Policenauts Retsupurae

[ahshorn]

Please tell me the original "review" was flagged for copyright.

[JohntheNonCultist]

This guy dresses like he's from the 80s.

[evrbody]

The Irate Gamer watched this video and said "What a fucking hack".

[sankunsama]

This guy would be perfect for ThatGuyWithTheGlasses

[Bangcat]

I'm tha BenStienator... Com with me iv you vant to sleep to hymns of Captain Obvious.

[NeoTStyle]

"I wish he was doing more cutting on his fucking wrists."

Haha, classy.

[GeneticKH]

I love Retsupurae

[Tinlion09]

All of the best review shows have glacially-paced, 30-second intros!

[Tinlion09]

All of the best review shows have g

[Jetblast01]

"You know what would be sadder than reviewing this game would be if someone went through and hacked the damn thing."

"I'll sa-fuck you."

Oh Slowbeef, still living up to your name.

[bust2007]

Hey, you missed pal

[inferno232]

Hey, it's Jack!

" 'Eeeeey, Mikey boy! Let's play Policenauts for a while, whaddya say?"

[JanitorAntisocial]

This boring fuck's voice really clashes with his asinine sense of humor and apparent lack of shame.

Interesting.

[gaminggoddess85]

Ugh. I bet the guy jerked off while he was sexually harassing the stewardess.

Poor Slowbeef.

[grottypissedstained]

"Oh look at you!"

I love how Slowbeef says that.

[potatospeederbike]

Is that Hiragana or KATAKANA?!

[MrLolbuds]

@potatospeederbike ...does it matter?

[Prometheusmfd]

Is that a topless chick poster?

[Ezo945]

What happened to the orifinal video?

[BunkerFox]

@Ezo945 I think Retsuprae get in trouble if they post vids with people actually in them

[Sx2Kirby]

So Policenauts is just a realllly long movie reference.

[Mettaler]

I don't think this guy's used to playing visual novels outside of the nukige genre.

[SonikFan80]

Title: Policenauts Retsupurae

Description: Policenauts Retsupurae

Tags: Policenauts Retsupurae

BRILLIANT!

[guilphire]

I am literally going to take a nap now. That guy's voice has drained me.

[Jat380]

Does the original to this exist anymore?

[blackkakari]

That part where the guy was talking is just like the part in Red Dragon where the guy talks.

[Brassherald]

OH MY GOD A BROWN ATTACHE! IT MUST BE A PULP FICTION REFERENCE, MUST ADD A CLIP FROM IT...

OMG A WALL! DEFINITELY A REFERENCE TO THE ROOM, THAT HAS 4 WALLS!

[Albatorwow]

I'm high as fuck, and I say: He sounds exactly like Microsoft sam.

[secritaccount]

Captain N reviewed video games?

[MidnightMidna]

At 5:33, the woman has breasts! This is obviously a reference to Gone with the Wind in which Scarlett O'Hara also has breasts! Here's a clip just in case you didn't get it!

[sygnus5]

This reminds me of that video they made where they also made Family Guy jokes!

Also, I'm just gonna say that I beat Policenauts without touching a single breast, and this review has sullied my memory

[MagikGimp]

Later this year an English translation was released rendering his whole video (even more) worthless! Yay!

[karlr42]

@MagikGimp A translation done by slowbeef, one of the commentators on this video, no less. Google "slowbeef Policenauts".

[MagikGimp]

@karlr42 The Internet is such a small place eh?

[WhiteTiger225]

I know there are assholes that whine about retsupurae fans bringing this up but go fuck yourself, whats funny is watch The SpoonyOne's review of "The Thing" game. same thing pretty much. This guy is trying to sound like the Gaming Historian but is using all the Gimmicks Spoonyone put forth :p

[dandy269]

I rather be watching Conway Twitty...

[WhiteTiger225]

@dandy269 I actually like his music >.>

[supercockroach]

Found this video by fluke, and haha!

Will be checking if you reviewed any other random things, been a good laugh

[Chiller326]

@supercockroach you know about retsupurae right?

[13Hubris]

This guy has to be the only video game reviewer with ADHD.

[WhiteTiger225]

Anyone else keep expecting to hear "And coming next is a lovely piece by Phil Collins late night here at slow jams WPMX 98.3..."

[90sHeroMAXD]

He thought that the animu girls were the plot

[PsychicBluthSnake]

WTF was wuth the MGS3 time paradox at 6:06

[HeavensDrills]

This reviewer is so not Jewario.

[Skinnyoompalumpa]

@HeavensDrills

>Implying jewario is any better

[insertnamehere765]

That reminds me, I have to record me solving every hard puzzle so I can ruin my Professor Layton review.

[d01hazel]

Why can't I find this on the real Retsupurae channel? Are you just that darn good at faking SB and DB that I can't tell the slightest difference? Because if you are, you've got a lot of money in your future (assuming you can perfectly copy /other/ people's voices and mannerisms, of course).

