[24jamestown]

@falafabetsoup you're a cunt

[ironmantis25]

@24jamestown

um, why did i just read your entire conversation?

[24jamestown]

@ironmantis25 how the fuck do i know? only you can answer that you faggot ass cunt.

[ironmantis25]

@24jamestown

lmao, dude, chill.

[Uggaphat]

F@#% Censorship!

[vonversace]

small talk with Hitler after J Owens Olympics..not a good idea..

[GreenMirage001]

I'm on a mobile so I cant see the description but, where's the rest of it?

[fcartwr1]

FIVE...5... people dont like this?? huh?

[DarkTowerTube]

I loved how he paused for water after mentioning that thing about hitler. Just like- it's fucking nothing. Let it build.

He was killing that room.

[littleblueclovers]

lol. i'm one of the few girls who also think that the 'homemade accessories' are sh*t XD

[xxBasketballgirl211x]

did anyone else realize that he was talking about taking off from the foul line and being superman with a cape, and dwight howard did that exact thing?

[emowashere]

NO INDICATION HE EVEN TRIED TO STOP lmao

[Chit4brainz]

"That's the funny thing about Hitler."

[Laryn04]

Classic chloroform moment lol Hitler open mic lol

[anacrobat89]

For those wondering why no part 5?? The special ended about 1 and a half minutes after the muffins bit. So there isn't really a part 5.

[anacrobat89]

People, this show was recorded from his special which aired on Comedy Central. Hence the bleeps and edits for commercial pauses.

[JRuffinelli]

Hahaha, that Hitler segway was fucking hilarious. The audience wasn't sure whether they were on board or not until he finished.

[iBelongToNo1]

@JRuffinelli segue 

[pickledbologna]

I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one with those thoughts

[mrburns805]

4:13 3 socks for a dollar? What are you gonna do with 3 socks? Lol

[jontejay]

@mrburns805 masturbate with warm feet.

[Danshro]

Listen to bill burrs weekly Monday morning podcast on iTunes

[StraightOuttaDC]

Damn these ads!

[nmber1nunner]

dude, youre fucking hillarious !

[93johnk]

this man is a fucking genius

[wh0reship]

8:58 omg i almost died choking on my water

[Gerstein1]

Everyone having chloroform rags to use purely on assholes? Oh I would love to go: "Hey dude, dude, come here. I want to tell you something about immigrants. They made this rag. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[LamarMF]

"I was in a Target the other day, not braggin'" lmao. Made something so simple, so funny.

[88seanny]

I pity 3 people

[Mrtonecapone77]

the 3 people who disliked this prolly was hitler, idiot, and prolly a physco

[majikstranger]

"Ahh you know what, Fuck my dreams". HAHAHAHA

[caz1231]

I used to promote the running people over as a new law that should be passed. Permits would be issued, it would give us one weekend a month and be specifically for people on sidewalks. I about soiled myself when I first headr this!!!!

[zombieslayer689]

thumbs up if you dislike censoring swear words (confusing, i know)

[TheyCallMeWendy]

i can't believe i just found this guy. my sides haven't hurt like this from laughing in years. he's a genius.

[rankinrip]

Bill Burr is amazing

[misanthropicagenda1]

which gay cunt nigger bleeped the swear words?

luls

[bfmv580]

This is absolutely hilarious, seriously, this guy is the next big comedian!

[PHEDDiMiNDGoNE]

@ 6:10 hell yea i feel ya ma nigg

[MoRgUe27]

hahaha i fucking love when he talks about mushing shit

mushing muffins, mushing people's faces....lol

fucking hilarious

[LucyShy]

OMFG tears are running down my face... I love this dude!

[UtopiaMinor666]

fucking hilarious that the jesse ownes vid he mentioned is available in the suggestions column. I have to watch it now!!!

[thelovelyinkwell]

HAHAHAHA THE MUFFINS! damn i'd love to do that lol

especially to the fckn starbucks guy who's glaring at me for choking on laughter -__-

[podiddy07]

I was in a Target the other day......no braggin

[MultiSpecies8472]

No part 5?

[bfmv580]

This is too funny!! I love this guy.

[vonversace]

WE'RE GOING TO DOMINATE...kills me

[zheffner666]

funny, i noticed a lot of fast food commercials yesterday while all the news channels were discussing the death of Bin Laden.

[rep300]

"We sent a select group of people to the gym every day for a couple hundred years, it's paying dividends."

[samuraitj]

Awesome!

[TheTrishawiles]

"Classic Chloroform Moment..... Hitler Open-Mic"

[TheTrishawiles]

THE CHLOROFORM RAG!!!! HAHAHHAA my favorite part of this bit of his...

[krob41]

im dying right now this is amazing

[kustomkure]

I have those thoughts all the time. Do I need therapy? =)

[XxHooksxX]

LOL I used to always do that in Grand Theft Auto, just drive up on the sidewalk and destroy everyone.

[wolfmanjacksaid]

can anyone link me to a video that continues the rest of this standup?

[faismasterx]

"Classic chloroform moment."

[FreddoX1]

I was like oh- shit he just said sieg heil xD

[FartScrap]

That just seems like a waste of pastry!

[mika1447]

200 miles away " Is that kfc?'... lmbo he's too funni :D

[bbz232]

How's it going? I'LL TELL YOU HOW IT'S GOING

[qbenplaya00]

wheres 5?

[redshieldshatterer]

@qbenplaya00 There is no part 5. Right after the muffin joke, it's the end of the special. The guy just didn't feel like uploading the part where Bill Burr leaves.

