Anatomy of a Douchebag: How To Get a Girl To Go Out With You

[TheLightningspeed]

women nowadays make it extremely difficult to be chivalrous ..

[reptile1104]

Fat cunt gets with the fat retard. I see no problem here.

[DucksUnlimited9437]

Whats the name of the song when the douchebag comes in?

[DragonTrixter]

@DucksUnlimited9437 Stay Fly by Three Six Mafia

[JesseJohn420]

@Pill88Dickle I used to just fuck sluts, now they all charge.

[JesseJohn420]

Your host "dick licker"

[howarethingsindenver]

did he say Nick Licker ??? Like johnny Banana´s brother :))

[HardcoreAPMGamer]

i bet der no water in dat cup!

[Kormondre]

they want the alpha male.

[SeventhSun]

@Kormondre

Nice alpha males can be their favourite doormats I know.

[mjfromga89]

The heavyset guy playing the douche bag is extremely hot......

[waverider201]

Oh really now.... 0_<

[darkknight302]

this is fukin stupid

[WeLoveTranceOrg]

nigga u saved my life brah!

[4xtraATL]

this is TRUE....trust me I have lived in many states and this situation is universal.

[Dewdaahman]

Hi, I didn't see you come in.. hello, of course you saw him/her come in because you acknowledged him/her as she came in with a Hi, and a lie.. lol.. 

[youhateme666]

Fact: women are all cunts and whores.

sexist but true.

find em, fuck em, beat em, leave em.

an believe it or not, ima nice guy. you sluts have turned me evil.

[Shadesx666666]

@youhateme666 dude i love your way of thinking women are all cunts and whores.

[88Purolatinnation88]

@youhateme666 aand ur an idiot

[Blackboy4719]

@youhateme666 Hmm i can't agree with you, i like nice guys, i can`t stand douchebags. PS i am a girl blackboy is my dog

[TalonWolf]

It's true. I act like an asshole to get one night stands when I'm drunk. Works every time. I act really nice to someone whom I have a genuine attraction for because I care about them and I'm actually an incredibly passionate person... And they fuck me over.

To be honest, I hate having to act like somebody I'm not simply to get anywhere. Especially when it doesn't even make sense... I wouldn't fuck a chick who forgot my name every 5 minutes, so why does it work when it's the other way round?

[SeventhSun]

@TalonWolf

On the other hand I actually, try to be a nice guy for a change, and I always fail.

Whenever I try that outfit out in front of the girls and the general audience it is very painful to watch. Fashion disaster, let me tell you. I bore myself to tears even.

[kilnmaster]

your the douche bag

[consciousness3000]

Check out "Bill Hicks - Chicks Dig Jerks" fits pretty well here ;)

watch?v=F0k96hDQf7s

[michaelmcgowan]

281 dislikes are douchebags who think this video ruined their game

[JonO387]

This guys name is Dick Licker?

[ILaxULax]

Its not the fact that girls like douches. Its that the douches are more out going. Nice guys are shy. I'm not a chick either. I'm a guy and I've been calles a douche but I don't really care.

[PairoftheSocks]

@ILaxULax I'm a bit shy, fairly gifted in computers. I also enjoy physical activity and although I am a large person I can lift over 300 pounds and have above average stamina. I am not checked out very often. I think its a bit funny that women fall for such idiots, considering that if I was challenged by one of those idiots they probably would not survive. I believe that its truly about commercialism and no longer about who is the most intelligent and or physically fit.

[felizgar]

@PairoftheSocks Hahaha, I have read an article sometime ago, wich said that girls look for those inferior specimens because they dont want to get pregnant. Like, the idea is to fuck without reproducing, so they choose them because they will not succed at anithing beyond a one night stand.

[enjoyitbro]

@felizgar yeah no woman ever gets an unwanted preganancy from a douchebag

[SeventhSun]

@ILaxULax

There was once I even poured water on a girl out of a fit. She should be glad it isn't urine, though it does make her look even sexier.

