a son goes to his dad and asks dad what does bitch mean? it means girls, what does shit mean? oh that means to shave, what does dick mean? that means jacket then he goes to his mom and asks what does fuck mean? oh that means to cut, what does bastard mean? that means boy, what does boobs mean? oh that means hat. then the doorbell ring the kid answers hello bitches and bastards my i take your boobs and dicks dads upstair shitting himself while my moms downstairs fucking the chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!
a man is taning on the beach and puts a hat over his balls so they dont get burned and a girl walks by and says if you were a gentle men you would lift your hat. the man says if you werent so ugly it would lift it self. funny
Lil Johnny wakes up in the middle of the night and finds his parents having sex. Johnny is furious and runs off. Dad needed to go talk to him about it so he will understand. He looks all over the house and finally, he finds lil Johnny in his grandma's room doing his granny. Johnny sees his dad pissed. His dad yells "What the fuck Johnny? Stop it!" with a grin, Johnny says "Ain't so funny when its your mom is it?"
There are 3 men sharing a bed in a hotel room. The 2 men on the side said they had a dream that they were getting a handjob. The guy in the middle said he had a dream that he was skiing.
A jellybaby walks into a Std Clinic the other day cuz he had liqourice and coconut round his knob. The doc says what the fuck have u been up to? To which he replies. Fucking allsorts
If a tree falls on a woman, does anyone hear it?? I dont know, but why is there a tree in the kitchen? Why couldnt anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens. Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver? She's a woman. Why should a man never buy a woman a car? Its not that far of a trip from the bedroom to the kitchen! ahaha... I'm done.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhear are talking talking about their sex life. The redhead says: "I'm gonna have a girl because I was on top." The brunette says: " Im gonna have a boy becaise I was on the bottom" The Blonde says: " I'm gonna have puppies !" xD
A plane begins to descend and the passengers start to realize that the plane is crashing. A woman stands up and says " Quick! Someone make me feel like a woman before I die !" A man takes action and takes off his shirt and hands it to her... " Here, Iron this. " :D
there r 2 gay guys in the shower. one cums in the others ass. thn the door bell ringz, the first guy says, "ill be back, dont have fun without me" so when the guy comes back, he sees cum all over the shower walls. the first guy says, "I THOUGHT I TOLD U NOT TO HAVE FUN WITHOUT ME" the second guy says, " all i did was fart"
DONT READ THIS CAUSE IT ACTULLY WORKS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMARROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DO NOT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN THE NEXT 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READING THIS SO DUNT STOP. THIS IS SO SCARY PUT THIS ON AT LEAST 5 VIDEOS IN THE NEXT 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS f6 AND UR LOVERS NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS THIS IS SCARRY CUZ ITWORK
This dads daughter said can i borrow the car so the dad said u know what to do so she started to suck his dick and said why does your dick taste like shit the dad says oh yeah ur brother is borrowing the car XD
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
I did your mom....a favor by making you....a sandwich. I took her clothes off...the hanger. Then I showed her my dick...tionay and she showed me her pussy...cat. Later she bend over...to pick up her phone.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of 100 dollar bills. He asks the bar tender, " What's the jar for?" " It's a challenge that i host. Everyone who excepts pays and starts the challenge. You need to get the angry pittbull from the back alley's sore tooth out, and you have to make an old lady who lives upstairs have an orgasm. The man says "impossible!" but after a few drink he accepts.he goes outside, there is screaming. he comes in and says "Now where is the old lady with the sore tooth
guy dies and goes to the after life and meets God.God says be humbled or climb the ladder to success. guy climbs the ladder up a level and sees sexy chick.she tells him the same thing climb the ladder to success,so he climbs another level sees an even sexier chick who tells him climb the ladder to success or be humbled. so guy figures i got all this already i might as well climb.So he goes up another level and dosent see much except the bigFatHairyBlackdude on the bed who tells him IM SESS.
Three convicts on their way to jail are allowed one item to occupy their time. 1st con tells that he brought cards so he can play anynumber of games.2nd says he brought paints so he can be the grandma moses of jail.3rd con sittin there grinnin so they ask what the hell did u bring? Guy says a brought a box of tampons.what can u do with those says the other 2 cons? guy says according to the box i can go swimming,horseback riding,rollerskating etc.
A Snail gets beat up by two Turtles. Cops ask the snail did u get a good look at the turtles that did this to u? Snail answers IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST.
it's so imbarasing to like this kus im 10 but it's so funny XD BTW: even wors then that i am a 10 year old girl, i am a 10 year old girl from SWE!!!!!
