how can sum 1 thats so beautiful like u be depressed now sum 1 like me its easy 2 be depressed im very ugly fat an retarded an just a worthless pathetic loser that wont amount 2 shit plus im disabled an i got lots of more reasons but i aint shareing with every 1 i really hope 2 find it in me 2 kill myself i ask from every 1 2 plz just bash me so i can have the courage 2 kill myself so plz just write rude comments so hopefully that will push me 2 do it i dont wanna cut i want 2 go the whole way:[
I have been going through what u r off and on for about 4 years it seriously sux some days, other days I feel ok but not great, it hurts and a lot of the time I feel alone, unloved, hopeless, I have no direction in life, then it effects school which causes me to worry about what my life is going to be like in a few years I have seriously had to fight through every episode I have encountered and it's really just a war with myself trying to refrain from actually attempting one of the main suicida
It will and can get better. Honey, please hang in there. You are such a pretty girl and I would hate to see you do anything bad. I have been fighting the same things since I was 20. You can make it and I feel that you will. I will be thinking of you. Chris.
You wanna see a psychiatrist love, I saw a psychologist for over a year and she was rubbish for me, she might help others but couldnt get through to me it didnt help me at all, it was cbt, the chemical imbalce in your brain I dont think can be treated with your psychologist, you need to see a psychiatrist and they can give you the right anti depresents to cheer you up, I have no friends cause of my illness, ocd depresstion anxiety i cant leave house im a recluse to m8 stopped meeting me
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY since september 2006 I remember it like it was yesterday everytime I meeted the 2 friends I had I would be filled with anxiety in town so would have to get drunk before and with them just to be able to meet them, sometimes I was so nerveous I would leave the pub when my m8 was uding the toilet I couldnt tell him what was wrong with me cause he would not have understood
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Sorry whats been happening to you for 3 months p.m me if you dont wanna post it publicically I know loads of drugs that help and that dont I been there got the T-shirt, some make it worse some make it better p.s my dad is a massive T- rex fan lolzer's
@isolationproblem Saw the doctor today and he's given me Citalopram. Don't think anything will truly work unless I can eradicate what caused the depression in the first place. Thumbs up to your dad, great taste in music.
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Hi, what caused the depression in the first place do you know? let me know how you get along with this new drug and any other problems you may have
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY I so hope citalopram helps you but if your g.p gave it to you then everyone is diffrent I guess but in may 2007 when I finally dared go to the doctors with my weird ocd I thought was goign to section me and he gave me citalopram I took it for 7 weeks
@isolationproblem My problem is the job I do, I hate it and can't face going back. All the tablets in the world won't make things right if I'm still in the job that caused the problem.
How did you get on with citalopram? Not very well I take it.
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Sadley citalopram made things 10 times worse but everyone is diffrent as there are 7 ssri's or several I forget for some ppl citalopram will do wonders for them for me it didnt so I now take 60 m.g prozac, and it was helped by taking another anti d alongside it called clompipramine which isnt a ssri so was safe to take with the prozac I felt as my best then, but the side effects I couldnt wee so had to come off the clomipramine, whats ur job?
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Had the ocd all my life but got bad shortley after I turned 18, I tried loads of drugs mood stabalizer's help even though I dont have bi polar they can help ppl with like your more commom mental health problems, sounds like your working to hard or someone at work is pushing you to the limit, for me though mental health problems run in my family so my dad got it from his mum I got it from him, but my sisters were lucky they got my mum's genes
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY I'm really sorry to hear that, I hope the citalopram works out well for you, is there any other drug there giving you to run along side it like diazipam etc
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Not to bad with the ocd I have bouts where I need to do it here and there but try my best to fight it, depression is moderate and I still have major sleep problems I have about 4 hours a night, but I used to have 8 hours which is the normal, so I like go to bed at 6.am cause I cant sleep and I am shocked when I wake at 10.am cause it was only 4 hours, I do get some sleeping pills which give me 8 hours but the docs dont like giving them long term
I can understand starting to think I am depressive...had a rough childhood...abused, psychically, emotionally and mentally. Had a really stressful time before Christmas and have not felt good since then. Going through menopause don't know if that is part of it.don't remember mom doing that. I hate my myself and I cannot talk to anyone as I was told no you cannot talk as a child...Like fuck my past life, all that I don't remember is coming back.
I understand how you feel. ive lived with this monster most of my life...30 some odd years. its like being totally dead from the inside. i have no friends to talk to reguarding my situation. its only a burden to people around me. i struggle with it alone. i feel im slowly slipping away. the hardest part is the lonliness i feel. people can make there jokes about it all they want...only shows the ignorance. if you need to talk im here.
Sorry to hear that you have to go through this. It's painful, I know. Just know that you are unique. Don't ever commit suicide just because you think you hate yourself so much and you don't have a reason to keep living. You were created for a special purpose, you may not realize it yet but NO ONE can ever REPLACE YOU. Hang in there, you will get through this. Don't stay isolated for very long, try to get out there. Sit in the park, and watch people, or feed ducks. Good luck.
...it's the world of reality that makes you love yourself. Look around you and you'll find many people who love you and make you feel good about yourself. It did work a bit for me, eventually. I really want you to cast yourself away from the world which overwhelms your emotions. Please, don't even think of hurting yourself. Life is worth living for. Please don't give up...fight...Just know that we all support you. Be strong...dear
I am sorry I didn't see your video before. I can completely understand what you were going thru at the time you posted this video. I hope you feel much better today. I don't know if my comment can help (because it never worked for me), However, I'd like you to know that we're all here hanging on and I wish you can do the same. I am not going to say it's gonna be OK, but gonna assure you that the world you're living in is a fake one. It creates the feeling of self hatred. It's the...
I have a she-male friend... she is a prostitute. She tells me to just pretending everything is ok and I am happy, cause if I could meet half of her clients I would learn more about metal problems than any other psychologist could help me. She tells me
LIFE IS LIKE ANAL SEX, ONLY HURTS IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO ENJOY IT, AND DONT TAKE THINGS TOO PERSONAL CAUSE SHIT SOMETIMES HAPPENS.
I hate those ' IT GETS BETTER" videos like the one I have here on my right... I am not going to watch it.. cause NEVER GETS BETTER.
One time this Haitian pastor told me that didnt have depression, I was possessed, so I started laughing hysterically, so he said that was the spirit manifesting. I told him I had no money and if was ok for him to bill my freecare medical insurance. He gave up and told me I was really bipolar and he couldnt help me. So I said,how about the spirit. He said it is gone
I developed such sick sense of humor, 1 time this old guy was trying to flirt with me at the YMCA's sauna. So I hold his hand and started to talk about Jesus loves him. I wouldnt let him go, and trust me he tried, but Im a strong guy. With anger issues too.
One time I went to this cruising area, porn video store, where guys having sex in the cabinets, so I went to one and started screaming saying a suppose guy had a gun.Everybody panicked and started run,some were naked, and I got beat up later
I was in this relationship with another bipolar, we both had more issues than time magazine, and one time he asked me... why do you love me so much? So I said... cause you are the only one I have been with that has worse life than me. He was like, but I am gay and ppl too like you. So I said... but I wasnt adopted.
I know those help lines have caller ID. Cause every time when I call they say before I open my mouth. RON GO TAKE YOUR HAPPY PILLS.
Look I cant help you ... I am fucking bipolar and like 30 min ago I was down and now I am up... its crazy so the only way I think I can make better and make a difference is by telling jokes.
I thought you were going to talk about your fat ugly friend Megan, but I can tell depression doesnt care about looks.
One time I was trying to kill myself and I though ppl would say no. They said... JUMP . I got so mad that I grabbed a metal bar and started swing it if I was He-man. Real stuff.
what makes her a whore....this is a real issue...people feel this way all the time..why would you watch this if YOU don't have problems...real nice UncleBobby sounds like a redneck name..you probably were on of them screwing your cousins..maybe that is your problem..
@tattooedmommy1986 uh huhuhuhuh, ur husband died for a bullshit cause thats hilarious. have fun crying about it while im sitting here gettin kicks out your seriousness :3.
BTW he deserves to die, i guarantee hes done fucked up shit in that country to innocent people. disgusting.