[jubjubmh316]

ive been too nice my whole life and its gotten me nowhere. when i see a douchbag im like what a fag, but then i take a look at the hot ass girl hes with.

[9thbigfoot]

It's Carl Sagan's son.

[mrgungho]

nice boobs girl



[diablito118]

the so "4 polo" aka wangster. specially by how he talks lol

[MrLetsruntommorow]

like if you didnt know who carl segan was so you looked iit up

[th3d3adp0et]

Wow, it's Carl Segan.

[nickylane2295]

This video is stupid, rude, and offending... that's all I've got to say.

[diablito118]

@nickylane2295

had to be a female post.

[overmind6]

@nickylane2295 Video is sad, but it is true. That's it, that's all.

[beastdrummer555]

he looks like carl segan

[WillyEscobar33]

only little high school/college sorority girls like this shit but any decent woman wants a real man, but that doesnt mean nice...u just have to be a bad ass the perfect mix of no caring what anyone thinks about while maintain respect towards those around u

[molewizard]

@WillyEscobar33 Getting laid regularly with that are you?

Being a douche works on a subset of girls of all ages. It's just whether you can live with yourself for doing it.

At the end of the day, being an asshole is a damned effective way to stay in charge.

[WillyEscobar33]

@molewizard well my frends do call me a nova for sum reason

[WillyEscobar33]

@molewizard and i said no being nice but that doesnt mean a fag for the stupidest reasons lol

[molewizard]

@WillyEscobar33 Perhaps I mistyped. To be honest, with that attitude, you probably DO get some. Self respect is attractiver.

But to say "a real woman" will never want a douche is foolish. Many lovely people get fucked over by horrible spouses. And certain women, who have very high self esteem and are clearly quality people, may take him home for a night for the thrill, ully aware the guy is a dick. I wouldn't judge quality of character from who people fall in love with.

[WillyEscobar33]

@molewizard im not talkin about if ur tryning to have a one nighter im saying if your tryning to get that sexy trophy chick, of course anyone can get a chick for one night if they play their card right

[molewizard]

@WillyEscobar33 Generally, people will put up with a similar level of shit to what they are normally recieving. So long as a douche is a douche from the start, nobody's going to say "He's done something particularly bad this time, I'm going to break up witrh him despite all this attraction".

People are generally irrational.

[molewizard]

@WillyEscobar33 That's a wonderful nickname by the way.

[sexykatie90]

thumbs up if you liked this Anatomy of a Douchebag: How To Get a Girl To Go Out With You

[0willow0]

@sexykatie90 Are you serious lol?? I'll like the video thank you very much.

[joeblowthehot]

LICK NIGGER

[Quicksilver903]

This is sad. But true

[Wiscbadgerfan56]

georgy girl the seekers play the whole thing

[xRoCstarx1]

0:47 what is that thing...

[ashman9992]

ooouukeee.... so you're making fun of douchebags so far good but you also pluck and form your eyebrows ... do you feel the irony or you're just another retard

[WillyFeelerbusch]

those are some fantastic tits!!!

[samsungmartiHKM]

I think Shoemeister should make more Anatomy of a Douchebag.

Sounds like a great series to me.

EP1. How To Get a Girl To Go Out With You

EP2. How To Make Money Quick

EP3. How To Be Popular

EP4. How To Win a Fight

EP5. How To Have Fun

[13craj]

60 kegs dude word lmfao

[twiztidsidfreak13]

wow she really does have a HUGE RACK! i would so be a douche to nail that chick!

[SilverTrippyHaze]

That's a girl?

[puttmill14]

LOL u gotta be a fat retard to pick up a fat retard!!

[derex47]

so real so good

[whiteyonwelfare]

DUDE..DUDE! WORD

[kissingandtelling]

267 people are DBags!

[dxthehardyzway1997]

hahaha, thats really how it goes too. rhats the sad thing.