[sportsfan723]

@d01hazel they had to take it down quite a while ago. But they have it on one of their several alt accounts...i forget which one though. He probably got it from there

[TheBilly]

@d01hazel It might have been pulled thanks to Youtube's content recognition system (it can find any small clip of any movie or show, anywhere. Yes, really)

[bast963]

I stopped watching when the lessons started showing up.

If they know it, they know it. If they don't know it, and don't want to learn it, then THEY WOULDN'T WATCH THIS VIDEO (probably gave up as soon as the first cutscene started.)

[supersonicman96]

sebu rodo and this guy disliked this

[joejoerg]

First off he looks nothing like Captain N so fail there. Second off I would never want to call myself the Gamemaster. If someone came up to me saying that I would misunderstand him saying hi im the GAY MASTER.......say gamemaster and tell me thats not what it sounds like

[Icerama108]

@joejoerg

You're right Nostalgia-Not-Critic.

[sonicfeet]

"Not-stalgia Critic"

[Icerama108]

@sonicfeet

But no nostalgia-not-chick, he can't talk to girls.

[Goodguy33]

This is almost as bad as Let's play Chobits. .

At least this game sort of has gameplay . .

[GermanJimmy69]

you might be able to make a flashy video into, but that wont make your parents love you

[DrMarilynFan]

Holy crap! Plank from 'Ed, Edd and Eddy ' is more emotive than this guy.

[Gazooki69]

It's 2010, where's our space stations? Oh wait, we've got that shitty Russian vessel that has no function whatsoever. Way to go, world, we're totally prepared for our intergalactic conquest of the moon.

[Jrezky]

@Gazooki69 I blame the dark ages. If it weren't for them we'd be exploring the galaxy by now.

[supersonicman96]

i forget, what's the name of that show at the end

[sillygramcracker]

@supersonicman96

It's Crayon Shin Chan I believe. It used to be on Adult Swim.

[Dankore]

So where is this ROM hack? Was it completed?

[RoyStorey]

@Dankore Yeah, it was finished and uploaded a couple months back.

[muichimotsu]

I assume the original reviewer's video without the riff on it has been deleted too?

[Skelengar]

I don't think he quite understands that "movie reference" isn't synonymous with "something vaguely similar to a scene in a movie."

[ArchangelDrake]

This guy should punch Lejik Let's Play in the face.

[NeoTStyle]

"No Urkel's in Policenauts, he's Sebu."

[mintyfreshsage]

Microsoft Sam plays games?

[EdmacZ]

Pathetic Kid 3: Electric Boogaloo is better.

[WindyCornerTV]

I couldn't imagine slowbeef's reaction when he saw this video posted on Junker HQ. Probably "jackpot". Boy did he post it in the wrong forums. Still waiting for retsupurae to attack my policenauts review. I posted it on Junker HQ a year ago, what's the delay? I'm waiting......

[jorgelemonjello]

Mystery Science Youtube 3000?

[EdmacZ]

Family Guy...

I don't even need to watch the rest of the video to know how shitty it is. FG instantly pushed it into the realm of crap.

[SQUIZZLER24]

@EdmacZ Especially when it's a clip recorded in fucking terrible quality on a shitty cam. Thank god for Retsupurae I say...

[Fatality65]

6:20 I have too admit. They do look a little bit like Murtaugh and Riggs from lethal wepeon, except for the blue hair.

[GTAfan421]

The kid killing was NOT a die hard reference, Murtaugh kills a kid in LW3.

[spetnaz93]

those aren't refferences just because they have the same stuff going on.

[FateJHedgehog]

Movie References: Shoot me now.

[jet4212006]

5:45 it's Meryl from MGS.

[TheCanadianLeader]

Slowy...falling asleep...review...so...boring.­..zzzzzzzz.

[TheGamedawg]

Next he's going to review a movie and keep making video game references.

[Headbanger142]

What the....what the heck did I just watch? This has got to be one of the worst reviews ever. Too many blatent "references" and the guy sounds like a freaking robot. I miss Billy :(

[shadowfax273k]

1:14 He's a Snatcher.

[Ixey5]

Eesh! I'm interested in Japanese, but even I can't stand weeaboos.

This review fails everywhere, but where should I start? The emotionless voice? His perverted pleasures? The pointless references, which he ruins by explaining them? The fact that he's not expressing his opinions? I CAN'T FRIKKIN DECIDE!

>o<

[eggbandicoot6]

@Ixey5 It's not a review, obiovusly. It's a fucking reference list.

[Ixey5]

@eggbandicoot6 Oh right! I forgot that a review is supposed to have you expressing your opinions, and I already mentioned that he doesn't do that.

Thanks!

^-^

[GPMsMotokoLover]

@Ixey5 'Weeaboo' is so 2000s. BE creative and come up with something original other than something some dorky 16-17 year olds found in a stupid internet comic and used to death on their message board. Yeesh!