[aQuaSPLaSHLoVe]

there was this kid in my english class and we were debating the tragedy of the commons and this one kid raises his hands and says "oh we just need free labor from africa instead of giving them stuff" and no one said shit! so i told him off and no one back me up! In fact the teacher yells at me for verbally attacking him! I was like WTH!?

[Thermalburn]

@aQuaSPLaSHLoVe really? Thats weird. In college/university i find it to be the oposite. Liberal thoughts tend to drown out conservative ideas. Usually i just play devils advocate and take up a conservative view point just to piss the hipsters off lmao. I'll be like "yeah i think women should just stay home instead of work" **queue angry stares from all the girls in the class**

[me86680]

@Thermalburn slavery is a conservative idea? i guess i sort of agree............

[Thermalburn]

@me86680 depends how u look at it i suppose. lol

[aQuaSPLaSHLoVe]

@Thermalburn lol no this kid was dead serious I wanted to smack him

[jgcfc58]

part 5?

[slayter9080]

"It just seems like a waste of pastry...." hahahhahahah funniest line

[MrGatsuga]

I like this guy.

I'd like to have a beer with him.

[landcaster11]

"We are going to dominate! Siieg Heeil! Carrying on and whatnot." Man that was funny as hell!

[mhrreplicacarbon]

Tattoo 'possibly the next Hitler on his forehead' HAHAHAHAHA lmfao!

[mullen711]

"We are going to dominate! Siiieg Heeil." I laughed so hard. xD

[youngdrodeau]

OMFG.That functionin psycho shit is so true.Sometimes I just walk by lil ladies & think "What if I just slapped the shit outta her." My hand gets to twitchin & shit.I'm like "Where the fuck did that thought come from?..I'd better go home."

[ImprettysureImright]

Brilliant.

[flykicks14]

woow @ 6:00 i did that shit to on ma way 2 school!! woow & whats even more bad is that i feel better that im not the only 1

[nomorelies86]

Love Bill Burr;) one question: what's a target?? I'm swede so be patience.

[Benussi1]

@nomorelies86 target is a shop

[landcaster11]

@nomorelies86 Target is a superstore. It has groceries, electronics, bikes, you name it they got it.

[KnowledgeNoodle]

@nomorelies86 Target is a store.

[SniperSpade]

FUCK THE BLEEPS/CENSORES

[fuckmycunt99]

hey lady are these your muffins? oh yeah? wack wack wack wack!

[Sinekyre14]

Hmm, I think he's being a bit too politically correct here. He's trying to make up for his honesty on other racial issues. Come on, enough with the white guilt..

[CraigMetalHead]

@Sinekyre14 Not quite racist enough for you?

[ItsameAlex]

@Sinekyre14

''he's being a bit too politically correct here''

are you serious?

[poopshot]

so weird cuz everything he says is exactly how i feel

[TheOnlyBraveHeart85]

this dude is alot like me ... i have these thoughts all the time but i don't do any of them !!! it's OCD but not Really OCD ... cause u don't do it !!! i love em he's so Real !

[frosty2010]

dane cook ads shouldn't be allowed on this

[Silverspecks]

"THAT'S SOME SUPERHERO SHIT!"

[thesolo]

"This is a TABLE of SHIT!"

[randman21]

Haha, he mentions muffins three times in this one video. What a genius.

[YeahYeahYuhBoy]

ha i just cant get over the image of sum crazy guy with a "Possibly the next Hitler" tatoo on his forehead haha

[OshiiMikomi]

lmao... "Eat one egg McMuffin, you're on the couch, yeah, you know, fuck my dreams."

[codybourg101]

Who's the 1 dipshit that disliked this?!

[Troublesome2008]

@codybourg101

Probably someone who makes muffins :).

[MarkArandjus]

@codybourg101 Carlos Mencia, because he wishes he could make jokes about race this well instead of just a string of textbook stereotypes and pretending he's all edgy because he says them.

[helix686]

2 degrees makes all the difference

[TANKgodsAREangry]

"No... if they were nice they would be in a store"

[NewJerusalum]

my doorbell rang & i just leaned my head back & said, don't be mormons.

[NewJerusalum]

my doorbell rang & i just leaned my head back & said, don't be Mormons.

[rockettmeister]

I DIED when he said Hitler open mic

[doomsy]

she's got this big stupid " ya look at the muffins i made" look on her face LOL

[bricbob1986]

follow him out to the parking lot, they jump into his el camino, NOW THERES TWO OF EM!

[downcard11]

he's so right about one crazy person taking over...never thought about it but it's quite simple.

[Devext]

Ah, hitler, good times.

[unknownNusance]

i love the line, "gee i wonder how ackward that car ride home was with hitler?"

[OjikesShadow]

I do the functioning psycho shit all the fucking time. xD Stuff like the muffin joke more than anything. I walk by an old woman who's riding in an electric wheel chain, and I wonder how the people around me would react if I just planted my boot in her face.

[TheSo4p]

lmao, the google ad was playing at the same time the clip was playing

[mullen711]

"I was in a Target the other day.. not braggin.." xDD

[ThatWrestlingShow]

mans just brilliant

[xanderwat]

"Hitler open mic..." wow classic lmao

[mullen711]

NO indication he even tried to stop! HAHA

[lonercarrot]

lol. i love how he takes his water after saying hitler, good timing

[nycpd75]

@lonercarrot pleas tell me what the water has to do with it ?:S

[superbaum]

@nycpd75 It's about the pause that comes with getting the bottle.