My heart is breaking for you. I was diagnosed bipolar 5yrs ago after a suicide attempt.I actually spent 3months in a mental hosp last yr. I've always been so ashamed of my disorder and even as an adult, Ive been teased. Ur a brave girl for doing this.Be proud of urself. U have helped me realize maybe I dont have 2 b ashamed.But if i cd give u any advice it wd b, know that this episode WILL eventually go away.But it will also come back but that too will go away
it sounds crazy, but it makes sense. if you didnt know what happiness felt like, how would you know what depression feels like? the same is true vice-versa. you just have to keep searching for what you love, and be patient. You will eventually find it and it will all be worth it. I know its a hard concept to understand when your down, but please hang in there
what about your brain? your brain is just a bundle of common elements, these same elements can be found in a common rock on the ground. How is it that something purely physical, and so simple, can cause you all these terrible emotions? Please stop taking the medicines, they are most likely doing more harm than good. I have been in a similar state of mind as you, and i promise it gets better. The more pain and depression you feel, the more joy and happiness is opened for your future
I hate to see you hurt this way. I have been there so many, many times. I have to watch what music that I listen to. I have been on all kinds of meds. I have been off them for two yrs. and I feel somewhat better. You are a beautiful young lady avoid the haters on here. I would take your pain if it were possible. Please respond to my post and I might be able to help you. I had five yrs of counseling every week. Please, don't forget you can always call 911 I'm 65 some wisdom behind me.
When you said you hated your heart because it keeps beating, I knew, for the first time, someone understands me. I would not wish this pain on anyone....and you are so young and beautiful...you remind me of my daughter. I would take your pain if I could, but let's just believe that we will get better, okay? I'm holding your hand in my heart.
Hi, I have MMD too, nothing to look forward to all day except for the mail. I lost my best friend recently because she couldn't handle my life. I am taking Cymbalta and Abilify. I've lost interest in everything, sleep all day, and was recently hospitalized for suicide ideation. I shop too, online. I have a wonderful husband, but no friends, and only my mom is alive. No other family members. I'm very isolated. You are brave to make this video. I wish we could be friends. ~Molly
You are an extraordinarily beautiful woman, inside AND out. Don't let life take away your beauty. Reclaim it, and make it what you want it to be. Best wishes.
I hope you have found your happy place. I know you have, you are beautiful, and you will make it, just like me, I'm sailing in the same ship but have no one to talk to and no friends that I can go to and never have had some one there. Talk to me if you are still there, I feel the same.
I have been very depressed, hated myself, and wanted to die...you are not alone. Plz hang in there!!! You're so pretty and I can tell you're smart from your video. When did you start believing otherwise? Whenever you did,,its a lie. You are worth it!!!
You're a god damn superstar. You are so brave in every single way, you're beautiful, inside and out, and no matter what you think, it's going to be OK. I know you can get through this.
psychology addict here if you wear bright colors and look at the sun that'll help too u gotta use everything you can to help make you happy because no one else can truly make you happy but yourself.
Start out with just a grape or a orange... Something small nd once you realize your hungry eat everything in the house like I do lol... Girl I love you and I don't even know you( not lesbian by the way) lol I can just relate and I can see your a good person you just need love girl that's all.... Email me at navywife211@gmail.com if you need anything or have any questions cuz I know how it feels when your that deep... By the way get some vitamin c in you it makes you feel better and psychology a
Happiness and freedom. Just like everyone else.... You may have lost motivation and you feel like giving up and you just can't breathe because the darkness around you is so thick but keep in mind that someone does love you. Look to God if you want... Look to find more friends. Look to keep your butt busy. And to not eat .. Girl if u knew what that does to your body! Your body needs certain things to survive nd if it isn't getting it it feeds off your organs. So Idc if your not hungry. Eat some
I have PTSD/ major depressive episodes. And I have felt that way just about every single day of my life so far since I was 12 years old. One thing you got to know is we obviously care about you. You are obviously an amazing beautiful person but your just lost. Whatever it was that put you in that place fight back. I do it every day, I have to... Or else I'll give in to my insanity. If you don't then that would mean it won, it defeated you. Do you want that? I hope not because you deserve happin
I'm so late. I just want you to know you're gorgeous! I love you're eyes, I wish mines were that big! Let me tell you something, I have depression. It fucking sucks, that's the truth. But after every storm is a rainbow. Piece of advice to you, keep taking your medication, when you feel like you're gonna break down..go to someone your close too. Or even go to the hospital. I don't let myself stay alone when I breakdown cus I get really bad. You're so worth it! I wish I can take my own advice.
Ive seen alot of videos where people believe they are insane, i am not a professional so i cant say you are not. Being that your case may be organic meaning that you can not change what is happening to you without the help of medicine. Many others i believe are just being pushed to their limits by the people around them. On the other hand i have seen many people for the most part feeling sorry for themselves; grow up. you have to change what u dont like in ur life cause no one else will.
you guys are obviously not happy with your lives. Im there about every other day. However, i change something. I know that depression can actually be seen on an MRI, but does this mean you are stuck this way; i hope not. Theres only one way to find out; try something new, just do something you normally wouldnt do. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. Go on a bike ride. something active. Take control of your lives. You have one life to live then you will all die. If you feel trapped then get out in other ways.
you guys are obviously not happy with your lives. Im there about every other day. However, i change something. I know that depression can actually be seen on an MRI, but does this mean you are stuck this way; i hope not. Theres only one way to find out; try something new, just do something you normally wouldnt do. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. Go on a bike ride. something active. Take control of your lives. You have one life to live then you will all die. If you feel trapped then get out in other ways.
I am in the same boat my dear *Hugs* it is very hard and I feel the way you do every single day, it really does suck, but keep positive, because it will get better <3
i am going through a major depression and my husband wants me to cook clean and serve him I cannot even deal with him when I try to tell him that I am having issues he just ignores it. I dont want to kill myself but it is killing me every minute that i have to smile at him knowing that i hate him he is the one that ruined my life
you are beautiful hang in there. I have problems because of my looser husband. Now nothing can go wrong in my life I cannot handle the stress i want to just cuddle in my corner and sleep
and i feel the same way about how your like I don't want to kill myself, but i don't want to keep living like this. :/ i'm sorry you're going through this I can't even deal with it.
I would be all it gonna be okay but i know to you it's going to bullshit i am going through the same sorta thing but i don't has a therapist. I do have a best friend that is going into pre-med to be a psychologist in aug so that helps.
I know exactly how you feel, well I'm not going to say EXACTLY because you never know. But it sure doesn't seem like it can get any worse than this. Just today, a car zoomed by really close to me and it took all my strength not to throw myself in front of it. I pray that I will have a seizure or a heart attack or something in my sleep so I will die. It's horrible. I know. And I just want you to know I will pray for you, that you get better. No one deserves to live like this.
i wish your okay nowadays....i can't really remember when was the last time i got depressed, but i remembered i started calling God as Dad...Whatever whenever wherever i got messed up, i cried out loud my heart asking Dad "help me understand and accept things " and Dad do helps. ......................................... Thanks Dad.
Yes please don't give up, have you thought about gardening or some type of hobby that you can vent your energies into that brings you back. I think the drugs will only give you a mute feeling and the peaks and valleys are what life is. Also confide in friends and family and it should be coming round soon. How about a pet? Cats and dogs can help relief stress. Good luck too you
I wish i knew you in person. Youre strong enough to talk about what youre going through. Im not. Its so hard to tell anyone. And talking to you seems like a possibility. Someone who understands.
any one with depression needs a lot of support and this ilness should always be taken seriously.being surrounded by people who care about you is essential. yes i too suffer bouts of depression some worse than others but please when you wish bad things for yourself please speak to someone .i know it can be diffulcult but you really must. best wishes to you
Depression is terrible and there is almost nothing that can be said to ease the torment that you have to go through on a daily basis. All I can say is keep fighting and better days will come.
You are so beautiful baby girl. I have battled with depression for years. My only real hope has been the LORD and medication. It's not about being religious, it about being real and crying out to GOD to send you help, someone who understands and will encourage you.People who have never had this do not understand how bad this feels. Try to get good rest, eat good, trying taking walks. Having my pets have really helped too. I will be praying for you. You are not alone. You are going to be okay.
ohh darling you are such a beautifull open wonderfull girl and i know this place you are in very well too ...I wich I good give you just a warm hug ...And i know when you are feeling this way even that won,t help .
It.s so difficult too find words for you now or help .
Anyway ,Lauren from holland a big huge hug ..and....IT WILL PASS(you cant believe it now) But it REALY will..... COURAGE....
i am right there with you believe me end stage deppression thts what they call it in me
yes life sucks having been in this whole hellish existenc since 1990 everything fails i have taken every med there is no they dont work
right now i feel so very bad and hurt so much i have done suicide 4 times already i wish i could help you hold you and do something to help you are not alone you are not alone
i have major depression . the meds do not work . i am not able to work at all anymore and my memory is failing . my only hope now is shock treatment . i never ever would have thought i would go for that but now i long for it. i identify with you more then i have anyone at least as you are in this video. i think your also prove that depression hits anyone . You are so great looking it shows that yip even the great looking people suffer from this shit.
