Update - Falling off the bipolar wagon?

[ericjarviscpa22]

I know it isn't exactly the same, but getting sober is kind of like this. I am relieved I don't have hang overs, black outs, and get in trouble; but life is so predictable and boring now.

[Drhamburgerhill]

Those pills made me feel like that to. i couldnt figure out if that's how ordinary people feel? or if the pills were making more dull then them? ..ordinary was terrible awakening for me....lol my mom said i missed the fire that i've always walked in...as painful and unmanagable as it is ...it drives me.....its my power.

[kayjo61]

I see myself in you so much. I started taking black cohosh and blue cohosh and Dr. Christophers herbs called Female reproductive Formula and Changease Formula to stablize my hormones. I have also worked with wheatgrass juice which is helping ALOT. Don't use foods that have hormones in them like dairy foods. They will effect you a lot too. I have started walking/jogging as well. I am over weight. Rest, Run, listen to happy music, upbeat audio books. Best to you.

[andimbipolar]

You ONLY time to get off the Meds when the DOCTOR says its okay AND you have learned how to stay centered. Or HOW to cope with the mood swings. ITS NOT FOR EVERYONE. Group Therapy will help with the learning curve - Good Luck, Waring

[crAckZ111]

Sounds like you miss your manic stages. From what I hear that's why some jump off there meds.

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@crAckZ111 I was missing them at the time. Luckily I came to my senses and realized going off meds was not the best idea.

[TJMK2007]

i just ran across some of your videos and i am in tears. just b/c i see myself in you (i'm sure you've seen i've 'liked' a few already). watching this one hit home. i'm still trying to figure all this bipolarity stuff out and i think when the meds are 'working', you hit the nail on the head. i almost 'MISS' the rollercoaster. because that's what i have/had been used to. 'ordinary life', as you called it, seems just...well, blah.

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@TJMK2007 I was talking to my psychiatrist about this very thing and she said we may adjust my meds and lower them to see if I can have more "variance" in my moods without becoming manic or depressed. I'm not sure if we will actually do it but it is something we talked about.

[TJMK2007]

@BipolarStateofBeing curious...did you find when you came 'down' from the mania, you went thru hypo-mania on the way or did it just go straight to baseline or thereabouts? i'm just coming out of my most manic episode to date (which may be nothing compared to others) and am experiencing hypo symptoms but rapid cycling too. so not fun.

and was curious...took a look at your blog. AWESOME! still reading. :) is there a way to contact you on there without publicly posting?

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@TJMK2007 You know, I'm really not sure if I went through hypomania when coming down...I don't think I did...I think my manic symptoms just became less and less until they were gone. But I get very confused when going through episodes so I could be mistaken, looking back. Thanks for checking out my other blog! The best way to contact me is here through youtube. I get the messages sent to my email address so I check them every day.

[Lisaserene1]

Ive been on a roller coaster too for a yr! My dads death..well It helped set me into a psychotic manic episode. first ever! Im accepting Im bi polor bit by bit..n ive been smoking weed and whatev....

[Lisaserene1]

Ive been on a roller coaster too for a yr! My dads death..well It helped set me into a psychotic manic episode. first ever! Im accepting Im bi polor bit by bit

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@Lisaserene1 I know it can be tough sometimes!

[akjopeneyes]

@BipolarStateOfBeing...I would rely on those you love and who care about you to help with the fight of finding vices to help you" feel"...I know for me family has always been my lifeline...you are in my thoughts and prayers...and thank you so much again for sharing:)

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@akjopeneyes Thank you for your thoughts. I am going to try to go without alcohol this weekend....we'll see how I do.

[akjopeneyes]

I am type 2 and deal with the lows all of the time, sometimes get a break for a day or two and am normal, or the really great few days a year I am hypo-manic...but most of the time it is a daily fight with my mind's seemingly endless suicidal thoughts. So, I too turned to wiskey and cigarettes, first time in 16 years to numb the depression and silence my head. When I have those rare normal days the vices are nowhere to be found,but that low is always around the corner so the fight continues.

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@akjopeneyes It seems like it can be so hard to quit once you start. I wish I'd never started smoking so I wouldn't be fighting the cravings so much now. It's like no matter how much I tell myself I shouldn't I still want to, it's a struggle.