[Ioannx]

this is like real old school utube... great stuff

[godmode9]

what a shrill bitch

[FutureLaugh]

Damn that cow was the hottest girl you could get for the video? In reality she would be trying to get you drunk and desperately trying to show you her tongue ring

[pokerace420]

@FutureLaugh

chick was hott brah.

[overdose894]

this didnt work for me :(

[EMEgoonsquad]

nick nigger

[EzraHampton1]

wtf

[MyTemporaryAccount88]

Sad thing is: I'm a nice guy, but my peaks of sexual activity was when I was pissed off at an ex & just wanted to get tail & didn't give a fuck about being nice.

Women, you've got yourself to blame. You stick with assholes, you dump nice guys, and you play & break the nice guys heart so he turns into an asshole. Congratz.

[Koogea1]

@MyTemporaryAccount88 dude I thought I was the only one that felt that way....girls usually go out with guys that treat them bad and girls like that....what a messed up world

[SeventhSun]

@MyTemporaryAccount88

Normal is boring. Nice is like what? When I need a specialist for whatever technical problems that come up (like computers and stuff) I have to respect his expertise and his helpful attitude, but um I also noticed that on the other hand nice guys often finish last because.

They are slow eaters.

Maybe you have manned up by ending your procrastination at the dinner table.

[komoriaimi]

haha! Sadly it's kinda true and same goes both ways, a lot of guys fall for the bishes.

Girls fall for douchebags, guys fall for angry, selfish bishes XD

[RaWrPoNZi]

Her voice just kills me.



[TyLerSTMonkey]

i thought he said his name was Nick Ligger, i laughed uncontrollably, switch the "N" and the "L" and you'll see what i mean = D

[tHickman95]

ha, he looks like anton chigurh (offof no country for old men)

[JenniferLoni]

LMAO... The red head guy with yellow shirt looked just like my brother and the girl looked like my brothers ex.. They acted the same too...

[kristobaldude]

Happy Douching! lolz

[queekers]

60 kegs is a shitload of beer lol

[ArchAngelXIV]

Even with 4 polos and a shirt he still looks fat .... dude.... ! :p

[JerryTerrifying]

I think is this guy wanted to get chicks all he'd have to do is stop getting a womans hair cut.

[bigswano]

the fat bitch cunt ends up with the fat douche retard

what's the problem here?

[reptile1104]

@bigswano hahahaha

[FattyArbuckle1981]

Tan not orange enough? Penis of average size? Damn. I'll never get a sweet whore like her. Maybe if I were a black man with 7 kids and a few felonies, I could get a second chance. Women these days are so classy.

[pheonixkiller1]

You sir are fucking gay go fuck yourself bitch

[dontworrybehappy2]

Thats a horrible example, not even a cute chick...

[IXScroungerXI]

That's way too many polo's, even for a douchebag. >_<

[Alxphat]

it's funny when fat guys pop their collar,like they need a even shorter neck xD

[TheLightningspeed]

Oh, hi, I didn't see you come in LOL

[xkingwoodx]

LOL @ Fat Girl

[thenerdyherd]

1:35 lol his face

[sim725]

4 years old....Fuck i thought douchebag was a new word

[feltersnatch123]

If I fucked that fat tub of shit I wouldn't be telling anyone.

[Omega1874]

What's sad is that girls love this retarded shit. Any man who treats 'em like shit - - they want it bad. Girls love to be ignored, shit on, and treated like ass.

[groscave23]

@Omega1874 Sad but true....

[android790]

@Omega1874 im sure people have been giving you shit about this post since you put it, well the truth of the matter is ladies, you women get bored really fast, and a man thats in tune with your needs and feelings gets you bored. its not entirely your fault. its are responsibility as men not to forget that were men!! So how about we treat each other like humans remembering once in a while to remind each other you care about one-another, like a birthday and Christmas.