@bill739 i am 19 and i have been diagnosed with chronic manic depression for almost 12 years. the meds do not work. they are mainly like a placebo. i am NOT saying to anyone reading this to stop taking your meds that is completely wrong. they do not work for me. I am in counseling and i find that helps sooo much
look, i've been on the verge of suicide because of depression many times. stay strong and keep at it. life gets better. don't give up, give it all you got, and no less. hope you make the right choice.
i had mild depression and that was really hard to deal with. you're such a strong human being. i hate how you don't see how hot you are. i'm not just saying that. live sweetheart because while things are shitty right now, you WILL eventually come out the other side and those wonderful feelings will come back like they did for me. im so happy i didn't succeed at killing myself. it will be better xxxx
Its so scary isnt it, I was thinking of ways to end it, and tuesday I just started trying to stab myself, trying to stick knives in my body, but they were breaking so I tried my neck, someone came behind and stopped me, it was so scary, I really went for it and cant understand why I am still here, I feel like Im going downhill with no brakes, I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better but I am thinking of you, you have a really nice personality, Your young + pretty, X
saw a flashback of my life wen i heard u...after many years i got reasons to b very happy wiv life but i dont know y i fil like m breaking off and falling into darkness...like i have no expection wiv life anymore... m trying to find what it is..gues hav to deal with it..hope it gets better for u girlie
I've seen menatal health professionals about it but on the day of my appointment i was so pumped up with adrenaline that i seemed to them to be ok and i thought that i would be ok. The next day i was in despair. I was crying for no reason which lasted about half an hour and then i tried self harming with a fire-lighter thing which has got a serated metal edge. I was pushing that into my skin and the pain released endorphins but afterwards the depression still came back. It is really difficult.
From the things you've said and the way that you've talked i sense you are ever fighting against a sense of complete hopelessness which is something i can definitely relate to. The depression is so painful that the idea of taking your own life in some way or seriously inuring yourself in some way would be less painful but also it sometimes makes you feel something at all even if it is just pain. I really don't know why this happens to me but it keeps on happening now ever since March 2011.
hi lauran ur awesome lol...i actually also suffered from this problem but well i just wanted tell u that don't leaves your hopes.one day you will get well.please also you can contact me if you would like ...i really like to talk to people and help them as much as i can...and yea love u lauran dont worry...god bless you.....
I had a depression and please just believe in your self cause you're beautifull and just do not listen to other people calling you names or anything. Just don't give up!
I Do have MDD since more than 15 yrs, I am 38 now, and still dealing with it, medications, therapy, and stop the medications after almost two years . I will pray for you, I know exactly how you feel about that anger with you heart still working. But please please don't give up. We all here at least I am. please write to me I am hear to listen, to love, to try my best to comfort you. God bless you. bello_marino@yahoo.com My name is Linda
I Do have MDD since more than 15 yrs, I am 38 now, and still dealing with it, medications, therapy, and stop the medications after almost two years . I will pray for you, I know exactly how you feel about that anger with you heart still working. But please please don't give up. We all here at least I am. please write to me I am hear to listen, to love, to try my best to comfort you. God bless you. bello_marino@yahoo.com
Lauren, you are a beautiful courageous young woman. I’m older and a male; I’ve been bi-polar for longer than you and my experience is that is DOES get better. Unfortunately, there is no “magic” pill. You doctor may have to try several RX’s or combinations before the mood swings get less severe. In the meantime, you may question how long treatment will take... don't give up, the right combination of Meds will come and you'll smile again!
Its so sad to see you going through what ive been through...
just by watching you i know exactly how your feeling...and its a feeling words cant even begin to describe. Fight through it. and i know you may not be religious, but jesus saved me. at first it may seem like your talking to yourself but if you call out to god he will answer your prayers, i promise you that. <3
i tried the sleeping pills thing.. glade i woke up because it got better with time.. but the feelings keep on coming back out of nowhere and i dont know why. hope we all get better.. and this shitty weather is making it worse. take care of youself.. promise it will be okay again.
i know exactly how you feel. i noticed this video is from a while ago so i dont know if you're still checking these comments but im right with you. and i feel like killin myself all the time too. like i have NO purpose in life whatsoever. i dont even know why god has me here when i cant do anything right and im fuckin worthless. i cried with you in this video cuz everything you said i heard myself say too. let us know how you're doing
Girl ,feel soo sad.I`m crying for you because i get depressed like you.When i am alone i just break down & start crying uncontrolably.My hands shake,heart races,it soon passes like a storm but i feel lousy for a while after.Wish i was there next to you because i know i can pull you out of it.But i can`t & that is what hurts me the most.Find someone to be with you.It will still hurt but not as bad.Please write me anytime ,i will be there.Feel so lousy that i can`t do any better.Big hugg. Marie
omg I so am in this spot. Its like I am looking in the mirror. I see this was done a while ago I am so hoping things got better for you.....i need hope
I do not deny your suffering, however, is it possible that medicalizing, and having your life issues reduced to "discreet" labels, has maybe done more harm than good. Maybe its time you stand back from the painting, as you might be too close to see the forest for the trees. If a medical approach to your existential pains isn't working, and the drugs you are given might actually be exaccerbating your condition, wouldn't reworking your conceptualizations and perceptions be in order. Hard work!
Not sure if you read your posts on here anymore. But if you do just keep thinking it will pass. Try all veggies and fruit... Juicing has helped me tons...... Just try it......pzzzz
I've been like you all my life. Didn't think anyone was like me. But I've been like this my whole life. For the first time I am looking at what I eat. I'm also on zolof the first time ever.
@VeggiePyromaniac sorry for the late reply, been without the internet for a little while lol yeah therapy did not do anything for me either, i still struggle with it now and again and if ur not careful you end up getting sucked into a viscous circle wehre you cant feel 'normal' unless your depressed. but i think actually doing stuff, like making the effort to go out with family and friends, talking to them and do stuff for fun really helped ease out of that circle.
@VeggiePyromaniac im not gonna lie its not easy "doing stuff" when u cant feel anything or when you see that theres no point in stuff. i mean for me now i cant get out of my house because i dont feel safe if that makes sense but it helps talking to a freind and having them help u with stuff. you feel 'safer' with urself and life after a while. thing with depression is that it never really goes away it can creep back into your life really easily but you've got to know how to deal with it :)
@LittleBlueStar13 Thanks for the advice. I dont know if I have depression though, I think its more like in one moment im extremely happy and excited and then I feel like shit. They say that in depression you cant enjoy absolutely nothing but if for example u give a cool concert ticket while Im feeling down Im pretty much gonna enjoy it so I dont know if u can call that depression, its really confusing ya know.
I know that feeling sweetheart, I'm taking 375mg of effexor and I take modafinil to have some energy to actually do stuff instead of just sitting doing nothing - I have one friend. At the very best unless I take other drugs to combat it (unprescribed, such as modafinil or tramadol). I've overdosed more times than I can count without caring if I die, overdosed with deliberate intent to die and suffered (thankfully temporary) liver damage from it. So far it has only got worse for me.
@ninjatoothpaste But, you adapt, take medication, grow stronger and learn to operate and cling on without looking down - the second you look down your grip loosens and you fall. It's hard, you don't make many friends and the ones you do make are like you and often not as fun because they're suffering too. For the sufferer it literally is the worst disease that it's possible to have. But it gives you a perspective that most people will never have, and at times and in some ways that's good.
@ninjatoothpaste Worst scenario is you try to kill yourself and end up surviving with a disability because of it, maybe even end up even more mentally screwed up. I have a stomach ulcer, my brother has crohn's disease as well and both of us have those on top of our depression, I take antidepressants to take the edge off, my brother gets painkillers for his crohns and takes more than he should because they take the edge off his depression, I used to be a massive drug addict (heroin etc).
@ninjatoothpaste But even out of the darkest depression, when you've reached the very bottom, there are options that beat suicide. I turned to drugs, and then after years of addiction to painkillers and having had just about every drug there is from heroin to research chemicals I finally decided after my latest attempted suicide to take antidepressants. I'm stable, don't know how long for and I still dip quite low, but if it gets too bad I'll take any drug going if it keeps me from suicide.