[Snabelfaen]

Zyprexa stops the psychotic episodes, and remove paranoia, but i dosen't help against depression, and manias comes with Zyprexa as well, but not psychotic depressive or manic.

If you drink alcohol, or using stimulants drugs like speed, crack or cocaine, then Zyprexa wont work. I am a bi-polar drugaddict and my addition goes on Benzodiasepines and opiates to quiet my brain i mixed or manic states and used speed against depression, but that nly made me insane, but i been off drugs for 19 monts

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@xtrizsel I know what you're saying, it's definitely better to be stable, I do not want to go back to messing around with meds, that is no fun trying this and that and hoping it works. I guess I'm lucky that I have found something that works!

[IChoseTheRedPill]

i'm a new subscriber... i used to medicate with drugs and alcohol too... it wasn't pretty... if it weren't for my wife grabbing the bull by the horns, i would have never been diagnosed schizoaffective. i have to be honest, i still use alcohol from time to time... i have a stash of brandy. you seem very cool, be careful, don't let it get hold of you

peace2U

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@IChoseTheRedPill Thanks, I agree, I am going to try to get some more will power and not rely on the alcohol so much.

[al75ish]

I've been stable for 9 months after 17 years of hell. I can't believe I'm still alive. It is still hard staying stable, but it slowly gets better as time passes. If you make a mistake so what? Just start again the next day. It's the only thing you can do. Don't be too hard on yourself , being stable for 3 months is a great achievement :)

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@al75ish Thank you :)

[updownjunkie]

Great video. Wow! you have really hit on something important here. Bipolar is very seductive. It is not strange to feel like you do. It's really hard to tell where we start and the bipolar stops and vice versa. The alcohol you're drinking is actually lessening the effect of your medication which is why you feel better with it and more like your old self. What you need to do is a self-inventory. I have to do this all the time. Ask yourself why you got on the medicine in the first place. What we

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@updownjunkie I never thought it would be this difficult...staying stable. But now I think back to the last time I was stable (before I began meds) and I remember I felt the same way, just sorta blah and bored. I wasn't drinking a lot then though. That's the biggest thing I know I need to stay away from is the constant alcohol use. But it is so tempting when it least it gives me that happy little buzz so that I am not so blah.

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@stillhippie LOL, your comment made me laugh "even the cats are depressed". Funny stuff. I know you are right though about the drinking. It has only been about a month but its already to where I look forward to the night coming just so I can have some beers. :( That is bad, definitely need to nip this in the bud. But it doesn't help that we are currently staying with my dad and he also drinks every day (night). Hard to stop when someone else is doing it right in front of you.

[blacklilly2010]

Sending lots of hugs!! Keep on fighting!

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@blacklilly2010 Thank you! I could use some hugs right now!

[CodeV114]

yeah i know how it is, sometimes the need to just feel something starts to become like a dim light you just cant seem to grasp. I think that's the hardest part about describe how hard it is to keep taking the meds everyday. Sometimes I wonder how I would be on other meds but I am pretty sure I have tried them all. Well anyways I think it's good you are staying stable it shows a lot of courage and willpower. I miss the manic side as well at times, I dont know if sometimes i feel more depressed on

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@CodeV114 I know, who knew staying stable could be so hard!?

[RapidCycling07]

This video really hit home with me. It's funny how the mind can be. When going through the mood swings there is a degree of excitement (especially when you are closer to the manic end), yet that same unpredictability is what leads to the desire for stability (when depression gets involved). There are certain patterns I tend to fall into. When I am "stable" for a while, I get bored and want to party. This partying then begins to occur too often and all sorts of other problems occur.

[RapidCycling07]

@RapidCycling07 Then I'll "hit bottom" and crash into depression. That usually lasts for a little bit until one day I get inspired and want to turn my life around and become healthy and have a fresh start...then stability occurs again...the cycle continues on and on and on...you look hot in this video btw

[BipolarStateofBeing]

@RapidCycling07 I know when we are riding the rollercoaster, we want to be stable and when we are stable we want to be on the rollercoaster...grass is always greener on the other side huh!?!