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
A Chinese guy comes to america a decides he wants some comodities. First he goes to a hardware store and asks for a Fucket,guys says u mean Bucket? y yeah says chinese guy.After he goes to a variety store and asks for some Bum, u mean gum says clerk in store, y yeah says chinese guy. so after he wants one more item so he goes to a pet store and asks for a cockandspankit, and gets a Cockerspaniel dog. after he sees cop and asks can u hold my BUMANDFUCKET while I go get my Cockand Spanket.
A teacher asks her class, hwat part of the human body can grow up to 10 times its original size... A girl calls out "ms i really dont think this is appropriate" The teacher ignores her and calls the question out again, the little girls says "Ms i will report you are being inappropriate"... The teacher still ignores the child and a boy put his hand and said the Pupil of the eye.
The teacher then turns to the girl and says "I have three things to say to you"
What a woman says: This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now! What a man hears: blah blah blah blah blah C'MON! YOU AND I blah blah blah blah! blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
the cheif looked at the 2 captives and said,"Death or Ooga Booga!!" The first though it over and said,"Ooga Booga!" For huge men drug him off to a hut and you could hear the sounds of assrape. The man crawled out of the tent to hear the Cheif say to the 2nd man,"Death or Ooga Booga!!!!" First man screamed,"Take death!" 2nd man looks at the Cheif and says."I take death!"
A guy meets up with his friend at the bar the guy says "you'll never believe what just happened when i was walking here, i found a woman on the traintracks to i untied her and we had the most craziest sex in all different positions!" the friend says "wow sounds great did you get a blowjob out of it? " the guy then says "nope, couldnt find her head "
A guy picks up a whore and when they start having sex its rough like sandpaper so he tells her she has to lubricate. She goes to the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and when they resume sex its great. He asks "What kind of lube did you use? that was terrific!". She smiles and says "Oh, it always feels better when i pick the scabs off and let the puss ooze out".
the guy walks up to the bartender and asks 'are you the one who gives the hand jobs'? she says 'yes' he says 'WELL YOU'D BETTER GO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS BECAUSE I WANT A CHEESE GRILL!
there's this really horny koala and so he hires a koala prostitute
they do their business and the guy koala starts to walk off, the girl koala says 'hey, where's my money'? and the guy koala pulls out a dictionary and looks up koala, the girl looks at it and it says: koala - eats bush, then leaves :D
DONT READ THIS Cause It Really Works. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEARÃ
an old couple are laying in bed and the old man farts then shouts GOAL! 1-0 the old lady looks at him weird then farts herself and says GOAL! 1-1 the old man smriks and farts again GOAL 2-1 the old lady catches on and farts GOAL 2-2 bound not to lose the old man pushes real hard and shits the bed. the old lday yells HERB!! what was that? old man says HALFTIME SWITCH SIDES!!
a blonde drive by a field and sees another blonde in a rowboat rowing for her life, the first one asks "what are you doing?" the second one says "trying to find land!!" first blonde gets mad and says "its dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name and if i could swim i'd come out there and kick your ass!!"
A teacher asked her kids who was gods son. A boy behind a girl stabs the girls back with a pen. The girl shouts out 'JESUS CHRIST'. The teacher asks 'who rules the world'. The boy stabs the girl again.the girl shoutd out 'GOOD GOD!' then the teacher asks 'what did eve say when she and adam had 34 kids?' the boy stabs the girl again and the girl gets up and shouts out 'IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL KILL YOU' then the teacher faints.
a boy goes to school with his classmates. the teacher says what did you do over the summer and a boy says "i was milking the cows and spilt it all over and i learned not to cry over spilled milk. and the other boy says my dad was in the war and he only had 2 bullets and a bottle of beer left so he killed 2 and killed the rest with his bare hands . the teacher says what did u lern frm that? and he says dont fu*k with the old man while hes drinkin!
"Hey you look different today Kelly!" said one of her co-workers. "Your hair is extra curly and you have this wide-eyed look. What did you use - special curlers and some dramatic eye makeup?"
"No." replied Kelly. "My vibrator shorted out this morning."
after a woman had swallowed a Super Gillette razor blade, her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but she had also castrated her husband, circumcized her lover, taken two fingers off a casual acquaintance, given the vicar a hair lip - and there were still five shave left!
dad comes from work little timmy says, "DAD MY BIRD IS DEAD!" the dad replied "he aint dead, he is just sleeping" the bird wakes up and starts flying. little timmy says "well how do you know when someone is dead?" the dad replied "well when they are lying on their back to show that thier soul is going to heaven" The next day the dad comes back and little Timmy said "DAD MUM NEARLY DIED TODAY!" the dad was curious and said what happen?!?" well she was in bed lying on her back and she said...