@ninjatoothpaste I'm in the grips of another episode myself so I come across as a little negative and I don't advise taking drugs that your doctor hasn't prescribed, just telling the truth though, I probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't been a drug addict (ironic huh!). You'll have to suffer with it all your life but you do get breaks from it, sometimes many months at a time, don't know about years but maybe years for some :D Also, people with REAL depression tend to be more intelligent!
@ninjatoothpaste Okay, I realize I'm typing too much now, but I just have to say how much I hate it when people who don't suffer with MDD think it's the same thing as their couple of weeks of mild depression because they've been dumped or whatever, it simply isn't the same thing! Even when you lose a relative to cancer your grief doesn't last for years and years, major depression is the absolute worst disease you can EVER have. Simple. See Robert Sapolsky's lecture on depression! It's great!
Yes its bad. I have climbed through tons of the same crap. Yes I made it out of it ! Thanks for posting this...I feel less alone and more awake. Yes I still suffer, but at low low levels that are real easy to manage,its still there, waiting in shadows, So I keep a strong will, an alert attude and cut it off at the pass if I see the enemy coming. I had all kinds of treatment. I basically act n function on a high level as a "Well" person in public in front of peopl I live "Above" the disorder.
wow what a couragous thing to do...im a mental health professional here in canada and I was trying to see a true story like yours...it is very insightfull and I thank you, because I will be better at helping ppl in the same situation. And don`t think your alone, theyre are sooo many like you, and so many suffer in silence because of the stigma. thanks!!!!!!
I remember the first time i wanted to kill myself...their is nothing scarier than being afraid of yourself....because you can never escape...but you can change
i know this was a while ago and i hope ur getting better now...keep thinking positive beautiful <3
you cannot predict the future. you dont know what is going to happpen. Stay as positive as can be. Its hard. extremely hard to do. but its possible to get through it. Look to meet someone new. Start bloging on a website, meet new people to stay intouch with. You wont feel as alone. This was recorded 3 years ago, so i hope your on good path now.
This is so sad. I really hope you are feeling much better now. I totally understand this type of severe depression and have lived with it for many years. You're right, it does totally suck and is really the worst kind of hell. For me, it feels like a chemical imbalance; because I can be in the middle of the hell, and then eat something that perks me up and brings me back to half way human again. Drugs work differently for each person. You are a very beautiful girl. I wish you the best.
listen, u r soo amazing to be able to talk about this, i know exactly what ur going thu, and i know how much it hurts, BUT NEVER EVER give up, but it dose get better, i know thats is soooo hard to belive that but it dose, i love u for being abel to do this <3 and i know u can get better, u are a strong, beatiful girl, find something to make u happy, and talk tell then exactly what u feel they will help! GET WELL <3
I know you made this in 08 but i really hope you're feeling better now :) I see the beauty in you that you don't/didn't see just in the way you had the courage to post your feelings publicly. In my opinion, all life is beautiful and that includes you!
I got so depressed then school ended and I was good for a while now lately I feel like I'm worthless. What's going on?. Dam but it's not as bad as before
how can sum 1 thats so beautiful like u be depressed now sum 1 like me its easy 2 be depressed im very ugly fat an retarded an just a worthless pathetic loser that wont amount 2 shit plus im disabled an i got lots of more reasons but i aint shareing with every 1 i really hope 2 find it in me 2 kill myself i ask from every 1 2 plz just bash me so i can have the courage 2 kill myself so plz just write rude comments so hopefully that will push me 2 do it i dont wanna cut i want 2 go the whole way:[
1104ray 3 days ago
I have been going through what u r off and on for about 4 years it seriously sux some days, other days I feel ok but not great, it hurts and a lot of the time I feel alone, unloved, hopeless, I have no direction in life, then it effects school which causes me to worry about what my life is going to be like in a few years I have seriously had to fight through every episode I have encountered and it's really just a war with myself trying to refrain from actually attempting one of the main suicida
8ig8oy134 3 days ago
It will and can get better. Honey, please hang in there. You are such a pretty girl and I would hate to see you do anything bad. I have been fighting the same things since I was 20. You can make it and I feel that you will. I will be thinking of you. Chris.
chrisroxanadrye 6 days ago
Yeah i understand,,, but i got used to it
gamemasterkobs 6 days ago
hey i know its been a while since you posted it. how are you feeling now? have you made it out of it, can you please update us on your status?
SergioVasilen 1 week ago
I have major insomia that is why I am asking
isolationproblem 1 week ago
What sleeping pills do you take?
isolationproblem 1 week ago
You wanna see a psychiatrist love, I saw a psychologist for over a year and she was rubbish for me, she might help others but couldnt get through to me it didnt help me at all, it was cbt, the chemical imbalce in your brain I dont think can be treated with your psychologist, you need to see a psychiatrist and they can give you the right anti depresents to cheer you up, I have no friends cause of my illness, ocd depresstion anxiety i cant leave house im a recluse to m8 stopped meeting me
isolationproblem 1 week ago
@isolationproblem Can I ask how long you've been like this?
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 1 week ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY since september 2006 I remember it like it was yesterday everytime I meeted the 2 friends I had I would be filled with anxiety in town so would have to get drunk before and with them just to be able to meet them, sometimes I was so nerveous I would leave the pub when my m8 was uding the toilet I couldnt tell him what was wrong with me cause he would not have understood
isolationproblem 1 week ago
@isolationproblem That's a long time, sorry to hear that. Doesn't fill me with any hope then as it's only been about 3 months for me.
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 1 week ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Sorry whats been happening to you for 3 months p.m me if you dont wanna post it publicically I know loads of drugs that help and that dont I been there got the T-shirt, some make it worse some make it better p.s my dad is a massive T- rex fan lolzer's
isolationproblem 1 week ago
@isolationproblem Saw the doctor today and he's given me Citalopram. Don't think anything will truly work unless I can eradicate what caused the depression in the first place. Thumbs up to your dad, great taste in music.
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 1 week ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Hi, what caused the depression in the first place do you know? let me know how you get along with this new drug and any other problems you may have
isolationproblem 1 week ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY I so hope citalopram helps you but if your g.p gave it to you then everyone is diffrent I guess but in may 2007 when I finally dared go to the doctors with my weird ocd I thought was goign to section me and he gave me citalopram I took it for 7 weeks
isolationproblem 1 week ago
@isolationproblem Sorry but I tried to p.m you so I added you I got some good advice for you x x x x
isolationproblem 1 week ago
@isolationproblem My problem is the job I do, I hate it and can't face going back. All the tablets in the world won't make things right if I'm still in the job that caused the problem.
How did you get on with citalopram? Not very well I take it.
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 1 week ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Sadley citalopram made things 10 times worse but everyone is diffrent as there are 7 ssri's or several I forget for some ppl citalopram will do wonders for them for me it didnt so I now take 60 m.g prozac, and it was helped by taking another anti d alongside it called clompipramine which isnt a ssri so was safe to take with the prozac I felt as my best then, but the side effects I couldnt wee so had to come off the clomipramine, whats ur job?
isolationproblem 1 week ago
@isolationproblem Sounds like things are pretty rough for you. What caused your problems? I work in a hotel as head of housekeeping and hate it.
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 1 week ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Had the ocd all my life but got bad shortley after I turned 18, I tried loads of drugs mood stabalizer's help even though I dont have bi polar they can help ppl with like your more commom mental health problems, sounds like your working to hard or someone at work is pushing you to the limit, for me though mental health problems run in my family so my dad got it from his mum I got it from him, but my sisters were lucky they got my mum's genes
isolationproblem 5 days ago
@isolationproblem Mental health problems are in my family too, my mum suffered from severe depression and committed suicide when I was just 9.
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 4 days ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY I'm really sorry to hear that, I hope the citalopram works out well for you, is there any other drug there giving you to run along side it like diazipam etc
isolationproblem 4 days ago
@isolationproblem Doctor has also prescribed hydroxyzine hydrochloride to be taken when needed.Suffering today with back pain. How are you coping?
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 3 days ago
@TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY Not to bad with the ocd I have bouts where I need to do it here and there but try my best to fight it, depression is moderate and I still have major sleep problems I have about 4 hours a night, but I used to have 8 hours which is the normal, so I like go to bed at 6.am cause I cant sleep and I am shocked when I wake at 10.am cause it was only 4 hours, I do get some sleeping pills which give me 8 hours but the docs dont like giving them long term
isolationproblem 3 days ago
@isolationproblem I have problems with sleep too lately. Go to bed late because I'm not tired and then feel sleepy all the next day.