[Omega1874]

@android790 As much as your free-loving spirit is appreciated, women are wired differently, bro. It's just the way things are. Woman are overtly emotional, always changing their shit because it's their nature. Men are contempt with the status quo, and even if we remind our women from time to time, just expect them to get bored regardless. Point in case - ALL women are evil, there's no way around it.

[Frankyboy1177]

@Omega1874 you are so damn right dude...that's how it is

[ashman9992]

@Frankyboy1177 are you kidding me this guy making the c vid is shaping his eyebrows...and talkng abot douchbags... its like a junkie talking to another junkie telling him how bad drugs are

[Rind0Man]

@Omega1874 Douche girls go for douche guys which sucks since their children would be double the douchebaggery their parents..

[ChordAbsolute]

@Omega1874 and then they complain about it

[Omega1874]

@ChordAbsolute Because they're women. They love to bitch and complain and whine and expel themselves. It's hard to find a good woman out there. It's better than winning the Powerball, I can tell you that much.

[Econ1260MetZRoberto]

@Omega1874 Word! Archer is what girls crave for!

[hungchung]

@Omega1874

That shit is so fucking true. Girls just need to have the damn drama in their lives. I don't get it, i really don't. I guess the saying is true... Nice guys finish last.

[SeventhSun]

@hungchung

Drama colours lives, even if at my playful discretion it is sometimes at their expense.

When I do it sometimes I feel like I playfully kicked the sand in their, anus faces. Their look as I make away is priceless. I smile and laugh at them with tender loving care and unyielding naughtiness regardless.

And you finish last because you are a slow eaters. The world actually punishes you for it, nothing to do with anything else.

[2443425Nick]

being a douchebag seriously works

[AnUnlimitedRecord]

listen to some OAR... lmfao

[LittleEarthquake1]

That chubby girl has some big ass boobies and i wanna squeeze em!

[Enayze]

Nick Ligger is the biggest douche in the video lol

[MessyPaint]

That's a lot of collar.

[1MPALASS]

i agree

[finzfan92]

To quote Metallica: SAD BUT TRUE

[hophoopine]

quadruple collar pop= quad douchebag

[grapesyumm]

dude 60 kegs

yeah

[Nazkind]

Fake & Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

[ilovechipotle85]

@Nazkind no shit its fake, but is it gay cuz this video outlined who you are?

[Nazkind]

@ilovechipotle85 Oh, i didnt want to offend you,its just an expression used in raywilliamjohnson vids,keep makin nice vids!

[gilosan100]

that is sooo true

[JEDI7ACEN]

LOL! Do they buy the Polos from Costco in bulk packs?

[SergeantSloth]

1253 people are douchebags already.

[hophoopine]

@SergeantSloth everywhere you look theres douchebags man

[queekers]

ew....fat people.....

[mistikalnawe]

i LMAO'd when the song came on lolz

[Guido4lyfe88]

This is maad true ahaha girls dont want a nice guy they love douchebags!!As much as they say that hate douches they love them!

[djis291]

heee is fuckin right man

nice guys finish last

[Seakros]

For those who asked, the song/track is:

Three 6 Mafia - I Gotta Stay High

[mistikalnawe]

@Seakros its "i gotta stay FLY" not HIGH

[Rockguitarhero462]

bitches love douchebags!

[rufus740]

chinstrap went outta style back in 94

[cemb415]

4 polos LoL

[MrMONSLER420]

@cemb415 I LOL'D irl at that.

[Kr1chfact0rX]

i never really understood why girls loved douchebags. but i think i figured it out since i have kinda become one... girls, in college mainly, are scared of relationships, so a guy who doesn't give 2 shits can come in and sweep them off there feet for a period of time is good because nothing really comes out of it. go ahead and hate if you must but i think that is what it is.

[matthew21469]

wats the song in the middle called?

[embi3n]

everyone thinks they are a fucking director, actor, or a dumb fucking celebrity on youtube. everything sucks

[Robbie2019]

wow thats the most anoying voice ive ever heard

[Vidhole]

How to be a douche:

1) Constantly advocating Mac products to everyone around you, e.g. bragging about how great your macbook is.