READ ! This isnt fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten events in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow. u will either get kissed or asked out, if u break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight. in 53 mins someone will say i love you or im sorry or i wanna go out with you
3 guys go to a hotel to spend the night. They were going on a skiing trip. They got to this hotel and =decide to spend the night. Turns out the hotel had 1 room left open, and that room had only one bed. The next hotel was too far away, and it was already night so they take the room. They go to sleep, one guy sleeps on the left, one guy sleep one the right, and one in the middle. The guy who slept on the left and right said they had a dream where they got a handjob, and the other guy said.......
This has been flagged as spam show
Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? your wife will always blow your bonus!
Loverboy19691 4 hours ago
a son goes to his dad and asks dad what does bitch mean? it means girls, what does shit mean? oh that means to shave, what does dick mean? that means jacket then he goes to his mom and asks what does fuck mean? oh that means to cut, what does bastard mean? that means boy, what does boobs mean? oh that means hat. then the doorbell ring the kid answers hello bitches and bastards my i take your boobs and dicks dads upstair shitting himself while my moms downstairs fucking the chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!
supereeeeeeeego100 1 day ago
once chuck norris had sex in a van.... we now know that van as ironhide (if you dont know why he's a van watch the origanal transformers cartoon)
mcsoup1621 4 days ago
a man is taning on the beach and puts a hat over his balls so they dont get burned and a girl walks by and says if you were a gentle men you would lift your hat. the man says if you werent so ugly it would lift it self. funny
kenneth4877 1 week ago
hahahahahahahahaha
tigerbro15 1 week ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Lil Johnny wakes up in the middle of the night and finds his parents having sex. Johnny is furious and runs off. Dad needed to go talk to him about it so he will understand. He looks all over the house and finally, he finds lil Johnny in his grandma's room doing his granny. Johnny sees his dad pissed. His dad yells "What the fuck Johnny? Stop it!" with a grin, Johnny says "Ain't so funny when its your mom is it?"
tigerbro15 1 week ago
There are 3 men sharing a bed in a hotel room. The 2 men on the side said they had a dream that they were getting a handjob. The guy in the middle said he had a dream that he was skiing.
LoveMurderinSnitches 2 weeks ago 2
"I used to be a normal girl, but now there's hair in my face and my vagina is hanging like a rope.."
burninrubber440 3 weeks ago 2
Q: What do big socks mean? A: big feet
turningundead 3 weeks ago
A jellybaby walks into a Std Clinic the other day cuz he had liqourice and coconut round his knob. The doc says what the fuck have u been up to? To which he replies. Fucking allsorts
dunkingdoughnut98 3 weeks ago
If I were a robot, I'd spend all day ANAL-izing women.
burninrubber440 1 month ago
a kid and his parents go to a nude beach, the kid says, mommy that girl has the hugest parts!
the mom says, the huger the parts, the dumber they are
later the kid says, mommy look that guy has a bigger part than daddy,
the mom says, the bigger the parts, the dumber they are,
later the dad and son take off to get some ice cream,
the kid runs back and says, mommy dads talkin to the dumbest girl here and the more she talks back the dumber and dumber daddy gets
Z0mbieILLNESS 1 month ago
Pink Fluff
tristanwerd 1 month ago
"what is this" (person telling the joke sticks tounge out) "what" say the guy getting to joke told to "A lesbian with a hard on"
dirtbikerider630 1 month ago
lol
i watched this vid 5 times
TheJoyfulbean 1 month ago
Why can't blondes count to 70?
Cos 69s a mouthfull
MAKExLOVExNOTxTOAST 1 month ago
What does a cross eyed carpenter and a guy in a lesbian bar have in common? They both see things they can't nail.
024leoj 1 month ago
Why do women have boobs? So you have something to look at when your talking to them.
felixratfink101 1 month ago 3
A woman said to her husband 'your dick resembles a tic tac'. He then replied 'If thats the case, then why does your sister still have bad breath?'
shikara24 1 month ago 7
Q: why did the condam cross the road
A: because he got pissed off
TheSilentbomber 2 months ago 5
If a tree falls on a woman, does anyone hear it?? I dont know, but why is there a tree in the kitchen? Why couldnt anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens. Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver? She's a woman. Why should a man never buy a woman a car? Its not that far of a trip from the bedroom to the kitchen! ahaha... I'm done.