TWENTIETHCENTURYBABY 3 days ago
I can understand starting to think I am depressive...had a rough childhood...abused, psychically, emotionally and mentally. Had a really stressful time before Christmas and have not felt good since then. Going through menopause don't know if that is part of it.don't remember mom doing that. I hate my myself and I cannot talk to anyone as I was told no you cannot talk as a child...Like fuck my past life, all that I don't remember is coming back.
SandyeeBa 1 week ago
I understand how you feel. ive lived with this monster most of my life...30 some odd years. its like being totally dead from the inside. i have no friends to talk to reguarding my situation. its only a burden to people around me. i struggle with it alone. i feel im slowly slipping away. the hardest part is the lonliness i feel. people can make there jokes about it all they want...only shows the ignorance. if you need to talk im here.
seaquest67 1 week ago
Comment removed
tattooedmommy1986 2 weeks ago
Lauren,
Sorry to hear that you have to go through this. It's painful, I know. Just know that you are unique. Don't ever commit suicide just because you think you hate yourself so much and you don't have a reason to keep living. You were created for a special purpose, you may not realize it yet but NO ONE can ever REPLACE YOU. Hang in there, you will get through this. Don't stay isolated for very long, try to get out there. Sit in the park, and watch people, or feed ducks. Good luck.
-C
cheerios4canaries 2 weeks ago
i know what u feel dude
gingerockafella 2 weeks ago
...it's the world of reality that makes you love yourself. Look around you and you'll find many people who love you and make you feel good about yourself. It did work a bit for me, eventually. I really want you to cast yourself away from the world which overwhelms your emotions. Please, don't even think of hurting yourself. Life is worth living for. Please don't give up...fight...Just know that we all support you. Be strong...dear
JakeBeing 2 weeks ago in playlist More videos from laurenlivejournal
Dear Friend,
I am sorry I didn't see your video before. I can completely understand what you were going thru at the time you posted this video. I hope you feel much better today. I don't know if my comment can help (because it never worked for me), However, I'd like you to know that we're all here hanging on and I wish you can do the same. I am not going to say it's gonna be OK, but gonna assure you that the world you're living in is a fake one. It creates the feeling of self hatred. It's the...
JakeBeing 2 weeks ago in playlist More videos from laurenlivejournal
I have a she-male friend... she is a prostitute. She tells me to just pretending everything is ok and I am happy, cause if I could meet half of her clients I would learn more about metal problems than any other psychologist could help me. She tells me
LIFE IS LIKE ANAL SEX, ONLY HURTS IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO ENJOY IT, AND DONT TAKE THINGS TOO PERSONAL CAUSE SHIT SOMETIMES HAPPENS.
RonaldBarone 2 weeks ago
I hate those ' IT GETS BETTER" videos like the one I have here on my right... I am not going to watch it.. cause NEVER GETS BETTER.
One time this Haitian pastor told me that didnt have depression, I was possessed, so I started laughing hysterically, so he said that was the spirit manifesting. I told him I had no money and if was ok for him to bill my freecare medical insurance. He gave up and told me I was really bipolar and he couldnt help me. So I said,how about the spirit. He said it is gone
RonaldBarone 2 weeks ago
I developed such sick sense of humor, 1 time this old guy was trying to flirt with me at the YMCA's sauna. So I hold his hand and started to talk about Jesus loves him. I wouldnt let him go, and trust me he tried, but Im a strong guy. With anger issues too.
One time I went to this cruising area, porn video store, where guys having sex in the cabinets, so I went to one and started screaming saying a suppose guy had a gun.Everybody panicked and started run,some were naked, and I got beat up later
RonaldBarone 2 weeks ago
I was in this relationship with another bipolar, we both had more issues than time magazine, and one time he asked me... why do you love me so much? So I said... cause you are the only one I have been with that has worse life than me. He was like, but I am gay and ppl too like you. So I said... but I wasnt adopted.
I know those help lines have caller ID. Cause every time when I call they say before I open my mouth. RON GO TAKE YOUR HAPPY PILLS.
I am so depressed I need attention all the time.
RonaldBarone 2 weeks ago
Look I cant help you ... I am fucking bipolar and like 30 min ago I was down and now I am up... its crazy so the only way I think I can make better and make a difference is by telling jokes.
I thought you were going to talk about your fat ugly friend Megan, but I can tell depression doesnt care about looks.
One time I was trying to kill myself and I though ppl would say no. They said... JUMP . I got so mad that I grabbed a metal bar and started swing it if I was He-man. Real stuff.
RonaldBarone 2 weeks ago
suck it up u whore, take pill smoke a joint and stfu about your "depression"
UncleBobbyBkklol 2 weeks ago
@UncleBobbyBkklol
what makes her a whore....this is a real issue...people feel this way all the time..why would you watch this if YOU don't have problems...real nice UncleBobby sounds like a redneck name..you probably were on of them screwing your cousins..maybe that is your problem..
tattooedmommy1986 2 weeks ago
@tattooedmommy1986 uh huhuhuhuh, ur husband died for a bullshit cause thats hilarious. have fun crying about it while im sitting here gettin kicks out your seriousness :3.
BTW he deserves to die, i guarantee hes done fucked up shit in that country to innocent people. disgusting.
UncleBobbyBkklol 2 weeks ago
My heart is breaking for you. I was diagnosed bipolar 5yrs ago after a suicide attempt.I actually spent 3months in a mental hosp last yr. I've always been so ashamed of my disorder and even as an adult, Ive been teased. Ur a brave girl for doing this.Be proud of urself. U have helped me realize maybe I dont have 2 b ashamed.But if i cd give u any advice it wd b, know that this episode WILL eventually go away.But it will also come back but that too will go away
fallinangel011 3 weeks ago
it sounds crazy, but it makes sense. if you didnt know what happiness felt like, how would you know what depression feels like? the same is true vice-versa. you just have to keep searching for what you love, and be patient. You will eventually find it and it will all be worth it. I know its a hard concept to understand when your down, but please hang in there
yamahaing7737 3 weeks ago
what about your brain? your brain is just a bundle of common elements, these same elements can be found in a common rock on the ground. How is it that something purely physical, and so simple, can cause you all these terrible emotions? Please stop taking the medicines, they are most likely doing more harm than good. I have been in a similar state of mind as you, and i promise it gets better. The more pain and depression you feel, the more joy and happiness is opened for your future
yamahaing7737 3 weeks ago
I hate to see you hurt this way. I have been there so many, many times. I have to watch what music that I listen to. I have been on all kinds of meds. I have been off them for two yrs. and I feel somewhat better. You are a beautiful young lady avoid the haters on here. I would take your pain if it were possible. Please respond to my post and I might be able to help you. I had five yrs of counseling every week. Please, don't forget you can always call 911 I'm 65 some wisdom behind me.
Jakeman219 4 weeks ago
When you said you hated your heart because it keeps beating, I knew, for the first time, someone understands me. I would not wish this pain on anyone....and you are so young and beautiful...you remind me of my daughter. I would take your pain if I could, but let's just believe that we will get better, okay? I'm holding your hand in my heart.
Seansplaceoregon 1 month ago
you are beautiful :) thats all i will say
infinitelimitation 1 month ago
Hi, I have MMD too, nothing to look forward to all day except for the mail. I lost my best friend recently because she couldn't handle my life. I am taking Cymbalta and Abilify. I've lost interest in everything, sleep all day, and was recently hospitalized for suicide ideation. I shop too, online. I have a wonderful husband, but no friends, and only my mom is alive. No other family members. I'm very isolated. You are brave to make this video. I wish we could be friends. ~Molly
blackberrybunny 1 month ago
You are an extraordinarily beautiful woman, inside AND out. Don't let life take away your beauty. Reclaim it, and make it what you want it to be. Best wishes.
jjobie 1 month ago
I hope you have found your happy place. I know you have, you are beautiful, and you will make it, just like me, I'm sailing in the same ship but have no one to talk to and no friends that I can go to and never have had some one there. Talk to me if you are still there, I feel the same.
fricegoth 1 month ago
Guys come and talk to us other depressed fellows on Mapofmates :)
indafozunot 1 month ago 5
I have been very depressed, hated myself, and wanted to die...you are not alone. Plz hang in there!!! You're so pretty and I can tell you're smart from your video. When did you start believing otherwise? Whenever you did,,its a lie. You are worth it!!!
elizcr111 1 month ago
Thank you for your time...I'm right there with you. Hang in there...
chefshan1981 1 month ago
Where do you live? What state/city? I feel depressed and want to kill myself often, maybe we could help each other!