2) Always fiddle with your iphone, even when it seems inappropriate

3) Wear Abecombie and Fitch

4) Sunglasses at night

5) Only learn specific songs on the guitar

6) Shirtless pictures on the internet

7) Claim you are a "liberal", even though you know little or nothing about politics

9) own posters of cult films that you have never watched yourself

[rabbitgodownthehole]

@Vidhole

Aaaaah... the "hipster" douche. A classic.

[jleiter6]

ghey.

[SatanicDoomElf]

Nick Ligger... I like the name.

[Tikigod784]

also known as bros

[systemisdisturbed]

Lmao, "dude 60 kegs, dude...word!!"

[nottinmatterz2day]

i think rob did act like a deochbag the first time

[Chris5537]

if you guys love making fun of douches, I dedicated a whole site to it, simply type TOTALDOUCHES into google and click the first link, and enjoy the hilarious posts on there and post your own, thanks

[Scenesarah24]

Wow

[aczeppelindc2908]

DUDE! virgins, a fat ugly dude and fat ugly skank! BTW real guys dont try getting ugly skanks but real women with some brains!

[joboom6]

Douchebag are not fat and this guys is fat so fail

[B3EZ90]

nothing to do with it.. multiple shirts? more like tight ed hardy shirts or fk your ex im next or stuff like that shiny. tans, steroids.

[motofan998]

Happy Douching

LOL!!!!!!

[boosomentity]

@motofan998 thats gonna be my catch phrase for at least a month

[ErinTheFish]

i have that same palm tree

[illmagnified]

LMFAOOO- 2 fat ass fucks dating eachother...match made in heaven...

[radicka]

ew- shes so fat.

[playboymaxim]

Unfortunately, nowadays this seems to be the case (even tho the vid is old)

Some good girls are left but U gotta look hard........

Quality over quantity my brothas

[CartmanNorway]

ur fat

[dembkomj]

love the 5 polos with the popped collars

[WHITETRASHDOLL]

I thought the girl was cute..sadly I thought the d bag was cute too...ugh this is why I'm fun at parties..I guess

[mikebenardi]

im your host nick ligger

[Eumeliee]

this is not a douchebag, this is a fucking big pour guy.. thats it !.

[Eumeliee]

this is not a douchebag, this is a fucking big pour guy.. thats it !

[rynbsq]

for a douchbag he sure was a lard ass. I thought being fit got all the ladies not being a butter ball.

[Darkcowboy]

Hahahaha \m/

[Hutcarlingos]

the cell phone thing was pretty good, I'm gonna use it

[jb0177]

The title should be, 'how to pick up fatties with low self esteem.'

[depoldan]

@jb0177 douchebags dont go for fatties(even though the chick in the video is). they go for hotties with low self esteem. yes most good looking women have low self esteem

[IndependentApe]

@jb0177 Since sadly most girls are "fatties with low self esteem" the title doesn't really sound wrong...

[MooTheInsane]

fix ur mic

[johnnyboysouthside]

haha da bitch is a grenade anyway!

[billygrimmuwo]

lol his name should of been Dick Diggler

[BrulesRules001]

my name is la nigger

[Bloodline616]

Hi, my name is Lick A Nigger.......

[terminalboredom1910]

This video fails. Worst advice I've ever heard. The name of this video should be "How To Get a Girl To Go Out With You ... And then hate you". Girls hate douchebags, just fyi.

[Slipnotes]

0:10 HOW THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU SEE ME COME IN? IM A FUCKING GIANT AND YOU'RE SO FUCKING TINY I COULD CRUSH YOU WITH MY PENIS...wait, what? >_>

[MrBadassButch]

Shes cute :3

[davitodude]

I knew so many guys in high school and college that acted just like that.

[Foucan87]

did he say his name was nig licker? ....

[MarkyC2k9]

Mistake: trying to go out with a fat dyke.