TheBaseballBixx 2 months ago 4
A blonde, a brunette and a redhear are talking talking about their sex life. The redhead says: "I'm gonna have a girl because I was on top." The brunette says: " Im gonna have a boy becaise I was on the bottom" The Blonde says: " I'm gonna have puppies !" xD
TheBaseballBixx 2 months ago 8
This has been flagged as spam show
A plane begins to descend and the passengers start to realize that the plane is crashing. A woman stands up and says " Quick! Someone make me feel like a woman before I die !" A man takes action and takes off his shirt and hands it to her... " Here, Iron this. " :D
TheBaseballBixx 2 months ago 3
WIFE-honey i think someone just broke in the house
HUSBAND-what
WIFE-i think they are now eating the food i prepared,call the cops
HUSBAND-we better call the ambulance
sexy19jamaica 2 months ago
This is so dum!!!! Why does people catch guneria bcuz guns were fucked up by mariah
sexy19jamaica 2 months ago
whats the square route of 69? ate something. what do you call a smiling roman with pubes in his teeth? gladiator
kurebis1 2 months ago
Ive got a good one: Why did the penis cross the road? Cuz he wanted to DO it!
apfelstrudlOfOA 2 months ago
Yo mamma so fat that when your dad has sex with her he slaps her ass to ride the wave
Walterispyro 2 months ago 2
Your mom is so fat when HE stepped on a scale it said "ow"
TheEpicDarien98 2 months ago
a good way for a wife to make her husband happy and sad at the same time
Wife: hey honey guess what
Husband: what?
Wife: your cock is bigger than your brothers :)
cizzmc123 2 months ago 2
@cizzmc123 fuck that i'd be full blown pissed.
dalocochoco 2 months ago
there r 2 gay guys in the shower. one cums in the others ass. thn the door bell ringz, the first guy says, "ill be back, dont have fun without me" so when the guy comes back, he sees cum all over the shower walls. the first guy says, "I THOUGHT I TOLD U NOT TO HAVE FUN WITHOUT ME" the second guy says, " all i did was fart"
spacedeserter 2 months ago 5
LMFAOOOO!!! i died.
EdeLovesGerrard 2 months ago
wats pink and fluffy...........pink fluff lls oh my god lol
pfeagles11 2 months ago
3 gay guys die and at their funeral reception their lovers say what they are going to do with the ashes.
The 1st one says: I'm going to spread his ashes across the sky because my lover loved to fly.
The 2nd one says: I'm going to spread his ashes across his favorite lake because he loved to fish.
The 3rd one says: My lover was a great lover so I'm going to pour his ashes in a bowl of chili that way he can tear my ass up one more time.
Roguesoldier678 2 months ago 35
@Roguesoldier678 i pissed myself when i read that
MrEntertainmentrules 1 month ago
@Roguesoldier678 you got that from Elis dirty jokes
tigerbro15 1 week ago
@tigerbro15 lol I did.....I is a good joke though...lol
Roguesoldier678 1 week ago
Comment removed
McChubbers 2 months ago
i got one. its half yo mama, half dirty. yo mamas like a shotgun 2 cocks and she blows.
spacedeserter 3 months ago
@spacedeserter LOOOOOOOL
EdeLovesGerrard 2 months ago
theres four gay guys in a hotub and they see cum floating to the surface what do they say?
ok who farted
oohh i got another 1 theres 2 lesbians and 2 gay guys going to flordia which one gets there first?
the lesbians bc they were going 69 all the way there and the gay guys are still home packing there shit
lol
tdude991 3 months ago
@tdude991 the guys should make it first cause their shits already packed lol
jambuc828ify 2 months ago
i have a dirty 1 yo mama pussy
MrHarper12344 3 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
DONT READ THIS CAUSE IT ACTULLY WORKS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMARROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DO NOT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN THE NEXT 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READING THIS SO DUNT STOP. THIS IS SO SCARY PUT THIS ON AT LEAST 5 VIDEOS IN THE NEXT 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS f6 AND UR LOVERS NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS THIS IS SCARRY CUZ ITWORK
sampsonmorell 3 months ago
This dads daughter said can i borrow the car so the dad said u know what to do so she started to suck his dick and said why does your dick taste like shit the dad says oh yeah ur brother is borrowing the car XD
yoyohockeyshow123 3 months ago 3
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
14animeluv 4 months ago 52
what do you call a trombone a happy trumpet
yusiefoodo555 4 months ago
i slapped your mum last nite with my dick............tionary
MegaSmurf9 4 months ago 2
I did your mom....a favor by making you....a sandwich. I took her clothes off...the hanger. Then I showed her my dick...tionay and she showed me her pussy...cat. Later she bend over...to pick up her phone.