Maloperverso 1 month ago
Saint Dymfna, please pray for this woman. (St D. is the patroness of people with mental problems)
Archangel866 1 month ago
Much hope and love to you. I so so so understand. i'm considering ECT myself. xo
URABombShell 1 month ago
I love you. You are beautiful inside and out, And I understand what you are going thru cuz i feel the same.
growler5711 1 month ago
You're a god damn superstar. You are so brave in every single way, you're beautiful, inside and out, and no matter what you think, it's going to be OK. I know you can get through this.
rosalielove11 1 month ago
i was recently diagnosed with mdd. i can completely sympathize with what you're going through. you can make it through this. just take it day by day.
dreezytingz 1 month ago
psychology addict here if you wear bright colors and look at the sun that'll help too u gotta use everything you can to help make you happy because no one else can truly make you happy but yourself.
navywife211 1 month ago
Start out with just a grape or a orange... Something small nd once you realize your hungry eat everything in the house like I do lol... Girl I love you and I don't even know you( not lesbian by the way) lol I can just relate and I can see your a good person you just need love girl that's all.... Email me at navywife211@gmail.com if you need anything or have any questions cuz I know how it feels when your that deep... By the way get some vitamin c in you it makes you feel better and psychology a
navywife211 1 month ago
Happiness and freedom. Just like everyone else.... You may have lost motivation and you feel like giving up and you just can't breathe because the darkness around you is so thick but keep in mind that someone does love you. Look to God if you want... Look to find more friends. Look to keep your butt busy. And to not eat .. Girl if u knew what that does to your body! Your body needs certain things to survive nd if it isn't getting it it feeds off your organs. So Idc if your not hungry. Eat some
navywife211 1 month ago
I have PTSD/ major depressive episodes. And I have felt that way just about every single day of my life so far since I was 12 years old. One thing you got to know is we obviously care about you. You are obviously an amazing beautiful person but your just lost. Whatever it was that put you in that place fight back. I do it every day, I have to... Or else I'll give in to my insanity. If you don't then that would mean it won, it defeated you. Do you want that? I hope not because you deserve happin
navywife211 1 month ago
try poetry,like i do,opendiary,com,poetprince39
carsrule78 1 month ago
hot
funtcucker1 1 month ago
I'm so late. I just want you to know you're gorgeous! I love you're eyes, I wish mines were that big! Let me tell you something, I have depression. It fucking sucks, that's the truth. But after every storm is a rainbow. Piece of advice to you, keep taking your medication, when you feel like you're gonna break down..go to someone your close too. Or even go to the hospital. I don't let myself stay alone when I breakdown cus I get really bad. You're so worth it! I wish I can take my own advice.
AngiexOx0 1 month ago
Comment removed
AngiexOx0 1 month ago
i want to die to :( but i dont want to kill myself cuse when i die i want to be happy in heaven not hell :../ there no way out exept death
Xstonerxhigh420x 1 month ago
if you think you life is over,what do you even care? you have nothing to lose, so start doing what you want to do,period! you have nothing to lose..
850martita 1 month ago
I hope you're feeling better by now. Hang in there. There's always light at the end of the tunnel. I can promise you that.
Yrhp8268 1 month ago
the depression project
TheDepressionProject 2 months ago
Ive seen alot of videos where people believe they are insane, i am not a professional so i cant say you are not. Being that your case may be organic meaning that you can not change what is happening to you without the help of medicine. Many others i believe are just being pushed to their limits by the people around them. On the other hand i have seen many people for the most part feeling sorry for themselves; grow up. you have to change what u dont like in ur life cause no one else will.
weedreamer89 2 months ago
you guys are obviously not happy with your lives. Im there about every other day. However, i change something. I know that depression can actually be seen on an MRI, but does this mean you are stuck this way; i hope not. Theres only one way to find out; try something new, just do something you normally wouldnt do. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. Go on a bike ride. something active. Take control of your lives. You have one life to live then you will all die. If you feel trapped then get out in other ways.
weedreamer89 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
you guys are obviously not happy with your lives. Im there about every other day. However, i change something. I know that depression can actually be seen on an MRI, but does this mean you are stuck this way; i hope not. Theres only one way to find out; try something new, just do something you normally wouldnt do. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. Go on a bike ride. something active. Take control of your lives. You have one life to live then you will all die. If you feel trapped then get out in other ways.
weedreamer89 2 months ago
I am in the same boat my dear *Hugs* it is very hard and I feel the way you do every single day, it really does suck, but keep positive, because it will get better <3
therainbowaffair 2 months ago
I love u hon hang in there please oh gosh I cannot deal with this i am going crazy i need help
sarahata22 2 months ago
i am going through a major depression and my husband wants me to cook clean and serve him I cannot even deal with him when I try to tell him that I am having issues he just ignores it. I dont want to kill myself but it is killing me every minute that i have to smile at him knowing that i hate him he is the one that ruined my life
sarahata22 2 months ago
you are beautiful hang in there. I have problems because of my looser husband. Now nothing can go wrong in my life I cannot handle the stress i want to just cuddle in my corner and sleep
sarahata22 2 months ago
and i feel the same way about how your like I don't want to kill myself, but i don't want to keep living like this. :/ i'm sorry you're going through this I can't even deal with it.
JesicaYesicaRosa 2 months ago
I would be all it gonna be okay but i know to you it's going to bullshit i am going through the same sorta thing but i don't has a therapist. I do have a best friend that is going into pre-med to be a psychologist in aug so that helps.
JesicaYesicaRosa 2 months ago
@JesicaYesicaRosa please get a therapist or you will end up being like i am. I cannot deal with it anymore period
sarahata22 2 months ago
I feel so bad for you. I wish you could feel as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Trust me. YOU ARE LOVED!!!
drtwatman 2 months ago
I was really depressed for years but I didn't want to kill myself then eventually I just said fuck it. Now I just don't give a shit.
jneal1221 2 months ago
I know exactly how you feel, well I'm not going to say EXACTLY because you never know. But it sure doesn't seem like it can get any worse than this. Just today, a car zoomed by really close to me and it took all my strength not to throw myself in front of it. I pray that I will have a seizure or a heart attack or something in my sleep so I will die. It's horrible. I know. And I just want you to know I will pray for you, that you get better. No one deserves to live like this.
0110Maddie 2 months ago
I can use telepathy,send and receive up to few kilometer.
VinkoRajic 2 months ago
This was done several years ago, how are you now?
fuzzyheadinfo 2 months ago
i wish your okay nowadays....i can't really remember when was the last time i got depressed, but i remembered i started calling God as Dad...Whatever whenever wherever i got messed up, i cried out loud my heart asking Dad "help me understand and accept things " and Dad do helps. ......................................... Thanks Dad.
buvanlo1 3 months ago
You are so beautiful.
Can somebody write what she said? Because I cant understand English by hear.
dikasymov 3 months ago 8
your really pretty by the way and i want to let you know it is normal its not you it your brain it can get better and it will just keep holding out
makemeupplez 3 months ago
Yes please don't give up, have you thought about gardening or some type of hobby that you can vent your energies into that brings you back. I think the drugs will only give you a mute feeling and the peaks and valleys are what life is. Also confide in friends and family and it should be coming round soon. How about a pet? Cats and dogs can help relief stress. Good luck too you
Pukkpukkpukk 3 months ago
You are very attractive
jwhippleful 3 months ago
I wish i knew you in person. Youre strong enough to talk about what youre going through. Im not. Its so hard to tell anyone. And talking to you seems like a possibility. Someone who understands.
MissKristina07 3 months ago
any one with depression needs a lot of support and this ilness should always be taken seriously.being surrounded by people who care about you is essential. yes i too suffer bouts of depression some worse than others but please when you wish bad things for yourself please speak to someone .i know it can be diffulcult but you really must. best wishes to you
doh1959 3 months ago
Depression is terrible and there is almost nothing that can be said to ease the torment that you have to go through on a daily basis. All I can say is keep fighting and better days will come.
AColonDashSix 3 months ago
Try hynose again and again, that's what I'm trying these days.
Mlanglaism 3 months ago
Try hypnose
Mlanglaism 3 months ago
:( please keep strong and don't give up!
misanthropikbunny 3 months ago
You are so beautiful baby girl. I have battled with depression for years. My only real hope has been the LORD and medication. It's not about being religious, it about being real and crying out to GOD to send you help, someone who understands and will encourage you.People who have never had this do not understand how bad this feels. Try to get good rest, eat good, trying taking walks. Having my pets have really helped too. I will be praying for you. You are not alone. You are going to be okay.
cinnot777 3 months ago
ohh darling you are such a beautifull open wonderfull girl and i know this place you are in very well too ...I wich I good give you just a warm hug ...And i know when you are feeling this way even that won,t help .