[Ixey5]

@GPMsMotokoLover Then what do you recommend?

o_O

[fatmanfiftythousand]

Wait, you actually found and reposted the original of this? Hmm.

(And you didn't even get dinged for copyright. Well done.)

[TheGreatATuin42]

This guy shoulda played Dr. Manhattan. This guy has the hang of it, no emotion whatsoever.

[BreakerdeGodot]

@TheGreatATuin42 NOOOO!!!! I do NOT want to see this guy's cock!

[ZuedaYT]

@TheGreatATuin42 You want to see his penis? Really?

[cyberhoodlum]

lol, wow. This is one of the worst videos Retsupurae has ever commented on. The only video I can think of that's worse is the one where the little kid is playing Starfox 64 and recording it with a camcorder that is barely even facing the screen.

[UberRusty]

So, wait, scanlines on the Family Guy but a good 8 or so minutes of quality movie scenes, KATAKANA sheets, and Policenauts? You can add inconsistent to the list of many negative things this kid is.

[Nktalloth]

Wait.

Is he seriously translating the game in a vlp? He's narrating things that are happening on screen?

What

[MrJoker773]

So what this guy's saying is that I should be able to fully understand japanese by those two sheets?

Got it.

[SenseiLeRoof]

Movie reference: Asshat "reviews" a Japanese video game with all the expressiveness of a plastic bag. Clearly this must be Twilight.

[grenadier42]

I love how he gives you the hiragana and kanji sheets. Y'know, because you don't need to know the Japanese words or anything.

[mawknation]

I might have to come back to this video later. Y'know, in case I forget what Japanese looks like.

[JohnKiller118]

5:46

Hey, look! It's Meryl!

She even has the old school FOXHOUND symbol on her arm!

[markaged]

At first I was like "Oh, blank out the video so I have no idea what's going on!" But then I was like, "Oh wait, I can't understand anything the asshole is muttering anyway!"

Either way, hilarious regardless of anything.

[sonicfeet]

You can see Master Shake in the upper left corner in the live-action segments.

[Granis25]

"Does he seriously contend to teach you Japanese in a 11 minute Youtube video?"

Hahahahahaha.

[TotalSimpleton]

I don't know if I wanna play the Policenauts translation anymore..

[s0shadow]

hey guys im so cool cuz i know japanese amirite

[FourthDerivative]

Is it sebu or rodo? The ultimate question.

[ChezJamesy]

Lets Play Narcolepsy

[AnnoyingAssassin]

He's like Max Payne, only less badass and without the metaphors.

Okay, he isn't anything like Max Payne.

[glukkglukk]

I would say he like talking cardboard...only less likeable.

ps. Did not mean to insult the cardboard.

[supaflyjohnson]

I've been looking for this, thanks man.

[KellerKlam]

WOAH!

u put this out on my bday!

[supaflyjohnson]

What are the odds?!!

1 in 356.

[sonicfeet]

"Wait-- is that Hiragana-- or KATAKANA????"

[CleaveTheDragon]

Oh god fuck why does he keep making loose references this is not a good idea please stop please

[CleaveTheDragon]

At 4:10 he includes a scene from "A Christmas Story" which racially stereotypes Asian speech.

That's a rather odd clash against his weird weeaboo fetish for learning Hiragana and Katakana just to play games.

[hbomberguy]

For people who don't understand the references they make to "hacking the damn thing" and the text that they superimposed over parts of the review, Slowbeef and some other guys were doing a fan translation or something.

[Gigaspine7]

"I'll sa-... Fuck you."

[sonicfeet]

FUCKING CHRIST, man.

The original reviewer should at LEAST put some emotion in his voice.

He sounds like some sort of emo.

[streetkiller1795]

@sonicfeet Nooooo... Thats an insult to emo's everywhere. At least the put some emotion into it...

[CyberSlayer128]

@sonicfeet he's trying to channel that douche from paranormal state

[TonyMontana234]

Woah, was that Goatse Baker? Also, where did the game go, why am I being taught Japanese?

[xxpandamidknightxx]

This dude sounds like he is sad and emo.

[DefectiveCactusBox]

AND a weaboo

[xxpandamidknightxx]

I hate weaboos.

[OfficialMC2]

I'd watch Pathetic Kid II: The Quickening in a heartbeat.

[MaliusEpiphany]

dude, best movie ever.

[spacevampirestudios]

I actually prefer the version with the MS Paint drawings.

[PankeymanProductions]

Thanks for re-uploading this! It sucked how that retsueprae got deleted, I'm glad it's back.

[cherrydoom]

Learn Japanese the Fat Fuck way: while playing an extremely obscure foreign video game made by Fat Fuck God Hideo Kojima.

[KazuoKiriyama666]

lol

[SusurrosDeLaCucuy]

I can image this guy having an orgasm.