DeatheStar 4 months ago 2
lickalottapuss XD XD XD omg
Girlyskater95 4 months ago
filho da puta...vai tomar no seu cú...
danielgrau1 4 months ago
how does drinking too much alcohol turn into women...cause wen your drunk you cant drive and talk nonsence
30albundy 4 months ago 2
@30albundy Good one lmao!
LATINZYKO 4 months ago in playlist Liked
why isent god perfect.cause if he was women would have mute buttons
30albundy 4 months ago
why do women have in common with refrigerators.you put the meat inside and leave the eggs at the door.
30albundy 4 months ago
whats the only house appliance that works by kicking it? the woman
30albundy 4 months ago
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of 100 dollar bills. He asks the bar tender, " What's the jar for?" " It's a challenge that i host. Everyone who excepts pays and starts the challenge. You need to get the angry pittbull from the back alley's sore tooth out, and you have to make an old lady who lives upstairs have an orgasm. The man says "impossible!" but after a few drink he accepts.he goes outside, there is screaming. he comes in and says "Now where is the old lady with the sore tooth
Drewnation07 5 months ago in playlist More videos from dannycraps
@Drewnation07 OH WOW! LOL!
Lugo428 4 months ago
What's the difference between 365 used condoms and a tire? One's a GoodYear and one's a GREAT year.
anonymous1234269 5 months ago
what do u call a ginger prostitute orange pay as you go.
nathanmccall1 5 months ago
What do a pussy and an envelope have in common? You lick it then stick it!
NadesNBlades 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
guess what these words are:
F_ _K
_ _NDOM
P_N_S
PU_S_
S_X
AS_
Fork, Random, Pants, Pulse, Six, and Ash. I bet you got all of them wrong. You kids and your dirty minds!
chris09261 5 months ago 3
This has been flagged as spam show
guess what these words are:
F_ _K
_ _NDOM
P_N_S
PU_S_
S_X
AS_
Fork, Random, Pants, Pulse, Six, and Ash. I bet you got all of them wrong. You kids and your dirty minds!
chris09261 5 months ago
Q: How do you get 10 babies into a bowl??
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them back out again??
A: Tortilla chips.
inspector13jjf 5 months ago
SORRY DIDNT MEAN TO BE A jOKE hOG
LudicrousScotty101 5 months ago
guy dies and goes to the after life and meets God.God says be humbled or climb the ladder to success. guy climbs the ladder up a level and sees sexy chick.she tells him the same thing climb the ladder to success,so he climbs another level sees an even sexier chick who tells him climb the ladder to success or be humbled. so guy figures i got all this already i might as well climb.So he goes up another level and dosent see much except the bigFatHairyBlackdude on the bed who tells him IM SESS.
LudicrousScotty101 5 months ago 2
Three convicts on their way to jail are allowed one item to occupy their time. 1st con tells that he brought cards so he can play anynumber of games.2nd says he brought paints so he can be the grandma moses of jail.3rd con sittin there grinnin so they ask what the hell did u bring? Guy says a brought a box of tampons.what can u do with those says the other 2 cons? guy says according to the box i can go swimming,horseback riding,rollerskating etc.
LudicrousScotty101 5 months ago
A Snail gets beat up by two Turtles. Cops ask the snail did u get a good look at the turtles that did this to u? Snail answers IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST.
LudicrousScotty101 5 months ago
what did the egg say to the boiling water?
it's gonna take a while for me to get hard because i just got laid by a chick eue
trinabanina18 5 months ago
it's so imbarasing to like this kus im 10 but it's so funny XD BTW: even wors then that i am a 10 year old girl, i am a 10 year old girl from SWE!!!!!
theMorot123 5 months ago
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
memac3321 5 months ago
why shouldnt women have driver licences?its a short distance between the bed and the kitchen
30albundy 5 months ago
@30albundy sexist bastard!! fuck you!!
JBbabyMmhmm 5 months ago
@30albundy whats brain surgery called for a man. castration. yes we alll know wat u think with.
fANNAsiZe 4 months ago
@30albundy you're a mean motherfucker >_>
missmaximaaltje 4 months ago
Why did the gay guy storm out of Mc dONALDS? he found out what a BigMac really was.