It.s so difficult too find words for you now or help .
Anyway ,Lauren from holland a big huge hug ..and....IT WILL PASS(you cant believe it now) But it REALY will..... COURAGE....
mirabelle7able 3 months ago
i am right there with you believe me end stage deppression thts what they call it in me
yes life sucks having been in this whole hellish existenc since 1990 everything fails i have taken every med there is no they dont work
right now i feel so very bad and hurt so much i have done suicide 4 times already i wish i could help you hold you and do something to help you are not alone you are not alone
sstpnwf1 3 months ago
cant believe she said that... no professional should ever talk like this
tranquil87 3 months ago
i have major depression . the meds do not work . i am not able to work at all anymore and my memory is failing . my only hope now is shock treatment . i never ever would have thought i would go for that but now i long for it. i identify with you more then i have anyone at least as you are in this video. i think your also prove that depression hits anyone . You are so great looking it shows that yip even the great looking people suffer from this shit.
bill739 3 months ago
@bill739 i am 19 and i have been diagnosed with chronic manic depression for almost 12 years. the meds do not work. they are mainly like a placebo. i am NOT saying to anyone reading this to stop taking your meds that is completely wrong. they do not work for me. I am in counseling and i find that helps sooo much
xsarabearx1 3 months ago
ITS VERY NORMAL TO HAVE LOWES...HANG IN THEIR, THINGS ARENT ALWAYS SO SHITY. YOU CAN PULL THREW...I DID
RAINMAN1991K 3 months ago
look, i've been on the verge of suicide because of depression many times. stay strong and keep at it. life gets better. don't give up, give it all you got, and no less. hope you make the right choice.
R6896M 3 months ago
i had mild depression and that was really hard to deal with. you're such a strong human being. i hate how you don't see how hot you are. i'm not just saying that. live sweetheart because while things are shitty right now, you WILL eventually come out the other side and those wonderful feelings will come back like they did for me. im so happy i didn't succeed at killing myself. it will be better xxxx
danndan6 3 months ago
Its so scary isnt it, I was thinking of ways to end it, and tuesday I just started trying to stab myself, trying to stick knives in my body, but they were breaking so I tried my neck, someone came behind and stopped me, it was so scary, I really went for it and cant understand why I am still here, I feel like Im going downhill with no brakes, I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better but I am thinking of you, you have a really nice personality, Your young + pretty, X
richat56 3 months ago
I know how you feel. When you spoke I heard myself in you. You are not alone.
TheFuschiaTulip 4 months ago
saw a flashback of my life wen i heard u...after many years i got reasons to b very happy wiv life but i dont know y i fil like m breaking off and falling into darkness...like i have no expection wiv life anymore... m trying to find what it is..gues hav to deal with it..hope it gets better for u girlie
mauritianangel90 4 months ago
I wonder how you are feeling today?
writ121 4 months ago
I've seen menatal health professionals about it but on the day of my appointment i was so pumped up with adrenaline that i seemed to them to be ok and i thought that i would be ok. The next day i was in despair. I was crying for no reason which lasted about half an hour and then i tried self harming with a fire-lighter thing which has got a serated metal edge. I was pushing that into my skin and the pain released endorphins but afterwards the depression still came back. It is really difficult.
sarahparsons87 4 months ago
From the things you've said and the way that you've talked i sense you are ever fighting against a sense of complete hopelessness which is something i can definitely relate to. The depression is so painful that the idea of taking your own life in some way or seriously inuring yourself in some way would be less painful but also it sometimes makes you feel something at all even if it is just pain. I really don't know why this happens to me but it keeps on happening now ever since March 2011.
sarahparsons87 4 months ago
hi lauran ur awesome lol...i actually also suffered from this problem but well i just wanted tell u that don't leaves your hopes.one day you will get well.please also you can contact me if you would like ...i really like to talk to people and help them as much as i can...and yea love u lauran dont worry...god bless you.....
tannysinghs4 4 months ago
R u ok now?, I dont like to see you like this, but i feel like you do now. :(
itsCARLDOUGLAS 4 months ago
I had a depression and please just believe in your self cause you're beautifull and just do not listen to other people calling you names or anything. Just don't give up!
rayafranzen 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I Do have MDD since more than 15 yrs, I am 38 now, and still dealing with it, medications, therapy, and stop the medications after almost two years . I will pray for you, I know exactly how you feel about that anger with you heart still working. But please please don't give up. We all here at least I am. please write to me I am hear to listen, to love, to try my best to comfort you. God bless you. bello_marino@yahoo.com My name is Linda
Lindaavatar 4 months ago
I Do have MDD since more than 15 yrs, I am 38 now, and still dealing with it, medications, therapy, and stop the medications after almost two years . I will pray for you, I know exactly how you feel about that anger with you heart still working. But please please don't give up. We all here at least I am. please write to me I am hear to listen, to love, to try my best to comfort you. God bless you. bello_marino@yahoo.com
Lindaavatar 4 months ago
my birth cirtificate is an appology from the condom factory
woo2fly21 4 months ago
Lauren, you are a beautiful courageous young woman. I’m older and a male; I’ve been bi-polar for longer than you and my experience is that is DOES get better. Unfortunately, there is no “magic” pill. You doctor may have to try several RX’s or combinations before the mood swings get less severe. In the meantime, you may question how long treatment will take... don't give up, the right combination of Meds will come and you'll smile again!
Picklesong05 4 months ago
Its so sad to see you going through what ive been through...
just by watching you i know exactly how your feeling...and its a feeling words cant even begin to describe. Fight through it. and i know you may not be religious, but jesus saved me. at first it may seem like your talking to yourself but if you call out to god he will answer your prayers, i promise you that. <3
sunchild94 4 months ago
Things will get better for you. You are stronger than you think. You are not alone. I admire you because you are so brave! xxx
nicola0302 4 months ago
i tried the sleeping pills thing.. glade i woke up because it got better with time.. but the feelings keep on coming back out of nowhere and i dont know why. hope we all get better.. and this shitty weather is making it worse. take care of youself.. promise it will be okay again.
romys2097 4 months ago
Hey I'm going through what u r goin through now. Look at my videos to see my story
HHH622 4 months ago
Hey I got over it too! I'm just sad that there isn't any good advice out there to overcome it :(
There theres hope for sure :)
hudder92 4 months ago
Hey I got over it too! I'm just sad that there isn't any good advice out there to overcome it :(
hudder92 4 months ago
i know exactly how you feel. i noticed this video is from a while ago so i dont know if you're still checking these comments but im right with you. and i feel like killin myself all the time too. like i have NO purpose in life whatsoever. i dont even know why god has me here when i cant do anything right and im fuckin worthless. i cried with you in this video cuz everything you said i heard myself say too. let us know how you're doing
ShiZi999 5 months ago
Girl ,feel soo sad.I`m crying for you because i get depressed like you.When i am alone i just break down & start crying uncontrolably.My hands shake,heart races,it soon passes like a storm but i feel lousy for a while after.Wish i was there next to you because i know i can pull you out of it.But i can`t & that is what hurts me the most.Find someone to be with you.It will still hurt but not as bad.Please write me anytime ,i will be there.Feel so lousy that i can`t do any better.Big hugg. Marie
underloved1 5 months ago
omg I so am in this spot. Its like I am looking in the mirror. I see this was done a while ago I am so hoping things got better for you.....i need hope
princess4u2nv73 5 months ago
I have dysthymia myself. I was on Wellbutrin for a while, but it did not help. And I understand what you mean by not wanting to live this way.
I just wish I was as pretty as you are. I got smacked by the ugly stick. =)
Scarscub 5 months ago
I do not deny your suffering, however, is it possible that medicalizing, and having your life issues reduced to "discreet" labels, has maybe done more harm than good. Maybe its time you stand back from the painting, as you might be too close to see the forest for the trees. If a medical approach to your existential pains isn't working, and the drugs you are given might actually be exaccerbating your condition, wouldn't reworking your conceptualizations and perceptions be in order. Hard work!
1thebabyalex 5 months ago
You are Beautiful.....
PromiseMe64 5 months ago 41
Not sure if you read your posts on here anymore. But if you do just keep thinking it will pass. Try all veggies and fruit... Juicing has helped me tons...... Just try it......pzzzz
1964BIP 5 months ago
I've been like you all my life. Didn't think anyone was like me. But I've been like this my whole life. For the first time I am looking at what I eat. I'm also on zolof the first time ever.