LudicrousScotty101 5 months ago
what do u call a gay detective? Dick Tracer.
LudicrousScotty101 5 months ago
A Chinese guy comes to america a decides he wants some comodities. First he goes to a hardware store and asks for a Fucket,guys says u mean Bucket? y yeah says chinese guy.After he goes to a variety store and asks for some Bum, u mean gum says clerk in store, y yeah says chinese guy. so after he wants one more item so he goes to a pet store and asks for a cockandspankit, and gets a Cockerspaniel dog. after he sees cop and asks can u hold my BUMANDFUCKET while I go get my Cockand Spanket.
LudicrousScotty101 5 months ago
Don't waste your time digging through these comments for good jokes, most are horrific, just read the top comments and move on.
Alexillion 5 months ago 4
One you have not done your home work two you have a sick mind and three when your older you will be very dissapointed
LIAMDABESTABLE 5 months ago
A teacher asks her class, hwat part of the human body can grow up to 10 times its original size... A girl calls out "ms i really dont think this is appropriate" The teacher ignores her and calls the question out again, the little girls says "Ms i will report you are being inappropriate"... The teacher still ignores the child and a boy put his hand and said the Pupil of the eye.
The teacher then turns to the girl and says "I have three things to say to you"
LIAMDABESTABLE 5 months ago
-________________-
sinfonia30 5 months ago
Q: What do you tell a women with two black eyes?? A: Nothing, The bitch has already been told twice.
zxkuta 5 months ago
CaptainEpik 5 months ago 2
Sorry guy but nothing about that was dirty. For me, that's just an everyday conversation.
xboobookittiex 5 months ago
What does a dog and a man have in common?
Yell their name and their come for you...
LittleRavenChan 5 months ago
whats brown and sticky?!
A stick.
louiselawson64 5 months ago
@louiselawson64 hmmm what game did i hear that in... grand theft auto 4 maybe?
svendewulf 5 months ago in playlist Liked
what's australian foreplay?
brace yourself sheila!
hillsidecomixinc1 5 months ago
...ok
20carpe05 5 months ago
what's pink and smells like a vagina: justin bieber
gandalfwiz20007 5 months ago
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frogs fingers.
RyaKunWT 5 months ago
jigglypuff. shes pink and fluffy
k0n3k 5 months ago
its peanut butter jelly time
WhitedarkbladedWolf 5 months ago
ur filled with jokes like a shit with vitamins xD
inviernos1 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Why do women have boobs?
shagy2k5 5 months ago
What's Blue & Is A Waffle? Wait, Actually...Just Look It Up.
DJaBookByItsCover 5 months ago
A paedophile and a little girl are walking through the woods at night. The little girl goes; 'Mr, I'm scared.'
The paedophile goes;
'You think it's bad for you, I have to walk home by myself.'
WhatAmTheDaniel 5 months ago
no when the dish washer stops working you smack her
jake302010431 5 months ago
the cheif looked at the 2 captives and said,"Death or Ooga Booga!!" The first though it over and said,"Ooga Booga!" For huge men drug him off to a hut and you could hear the sounds of assrape. The man crawled out of the tent to hear the Cheif say to the 2nd man,"Death or Ooga Booga!!!!" First man screamed,"Take death!" 2nd man looks at the Cheif and says."I take death!"
Cheif says, "Death!! By Ogga Booga!!"
jacktheripped 5 months ago
Look up gay parrot joke. Hilarious!
DanteTomochan 5 months ago
how do 4 gay guys share a bar stool? they turn it over. Ok there is 4 gay guys in a hot tub and a condem floats to the top. "WHO FARTED?"
ShrapnelfromDAfuture 5 months ago
sexy legs ;)
SHADOWSTICKER 5 months ago
dude u soo made me smile thanks i nneded that :)
xbox360ladyeve1984 5 months ago
so a man comes into a bar... wait not its a horse... a man comes into a horse
T3AI2S 5 months ago
*dirty joke so dirty, you tube and the government shows up at my house with a contract for a non stop tv show*
I just raped your mind with excellence.