1964BIP 5 months ago
you are incredibly brave... you will get through this, i did. you've still got hope, please dont give up.
LittleBlueStar13 5 months ago 17
@LittleBlueStar13 How did u coped with it? Ive been on therapy but it was useless.
VeggiePyromaniac 4 months ago
@VeggiePyromaniac sorry for the late reply, been without the internet for a little while lol yeah therapy did not do anything for me either, i still struggle with it now and again and if ur not careful you end up getting sucked into a viscous circle wehre you cant feel 'normal' unless your depressed. but i think actually doing stuff, like making the effort to go out with family and friends, talking to them and do stuff for fun really helped ease out of that circle.
LittleBlueStar13 4 months ago
@VeggiePyromaniac im not gonna lie its not easy "doing stuff" when u cant feel anything or when you see that theres no point in stuff. i mean for me now i cant get out of my house because i dont feel safe if that makes sense but it helps talking to a freind and having them help u with stuff. you feel 'safer' with urself and life after a while. thing with depression is that it never really goes away it can creep back into your life really easily but you've got to know how to deal with it :)
LittleBlueStar13 4 months ago
@LittleBlueStar13 Thanks for the advice. I dont know if I have depression though, I think its more like in one moment im extremely happy and excited and then I feel like shit. They say that in depression you cant enjoy absolutely nothing but if for example u give a cool concert ticket while Im feeling down Im pretty much gonna enjoy it so I dont know if u can call that depression, its really confusing ya know.
VeggiePyromaniac 4 months ago
@LittleBlueStar13 hey! omg I can't believe theres someone else that got over it too....see its possible :)
hudder92 4 months ago
@hudder92 lol yeah it takes hard work and effort though! its a tough, long and rocky road but its worth it!!
LittleBlueStar13 4 months ago
@LittleBlueStar13 hey! omg I can't believe theres someone else that got over it too....see its possible :)
hudder92 4 months ago
How can someone so hot be so sad?
Thevideoclown 5 months ago
cheer up...dr morse is the answer. Its not you, its just the things you been eating...
0Pontifex0Maximus0 5 months ago
I know it sucks.
How about this?
You are a lovely looking young lady, with a mind that analyzes things in a certain way.
Personally I don't believe in the drugs. They are over done.
Try believing that you are the normal one, and everyone else is deceived by the shroud of our culture and media. You are one of the special ones -
You just need to find another. It won't be hard.
Don't be scared. Be strong.
One day it will all seem worth while. Just believe in yourself.
dbc102 5 months ago
I know that feeling sweetheart, I'm taking 375mg of effexor and I take modafinil to have some energy to actually do stuff instead of just sitting doing nothing - I have one friend. At the very best unless I take other drugs to combat it (unprescribed, such as modafinil or tramadol). I've overdosed more times than I can count without caring if I die, overdosed with deliberate intent to die and suffered (thankfully temporary) liver damage from it. So far it has only got worse for me.
ninjatoothpaste 5 months ago
@ninjatoothpaste But, you adapt, take medication, grow stronger and learn to operate and cling on without looking down - the second you look down your grip loosens and you fall. It's hard, you don't make many friends and the ones you do make are like you and often not as fun because they're suffering too. For the sufferer it literally is the worst disease that it's possible to have. But it gives you a perspective that most people will never have, and at times and in some ways that's good.
ninjatoothpaste 5 months ago
@ninjatoothpaste Worst scenario is you try to kill yourself and end up surviving with a disability because of it, maybe even end up even more mentally screwed up. I have a stomach ulcer, my brother has crohn's disease as well and both of us have those on top of our depression, I take antidepressants to take the edge off, my brother gets painkillers for his crohns and takes more than he should because they take the edge off his depression, I used to be a massive drug addict (heroin etc).
ninjatoothpaste 5 months ago
@ninjatoothpaste But even out of the darkest depression, when you've reached the very bottom, there are options that beat suicide. I turned to drugs, and then after years of addiction to painkillers and having had just about every drug there is from heroin to research chemicals I finally decided after my latest attempted suicide to take antidepressants. I'm stable, don't know how long for and I still dip quite low, but if it gets too bad I'll take any drug going if it keeps me from suicide.
ninjatoothpaste 5 months ago
@ninjatoothpaste I'm in the grips of another episode myself so I come across as a little negative and I don't advise taking drugs that your doctor hasn't prescribed, just telling the truth though, I probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't been a drug addict (ironic huh!). You'll have to suffer with it all your life but you do get breaks from it, sometimes many months at a time, don't know about years but maybe years for some :D Also, people with REAL depression tend to be more intelligent!
ninjatoothpaste 5 months ago
@ninjatoothpaste Okay, I realize I'm typing too much now, but I just have to say how much I hate it when people who don't suffer with MDD think it's the same thing as their couple of weeks of mild depression because they've been dumped or whatever, it simply isn't the same thing! Even when you lose a relative to cancer your grief doesn't last for years and years, major depression is the absolute worst disease you can EVER have. Simple. See Robert Sapolsky's lecture on depression! It's great!
ninjatoothpaste 5 months ago
i feel for you mann i mean women lol
SM97MIAH 5 months ago
Comment removed
danykiller18 6 months ago
Yes its bad. I have climbed through tons of the same crap. Yes I made it out of it ! Thanks for posting this...I feel less alone and more awake. Yes I still suffer, but at low low levels that are real easy to manage,its still there, waiting in shadows, So I keep a strong will, an alert attude and cut it off at the pass if I see the enemy coming. I had all kinds of treatment. I basically act n function on a high level as a "Well" person in public in front of peopl I live "Above" the disorder.
MMBFEC 6 months ago
ur cute :) cheer up
Pent5HT 6 months ago
wow what a couragous thing to do...im a mental health professional here in canada and I was trying to see a true story like yours...it is very insightfull and I thank you, because I will be better at helping ppl in the same situation. And don`t think your alone, theyre are sooo many like you, and so many suffer in silence because of the stigma. thanks!!!!!!
wyzechick 6 months ago
I know just how u feel
You are beautiful <3
I remember the first time i wanted to kill myself...their is nothing scarier than being afraid of yourself....because you can never escape...but you can change
i know this was a while ago and i hope ur getting better now...keep thinking positive beautiful <3
9MadZz5 6 months ago
you cannot predict the future. you dont know what is going to happpen. Stay as positive as can be. Its hard. extremely hard to do. but its possible to get through it. Look to meet someone new. Start bloging on a website, meet new people to stay intouch with. You wont feel as alone. This was recorded 3 years ago, so i hope your on good path now.
crashtestdummii 6 months ago
Try a spiritualist healer ,spiritualist church don't even charge you !!
59zappa 6 months ago
you are stunning! you create your own reality , think positive ,project positive and positive will reflect!
boobsticles 6 months ago
it's all good when life gets you down, go to a gas station bathroom and just pee wherever. No one will notice and you'll feel like a fancy duke!
powerofone321 6 months ago
This is so sad. I really hope you are feeling much better now. I totally understand this type of severe depression and have lived with it for many years. You're right, it does totally suck and is really the worst kind of hell. For me, it feels like a chemical imbalance; because I can be in the middle of the hell, and then eat something that perks me up and brings me back to half way human again. Drugs work differently for each person. You are a very beautiful girl. I wish you the best.
LindaObermeit 6 months ago
listen, u r soo amazing to be able to talk about this, i know exactly what ur going thu, and i know how much it hurts, BUT NEVER EVER give up, but it dose get better, i know thats is soooo hard to belive that but it dose, i love u for being abel to do this <3 and i know u can get better, u are a strong, beatiful girl, find something to make u happy, and talk tell then exactly what u feel they will help! GET WELL <3
BLACKinkish 6 months ago
I feel better just because now I know I'm not the only one in this situation..
quince8800 6 months ago
I know you made this in 08 but i really hope you're feeling better now :) I see the beauty in you that you don't/didn't see just in the way you had the courage to post your feelings publicly. In my opinion, all life is beautiful and that includes you!
cjmcallister89 6 months ago
I got so depressed then school ended and I was good for a while now lately I feel like I'm worthless. What's going on?. Dam but it's not as bad as before
josh71111 7 months ago
Depression does suck...it's not easy and not many, actually it feels like no one understands...for some of us there is no doctor you can go to.
riversbliss 7 months ago
I know how you feel!! It's going to be ok!!
onewaysofly 7 months ago