SUPERJAILrockz11 5 months ago
A guy meets up with his friend at the bar the guy says "you'll never believe what just happened when i was walking here, i found a woman on the traintracks to i untied her and we had the most craziest sex in all different positions!" the friend says "wow sounds great did you get a blowjob out of it? " the guy then says "nope, couldnt find her head "
LivinItUpCrazyStyle 5 months ago
@LivinItUpCrazyStyle -dies a little inside-
DanteTomochan 5 months ago
What did the penis say to the condom
Cover me I'm goin in
khfanatic3000 5 months ago
A guy picks up a whore and when they start having sex its rough like sandpaper so he tells her she has to lubricate. She goes to the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and when they resume sex its great. He asks "What kind of lube did you use? that was terrific!". She smiles and says "Oh, it always feels better when i pick the scabs off and let the puss ooze out".
whatsthebigfndeal 5 months ago 3
@whatsthebigfndeal
FUCKING GROSS
asiangangzter 5 months ago
@whatsthebigfndeal EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW, EW, EW,EW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW THATS SO NASTY
KurtCobainologist 5 months ago
@KurtCobainologist yes, yes it is. kinda only funny to the person telling it
whatsthebigfndeal 5 months ago
@whatsthebigfndeal I just vomited.
s3xyboy786 5 months ago
@whatsthebigfndeal thats not funny at all... it's disgusting?
ShrapnelfromDAfuture 5 months ago
9/11 was just plane wrong.
CrazyKnows 5 months ago 2
How is life and a dick related? When it gets hard, you can fuck then both :D
Darkangel22378 5 months ago
I was going to tell an ass rape joke.....
Butt fuck it...
N00BterminatorX 5 months ago 4
@N00BterminatorX EPIC :D
Cryout5200 5 months ago
what do you call an pregnant chick? i ditched yo fuckin ass dont call me bitch haha
nanocalp 5 months ago
What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
MyFriendDj 5 months ago
guy walks into a bar and looks at the menu
MENU:
cheese grill $2
chicken and cheese grill $4
hand job $20
the guy walks up to the bartender and asks 'are you the one who gives the hand jobs'? she says 'yes' he says 'WELL YOU'D BETTER GO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS BECAUSE I WANT A CHEESE GRILL!
R3BORNEDInF3RNO 5 months ago 64
@R3BORNEDInF3RNO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA OMG THIS DESERVES TOP COMMEnT NOT 2nd TOP
sniffcoka 5 months ago
there's this really horny koala and so he hires a koala prostitute
they do their business and the guy koala starts to walk off, the girl koala says 'hey, where's my money'? and the guy koala pulls out a dictionary and looks up koala, the girl looks at it and it says: koala - eats bush, then leaves :D
R3BORNEDInF3RNO 5 months ago
Whats blue and fluffy? Pink fluff disguised as blue fluff.
TurtleBlastingOG 5 months ago
A brother and a sister are having sex. The brother says to the sister, "Hey, you do it just like Mom!" and the sister said, "Yeah, Dad told me."
Moshikashitenai 5 months ago
I did your mom... A favor of making you a sandwich. Then we went on the table she showed me her pussy...Cat. Then I show her my cock...erspanel.
chris09261 5 months ago 21
@chris09261 why show your animals on the table
Est0niaVisit 5 months ago
@Est0niaVisit It's all part of the joke, bro.
chris09261 5 months ago
@chris09261 yeah i know what the point is, make it look like dirty jokes, in the meanwhile it should look normal too i mean why on the table
Est0niaVisit 5 months ago
@Est0niaVisit Idk lol.
chris09261 5 months ago
@chris09261 years and years old. get a new one mate
TechnicallyNotGuilty 4 months ago
please, i beg you, wear a pants! ur legs might get cold bro, just helpin' ya
DarkGlenn13 5 months ago
FUCKING HALARIOUS!!!!
SuperTodd4444 5 months ago
lol pink fluff
bigbanana94 5 months ago
whats pink and fluffy? pink fluf XDDDDDDDDD
SideV01 5 months ago
what do think about that
gillandrebecca35 5 months ago
hey that fridge joke made no sence
gillandrebecca35 5 months ago
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah funny gay
gillandrebecca35 5 months ago
is he the second eminem ? :D
inviernos1 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
DONT READ THIS Cause It Really Works. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEARÃ
FIREYBLAST 5 months ago
white horse fell in a mud hole..all i know.lol
20cricket09 5 months ago
What's the difference between a woman and a refridgerator.....the fridge doesn't fart when u pull your meat out
T5S 5 months ago
Ooo how do u drown a dumb blond
stewat8 5 months ago
@stewat8 how do u drown a dumb blonde?
Mrules123 5 months ago
@Mrules123 scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool
chablehh 5 months ago 4
an old couple are laying in bed and the old man farts then shouts GOAL! 1-0 the old lady looks at him weird then farts herself and says GOAL! 1-1 the old man smriks and farts again GOAL 2-1 the old lady catches on and farts GOAL 2-2 bound not to lose the old man pushes real hard and shits the bed. the old lday yells HERB!! what was that? old man says HALFTIME SWITCH SIDES!!
munkeynuttzz 5 months ago 4
a blonde drive by a field and sees another blonde in a rowboat rowing for her life, the first one asks "what are you doing?" the second one says "trying to find land!!" first blonde gets mad and says "its dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name and if i could swim i'd come out there and kick your ass!!"
munkeynuttzz 5 months ago 2
2 things to say:
1. 0:19-0:26 LMFAO!
2. what do walking a high wire and getting a blow job from a 80 year old woman have in common? A: in both cases, you really don't want to look down..
bloodvein3 6 months ago
Comment removed
bloodvein3 6 months ago
You guys wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse jumping in mud.
gotricesnitch 6 months ago 2
So... I'm a hockeyplayer, wanna see my "club"?
Disturbedcheeze 6 months ago
What does a condom and camera have in common?
They both capture the moment.
Bltheman1 6 months ago 8
A teacher asked her kids who was gods son. A boy behind a girl stabs the girls back with a pen. The girl shouts out 'JESUS CHRIST'. The teacher asks 'who rules the world'. The boy stabs the girl again.the girl shoutd out 'GOOD GOD!' then the teacher asks 'what did eve say when she and adam had 34 kids?' the boy stabs the girl again and the girl gets up and shouts out 'IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL KILL YOU' then the teacher faints.
LoveMissEliza 6 months ago 83
@LoveMissEliza it's actually "IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS".
MrBunnyWasHereFirst 5 months ago
@MrBunnyWasHereFirst i'm pretty sure it's not...
ShrapnelfromDAfuture 5 months ago
@LoveMissEliza I dont get why teacher faints, :O
Romansssz 5 months ago
a boy goes to school with his classmates. the teacher says what did you do over the summer and a boy says "i was milking the cows and spilt it all over and i learned not to cry over spilled milk. and the other boy says my dad was in the war and he only had 2 bullets and a bottle of beer left so he killed 2 and killed the rest with his bare hands . the teacher says what did u lern frm that? and he says dont fu*k with the old man while hes drinkin!
simonsevillelover211 6 months ago 2
What's worse spiders on your piano or crabs on your origin
Darkblade416 6 months ago
"Hey you look different today Kelly!" said one of her co-workers. "Your hair is extra curly and you have this wide-eyed look. What did you use - special curlers and some dramatic eye makeup?"
"No." replied Kelly. "My vibrator shorted out this morning."
pro7moto5beast 6 months ago
after a woman had swallowed a Super Gillette razor blade, her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but she had also castrated her husband, circumcized her lover, taken two fingers off a casual acquaintance, given the vicar a hair lip - and there were still five shave left!
pro7moto5beast 6 months ago
Yo daddy so horny he had to sit on his hand until it go numb and played with himself thinking it was Yo momma
vwiggins420 6 months ago
What long hard and full of cemen
A submarine lamaonase
SPACEMONKEY150 6 months ago
dad comes from work little timmy says, "DAD MY BIRD IS DEAD!" the dad replied "he aint dead, he is just sleeping" the bird wakes up and starts flying. little timmy says "well how do you know when someone is dead?" the dad replied "well when they are lying on their back to show that thier soul is going to heaven" The next day the dad comes back and little Timmy said "DAD MUM NEARLY DIED TODAY!" the dad was curious and said what happen?!?" well she was in bed lying on her back and she said...
rapidkid28 6 months ago
@rapidkid28 "JESUS IM COMING, JESUS IM COMING" luckily uncle Bob was there to save her :)
rapidkid28 6 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
READ ! This isnt fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten events in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow. u will either get kissed or asked out, if u break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight. in 53 mins someone will say i love you or im sorry or i wanna go out with you
SilentDefuse 6 months ago
What the differnce between great sex and bungee jumping?
They're both really fun...until the rubber breaks!
:D
JackRussell111 6 months ago 7
3 guys go to a hotel to spend the night. They were going on a skiing trip. They got to this hotel and =decide to spend the night. Turns out the hotel had 1 room left open, and that room had only one bed. The next hotel was too far away, and it was already night so they take the room. They go to sleep, one guy sleeps on the left, one guy sleep one the right, and one in the middle. The guy who slept on the left and right said they had a dream where they got a handjob, and the other guy said.......
Lugo428 6 months ago